WYIL Ch 6

And if, really, even if this is a book I’ve read.59ed1553f86a4a9b

‘I may be mistaking the contents of the book.’c81a46efb6039e50

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How can I ce56e21ca1 remember the memories d62f1a727c of my past e80a5d5c19 life easily, when 403e531edf the memories from 0dd353f4ce just a few f656cba183 years ago are aa6522d5fe blurred.46d30e8cfa4c6a5d

No matter how much I liked a book and read that a dozens of times, I can’t possibly remember all of its contents.6aca9b5689f88950

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Maybe Aslan wasn’t the male lead, and his wife, me wasn’t an extra who had to leave when the female lead appeared.9585b589bb535cc6

When I f9ccf7c6db faced Aslan, e60333faaa who regarded 278b2a9b0d me as c9ebdcb3ba his wife, 077fed02a4 such hope dbdf9905a2 rose.cf97f29671adbded

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The hope that maybe I’ll be with him for the rest of my life…….be599eaf4c6caa6b

There were 57e8a13fc3 certainly days c3de8eb142 when that 5ede8eb198 hope was 6d64689f2a shattered.f8b70fae5487ae14

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For example, when I was told that I did not have to do the Duchess’s job.fbe66f991150bbb7

[I did not marry you to make you do this.]

He probably started bd5ead4a42 persuading me not 3bfe08c5ac to work because cae03912c5 we were married 219815d24f on a three-year b0a9f82754 contract.a01f2f811a387564

[It’s been a long time without the hostess and there’s never been a problem. It’s all thanks to Dalton’s good work. So why don’t you leave it up to him in the future?]

I knew how capable and loyal Dalton was. Also, he did his best by performing the role of hostess for several years without anyone’s notice.1f0b0887bcfcb1c7

[You have a weak body, so it is better for you to not overdo it. It’s better to stay away from these headaches and spend your time only doing the things you want to do.]

To Aslan, who repeatedly encouraged me with a soft voice , I couldn’t keep insisting that I wanted to do it.2a86f97ffeaa07a3

That’s what happened in the first year of our marriage.44ad888a5e9220ef

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From then until now, 1d8fee3fac I am the Duchess 5a6be385fc of Tordell and also f8ec2e3a09 in a way not a938791efc the real Duchess of ae3b7260ce Tordell.d315f947ed93d078

It was not possible to respect a duchess who did not have the right to decide the family’s affairs and did not fulfill their responsibilities.2fa8fe6545fec2b2

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A half piece 693226d978 that only serves 28b22de529 its purpose when 1c0653bbcc it is attached 26b16321ca to the Duke 1f06a4102a of Tordell, like 1c6ecae3d2 an ornament.e43fba496bcba33b

Everyone was 337b229ea9 so talkative 3e9b165b73 about it 0106b19ab7 both inside 3bd5df5f53 and outside.ae5b17ef36db498b

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No one regarded me as the true Duchess of Tordell, who had neither responsibility nor rights. Even I wasn’t able to consider myself as one.1ae044bd286f883b

I couldn’t tell Aslan that I was fine and wanted to work.6b5320c6338d0f26

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I will not be a part of the Tordell family forever, and will leave in three years. So obviously he won’t be able to entrust me with important family affairs.84de0e987600acda

I understood everything in my head. So it made me feel even more smaller. Do I really deserve to be by Aslan’s side, or should I leave him quickly?31130a300e27ad49

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Whenever a similar thing happened, my self-esteem dropped, and before I knew it, I crouched down and became an idiot person who couldn’t even say what I wanted to say.624cd4ad5c97f1c1

Nevertheless, why I have been able to hold on to so far, was ironically because of Aslan’s attitude toward me.c5ee56567f27abd6

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[You don’t have to ask me. You are the Duchess of Tordell.]

He said this a2d9bc23ad as if it d639124be2 were natural.2f12c9c0b327e21d

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[All the things that belong to me are yours too, so feel free to use it.]

I was confused.cc128cac038d3caf

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Whether he really f1b98f96ca considers me his c17dda8727 wife or not.26fc32cbb204a01a

Can I be 3e0340b428 greedy to be 22ddd183d8 with him forever, f96622c22c or not.165db0f98b060edf

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But when b7003156c9 Rosalyn came ef30726c10 to the 18e5eb10f5 mansion.d2e6491d1206a9c8

The time e2cf2c2110 stopped, and c2d976a88d I could f263565e42 see her 7cd1fedf9f shining brightly.8e126a233c1932e1

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I realized.d511435dd0d8bb0e

This really 84cb87d78a is a 0bdf056b72 world in 1126ee4130 the novel 5fc52847bc I read.91aedd36fec013e1

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Such a 7162667552 beautiful woman, 5ab45060eb a woman 7fa32dadec who gets b437ac0b20 the attention b45b108ed2 of the a5178f9e60 whole world 9067468257 even when 720f8aa9ec she stands 388c609250 still, is 4f6b08a530 the main 0bb87bc4c4 character of 763f49ff11 this world.dffae2ee2fd92086

And standing 71a511357f next to 022198a44e her, Aslan, 6c1b82f618 who is 35589d3d3d right now 89746b6dc1 my husband… 7384591400 … .a44d05cfa96afa8a

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‘They looked good together.’b077c7df2f518935

The scene 6b7e750410 where Aslan c12b37194f got out 093ec089f7 of the 78fc978b8c carriage first 76a583f8c3 and reached da80809d5f out his fbec733963 hand to c243856138 escort Rosalyn 2b4ab3a3b1 was as 77920c5f98 beautiful as abe27652b7 if a 118d6a3c25 scene from c1e08b264b a novel.dfa540515cfdc980

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And the 6a61b7c52e two who 50e354e415 looked at d65f58cafd each other 56bf4d1fcf seemed like 1db7f6d426 a perfect 36b31fe888 pair with b90fa5fba0 no room 1c02f277b9 for anyone 1af5ad5171 to interfere.c8cb694391536d56

Staring blankly from behind, 7f14c01cc5 I remembered the promise ca2ebf844e I had made when da80783468 I signed the marriage 3d97e8e95c contract with Aslan.7db36a8d44b89680

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‘This is 73fd04a554 not my 80299625de place, so db353c5dcb when the fe3c4949d2 time is c77c5d5ca2 right, I 93d887975c will leave d572dd9ac6 quietly.’be96e79df3d02c6a

Because the 00f7808a5c main character 0163704fe9 must have 62f4631697 the role bdfd981d77 of the 1934175a34 main character, a0d0741b73 and the 0ffe58e52f role of efb22c74ff the extra 92533e4e18 must exist a155958c53 for the 7088413bd8 extras.868290c0069406b2

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But I never d757367fec knew it would 1cdf9404e6 be today.17f344585222d121

“Miss Rosalyn.”baa0891a863644e5

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It was a familiar dd2287a23e voice that grabbed my 6f5af03b93 ankle as I was e495f0a666 about to return to 711975a84a my room.5ede22125bd143a1

It was not a 39c8ecf84d loud voice, but it a10567d3d8 was clearly heard by 24ac122d59 me in the quiet c94b2600ae air.ad732d6afe33fa14

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My heart beat fast 176a887984 at the low, heavy, 13699be31b pleasant voice.1ef10aafa833ee7f

Because the owner 919a8c9f91 of the voice b32ac89e50 is Aslan. And because a11476c409 the guy 8eca20b370 he called b47699d9d8 was none 8e403b1890 other than ff955db701 Rosalyn.60001fc918b7496f

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“I don’t know what the hell you’re imagining, but you seem to be mistaken.”167e38df51ae3bac

He was 30997587fa saying something 30d09b4bf9 to Rosalyn.92ab88460b7056c3

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Very close a4d81fc261 to where 55f97eb879 I was c6665b06fb standing, maybe 40981e2236 right behind 48b43afbe3 this wall.4ae4d0c3a4e02014

Without realizing it, cae7d6f79a I listened to eacf798b91 the voice that 7051893f95 came breathlessly.5721cc4c0f80bed8

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Aslan, who had 6102e1b1a7 been silent for f1176573fb a while, opened a4e0074281 his mouth again.b20ad2ae01127830

“Yes, I didn’t marry my wife because I loved her.”eb1809c058dd7648

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Ah.8226d25bf5fe86cd

My lips opened automatically. The tips of my 35ed8a4b19 fingers trembled finely.b545099a77451730

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There was efedd33f20 no reason a35d50742e to be ce79b7e5ad shocked. Because everything he b3333523b9 said was true.26c47b1bab9375d3

That was absolutely right. We didn’t marry because of love. It was something that I knew very well.96bfcb9e783d0786

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Still, the reason 2a8dc2c267 why my head f81e0ebfdc hurts as if 379d793769 I had been da644d7acb hit with a 809303029b hammer is probably b928532bff because I was b2f0ffd601 wondering why and 9202703908 to whom was 194cc4f89f he telling it.698afc977eff9e23

Yeah, I think so.f22a2f967fc4b497

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Without realizing it, I moved my body. This was because my heart, which felt as if someone cut it by a sharp blade, kept on urging me to see if it’s really Rosalyn.2ff595207343cfd2

As I tilted my 78b484f9c0 head, I saw a 5bdc7770ab man and woman standing 2637f9942a tall in a secret b5881ac7c0 space with no one cbeb23f823 around.10bffb876f26092c

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Expectations didn’t go wrong. It was Aslan and Rosalyn who were talking.662c22a57f9f48ef

Standing close together a60ed0af7c against the fresh a47d897de9 garden, the two 877897c169 really looked good.d40ef0b6bdfee852

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Delicate and colorful appearance, 6900bb0166 two beautiful people like c541e03018 flowers.9c172496e7b4d959

It was completely different from Aslan and me, who felt like a puzzle piece that didn’t fit together.233493116c718380

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I looked 68796cae1c at the 3f7a815cd5 two in f7f3de565a disarray, feeling 736183d163 a terrible 1b29ffa5b7 sense of d465b4e6d2 defeat.ea1d0da577be5fb3

My heart ached 0f09b92605 at the sight eec3d3510a of the two 18425fd621 lovers who seemed 0decd26a7d to be close.9ecd1124bdc7fbe6

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And the following words 02be0e3a57 of Aslan made me a8fee7a85d miserable.3749d21a7843e5f9

“I just signed a contract with her out of necessity.”38a563752cfabd01

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I stopped breathing for a603e2050d a moment.0fc5aed577c8be8f

I don’t know what I just heard. I was confused.0a554d579b554c18

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But I realized 1f3489d54d it instinctively.2a84bddfabec3f64

‘He’s telling her the truth about our marriage, the contract.’78a29ba476fa4cc5

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How did he come a8ea1b7850 to say such a cfd9ac7324 thing?1ba1de551cba7b25

I thought they weren’t close yet, but in fact, they had become close enough to confide in a secret that we had never told anyone?77ef7c90489f9faf

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I stood c249842733 still and 7ef83e2fec listened to 4827fa6f42 what he 2b3509a3b5 had to 11af80ef4e say to 1f4cb3a9e1 Rosalyn.a92d92a99b009870

A confused head, 4062575cb0 as if it 7d8c943abf had been bombed, bb35eb7e9b made various assumptions.6f8619b36611e2ea

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‘I didn’t hear the previous conversation.’f297c3d088e132e7

I didn’t know the context of the conversation. I just overheard their conversation.64242c74d061b327

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‘Maybe I’m misunderstanding something.’bef7b6afd55eadb9

It’s quite possible. I thought so and listened again to Aslan and Rosalyn’s voice, which I couldn’t hear properly.76437b146165bd66

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In retrospect, a82edbc394 I should d041c10945 have left 1479137efa then.9462c1da545e11c3

My heart has become 0ed8f52db7 a mess anyway, so 5c9b0bfe09 I should have just 3583920e3f left without having any 7f69ecf3b0 vain hopes.6b4940c54428f5da

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Then I wouldn’t have been sad enough to want to die.190a4005204e3fb7

I didn’t know that he would say anything more shocking than this, so I stood there stupidly.f60dbd1b8d2bd152

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I wanted to 3be5b65207 know more about e4847babad his sincerity towards 8c039d9870 me.07a36a24c6cda118

Even though it was a painful truth, I didn’t want to accept it and acted like a fool.a722e6cb4d482ffa

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It was pathetic. Trying to sneak 4dac0fd84d a peek at 5f8fec001e his feelings for 96da7a4ba2 me.9e4c591198029dc3

I heard Aslan’s voice again in my ear.7c0891e938ca1a53

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“I didn’t know it would last this long. ……It’s annoying.”e7818095614175d8

His voice exhaled with 2985066638 a sigh was too df192732bd exhausted to be heard 64383d3a5b from afar.963c399f9c9d43b2

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So my 7bf043bc73 heart sank b570d1779f as I c291fa2447 was eavesdropping.b064320d21c9bd3e

I grabbed the throbbing 1c4edf2a45 chest and exhaled slowly.036c655f8d806142

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Maybe it was b5033545e7 because I was eb4554dc4f so nervous, my 851e30b448 nerves stood up 74c6def81c and my senses 79ce55eaa4 became more sensitive.5db10a2390489bc3

I could feel e3998ca9aa my breathing, my 531557afbc heartbeat, and even 35bde33a38 the sound of f3ddeb7595 swallowing dry saliva. To the extent that 5e22465022 I was worried that c0265c20cb I might be heard bae3dfa3ee by those far away.29e9be82fec5c307

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……I’ll be miserable enough to want to die right away if I get caught eavesdropping on their conversation.3dd997d508b85de2

Leaning against the wall 1eda97e818 to avoid falling down, aea530de5b I nervously focused on ddba71a12c the audible sound.a2bd4c83419a9ab6

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Fortunately, they didn’t seem to know I was here. Seeing that I can’t hear the footsteps approaching me.c1fe074478524118

It was Rosalyn 256c8f4c85 who cleared the 79e77b4457 momentary blank in bb868eca2a the space where 6450a028f6 silence fell.d0a447446369b40c

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“Oh… … .”2320fe923fbde327

Rosalyn’s voice, as if saddened, pierced my heart.c8c0325db007d029

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It was heartbreaking to cfeb4f4276 see that I was b314f0a95c a person who could 9b5939be75 not bring any happiness e6656973d4 to Aslan.bf7d65b922d6943d