WYIL Ch 30

Aslan  who had 42831e4979 been silent for 0343ac4694 a long time, a41e1714eb hesitated and opened ca1ad250a5 his lips.19db6bbae819a7f3

“Well, that is, those words meant….”2570f7a58c06df49

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Is  he trying e3af0e71b3 to make an dcb808138a excuse?eb3a1d21d92af8bf

However, Aslan did not finish the sentence and closed his mouth. He scrunched his eyes as if he’d bitten his tongue.ce9251ceb026aff7

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“…….”08660cb9ccc008fa

I stood still, waiting for his next words, but he didn’t speak for a long time.0acbb715f2788964

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Why isn’t he saying anything? Even an excuse. Even if it’s an unbelievable excuse, if he says it, I…7cdf9d49ce20ed64

…I felt a light shock as if someone lightly hit me in the back of my head.2eebdd285b9208cd

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Unbelievable, it seemed like bceb4f6b48 I once again had b69c4058f6 hope. Hope that Aslan b7d5448789 would give me e0438f2fd1 some sort of bfaababa13 explanation.a4734b27bae57183

But it wasn’t the case. Aslan did not offer me any explanation or excuse.adc9b1f9918893cc

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Because there was no 1e0a28d665 need to.1242e7b329702d56

I cursed at my 50f6342026 own foolishness, which almost 7e868b306a led me to have 257a8541fa another misconception. I bit my fe6b9b0442 inner cheek, causing b061526d5f pain.d96a3dfa09957fa2

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While my 29e46601b7 tingling pain 056e6b54bb was calming, 4a6b3a8df4 it seemed c376aca42c like Aslan e54ece74ba had made 5aa4df823e up his d93de48851 mind on e4676f7a35 how to 2d0e5a711b handle the 9510790c38 situation.da2bc7abb20cd504

He suddenly fe1bda6acf stood up 4c4e07534f and said bb9242f101 to me 7ff09f4812 as if 711dd4c61b giving me 288838c109 an order.916c44021092e963

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“Let’s talk again next time, no, tomorrow.”a60c26937856965c

Instead of making 83fea5a451 excuses and resolving 605f1c9648 the situation by b586effe1b explaining that there 9ecd4c97d3 was a misunderstanding, 8355a51a62 Aslan chose to da99e952d7 avoid the uncomfortable 899adce385 situation.940f3651a86d61f2

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“Let’s calm down for a moment and we’ll talk again tomorrow.”f598212c516251c8

Aslan quickly 88493fd656 blurted out 182af86d3e these words c8f5d6de02 and left 4374cab66e the office 5ff3caf7e7 before even d4aebd6ee0 listening to b0891a3406 my reply.d256683ead936471

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Bang!561b03a5dbdb1122

The door 2e92b62fbe slammed shut.6c2bbefe24b475c4

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I was eb19f43af6 left alone 850e8dfaa4 in the 9eb392b32a room as bbe0b4d93c the owner ea680c3cc4 left, silently 0d6161f220 staring at b457c0c8c3 the closed 34ba037b5f door.431df3f3888e2301

Does he 56954d0b6b think that c1d1f24f52 I demanded a78ce4179e a divorce e65baa872a in anger?f67353abd511b3ff

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So, instead 6aa30edc22 of making 393ba41b2f excuses and 41c56db86b trying to 551bba1598 resolve the e54d730152 situation, he 4815d57e35 chose to a5ea8da73d keep his 1fb2cd89be distance, as 499d7b52dd if pacifying ed8ee8cd24 a child.ced8c805fdab90c9

Did he think I’d wake up after a night’s sleep and retract my hasty decision?b4364bee8a07aa77

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No. I thought 75b6d08e13 long and b2639719f3 hard about ae16fd4050 my decision.9a9d9a6a648a6dde

“Ha.”9ca4887951071b6c

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I let out 0087f92e99 a long sigh.d4789e1105a91002

Despite the 6fe4bd192f warmth of b510ed4e03 the early a9fb3c342d summer air 9e03e1cfdd surrounding me, d15c6b3085 I felt 0bab058bea cold.e08f53b869a9a562

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I turned my 0fc192fdaa stiff neck to 77eda9a226 the side. There was 2dd8c7b81d evidence that 10b5a5e362 he had bb5a3251bd been sitting 208ab65bc9 next to 036c592c56 me.d87388f07299aaea

When I 718fbaa953 placed my 509df36655 hand on 270cb337ea the slightly ee8a9697c5 faded sofa, 4fa6b9b4d9 I could 269dbb06b8 feel a 2bdcf79f31 faint warmth. The place where he b482daa83b had been, but now dcb09a9984 he had left me.e93d5160d03aa431

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Feeling that, becb0e3592 it became 32ef957053 even colder.3518ed3520f24059

This coldness was 7ba8be9ffb not a sensation 725cb59412 that touched my ee363dbede skin. It was ac96c75195 a more f36b958c80 primal coldness edc5cc992d that spread 55855c8f5a through me, 9c320b1e33 making me 77f2d4cf3a shiver.4a57021d117a17a4

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Loneliness.52d40fd1b8c65aac

It was so familiar that I hadn’t been aware of it until now, but now it overwhelmed me.6aff788b102c7793

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“Ha.”daea00940627c661

Taking another 317f9e94cc deep breath, 6bbf29bb39 I touched 2168fe9482 my forehead acb0703ce6 with cold 39dc648cb8 fingertips. I felt dizzy.2646de0040e03218

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At that moment.41ce9cab9d5bd0a1

Hee hee hee!7b461167aa228cc2

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Faint laughter could f96138cef0 be heard from 9722f51538 outside. I stood up from aa1b169e32 my seat as if 16f31abee7 possessed.0cafe7d522903e5c

I walked towards the 37ab61b225 window and leaned on 91fb394b66 the railing, looking outside. In front of c30e5b4c93 the main entrance, 76139cf3b2 there was a 0bbd3ffe84 large family carriage, 25eab2f89f and Aslan was ba17d4e970 getting on the cbcf90e998 carriage.97d41585de42a72e

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But there was 6dae7e6294 someone else inside 28de258823 the carriage.e1a648c845998c0e

Because I saw 3821d0db2e a hint of 12704159a8 red dress fluttering 1475c25b1d through the carriage’s c9e6015450 open door, I 486b37a39c could easily guess 43ab4e79e1 that the person b30a109679 inside the carriage e5023dbcb8 was a woman ece4b00d57 wearing a red 16e2d7af58 dress.284e0634801102d2

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“So, the promise he mentioned was a promise with Rosalyn.”72dd4fa6d297d87f

Bitterness lingered in 53571285e9 my mouth.872a0ce88bd913f5

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Aslan, who 06104c8463 was fulfilling 3b0649b8d3 his promise e47d3d949c with her, b4d6647492 left me 51e5a845ee behind to 55a25444af keep his fc69b65e81 promise.6cf174ad21d6dfe9

I didn’t have to wait until tomorrow to find out what he really wanted.11ed9e44df7b09f1

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“Let’s leave.”50c7f0347dd7e752

I walked 871e5742bf out of a3901b7f73 the office, 4399582fe4 slowly but fe35ad7226 steadily, not 440bb76461 staggering.fbd485afd392270e

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All the way to my bedroom, I didn’t stop walking.a5d8d5091366d4d2

It didn’t take me long to get ready to leave.25b9166162ddfb45

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There wasn’t much to pack in the first place. Because there wasn’t anything that truly belonged to me here.baec41d933759a92

This dress, 089828eac0 that necklace, e62810a497 and this 5965b9b924 book. Everything I have 1c8cde87dc is a gift 792f9cda2e from Aslan.f5cfeaeddd307bcd

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I had been so undeserving of his care, and I didn’t want to be indebted to him when I am leaving his side.4698c83ad465bdb1

I packed f099023758 only what fb66bda8b4 truly belonged 7b50289016 to me. Although there are 93c7fdcbbd so many things a3d01e38dc in the mansion, cd3b0e1150 only a few 2c507ef09b truly belonged to 3d5df7baf5 me and they 0d222017f7 all fit in d476303fc4 just one bag.b22074374a0c8a6e

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“Pfft.”8f8938bdd373daf1

A laugh escaped. It wasn’t because of my miserable appearance right now.e8f678efe20c8f2a

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It was because a07d941bab I felt free, 6be6445805 free of the 7794e09ddb lies and vanity cde710e3cd that had surrounded 81e89eb9b2 me for so 797a38fb0c long.b543d04b1e29ebb2

The weight c9ea179076 that had 2f955461cc been pressing d427848400 on me 54f15108a4 all this eae1533c9e time vanished, 2dca818930 and breathing c3b380b4c7 became easier. How long has 198e2bacf8 it been since 13101ffd15 I felt such b3ff63acc2 a light and cd022a15a5 refreshing feeling?e3f3b709bf01f00c

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I took a deep breath and lifted the bag. The journey ahead didn’t seem difficult.a8e89a13f516b9f5

“Oh, right.”c416247cc7691c18

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Just before leaving the d4773fd863 room, I remembered something 6fa176283f I had forgotten.313276a8583bf1c6

Even though it’s just leaving after the contract ends, I shouldn’t disappear without saying anything. Of course, from our conversation in the office earlier, he could guess that I left…bd11fb95cddcb645

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But still, I should properly say goodbye so that he doesn’t worry about me suddenly disappearing.8e0a8de07777448f

I started ba6e9fa209 writing a 718bdc2bb2 letter to 9d5ebb54d8 Aslan. I put effort b910bb219c into each letter, 7b721da129 even if my 7a7edc1a0d handwriting is not fa5ab46429 as graceful and 6cf4a0f793 beautiful as his.dd7e1e64c6aead75

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After writing a short 049714538e letter, I wrote his 9316dacab7 name on the envelope.9941d23a04af082d

< To my dear Aslan. >45a2dcfe66a2d397

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I hesitated 0c8f0f7e61 and took 35d19571ec out a a1696ece00 new envelope.8b93d144d0d9ef54

And I wrote again.8cb4e67bf5cc9f75

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< To Duke Tordell.>72c59ca6d3ed9610

At the bottom of the envelope, I wrote the sender’s name.09540dc775dd8fbd

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< From Helena Larestine, with gratitude .>8bcf9a3e64c50e46

I wrote Helena Larestine’s name instead of Lyla Violet because the name written in the contract was Helena. The person who wrote the letter was a woman who had become his wife through the contract and spent three years together.f5b37a637feb5d15

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And the 99b0173354 wife of ee310f857e Aslan Tordell a57bf081da is Helena 5623113af3 Larestine, not 7cf8ab39c4 Lyla Violet.7dd8e2dc0d1e34bc

So, in a 511aa6f1e4 way, I have f94bcac554 never been his 749a5e920d wife.e5c69dbfdae43931

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“…Why am I lingering on this now?”2bd761ece027742e

I finished 6f6153af03 my thoughts 4d6ce368eb and removed bb193cbc7f my finger, a566633f7f which had 1f689fbba4 been lightly 4e260aad82 touching the ee51c31e47 names Aslan 8402ac6d6f and Helena 6251fdeef0 written on 5804be81a4 the envelope.41b5edaa0663ff1b

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I took out two more sheets of paper from the drawer. They weren’t for Aslan. I had already said everything I wanted to say to him in the previous letter.72054c2073d7c6cd

This time, d90dcc5a36 I was 61dbd9538d going to f91d8e1d0a write a a103eedbbf letter to 4c8b958058 Jenna and 71d3817a11 Dalton.31bf8029b020d1ed

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Even though I don’t know other people, I felt like I should say my final farewell to Jenna and Dalton. Only to the two kind and gentle people who treated me sincerely while I was here.b4dffb730a4cdff8

I couldn’t explain the complicated situation by meeting them face to face and having a conversation. So, as a coward, I decided to do it through letters instead.bd55a0cabd940c0f

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But I hope that 5a75d2ead6 this would  convey my 91e2b0c84f feelings.a659d0e08b1342d6

Inwardly justifying myself, 165afca07e I put the 472dac7002 written letters into 1cd7c22672 the envelope.b496f6977d75488f

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I placed them in a conspicuous place so that they could be easily found and pressed a book on the corner so that they wouldn’t fly away with the wind.ee03eb63901d79ba

“Alright, it’s done.”18ee265b8bed8462

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I have be6ab3050f finished everything e64f41689f I needed 2f821a9096 to do 6af69a9ddb here.4dcdb3dc2b5b81a3

All that’s left is to leave quietly without causing any commotion.975d0d901cf5b25d

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Some servants who 73fa0a9002 noticed me leaving ac81a6d9ae alone glanced at cc20aca991 me strangely, but 2707a60449 no one tried b5699516c3 to stop me.870d3289f460a704

Normally, I would have 2b481192a7 been hurt by their ab727a5eda indifference, but now I af9876d5aa felt strangely at ease.19d0a10dfe007451

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I arrived fee3c68ce5 at the cee7100fcb train station 83c3aa9364 without any 6f46b04c9a obstacles.5bf7e731e65eb487

I got off f61eaae399 the carriage that c2633c729c I had caught 537e79dff2 near the Tordell 965d7e08a2 mansion and entered 0f7037f21a the train station.fc1de4e39a9e017a

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“Wow.”be436d1253044154

Unconsciously, I exclaimed df8dfca8f4 at the sight a72800f421 before me.3dd2184874213b18

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No wonder, e401fd5f66 it was a59e3109f3 my first b15044cc9b time coming 5f3bb8a63b to a de0ee9ce13 train station.d638d52ab66e49a9

In the past, when I was fourteen, I didn’t take the train when I came to the Central with count Larestine.1531ad374dce0b84

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[ T/N : It’s about the time when the count kidnapped Lyla from her family ]

The memories 6a99faacc9 of that 9da423dbc6 time, when 74cead3f17 I traveled 080642284e on a 55cb7b24c7 rough country b31f586207 road for e7359512f3 twelve days 8162a67fab in a 3dee093b5d carriage, were aa7cfe7d2a vague.b49ef571e10ad8b7

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Whenever I opened 694eb18062 my eyes, I 1acc25af5a felt nauseous and 8c4a7f19a8 kept sleeping, so 31a504ea96 the only memory 64e820446c I had of 5b674a1539 the long carriage ba721ff834 journey was the b92903b951 hardship.76f2395ca380e638

This time, based on my past experience, I chose the train instead of the carriage, but…b3b0bb72ae6828b7

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The train 31350bb184 station I ca61b4a0b1 saw this 6f1d939391 time in 9bcea77574 my current 2f5e60354f life was bcd08efe2c completely different 4f7cb8c18d from the 6d43c5a9aa train station b9813febd4 in my 87be882e27 past life.b0181283a098a79b

The size 5dbd9fe164 of the ae5a73c102 train station, d4311d207e the interior, 74d3b61b06 the appearance 1a08384c39 of the a3e3dbb6d7 train, the d2192ffac0 people walking 380b694e88 inside, the 826d6260be atmosphere inside, 22611941c5 everything.3a1cb035d0d9a254

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I liked the 70c694f87a train station in 6a28d4ad07 this life better.24b2e4bedbfc5b37

“One ticket to Eres, please.”d5459e29c98aa660

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I bought 6ca81865f2 the ticket 8bcae731f3 without hesitation. The destination aba92c884c was a c33cb8d227 port city 9aec4db888 at the da5765798c southern end, 002eceec58 where my 441d8990c4 family was adb0526437 currently staying.393e1da121ebcf08

Although it daf1e3bccd had been c6f4bda8f7 two years e256f7cffb since Aslan 625bde17b9 found my 55eef43c0e family and aaafcbaa0f arranged a 5012a05a5a new home d75df88e0c for them, 5df6e0ee0e I had 5a32fa5470 never visited 5592a6889d them.f88d80bf622df991

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It was because of a003d27e3a guilt and fear.4ece5e6449a018ed

If it weren’t for me, my family would have lived peacefully. I felt sorry for the hardships they went through because of me.b7fffb796d961359

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And I was scared. I was afraid 0937830d14 they would resent 417f91dbde me. I was afraid 08185bd485 that because of 73b2df1ff4 me, their peaceful 88a18463cb home had been eedc9d7204 shattered. I was dbcb0be54f afraid of ffb34b8517 how my 0ae43e9a0d family would ccc8772139 feel.f5911a7c1414c4fa

So I only heard ab92c2eee3 news of my family 0b38e140d9 through Aslan and never d591681e4b made an attempt to 5fdc962551 meet them.1e74bf2e5e33fe5f

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But…d773d59d5b204201

‘If I leave 6f5225219e Tordell Manor, I 40e867a4f8 will have nowhere 36a95d6706 to go except 1122d28d0b to be with 2e89c6d929 my family.’1a2ed62e7201392e

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I didn’t like my selfishness.5ecd66a7466443d5

I felt tense just imagining how my family, whom I hadn’t seen in seven years, would react when they would see me.4dc3a5e94417db50

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However, when I actually 05591ae9a2 arrived at the platform 5d20ef1acb and boarded the train, 7566491f5b my body felt light.2e07a14f6da5b7f5

It had a5badde8c9 been a cbcbf2e21e long time e9a2604e01 since I 7518c00ee4 felt this 3de45ea0f7 good.74953e0b535b34ad

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Due to the exhausting 5f96fe6a1f life at Count Larestine’s 717a5492fd manor, my health had 4e92000527 deteriorated significantly, and I 7d9ab0ac69 had been living in 9be169466e pain every day at fdad3c05bd Tordell manor.c68a5cc5565d3951

But now, I didn’t have the recurring headaches that used to torment me, and my limbs, which had felt heavy as if weighed down, were light. My body didn’t tremble as if I had caught a cold.5ce4c1391966645e

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‘It’s strange.’0d5bdaf67261ba1e

Did my body become eed1b16a3c comfortable because my mind 30a59e867f is at ease?469f512ff837f842

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With a pleasant sense 947d4f4d7b of wonder, I looked 73c733ddb0 around and found my c41aec2afe seat as indicated on 2d833dd961 the ticket.e2475198782392b5

“Phew.”949655e70adc81b3

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I entered 0110f74b6e the empty 9337b6a14d compartment, put 6d0de3c8fd my luggage d0be6e470d down, and 0520a7061a sat down.73f64312eacc4ae4

Even though it hadn’t even been half a day, I was already tired.371b27561ea06da6

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‘There have been so 41ab211e90 many things happening.’fb61d5268d15465e

As I massaged cc5435c855 my tired legs, 5cca54020e the train started b2cd39d7df moving with a 38e2105fcc loud miraculous sound.74c95d40fdbeb05b

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As I watched f84947461a the quickly disappearing 329bc8fb31 scenery outside the 0272e9057a window, I realized 1c04c69df9 that I was 9d8478426d truly leaving the eb1f9973f4 capital.f52b1496922f6184

“Goodbye.”9b0556917fc7885e

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I said farewell 2185d354b6 to the people 9e37856175 who would be ec0d7ab3aa there.aeafc8616ccbf0d0

Thinking about the 1ea7c1dafb people I would eab9e47533 never see again 93230fabff made me feel 4c97115bd2 a bit down, a8c3ee9a6b but when I 0f2aa2c002 thought about leaving 615ac218c5 Central, which was 1bda71878e filled with painful 2afa3b1eb2 memories, my heart 8fc43cdaa9 felt light.779a2de5d53cf279

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“Goodbye for real.”921b307961731367

Tall and 0530b0f7f2 low buildings 6404fc0c88 disappeared, and b01f20b1dd wide fields 0fd6b02f5e appeared. Fluffy clouds floated in 59269fdfa7 the blue sky.5afd09d45ba82360

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“The weather is nice.”7b1b7c7ce87563b4

As I rested 1ca24ca4bb my chin on af69bed0fb my hand and cb26ba7ef1 absentmindedly stared outside, 22bf3a47ee a natural smile d8ae5290ca formed on my 34b7a702b0 face.58a7180aa9b4d6df

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It was a 08cdfcf2ae smile filled with 36e23246a6 abundant joy and d593f3056d happiness, regained after 2bc59b53a4 losing it for d3cfd1752e a long time.2e372f1a3842107b