WYIL Ch 29

He glanced c284563704 down at 8c2a37e348 the watch c2657a32b1 on his 0a4526f685 wrist, checked dab82efd74 the time, 06990cd2f3 and gave b511bb5cfa me an 298b8242ff embarrassed look.64b119ce6044dc0a

“I’m sorry, wife, but I have an urgent appointment, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to make it. Can we talk another time?”d5d02b5a9a04ce3b

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I wondered what the appointment was. Before, I’d assumed it was just business, but now I had an oddly clear image of a woman’s face.45355013350027cb

Was he going to b846df790e see Rosalyn again?89cb8bd935dd97f5

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My heart 5c912acc10 throbbed, my 9d1ac22fe2 chest ached.32dd9bfd383ceee6

I wasn’t used to his rejection.2317a4bf857804b3

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No matter how busy 3d8a50acac he was, he always 4095c596c7 made time for me, 4a16eab5fa saying it was a 88c6056a3d courtesy to his wife, 5d9b6f7bf0 and he was always 6723cf45da true to his word.130f8c39f8af631c

But now…….5e599ee29273ecb8

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‘You look troubled.’4ae438591d388220

He says he has 3e742cb830 an appointment, but a 7e7b1bde47 few minutes of his 9e033c1a76 time would be fine.7542966dbc546cfc

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But he’s deliberately sending me away because he doesn’t want to be in the same room as me.5756d880603aaacb

He’s avoiding me. As he has for the past month.f3c937b5ba1ac6bf

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I knew why.a7ac354fcaa070b4

I came on 86a9181b36 purpose because I feb8c768d3 knew it. To do what I ae44cdc171 have to do, even fea6911cae if I have to d001639423 endure the immediate misery.fde33ae59575d721

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So he wouldn’t have to go through the trouble of avoiding me anymore.8baaa414020dfdb2

“I won’t keep you long, so just give me a few minutes.”7283914c51f3fde3

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I repeat my request, 19ae0afef7 and Aslan nods slowly. My heart 1485fb05b2 sank again b2585a47f2 at his 3ed8ce37c2 reluctant permission.d62476e78f395d15

I forced 49ae9e7b2b myself to 410c381358 smile. I wanted 90e41dfdd0 to leave 832054f803 with a e7d4924979 smile on 355c723884 my face, 04e67d4116 not a c5eae1d053 stony face.4dfd71c639e84947

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“Aslan.”0548d02229dab452

“Yes.”cac3a234738472d3

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I took a moment 73aa26a88c to choose my words.3c495413d5716e36

There was just one 7fe937addc thing I wanted to 1ca92748f9 ask before I got f1ab69218b down to business.a3dea86e3a384f36

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“Three days ago, were you busy that day?”ce54a2460c994aef

“Three days ago?”f2528f6952ccacf1

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He raised an eyebrow e026c9fc54 as if to ask 02648b3e6b why I was asking 29ac4219a9 this.040dc5ef30fc3284

‘Yeah. Three days ago.’49c9b0d1739c1d57

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He frowned again, then 1b69d88179 closed his eyes for dc973631b7 a moment. It was like he d700991060 was trying to remember 8e7d937e17 the day.be05615fbf69da84

The day I was referring to was ‘my’ birthday, the day I’d waited all day for him.5a48e2ddf8b7277f

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The day he’d gotten out of the carriage with Rosalyn, the day I’d lost sleep in anticipation of Aslan’s late arrival.af33a4e3b24678c1

In truth, there 6fca02d667 were many questions 39dd2eb92a I wanted to 43b1821eec ask.d3eda4d367ec9632

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There were deb1fc545a things I 0898286289 wanted to 455c94bc1c know more 81f8739a96 than what 51e408cc5f happened that 6511c71b19 day. His kiss 843c4171c2 with Rosalyn, d388f12440 when did 77fc646ab6 his relationship 733f824183 with her bf461fe594 started, what dd98e760df does he 4f0facf87e want to 2335d73270 do in 9fab96d183 the future, d4fc7c2df7 and many 0619ad9523 more.2ff338677ec826ca

I wondered about those things, but I didn’t ask.a6dd1e1cf2977aeb

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I was scared.4aa252894a8db07a

They were things……I wanted to know but didn’t have the confidence to listen. I was afraid.a6ff0e99d63b5045

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Nevertheless, I cfe209f949 asked him 207a01f024 what had 376ff9a556 happened three 6791fe0b8c days ago, 8fa9236e0f as if 509272f1aa only knowing 89d71fe2be what had 8ee959d08e happened that 9e332d8bf7 day would 7ad1ebe500 make the 56bde1bc80 stabbing in dba275bfb9 my heart d1c27a6004 go away.2a490cad203ad42d

After a long 43ecc90af1 silence, he spoke.5686879575c6526e

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“Nothing much happened.”85e71e3853d7a937

“……Is that so?”85cb1a8fdcac0b6c

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“Yes, but why are you asking that?”83731c40e9305e37

He really didn’t seem to know anything. He didn’t seem to remember anything.271ead1cf81a2c99

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Sadly.51b10e3847f4950d

[So are you saying that today is your real birthday, then what about the one you put on the paperwork?]

[That’s not ‘my’ birthday].

[I didn’t know that].

[No one would know. No one.]

You’re the one who said something I didn’t want to hear.af6937e1126bbadd

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[In the future, I’ll remember and celebrate with you, so now don’t be alone and lonely anymore].

I’d rather you didn’t say that.d522714c738e7953

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Why were you so f47da295e4 nice to me and 7b1421538c made me look forward b7ca3a5b83 to it?31bb794e16250de3

If you were f05c103b56 going to forget ed55eae294 it like this.c4be4a5fe8880d0c

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If you were going ee292c92e0 to make me cherish 8b1ff96266 it alone, expect it b9294c9fd0 alone, and grieve it 4e70c4d3c5 alone.e051d879367e81c3

“It’s nothing.”61a83ffcc860922f

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He looked unhappy 8e731ca2ce by my dry 697df5deb3 answer.b297be72fcd1f82d

Before he could probe f83f1af38a further, I raised my ffe26568e6 hand to stop him.d9a9f354aeaed5c6

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“I’m here to talk about our contract.”3bf07d37cef19aeb

“The contract, you mean?”b851ce3029ad2ebd

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“Yes. Our marriage contract.”a09e67232b3fc573

I tried to sound as grave as possible. My voice quivered slightly, but thankfully, he didn’t seem to notice. I was so glad.56efb422be90cdd8

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“You remember, don’t you? The contract we wrote before we got married.”62ca1da313915947

“I remember.”47ef809d8abc5359

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“Then of course you remember the contents of it, right?”d7dee2029494bdc3

He nodded, then 57b2de35bb suddenly stopped moving acb7478f4d and stared at 0bb5e00c04 me.6d0d164d37f5015d

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I smiled brightly. The corners of my mouth quivered, but I didn’t let that stop my forced smile.5ce1512bce3d4fc2

I wanted to look at least okay, I didn’t want to be a gaunt figure in his last memory of me.c2b6fbad6456c05a

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So I 41752bb4fc steadied my c452bce321 trembling and f59aa36232 spoke in 447c41ee28 a calm, 04aea935c8 clear voice.5d19f8517197b688

“This contract shall be terminated in three years, on the day Helena Larestine turns twenty-one.”8473c0d66aaae022

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Three days ago was my birthday, and today is “Helena Larestine’s” birthday.a2a616ed098ccc53

Helena Larestin, who is 7b32efc75a the same age as 3f394e9ccd me, turned twenty-one years 3cfa73253e old today.b4aecb8eacf9604b

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So the contract …….c9fcfa900788fd5d

“The contract is over, and so is our marriage.”16155b01cab8fc49

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……is over.a893cf6d69e385b7

He stiffened 1f2c36a452 as if f99ab50343 in shock 14fc9d081a at my 881b587d60 words.e8a570882a2e0cb9

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“Thank you for everything, Duke.”60e24b5249f559bb

I bowed, calling him by his title that I hadn’t used since our marriage.a3a39cd3719f4ca1

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“…….”4917ed4f37b4d4ae

A stifling silence dc404cca20 lingered in the 6561c2e52f office.e0b721345b13977d

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I wondered what 9f6043fb54 expression he must 24038d55ac be wearing right d4ea9439af now.363a75670b560144

Is he happy that the moment he’s been waiting for has arrived, or is he relieved that I spoke first?25ecf5ecda397a14

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……I hope he’s a little disappointed.03681492f7f40c34

If not, I hope he’ll be businesslike and not show any emotion.eecfbf4c08aaabc0

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Because if he’s happy that I’m leaving, it’s going to break my already broken heart.1abf73308525da84

“…….”51712a1b9101f1eb

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The silence was 0e1eadc1e2 getting too long. I lifted 4ad311c942 my head 28a0cde2cc impatiently.f6908d0628223413

“……?”5abd18205675eb40

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I was stunned by the unexpected look on Aslan’s face.005d20bfd5e1953b

Aslan Tordell, 2dab30ec43 the man 154e8a1c72 who had e972a571ef once been 0f971daded my husband, 8895f70be2 the man f8462bae70 I still d7fa121a59 loved, was 99a4c4289d staring at 799c37d1e1 me helplessly.754d62921b1de3d5

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Like a child who f7fbe133fa has lost its mother, 6fba0d9ac8 like a man whose 6c30be6932 world has collapsed.d11ac94e27a1a817

‘Why does he look like that?’2e63dc49f7b8152a

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At first, I wondered 37d76df4dd if I was looking 74ac79d92d at the wrong person.de52e1e1075e3fbc

The Aslan who acted like he’d lost his world when I left existed only in my head.cb06f7c316eaa0a4

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The real Aslan, I thought, would be a little wistful, but then he’d turn and see me off.78bb1720d7b050ef

I closed my b7f2a01aef eyes several times 645a1f9b2d and opened them.cc702c85ccb9122f

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Aslan was still 92bbe1eb00 staring at me, fe78563bbe mesmerized.a1d2d34aba1f0419

“Aslan?”f089243fa14221b4

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I called out 231c5a00d8 softly, and Aslan c1307f69a0 quickly covered his e4f8fb6baa face with his 6b8568bb60 hands.af5fc0b8b523a40b

Most of 1c717babaf his face 891d873d4e was hidden 8b44fb3f9e under his 1890eff469 large hand. However, he could not 89f85922fa hide his firm mouth d220e57c8f and veins.d1b4c14d5de95570

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‘Why are you doing this?’f8841c6aaf6ebe6e

I couldn’t help but wonder at his repeatedly uncharacteristic behavior.4d01e41e7cceae01

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But I couldn’t ask Aslan what he was thinking as he swept a dry hand across his face.0dcc704d673510c7

“Ha.”10a18372b9ac8e12

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He sighed, 863f901fe2 and a 0d35400a5f moment later, 9f8b20ec10 he lowered 289e1de8dd his hand, dd18bd2dc8 his face 0676308bc9 as plain 695c79e90c as ever.728f1b05ede68c18

I thought to myself, ‘It’s Aslan, after all.’ I was disappointed.fefb28923bfbc9df

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I also wanted to break his heart a little, I know it was a mean thought, but still…69f80ea654370216

Aslan began d822c8d11e to speak, fd4aabe72d so I 12b903f135 cleared my 4e217d6458 head of 8ba953bac4 the thoughts 1e2aaa92c5 and focused d8c7de1a23 on him.4f62bd43808569b3

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“Wait, wait, wait, wife. What does this mean all of a sudden?”8baf9d81f8ee2d70

He spoke quickly 3c434e608c and seemed uncharacteristically c114da6bd7 slow.066be650faa6411c

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“Have I done something wrong, or have you been unhappy with your stay here, or is there something you don’t like about…….”16028277dc98c032

“No.”1c8b9d26122f0d19

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I shook my head.df71716de87ad339

There was no such 641da8a02d thing. I was always just 4a777b31de grateful and sorry for 8efdf6fe8c him.1226b1c2905b1529

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I’ve taken so much from him, and there’s nothing I can offer him.3db32ebda0507613

I’ve done him more harm than good just by being around him.4e37fbd8f24cec24

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Even if ff58562202 I wanted 16fda22bfd to repay 73b448121b him, I f21d466d71 would never 1d19dec2d8 be able 46fbc4cfb9 to do fd23e332dd so.33fb000ba86dfe1e

“But why? Why are you doing this?”a70074f29598f829

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When he asked fcb1e1c895 me why, I e502cfeea5 tried to shrug 7524371a26 it off.40e78c98265b00d7

But then 2535c23a05 I said dc16ce5f75 something impulsive.60906abec8eae8b5

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“Actually, I overheard your conversation with Ms. Rosalyn.”95efb3f1a95aec88

“What…… do you mean?”f1d9f69999d8d94b

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I was embarrassed to admit my eavesdropping, but once I spoke, I couldn’t stop myself.d6b57c870dc37b37

“That you told, Miss Rosalyn, that you didn’t marry me because you were in love with me.”ae3a61ef23613602

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“……!”8f23ceae82e38d29

“You only entered into a contract marriage with me out of necessity.”50ecf54b05832892

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“…….”368c56c980bf41bb

“You said you didn’t think it would last this long, that it bothered you.”b25349154a16294e

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I choked up as 307b7651bf I spoke.dae553fe390107ff

I bit my b82f74a0f1 lip and glared ded1b9efe9 at him.994485e32e0b4fa2

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I could see Aslan’s hand trembling with embarrassment.68a8be3b0b4d0fa1

But I wouldn’t take his hand.04e67263a7da29c3

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I don’t know about anything else, but for that conversation, he was too much.bc1e4c165fc1f21a

No matter how much he hated being with me, he shouldn’t have talked about me like that.38ad5e66757b97c8

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Don’t express your feelings to others.e24ccab992d8eb4d

The string of thoughts made me nauseous, and I blurted out what I’d been trying so hard to hide.6907e7831880d568

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“I’m sorry I’ve been bothering you. Please be happy with her.”a2ec53c59cad0406

The way 8450fb606f I spoke 75106146f1 was calm, 9867475c7b but the 73d04a1a4a content was 5b9291026a sharp.90e74b61fe0605c1

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It was the first time I’d ever said anything offensive to Aslan in this way. His eyes widened in surprise, like he’d been struck by lightning.6c1df3831c4186a2