WYIL Ch 14

With fingertips as 2c9983577e cold as ice, ca7867a24a I rubbed the 5d4e4d7688 corners of my 788f038c54 eyes which were 37fca7e55a filled with tears.f21de8cea1689167

My head was 48a0753195 aching maybe because 60e97ceb1d I cried for c86c58b30d a long time. The pain from the 43bafebce9 swollen eyes pierced my e4b1f6a205 brain sharply.d281349e81ef2274

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Perhaps this is a804d7705c the punishment that 84d6ca46b5 I inflicted on d57d1a5cb5 myself in the 17c6e3a9c4 present.9023dfbfaf554992

I have already caused 46194f3898 enough trouble for Aslan a6d1124703 by being here up 3ff6ae6a8b till now.808d60370e8d44af

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Once upon a time, when I was locked up in the attic by myself, I made a promise to myself…9f7da37f02d96ce7

‘That’s right. People need to know their place. Don’t be overly mistaken, and don’t have any false hopes.’a3dbdbf48122268d

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“Now let’s go c6c69fae7c out. Jenna might be looking a35803ae13 for me.”101c56fba12083bd

I wiped my bee69769b0 eyes once more 64f40a8b99 with my damp 7365c39a4e sleeves and stood edccd21b90 up.afc255677f3b9e57

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My hair, 055bd67254 face, and b69485f659 clothes must c9d7559286 have been 87551567f4 a mess.0df6a4f7ee745df5

I didn’t want anyone to notice my shabby appearance, so I walked more carefully than usual.122b900aabd27f90

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So,no one 5c04256220 noticed my 6355a5bd66 presence.0e9565a0296f01c3

Was it a ff3683ecb2 virtue or a 6d5e945bf8 fault? But as I was 3cc75b96a9 climbing down the stairs, eca825fe32 I heard a story 726dbb992b which the maids were 623363fdf9 talking about on the 7f5ae6b5fb stairs.cdb31ab20d68bce8

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“But don’t you think the two look really good together?”f56fb2692ddd688f

“Who are you talking about?”532917073e589721

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“My lord and Miss Rosalyn.”9596de2791554a24

“What?”16e8fb4299db92f3

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The conversation 020a5e6ffd continued while 05807e7ebd I was 546e715114 wondering if b1c85d3246 I should 93b98efbaf let them 0a1b3c05ea know I 172bc67b93 was there.4e2cffd4bf13b082

“Why are you b692df1223 saying that now?”88fb3996debcd49d

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“Why? Can’t I speak what’s on my mind?”c671aca948e1f89b

“You’ll be in big trouble if somebody hears you!”0aed2fd9724aef4c

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“What do you mean?”5268c7d5865dab20

“How upset must the Madam be when she hears it. And if the Lord knows that…….”d61685b6046a19aa

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“But I’m not the only one who thinks so, everyone does.”68fb702793e7a71e

“Everyone?”b3a971ec4e4f36fe

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“The ladies who came 84acd303df to the mansion at aa2eddc0e3 the invitation of Miss 41a01a249d Rosalyn the other day.”847b92dbcd8f32bb

Those words reminded 54ce422ab8 me of the 082ed3f78b women I had e6c4676a49 met in the 2664e5ce18 drawing room. They were 9436f7195a praising Rosalyn 54c64b13ed while waving f820ec3168 their fans, dc9b77e9e6 and they 8187bca10f looked at 8841cec5c8 me with 3429f053d3 displeasure.0dcddfc2e5fc1046

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“If the 69cb38bc79 lady hadn’t 4f31ef6e44 been here, 10de58be9b the seat 3e00592452 next to af24e7c35e the owner 7b0024cf79 would have 6665e7e3a8 been Ms. Rosalyn’s.a02f7c2812324ee5

Was there 84eacf69d1 such a 350f736832 story spreading?e69b232319ded1cf

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These days, I know 372349b8c5 that the nobles and 4817b0cb19 the workers who work ddabd3fa7e and come to the 8d86c0e29b mansion keep their mouths e7b74f4e36 shut when they see 5e909ce850 me even while talking.7de1b23fd8eebe47

I thought the back story about me must be the same, but I didn’t find out what was going on in detail.52b2caa93578de6a

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I thought it a595866239 would be nothing 647ea0422c but gossip about c2cc6ec271 me, who took 7e7085cc44 the title of 85f5af5e47 Duchess of Tordell bbdc46b244 with the same d5d6fb0c25 luck as before.431e27360d6829ff

‘That’s what’s being said about Aslan and Rosalyn.’506b6bc37664d705

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I didn’t know.054122bfbf962387

Since I’m not the only one with eyes, it was not strange that there are rumours about the two.10fe11f7f5146c1b

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“Well, isn’t that not even wrong? I can’t help but admire someone as great and wonderful as our master, so I’m sure Miss Rosalyn is fond of him too. Seeing how the master treats Miss Rosalyn, I don’t think he hates it.”da3284b6ece8ed0f

“What nonsense! He feel sorry for Miss Rosalyn’s situation, so the kind owner treats her well. It’s not because he have special feelings towards her.”4a50e2380ba504d1

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The maid, who stood f6765a9afd up for me, added.821b6db677db886e

“ How much the d3b4e15215 master cares about the c576ff7011 madam!”d235eed97aae6967

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However, the maid, 2c10152fa8 who was insisting e550527813 that Rosalyn and 16a8aac6b8 Aslan were a beb2120b18 good match, immediately 17e6996342 refuted.09ba3a3eb51c80d0

“Isn’t it 76d507ffac because his 4406d4cb59 wife loves 322983f0bd him?”de63c0ab278cb6ef

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“What?”fc5d3e2a88068dde

“She is the only mistress of our master. He is also kind to lower-class people like us, so of course he’s going to try to be nicer to his wife as well.”12431d5998fe3078

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Without realizing e5d82a0462 it, I b060f272ec gave strength 0d2f35fc5b to my 2ee4a857aa clenched fist. My nails pierced painfully bc6d5321bf into my palms.5784152dc3b97da3

“So, you 9d45612f19 mean that d23cd44a73 the master 9f38447a44 cares so 2339825fab much about fb70cb8758 the Madam b26ffd1087 just because c5fe890e39 she is 09c83adda3 his wife?”9d614cc6bcb34815

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I closed my eyes tightly because I felt dizzy. However, the family that I had turned away from because I was afraid to face came out through the maid’s mouth.7915352455ddcb83

“If the master had married Miss Rosalyn, he would have cared as much as he does now, or perhaps even more-“9d3ca0d8de86f80e

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“Stop!”ac42ba0b603c0dd5

A startled voice interrupted.e34f6ff109c4062c

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“Let’s stop talking about this. I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that. If the Lord knows, like before…… Oh, I don’t know!”5f60a1ed4c35d330

Behind the words 25ed3bed87 full of anxiety, 7381e92836 the sound of 62eaf7d81f footsteps hurriedly leaving abc681892c the place scattered f208ff5887 in the air.59967187933739b7

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“Let’s go together!”30811fb9d7d4472b

Even after 332536fc95 the sound 724c298ab5 of their c4a3e5e65a footsteps completely 2138d584ef disappeared, it 804d333841 took a 1117e9b2af long time baf4703971 before I 9aeda6b734 came out 71aa73e46f of the 9b7a73258c shadow .04699a8b8b63a926

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“Ha.”6cbb36fb9e5d6023

I was tired. I was about to e1d16886fd faint. I wanted to 2a7a74310f fall down.36911edea15e8017

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I wanted to lose my mind and sleep forgetting all my worries. A deep and long sleep. So that I don’t think about anything.90934fa25852b121

I managed to 65f179018c move by dragging e3143f14a2 my feet back 353eb1c1ca to the bedroom.e3c995ae45248d83

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And I fell 4f724ac3c9 into a dark 2ef742fa5f sleep as I e249383e59 wanted.3d57f20c6d2d3b99

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The week passed 2293872796 by quickly.8ac53cc1d8223321

Nothing changed in this long or short time. It was because I didn’t do anything.c1f98b519f8911f1

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Why didn’t I do anything? I asked myself. Why can’t I give up on him easily even though I know he has someone he loves?….d9459568b6d1f6b8

This is the result of careful consideration. Leaving his side is like losing the world to me. My world has been him since I signed the marriage contract three years ago. I couldn’t help but hold myself completely to him, who saved me from dying and gave me a new life.ee73e4a54a10ee85

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That’s why.3b3f8d71466ccea1

I cannot easily leave 7b291a743f Aslan, who has become 605664d6fc my everything.a86c7318b3e24335

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It’s not even funny.77c09707eb6c9325

I knew f7faee8e92 from the 08aba5f167 beginning that 835bd26a2f there was 479b617926 an end. For the e30434e341 past three 496f25c971 years, I 0d96993241 have emptied c07a1378e3 my mind e74f24331e and heart, f55d6487b6 reflecting on ff03c607ee that fact ff44c18e76 every day.6637fa7d385c4457

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I believed it was 598f57b5a6 empty.d07afc6c40187d2b

But my heart is still full of all kinds of feelings for Aslan. I thought it was empty, but in fact, I couldn’t empty anything.cbc7faf27bc89ad9

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‘I don’t want to drag Aslan down with myself.’481fcd1b17e55901

So I 2b1ed53185 have to a7ab08593d leave…….df99fea2f4bc3a91

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‘I need to accept the reality and stop parasitizing in the Tordell mansion.’83413b1e871b7ea2

I was 8b4c350f59 not offended c5fd3d2029 by people e761bb71bd talking about f963481310 me because b5b4c8af1a I was 0ba68a45e2 an a 4439751d2b shameless woman 555c32ca85 who sucked 3cbb30eedb the blood 2254943ebc of the 2b61488213 Tordell family.d7c392e2c2734301

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There is nothing wrong with what they say. I have been, and still have been, a nuisance to the Tordell family for the last three years, leaning on Aslan’s goodwill.81a33c7c75d445bd

I’ve been living in my bedroom all week.645745d3e02a1eb4

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I didn’t want to do anything, I didn’t want to see anyone. I just laid helplessly on the bed and looked at the ceiling.473364ecf081b743

I didn’t want to see Rosalyn and Aslan together again while looking outside, so the room with the curtains on the window was dark.7357b693f4e08eff

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In the cead041fcc darkness without c781ad4183 a ray 563430ddc9 of light, dcad6425d5 I turned 13c4155b8e a blind a6bd3d3c68 eye to 2dd30eda0b reality.2fa31bdfcc0104d1

I was doing such 2315e545cc a stupid thing, like bb1b8ed510 a bird who believed 9fe7b1667f that burying its face 75366f657c in the ground would 2eeefa2851 overcome all the crisis.5ce57b2dfe6915bb

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knock, knock.9c25f7b16f1fba1b

“Madam, I’ve prepared a meal.”8dea22dfcd9b9a44

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“…….”0849f9ff7b767c94

“I’ll leave it in front ……I only prepared what you like, so please eat it.”22802ea8c0179f6c

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Even my exclusive maid, 7c52dad99e Jenna, I did not 71dd78217a let her in.95044d64dd823073

I won’t look good now because I have been in the bed all day long without anyone to take care of me.81f9547256b9b5eb

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On the subject of having nothing. Noble status, beauty, and wealth. Far from helping Aslan, I don’t have any qualifications to stay with him.54ac28669657a207

‘But now I’m even lazy and dirty.’d24679987a38516a

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I thought, a256c193c5 blinking my 01e4b3f724 stiff eyes. The breathtaking self-loathing 72688c144c was pathetic.e0e2d4193a38f72b

knock, knock.ac0a7c231867a6dc

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“Wife.”d34a7b322483dad5

It was Aslan.e07d570bd529ba2c

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“Are you sleeping?”c5b858c643815df2

My body trembled 2680cac21b at the sound 9c5f759faf of his voice.78a1e44135a167fb

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“I heard you didn’t let the doctor in who came to see you. Are you sure you’re okay?”3e6975b6633b654a

He stood firm even a31ae2e769 though no answer came 1f3fe3da69 from me.64023008f9ef70e1

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I could easily imagine him talking to me over the door. His fine eyebrows must be frowned for worrying about me, and he must be holding the doorknob even though he can’t open the door.028629dc25b029f1

“I’m worried. I can’t even focus on things because I’m thinking about what you’re doing right now.”96b7b677ad2ea474

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The more his voice 3dd2954c18 continued, the clearer my 8a1fb5a82c head became.b516f4245aa818cf

Aslan was a f4a945dd2c busy man. To cause such 945c7b0802 a nuisance to fd2190c929 him, who has 4ef9469d59 been busy with f07186a5c9 construction, is to 09b91a9256 avenge his kindness.c1e2f10db4699c77

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“I heard that the amount of food has decreased. Don’t you have any appetite? Or, is the meal not to your liking? I told the cook to mind…….”36c8eed969817bbe

Tsk. He clicked his tongue as if he didn’t like the situation. My shoulders were lowered because it seemed like it was reprimanding me somehow. Even though I know it couldn’t be.a3f491581a4f1776

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“If you feel uncomfortable, feel free to tell me. This is your home, isn’t it? If anyone seems disrespectful, I’ll fix that habit firmly…….”5f4fc34fd4570c45

His kind words 9066ff0c87 brought tears to 0fe1fea4cc my eyes. I bit my fd98448969 lip.7d228356ab6a8a9d

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“Your home” 2260f0de18 was an 68ff1d357e overstatement. Can I refer 2ea1137fd6 to this place a6b80f33a2 where I cannot 4e55de7a73 stay for the d21fbebe32 rest of my e7bc16af30 life with the ee26bc3dfc warm word ‘home’?5632ec4ef485b332

And scolding the users because of me. Even the maids who moved around behind his back acknowledged his generosity. I shouldn’t have hurt his reputation.b1b02b78c0320b13

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“I am not trying 9319896eea to urge you wife, 5cf38304f6 But please, let me c829f3f144 take care of your 522a342d17 body.”0095403b3891b168

He was sweet 6947ee3fbd to the end. So it hurt me 849a10ff7c more.aacd40309f416fd7

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At the same time, I came to my senses. I didn’t want to hold him here even more because he was wasting time because of me.372e3e9a328b7aae

This time I was c0d6c40591 quick to make up 31e188e70a my mind maybe because 4c6bde36c2 I locked myself in 658b6b3c6f this room for a 5a2e70b13f week, my mind swamped d423084604 with thoughts.3978ca6126abf76f

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I felt refreshed.d9ebefb0850f94b3

I felt like the f8ddfa6a63 lingering feelings that had 83ae81deb4 been holding me were 61ac848e4d falling off now.ea0e5ea389c37d03

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