UBC Ch9

“Uh, uhh,” I said, my words half-formed, and cast my gaze toward the man. As my attention, which had ceased resisting, shifted elsewhere, the tutor also looked back. A long shadow passing behind the car erased the tutor’s expression.

“Do you know him?”

A black plastic bag was tied to the wrist of the walking man. The man, wearing slippers similar to mine, roamed the night road with a strangely relaxed gait. There was no way a man who acted as if he had no interest in the world would help me.

It was just that the appearance of the man who troubled my mind several times a day was sudden and surprising. The tutor, who had said himself that he had a lot of dating experience, looked back and forth between the man and me. His eyes narrowed as if he didn’t expect a young man like him to be in Chowa-ri. Because I didn’t bother to hide that I knew him, the tutor’s suspicion came to light.

“If you do more, I’ll call the police.”

“What?”

I tried to divert the tutor’s attention, but he emerged as the next problem. It would be easy to recognize me since he was under the headlights. The man, who had been heading toward the side of the rice paddies, stopped abruptly.

“What is this? That guy.”

The tutor’s shoulders shrank at the attention of the stranger who even changed the direction of his feet. As the tutor, head bowed, began to shake his legs, I quietly nodded toward the man. It meant to leave without getting involved.

I didn’t want two men fighting and becoming the talk of the town. What I was worried about was the news getting to my sharp-eared aunt and mom, rather than my reputation. If I could just get away from the tutor and lock the front gate of the house, everything would be peaceful.

The man, who didn’t seem to have any intention of interfering rashly, soon went on his way. As the man entered the dark country road, the tutor rummaged through his pockets. He took out a white pack of cigarettes and lit a lighter with a practiced hand.

I lost what little respect I had for the tutor, who didn’t care about the health of a minor like me, because of his smoking. As I turned around without hesitation, the tutor spoke to my back.

“Then let’s just date for a week.”

Just as I was about to gag at the repetitive argument, the figure walking from afar gradually became clearer.

Both I, who had been turning my back, and the tutor, who had been making up nonsense on the spot, froze for a moment.

The man, who had passed in front of the bus stop at a leisurely pace, looked at me with a surprised expression, and at the tutor behind me. Although he was wearing comfortable T-shirts, the tutor didn’t make a sound, perhaps because of the pressure from the height difference. I was very worried because I didn’t know the man’s intention in going around the road. At that moment, the man spoke to me as friendly as if we had seen each other yesterday.

“Do you need help?”

The man’s voice, as if he would turn away without regret if I said no, flowed through the night air. What should I call this? Gratitude, or discomfort. The man, who felt like he would scoff no matter who died next to him, was asking if I needed help.

Judging by the corners of his mouth rising to the sky, he put weight on the ‘happy’ side. I gave a faint smile, hoping it would be a substitute for an answer. It was a situation where my face was stiff and it was hard to tell whether I was crying or laughing. The man slowly approached and stood next to me.

The gaze that had been on both of us narrowed to one person. A different energy flowed in his eyes, which had been blurry as if he had no motivation in everything. Even I, who thought I knew the man’s personality to some extent, felt a chill down my spine. The tutor swallowed hard at the gaze that only looked at him without a word.

“Excuse me, are you Ji-eon’s cousin?”

The tutor, who had been full of energy when he was far away, was moving away on his own, one step at a time. The man, who ignored the tutor’s question about whether he was a cousin, only turned his head from side to side. His eyes, looking at the air as if searching for something, soon returned to their original position. His deepened smile felt all the more dangerous. The tutor must have felt the same thing, as he took a step back little by little.

“There aren’t many eyes here.”

“What?”

“Where do you live?”

Even though the man asked in a plain tone, the tutor bowed his head, said goodbye, and left. He ran with his fists clenched and opened the car door. Through the transparent front glass, I could see the tutor’s shoulders heaving. It was the tutor’s departure that I would never see again. It was a car that muttered that if I had known he was so timid, I would have reported him a long time ago.

“8328, 8328, 8328…”

When I turned my gaze, there was a man unexpectedly reciting a four-digit number. With a squeak, the tutor backed the car out and stepped on the accelerator onto the road. I wondered if there was a need to be so scared, so I carefully examined the man’s attire, and the object sticking out over the black plastic bag caught my eye. It was a bag containing tools such as a hammer or pliers. He had unintentionally threatened the tutor.

I looked at his face, which had lost all emotion again, and also saw the number on the back of the departing car. The man was memorizing the car number that the tutor had taken. It was the timing to thank the man for not passing by and coming back. My pursed lips reluctantly postponed the words of gratitude. My heart fluttered at the man’s unusual reaction, but then hesitated.

The gaze that had been chasing the fleeing car fell only after the sound of the car could no longer be heard. Knowing it was thanks to the man, I felt both gratitude and chills at the same time, and wavered.

The man must have known the other person’s feelings, but he didn’t care. He just made eye contact with me, then turned around and went his way. On the contrary, I would have been wary if the man had readily spoken to me. My conscience wavered because he was avoiding the situation so that I wouldn’t be uncomfortable.

“Excuse me.”

The man, who didn’t answer even when I called him, kept walking, even though he should have looked back at least once. He turned into a side road where the streetlights were meaningless, widening the distance between the man and me. Wearing slippers without a back heel that would fall off if I wasn’t careful, I went on a chase.

“Excuse me!”

The man, who was the king of unexpectedness, suddenly rummaged through the black plastic bag he was holding. I walked faster and followed him down the side road. The man teased me by slowing down and speeding up his pace as if he were luring me.

Fine sweat flowed and formed on the tip of my nose. I knew that he was heading towards the man’s house. What on earth did I want to talk about with the man when I caught him? My flimsy slippers, which had no plan, no thought, and only impulse, ended up standing next to the man.

“Umm…”

As if he knew I was coming, the man took something out of the black plastic bag. Watermelon-flavored ice cream, the one Eui-joo used to like. Memories that I thought had faded like this were catching me again. The man chuckled as he looked at me, who was silent at the sight of the ice cream.

“Kang Eui-joo used to like this, right?”

“…You know him.”

“You’re such a fool.”

Then the man handed me the watermelon ice cream and took out a new ice cream and put it in his mouth. I couldn’t say a word of criticism to him, who somehow looked annoying. Because his voice, mocking me as a fool, didn’t contain sincerity. While we were sharing the ice cream, the man’s feet, tired from the heat, crossed the threshold of the gate. He went inside, leaving the door open on purpose.

The open door and the melting ice cream. It looked like bait clearly placed for me, but the man’s relaxedness, which seemed to have no thoughts, broke down my suspicion.

He was always like that. When I came to my senses, I was caught up in the man’s free wind. I came to the front gate, but I was worried about whether to follow the man and cross the threshold.

The lights in the man’s house turned on, casting a silk-like light on the dark alley. The man, who turned on the light in the main room, sat comfortably with one leg out and ate ice cream. Then he turned on the fan. He lay down on the table that had been left out and read a book. I was worried because I wondered if he could read it properly.

I couldn’t be sure what changed my mind, which had only been drawing lines. Was it the common light bulb, the summer breeze touching the back of my hand, or the scene of turning the pages once every second? Anyway, I jumped over the gate of someone else’s house and went inside. The man, who was engrossed in reading with an empty ice cream stick in his mouth, also raised his head around that time.

“All I have to do is pass the GED.”

The rotating fan happened to blow the man’s bangs. His forehead was revealed, and his beautiful face and the shape of his nose were even more noticeable. The man didn’t say anything even when he saw me stuck to the gate.

Just when the neck of the fan that had turned in the opposite direction looked like it was bent, his quiet lips opened.

“It would be nice to help.”

The man’s house, where he had only replaced one light bulb, looked as cozy as before.

I was a little happy.