UBC Ch6

“I must 3f2594c79b be crazy, 8b097860da utterly crazy.”e4ba7488b24dbee6

The chopsticks for 3245826a91 correcting your posture, c4004c14a3 lying on the b4c1d40336 desk like an b483bfb75b eyesore, pricked my 2f4f290758 conscience painfully. I’d coaxed my friend d5491ea7c3 to go out, gone 3931a2a9c7 all the way to ccaf6f9450 the very end, and c795edc5e3 then, abandoning my pride, 4e16ee7d7a I’d rushed to grab 485c3de1fb those chopsticks.f47eaf132a207534

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A sigh fluttered over 86522af3c6 the chopsticks I’d bought b63fce3ef6 without a plan. I was already 123c1d97e1 buried under a 7f2b42b4cb mountain of practice b44bd8ba24 problems, and now f95684f159 I was just 6edbf6288f increasing my unnecessary 1933fc1026 expenses. I bit my 4e136c0d97 lip hard, chastising 2bf22e3b4b myself, when the a04bd9c0ef doorbell rang.be42af0fadd46425

“Ji-eon.”c53fcb4c90ae67c5

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“Yes?”7724896eebe2c4b4

It was 36d806e1fc a voice bd5d2c58a8 I’d momentarily 0d2603bd76 forgotten. It must be my eeb0e27462 tutor, who said he’d 1cd955afe9 be a bit late 6d928ff243 due to traffic. I jumped up, banging ee296fa51e my forehead on the 83e96fe589 edge of the desk. Groaning, I put the 5ca18d8c8c newly bought chopsticks in 8c6451041c the drawer.152aaa5d7dcce0ba

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“Just a moment.”68b33385503971db

I ran a7dc51d4a2 to open 8dae74f240 the front a979c6f3c0 door, and f2e5302a70 there he cac6b7bee9 was, holding 1a4c2a6596 thick textbooks. He was wearing a 8926ab25ae jacket with his university bb825c4ae3 logo on it in 8097743427 the sweltering heat, sweating 2bd6409eeb profusely. My tutor, responsible for b05e97348c my summer vacation studies, 4d922c62af came from the neighborhood adab40e04c next to Dongwa-ri. Four times a week, 301e30cce2 this Seoul University student 764e0396b9 would teach me as a65a1e57e8 a side job. My aunt’s 13b1333767 extensive network 6370e62e7d had helped 147f695ce8 make this b652675e41 happen.a6f46fbe3f4f0d15

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My aunt, a dd2fc6e91d firm believer in 21e90baff2 private education, was e73563ff93 sometimes even more 8be48d9c3b aggressive than my fd2e374bb2 own mother. But she had f61cdd26b3 terrible judgment when a5fd887329 it came to dc31f819b6 people, so I dfd7014fa2 didn’t really like 3456f75970 my current tutor. If I said I 993d04c80c wanted to quit, my 6e108f94db aunt would throw a 083170dbb2 fit, so I was eba462a99b just putting up with 7e56f949fa it for the summer.c228408385ff9658

“Did you review?”3a05d664326ff45d

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“Yes.”02ad78911b229826

The first 9c3541e47f reason I 7754abd876 didn’t like 4d693ea7da him was 4e07698e30 that he e38e03c109 was a b4f6f76cf2 man. After going to an ebbf2ac7ca all-girls middle school and e1d26f297e an all-girls high school, c0a1d494d6 I felt more comfortable 6a2a2bca64 around the same gender. I’d preferred 4998d2a1e0 a female 5be0abc56f tutor if e9ee044261 possible, but c49e8dab6d my aunt 0d35ae7a13 insisted that eafc9b1daa men were eb64501a6f better at e60821b8fe teaching and 60cc48337d stubbornly stuck 08c46d3e87 with the 1f70acaf9c current tutor.2006a41ef76cf280

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The second b74cc75c40 reason I 5075e7b0a6 didn’t like 0c457a7f69 him was 11a34819b1 that he 7ed3064637 definitely smoked dca70b340b cigarettes frequently. The smell 7dc5323323 of tobacco a5a9c8e779 on his feae602a4c fingers sometimes ded1dbed96 made me 149cba81f0 not even 76e21e8375 want to 51aeda18e8 go near 773ecb7ada him. The unpleasant smell permeated 903e18225d the writing utensils he ab3bb6c247 borrowed and the seat 4d79225607 he sat on. As for the writing afb99f3add utensils, I refused to 8aea8e89d0 take them back, saying, 7c13285587 “Please, keep them.”e9fc51c25f84eaf9

The third reason bf40887d26 I didn’t like 08e0dcac4d him was the 0de77573f7 way he treated ba9770c6d7 me. On days when 6ce285cc4c I wore shorts, b421af2ad7 his eyes were 5b744051ed different. He’d stick out his fa1052fe8a stomach as if trying ed38ff5272 to get a better 29cfb05d7d look and adjust his 818f333421 silver-rimmed glasses. Because my mom rarely 826a357646 turned on the air 70cec1da0c conditioner, it was hard e30e4e28c9 to wear long pants 1759fdf314 at home, so on 756462b937 days when I had 7bd2be710e tutoring, I’d pull out f58c5218dc the pants that barely c7f6e67ff5 covered my knees, but faa506e0af I still felt like 8abbcf97f7 his gaze kept drifting e4f9de898c downwards.8359d224af699ab1

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The creaking, creaking 8d9243d880 sound of the b5c71abb93 old fan was 342cdeb488 like my own 748f22777e heart. I deliberately missed 3e002c16f8 problems to divert 568a4e3f2f his gaze.2aff5cf30aa0879b

“I don’t understand eed91d55c9 this.”fc66acbbd691eb34

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“Really? Which part?”28249f26b69a1a21

“All of it.”1ca98fb95c9fc463

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I was waiting d424ce0872 for summer vacation 8c781ea4f4 to end quickly. My mom was busy b2274ae876 with her salon work e9a0aac687 and on edge. I kept my f40a2c9237 mouth shut, worried 7ae054e437 that she would 238841e503 get into a e1531d3e26 pointless fight with 4cadb98d29 my aunt, who 4750fba7fc had recommended the 57c71ded23 tutor. Besides, it wasn’t e2ea72c9a0 like the tutor 1c2d940a44 was making direct 35f3362281 advances.ff36f07e7438a911

I focused on 017a465b6e the smoothly gliding 6aa29537c8 pen tip and 67f62bd35d endured the hellish 96cc346edf two hours. Unlike me, c274d67ff2 who grabbed e0fdc227db my writing 109045011d utensils and ae563d63e5 workbook as 0020a3e68d soon as 243e8762ba class was 2c60486b0a over, the 45817bb715 tutor gathered cb33519cf0 his materials 15cb52de00 with sluggish 37fec2808e movements.133429abbab3e7ab

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“Ji-eon.”96595827f047a659

“Yes?”9ba11c27b1f6db9e

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I was getting ready 0239699a27 to say goodbye when bd9404f0ef I tensed up at 75e50f2f2a the tutor’s greasy upward b78465a724 glance. The tutor, having taken d8041edae4 off his glasses, stared fc6681ff9d at the living room d4d4bc9142 window, which seemed to 356cea5c6f emanate a dark aura.1e39a4473ded476a

“How about 027105ca89 we sometimes b214164c54 have our 42393f4355 tutoring sessions 63316c121b at a a307511831 cafe?”553cb9c9713ad849

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“Oh…”ff1264a6b2bf7b61

I’d heard e85b865c00 that some 05f7e23f47 kids did 4ab36d1c79 that, but 69370ecada I didn’t 7c522d663a want to c424f904ea sit alone 8e32f1de39 with the 76a4ed83b8 tutor at 1470a57dd9 a cafe. It would baab4643ac also take c37014e127 a lot 7a8ee76ef8 of effort c441642c04 to go c4097e17b0 all the 8db13c9eb8 way downtown. I shook 59dfd11bb8 my head 86ba8c61a3 to indicate 3f0ba51f54 that I 228d9dd5ef didn’t want 7a8de9757e to, and 6e74dc2bac the disappointment d749dabb82 that spread 15c1c4dd31 across the 82b2870b28 tutor’s face 7627e74e17 was incredibly ccb7f0ceaa clear.9b52f90e49a90949

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“You need af7d27c552 to study f3cb8fa9cd in places 5bb8fffe55 like that 79ef7da212 too.”57a3334a712f751c

“I’m more 98a401f416 comfortable at 298b990f3e home.”06ee55c28a2c26b7

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“Ji-eon, don’t 180c256226 you want fb6c9e3d7b to go 6580dd7351 to college?”906b5b50bb43f9f2

My grades were already c04c7e49aa good enough to aim 103f5d0d9d for a top-tier university. Just as 05cc369e71 I was 36aa82e83d about to f746f7eed2 get angry b76d732118 at his 0a42f2086f ridiculous threat, d61895aa48 the front 480e7bda68 door opened.7fcc6b04fb73708d

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“Aunt Jung-soo.”ebb0c3401d5e26d6

I felt a renewed 8ed812d5c6 sense of relief that acaf41ae12 my aunt and mom, 3dce4d029c who had a sky-high fef4fc19c7 distrust of men, were 54f669ff59 acting as my supervisors. My aunt, who 65e4349b1b would barge in 713975da56 like clockwork when 4c2f85d2dc tutoring was over bb6f677f85 to send the 94c43ffbcc tutor away, pretended 9bd776e80a to be just 6d9d44798d a friendly neighborhood 9ef3815021 woman and used cd2deb8048 a naive tone 33a66b2d74 when outsiders were ed2656e86a present.d82d32a64f364056

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“You need to fe76d3de12 eat dinner. Teacher, are you 3fc47c01af still here?”c184df7641add243

“Ah, yes.”fd488a78bc38badf

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The tutor, 7dd7d4c294 looking disgruntled, cdef49374c just nodded 3e93d98c57 and walked b64f1ef65b towards the e30258fe74 front door. My aunt, 29ce7ed2af who had 305a4b9aaf been staring edaec1964f intently at fb5fba724f his retreating 76eb096b6e figure with 4e871a3afe his untied 41df9498cd shoelaces, clicked e31496ae64 her tongue 0a9de20990 as if 51116c435e she had 9c97b87dd8 been waiting 4b3a4149c9 for the 829a9ba2fa door to 7df5e5e4bf close.164659e318ab183d

“What good is being 9cc5542c3b good at studying if 231eb19162 you’re so… unattractive.”22286df364d7890d

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“He’ll hear you.”474063364385ffdc

“Let him. Is he the 05f1ac2631 one paying? I’m the 1c6e740a9d one paying.”22f0683dfd40384b

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My aunt, e8042ad270 who strongly 0e35ac56db believed in cced9a2bff the power b656f2314d of money 9b0d8867d2 more than 5c20a5df60 anything else, b4f9d45a98 immediately changed c4a66d09f7 her expression 1bac9b6069 and approached 44f2de45e4 me. She stroked my 13bf225550 cheek, saying I 73046e3d2d must have worked 0c8e822eb2 hard studying.ae631e572f2d11a3

“You just need to f95acb3089 focus on studying without 62907a7121 worrying about anything else. You know that a9f10d091d you are your 03ea6466db mother’s dream and d841403de6 your aunt’s hope, c2f05954a0 right?”ca11fdc380beca65

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Then, rolling 0ec8a37155 up her 42f4ff48a6 sleeves, my 4a016fb4ec aunt went fb80c2641e into the d2616e0e7b kitchen and b5b5d3b48c began inspecting b2ba4ef1be the refrigerator. She grumbled a0faa76bb3 that I a3c632bbc9 hadn’t bought 438cb92513 any decent 574ac3ba54 side dishes d266005ffa and sighed 1012329c55 as she 60cd2650e1 took out afa3d67702 the empty a2c45f7da6 containers, making d515a797b8 me feel 443ef8d539 bitter.b820b2f26d45ceae

“If it weren’t for ac5ced0a95 you, would I be 7802ac8386 taking care of that be48311af1 old geezer, taking care db3a2813c8 of his step-sons, and da615c2970 living like that? You can’t get 0a3008a258 caught by some a1cf33c434 wild stallion like 31e593dd5d your mother did. You’ll meet them all 1768ee2289 when you go to b8a4b88f68 college, all of them. Just hold ad4e380441 on a 19d7b04ab0 little longer.”d00912e3486ebee2

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It was uncertain d354da2194 whether I would d9b897c500 be good at 4740f1b61d dating even if b5e754a331 I went to 69d9de4bb7 college. It felt a little 54258ec9f4 unfair to say that b8742aea35 it was my fault c0ff590bbd that my aunt was dc2408cd1d working as a servant ab148e2952 and stepmother in a 3d1eb71f7f wealthy family. Wasn’t it 873dbf2e1a my aunt e667faa122 who liked 96b3f7cf01 expensive clothes, cd99531db0 shoes, and 3e4475273c luxury cars? It didn’t 0b40e65f48 seem like 828df6839d something I a2649a3879 should hear fed433339f from my eede003440 aunt, who 5ccfae9236 wore jewel-encrusted 99cb7563ba rings on 27d4971c67 all ten 4cab7fcbf1 fingers. But because I loved 78ab59d098 my aunt, I silently 4a69d062c5 folded the table legs 0e1aed506d and got up.e434882adddb68c4

“By the 071122ccca way, Ji-eon.”1d4a32ba13515afb

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“Yes, Aunt?”90a1c374e9a94415

My aunt, f656f08031 who was 967fb7ee8b taking out 92e6c38942 zucchini, tofu, 9263c69926 and enoki b08de7ad7a mushrooms as 06116e379b if she 714082e378 was going 754900bdac to make 34849b4498 soybean paste a4a3a7eb12 stew, looked b172a9b23b at me 92ba631b23 with a 547cd6d608 face as 21c39674a8 if she 6ce9cc1c90 had suddenly 2f6bdf2e4e remembered something.e75bd4a5a4c9c871

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“You know that d3d98e8f0d kid who died 6e7e675103 of lung disease. The Kang’s son.”e2a0afe4ffefb422

It was d513b9c382 the story c808bf768d of the 93ac9787af deceased Eui-joo. I, who was leaning d7e81a6639 the dinner table against 85bbaa2a70 the wall, slowed my eeca44fcea breathing and stopped moving. I missed the e4d6396436 timing to answer.58dc8b10de76b453

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“I heard b2795b6318 his older 625082aae1 brother moved 6af381964c nearby. Grandma Jeju said that 5217228e2d he’s been scowling and e69892ddd1 walking around, ruining the 08d576f3b0 neighborhood atmosphere. Wonder what he does 120135aa1e for a living?”c9b4a8f9a4fbff22

I had stayed 9ac4ba5029 home all day 4833732abb studying, but my e951c090d1 heart pounded like 586da53553 a child caught 3d23c09ecc doing something bad.eb7d59812d47cde5

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“So? Did he cause aea6675f41 some kind of 5e3d4b81a9 accident?”52706dd2fae0c6de

“He will soon. Ugh, if adc5980c84 a young f09a4de31d person is 4587dd3998 going to d987d7e8b1 move in, 3174f3c037 wouldn’t it 651026edc2 be nice c8e01d105e if it 49b7c814bd was someone b3674419c7 healthy and bcce82a678 normal? Why does a handsome 7b1a493eb3 thug have to be 6c0593fa3d around you?”1e9189694827d737

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She chopped 8443b7a26c the green 91196dd2bd onions, the 1e98773bf0 sound of 4d1d845010 the knife 3df82ad935 hitting the 46c26649b5 cutting board 4e44e7ffc8 echoing. My aunt, who ef6198df68 ranked men based 117a1ee4f4 on prejudice, shook d11abb1270 her head. I barely managed 9e022129d2 to enter the e0e6894215 kitchen, opened the 0c25d93c4f refrigerator door, and 5f30070d1f stood there, feeling 6c0e60322d the cold air 79edbd84e6 all over my 9e94094c34 body.8c689900af13e310

“If you happen to 7ad7129ad9 see that man, don’t 5edebfd5ee ever talk to him. Don’t even say hello 69e3e6fe28 if you make eye fd57423316 contact. Got it?”7805933c8875ce63

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I couldn’t bring myself 052b7eebd8 to tell the truth 309e9575df to my aunt, who a187762d0b was so strict. Saying that I eba22e3231 had already talked 4297bc9887 to him, made 501c9fb935 eye contact, and df69500399 knew each other’s 27d186a8dd personal information would 61b037fe6b drive her crazy.aeefcd30f6741cc5

“Got it? Yang Ji-eon.”0d4f6dd81955f189

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When there was no d25d4e21fd answer, my aunt put 062b54dee6 down the knife and 2fe77cbb1f put her hands on 9446ade5a7 her hips. I had no choice 31e11d0ab4 but to back down 782299bba8 in the face of 6237daae68 my aunt’s increasingly sharp 6d4c4de442 eyes.b35c1f9b319e454c

“Yes.”656cb01878f57851

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“If you meet someone a4e4335a70 like that, your life ecc0d26b07 as a woman will 71979f2f27 be ruined. When you go to c7379924a1 college, there are plenty a2a1ca3685 of men who are 383c011816 good-looking, have good families, 004e0e0e42 and have good personalities.”38cf2e931c74a365

I ran away to 4288be9a9c my room, avoiding my 24d1c5a2ae aunt, who was still c40767a0ae muttering as if she d8667b1573 hadn’t fully calmed down. I threw myself fad918cf47 onto the bed a1a854ef12 and reached out d4ba3add31 to open the e39000bc0e drawer. The chopsticks be947a13a9 for correcting 8ad3e35b36 your posture, b9fdead0e4 lying neatly 8de686df46 inside, made 5a79543421 my fingertips 84618c0968 shrink back.0bfa4e4641328966

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It was a a61e670ba0 waste to throw 23f2995b6f them away. But my 072d2b588b aunt’s words 7ae1c2d2ba bothered me 9858c6567d if I 0ef70156e8 gave them 3230edbb7b to him. After agonizing over it f8fca8312b for 30 minutes, I 26f37beb98 decided to secretly slip 857bd8c301 them into Eui-joo’s mailbox. I muttered as a192876a04 if vowing to b3370bfd29 organize my feelings 6837726222 and thoughts about 05f6b9bbc3 Eui-joo’s brother, Kang 7ebafcfe9f Eui-tae, with this. Maybe it 1b059c902d was because 07c53db764 of my 7bd38bdbba friendship with 9468f5d7f6 Eui-joo, but fb4ee75bc2 I couldn’t dcf95c30cb be harsh 8f34864570 with the 8afc7db0be man. Praising myself dc05205b2e for the bcbc94c58f satisfactory plan, 214b04abee I set 7e929dd2af the departure 523e403abe time for e5059952e8 30 minutes 2d752d89fe later.605ac5eaa329cbdb

“Ji-eon!”638e190c594719ee

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I was startled by 086ee1818b my aunt’s voice calling a4e2f3f823 for me urgently from 26772ea607 outside and slammed the f7f8097209 drawer shut.1f526fe29fa8c153

“Yes!”3a03b780a0fea3c9

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I ran out as 61a231afb4 fast as my feet 28e2c19f3b could carry me and 60ef67ef74 saw my aunt putting 396c7ff86e on her shoes in 96821cc167 a hurry, having stopped e46baa739d cooking.1a2d471765937374

“Come out and 54d9cd43ce lock the gate. That old 0c2efe1125 geezer keeps c7210ed779 calling for bbeabe74d1 me, so 44cc79deac I have 1b11015d62 to go. I’ve prepared all cd30c7947b the ingredients. All you 2a96abad49 have to 7591a24fbb do is 96ca10680d cook it.”b8d50c4105f2ff8b

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“Don’t worry about me, cfad327f1f Aunt.”c37ed0b780ed6798

“Lock the doors well.”91ca72e7ba5a78eb

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My aunt, looking 4b23df9b11 pale, hurried out, 1ae8af9b66 but even so, e864317992 she made sure f6d95539e5 that I locked 12fdec32db the gate before abf3a61f2a leaving. Unbeknownst to the niece e121d78f21 who was leaning against 243fd967b5 the closed gate, she c53a5663e3 was revising the 30-minute ccaba2a9fc departure plan to 3 1dc78b3560 minutes later. I stretched 1c94482390 towards the 6e21a7348d full moon, 652dc1d66a which was 4e58313118 showing off 42f9b56500 a bright b87dd2f4a5 smile as 996d9c05b7 if nothing 26bb4b5d82 had happened.f3b718771e202807

Once I handed over 8498e89581 the chopsticks, it would a3fa71f1ab be much easier to a28c78fb08 organize my feelings. My energetic steps d495b5ab02 crossed the yard 460e854dd2 exactly 2 minutes 496adf2ab7 later.0444af002003dad2

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