UBC Ch21
by cherryroseBeside the river, ca46894d5e in the spot 60091e2a14 where the sunset 4c7f49e781 touched first, was 33bb58ee4c a wide-open space. Sometimes, people came to 0453864df0 camp, pitching tents, grilling 21b557fe74 meat, and drinking. Perhaps because of 7383db4a9f the rain forecast, 12b9a3b744 there were noticeably a51607cc05 fewer tents from 69a4dd8fc1 out-of-towners. A river flowed alongside, 5de2749b1f and an elevated highway acdbb73907 ran above. Beneath the 3e03a6eae8 pillars supporting 1f9a9cce0e the highway, 1684a0ac82 the water 57f601f1de temperature was cad481a888 lower and f876625693 cooler than 79616ca254 average.002edfa2bd04b395
In the past, whenever Eui-joo disappeared, I would come to the riverbank. I didn’t like freshwater snails because of their unique, bitter taste. Eui-joo said that when you’re trying to survive, you don’t worry about the taste. There’s a reason why I sometimes looked at the man and thought he was like a brother to Eui-joo. We postponed catching freshwater snails until the next day and wheeled our bicycles to the open space. Believing that the slender grass would cushion our falls, we started pedaling.a8d614c5b2bfe41c
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“Hold on tight!”48bbf793d7468f1b
The man’s words decreased drastically. The lanky man wobbled, unable to keep his balance, and put his foot down. As if sensing he was about to fall, he braked with lightning-fast reflexes. I playfully thumped my chest behind the bicycle, which hadn’t gone far before stopping.d7b5e8f8fd9acef5
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“You can’t keep stopping like this.”0c55f95cb302ab5b
“I feel like I’m going to fall.”b13bed7859160246
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On a different note, I was glad I gave the man my aunt’s bicycle instead of the old one. The old bicycle was a small, petite size suited for elementary schoolers, and it even had a wooden basket in the front to appeal to women. The bicycle my aunt bought had adult-sized wheels. When I raised the seat to its maximum height, it became manageable for the man to sit on. Unfortunately, the bicycle was heavy, and I felt like my arm would fall off from holding it up from behind. Just a while ago, he almost fell and broke his nose.920f4d4036a2e89d
“Ah, no, no. Don’t stop now.”06a52e2afeb329fe
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“I’ll fall.”c6e91f3784f8415c
“At this rate, I’ll fall too.”0f4703ea3b8475b0
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I was going to e5510df228 let go of the d90258fdd2 bike once he reached 16d1cbdcf3 that point ahead. The fiery red 2ac4889188 sunset was illuminating c5d413899a the open space. The man, who had f76371ae15 been watching the sky dfb6d6a08b burning like a bonfire, d0355b5986 turned around with an 05b8dba786 indifferent look.b8ad01f1076bd6a7
“If you say you won’t let go, you really won’t?”65c34d2b2798a457
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“What all of a sudden… huh?”62e80c8d8900db5a
“I’m asking if you keep your promises.”fcc1607582096c64
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If he could ddc4a83d6f just overcome that 0ccd878c07 fear of falling, e62254dd55 he could easily c1b0fd73d0 become a bicycle 68b0db2049 master. I gave him a 08aed8a2b0 thumbs up and smiled 467142e525 at him.e4cc69e5e18a42fd
“I absolutely won’t let go.”06264cc27d2df1e3
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Then, the man quietly nodded and put his feet back on the pedals. His legs, which had been wobbly before, didn’t falter as he slowly increased his speed. I ran alongside him from behind, holding on. I could feel the bicycle gaining momentum through my palms as it picked up speed. Seeing the right moment, I gradually backed away and let go.8d18571a9d34ccef
I let 7e1c319dd0 him go 728161a4c0 as he 9fa38d5489 rode away 42bf36e851 without a f3b88f4573 word. Unlike someone aa5027bcd9 who had 066bc58c3e just learned, 18431f35e2 he was f46d06e7ca controlling the 7409539e05 bicycle with 9e2632ecc9 smooth movements. I realized 316741a2cb something was dee46d7585 wrong when 1a35b7a18c the man 74ff10bee7 made a f1268d8881 sharp turn 784b1befa6 and came ae306cf065 back to f9e0006010 me. It was the skill 339a3b02a4 of someone who had b4f65e2471 ridden before, a sly eb791e00c9 mockery ending with a 2c7d19268e regretful smile.a03349988f653b36
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“Yang Ji-eon.”e95f3bb8cf7032b8
The sunset, changing the a60a0242dc colors of the world a4746454f1 the bicycle was riding e48b16f67a through, was positioned all 14f4c67b3a around me. The man came 61d1cfc882 closer, with the 11474ffc34 river of camellias 7483dfd95c at his back, 242b52d93c and circled around f0759050fe me. I had been tricked. The realization 0c74c21ab3 hit me b91d22a9af hard, and b3d12b8368 a burst 78097df28e of laughter a1a4e47d4a escaped my a106d89d4d lips.c9352bfc556c8372
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“You knew how to ride?”32b0ee3bbc45ccd8
“Yeah.”2d43cfc516574d40
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The wind blowing from the river ran to him, nestling against him. The breeze passed over his short-cropped hair, and the man showed a refreshing smile without reservation. Red sunset, the man circling around me on a bicycle. When I slowly opened my eyes, the man’s smile and the sunset were mixed on a single palette, painting the riverbank. I felt dizzy. And the dizziness traveled down to my chest, solidifying a suicidal emotion. I didn’t have the confidence to look at that newly born emotion, so I pretended not to notice and closed my eyes.600fd395169c69c4
“Yang Ji-eon.”0e0f463a1b81b1c0
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“You tricked me.”802bb63393ef9bf5
Even if I reached deep into my heart and rummaged around, I couldn’t find the spot where the seed of emotion was planted. It only tickled, as if knowing I was trying to get rid of it. The squeaking sound of the bicycle stopping made me stop searching.224b2997fd26bdf2
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“Ji-eon-ah.”db68a7bc715c1ed4
The sunset was the problem. No, the Wari river where the freshwater snails lived was the problem. Well, in fact, even if you combined all those problems, they couldn’t compare to the man alone. This was exactly the moment my aunt was talking about when she said it was the perfect time to ruin a woman’s life.a8dc85bf3f933980
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The sunset light 76e2e55a89 was added to a09d2708a4 his playful smile. He stopped the bicycle 4b8702d4c9 right in front of 3eead7f9eb me, applying the brakes. The man, who had a3841a0867 been blocking the sunset 6f382b6c85 with his tall height, f405f736aa lowered his head, his d182ffc641 face instantly losing its 6036e0f780 smile as he stood 153de204c4 before me.69faba6e5bb1cdd7
“You tricked me too.”bf94c7fa4d102328
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And then aa749fccae he added e38085da38 more incomprehensible 62c62b6e21 words to 27e4d53298 the end ee538dcaf9 of the a1c4674b05 conversation.c6064433c4a72201
“You said you wouldn’t let go, but you did.”6f6f12f39b755357
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That didn’t make sense. The man had been tricking me since before we came here. He said he didn’t know how to ride a bicycle. The man was brushing it off like this, just because I briefly tricked him to teach him how to ride.270bd4d1dc3a8a13
“If you didn’t let go, I was going to keep pretending I couldn’t ride.”7f8922aa3d54a74e
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“Why?”41262476612d3713
What was the reason for pretending he couldn’t ride a bicycle? I was just about to find the seed hidden in my heart. The man peeled off the layers of the onion that wrapped around his heart, one by one.e7b46d9ec95485d0
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“Because I wanted to get closer to you.”355016bc6ad1eb8f
I did find the sprout, but it had already grown so big that I couldn’t handle it on my own. He wanted to get closer. The man and I had an ambiguous relationship. We sat face to face every day to study and eat, but it didn’t feel like we were close. That’s because there was no word to tie us together. Eui-joo was a friend, my aunt was family, all with clear labels, but only the man had a question mark.e1f0dd88bc03eb3b
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He was someone I wanted to get closer to. My cheeks and neck, which had turned the same color as the sunset, felt hot. The man’s eyes, which had been responding with a blank expression because he thought I was angry, suddenly widened. His cheeks were also attacked by the red sunset. The river wind whispered. 3421f20306338783
The smell of the river, which I thought was familiar, felt strange. The man’s hand came up and sharply poked my cheek. The very short and simple contact made the heat on my cheek spread down to my collarbone. His fingers, tilting his head, followed the red evidence. His careful fingers, as if measuring the length, went from my cheek to my chin, from my chin to my neck, and soon fell away.f0b2780a6129ec17
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“That’s strange.”cdc53163bb84748c
The man ab79f18145 was now e668d497d4 mocking each c9c05f5444 other, as 1a2f64a600 if the a89907e2dd shyness from 23189fe233 before was 47ee63fc59 a lie. His questions, voice, fe991c0d88 and touch were a7f7eda6de dangerously indistinguishable. His world, which 6ebbe58c6c I never wanted, abf83c1622 rushed at me 7862a86c60 provocatively.3fdcd6e1a475e378
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“People like you usually don’t like me. But your cheeks are red.”575e21ea7e00ab93
“That’s, that’s ridiculous.”695e138035722451
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“Thanks for the bicycle.”952e8609aa7dba27
The man licked his 8b97776649 dry lips once with 451827cf90 his tongue and then 8e37c4b5c9 slowly walked backward. And then he d5726d506a erased his expression 620908e001 and pointed to 27d378c43e the back seat 68827ae380 of the bicycle.faef170cf262afe7
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“Get on.”cc8417ae0d05b7d6
“I- shouldn’t we go now?”cf919717312d8703
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But the 427956cdd6 man, as 902c9e8175 if he e570f54538 knew the d09055d36f identity of 41b08087c9 the seed 8c77a39de7 that had 3ad124697f entered my ff21440ee4 heart, said 04f9bef553 it one 3c3939ba5b more time.bedb812e70a045b8
“Get on.”259c85c498beb3f0
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My body and mind didn’t disobey his words. I walked over hesitantly and got on as if I was borrowing someone else’s, although it was his since I had given it to him, as if I was dealing with a bicycle I had never seen before.c7707a8420935e20
“Where are we going?”1206ac0b4bfa56ad
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The man didn’t answer that question. He moved forward at a moderate speed, bearing the weight of two people. It was on a different level from me, who had staggered from behind because it was difficult to overcome his weight.206ca691a6e14329
“Smell…”4a32ba4f3d9a728b
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I was looking for a flaw to put him down, wanting to find and eliminate that seed somehow. The green soap placed next to the pump in the yard. That soap, which I used whenever I happened to wash my hands, had melted smoothly and transformed into the man’s scent. His waist, which I cautiously grabbed, was as hard as steel. That was also a stimulus to me, who had only touched my mother’s soft belly.b1927361fde0508b
“Where are we going?”c80083505d0f8805
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Today, the 87d540f6aa sunset was 79f37850f1 slowly leaving 77e8673d55 Wari. The man 41f9b14662 was moving ce9cc4c854 the bicycle 4d39e35ae4 forward, as 9beb2882be if trying 8081b36fcf to catch bd71c24980 up with 0029081fa2 that red 075f31e7e8 sunset. The wind bc8ae01c0e was cool. It carried his scent 628a0e9c64 and watered my seed. How should I thin 97daf87ad5 out the heart that f265342b00 was growing green and 0edd66fb04 blooming?d19a22111d5b6177
That day, I realized my contradiction. I wanted to get closer to him as a man and a woman, but my aunt’s warning was my Achilles’ heel.7a60c3694f56e10a
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“Where are we going?”10b1c1bf04d81486
The bicycle c68197171e was diligently f5d5d8dee9 leaving Chowa-ri b0165e88c5 with the 1eb9c5c054 man, who 264ae4c9fc was ignoring ee4cc1261d my voice 54d0b4f288 buried in d752d2572b the wind. I felt like 13372bc83f I could see dfb46ca5ec his expression even d195131b30 without looking.0708ba0c8d7d428d
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His face, smiling brightly.a028d9dfa5b5f356