UBC Ch2

All the funeral etiquette I thought I had diligently studied turned out to be useless. The chief mourner, Eui-joo’s brother, arbitrarily skipped the silent tribute, incense offering, and bowing portions. He dragged me to the table, saying we should eat first since a guest had arrived. The black suit he wore, with his back to me, was covered in tiny fuzz. His tie was crooked, and I thought, “So this is what they mean when they say a person’s circumstances show in their appearance.”b5d5026dc9ed1043

Yukgaejang in a paper d04ad37bef bowl and cold slices c71aa9f390 of boiled pork. Unidentifiable green 6e4fa22715 side dishes de09dc8e86 and three f2a7dd839f dried-up honey eec7b1ca0e rice cakes, 797d73f1f7 kimchi with a3c32957e5 little seasoning. It was a 1dde669dc0 meal I received 72d2533338 after skipping lunch 1b0bee1a4e and dinner, but 5052954a84 I hesitated to 9310df56f2 pick up my 25a683f99f spoon.cf614f8eec8e5661

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It was because of Eui-joo’s brother, who was in front of me, eating rice mixed in yukgaejang as if he hadn’t eaten in three days. From the start, he picked up two slices of boiled pork at once and ate them, which I thought was amazing. I stared in astonishment at him shoving the spoon into his mouth with a blank expression, and then my vision flickered. I looked up at the ceiling and saw the fluorescent light flickering on and off as if it were at the end of its life.62cdf31f88d5ffa7

It must be because it’s an old funeral hall, so power outages were frequent. I thought it was abnormally dark for some reason. The fluorescent light regained its strength five minutes later.249607244a2da498

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I put the plastic spoon I had been holding down on the table. A unique challenge had fallen into my life, where Eui-joo’s birthday, death, nothing could be easily passed over.12eb8f829a5e92d3

A tie about to twist around to the back of his neck, bandages covering his hands, a mouth torn by a wound, a blank expression that made him look like a robot, a man who was eating like a glutton. But as the fluorescent light came on, I learned things I hadn’t expected among the things I had anticipated.e43217f88099c655

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I could tell from his first appearance that he was much bigger than the skinny Eui-joo. His head was so high up from my perspective, and his imposing physique could be felt even in his hunched posture, which was intimidating. But his features, made clear by the light, were so refined that you couldn’t tell he was Eui-joo’s brother. It’s also strange that his eyes were bright brown, while his hair was black.6cc3eab9c1aef9e5

His appearance, which drew out even nonexistent feelings of goodwill, evoked both admiration and shock. I was amazed that Eui-joo had a brother with such outstanding looks, and it was shocking that his chopstick skills for picking up kimchi were worse than a five-year-old’s.5414d1f6cd800908

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He was using his fist to wedge the chopsticks to pick up side dishes, a truly terrible skill. It was a wonder how he managed to pick up and eat the side dishes. He didn’t care about what others thought and finished a bowl of yukgaejang, then roughly pulled out a tissue and wiped his mouth. Tears even disappeared because of Eui-joo’s brother, who seemed to live in the wild. His indifferent gaze, sweeping across the table as he roughly wiped his mouth with the tissue, landed on me.e46faabef9162e35

“Aren’t you eating?”3948b792b95ff1e3

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He said, looking at the untouched rice and yukgaejang. I couldn’t hide my bewilderment at the sudden question and just moved my lips. The man reached out without the slightest hesitation.2c04aace516e4d80

“Then I’ll eat it.”ce999ae62e25ddbe

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After my share of yukgaejang and rice passed into his hands, another mess began. My lower and upper lips parted on their own. As if he didn’t know what taste was, he mixed the rice into the soup and ate it quickly. I thought he would choke, so I opened a cola nearby and placed it in front of him.915f29d9171f1e70

The man’s spoon, which had been moving between bowls, slowly stopped. The man, who had silently swallowed the rice, lowered his eyes and asked.cd658d36c8edfad3

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“Are you close to Eui-joo?”8fa8b51abb6d456a

His tone, asking as if the dead Eui-joo were still alive, contained not a hint of emotion. It was as if it didn’t matter if I didn’t answer, as he started moving his spoon again.761832cd16aa4b11

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“Yes, we were close. That’s why I came.”20ff475d54552cdf

“School?”c99ce810f1530869

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“It’s winter vacation, so I don’t go.”9cfe23599a045f67

The resentment I thought had subsided was slowly raising its head within me. Besides his dead mother and runaway father, the person Eui-joo liked and relied on the most was probably his brother. The words, “What were you doing instead of coming to Chowa-ri earlier to take care of your sick brother?” rose to the tip of my tongue.3b02566b11ff2ca5

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“You’re better than me.”a30667e66453f665

He scraped the bottom of the bowl with the plastic spoon, and even tilted the bowl to pour it into his mouth. His unrefined manner was evident in his actions of putting down the empty bowl and pulling out a tissue to wipe his mouth. It was an impression that didn’t match his appearance.11863e1c84dcfee5

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It wasn’t like I had grown up being pampered, but even to my eyes, the man’s clumsy behavior was shocking. Of course, thanks to my mom and my remarried rich aunt’s efforts, I lived like a dandelion in a greenhouse. There were only a few lucky girls in the whole school who didn’t have to worry about household affairs and just had to study.112b73c34a6f2f76

It was especially true 5ca34bd478 in a conservative town 9e6b16fb8b like Chowa-ri. It was a town 01b7040625 that seemed to be 4608301e16 possessed by the ghosts 5c1e94f5b0 of the Joseon Dynasty, dd25279d44 thinking that something terrible ff04f805b5 would happen if a ecb9754935 girl left her hometown.0566f999e708ba16

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The town elders were somewhat fond of me because of my childhood connections. I had been able to greet them without blushing since I was a chubby-cheeked seven-year-old. Looking at Eui-joo’s case, that’s how it was. The village atmosphere of calling a grandmother who had been married and living there for over 30 years “Jeju’s wife” might have hastened Eui-joo’s death.4ffd4ec923b7c4cb

“Eui-joo said he missed you a lot. Even when I brought him side dishes, he saved them. He said he would eat them with you when you came.”729722bc39c42514

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So, instead of sitting there with such a blank expression, he should shed a few tears. I tried to prick him with thorns, but he was invincible. His hand slowly fell and lay on the table. Tap, tap, his fingernails tapped the tissue box in a regular rhythm. The age difference didn’t seem that great, but the man’s gestures and glances gave off a sense of a world I didn’t know. Then, he pulled his hand back and supported himself on the floor, letting out a sigh as if he were full.7a61fea4d2d6a91a

“What side dishes?”dbe7e7940a6bbc04

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“Sorry?”cee3e54f48cf9eaf

“You said you brought side dishes.”a61f4ca33ada871b

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My mind went blank for a moment at the completely unexpected question. I barely managed to open my mouth in that state where I couldn’t think of anything.e478303c3ad53da8

“Stir-fried sausage, seaweed stems, pickled cucumbers…”721a1c029b08478c

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“That must have been fucking delicious.”fc172209eac30494

“Yes?”d76bba692494e1c0

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“You lived well. Better than me.”7d065e610df5da21

He nonchalantly said a67f2ff19c that the dead 79f8ddb288 Eui-joo was better ae7716adcd than him. As if he 30956cf5eb had digested everything 19acf81301 in the meantime, c7e7aaae2f the man straightened 89f7877eb4 his posture again. He was still trying 9e29e1cea9 to pick up a b2262c53fc rice cake with his 82bbe2cac2 clumsy chopsticks. Clearing the 969be0366f blankness from 7f3aee83a9 my mind 9727f7f549 and regaining fab6bc6129 my reason, 5e6f33a6b9 I picked f767b9bc16 up the c6f4f1055b chopsticks this 48785e8863 time. I picked up cf2e4201d7 the pink honey 3dcb323765 rice cake that c41aefd623 the man was c132fc47a8 aiming for and fae2422937 moved it to 726c66c86d his chopsticks.966066111a2b0188

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That was the first time the man’s expression changed. The man, whose eyes had widened slightly, stared at me intently.0f8395d1852b9168

“Thanks.”1ebccc100d4a5247

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After the simple delivery ca14a173ad ceremony, the man shoved bec71b6f3a the rice cake into 538fc63242 his mouth and suddenly 9b2628c769 raised his chin to 2f58ac360e look at me. He let 38e213511b out another abaf2e6d5e sigh and 5347d1741d asked in cd12ec3b9a an unclear 9fcc7490d8 pronunciation.369bbc2698c020bc

“Go now. I’ve finished eating.”5c8516f71e75d172

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That was originally the plan. It wasn’t an atmosphere for mourning or anything. But if I left like this, I would only think about Eui-joo’s brother day and night. And those clumsy chopsticks picking up kimchi. I, who was quick to adapt, picked up the kimchi, the man’s next target, and held it out to him. The man accepted it with a brazen expression, as if he were used to it the second time.befc626fa84fb713

“I asked you. Why didn’t you come…? I’m not angry, so don’t glare at me like that.”9706b7420e7c2423

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I only changed my tone to be polite because he was glaring at me as he stopped chewing. As my attitude changed, the man was busy getting rid of the food in his mouth again. Gulp, his Adam’s apple moved fiercely. The man rinsed his mouth with a glass of water and let out a sigh.1a582aee5be3ecee

“Your parents are alive.”f9f3eb4690b08350

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“…Me?”da5ce660bf3c3e49

“Yeah.”3735eef7b94a593c

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“Ah, me. Yes. I only have a mom, no dad.”dbee91f984042320

“Does she treat you well?”e348a6f2b1dd55a6

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“I’m sorry, but why are you… asking that?”566b27f98dfc71eb

“Just wondering if you don’t have to go home. If she doesn’t treat you well, you can stay longer. If she cherishes you like gold, you should go. It’ll be annoying if something noisy happens later. Now it’s…”5d1d5e0395ed4ec8

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The man edf2f85fb0 turned his 0d1674c1ea head to a7de2d48e0 look at a4576c003c the clock 5bb0d633c1 and narrowed 6b59848971 his brow.c69a6241cfdd4437

“It’s almost 12.”24f82378cffee6d3

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He put 5efb54979c his hand fc5e61bdc5 inside his d95af1f70c suit jacket 72842c6355 and rummaged c5fad1bcd4 around, looking 57ddb33092 for something. My tongue 5618efd650 became free 11ad163d33 as I b943a98e85 saw the e3da864671 red lighter adeb54d5c3 that came 7d67d449f4 out.b721a54d5a38c479

“Smoking is prohibited here, right? It is, right?”effc8863828445c6

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“What’s prohibited?”4c95646d0aec6276

The man opened a03220cbce the cigarette pack bbd6eebe37 that naturally followed 521d63544b and squinted as bbd6f53950 if disappointed. I was relieved 2f3b8631dc to see the e10c3a6b33 empty cigarette pack 261135a91b with him. I leaned my relaxed 4356ab345f head against the wall.5a6586872242c5ac

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“You can’t smoke here…”268d8d8d95930c59

“Yang Ji-eon.”dd13a32f8241e961

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My shoulders flinched reflexively 12f01912e3 at the sudden call ac86990916 of my name. It was 2be9b48cd7 an atmosphere b051752a1e to say 66d9d0a75a something important 51d5c1f3dc about Eui-joo. I straightened my hunched 18bb014bd5 back and sat up, b73229e16f waiting for his next 4f56082146 words.321c6131fff6d203

“Lend me some money.”08e88f799a46c90d

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“Sorry?”8d76631ebb3ee3f4

“So I can buy cigarettes.”9ce61c3e75753dd4

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“Huh?”36f38135e648cbe0

“It would be even better if you bought them for me.”79211d77e0401bdc

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“I’m a minor, though?”f1d26114c7b617d1

“Can’t minors buy them? I think I bought them when I was your age.”670f03027f3a2bd6

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“What?”7a85a17c735af0de

A sneer hung on his lips as if he found me constantly asking back funny. The man, who shamelessly asked me to run errands for cigarettes, nevertheless didn’t pay attention to the condolence money I had offered. I realized very late that it was his unique, high-class joke.2eb394a381dcf4bd

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After eating all the rice cakes, I stared blankly at him as he didn’t forget to eat the remaining side dishes. I was curious about Eui-joo’s brother, who had strangely appeared out of nowhere.0c48066121469196

“Excuse me.”6f16d0396a1fccc8

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The man, b87ef395b3 who was 8a5ddea523 just about db99baaa57 to pick f462064cd4 up a 58645c09f2 side dish 6243524ea8 and put a9b5d9d749 it in 73f7d6b947 his mouth, 548158bc0c fixed his f4c0a297c7 gaze on 4cc94f5f5e me.720151b9c5ddb0a9

“What’s your name?”044de5fdfbb425d1

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The answer 23ae10128c came later, c893fc2a77 as the b1cb1c0bd3 chopsticks went 22dcb8b48b ahead to 026b6029cb eat the 648cd50952 dry boiled fe145a8e63 pork. I moved the 2d417cb5a0 chopsticks before the 9d68153128 man did. I thought 0fb56b6dbb it would 9d21a2c028 be better 8ad8b2dab3 for me cbee939824 to pick 1693b99584 it up e3abd2f9fe since the dbc9c908b3 boiled pork 2e8b5b5175 was slipping 9be7162a50 dozens of 5092630839 times. The man 9205070737 quietly watched 319996e855 me move 3f7df0701c the boiled ab4d884779 pork to dd2c83d353 his plate 1c995d0255 before giving f52236320c a late 7716e4b9d6 answer.f6936f8f35a1ebbb

“Kang Eui-tae.”43ce97ec41b72d91

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Eui-tae. It was Kang Eui-tae. That was Eui-joo’s brother. After finishing the brief background check, I exchanged glances with the man. Wasn’t the valley that Mom warned me not to go to the deepest and most fun? The fact that I had passed 12 o’clock outside of the study room gave me a subtle thrill.930cee9f348cc5de

Eui-joo’s brother was a strange person in many ways. I didn’t know if it was fortunate or something that it wasn’t a sad day that would ruin my short life. On the day of Eui-joo’s funeral, I was continuing an awkward memorial service with the man.91c23efaaef9dbb0

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