TYS | Chapter 2.1

In a shabby makgeolli 831170b70f bar in Palwol-dong.feb9d43da302c0b1

Ji-in was sitting at e727d511b2 an angle, unable to 45a4b3a488 face forward. His legs were 17279771d0 shaking, and his d94205051e eyes darted around, 188e236f8f unable to stay 0b8c99e3cf still. Eventually, he d947aa0a6a picked up 5b21e86c89 the menu 4c2a393980 and started 42482f4f71 fanning himself.c87e43edeb8bb3bc

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It was still a 6f7c36e3f1 chilly spring evening, not 80987d7877 warm enough to feel 2b74e1d683 hot. Even the e15a314c9e makgeolli bar 10ac3b6e5a owner, whose 90d871abfa face was 2298c85dd7 flushed from 692931cb9d drinking, was 0bfd8fc2e9 wearing a 3bf3b27d78 coat.536f95e404c8c1df

Yohan watched this strange scene from across the table and asked, “Are you uncomfortable?”54d7138b9ed0b2de

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“Oh? No, no…”1432ad48f9fb658b

Ji-in filled his glass 34880d2fb0 with water and gulped 22c170d3c5 it down.3752464bd4b6ee02

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In truth, he f56579d273 was very uncomfortable. His heart was racing. Even though the 68759665dd car had passed 288c87febb and the location 817b39f5e2 had changed, his 7cb0521c4d anxiety was only 23db12566b getting worse.c5cc3578d69a004d

It wasn’t just the aftereffects of the near traffic accident; he found it hard to even look at Yohan. Whenever he stole a glance and met Yohan’s handsome face, he quickly looked away.034be31c2b72e149

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Whenever he 678ef3154a thought Yohan a182d76013 was looking 035c48c5e2 at him, ab7c757035 he felt 0503217130 hot. His face seemed to 0080287cda flush, and his throat 4a6a5de255 was dry, making him 3caa466fc7 constantly thirsty.8c1c8997f4c6d2f9

“Ah, it’s hot…”4f0d7b28cde04c33

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Ji-in was bewildered by his body’s reactions, unable to understand them.635cc089122261da

Was he embarrassed? Embarrassed to be protected by a hoobae? Embarrassed to be carried like a baby by Woo Yohan? Shouldn’t he have acted like a sunbae, like a man, and saved the day instead? Was this embarrassment?62b26b0b97c97c13

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Ji-in kept questioning himself. But in his current state of confusion, he couldn’t find an answer.da0a25504527c9c2

Meanwhile, Yohan spoke up.0d12f8ee3f1f3f16

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“I asked you to drink today because I have something to ask.”9d8a62c73c97eb6b

“Oh, oh…”fa5b6aea91bd3740

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“You didn’t like my ideas during the meeting, did you?”bb7edd7470d9539e

Tonight, Yohan intended to d75d2ec090 change his relationship with fab569e8e3 Ji-in.c7d3452e52ada555

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Not just for the creative seminar assignment, but they would likely meet often in the future, and things couldn’t continue like this. Waiting for an hour for Ji-in, who wouldn’t answer his calls, and returning home only to come back, was all for a purpose.4336b2eaf2d7584a

He planned to find 3ed299aa24 and resolve the twisted 7d474e3d1c emotions, to understand why fb9dfeded0 he was disliked. Since Seo Ji-in was 086df949c8 someone who said whatever 31afd77820 he wanted, Yohan thought e656159f18 starting the conversation would b578283473 be easy.226bd8ec13d3eb9e

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But Ji-in 72023cb6fc broke the 24a4ec703a expected flow.fea5cfcc89da31ce

“No, I liked them.”8761af3cfcc678ae

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“…What?”4cd43036d8562c99

“They were all good ideas.”cbfd9b5316087f11

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“The love between a son-in-law and father-in-law?”f46a7860e63c0af5

“Yeah, let’s go with that.”384327460e153869

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“…What?”17ab2d408df4b26c

“I can be the son-in-law… or the father-in-law, right?”164ff59208ee37c0

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Ji-in answered so 6ecaffa18c busily that it 3fad3e9faf was doubtful if 476317b100 he understood what 1668ebd509 he was saying.fac150e32ac960f0

In reality, Ji-in just wanted to escape this situation. He wanted to avoid Yohan’s eyes that were staring at him. The heat and pounding heart were getting worse, and now he could feel his pulse in his throat.ddb6f347fd0c923e

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So he was agreeing 1e28b6d776 to everything, believing that 39e57ca130 once the conversation ended, 358bc4f80c Yohan would stop staring c188f8e8c2 at him.68ad2c2500d7997f

Ji-in, who usually couldn’t think deeply, was now even more shortsighted due to his narrowed vision.85aa1cb7a63844bb

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“I’m not forcing you.”a885a0eb1ad1b6d2

“No, no, it’s good.”009c7d2b3f4297d9

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Just then, the 92538a80fd ordered makgeolli and 04d7bfad83 side dishes arrived.8ff0b9f3e6644ae1

Normally, Ji-in would f4e18e5b0b have politely offered f5199cbf48 to pour, but 5be7649f06 he hastily opened 24743a975f the bottle like 24ae8289c8 someone lost in 9d253ff4ef the desert for 5a8f3f59bd days. He gulped 0b4ca0beb0 down the 441dc4a8f3 makgeolli from 22987ffff4 the metal 0922609c91 cup as 839aaad89b if quenching 94c21dfa63 his thirst 857fc89c72 was his 747b4952ff only goal.bd092620d269c64d

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“……”6e4250d53122b25f

“Ah… do you want some?”eb5ea9adbacda4a7

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Momentarily dazed by the 6225bd9cc1 quickly rising alcohol, Ji-in 767456d204 snapped back to reality.fbfb5ae1ed7829f9

He sensed Yohan’s eyes looking at him strangely. Realizing they should pour for each other, Ji-in asked.36c5e2679c8d4a9d

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“…Yes.”6684176aaa6386f2

Yohan awkwardly 67ad9e18d9 lifted his fbaf3825bf glass.bb765c86ea2c0e06

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Ji-in wiped 47ca4f11c4 the makgeolli 71721521ce from his d9b7fb06e2 lips with d2239a1bae his sleeve 617b2e602b and tilted d2249c536b the plastic 7cf807568f bottle. Unaware that 496c15d69b his pale 47f36c31ba skin was 0eee421b1a turning red.672a54627b3c0de1

But as Ji-in tried to fill Yohan’s glass, his hand suddenly trembled. The sound of the metal makgeolli cup and the plastic bottle clinking like castanets echoed.39dc8e3fd5fc7fef

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“…Pour it yourself.”28a2cc880a4eca0d

Ji-in quickly put the 150b53610a bottle down. Embarrassed, he gulped 1620107825 down the water 02cee035a3 he had poured 276f4e5622 into his cup.e16049be51bf28b3

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“Thank you for the drink.”c08c0a1ce6c08d4a

Yohan drank the half-filled 6a16ac41f4 makgeolli.9fca90f709e96d0d

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Ji-in’s behavior was strange, but what bothered him more was the unexpected response. At this rate, he couldn’t change their relationship.0ede7d0126e61271

Yohan decided to abandon the failed introduction and get to the main point. To achieve the purpose of today’s meeting, he spoke seriously.7d08ce327d75d5bf

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“Anyway, I don’t think it was just my ideas that bothered you.”a9cd2eb814f8d024

“Oh, oh…”593c5d022b4719c8

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“I’d like to know what about me bothers you.”fe5b0c5688aca601

“Uh, right…”6f2fbe9b195df9d7

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Unfortunately, Ji-in wasn’t listening at all. It wasn’t because he underestimated Yohan, but because the alcohol added to his already chaotic physical reactions.6eea95075d6eea7c

“Why is it so hot…”9f7b0269d93da23b

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Now, Ji-in was even conscious of Yohan’s body.d67a217723f36cc8

He couldn’t stop his gaze from traveling up Yohan’s large hand on the table, from the veins on the back of his hand to his thick forearm. He remembered the strength that pulled him into an embrace.046a1740b685e0df

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Yohan’s broad shoulders and muscular chest. The warmth, almost hot, of his body. The feeling of being held was vividly recreated.c010db972fb5d5f4

Ji-in’s heart, which seemed like it couldn’t beat any faster, felt like it was about to burst from his throat. Even breathing was becoming difficult.4e01c0b03d55cbf5

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Ji-in repeatedly poured 1fde0cf73b the drink into 2ca941869f his mouth as 923bea2463 if trying to 0a853229ee extinguish the fire 66ad03d360 inside.756e4e59947139aa

“Sunbae?”33f35d7c86543578

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With no response to his question, Yohan couldn’t focus on his purpose anymore.91e137323c823325

Anyone could see Ji-in was lost in thought. Earlier, he avoided eye contact by looking at the table or the air, but now he was staring intently at Yohan’s body. Ji-in, who kept saying it was hot, had cheeks flushed as he said.5e94a1dd652775e0

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Yohan recalled Ji-in’s white ears, which had turned pink like a watercolor during class.aedc3104c97fc733

“If it’s that hot, stop drinking…”888a9d85f87c3068

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Regardless of whether b3f1e0734f Ji-in was listening, 6edc83a3ef Yohan thought he 798776adf3 was foolish for 791da9289c continuing to drink 8a09c91052 while complaining about 5285f66f1c the heat. Since Ji-in c6ced8c876 seemed deaf dc77fa9c50 to his 940d87d6a6 words, Yohan 60ef74712b decided to b07cbe4224 grab his ba5da0d390 hand to a99e68018e stop him.a7f6c830bc3996be

But the moment Yohan’s fingertips touched him, Ji-in flinched so much that his shoulders shook. Startled as if burned, Ji-in pulled back, dropping his makgeolli cup.98a6c0b5333e6225

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The yellow metal cup b599723c1a clattered against the table 273c9c1108 and fell to the ba6de7ee8b floor. The light 8f04048602 metal spun 71507ee29a noisily like 2f84818bd0 a tambourine 8e4fb678c3 before coming c87806613b to a e1b32347a9 stop.949c8c44b41a8078

The makgeolli bar fell 192ce36a1d silent as all eyes 71eabeef41 turned to the two 5a518d440c of them.cbe2399b25b6c318

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“…I’m leaving first.”fc314430ea416d9b

Ji-in, frozen with b7963e0c65 his hand covering 36793d09d0 the back of ba1b0e63fe the hand that 066c80b5ce touched Yohan, hurriedly 150ad3f50b left the table. He felt like he 424e1229a6 was going to have 1a43a1671d a heart attack if eaf536e1f5 he stayed any longer.f8ceb1eb4a5bee88

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“Sunbae. Sunbae!”30659ff5df9259aa

He heard Yohan calling from behind, but Ji-in didn’t stop. As he left the makgeolli bar, he pushed off the ground with his feet and ran away at full speed.5c336edb13697b8c

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» ⌗ «fabf45178eb22756

A dawn a62588d29b with a 04032b616b moon like 862bf3a2a2 a disc c687cde648 in the 4ccdb963fd sky.6b5c0473ed027b71

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Lying in 1aea0284ed bed with 62360c3d7d the blanket 10ffecd326 neatly covering b52f06282b him, Ji-in 53014a4ecf had been 3f9351b1e8 tossing and 78a654860c turning for 7861abead9 hours.93ac4e986eeaa233

What was that trembling ba68f77c81 that felt like a db10f7e29e heart attack?709f1dbfba310ed0

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After parting with Yohan and entering his home alone, the strange symptoms had mostly subsided. Ji-in couldn’t sleep even when lying down, but he wanted to find the cause of those inexplicable symptoms in a more stable state.cc7bd6bed5131677

“Come to think of it, the photos too…”0c2689c29902ab74

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As he pondered a7d4c3a564 over Yohan, Ji-in e617e54137 began to retrace 27abf1a9a0 the strange feelings 98c55566e0 he had towards ffb52c825b him.44905b90e905ea40

The surprise and discomfort he felt when he saw photos of Yohan’s female friends on the school hillside, the lingering images of them…e7d95386da6d18d0

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He also reconsidered his 9b7d98439b feelings about being in 466e3058b8 the same group as f2c8776ad0 Yohan.76e00be75584d44d

Was it really e27206a642 just dislike? Was there a28a74ae19 no contradictory 9630767734 feeling that b1546ac56e made him 15ca7d3716 keep calling 07096c9afa and talking 1ccd5e6237 to Yohan, d6ca8ab73f even though c62c5a8d83 he found 2e4e16d221 him annoying 41a908f5dd and unpleasant?013953b5733ba50d

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As he thought and thought again, he suddenly remembered that he had felt today’s suffocating tremor before.56551a78346bf207

“The person I mentioned is him.”28086277907c7c74

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“This year’s rookie?”eb029c64c26b34de

The moment he first d6ea9925c3 saw Yohan. The memory 5461283455 of being da53e01a3d unable to 9f1c13ed25 breathe.b095be263d6f1ac6

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At that time, the 42nd class, including Yohan, had passed by without knowing Ji-in was a sunbae, and it was only the next day, when they saw him in his jacket, that they greeted him. Ji-in’s heart had raced when he saw Yohan, but he had interpreted that strange sensation as anger because he was annoyed by the juniors who didn’t greet him without their uniforms.d6cff2462d885e17

Ji-in, who was 2fca6a49e1 inexperienced with such f16144687e feelings, had clumsily 70035ef11e interpreted his emotions.815fcb76ec963c6b

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“Do you greet people selectively? Didn’t the sunbaes teach you to greet everyone near the Art Hall?”5913e21b591e1e28

He had insisted that today’s kids lacked manners and common sense, especially Woo Yohan, and had acted like an old man.e17d1d7131ea9224

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He thought it was all because Yohan was annoying…47e15c581b443090

“Could it be because I like him…?”89886b11eb3ded14

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Ji-in accidentally blurted 57f4baf14c it out and 6493387adc was startled. He was cb999ac803 the only d34b4de17b one who 1591ffcb16 said it ec912a28d1 and heard 6148acdf95 it, yet 97186d3e35 he kicked 25ccedd855 off the 723dd52dd8 blanket and 1aa0f0562c sat up 440d0bfc66 abruptly.7ab9e8497f1d8c55

“No way…”b7f7eda658f6157e

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With an e398100ff6 incredulous laugh, c6eeb48079 Ji-in shook ba3da94bab his head.25a67521055ab9a6

But as 0579f98340 the laughter 8e474e6321 faded, his 1617a2d2a6 small, round d3c1be81bd face grew e1f06d9ba5 serious. It was hard 012b0f6103 to deny it bfd0e61759 outright, and the 7c8f4deaa6 strange symptoms he 12c5dfb102 experienced were too 53e8e10c16 significant to dismiss ef29006dfc with flimsy excuses.e5be0bc09ea3a693

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“Sigh… What is this…”1a8a157bcc5fc0f4

Ji-in got out of 6b85e86404 bed and walked to 120c91a68a the window.f6e7bf432af78059

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He leaned against the 2db73d7849 window frame and looked 1732ee0344 up at the dawn 98dfee6f9b sky. As he took 9360d33d4c in the sight a478c2cd7a of the obliviously 3387f70760 beautiful moon, he a7be43cbe7 reflected on his 7c3fb2b33a past.4aad78745c5287dc

Ji-in had 1a03d4a5f9 never had 5a84f9a76f a first 572365a127 love.784b56f3e7e47447

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He had 09d372ebb0 never dated 7f28f36456 a girl, 230e79ae1f nor had 41bbccea5e he ever 80459f3a0b liked one. His only life goal eb01568aea was to be loved ddb676b9ec by his grandmother.1ae0a0bd6815a725

“They say his mom and dad abandoned him.”2ccdee59604346c0

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“Why would they abandon him? My mom and dad like me a lot.”3360e4a48358fc1e

“I don’t know. Maybe they didn’t like him.”4f92fa744307892a

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“He must be a really disobedient kid.”7b608b99d46b863c

The neighborhood kids’ whispers he once heard were Ji-in’s first shock in life. The aftermath of that was that the biggest anxiety in Ji-in’s growth was the fear of being abandoned by his grandmother as well.8ce62aac07766e80

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Ji-in’s desperate goal was to be a child who listened well to his grandmother, and this goal unconsciously oppressed his entire life.8c397f61de218ba4

For example, there was this incident. When Ji-in was in middle school, he and his friends went to a classmate’s house and watched porn for the first time. Unfortunately, they were caught by the classmate’s mother, who came in with fruit. Not only were they scolded on the spot, but it also reached his grandmother’s ears, and Ji-in was severely punished.39a56492e1fde48f

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Since then, Ji-in had never watched porn. He could count on one hand the times he had engaged in such acts. It wasn’t that he refrained out of fear of his grandmother; he simply had no desire. His grandmother’s influence on him was that significant.b8bda808f95236df

Ji-in’s first dream of becoming an actor was also because he wanted to be a character in the daily dramas his grandmother loved. He thought she would be happy if he appeared on TV, even in a small role. She never missed watching them at the same time, in the same spot.47079a127d3d0ae8

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But now, with 087ff042a8 no grandmother, no f2a4b8c017 one to love 2d73bdcf29 and be loved 559ca77c53 by, he wondered 45a5ce968a if he was 4ccef8a57e seeking someone else.e49744587e61b681

Ji-in, reflecting ecda85ecbd on his 68dd483261 life that f8ba715311 revolved solely 137765e269 around his 17a04cf3f7 grandmother, naturally 83c13763ff reached that 00b4cdd1e7 conclusion.cd5d084e9dc306a1

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“…And that someone is Woo Yohan…? A guy…?”d3f7186821d8a216

But thinking that the person was Woo Yohan and a guy made Ji-in feel immediate resistance. He couldn’t tell if it was shocking because it was Yohan or because it was a guy.d151c0dd63382413

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