TRWBU Ch 3 part 1

PR by neji

“Oppa, did something happen to you today?”

Taewan’s stylist, EunSoo, glanced at him as she cautiously asked.

“Oppa?”

The window of time for his response had passed, and Taewan still had not answered her question. She called out to him one more time.

Suddenly, Taewan’s lowered eyes regained its focus. He slowly raised his eyes and looked at EunSoo.

“Ah, sorry. What did you say?”

Taewan asked in a dazed voice.

“Did something happen? Your expression doesn’t look good today. Your complexion looks a bit dark. Did you not get any sleep last night? Your skin doesn’t look very good either…”

EunSoo brushed her hands through his hair as she looked at his reflection in the mirror.

Taewan’s expression had been grave from the moment he entered the studio. And his complexion didn’t get any better from then on.

“I’m okay.”

But his answer wasn’t very concise. It was as if he didn’t want EunSoo to ask him any further. EunSoo glanced at his reflection in the mirror one more time before she turned her eyes to his manager.

The manager stared at Taewan’s back before letting out a deep sigh. Ever since he had gone to pick Taewan up at his place, he looked a bit dazed.

He asked him if something was wrong, but Taewan’s lips remained closed. And he’d been in this state ever since.

Would he be able to shoot his scenes properly like this?

The manager looked at him worriedly.

“We’ll start shooting soon.”

At the assistant producer’s notice, Taewan exited the waiting area. The set was illuminated by lights that seemed to be brighter than the sun. When Taewan walked into the middle of the set, he stopped.

As he straightened his sleeves, the director, Jaewon, slowly walked over to him. Jaewon was the director of Taewan’s debut film. They hit it off immediately, and had worked together on multiple projects. Although there was a large age gap between them, it didn’t hinder their relationship, and they had both grown very close.

“Kang Taewan.”

Jaewon called out.

“Why do you keep getting into useless scandals? It’s making my life a lot harder. Because of you, I have to shoot with all the doors tightly closed. I don’t believe in getting publicity for the drama through stunts like these.”

Because of Taewan and NaYeon’s scandal, reporters were swarming around the studio. In order to keep them from interrupting the shoot, Jaewon gave strict orders to the staff to keep watch over all the exits of the set and keep all the doors shut.

“I’m sorry.”

When Taewan obediently apologized, Jaewon stopped talking.

“What’s wrong with you? Why are you apologizing all of a sudden? It’s not like you. The Kang Taewan I know would say, ‘How is it my fault?’”

“……”

Taewan lowered his eyes at Jaewon’s joke. It was his way of saying he didn’t want to speak anymore. Jaewon frowned. He’d watched Taewan for a long time now, but this was the first time he’d seen him like this. Just when he was about to ask further questions, NaYeon approached them.

Jaewon gave NaYeon a happy greeting and said he’d leave to finish the preparations for the shoot.

“Oppa, getting here was difficult, wasn’t it? Reporters have been surrounding my place since last night, can you believe it? Was your place okay?”

“Yeah.”

Taewan fixed his perfectly fine sleeves one last time as he answered. In all honesty, he didn’t remember. He remembered getting out of the car, and the next thing he knew, he was sitting on a sofa in the waiting area.

And then he remained like this after that. As if he were a person who was starting to have memory loss, Taewan’s memories seemed staggered.

These symptoms had started ever since he had received HaYeon’s break-up notice.

Break-up notice.

As these strange words appeared in Taewan’s head, a shadow was cast over his face. Despite knowing that his complexion looked grave, NaYeon continued to grin at him.

“Thank goodness. But the reporters will continue to be stubborn and pursue you. Let’s be careful from now on. But if we’re going to keep being harassed like this, we might as well start dating, Oppa. I feel like we’ll be less harassed if we just go public with it. Don’t you think so?”

NaYeon laughed as she whispered so that only Taewan could hear. However, the reaction she received was not one she expected.

She thought that his silence meant he agreed with her, so she took a step towards him. The staff around them prepared for the shoot and glanced at the two of them. She knew this and stopped when she was close to Taewan.

She had been interested in Taewan for a long time now. He was handsome, took very good care of himself, and kept a distance from her to the point that it almost felt cold. However, he often showed her a tenderness that made her heart flutter.

At first, she wondered what kind of man he was. And then she grew interested in him. She reached out to him a few times to show her interest in him, but he must have been a bit dull because he never showed any interest back. He merely remained silent.

Today, she also approached him in this way. She thought Taewan would merely laugh and change the subject as he always did.

But it still didn’t matter. He’d get used to her. And then his heart would slowly open up to her. At least, that’s what NaYeon thought. 

“No.”

Taewan replied in a dry voice.

“What?”

“We can’t start dating because of a reason like that.”

His reply was different than usual. She almost wondered if he was the same Kang Taewan she’d always known. His voice was so cold.

NaYeon gave him an odd look. Taewan’s eyes slowly traveled from his sleeves to her. His eyes looked frustrated, and they held no warmth.

“I don’t know if you can do it, but I can’t.”

His voice was icy cold. It was almost humiliating for her to hear, so NaYeon gave him an awkward smile.

“Those kinds of jokes are what creates scandals like this. You know very well how things work around here.”

“I know it well. I’m being very careful. You know that scandals are harsher on the women than the men.”

NaYeon quickly fixed her expression as she answered him. She felt a bit slighted, but she didn’t let her expression betray her true feelings.

Taewan looked down at NaYeon from above. His eyes were colder than usual. He felt a lot more overbearing.

“Yeah. Since you know that so well, be more careful.”

“……”

“You asked to have dinner with all your colleagues, but not all of them showed up. And reporters just happened to be there. And on that day, you even fell down and asked me to help you up and linked your arm with mine.”

“……”

NaYeon’s face flushed at Taewan’s accusations. She thought Taewan hadn’t recognized the signals she was sending him, so she had used an aggressive tactic that day.

She was too proud to confess to him first, so she did this to make him think about her. But he had known all along and pretended not to know. She never expected this.

“I don’t want to lose a colleague.”

Taewan’s rejection caused her blush to travel to her ears.

Colleague.

That meant he never saw her as a woman. Taewan turned his eyes away as if he didn’t have any more reason to look at her.

“Then, Oppa, did you pretend not to know all this time?”

NaYeon asked as she gazed at his profile.

“Yeah.”

He confirmed her suspicions.

“Because I thought you’d give up after a while.”

“……”

“That was my way of being considerate towards a colleague.”

“Then why did you stop today? Why did you let me know that you knew all along?”

“Because I didn’t think I needed to anymore.”

“……”

“Because it was aggravating to pretend not to know.”

Taewan knew that he was being too harsh with his words. However, once his lips opened, he couldn’t stop. This was because he wondered if the reason why HaYeon had asked to break up was because of the NaYeon scandal.

NaYeon bit her lower lip.

“That’s too harsh, Oppa.”

“From my perspective, continuing to pursue me even though I pretended not to know to this extent is being harsh.”

Hearing Taewan’s cruel reply, NaYeon couldn’t take it any longer and turned around. As her heels clacked on the floor, the staff members who had been furtively watching them began to murmur. 

A little while later, someone from NaYeon’s team announced that her condition wasn’t very good and requested a ten minute break for her to rest.

“Were the two of them really dating?”

“Did they break up?”

“Didn’t they just have a fight?”

The staff members gathered in small groups and began to whisper. Their eyes were glued to Taewan as he stood in the middle of the set.

He lowered his head and remained as still as a statue. His eyes were fixated on the floor and didn’t move away.

“But why does it look like Kang Taewan is the one who’s heartbroken?”

Someone murmured as they asked.

“I don’t know. Did the two of them break up?”

Someone else inferred. The staff members began to whisper amongst themselves again.

“Ha, that guy…”

Having heard the murmurs of his staff, Jaewon let out a sigh and stared at Kang Taewan. Although he hadn’t heard the reason why NaYeon was angry, he had a vague understanding of what had happened.

Until now, Taewan had always been considerate towards NaYeon and pretended not to realize her feelings. However, he’d been cold with her today, so NaYeon was definitely shocked. Jaewon didn’t know why Taewan, who had been so patient with her up till now, had suddenly changed.

Jaewon approached Taewan to say something, but when he saw Taewan’s profile, he stopped in his tracks.

Kang Taewan’s expression was blank as he stood alone. He continued to look at the floor as if he hadn’t realized that the shoot was postponed. It was as if he were here but wasn’t.

As if he were trapped in his own world. No sound, no light… Nothing could pierce through the barrier and enter into his world.

No matter what Jaewon said as the director, it would never reach Taewan’s ears.

* * *

“Just what is your problem?”

Jaewon, the drama director, took off his cap and threw it down on the table. His normally amiable, joking demeanor was nowhere to be seen.

Jaewon was incredibly angry. His terrifying glare rested on Taewan, who sat on the chair across from him.

“I told you before. I will let anything else slide. You’re thirty minutes late? You want higher pay? You have a messy private life? I can let all of that slide. If I didn’t have the ability to endure the dirtiness of the celebrity world, then how could I have made it this far? But you’ve never been like this. You’ve never been late, never had an issue with your pay, and your private life didn’t have any problems. So I found you very endearing and protected you.”

“……”

“But still, you bastard. No matter how much one protects their private life and tries to keep it squeaky clean, I hate people who can’t do their work properly. Especially actors who can’t get immersed in their roles. I can never forgive bastards like that.”

“……”

“How can you call that acting? Huh? No, did you even act just now?”

Jaewon looked at Taewan in disbelief before letting out a deep sigh.

An hour ago, NaYeon finally finished her preparations and came out onto the set. NaYeon and Taewan stood in front of each other. They were going to shoot an elegant break-up scene today.

Tears were needed for this scene. NaYeon acted what she felt in reality. She burst into tears that one could hardly believe it was acting. 

As long as Taewan could do his part, this scene would have been a great shot. However, Taewan didn’t say any of his lines.

He merely stared at NaYeon as she cried such human tears. As if he were looking at someone from far away, his eyes were a bit dazed.

“Cut! Kang Taewan, what are you doing?!”

Jaewon halted the shoot and walked over to Taewan. Taewan repeatedly said, ‘I’m sorry.’ However, his apologies meant nothing, and he didn’t get any better. His lips would squirm as he tried to get the words out, but ultimately, they remained tightly closed. The line wasn’t even that long.

Okay. Let’s break up.

It was only two sentences long. As long as he said those words, the scene would be complete.

In the end, NaYeon was furious and announced that she couldn’t shoot anymore. NaYeon’s face was too swollen from all the crying, so they couldn’t do another shot today. Jaewon had no reason to ask her to stay. With no other option left, the staff members began to clean up the shoot. Just as Taewan was about to go home, Jaewon grabbed him and forced him into his office apartment.

“Huu, I’m scolding you like this, but you still won’t say anything?”

“I’m sorry.”

Taewan apologized again. There was not an ounce of sincerity in those words.

“Do you think I’m saying all this because I want to hear those words? What’s the problem, huh?”

Frustrated beyond belief, Jaewon opened his mini-fridge and pulled out a bottle of soju. Then he poured it into his mug until it was half-full before gulping it down. He glared at Taewan as if the liquor hadn’t soothed his anger at all.

Jaewon had a tight schedule, and he was angry about being unable to get a shot out of today’s filming. But above all, he was worried. He was worried that he’d lose Kang Taewan, a very good actor, without knowing the reason.

While Jaewon could trust Kang Taewan and hand him a few opportunities, the celebrity world was not as generous. Even if one was at the peak now, they could hit rock bottom in a matter of moments. This was normal in the celebrity world. Kang Taewan was still young, had incredible talent, and still held a lot of promise. Jaewon didn’t want to see an actor like him crumble.

“Break-up scenes require a lot of emotion and can be difficult to pull off. But it’s not a difficult scene for someone like you. You’ve done harder scenes than this before. So what’s the problem now?”

Jaewon softened his voice as he asked. He spoke tenderly, as if he were trying to coax an answer out of Taewan.

“I can’t figure it out myself.”

There was no emotion in Taewan’s face. He also didn’t seem to know what was going on.

“What is it? What happened? Did you truly get your heart broken? Did you break up, huh?”

Jaewon tossed those words out casually without much thought, but he saw Taewan’s brows furrow. It was the first time he’d seen Taewan react like this. Taewan usually didn’t react to anything Jaewon said, so this came as a shock to him.

“…What… Really?”

“……”

“You broke up?”

Jaewon frowned. He was one of the few people who knew about Taewan and HaYeon. To put it more accurately, he didn’t know anything about HaYeon, but he knew that Taewan had a girlfriend whom he had been dating for a long time. He happened to overhear Taewan talking on the phone and found out. Taewan asked him to keep it a secret.

Therefore, Jaewon would ask from time to time, ‘Are you still going strong with that girlfriend of yours?’ And whenever he did this, Taewan would bring his finger to his lips and go, ‘Shh.’

Being a celebrity meant that you were surrounded by temptations. Even in this kind of situation, Taewan managed to love only one woman. Jaewon found this even more admirable, and his impression of Taewan rose higher.

“Why? Did you tell her you wanted to break up?”

Jaewon’s anger completely disappeared.

“No.”

“Then she did?”

Jaewon asked in disbelief. Taewan’s silence answered his question. Taewan stretched out his hand and grabbed Jaewon’s cup. He drank about a third of the soju before he put the cup down. The puzzles settled into place in Jaewon’s head.

The reason why Taewan had acted so coldly to NaYeon. The reason why his expression was so blank.

…The reason why he couldn’t say ‘Okay. Let’s break up.’

If this is the reason, then I can’t even get mad at him anymore.

Jaewon thought bitterly.

“Aigoo, so you’re human too. Judging from the way you always ran forward, I thought you weren’t.”

“……”

“If you’re sitting here like this and ruining your life over it, why don’t you just go back and grab her?”

Jaewon asked in a tired voice.

“I can’t.”

Taewan’s voice was gruff.

“Why not? If you want her that much, you need to hold onto her.”

“Because I know how long she agonized over a decision like that before she said the words. She’s not the type of girl who says things easily.”

“……”

“She really wanted to break up.”

Taewan’s eyes regained focus. They had dated for over ten years. Rather than holding the title as his ‘girlfriend’, it would be more accurate to call her ‘family’. Because both of them had been poor when it came to love, they treated each others’ hearts so preciously as they grew up together.

And because of this, Taewan could clearly see how much HaYeon had agonized over this decision before she said the words. She took her time to choose the right words from the thousands she could have used instead. And each time she chose a word, it would have pierced her heart. Her heart would have twisted inside her chest, and she would have cried for a long time…

A dark shadow cast over Taewan’s eyes.

“I still don’t know the reason. Why did she want to break up? I did my best. Even if I grabbed her now, I knew that we’d break up for the same reason next time. And I didn’t have the courage to hear her ask to break up a second time.”

Taewan’s lips moved as the words flowed out.

Although they hadn’t gone to a lot of places and accumulated memories with each other, he thought they were adequately in love. He had done his best. So he didn’t know why the love had come to an end.

And now he didn’t know how he felt. Did he truly break up with HaYeon? Should he accept it or should he deny it?

“When you say you ‘did your best’, what did you do?”

Jaewon pulled out another bottle of soju from the fridge. His sudden question caused Taewan to shut his mouth. After thinking it over for a moment, he opened his lips.

“I didn’t let her feel jealous of others. I didn’t want her to be looked down on by her family for choosing to be with someone like me.”

“……”

“I wanted to do my best and be successful. At the very least, I didn’t want her to have a hard time because of me.”

“And is that what she wanted?”

Jaewon rubbed his hand over his prickly beard. When Taewan was about to answer his question, Jaewon spoke up first.

“Was doing your best the best thing for her? Are you certain?”

Jaewon’s eyes grew sharp. When Taewan didn’t say anything, he continued.

“It could be possible that your best went in a different direction. The direction you went with all of your might could have been in a direction that led you further away from her.”

“……”

“Ah, I really want to smoke. I gotta smoke a cigarette because of you, you bastard.”

Jaewon took out a cigarette from the storage closet and put it in his mouth. Smoke flowed out of his parted lips. He looked at Taewan who sat silently in front of him.

This was the first time something like this had happened. Jaewon could see an image of his young self overlapping with the Taewan in front of him.

His lips moved of its own accord.

“When I was young, there was a time when I overslept.”

Jaewon extinguished his cigarette by rubbing the end against the bottom of the ashtray. He glanced up at Taewan. Taewan missed a beat and looked back at him a moment later.

“That day, the most important thing I needed to prepare and bring was a bamboo flute. I held it tightly in my grasp as I sprinted to school. I was lucky enough to make it in time. I didn’t have to receive punishment. I thought I succeeded. I wasn’t punished, and the flute was in my hand. But everything got twisted since that day. As I ran over to school, the keys and money in my pockets had disappeared. That day was especially rainy, so I was out in the rain for hours as I looked all over for it. I caught a cold, and I was hungry. I was so depressed, but all my mother did was yell at me for losing my keys. As I shivered in the cold, I grit my teeth and vowed to never let this happen again. But it happened again. When I was older.”

“……”

“I ran forward with all I had so that I could succeed, but by the time I realized it, the wife, daughter, and son that were in my pocket had fallen out. I didn’t know where I’d dropped them, so I couldn’t even go back to pick them up. And even if I knew where I’d dropped them, they were so precious, so there’s no way someone else hadn’t picked them up. Someone had already taken them away by then.”

“……”

“That’s what it means to run with all your might in life. You end up losing everything but the very thing you’re running towards.”

“……”

“In order to reach the beautiful goal, you end up losing something even more beautiful.”

Jaewon let out a resigned sigh as he reminisced about the past.

“Don’t make the same mistakes I did.”

“……”

“Don’t lose your happiness for success.”

Jaewon’s voice was gruff.