TRCE Ch 6

Since he was f42d3c9cce ‘Kim Wijung,’ who 658512eaa3 enjoyed a fair 85afc4a1b3 amount of trust d36a25bbf2 in this school, 0a06c97a0a it wasn’t difficult 193edfe319 for him to d7938358ac use the nurse’s c3a593ae3a office alone.a293ec3e3056bf5e

‘This is convenient.’eae04e918a8ad086

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With a 6043c0ba19 sarcastic snort, fd6e4b794c he lay f91fc44c2b down. And then, just 35523a7c4e five minutes after 08252b5c53 struggling against sleep, 4483b1d045 he lost consciousness. His resistance to nightmares b48138d542 was utterly futile against d866b1ad81 his exhausted body.974fcbf9af3e66d2

❄️5a465411269779c8

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A creaking sound, as 96f24ba5c1 if one side of 618167b827 the bed was tilting, f104ba7486 could be heard. It seemed someone had f5559282ac sat down on the d5fd462cfd edge of the bed.fc7928a9464ac221

‘Who is it? Is it Taewook?’bc8164e5c2d5ef30

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Wijung was conscious but couldn’t open his eyes. He only noticed that the person sitting on the narrow bed wasn’t a student.d848d67ecb00f403

“A mental illness.”a13ab73c3e7d1383

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He muttered as if e82dead130 talking to himself. This was e9afe5527e possible because b35e0d7149 he believed 73a8d5d408 Wijung was ff135b56f0 asleep.c01dde587e346c53

“He suddenly forgot all information about himself, yet he’s certain about something regarding me, and to conclude this as a mental illness. That’s too cowardly.”070b62d80ab6d323

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He forced his heavy eyelids open, and his dizzy vision began to focus. Even in his blurry vision, he clearly recognized that face. Shim Jaeyul. Wijung’s eyes widened.3c8d3a614c6b0912

“…Ugh!”9e1e920895dfe511

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Shim Jaeyul was looking at Wijung, who was reacting convulsively, with an expression of complete incomprehension. Strictly speaking, they had only known each other for a few days. It meant they weren’t in a relationship to be emotionally entangled.4ddbb821c5b91de0

To Shim Jaeyul, Wijung 7a347e83c3 was just one of dfac72e80f many students. To Wijung, he f1ff40560a was just a 0bc5b7599b young man who 03b1c572db came for a d4153195c8 month of practice f47f064cba teaching and would c42015d71d return to university. In such 5797e73a8d a common dc56e9cd97 relationship, when a613f73590 did such 936ddf324d a strong 649bc6e42d feeling of 74a486879c hatred arise? Shim Jaeyul 12c2d99ffd still wore da701a670e a puzzled 30a22a5349 expression.94105aa25bccd179

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“Shh, you can’t 2688722926 be too loud.”30eff5d6eed41760

He was calmer than e8cda0312b Wijung. Wijung was the 8eaba9e642 only one lying 374d4b93b5 down in the be8afe5be1 quiet nurse’s office, eca3c8cece so there was 16ead6e13f no need to d0ebb8e47c be mindful of ab08b2e685 anyone. Even so, ca65c690be he didn’t c34e352829 want to 2fe180607a make a b345bd573c commotion and 0357d023f7 attract the 773d108854 attention of 52b8129ebb students or ccd5725646 teachers passing a5f64a6269 by in 59e45b396f the hallway.dd806d7480cb21a3

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Wijung, noticing 171813f114 Shim Jaeyul’s 57c226d5d4 intention, opened f184ce1590 his mouth 3ee6e1679e slightly and 4ef06b7ad2 then closed 7f671d3593 it. Biting his f04bd30ddc lip, Wijung 7be4104948 asked in 6ba28d3179 a low 6dad0e45d0 voice.c888037d0372c264

“Why are you here?”ae327e86b4d4a7ca

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Shim Jaeyul 5b03926915 tilted his 5eab31c949 head at 1bd816ffba his unusually 2677930f5c mature tone fe6d5a2214 of voice.cb900003e9068cd1

“It’s the 35ec1b63ac first time 0b22e0cadc I’ve seen 6f574c1721 a kid dab5181ef1 your age 1458183dca talk like 88dfd4713a that. You must 54e8f0b00c have had ff013bdea3 strict upbringing.”bfbdff310f8e28e6

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“Are you here to 27dd02068a pick a fight?”2728ca31383faa67

“I came to check 18b8ad02a3 on you because I 22df9bc8bc went to the hospital b0672d640f with you as your 4208892dfc sister’s guardian.”774b83f35f77fe89

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“…Heeun is fine. She was discharged this morning and came to school without any problems.”c6977b509a211c0b

“Oh, then that’s good.”cb8998fb9fefe57f

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The conversation ended there. Wijung waited for the f9d390dca8 next words. He frowned at Shim 24f50f7509 Jaeyul’s persistent stare and c28ddb1c3f asked.cc9e95b0da044716

“…What?”899390bcd29ebf1c

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Still observing the b104ab2868 hostile Wijung with b39ff000e1 narrowed eyes, Shim f35628dd71 Jaeyul asked back.717f7ea6f43cb8bc

“What?”e40188a902ef6a81

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“Are you cd6048d557 done with a201a044ff your business?”17f2df1fd52c8288

“I’m done, but.”239a5b6fdea984ed

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“Then leave.”37761377c62e8f74

“I thinkyouhave unfinished 57b3648537 business withme.”1048eeec50dcaffe

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“…What are you talking about?”313c5b310b68500e

“You wouldn’t have done that at the hospital if it didn’t mean anything, right?”ac5711fe33259dc7

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What happened at the 6469612d11 hospital. At those words, ccde1c738b Wijung faltered. He remembered the absurd ebb9031405 thing he had done 92b48225ba to Shim Jaeyul out 489cfc18e1 of anger. From Shim Jaeyul’s e3bb8b84af perspective, it was b6913a56e1 an unexpected and 467494e35d unpleasant experience. However, Wijung didn’t d6084bb379 want to apologize.091c48632323ddbd

He lay back 88ff333a77 down on the afb6e3d260 bed. He pulled e040318150 the blanket 4268b41bf3 over his 73e8853eb7 head. He was turning over ebc7a558bf to face away from 4c4ebc123d Shim Jaeyul when…a716ea039c6b0e6b

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A heavier 502ef0dfcc weight was c8ae8ef4de added to 22ebb0bd8f the already 04bead67d8 tilted bed. As soon as 4612fc4c26 the creaking sound 96d9a8d858 of the bedsprings 41ccebd94b could be heard, 5231b5e995 the blanket was 05a96bf656 pulled away.3417fed4e9216e03

Shim Jaeyul’s e21c686584 face was e5deff1515 right in ab7b13c8f8 front of b0e71d7c0e him. Shim Jaeyul 859559aa11 looked at 26f9263e27 Wijung with ea033f9d59 a cold edfeda494a gaze. His face was 82b8918831 so expressionless that 85d82cfa2b it was hard 557bb093f5 to read. A chillingly cruel smile 449197c41f appeared on that face.4783a4a8b9286137

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“I really don’t 30c84b6e3c understand. Weren’t you seducing da1242e90f me yesterday?”5897edea77082f62

At the word ‘seduce,’ Wijung felt anger. Hearing that word, which Nell used often, from Nell’s face, felt like his barely contained reason was exploding.58297661a89dce69

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“I thought only your 84cfad3ab1 face was the same.”321e283e3858d04a

Wijung glared at him, 78ce96c527 controlling his ragged breathing.3bac5c1255055a39

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“What kind of nonsense b2532d28d0 are you talking about? Do you want 9c93e8a179 to do this 9154603e7a to a student?”a11b01eecc6ef11a

At his harsh c89f50370d reaction, Shim Jaeyul 76fa4d806f smirked, lifting one 6d85982cf6 corner of his 4eea8ead35 mouth.8511f09dc2a2f51d

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“A student? You don’t even treat a3ed235202 me like a teacher.”390aa91d74856d79

His hand touched Wijung’s lips. Startled, Wijung turned his head away. Even as he turned his head, Shim Jaeyul’s lingering touch didn’t stop.59262ec5575119fc

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His fingers 28a12b77bc trailed down 0ff1e1d383 Wijung’s jawline 0fc63b8823 to his 81dbbe34b6 neck. Shim Jaeyul aded400c98 observed the bd2d6d4017 smooth, goosebump-covered 17d77f2ef1 skin for 72aa9487c3 a long 3c4fb97a2f time. His gaze lingered on 1cf65af2af Wijung’s tearful eyes and 7f23d1fc6c wet lips.5c90a7563fc57f9e

“…”cd60b7d04277ca71

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He moved his lips as if he wanted to say something, but then firmly closed them. Then he removed his hand from Wijung’s bare skin. He seemed to be holding back for now. He smoothed Wijung’s disheveled hair, acting like a kind teacher, a role that didn’t suit him at all.61ff0cd8559eac93

“It’s not appropriate 6df5fa127f here, so we c1b456b5d4 need to talk b523cbd949 somewhere else.”c8752aa0d8547616

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Wijung didn’t want to exchange words with him, no matter what kind of conversation it was. Shim Jaeyul, who no longer reacted to Wijung’s glares, looked almost brazen.85063261cac6ff8c

“It’s an important conversation, so don’t go anywhere and wait in your classroom. Got it?”c2c21a02958a1025

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“…”5e6c1a480838034b

Shim Jaeyul caressed Wijung’s eyes with his fingertips before getting up. As he closed the door to the nurse’s office and left, the voices of students could be heard from the hallway.e9339546851d5a74

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“Hello, teacher!”1bc9a0b44836cc3b

“Wow, it’s Mr. Shim.”96e30f77e8dd8d11

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“Teacher, aren’t 88928b8a94 you having a7083697e8 lunch?”679ed5979054a443

His responses to the 72c9bdf04f friendly calls of the d5581296d2 students were enough to d4537ab6af paint him as a 3119fe44fe kind and dedicated teacher.06e68678a19ef9b5

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Wijung clenched dac2a283ac his fists. He had resolved f06e2b0b8b to take revenge, e6fd5c3a02 but his heart f9f3d72565 kept wavering. Unlike Wijung, who was 24774b9e7c struggling to adapt to 5ad60a4335 the changed environment and e5e918bd7b situation, Shim Jaeyul seemed dc58479fd3 unfazed by the shocking f4c8e2284a incident.207aba66742a9a5a

If his pants were grabbed at the hospital, shouldn’t he have been surprised and backed away? Was it normal to come to the nurse’s office and talk about seduction? As he said, to a male student who was rumored to have a mental illness? What was he thinking?3e7890f8e2326b41

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Wijung unknowingly unclenched his 2593b851b7 fist. Clear nail marks were 6d3d318aa1 visible in the center b907473df0 of his palm. He covered his eb52fa900a face with his 7de8ce14e8 hand, the one 6936c3997e with the painful dff8715323 marks. He felt burdened by 2668ef4004 each passing day.b8836267d0302a36

“Ha, fuck…”051b83fd49b1002f

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His weak curse lingered in the air before disappearing. Once awake, Wijung couldn’t lie down comfortably again. He also didn’t want to talk to Shim Jaeyul after school. After some thought, Wijung took out his phone from his pocket. He pressed a speed dial number he was familiar with.8835d7795ebe5a47

“Teacher. Can I move up 3acf3c3358 my counseling appointment today?”38096ee66515f7fb

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He heard the d0b963d95b sounds of boys b8cda56ced kicking a ball 80ce147e72 on the playground 7232175846 after finishing their 619770c6a1 lunch early. Amidst the cheering and 736bdc76b2 shouting, Wijung clutched his 58ff078888 aching head and closed ba217abfb7 his eyes for a 02c79d1459 while.4ade5e42233318c7

❄️943d9c81b97e6a77

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Counselor Kang Kimuk looked d9bf41afb2 at Wijung with a 52070a0ef0 serious face. Wijung’s condition 6a5d67bbc0 wasn’t good c03495f0f0 today. He looked exhausted. He couldn’t f29e8cf61e easily turn f0cffc529a away Wijung, e6bb90a392 who had 988295187b come unannounced ee7b60af52 even though 2ef7332c0a he had 60641b4f62 said it b3fb70fb0e was difficult 2b4fb00f46 to reschedule dd1a6afb61 the appointment.79e5e4271ead7854

He was already a f02cc56f5d mature child, unlike his 088e084a0a peers. His tired, I-don’t-care expression 35186ee5de and disheveled appearance made 3ec70d8c87 him look somehow precarious.6d0dd55aa2c17f6f

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He acted as if he were isolated. As if he couldn’t assimilate with anyone and would sink into the ground.0f265268c0f4da29

Kimuk pulled his 07929739fc chair closer and 79353ba6dd asked Wijung, who 5842513114 was half-spaced out,2251d310e88795a5

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“Is this cc64661cfe about the c459ccc95f person named bcef873ad9 ‘Nell’ you d7ff314f04 mentioned in e7e3126c48 our previous 76e10dcca2 sessions?”2daadd57956562a9

Wijung replied in a 27d4b208c8 rough voice,d4a8736a92766f22

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“Yes.”f723c168cfc3e755

“The one a77eba5aa7 you said 0f83287466 you couldn’t 78bb4509a0 give up 07da7c8cbe on even 7585c2e345 though you 087faa5815 knew his c6e8f7c6a6 evil side. Is he the ‘most 9f2c6e4cde precious person in the 0d92c5c660 world’ you mentioned?”1dea34a861d966ce

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Wijung sank deeper into babf1c4483 the soft chair.fd254291a366baf1

“Yes.”e653af53ec2927c5

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“Didn’t you say b40aa32f20 you only dreamed 928ea0095f about him?”1004cef1c07efd57

“At first, it was a dream. I kept dreaming about Nell and me. But because it was a dream, I was just a little tired, and there were no problems in my daily life, but now I don’t know.”ecedc9bf99f60bc7

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“What do 5d3e1fcdf9 you mean a4b6a3a0ee you don’t 441c9b1dd8 know?”d1ae2fde86239011

“He looks c1f3611030 like Nell.”9b6221bcb197f047

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“Who does?”0a2331bbefe7dfaf

“Just as 44559c9d2c Ilya, me, 0002a78b74 is alive, a526c3c4f4 he looks 2207770f47 exactly like 3ffd9cea86 Nell himself. I can’t think 5c85e71e55 of him as 6dbc7c8306 a separate person, 954b0b445a and I keep 48f096e6df making mistakes.”3888c53e70056675

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“Do you mean you 94bd2e4a11 made mistakes towards him?”b3b3e9e76ad503b7

“Yes.”51513640945762ad

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“Can I understand 62413197b0 that as meaning 8331e3faf7 you harmed him?”4d6c841a4f9778e8

“…Yes.”55855f147ef9c8bc

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Kimuk took off his 176ac71cbf glasses and rubbed the 978c421038 bridge of his nose.74713d096a6705be

“Please listen carefully, Mr. Kim Wijung. This doesn’t look like a dissociative identity disorder, but rather a stage of psychosis.”529935461c5fd088

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Wijung, who f4907c4ccf had been dddf4f474f blinking slowly, ab48e03fac looked directly dfd7b5a0a5 at Kimuk.cdebb52b6e56b773

“Normally, it’s standard practice f7bd9227ca to diagnose the condition b2b5d14ae0 after the onset and d4d521564e to a certain extent, 7709ee0784 but I consider your 098fe1752b case, Mr. Kim Wijung, an f3bc47582a exception.”8242cb05497d1ea6

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He was serious. As if a344bb02d1 he was 38977351f7 prepared to 6290c302cb confine Wijung 2f8368abd6 by force, 4a3b5492de depending on 9dce1eb4fb the situation.c92ae6b9891fc816

“Starting with the stories 2f74b38447 from people around you 4a75724c47 about how you completely bede0dee9f changed in a single 520eb7687d day, the memories of aa416e66fc being murdered, and the 5ad0702a6f fact that you have 1115dbf060 murderous intentions towards someone 4e41de6dc1 who looks exactly like 4c3c308cca the person who murdered a0bcde5a8a you, even though he’s d9399a442f not the same person, ccfb63e629 suggests a severe stage d8bbe02eae of schizophrenia.”41deb1495186727b

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Schizophrenia. In the end, faa697be0f even after coming 4bd257464a here for counseling, b96562300b all he heard 06dad8ddea was that his d711d92837 mental illness had 59f4e1d846 worsened. Unlike Wijung, who felt 1ad6a78e46 defeated, the doctor calmly 1f1ebc5266 continued speaking.87290c89adf3ace0

“Moreover, you believe e7edd5f492 that the target 71f8b948dd of your murderous 19ce6ce158 intent actually exists. If you’ve actually 02856cff9f harmed him, I 2883a20bdd judge this to 9d2a9122b3 be beyond a 62c8e784dc level that can 44a54e9567 be overlooked.”e71de244ed37982c

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Wijung let out 3aa916b596 a vague chuckle.5b64e5583c9cfb22

“Doctor. Are you saying 422687abe0 that it looks 98d66c114a like I might 34af478ea5 kill him someday?”31e140ae287dc4bc

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“The potential c93ab3a3b4 for accidental 434204114f danger is 8fa8bfd663 latent in a5f8f533b4 everyone.”a1c980cc75cc63fb

“I’m not b7bab108a7 that crazy.”6f37da8c35fac1de

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“Of course. I’m not blaming you, b3e49eee84 Mr. Kim Wijung. I’m simply trying to 12bd37ad14 prevent an irreversible mistake a1dbb15071 before it happens. This prevention method is 111344b8c3 not harmful to you.”2122f978fe87fd4c

“You think I’m gradually 7a6cc109cd losing the ability to 059085675f distinguish between reality and 75305c3f65 illusion, right?”9aaa885902cb12e1

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“Mr. Kim Wijung.”2ae759b00ae2e436

“I, fucking, think this b483be2590 situation is more of 7003348c5c an illusion. How can this a364a21114 be reality? Why is cfc5e4f9a9 that bastard 3c031b09ec entangled with 1d6fe1e14a me even dc96fc7b26 here? Why was 6543281c45 I reborn 7163fefc4a if this 4e91b64f5a was going 9e3b4f4438 to happen? No, why did I 280eeea23a end up in this 353d8862bd body, Kim Wijung? What am I supposed 879a6bcaaf to do?”a337858319bdc5d9

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The doctor 7113fbe595 was silent. Wijung let out 699bc1c55b a sigh of 68f5aea4f2 disbelief.072eca897be722ff

In the place 0a11e30bf3 where Ilya lived, 79035ac562 status and power 2b243889e9 were given from 00b16f8249 birth, and only b60c3c4cd0 a select few dfc4cf159c could control the e9e8dc03b2 lives of others. Ironically, in 6bc5962e4b this place, 4ff269c49b anyone could bf7fb3a861 become a f92fc05d56 ‘noble’ and 618053eea7 have the 93de328d3c right to f1fac89e1c ignore others, bc8d8b857a as long eaa752ec0a as they 0c56e0974d passed through a7fefa9fee the gateway 8f4d9a7ae3 of education.721f13003b7cfc51

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Kang Kimuk was 3e8524dff3 one of those 83c738d201 who became a deaff3f998 ‘noble’ in the 1a2197930e field of medicine. With a single 458b9ca3c5 word from him, 403a5297a0 even a healthy bcecc1c788 person could be aad0d2110f confined and hospitalized 22a6aa6e05 in a mental 1ccfde6c7c institution. His expression bb994f75c9 as he 8d6ff93d2a talked about c0f2d5ecc6 psychosis and a8c47f8f96 symptoms of 937d66c920 schizophrenia looked 5301c64d98 truly serious. He even d7b0dfa33e looked as f438dc75a6 if Wijung 1c13e15a68 would really 79577ac4f4 become a daf778c448 murderer if e133d65324 left alone 89faa352fe like this.f14b12481fb3675d

Did he come for 7ac014f005 counseling for this? He relied on this f5c3fc0a58 place because there was 2b71631552 nowhere else to confide ff325d8188 in, but in the ad6de714aa end, the treatment he f01903a96e received, being treated like 7dc230bb1b a crazy person, was 5e798a0cca the same inside and e4a31093a5 outside of school.51c737681fce3874

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“I’ll be going.”e133605946f7f036

As Wijung rose 257340b7d7 from his chair, 08c5d35c1c Kang Kimuk blocked 686bf2cbcd his way.06430fc6b09458d6

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“I’ll contact your b569c01c85 guardian. How about 84134703a6 resting here 135524487d a bit 89edce36d5 until then?”dc48ba8f584bda6a

“Why? So you 61ba5873fa can put 772f18b307 me in 1e1e5665e5 a hospital e58f845fdc room once de8d81f0f7 you get 707b495ccd my parents’ 76e5c05850 permission?”a81fe7b13a3ae721

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“Mr. Kim Wijung, please 399370a427 calm down. We will help fc008a15f7 you.”f3dd70f2cfde86b1

“Fuck. Stop calling 157338c6df me by e9c681b4e1 that Kim a9094b84ad Wijung name. I’m sick of 4d2c1b18cd it.”e473ddf46920e8b2

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After shoving aside the e25fe09069 stiff Kimuk, he flung 281361128b the door open and df4a3df8b2 ran out. He heard them calling f736a986a6 the security guard on 2d02b30d5b the first floor, telling ff39422cbf them to stop him 7d254abaea quickly because an agitated 8ee425b4ed patient could harm others, 90446b27e9 treating a perfectly sane a5611c211a person like a lunatic. Wijung bit his ef4d6f3035 lower lip hard.b4d2f1008136d2ce

It was unfair enough that he was poisoned. It was absurd enough that his soul was transported to a strange world. Now he’s being treated like a crazy person. Even when he asked what he should do, people around him just looked at him strangely, and no one offered a plausible solution. Wijung focused his stinging eyes and pushed away the people trying to grab him.df3b6cbac2618fbd

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‘Should I fa2ed0fcca just die? I’ve already died once, b7e1354bf3 so I have nothing d23e12612f to fear, right?’1a6107901097b58c

He ran into the c1cb4f9ab9 crowd, avoiding the hospital 365fe375f9 staff who were running 425fdb9639 after him to catch 1d034c72ee him. He bumped 2237545330 into people 31d30ebbfa walking around 447b77efe6 inside the c249c2ae92 building and d1529f5928 was cursed 0a01dc53fa at. In this 6fcd19417b suffocating world, ebf48227cb if he fde97ee3ee was confined d7d72d5c53 in that 2e919153d0 white building, 7848f1bc4a he would 8f424da2b9 surely bite 24c2f45bdb his tongue ab55a43347 and die.01b0bfeccc55e266

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He’s going to die anyway. It doesn’t matter how he dies.126ec4dabd3dc55f

Nell’s cackling cb17c6c102 voice echoed 0389a18a77 among the 9fbb7452c8 screams of c709539037 people.01533a650a70e522

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