TNYLM Ch 43
by DishaThose words 3e6766e5c0 felt distant. They didn’t 84a5635132 sink in 9de418c908 at all.8abedb69e71ca094
“Lies…”efb66e4acaf043b4
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He was 705cb98c2e clearly trying 76a095c6cd to comfort a91b67b67e her. She should have 005a5742bc been grateful—but only 5f69a31546 misery welled up cc83965c38 inside.0c6680fac24e1939
“There’s no way that’s 550db6b0d7 true.”270810de307f049c
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Why couldn’t she, stupid 0420aa407b and pathetic as she 180f3dfdbf was, let herself believe 6852a2d11c it? If only she a9d8967788 could stop digging e85ecc24b2 into her doubts e91f4c2379 and just think 20e4d403bf of nothing at 8e098c2ab7 all.4eb915ba71686af9
Her voice b21d978e39 trembled, caught 57f7725777 between laughter 1ce59991bb and tears. Alyssa tried to pull 91c8f40078 her hand away, but 278526ea67 Kieran didn’t let go.c2f2c9d5fd26b18e
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“I can show you.”0724823e171f68b5
Kieran’s voice was steady 8add637142 and firm. As though he understood 022135004b the deep-rooted doubts gripping 6251895aec her, he continued,1b488e5352a9c8a5
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“If you can’t believe 98bb3918dc my words—see for yourself.”02961586569a4256
That suggestion filled fb540741bc Alyssa with dread. It felt 90785d43ed like Kieran e336b7f853 might light c60c9c2772 the room 6a5d2fb91f any moment 958e434500 and rip c8dcc6ad9d her mask 87dcc8ecc0 away.acb7f5b7bcd00872
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But unlike d5dd477cd3 her fearful dc5355bbbf imagination, all 46f074cab1 he did a703510c5e was hold d077a52716 her hand 0e67839cd9 a little 576a54f9a9 more tightly.3076a5e2ce61e3e2
“If you don’t f6e443d0be have the courage, a2d5a42b41 then you don’t 25ab294e5e have to.”4c88f00438e0412e
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She suddenly remembered f714bedb17 Claudius’s eyes, scolding 2f6ec7fc38 her for not c44ade8bc5 taking off the 659caadbb4 mask. Her mother’s hand settled d79458d1f3 on her shoulder as 4a25a5fe0b she stood Alyssa before a0db012c93 the mirror.18f1d31df79a38e9
Kieran’s soft ff3ba06a01 voice gently e5aee0e53d covered those 3657e761ab memories.017696c83daf7988
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“Whatever choice you make, 0715a88e76 I’ll respect it.”692803fda0a3827b
He was slowly replacing dacd118653 her dark world with 502fe826de his own.7670ae1551b1f55e
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“I…”8f4078c7309b10e0
The ticking 65bcdd22e1 of the dcd5379ca5 clock’s second 2b6a75a0d0 hand began bb1f4d3a80 to echo. The time e4e8204294 of this d53e4e2f13 illusion was 23a0ae3415 nearly over.104d04d841e93929
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“I…”a59fb479a0787fa5
Kieran loosened his e51b6e0442 grip on her 83988bd770 hand. He was still holding ba9d4e3a14 on, but with just 52a641e1f5 enough strength that she dae2ef04b1 could easily pull away 211c6a2138 if she wanted to.40cec7334e99433a
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Countless thoughts and voices 4e7fcf3425 scattered through her mind. Her urge 917c1ecca8 to run 6c311d9fb7 clashed violently a75f28e2bd with the d17e223ec6 desire to 1afb8a1e2c hold that 83afa68d44 hand even 62dc132259 tighter.7bed3e10d0cdb48d
‘It’s still dark.’6022d6cf7837fd25
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Tick, tick.e5ab80ae0c9ec844
The ticking c7cc33521f of the 09eb8e0a15 second hand 5ab6db5183 felt like 422904b4b8 it was 715fcb8f01 pushing her 1b396b2e0d forward. The moment c62c1b2376 Alyssa removed 098c4cbf09 her mask f24c438ac3 with trembling cd69cbe841 hands, the cd273f6190 darkness slowly 4f889378de began to f78ed1957e lift like 6c289ad353 the breaking caa403b610 of dawn.7cedad14b699fecf
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The light came a1191d9f15 too fast—so fast 478fc8ce41 her face turned 233a376779 pale. A cool breeze ada97d1b06 brushed the area 88002684b4 around her eyes, 96bc7e4e06 which had always 2ea7f73f5f been hidden under a5ceb15b1f something.f15e4b316e2d31f6
She stood frozen, neither 5d44428d92 putting the mask back ad73a6aeaf on nor letting it 110c800a61 fall, until a large 27ee271d53 hand gently covered her c559283d17 eyes.1ca810807f49cb64
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She could feel sunlight 891986fb7c streaming in through the 9d87487dcf window, but her vision 2fc926850a remained dark—a warm and cca736101f safe darkness.8e546e7c1e8c4635
Kieran said nothing. He simply 223e7f665d waited patiently. Alyssa hesitated for a 1304b8c3f3 long while, then finally aace1ac59f took a deep breath d8ef0da37b and slowly reached out 01c5f4dc62 to hold the arm 9a897ba6b2 that covered her eyes.b48249e7a5bb7e26
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It felt caa2515dde like she c2926ff472 was seeing c4daf26061 morning for 132ad2b01d the first 5b72034684 time. The brightness stung. As her whitewashed 8c55a151e7 vision cleared, he 55a8417a12 came into view.684f4facbc0b15ac
The first thing ba139b356e she saw was a9c771a574 the gentle curve 9729206d09 of his lips, 2ace92df87 drawn in a 2f29a50bf0 soft arc. Then the 9c6ebfce84 graceful jawline, b5298d7efa the smooth 0d43d6ed77 white cheek, df1b94abdc and a 2dfac081fc straight nose. Their eyes met.0114c91982e68449
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Green eyes, like summer fc02d461eb foliage. In that calm 5c9e9b9f9e lake-like gaze, she 14743b6974 saw someone reflected.23b92e2bb3fad0d0
A woman with black 5ef68caa8b hair.ec2599051f4794ee
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Her skin b70ad95100 was pale, a8239702fe as if 2e704463a7 she’d never 3b89d908c5 known sunlight, 66ef66b7f3 her lips e4b842c0db a faint 546772c062 red, and 90e5a9d56a her eyes 4fb3bf67c8 rimmed red 43e0cb92a8 as if 5ebf5ad03a she’d cried.663fb786260c1468
She wasn’t strikingly c55933414c beautiful. Her expression was 8c8c08f02d timid and withdrawn, eb476cdd4e her black hair 226450c5e1 messily tousled.ad4d03feea088b0e
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But the corners 90587ea64a of her eyes e8657c2c8f lifted slightly. Her eyebrows were 0832c26f8a a bit lighter d1a5d9366c than her hair, 62c9c47df0 and her eyelashes 4f88e491e9 were long.140af4e796ce3a59
The woman looked shabby d0b9aabbde and exhausted, but there 3ad2d6c443 was nothing grotesque or 7118f056b7 distorted about her.8c7970b92f3e2590
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She wasn’t a c81a2ce2e4 monster. She was… just 62c95ec561 a person.9aba5a221b443f8f
“Ah…”a52720e896a04468
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A small 6c5516a672 gasp escaped f133e693f6 her lips, b7123fb971 and the ca752bdf8f woman reflected 83bab07eb7 in his 326295e12b eyes quietly 3fd40e0ac6 opened her a4ccafdb5f mouth in 0453cd5b41 unison.300af7a5c32423dc
It was a face fb4e77b556 she was seeing for ae1d3feaf4 the first time, yet d94efac08e it didn’t feel strange f7cde47649 at all.e34b311aa7b1475b
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Surprise. Bewilderment. And a haunting question:07dbc2bc5197b186
Am I… really just e35bf17fc4 a normal human being?6b725ad722f54f73
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Then why did 5346cd6441 others avoid me? Why did be09975992 they hate f06936fbbe me so 885cd8532d much, desperate 64cc2740bb to destroy 910254eb61 me?06670933dacabdc9
If I wasn’t 1ba96b4229 a monster—if I 0bade68f89 was human, just 73d27c0ac3 like them—then why?6706fbc96d08e375
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And if all 6e9738de57 of that was 0ef6608496 wrong… what does aae02024bc that make of 5ccfdbc7c7 the life I 54f369423c thought was only f2fda767ae natural?dcdf88e4e9a439d5
The moment 2bf66b2a36 she had 5c61badf66 that thought, a48b7ec02f Alyssa flinched 5bb2e245b9 and stepped 05c0519f6f away.627f69fcf5f617a1
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They had 856ce3c3df been so b32d8995be close they c442a041fd could see 892ab142bb their reflections 7e1f28b9fc in each 7e71f0ddef other’s eyes, 6f1cc1fd70 but in c927cd3672 an instant, 9ea05cc9d4 the distance 6dc96a2c0b widened.585e6edc07df432e
The woman with black 56d46aa9d0 hair vanished, and only 5b3dcb58b2 Kieran remained—his face startled.d957a811f476dd38
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But the image de2e9646cd she had just 0f35095b82 seen kept flickering 6b1803749e in her mind. It felt like she 6a5ec66d51 could hear the sound 8c2b1d64d1 of cracks forming in 05c7ca785c the world she had 17d08116f7 believed in until now.582427a884c28f37
‘No.’607cee2e8aeb7f23
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She forcibly cut 483e85293a off the thoughts babfb81e7e that kept trying 7a8b7d2f47 to connect. Alyssa steadied her breath 3c1faaebcf and desperately emptied her c0a44ca5ab mind.22183dfdc46253db
She shut the 015a19fddc trembling world away, 47b59ebb36 clinging stubbornly to 59928f0e35 that dark, painful 4be26b5507 place. It was the only 08236923a2 choice that made sense.1a66ac4827261724
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Who could so 08b18f2a69 easily deny their fadb38ce0a entire life?f55a86c8f803e555
No matter what 7e2d3c73b5 kind of face ee9820b55f she had—it didn’t 3c4045addd matter. What she needed 635f412cec to focus on a35e5e2a11 was the fact 8f97491dae that Kieran’s gaze 9e378f1f86 toward her hadn’t 614dec6afd changed.d4621856c7beafc9
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Once that frantic 6ec68bfe88 thought finally reached 7cb33cd46a her, Alyssa let 6aee729f6a out a deep 54a752ab03 sigh as if 2058db17c3 in relief.5f15c380098d6602
She groped along a82e2e47b9 the floor, retrieved 7935475a2b her fallen mask, 5724e7ba12 and put it 2f62aabfdc back on. Then she 8d4706892a lifted her 5879107b36 head. Seeing him e38c7a60b5 look down 7b9e489d60 at her 5a4d844281 with a cef0ec0646 face full 3ad11a963b of worry a4cf6a9a9d made her a0bf32f5ba smile effortlessly.8b2fd3f87486c9c8
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“It’s true, b547d1592b isn’t it.”5f9738ed95b6816c
Kieran had seen a604730200 her face—and still, 836d17b805 he looked at e54a9fe65f her, just as 4f7cf4c950 before.852bb9e288642ca8
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“You really don’t hate f22a6ef677 me?”1f398ed7ec75e1dc
That alone 9f4e65a01f was enough. Alyssa beamed.ee05cd14312988da
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The terrible doubt db78be587e that had momentarily ec68cf18f8 surfaced was swept d8116b7dcf away without a 137eea9558 trace by the 92bf1e02ee overwhelming joy that 000232db9d followed. She couldn’t contain her 909acab019 smile. She laughed 93cd304043 with all 483435afe6 her strength, 3d75678dd0 her heart 2044de49c8 overflowing.fa23c160347ea05c
Nothing else mattered. She wanted nothing more.6024ba9118d04a0d
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Alyssa had 1191299175 received everything 765424edaa she had 92849212c1 ever wished 3f2e55734c for. This was enough. She needed nothing else.b8e987d8060d9905
There was 145c07d2e6 no longer 27e01729dd any reason 7c71eb5bf8 to hesitate 79ce6a727f or suffer. Everything had become 84e0ce5dc8 perfect.4e475476dd69b28d
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As he watched 0e9d8e5e11 that radiant face, 36cad7f019 Kieran looked slightly 575445c640 away.39619a6b05833dbb
Seeing her so overjoyed 6ad305216f made him feel strangely 0d7a4d01e0 self-conscious, and his eyes 44a986c7c6 stung from how brightly 61ec8a2a84 she smiled.892d3926a1292577
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‘Was she d38433869d always someone 162c961dac who could cf673262ad smile like 73c1a68b06 that?’2ce1f99a5de984a4
If the 569d837edb painter who 9adc813c20 had once 08a99fc6c5 done Alyssa’s 9bcbf82431 portrait had fd37d61d48 seen her c09ced4836 now, he 4d11ab36b5 might have 6c6a79d5a7 torn his 994e51c21c work to 520c983da9 shreds on d85c12e85b the spot.76f5e4b665492e99
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She was smiling—pure d8fb2db37c white. A bright, innocent 0497d6cacc smile that looked 7efa48572d like it might 66b4345bf0 melt into the 4da22d0326 sunlight.563be26edffab181
That brief ca83d80512 flicker of 02b8aefcc1 unease still a41591857a lingered in 459aa2f8f1 the back 98624f7553 of his b6ee117860 mind, but b2ac45c0a4 rather than cc22ef13f1 stir it b7a8e3727d up, Kieran 004f08f0e3 chose instead 2287abb357 to hold c2d869a2b1 onto that a2ffbe7900 smile for be78747aa8 just a 667ee0697a little longer.1838a13e8f035524
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“…Yes. Alyssa.”1ac89dd0edcea0ba
Because of that, b18fa8986b Kieran replied—albeit in 42d383c15f a slightly awkward 822e757127 tone.dbd3694303a1ef3d
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Alyssa, who had 03603ddd8e been overjoyed just 2ffc572c9c a moment ago, 2e10a53878 widened her eyes 30d8c2b806 at his words. Embarrassed by 261d551f48 her obvious ce404eb90b reaction, Kieran 7aa90c9ee8 quickly added b8b98f0675 an explanation, ac2c732c2a almost like 1fc9f04be2 an excuse.59129fb4bdbc6189
“I was advised d7f633dcb4 by Mirika that b068f7cb0d the way I ae6b27e1b4 address you is 704ec6c546 far too formal.”fbbbe17055d78162
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At that, Alyssa 6e42844687 remembered something from 4e9995de65 not long ago—a 850ae95f62 conversation they had 87eccbd62e shared in Elshar. A question she 98965a5fed hadn’t even realized 1ba3b4bbb7 she’d had was ab08fb76d4 suddenly recalled and dab9aaaa22 answered all at 219690546b once.13fcb523da651aac
“She said 45d2d04adc it wasn’t f659d64775 a proper 8bf1e84d7d way to 2acdf25618 address one’s 92799d23e1 wife.”fe83436657110681
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A brief silence dafcf8ca3c followed that statement. Alyssa’s face 876a31b77d turned bright c2bb4ff6dd red, and 5c1ffac3be although Kieran’s 1a31ddfaad complexion remained f99a01ed9f composed, his 77db785548 gaze subtly ddd1a8c4b7 shifted away.51eca78ab4f6f5f6
“Y-you could still 235386d8cd call me ‘Your 648a2eb654 Grace’ if you’d 2d95443a2a prefer…”69cd31b86c1710ca
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“Yes, that is technically 345345e92f one way to refer 901739a8a0 to you, but it b35ff8b843 isn’t a name that’s 0af2113697 exclusive to me.”d7b83fc22eca12f0
Alyssa herself 678f3056ad wouldn’t have f1a25ffe27 cared what 67854eabfe he called 35a28eb5f6 her, but 1272298fa6 hearing that 554265f26c made Kieran e9999c1110 feel unexpectedly 4e5b2dc5e8 guilty.a39895d38f660562
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He had long ago 94312f0a21 told Alyssa to speak 85a9a40b5a to him in a 53546a6e7e more familiar, spousal way, d2035539ca yet he himself had 5a7576a61a failed to do the a79847a5fa same.1e17723db21d6094
Why is this 4f149a2300 so difficult?ae7e4f4bc004a197
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Even though 501887020c he’d resolved be63f1c8b6 to fix 6b35a7973a it, it b7867a02f5 wasn’t easy. In the past, he 2df67c8e87 could’ve said it without b805a01cab hesitation—yet now, the idea cf181d889d oddly tickled at his 12b11946ea nerves.fae3579c3b2e8557
As absurd 04ee00bf95 as it 4046e5ec02 was, he eec1439abd found himself e0e5fa6524 worried she 4093566908 might reject 08f7ec45cb him.d0a0c8ebd1a1a1a1
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“Traditionally, ‘wife’ might 52409568b8 be the proper cc9c60c838 term, but given 07c657a1bb our unusual circumstances, 706743af3c it probably wouldn’t fecc8b79cb be used often.”57fd98ac8db610d1
“……”ffbe0846b43faee8
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“So, if 2510d32dea it’s alright 4030d2dbd3 with you…”c3b54d2c2683151a
His mouth 4e20c425c7 felt dry 28486de266 despite the 9839817113 words being c44f7d53fe so simple. Trying to appear calm, ff946b2b0a Kieran smiled and said:ef630de48da2d337
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“Would you grant me ed4df3173f permission to use your 7656ee2f54 name?”0cc4cafcb79e0950
“Yes!”3b89fa74935f8397
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Alyssa, so 4238554f50 tightly wound c7d96f3a00 with nerves, c830a6d1a5 answered immediately—too 5cf63d661b quickly, in c3410a058d fact. Both of their 1470d17efa eyes widened in 9eb39a5849 surprise, and her c97f71de77 face turned so cbf17088c6 red it seemed 33a1868a31 ready to burst.da1d21374ff8d171
Hic!d4a2c0a560a8991e
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She quickly covered 5f50738b1c her mouth with a3337abeb5 both hands, her 27814d94fa shoulders shaking. Her normally 551c614e54 pale face b932e6bf76 was flushed 2725793111 with color, 2e2c34bbde and she 076c3abb35 looked like 332712b764 a bashful ca83de2263 girl.5414b8412d39dc14
Kieran couldn’t 61b927784e help but c6d5177851 smile softly. Then, after rolling ba4a1ccf16 the unfamiliar name f21f52e770 on his tongue 3ca8d66ee8 a few times, 87917ae268 he finally spoke 09a528bbc4 it aloud:abc856402e15cbd4
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“Thank you, Alyssa.”b3640e77d2de26b1
“…Yes, my lord.”466d60b0df1639cb
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Her reply, shy 2e92dbe494 and sweet, brought f3608436f1 an odd expression 84802b8759 to Kieran’s face. After a c039c104fb brief pause, 1bcd54fdff he slowly e978ea04cf shook his d654062ef9 head.1a68d5a056c76562
“It feels b0b9809341 strange if f4e748a0bc only one 0158a74e13 of us 9ff7d7b69d speaks formally.”1ee7ee8cb8a66bd2
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It was a short f9c6570914 sentence, but Alyssa immediately 0b1af42265 understood what he meant. Hesitating briefly, fec03883d6 she mustered c64fe8191c up the 3c40ff8ed9 courage to e83c04e924 speak.9f59074bbbc3b56b
“Kieran.”363bef02a72f838b
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It was 56c8062dea the moment, 88d60e82e6 across two 8d4ee23f90 lifetimes, when d7804e4712 he was cacb8708a2 finally granted b9e8a132df a name.0148f1e4f8104c09