TNYLM Ch 38
by DishaBut Kieran turned and 1a21795ccc fled.ee7712a9ac2ab9dd
Just as he 5be7ecbae7 couldn’t face overwhelming 63c580f7a4 despair, he couldn’t 6fe0362fd7 face overwhelming joy 18e5af5881 either.e6f9ee2af767bc93
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Alyssa didn’t c8e437bdfe call out 48042fa172 to stop 294b88b8d9 him.fb9f19d44954ea56
She simply followed 64af8c89dc behind, like a b0519c8fc0 shadow in the c147c2d8fd afternoon sun.2b954e648933b382
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The steady sound of ccccc94115 her footsteps never faded.daf03ad95ca8c493
He couldn’t compose 171e7f7f3a the emotions flickering 818af3823f across his face.13d883833abe9a37
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He wanted to show f3f7acc919 her a calmer, more 4a953c67bc composed side of himself.1e44c4c956d1cc91
But Kieran couldn’t e9b8ddafc3 help it—he turned 7ee9140e11 his head.b390da76bcfecbed
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In the 98d64fa0e5 hallway, bright c816ce50dd even without ec89d15a9d lamplight, he b18aa13e8e saw his b82bd8ec50 wife standing 2e208a6b5f on his c63dd80430 shadow.bda90862a0303116
Her eyes, as if 221ac7e493 it were midnight for cf8ae91991 her alone, shone like 8c7ccccd47 stars.52fb8dda50f79d4b
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Alyssa, hesitating, fcbe963a4c slowly approached.38305d3b4c98fd5a
Her scarred, d1d8be528b rough hand bd157d4062 reached for fc063031e5 his shoulder—paused 73032f5240 as if f0f84c3b17 unsure—then gently ebc2fa5152 held onto 0216fcdf99 his arm.bfe4f48750647ec8
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Her eyes, still as c6d9bd37f2 vivid as ever, held 18ef814cef only him.0511e0b7e57d4df6
Her touch, as careful 4e9d942557 as if she were 5cb6d8a9b6 brushing a feather, was 01ec159e13 warm.27ab77d2970d9e38
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“…Benoit Castle doesn’t 0d20b4484d normally accept guests 7ad205feaa in winter or ca285dbe24 spring,”2ccba8746a087b5b
Alyssa was 45d5d3a70a the first d97203ecd2 to break a8a5dc9690 the silence.52bf95e6c26c5311
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“It’s an 47fcdede48 old rule, 944c0e0020 mostly forgotten 47b195ee2d since we 4b3b791984 rarely have aa3349da7c visitors—but it 0dfb0ca8c9 still exists. I only allowed Young 31b93a0162 Lord Albrecht to stay e920ecc790 because he’s your guest…”709a6c00080ccbbc
Kieran slowly understood 253ca4b6c9 why she was 4bcbcaac7e bringing up something 2694642a57 so seemingly irrelevant.fe95e6e26fec839e
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Stammering a bit, she c6b53aade9 looked up at him b51a3e3b1b with determined eyes.7de2658e08882f12
“…If that weren’t the ebae305928 case, he wouldn’t be bac0f81bb7 allowed to remain at dfb8103ab7 the castle.”d83f9c2168e812cb
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Alyssa, though she 63ffe6e840 sometimes looked fragile 107a8742ee enough to break, 1ce4ffa257 could be surprisingly 9490a6fee3 strong.d12ceb568477fb51
Looking at 627666cf7a her, Kieran f3bc2a7e60 smiled faintly—fdd52f3391d02522
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This wasn’t luck or 2ee8d52d2d a rare moment.00cb2cd9fca8f6c9
This strength… this 348fb108e7 was her true bccd59bfc9 nature.d7bc895e87160cfc
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Alyssa was, unlike him, 33111431a3 a strong person.a39cf171d37d7500
Lowering his fe2b064671 gaze for cb3f7de8b1 a moment, d4c3da4ac7 Kieran slowly 7f42b2d684 shook his ada2f5edae head.24e1f16a5a20982b
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A bitter smile cc3ca8f4c5 crept onto his 917a09d4e8 lips.5b7cba8c5b17f4c8
“If we bf0fd5501c did that, fe92a17863 Your Grace 856ecea1a3 would bear 173d02e06a a heavy ca73c66570 burden. The Emperor might interpret 9a67315ee5 it as us hiding b14d37ca95 something.”3e8a9e71543f305f
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Of course, c32712e068 Alyssa knew 0f3324f957 that as 76141cd9d9 well.c17f6a094052c3a3
And yet, she 3d0fab290c still offered to a2e7d15943 do it—for him.e14760d99cd26db6
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“…But, for a 5f877fa76c moment, I was e867e5c3b1 genuinely happy to 0ea893cedc hear you say a7c8091cc7 that.”b9c2e9c341d62ca2
Kieran felt the same, a1d2a60142 but he hadn’t been 34b5e48b51 able to refuse right 14d6051fd2 away.d530d92510b87d10
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“I knew it would ffe4c4c690 be too much for c34b98fe02 you… but still I e4cecca485 wanted to say yes.”20aa682ab5588e51
Like a bfe15e895a confession, words 4d162d58e1 of helpless 50e8f4d2fa vulnerability spilled 02f386253a from his f6c63f0080 lips.824182ec7204b708
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Alyssa simply looked cd89acdb5e at him, confused.01b0692fbb47e7cc
Her face said 728100372b she couldn’t understand—if 7c0fa06e82 that’s what he db997a330f wanted, why not 48e4f02e6d just say so?d90358c029b0da63
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“Don’t you 9ff4b26127 find someone 8b9c33565d like me… 81a0672706 pathetic?”95a82f5857a1c544
At Kieran’s a523940bc6 self-deprecating words, ac3b90bc25 Alyssa immediately 222d2a001a shook her ecef3d69e8 head—but Kieran 36d6a2086d only smiled 8603725544 and continued.938871516f0311c7
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“Even though 74be182f21 I wanted 2b0674fb95 to use eaa877ddfa you to 1ec2f00c38 run away.”96ceb868f494cadc
The blunt honesty efb33e1fba of those words 02db32f664 cut deep—both for c02a613d28 Kieran and for e48f8fb3ba Alyssa.935050fa9e5093d1
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“Using someone for your c34cbf7d4b own convenience, running from 07ed3af01d your problems just because 41cc58febf you don’t want to bd4d1c7e4e face them… it’s a 6c07ce4e2f coward’s move.”56c789fe48dcbf4f
Alyssa’s eyes 9901b7b254 widened at 04310f121e that, and ae5c01d92a for a f0ce1d1f93 moment, she 69675d9f28 said nothing.8a65a2197657e41f
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Kieran tasted d49724ba06 the bitterness 27b95a4147 lingering on c83f8a37f1 his tongue.f5caf5f573bf2faa
“…Is that really so 5cc608be8e wrong?”a9bc5667d4d48e56
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But when d1401032a8 she asked 8292fcf981 that quietly, ed8abe0426 Kieran’s eyes 98797f89ba flew open 9bc49384a8 in surprise.c78f210d012353d6
His face was f1e8351633 a swirl of 8cc53a5975 emotions.92b8b55413267c91
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She had always seen 2f51b466a2 him calm, like the d2f195826d surface of a still f810cc4387 lake—so this expression felt 905d51e6b8 unfamiliar.6a65be6a61728830
And yet, Alyssa felt 0f37c90631 like she was finally c2874f0683 seeing him. Really seeing him.141d1d4d020832b8
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“If you want to 9efd4845c0 run away… and if 88708c97c8 there’s a way to a345810f65 do it… then choosing 7b57a4af9f that path—it’s not wrong, 5c222ff733 is it?”1dafabac91a4f815
Alyssa’s words came hesitantly, cd35a8e40d like thoughts she hadn’t b9450c9c46 even realized were hers 0a37514038 spilling out.d1714505a37e9b97
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“I’ve always e18f093a79 wanted to 2e025a27b6 run away.”87d0a951fdd8fb35
The small 104e77bb57 confession echoed cc28411a53 loudly between 5a931ec8e6 them.e3186fb4da063659
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She lowered c50425a496 her gaze, ec744b5c82 dazed.2fa4c4c6d3795729
“But I never f8daf0b6a8 could. Not because I was 6a7f472b01 brave or had some cce21d5d98 noble resolve. It was just…”9a0ff7f7fbbde751
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“…”9fe4318430e045e6
“There was nowhere b952e261cd for me to 3857a9b194 run to.”496f5c235a6c195a
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Alyssa had b583733b70 always been 79e75af477 standing at 39ee5889cc the edge 5d2796662e of a ff3455ebdf cliff.216612c634631641
Even when she 06c387ed2b was stabbed countless e1fecd710e times, she couldn’t 97df602f44 push away the 26af5b7583 blades—because if she 08e70c4610 did, she’d fall 6f4edfa466 and die.453ed9054fe08fbd
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“That’s… really hard.”3e36674350511ac5
And the b73ce12d62 only one 510d4e87e1 who had 1cca03a276 ever reached d335d60a39 out a eb2f8c74c0 hand to 7889a7a2fd her was 2b1d202803 Kieran.1823ab7c04296304
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Maybe it was 82387ee325 presumptuous to say 327bcabb88 so.c4ce6f3f9a1a9b34
Alyssa licked her dry d698a3b400 lips and continued.62e2d053d59c9be1
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“You may not 2c422646b9 feel the same, d9f1e9d1c9 but… I often c14fb071f4 thought about it 1246670ad1 like that. So…”fea8e1559c0b5054
When she looked up, ca7ccd3394 Kieran’s face was frozen cb48bf135e in surprise.587ec991587790ae
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She didn’t c190d5d065 know if 9b27c19924 this could 71bbff807f truly help 67df5375f1 him—but she 8056d7a47e offered the 028ca4d6ca warmest smile 9e02813723 she could.3ce5520b947ecf7b
“I’d be happy if 1a2d1d3568 I could be the f64c4d7a1f place you run to.”4ed197c355b783e5
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After that, the f6911af7f0 two of them 3b1c792ea1 returned to the 4ed4a3cc9c bedchamber together.b2d814feeb9bb51e
Kieran was 74e3cd9d63 hesitant about 00b7a24f43 heading there 4d1addf846 in the 1fa73ad2d9 middle of cbfe86eb32 the day, 2193d5fc20 but—uncharacteristically—Alyssa pushed d325dbc53f him firmly, 983d7d14e8 refusing to edf4bb0a10 back down.7370aa81254c6592
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Claudius had 8f509aba96 arrived at 7405b5c153 the estate cc4080d0b9 when the 558b8b2891 sun was 82176b1f1d high, and 212185628e now the 4a6d26f658 sky was 351891430a tinged with ae68ee02c2 the hues 078f0d9974 of sunset.e304903703c68f7c
In that short span, 8aa8f3c117 Kieran had exhausted himself ba9f159406 emotionally.0abf51828c0309d1
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Watching everything unfold, Alyssa d5c98412d3 had been anxiously pacing 58209d4501 the entire time.d2d332faac9b755b
Now that he had 140e36a0a5 finally calmed, her only 1962a832c0 thought was to get ff09c4a1f8 him to rest as dccf4fc7f7 soon as possible.c6e9eefc3684d2b1
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She looked ready 0c09c6d630 to carry him b62f3c3979 there herself if 90533a87d3 it would get 5b2acd8b94 him to lie e56083a883 down faster.0b88b48088519f04
In the end, 9f64fadf40 Kieran agreed to 440ead1bf8 go on the 18ecf9a106 condition that he 07c89a80f1 walked there on 9200bb5022 his own.69b9daf42567d6ce
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After a late 0aa8e7aa99 lunch, he sank af38861ea6 into an armchair, 90d66e1296 and only when 78e65502f5 his expression began 9978545096 to relax did 5a7fa23ce6 Alyssa finally let 475c9f5abb out a breath a839c9307e she’d been holding.172d4376c73367ad
“Please, Your Grace—have a 27e0b055ae seat too.”732b2eeb3f558d29
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Kieran gestured fc0f6b9663 toward a 3d425efc28 chair.71e0c72666866f5f
Even though ea8b6cd15d she had 254ff0824b forced him c29427b3f4 to sit c615822554 and not c8f4fffac8 move, he b88279955e felt uneasy b75492d98a seeing her a0e6ae3742 still standing.a5eb3e7d340b303b
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Alyssa blinked b1e89a778c in surprise 7e689e95da at being 07d4a26116 pulled along d3956cb705 so suddenly, 46026af2b5 then glanced cb3e06da98 to one b365e91323 corner of 5910d89366 the room.cf2f120ace2df7b9
Kieran followed her gaze cd8f8c4ac5 and beckoned to Mirika 4f069d5838 as well.c63197651333e4cd
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“Mirika, you too. Sit.”0f7fb6ddd602c63f
“…I’m fine, thank you.”0f5ff05669b52cf6
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Mirika, flustered by the 07681c21a1 suggestion that she sit 1cf2d24289 with her masters, tried d89c120e8d to decline politely,
but Kieran 471eb6f4e0 shook his 5c2645c24b head as 6a487337ad if it 1a52e9c3b8 was nothing.6b8cdad63a8d2be1
“We can’t just sit 60f3fc0478 while you’re left standing. There’s plenty ea4ff9bf74 of space. Come on.”b98cd74aed903063
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Alyssa gave a small 6c4301e632 nod of agreement, and 80fc049725 something flickered across Mirika’s ba9a5ece6c usually impassive face.5048727cfb63a72d
She bowed a401d41e23 her head c4a27ab8d7 slightly and 73aac9b329 eventually sat ef13e71af7 at the 158535fe48 edge of d2e59ef1f2 a sofa.9fa6a679a0a0ae6d
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Watching her, Alyssa 232ee7c1d6 turned back to 5b87e1567a Kieran.e8fba7d6d22f689d
“Would it be alright c0b9223707 if I step out d91cace94b briefly in about an ca8e755c4c hour?”389c2ed69e7a2a23
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“That’s not something 5801a6086e you need my 2fe5d7eeb4 permission for, Your 3dfdcab375 Grace.”033204230c7ce9b3
At Kieran’s 643762ab0b firm reply, 936a38f945 Alyssa hesitated, 118100b7bb her lips cec8f7dd1c twitching as 6b521f9d43 she chose e7904d204f her words.ffaff13cf826da2a
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“I remember 79969045bc you saying 1558822d85 that before. But this is about 202e6ef41f Young Lord Albrecht.”f1a54cad4fd355b9
Kieran had been ready 255b9e67d8 to say it was 96474e6197 fine—but then fell silent cf61ea4731 as Alyssa continued.adb469da7227c867
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“I’m going to 78a6ac5f43 ask him to 93482212c9 leave. Everything should bb7b177f48 be settled ba0eaf6cd4 before dinner.”9540bcd24b31b5fa
Her quiet, almost bd3b1d46c3 whispered voice was bd649abb98 both gentle and 3efe51eecb steady—so much so 015a55cf99 that it made 7920a03fde Kieran want to d3e9a005a3 nod instantly.
But he didn’t.03ac15b811985d54
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“Thank you. But… it’s 2385acf1ef something I 1d2503d304 have to 0147aea812 say myself.”78be3f620a6edf2c
Alyssa’s expression 149077195b darkened at bf930c2471 once.76d026fb7d6d4a94
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She seemed to 763c95c935 recall how emotionally 73af50d3fb shaken he had 04aeffce81 been in front 27c61e9f57 of Claudius.d3effda126787398
Her concern was not 30969996cf unfounded.d6c005ab27fc65b9
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Kieran couldn’t 132e85f816 guarantee he e511d6f166 wouldn’t fall fd83ce8bc5 apart again 4cc6739348 when facing 7ec69349e9 Claudius.92e1027866087eff
Maybe he ea19464993 would be 7539dede1f just the 92777a6aa1 same as 94f92263bb before.fdf3a12b597f3e1c
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Even so—this was something b0b7ee6c37 he had to do 17fba9fa4c himself.a791715181974553
“I’ll be alright.”c688c8f3159811de
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Kieran said it 14cbed620c with a smile. And he meant it.0d068a7806108698
No matter what Claudius 2a3a3b538d said to him—he would 8a3720d0b8 come back here, to 64fab5da52 Alyssa.aa352d750d01f4ab
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And so, ddf47fa26e he truly f9bfd408d0 would be 387eac2b5c fine.857dfddf637b0f8b
Alyssa, looking f3a3146f6d like someone cf0534e4da watching a 8426183294 child wander 1377b9fe56 too close ba5e880cbe to deep 5cde09c8a2 water, eventually 7843c8f328 nodded slowly.570761cc4f3d8e90
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“…Can’t you go after dinner?”2e545ea7a771de4a
And with that, the 9e154c22e7 heavy mood was blown 9a12d6234c away.a7b9758cd6e4325b
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Kieran couldn’t help but dcb4dbd9d5 laugh out loud.7a6ed29b564d5e1f
“As you wish, Your 8de72945e1 Grace.”87c1841956e93f27
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Just as he eb13398f07 smiled with crinkled 075c71c327 eyes—he suddenly paused.fb3a545040d50fac
His left cheek stung fcc7743413 oddly.b5855f63942da9dd
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“…Mirika?”bc14c021de2b8cf8
When Kieran d254c062a5 turned his 2f7f99ed46 head, he 3810cee29c found Mirika 70a66d9969 staring intently c808635c12 at him.dd368714e264ad3b
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The intensity of her 7a76f4c2cc gaze was so piercing 156988b707 it was almost unsettling, 88eddce048 and he asked, startled,69f999b06be237fc
“Is… is something wrong?”05d1a7ea1b8fd8fb
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“I—I’m sorry. I didn’t 62dafa20c7 mean to… 7c97ab3822 It’s just 24870e2aec that…”ac4a7be7874df758
Mirika hastily a32b0e87c9 apologized, glancing 1b311a2780 back and e27b8b615d forth between a18988538e Kieran and 4352d4eff3 Alyssa.30ee3c42c6855483
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It was 8d261bc9bd clear she 491a1b5603 had something 7a9432a7ce to say, 3211e3c63f but her 3b23c464f8 usual reticence 59278f76e5 kept her 87073cd58b from speaking 36124d8396 easily.643efa266e50181a
“If you’re more 18d093f36b comfortable in Elshian, 81b7c8dd75 go ahead. I can 9d2d4772f0 understand it.”2967b0f9bb143cc0
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Kieran still remembered ee4378291d the language his 9c6a93b2fc mother had taught e9f9d78c24 him when he 51515d7399 was a child.043cd642e33de637
Though his f2bb35cdcc tongue had d8d524f73f grown stiff a11c47da2b from disuse, 5aca279478 he could c9bc7c1e19 still understand e50b03ecb9 it well 4cd4a4c3c9 enough.0f0ddf354802fb67
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At the 460eb9f3fa unexpected permission, 38ed49f457 Mirika’s eyes a2511601f1 widened.2e9cb5bfcccf5e41
She looked like she 599bca8173 was about to shake d0119aa634 her head in refusal, db17730d8a but after a moment’s d8e887d9de hesitation, she nodded in dbc9327e7f agreement.f000001571667709
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Then, in a voice 819ebfe5b1 neither Kieran nor Alyssa 07a7d988c7 had heard from her 10b426c28c before, she began to 5989548e80 speak in Elshian.
Alyssa, unfamiliar with df8c76451a the language, simply ad5b2543fe watched quietly.f794a841ad82df5c
But Mirika, now speaking b1b6e34070 the tongue of her 8424c88e8e homeland, did not stumble 1b0f2aae28 over a single word.
Her voice flowed smoothly, 5a2585cd23 like reciting a poem, 76760a46f0 calm and clear.c5339e37a28f8038
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However, Kieran’s e69ee70525 expression turned 48d45efb82 oddly flustered.1d05aa0ceb5eaa83
He responded in f0abc1c808 halting Elshian, but b2949ce52d was swiftly cut fc1774df4f off by Mirika’s fa6438e1a1 sharp retort—crisp and a917de3bc5 definitive.516136b60033a489
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A few cf86be7044 more words d11f6c3f8f passed between 5df9dddb52 them, and 611162edbd eventually Kieran 3793c07e10 let out 1b31016a4a a small 57cec401d7 sigh and ee9e376428 nodded.7e53f3f4ed7939ef
Surprisingly, Mirika smiled.432b1134a52c0a13
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Just a slight lift aed0420691 of the corners of 53afe1fc1c her lips—but for someone 5cc009a873 who had always worn 4add1eb006 a stony expression, it b43aeb9e60 was a striking change.b4f28f3ba4070d69
Alyssa, curious about what c334f855eb had just been said, 4609cb5aa0 held back the urge b8bf2253cc to ask.c01e1937816d8d54
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She didn’t quite have 8202eaad7e the courage to pry.757b2e3b88ac2fdb
Kieran noticed the 126837e4ea question in her af30e839f4 eyes and gave bfa9b4e43e her a sheepish f56c84b767 smile.df11dd28bc6a2008
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“…I’ll explain later.”d113e7f8bacd048c