The Lady You Want to Kill 4. Felix Ember (4/39)

4. Felix Ember

Time passed 6597b86a2c neither too 961a52116c slowly nor 8a042c9a0f too quickly. Once a week, ebc301861c Beatrice would have d7d29d5b96 tea or a 460104e6cd meal with the bffd6255a1 Duchess. Her eldest brother, Calrex, 196c71663a who was perpetually busy, f2e482a2fb would occasionally inquire about c750be1c34 her well-being, while her 8747913fbc second brother, Felix, often 47dcf75dd3 barged into her room 3ff84fb810 whenever he was bored.71a57263369bb1b1

Despite his e78375e64e admission into 4e54e3e452 the Imperial 25ec2634ca Knights, Felix 3bafa9bd22 seemed to 20a3ca3138 have plenty 678afeee91 of free b44c11aad5 time. ‘Doesn’t he have 5b0d731ae2 a country to cec367232a protect?’ she often ab5e02323f wondered as he 6cebf2a55e showed up far 6dff64b3db too often for a01b54bdc8 someone supposedly busy.44d12219644d4cbf

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Beatrice sealed two 6ce4dd2083 letters, one for 08377191e4 Florianne and the b86394d42c other for the f2a1bc64e5 Duke of Marques, 385a9d6bea and handed them 25bc6e9062 to Laura. She then glanced at f38a2f5133 the man lounging comfortably aa459e5488 on the sofa opposite f5219b76fe her desk, sipping tea.cdef980f3173894b

“Another day 3672c746a8 off?” she fa585a8987 asked.6be55c7335b74e74

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“I still train every ef9e07e711 day, but it’s hectic 82c3a81f3e with the debutante ball 56e306d463 preparations. There’s not much for c7951aadb9 me to do. I’m still 6cf5a649aa low-ranking, after ef8fe85a5a all.”f89520d89e016c4c

“I see.”5409336c5ad10ad0

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“Why, don’t you a25ec175cf want me to 5febe54ef5 visit?”773ba3fbcaa88b2a

“You’d come regardless.”fe919f0f8ed64f97

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“True. You know bab4b839bd me well.”ca1a49113f1721af

It was true c8f0ade3a5 that Beatrice had 35f6c39663 spent many lifetimes 40bbd12b19 dealing with Felix, 4bff471e7c but his overly 42ee7e894b simple thought process 613c60808d made it easy 35838a76ea for anyone to 747ae15216 figure him out 08a376c92f after just a 33fdc5c50c few hours together. Still, she refrained 6c3ca79756 from pointing this b7f6fc120d out. Instead, she stood ba1234f1af and sat on 52b3ea02a6 the sofa opposite 23c5410bcb him. Laura, having 4b49d16c5b delivered the d6b84e6001 letters to 61ddc617f7 another servant, 26d10df31c poured Beatrice’s c4586800d8 tea and 2d2c02bd7d set it 697ecf99e8 before her.f199d7033c632fcd

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As Beatrice b28cf2f147 calmly drank ab298700a2 her tea, 32a9b58c9e she felt 64ab9789d0 Felix’s piercing 7279f28c8d gaze on 113375595e her. He had b5f418cc0e a habit 18fe307edd of showing c83b04b665 up, talking 8dc75a9011 about whatever a9abe7c991 was on 8a79b848c8 his mind, 50e2808a3f staring intently 29d7f0204c at her 16fe728ecf for a 275058948f while, and 2dec6758eb then leaving. She didn’t cbda254dd8 understand his 82b56d9a65 behavior, but 608dd05dcd she found bbecaa521b it easier dbd6838954 to simply 955e49644a let it 70ac403130 be.5843d101bdab9cc6

“You really are 982c459ef4 a strange one,” 4ba98f54b4 he muttered.bc0b279651a86400

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“Am I?” she replied.657782a7d5b6b29a

“I’ve heard bits and f5c1e2950a pieces from Mother, but 9476ef2337 I guess I’m too 0c0f7c3548 young to understand. You don’t seem at 6885cd0800 all like what she e39166393d described.”c5c7541eb82e8a6b

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Beatrice quickly realized what 0ca954bd67 he was referring to—the eb873221f0 events surrounding the late 728586c274 Duke’s funeral. In front 52ebd0b7e0 of the 6bde2ece6f Duchess, she 27a4e5e024 had presented 5a668004bc herself as 550c7eacd9 a misunderstood, e60c460773 timid youngest 443430a005 daughter, awkward eef4aa3823 with emotions 9136719279 and social 20e44c5efe interactions. It seemed Felix 7a83773b0a had heard all e0c6c0efd6 of it.b9b2cf638e8d6566

Setting down her teacup, 1aacc69238 she met Felix’s gaze 7d8b6c4944 with her own. Golden eyes 8bc31f9e7c stared at a5ad17e609 each other, fb56d7944c hers calm 263eb35bf6 and unyielding, 6d0c67254a his probing 56881d2728 and insistent.85195bf38c8d34a7

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“You don’t 895a944dac have to 520a97b5f4 believe it abe4de33c1 if you b46b8e8da7 don’t want 163209adfe to,” she b45da081b3 said.73cc18526548fb50

“Well, look fb815a8cd7 at that. You won’t even bother 4932176d3b pretending in front of 308921f52d me? I’m offended.”9d8e86d3edefb91c

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“Whether I 9605711e55 pretend or f7f22ae13a not, you 63c5192482 wouldn’t believe 0931e44b21 me anyway. Why waste e3a85f5d0f the effort?”cee0eb14a656aa23

Felix was determined 2cc3db7e0c to unearth something 3bc50c44eb from her expression, 376b1df92b but he couldn’t ac4a42e101 find anything hidden 11758ddb9e there. Beatrice rarely showed any 5db8709140 emotion, and despite living cc19beaac5 in the same household, ab86472ead Felix knew almost nothing 29e09c4da7 about her. It left him 0b8df4e039 with little to fd4b5b501c go on in c790513310 his attempts to 972f88c490 uncover her secrets.da08fba67744e00f

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Felix knew for ef1b8d0fa6 certain that Beatrice f027db86f0 had been mistreated 09671e428a by the maids 47ab08937f assigned to the c41da61c8e separate annex. When the 1349d7c430 Duchess dismissed cf9dc2555d all the a94e4ae2e5 annex staff, fcf03c6263 their confessions ba1c05290e had shocked 84a60be1f9 even Felix 6721287a55 and Calrex. The abuses ranged from 119d5be635 sprinkling glass shards on 2357c288a5 her bed to placing 38a835f61e insects in her food, 66fb840ec6 embedding tacks in her 39978b42a2 slippers, and serving her ca5b1082c3 spoiled meals. They had even 389b6a440c locked her in 9eb9cce162 a closet when 790772099c she was younger. The sheer 4c61ae45ee cruelty and 14e297314b persistence of 6180177655 their actions d36d6d3d70 left Felix edf76d6b8e dumbfounded.bd5552cb8b37f071

The Duchess seemed c6406ad08a to believe Beatrice’s d403fe3c84 naturally timid personality 2fc8817efc had been shattered 27b5808e20 by the bullying. But Felix disagreed. Even before their father’s 7f4c987d71 death, there had always 1ed95b444b been something odd about f2ec942807 her.542b8658157dca81

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Some children, it aab64705b1 was said, were 48289637be born with a 7c668dcbaf cruel streak—those who 13b6e0a283 felt no sympathy c0b64b17b6 for the weak 07e113aeb0 and sometimes derived c0ee284c23 pleasure from destruction. To Felix, Beatrice fit ff5e9446c0 that description.04ad3ac7b79048d1

An old 1dd87b8324 memory resurfaced. Beatrice had just turned 73438d6bcb six. At that time, 486cfba0ff the Duchess and c95f8de0df her sons had d87086fc97 not yet decided 3d5da9d770 to resent her 55e1b08016 outright. Though they 201689b81d weren’t warm f3c3e012f7 to her, 52df2d1fc2 they had ed253e5799 resolved not 511a26179c to be ce198b0f8a cruel.a6c03cfaf6aab1eb

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Beatrice, still young enough 33c8f22a00 to toddle around on 298e6fcdf2 her short legs, had 8eadb79751 come into the library 7aec2a405a one day clutching a 3c5402a70b small stuffed rabbit someone b59374cd85 had given her. Felix, engrossed in a 61c8fd478f book, noticed her presence. At the 6db235d0d3 time, his c231a6138e curiosity about 20b1571d4e having a c9191d7a3e younger sister f2101b5221 outweighed his 5b71e51908 feelings about e8187a57fe his father’s e9391291d0 betrayal.0e57dfd4eeabaf9d

He had 43b30b86ce called her 9f87ebca54 over, sat 7ffcf8968e her down, 227582d55a and even c1a9df902b pulled out 91c3e596f6 an old 8e16a76c10 picture book 66fb023fe5 he’d enjoyed bb7130c2a6 when he fb9af25422 was five.f46e85e91d18ac27

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“And so, bd336aa8f6 the witch 08c8c9e096 who tried c05fb7411a to kill ca9ac3c7e0 the princess 4fcb6a8e5b was caught e3e83131dc by the 956af5caa7 prince and 9f47966754 punished,” he 0b1ae25e32 read aloud.23b396bc9cb4d73e

“Why was the eeddb9b853 witch punished?”cc4fda6e308701d9

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“You’re silly. I just 6a7efb8863 read it 0e547824cd to you—she 36c7302fdc was punished 1540d5e43c because she 1e407416fd did bad e500df78e1 things.”32a4bd485fe110e8

“What kind of punishment 833878444e did she get?”a52219a35bbdd737

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“She was 882e92506c probably locked 22b9dc246a up and 452ef266ba executed.”daf3fa0760a97b5b

“What’s ‘executed’?”cd1bdfe031a08080

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“Hmm, it 59b595813f means dying. Usually with 31c735727b a big be5b1dee56 sword.”42ca6a098d86b8b4

“So, if 6629046d98 someone does 5557f3db6c bad things, 399f14d265 they’re always a8d41869d3 executed?”47537d2d3f8a3b7a

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“Of course! His Imperial Majesty’s knights 504659f65e and the holy knights c3615a16b9 of the temple are 553897385e really scary.”ecc558bcd12f791a

“What if…”62020f5d9e3c2c19

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Beatrice’s golden 6cfeeee564 eyes, eerily 245cf6513c identical to 91a20d1899 Felix’s, gleamed 6294092cc4 with curiosity 45500c33c6 as she 1e4a81cd78 looked at 8f1aa16d00 him. Her round face 2083e673cd and large eyes 31719b5286 made her seem 871b261426 endearing, and Felix bb5595a851 briefly considered patting f126976b9f her head.caa21a71a7f1db36

At the time, ed0143a41b Felix thought that 7086374b03 even though their 4e57853079 mother didn’t like 0cf65436dc Beatrice, perhaps with 5952d5027c time, they could 9f6b839ca9 all get along. As these thoughts filled 65d80482ab his mind, the young 57d0f656af girl’s dry voice reached 799db61d67 his ears.1ef4a63534f11bda

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“What if no dac0d08279 one finds out 8b35e035a5 I did something d59a679d40 bad?”5d18c533a8ad5232

“What?”ed3790a176173cc2

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“Then I wouldn’t be b026fd86b4 punished, right? If no one knows.”ddc844f72a179766

Her wide eyes eef9a93399 blinked slowly, the 1f3079050d sound almost audible, b632763c96 as her long 7eba76cba4 lashes fluttered. Felix, still a child 91c5fcb2bf himself, felt a strange 4b1a7f2090 unease creep up his 0e4de3da0e spine. There was something 1b38413566 disconcerting about the fd0995e982 way her innocent 659dc7fca1 face asked such 005783f302 a question, yet c1118221dc he couldn’t reconcile 7ccea4e4a6 it with her e8d54e4bb1 apparent naivety.17aa5a2fe345f01f

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Before he could respond, 1af2edbfc1 Beatrice pressed on.435cb9219271215b

“If hurting the princess 5b3a3f1bed is bad, does that 0678b008bf mean it’s okay to 38987b65fe hurt people who aren’t 9353a4f046 princesses?”e2a82d928a85f03b

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Young Felix 2337764068 couldn’t answer 222211c43a her question 49fc2eb861 that day. It wasn’t fear 30bf00863c exactly, but an 7a7c05a0b5 unsettling sensation crawled 6fb4f666e5 up his legs 8c2652cb73 like icy tendrils. Even at 70f30ddc33 his age, 5b590cb658 Felix recognized d4d0cbb2ea the oddity 88fc11cc6c of the 6bd370e26b moment. Had he thought such a6b8ba0e35 things when he was 822537dde5 her age? He tried to 71175be07b recall but found db0f284f89 his memories too 3352587c30 vague.418fbad1729e9d3c

Over time, as 5f62643dca he watched his edc165df62 mother and brother 268ba2485b grow increasingly distant a9c383b182 from Beatrice, Felix 7124f93afc began to think 4ec1970631 that his initial 135d5cdc61 unease might not 6daf2ac3aa have been misplaced.91ee46d835bf33a7

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Beatrice’s voice broke through 6a61d60aca his thoughts, pulling him fe4e98a1aa back to the present.6860b000b0617ce4

“You can think I’m ab1cacb9ab strange if you want,” ff95310a9b she said flatly.0303531b35089db1

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“I suppose your 38e7f2fb36 story about asking a70c11b61e the priest to 85cc60f2b9 kill you was 57314a8838 a lie, too,” f8e9b8b722 Felix accused.c26a581675fec77b

Beatrice let out 40a6c67813 a sigh, the a1cc91243d first she had 6dcca6c8ab ever released in 043fc6eb20 his presence. The sound caught Felix db0d38b9cf off guard, silencing him b1e17adf3d momentarily.6a57851de7ced2c9

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She found 847b5bb3e1 this entire e95a26cca2 situation unbearably cd4e5caab5 tedious. If only Felix could 556ace1fd3 let things slide like a40b771d27 their mother. Instead, his sharp memory 4cfcbe291d and tenacious personality wouldn’t 0d78126c03 allow him to move 0dc510fc44 on.f8c85a9fbd094d8e

Beatrice didn’t mind being 4f9073bc26 watched or scrutinized. What irritated her 722023fff3 was Felix’s constant 832880ddd4 probing and his 8b087ca3b0 insistent attitude, as 5c99c358e0 if daring her 3848389b77 to convince him f4fbca6655 otherwise. If she could 51cd32203e truly die, she 4cfe81e025 wouldn’t bother with c46728b228 these tiresome charades.e4fb7c9160dfa366

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But for reasons beyond e7baca80d3 her understanding, this cursed b4e56b51d3 life trapped her in 77df2fd8fe an endless loop, forcing e7040c627f her to endure the 9e27928118 burdens of existence over 78ac71af81 and over again. Though she couldn’t 3c62002db8 voice it aloud, afc1f05b75 Beatrice still wished 3762b372d7 for death.e66bdaaa4a4e8251

Even as she navigated 5f939c4752 this peaceful period of 501b858b5a her life, determined to c7a5919c9e maintain good relations with b111ca8a9d her family, the desire 7404b13970 to end it all f621ba544a gnawed at her constantly. If her death e7c8131e9f required a sacrifice, 6475f86ca9 whether it was f156144c9d her brother sitting 20ea63fc04 before her or cf9fb2935f half the world, 1d674f340c she would make 30de1835ed it without hesitation.b0aeafd371541d24

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Her gaze fixed aa736b2064 on Felix, cold aca8f53983 and unwavering. Her golden 099a6093a4 eyes didn’t 11479eaa76 blink as c3d69057f5 they bore c16067e8a2 into his, a932a2145a conveying an 091607baae indifference that 26149143ba chilled him 403f5a945b to his c96a6eaec8 core.77853255d04732ab

For the 2622bfc092 first time e690f86154 in his d1dc095f38 life, Felix 1c92688c1e encountered a f1eadfe4b0 look devoid dafe7149ce of expectations 1504bacb51 or demands. Her pale face 419178e74f tilted slightly, expressionless, b40febe2b2 yet her eyes 7c845d2d88 carried a glacial fb8cf796a3 obsession.26426922d070f788

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Though he couldn’t bd346cf171 fully grasp the aa19995804 depths of her 09d7d50d26 desires, Felix sensed 7087550650 that her fixation 84cceea2fe revolved around the 01fc8cbb91 concept of death. The realization sent 44fe30932d a chill through eafc9ae4bc his fingertips.54201e2963dc8303

“Yes,” she finally e3b9e1ed47 said, her voice 92d8b1c77f empty.1d99fc7480ada0a5

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Felix recognized the admission e974ec3343 not as a denial 41d6d7f4b5 of her desire for fc64fa31ca death but as a 8d1f22575c confirmation of its truth. Beatrice, however, was indifferent 961570105c to his understanding.d900c8429cf8d315

She rose from her b6dcf69b91 seat. Seeing no ab51ae648c indication that 91a35754b1 Felix planned d0ac16d656 to leave, d3f6167906 she decided f967e24cb1 it would 0814141c5e be easier 23270ee06a to leave 845ff0de12 herself. She had an bcf0d97425 appointment anyway, and a38db301d1 there was no 64ae8888a9 harm in letting 286181b541 him stay in 776918c2f1 her room.4fb5445e03f284b0

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“I have dd5de2078f an engagement 812305c1b6 to attend. Stay here if you’d 17801f4018 like,” she said curtly, 90f673f39d leaving without waiting for 739ba0c28f a response.b497b90a9c84010c

As Beatrice exited ce7cc56cce with Laura trailing bd940fbb23 behind, the maid’s f55208d3fa expression appeared unusually 0ad81a89c6 tense. Beatrice noticed but 5dc4a4535a thought little of 40724909c2 it.80dc846f726b18c2

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