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TL | Chapter 24 | Your Choice
by RAEThough Iden had taken the emergency rut suppressant, there was still a chance he could be affected by Seowon’s pheromones again.
“You’re in no condition to drive,” he pointed out. Seowon didn’t have a response; he was trying hard to calm himself, but a heat cycle wasn’t something he could control by sheer will. Since stepping out of the car, he’d been forcing himself to hold back, breaking into a cold sweat in the process.
“Let’s just get back home,” Iden said in a steady tone. Taking a deep breath, Seowon untied Iden’s hands from the seatbelt and started to step out of the car, but Iden grabbed his arm.
“Sit in the back. I’ll drive. It’ll be better than sitting up front with me.”
Seowon looked down at the hand on his arm, saying nothing, but when Iden tightened his grip, he pulled Seowon closer, forcing him to brace himself against the backseat to keep from collapsing on top of him. The closeness was unnerving, and he furrowed his brow involuntarily.
“There’s no point in taking the suppressant if you’re going to act like this,” Seowon grumbled. Iden gave a faint smile, his free arm reaching to cradle Seowon’s head, guiding him to rest on his shoulder, patting him like he was soothing a child.
“Relax, I’m not going to eat you up,” he said with a playful tone. When Seowon looked up at him, their eyes met, and Iden’s softened gaze met his.
“At least… not here,” he added with a grin, then gently helped Seowon settle into the back seat before getting out to take the driver’s seat. He raised the partition between the front and back seats.
“If you get stuffy, crack the window,” he said. The partition would help keep their pheromones from mingling too much, but Seowon could still feel Iden’s lingering presence. As the car started moving, he opened the window, letting the cool air mix in. Though it diluted Iden’s pheromones a bit, it didn’t ease the heat already building within him.
What was he supposed to do now? He hadn’t been able to get the suppressant from Jian yet…
He glanced toward Iden’s silhouette as he drove, separated by the partition like an invisible boundary that also seemed to mark the distance between them—right there, but unreachable.
He exhaled deeply, feeling the warmth of his breath. This heat cycle was relentless, making him feel more frustrated than ever. He couldn’t think about anything anymore and closed his eyes, his mind drifting in and out as his consciousness faded. This time, the heat cycle had truly hit him hard.
•
In the parking lot back at their apartment, Iden turned to check on Seowon in the back seat. He was breathing heavily with his eyes closed, clearly worse than before they’d left the store. His pheromones, stirred up by Iden’s own rut, must have hit him hard.
What should he do now?
Iden had anticipated that Seowon’s heat cycle would kick in, and he knew his own rut would follow because of it. Still, he had let it happen, curious to see how Seowon would respond.
When he saw Seowon calmly buying the emergency rut suppressant at the store, he had almost laughed. But it was clear he hadn’t planned for himself at all. Then again, there wasn’t much he could do. Omega suppressants required a prescription, so Seowon couldn’t get any on his own.
Knowing this, Seowon had asked Jian to get him the suppressant. Not timing his cycle properly had been a mistake, though. Since Iden had only taken a temporary suppressant, he’d inevitably go back into rut as soon as he was close to Seowon.
Iden’s gaze drifted to the package locker at the parking lot entrance. Min had probably already dropped off the rut suppressant there, as Iden had messaged him from the store to bring it over, just in case.
He could have gotten the suppressant the night before and taken it before going to the store today, but he hadn’t. He knew Seowon would fight his heat cycle to the end. But if he went into rut, could Seowon ignore him, knowing how much Iden was struggling?
He had set things up carefully, ensuring they returned home from the store, but what would happen if he allowed himself to be swept up in Seowon’s heat cycle again?
It was a risky gamble for him, too. When rut consumed him, he wasn’t exactly human. He couldn’t be sure he wouldn’t do something reckless. Would Seowon stay if he revealed this part of himself?
Not that he would let Seowon go, even if he tried to run.
Getting out of the car, Iden retrieved the suppressant from the locker and swallowed it before returning to the back seat. Seowon didn’t even react to the door opening. Despite the open window, his pheromones filled the back seat. Even with the suppressant, Iden’s heart pounded heavily as he fought the urge to pull him close.
Reaching out, he touched Seowon’s arm, which made him flinch. Seowon’s dark brown eyes shifted slowly to meet Iden’s gaze.
“Don’t… touch me.”
Iden frowned at the strained voice. He didn’t like the response.
“If you can get out on your own, then do it,” he said, pulling his hand back. Seowon’s gaze dropped to his hand, watching it retreat as his lips pressed together. His body trembled, clearly unable to move as he wished.
Iden sighed, leaning into the back seat to lift Seowon in his arms. He squirmed in surprise but quickly clung to Iden’s neck as they moved outside. The sweet scent that brushed past Iden’s nose made him realize how meaningless the suppressant was. His heart pounded, spreading heat throughout his body.
Not yet. Not yet.
He carried Seowon into the living room and placed him gently on the couch. Seowon’s chest rose and fell as he took deep breaths, clutching his body tightly, trembling uncontrollably.
Iden looked down at him, a faint, bitter smile on his lips. Even in this state, Seowon didn’t ask to be held. Yet no one but Iden could calm his heat cycle. They both knew it, but Seowon stubbornly resisted.
“There are no suppressants here.”
Despite it being the place they’d shared since returning to South Korea, there were no suppressants kept in the apartment. The last time Seowon had taken suppressants was during college, back when they’d been separated.
“…I know…”
Seowon finally answered, his voice weak but still coherent.
“Make your choice,” Iden said, watching Seowon’s eyes slowly lift to meet his.
“If you want to try enduring alone, I’ll leave.”
If Seowon didn’t want to be held, they couldn’t stay in the same space. While Iden was able to keep his composure for now, he couldn’t guarantee how long it would last.
Seowon’s eyes wavered, then he glanced away, swallowing. But he still didn’t speak.
Was it impossible for him? Maybe he should think of another way…
“…”
Seowon murmured something, but Iden couldn’t hear it and frowned.
“Damn it.”
This time, he heard the low curse clearly. Seowon still wasn’t looking at him, but his hand gripped the fabric of Iden’s shirt. Iden glanced down at the hand clutching his shirt, his lips curling into a faint smirk.
“You know what this means, right?”
He asked Seowon, needing a clear answer. He wouldn’t let Seowon back away or draw another line.
Iden leaned over him, pressing Seowon against the sofa. The distance between them closed enough for Iden to see Seowon’s lashes trembling.
“Ha Seowon.”
Seowon’s eyes opened, meeting Iden’s intense gaze.
“This is your choice,” Iden emphasized, watching as Seowon’s gaze shifted, then dropped. Iden didn’t like him looking away, so he tilted Seowon’s chin up, forcing their eyes to meet again. Seowon frowned but was visibly tense at Iden’s touch.
“Don’t think this will be like last time. I won’t pretend it never happened.”
As he slowly closed the gap between them, Seowon’s lashes fluttered before he shut his eyes. His hands reached up as if to push Iden away, but there was no strength behind them.
Smiling faintly, Iden dipped down, capturing Seowon’s lips in his. Their hot breaths mingled, and in that moment, all hesitation vanished.