TGM | Chapter 2

From.9e355e17c7872fac

“It’s okay to meet anyone.”8e8a37e1bcd24ef2

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In the end, 8fa5542294 I hear it 387a80d27c from his own 91d48506d6 mouth.4c6dde319f4827f0

Haehyeon asked with a hopeful heart, but the answer was calm, and he couldn’t imagine the expression he must be making, so he habitually rubbed his empty left ring finger.6a2900de367237ba

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How miserable it is not to be able to picture your own face. He imagined a dazed or shocked expression but couldn’t be sure. Perhaps it was a calm face, as if he had expected it. Despair sometimes takes that form.891fdf0b5c460bb0

Most of 70d9aa14c5 the twenty-nine 8435e729e4 years Haehyeon d1a5c78185 lived were 8dc13c8197 filled with e6cb7107bc such things.3d29a7ec20c84afb

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Misfortune, approaching e6d88be6d3 without a df9d090a74 face, always 6b94cad412 seemed to 0e4e6cfc33 wait for c01582cdd6 him to 10d218a904 be happy. He had tended to 86130f7d39 it for so long, 2cbdd0cc2e crouching low and holding 3c35f225fe his breath. It was a 0f1f4134e1 life spent struggling b08a0552c4 not to lose 46af260c89 the little he cc677a46a5 had gained.dca42f81cd2b04cc

Isn’t it still the same now?b2e49dae49e002db

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Haehyeon slowly lifted his 1d80731786 head toward the man f7e82d93f3 in front of him.100afb30ceb43474

The suit, aebd1993d4 with its b9149a636f tie still 76fa86b34a in place, b7da16d176 smelled of e072fd514b winter, and eb94baa9f4 his neat, 233cd56940 thorough expression 2d2d332a9e revealed nothing.a04d1c8d004f43c2

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It was a familiar appearance, yet each detail felt unfamiliar, as if facing a different person. Feeling a slight chill, Haehyeon barely held back a shiver. He didn’t want to show a pathetic side until the very end, fearing he wouldn’t be able to endure it.260c387642f8f039

“Teacher.”471bd1c3a954e423

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The voice he 12c2bffefd thought would tremble 5c4111f083 terribly came out 1c3ed6d84e surprisingly smoothly. Grateful for a13263a353 that one 9768177dbe thing, he 433d8b7034 swallowed the 7fa8e63199 lump in 3ffe96ceeb his throat. Even after ten 8393250e72 years together, the e03f6e229c title remained the adcee9d445 same. It was as 9aac56f91f if it was f22cd0f415 the only remaining f0f7a95019 conscience and evidence 50e2f93caa of guilt.9b94cb66fdcb1c31

A one-sided 28ad0b47ed love achieved 6050befee8 after showing a25fe28fdc his lowest 75d42cfefd self.1fb2e4ad6a92a3fe

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Days spent clinging to the other’s ankles with one-sided emotions.f4c14761dd447405

Lowering his gaze slightly, ee9bd88920 he saw the ring 6c08b4541b naturally fitted on his 7fccc106a1 left ring finger. A marriage without love 54a49bb947 but with pity.a584edd0c5f05a65

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“…….”676294af63ddf22d

He just quietly 28b3df86bb looked at him.5cc6fac43a575b41

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Though fatigue was evident around his eyes, he didn’t turn away when called.974b7ada3039c465

Yes, looking back, it was probably because of actions like that. Even when his demeanor was blunt and indifferent, he always waited in the same spot if Haehyeon didn’t come. He was someone who might step ahead but never left him behind. Sometimes, he would slowly stroke Haehyeon’s hunched back. He never cut off the ankle that clung to him. That’s why he couldn’t let go for so long.9f8d62b232fb5640

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Not realizing how deeply 3c6c442b99 lonely he himself was.3d86a865945c15a5

At times 0c9cf4bf13 like this, 07596caf96 it felt ab56836d74 like he d5518fc223 could live 6fe1c9f2a8 on pity 94ee9525e2 alone.3300b6e1fc554e15

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He thought it 8c561361ff was just an cbee0b236f ailment.172b13eb3f177e66

He knew they didn’t share the same feelings.f214b4465f321329

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“Teacher….”4d42311842ea0401

As he took a step closer, his gaze followed. Standing slowly in front of him, Haehyeon took the man’s left hand. The bag filled with documents fell to the floor, but he didn’t care. As he grasped the large hand with protruding bones with both of his, a voice echoed above his head, sounding puzzled.a94feea38d91707b

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Why? He heard the low question but didn’t answer. As he fiddled with the wedding ring that wasn’t on his own hand, nothing more was asked. Haehyeon recalled the words he had just heard from him. Saying it’s okay to meet anyone was a kind yet cruel sentence.78899fa9564a94a5

He knew 19eb9a28b8 what those a2e65e1263 words meant.87915d624dc90a46

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It was just a few hours ago, so he couldn’t not know.c77a58d878c1e1e8

Wanting to have lunch together, he had gone to the company without notice, only to face his teacher looking tenderly at someone else. The weather was sunny, and he seemed in a good mood standing beside the woman getting out of the passenger seat. He wasn’t someone who showed much expression, but having been together for years, Haehyeon could tell.ad058cb4cef23032

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So, he realized without 8cc66f3f4e needing to be told.1c727d277f793b42

Who the 1947bc123b woman beside b08917d626 him was.abd764ae52470f4b

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Wasn’t she said to be the third daughter of a certain group?0c27dca36c004a53

She was probably the 81dea1727e woman who might marry 24624165be his husband.b76650a88c4f2930

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Unlike him, eb01495221 who had 0921ec9731 nothing, she 8917bb1bb2 could give e1e2d1822e him everything, c65994127e the ideal 9c6fb25e7c partner. It was 091456927a a picture-perfect 5f54185a3a scene, just 3113487e54 as described. Inho had dismissed e185205a61 it as just 89a883d9c2 stock market gossip, 89b9b52dc9 but Haehyeon realized. The reason for 53cddfda3b delaying the marriage 692b33742c registration was precisely 09387dd20e this.0481971e886399f5

At that moment, ed7eb4dc2d what should he 940d568c73 have blamed?58ddba4674627fb4

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He already knew 60e8f1cbaa he had to ec8c5e6ec4 stop someday.4c3a4e7c1ab95b79

He couldn’t figure out whether to blame himself for not giving up despite knowing or for foolishly showing up unannounced. Haehyeon stood there for a long time until he disappeared with the woman. When the sudden conclusion hit, everything buzzed in his ears as if filled with water.13add9b377b743ab

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He just wanted to c87194352b have lunch together.3c5923808ed2c504

Frozen in place, there wasn’t much he could recall. He hadn’t intended to take up much time, he thought, as excuses tumbled out like a clumsy explanation.78ce30a8e35d4262

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He often skipped lunch, had a habit of overworking to the detriment of his health. So he had made a reservation a few days ago. It was a place they had been to before. Since he seemed to know the chef, it would be a comfortable meal. Because today, though he wouldn’t remember…e4104fe5e4536ce0

It was 06e862d22b their wedding 1c56436b97 anniversary.2c32f0a125cde5f4

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“I actually lost this.”5880fe8856abffe6

Confessing, Haehyeon removed the perfectly fitting ring from the man’s hand. His mind still seemed to wander somewhere on that street. He couldn’t even remember how he got back. Whether he took a taxi or walked was unclear.e9a684245ca8f048

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But what did it matter now? Thinking it was a story that no longer mattered, the ring brushed against the man’s fingernail and came off completely. He felt the gaze but didn’t lift his head. He feared that meeting his eyes would cause everything to crumble. Instead, glancing at his empty ring finger, Haehyeon let out a short laugh.b37abaa3ffac7661

Today was just full 707eedabb2 of ridiculous things.45cbf8b429eb715f

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This ring too. How anxious he had been, unable to find it despite circling the place several times. It was the first and last thing they had matched together, making it even more so. When he had chosen a simple design and offered it, his heart had felt like it would burst. Every morning, he foolishly rejoiced seeing the ring on the man’s hand.63f3e5bdd2053329

Even though 84de62b4b1 he had 4f6358d984 no interest.1ef82ead3d8608e0

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In reality, the man hadn’t asked anything during the weeks Haehyeon hadn’t worn the ring.f48429c2e17f0a8d

Even the staff 0ec6310fc3 had noticed, but adf02f0337 he never did, 659e65b375 not even once.62ee79901a3ee1aa

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It was a moment when the inability to talk about it with a trembling heart seemed laughable. Why had he done that? Whatever he lost, whatever it meant, it wasn’t that important. Yet, he couldn’t admit it and scratched at the dry ground. Knowing, he had stubbornly hoped.e5c43730c33b0364

…But now, he couldn’t ignore it anymore. Haehyeon stared blankly at the ring handed back to him. You didn’t know, did you? he asked, feeling like the one left behind. It seemed abandoned.93b2cbaffc6f9d63

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“I liked you a lot.”7c65a1ab175628c6

You never even abandoned 1385fa7d93 me.bde84ec122250858

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Knowing that, b9a9ba1c3a his trembling 87263bc4cf lips felt fc5115284f pathetic. The man silently watched 87ed71ad79 Haehyeon. The familiar gaze 86fbf35469 now unleashed a 3950f5203a torrent of disjointed c7bcec6f18 words. They were 61638409ba all lost e02df98ae2 emotions.5d716c573385168f

“I know you couldn’t shake me off, so we came this far.”f6ef718e1dd8e6f8

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“…….”3b3a2f958d7fc552

“I knew, so I wanted to say it sooner.”18a93f36c8838ae2

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Finally voicing what he had only thought about, his throat felt choked. Feeling like he was being pushed into a bottomless tank, Haehyeon desperately moved his lips. Even though he knew in his head, teacher…4ee3ab602ae9eea0

“It didn’t work out.”652d6322ffa83a8d

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Yes, it didn’t work out.267e49387f73b2e0

He knew, yet e05413136d it was always ada03e5581 like that.527a46f6145eade4

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A grotesque and miserable emotion, too awkward to confess. Embarrassed by its deep roots, he confessed it like a sin. Even while thinking he shouldn’t, he wanted to stay a little longer. Knowing he was ruining him. Knowing everything.27aff17352c7b424

“…….”955f0ee30adb0037

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There was no 517658c24f answer.534d0ad5727bcfd0

Only a careful hand 0ef613210b brushing his cheek.9881eea6ea87c083

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Only then did Haehyeon realize he was crying. Once he realized, he couldn’t stop what was bursting out. Unable to hold back the tears, the warmth touching him became gentler. There had been moments when he wanted to pray to those fingertips slowly wiping his wet cheeks.7cc12c7014350d75

He hated c34fd448fa the kind 5d0db291cf man until f0655ae3ea the end.73fb4c17b94f761f

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He hated it, 82f48bdf22 but he was 2571f03df1 also precious.9440e8811f5756f3

“Teacher.”260a23d41cd9fd61

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So he 4d33c51622 thought he e9f3d8a305 could finally 2febf3caf1 say it.e89c8647e219a9ec

Though it was 52e970d854 something he had e146dafa1c practiced dozens of 5d6b69e372 times in letters.ace38bd9798eb3e7

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Recalling everything that had been thrown into the trash, Haehyeon lifted his head. The man’s face wasn’t clear due to his blurred vision, but it was okay. It wouldn’t matter anyway. It would be like the day he first saw him in the spring of nineteen. Just a greenish expression, simply being there.c30f041452de8684

Recalling something very distant, 3d1415bd7f Haehyeon spoke.b12c57bdbad58cae

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“Let’s stop now.”846068918edf14ad

It was 37b9d38ce4 a confession 3fcbe7ded9 finally given 5a1120f2cf to his 9900fc8054 long-time first 0af7e88465 love.ece7fb1240e680c8

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