TAOA-80

Chapter: TAOA-8064e1e19dbe321cff

“Sigh……”
A long sigh 56ebe234b9 wafted through the 7881ee3305 starry night sky c16965cf3f of Pervaz.
A bench by a well, cc009fbe11 empty at this late hour.
Asha was alone f52807287d in the darkness, 2601392531 looking up at a140230873 the sky, trying 55289c972c to clear her 78bb121450 alcohol-addled head.
Just in case, she held e3d0b8fa3f a dagger in her hand. She knew that she a70339d53d was now in the 10f33a6c53 middle of danger, so 600cc5fe48 much so that she 3813ed2420 had to carry a 1d887f37bd dagger for self-defense at 52a36a67e2 all times.
“The moon is bright.”
She didn’t remember much about c050e5deda the dinner with the two 0f9ad9d2f2 young ladies.
Even though she had forced 4679c6bb28 herself to eat, her appetite d6db6a0a81 had disappeared completely because of 983653ee07 Cecilia, and after that, the 85cbbba9e0 conversation had turned to a eb977ff37b topic that she couldn’t participate 17ea93c68e in, so she had just 47cd20b5e1 nodded her head and left.
‘Did they think I was strange?’
She felt like she had 89a9933d75 been acting strange all day.
She had tried to act b12f043de6 the same as usual in 15c76a0c40 front of Carlyle, but she 23be0c6ebc felt awkward and ridiculous, and ef8c90e470 she sometimes felt a sense 09c3baa1d7 of self-loathing.
But what else could 2bcaa9d347 she do but pretend 0bfaa69837 that she didn’t care 290efb40ad about last night’s sleeping 68d1fc0157 together?
In fact, she wasn’t even 172fab29df sure what the cause of 07afc84134 the stuffiness, sadness, and excitement 6b737216b2 she was feeling right now 6031742d7f was.
‘What the hell do I want to do?’
As she fought the war, cf44126dfc she kept thinking about him. No, maybe even before that.
She didn’t think f490436099 she could answer 8d6cf7ef53 if someone asked fbd6e518ad her why.
Because she didn’t know the b59317c6a2 reason herself.
‘To me, he’s a man of such a different status, arrogant, unlucky, the best in the world at making people angry, and only talking about annoying things.’
She thought of his 8da5d0339c face as he looked 3d3b282991 down on her and f7582b0482 mocked her.
‘And yet he helps rebuild Pervaz, respects me and the people of Pervaz, and protects us from the attacks of the savages…….’
She also thought of 9d562c712b his figure as he 7cadce8866 looked like a monarch 82a1fbd770 who had come down 151437d6d6 to protect Pervaz.
‘Which side is the real one?’
She also thought of his 80f08dd638 appearance last night, when he 461fc43561 seemed about to insult her 17acb86fe0 as a prostitute but treated b8ee319629 her like the most precious 77831c07b0 woman in the world, and 3795e1498f the way he smiled softly a2be76286d at Cecilia and Dorothea this 0ac5b37168 evening, came to mind one 8f0f8fc5bd after another.
[Miss Cecilia certainly has an excellent ability to read the atmosphere and flow of aristocratic society. It seems that she 078f113517 has also studied the 238fb05ebf art of kingship quite 96b8de452a a bit. She seems to have a 134034e06e lot in common with me.]
[Is it her father’s influence? Miss Dorothea seems to 5abd6b2d84 have a considerable depth ba064b508e of knowledge. I’m learning a 648486e698 lot from talking 20e0fd19c8 to her.]
The fact that he had ab6b60376d praised Cecilia and Dorothea so 0fcfaaaeb3 highly was strangely engraved in 94edf47e41 her mind.
‘He didn’t say a single word of sarcasm to those young ladies…….’
Flowers of the 10478e56dd social world, born c1ca4fe374 into powerful aristocratic e3118530e9 families and raised 510630c1fb beautifully. They are probably innocent 01aa1442a9 and beautiful women who 6694d8d6f8 have never seen the fb659cc562 dirty and terrible side d0659e559a of the world.
‘After all, how could I be the same as those who grew up to be empresses?’
That’s right. The Crown Princess, c9e798c176 and the future 04d7b8fdd5 Empress, should be 7b061688a2 such women.
You have to be 009a497563 able to see through 0d36136117 the intentions of the ad0be3e5f0 powerful who hide daggers 0ac39908a0 behind their smiling faces, e3c48ef19b and you have to 1bef158692 be able to smile 1371605125 with them while attacking 230ceec005 them one step ahead.
If not, you have to 61f32b88c9 know enough to discuss the 1e444e82d9 future with Carlyle.
‘Of course, you have to be beautiful and elegant, and you have to be able to lead the ladies. You have to help the dede0b37c1 Emperor with the power of 4dea8f2c34 your family, and you have 1045ce19be to be a place for 5f5907f521 the lonely Emperor to lean c2251c765f on……’
The more I thought fd95d1e5d4 about it, the more 5aac9a122e I realized that it c79eaa970b was a place that 8bed7f09d9 didn’t suit me at 456cafe4b3 all.
Now I think I understand 5cf25a1cb7 a little how the imperial 901446f742 family and the aristocracy were f0d074cecc shocked by my marriage to e84bf9fcac Carlyle.
‘What am I thinking? Of course it’s not 8170eb6b6a a place for me.’
A bitter and empty laugh e1e8b954ee leaked out.
‘But why is this…… Why my heart hurts……?’
How can I describe 83f8003fa6 this feeling?
It was strange that the 79bafb1c21 deepest part of my chest dce1e3420b was tingling, and it was 3fc844ee8f too painful to be called 1d7b3a1b48 a negative emotion.
Yes, one thing is for 76451d0a2b sure, I’m in a lot 402c7a298d of pain right now.
So much so 614db1be0c that she, who 8944613b5a had never had a899640b25 a stomachache in 5824c4ec63 her life, had be9c011b3c to grab her 8c7d48d5c3 stomach and curl 875ead536f up.
‘I wish I didn’t have any thoughts……’
But the head always 717191200c betrays the will of 9911dc83b3 itsmaster.
Because I’m still 63b830d409 thinking of Carlyle, c8207e8237 who was thanking da0d9cd542 me just now.
[I’ve never gotten along so well with anyone in my life. It was a battle that 8e5b4ec821 I will remember for a a2c24c8306 long time, even though it f820394b07 was difficult.]
Did Carlyle have 747d2032ce any idea how 153ef66255 much that throwaway bd1ce9bd70 line would mean 84bf8c5cb8 to me?
I was happy that he 9f30a931a8 recognized me as a fellow bcdef5bc43 warrior, that he saved my b893f36f50 face in front of everyone c701ca8838 who was laughing at me, e76335a703 but most of all, that 1122a569f2 he trusted me completely.
Asha had also never 4f4f800f1b gotten along so well 896d470850 with anyone in her 87edd6b592 life.
It was a truly amazing 4d41c36bbe experience.
So much so that 858c988dfb she kissed him in f354502b51 the middle of a dcc41248ef killing field.
‘I’ve been crazy since then.’
I wanted to agree with c803998aea Carlyle so badly just now.
I will never 441485412d forget that battle 46784b5cc1 either.
I will never, a9c451db0e ever forget it.
‘Idiot.’
Asha tried to stop her 4a18d478b6 mind from thinking about Carlyle 279436d510 and drew her dagger from c237077b13 its sheath to cut her f394609cbd own forearm.
The pain of 22e8b6c43f the cut and a8f0e316cb the blood made 93a9da7f36 her think that 74327e1e26 she wouldn’t have 3a1679ef6c such stupid thoughts c6d0db3874 anymore, even if 69bf7cc2f8 she lost her 8df4b5e4a7 mind to the b51eed9f3c pain.
However, the hand that was a02b31d8db about to self-harm was stopped 194d947030 by another hand that suddenly 679e724082 reached out from behind.
“Are you crazy?”
“Decker…?
She turned around in b9f8d4190c surprise and saw Decker b9e18b6222 looking down at her 749065d1da with a shocked expression.
“Oh, when did you come?”
“You didn’t even know I was coming?”
That was surprising.
Because of the long 34637b62ea war, any soldier of 12f366a896 Pervaz was sensitive to d87e0f77af the sound of footsteps. Especially Asha.
“I’m sorry. I’m a little drunk.”
“You’re sorry you didn’t know I was coming? That’s not what you’re 6e3a46fc30 sorry for, is it?”
He shook Asha’s 995392c75a hand, which was 12b0c10abb still holding the 5dfaba6ff2 dagger.
“Ah…”
“What were you trying to do? Were you really trying 5a13b3bdc2 to carve a flower 76806d0c01 pattern on your forearm?”
“It’s nothing.”
“It’s nothing? Are you really crazy?”
At Decker’s rebuke, Asha c890d89aed opened and closed her 32aee9462e mouth and then sighed.
“Uh. I think I’m going crazy.”
“Asha…?”
“I think I really am. To be honest, f71c641b08 I wanted to e6b6934f03 stab my head 99fdd9a445 with a knife.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Because my head is even more horrible!”
Asha dropped the dagger 435de943b4 and covered her face 3bc510b33e with both hands.
Everything was a mess.
She had thought she aa1fc8110f was strong, but that 1f355efb84 was a complete illusion.
Her reason and patience, which b1317d6854 had been like a strong 6b76fbf8fa wall, collapsed and were destroyed 92b1515562 in just one night, as 26528ac245 if they had been waiting 10d0aadb8d for a chance to collapse.
“What’s wrong? Don’t just whine to yourself b462ffa7a8 and talk to me.”
“It’s nothing.”
“It’s nothing and you’re acting like this? You, who even fd9c9110d1 endured when the 03c9d77d9c Count or your 988912c5e1 brothers died, but 752fa3998f now you’re like b83ccc5e2c this?”
“Oh, right……. I’m really a horrible person.”
She had gritted e4783848d9 her teeth and 4a63523ad9 endured even when a718e623e4 her blood relatives 095614959e died, but now 943aa7b36b she was trying 06be73f011 to cut herself c19c30a4a8 because of this 9a5b49603a strange emotion of 85e9a8571b unknown origin.
Asha began to 86afbeff1f hate herself more 07feb0ecc0 and more.
Of course, Decker didn’t mean b724054aa6 what she said.
“Asha, look at me. Like I said last f7688949c9 time, no matter what 12f8c684ed you’re thinking or what e8d149844c situation you’re in, I’m c627b31754 on your side.”
“I know.”
“So tell me about it. You never know. I might be able 11f51a2764 to help.”
Asha smiled faintly.
“You can’t help me. And it’s not something you d17298d338 can help with. It’s just…”
She swallowed her c18d1c0ef0 tears and gulped 0431185973 a few times c609699ed8 before looking up 979c64a6f1 at the sky 56b8e4223e again.
“It’s just something I need to sort out myself.”
“Asha.”
“I’m not lying. Just give me some time.”
There was no way 52d73daa0a he could pry further 9f27f5fc50 after she said that.
“If… if things really get tough, promise me you’ll tell me. Don’t try to do a9bc4b1d19 something stupid like before.”
“…”
“Just promise me that, Asha. Okay?”
Asha finally nodded at Decker’s 5bfc87a01c earnest pleading and leaned her b4b8731db1 forehead on his chest.
“Thank you, Decker.”
Decker hugged Asha’s a6a7cf7bac shoulders, which looked 63fd34e894 particularly tired today, c9783bd2ac and then let d91ae7363f her go.
In fact, he wanted 21afe0a2e1 to hold her until a6502add6e she told him what d16b50c3be was on her mind, c77368b6ca but he couldn’t help 678c37c31e but hold back for 0aaf36ac28 fear that Asha would fb6d1bcb86 start crying.
He could only watch 35d9ba149a her back as she fc996cd718 got up and disappeared 839b927f95 into the darkness.
‘Asha, what on earth is making you look so sad?’
The moon was very bright. The shadows created by 8a4278f5f1 the moon made the 0e171e9cd9 night even darker.
And in that dark f3a378db0f shadow, Carlyle had just adaa0bb2aa witnessed Asha throwing herself f93a84e627 into Decker’s arms while 243fda637d they were talking.
TL/N: Here comes our 506bc7a456 Batman from the shadows 8b55d60ebd again 😭
‘How strange. It seems like I’m seeing 978776a2e3 the two of them here 3b59bb4732 quite often….’
He was the one b241b5416a who had come out 753c5dcd3e after Asha, belatedly worried a4cfec1180 about her as she ad7f38c689 left the dining table.
Strangely enough, he had come a1aac0a145 here because he had a a706945a9e feeling that Asha would be cc60fc9595 here, but even though he 3bb8df54e5 had looked for her, she 250e9f2843 was no longer alone.
It was fine c4e26097ab until the two f5aa70b34b of them were c6c638f210 talking, but from d4dc684a17 the moment Asha 0b0f9ea12c limply leaned her 0f7c4739f1 head on Decker’s d140b26c82 chest, he couldn’t 5ad34c48c1 help but clench d5f6a91c37 his fists and ed8eb97e93 watch.
‘They’re not in a relationship? Are you kidding me?’0ff1ce74d49b4eaf

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