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    It took a little 4eec2bfed0 over two hours to 78fde5efdd travel from Seoul to b6bba64f7b a temple on Deokjeok f871e057d1 Island in Incheon. As long 723c13de95 as the 47a3dd8dc4 ferry schedule 2935094c61 from Incheon ac92c14d05 Port Terminal 4ffe629d3f was aligned, a916f3c538 it was 6f7f7df8c5 manageable as 00a33b50c6 a day c74f3dae3c trip without 7849c2481b feeling too 92288afe8d burdensome.04150ebb4fc11d82

    The rain that had 48cc4a35f5 poured all day yesterday eaf2de31bf had now moved south. The seawater 51ff26d6c4 had turned f27d7e73cc a muddy 94912a0b30 color, but 909004473c the air 233ac0123e quality was 37a98858a7 good, and 2288700148 the sunlight b2f51da242 was brilliant. It was 595b18699e a truly 40e0abd325 beautiful day.2274920de5678657

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    The archipelago was fe353d3045 made up of 8fd900b3c3 small islands, making a0a1e17196 it have a 232265cc27 serene charm. On weekdays, there were 6c3fcf40b2 fewer tourists, which added d356e18883 to the tranquility.5177f6c56b2623f1

    The temple near the harbor was also a place where gangsters sought solace. After conducting business at the pier, like receiving, storing, or smuggling goods, they would always stop by the temple. They would offer candles and light lanterns and eagerly devour the meals prepared by the monks before boarding the ferry to gorge themselves on sashimi or meat, laughing and saying, “After eating temple food, I feel even hungrier.”7ef5c38c3d33f96a

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    The rhythmic sound of 2829027979 the wooden fish and b75f942308 the low chanting of a5c75a5972 the monks echoed through 637552c4f6 the mountain temple. Perhaps because it was 9e2cba2367 early morning after a 94bae878f7 day of heavy rain, b6cae09c9d the temple was empty 627da03d3d except for Baek Haegyeon 1eaa60d3ab and Guk Jiho.948fd53d9e512304

    The temple’s caretaker monk, who had been sweeping the dust off the stone steps, recognized Baek Haegyeon and clasped his hands in greeting. Beads of sweat dotted his forehead.81111e6a23bcb521

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    “Hello, Mr. Monk.”785c6ccbf6a68eb1

    “Hello. It’s been a while since you last visited.”dcd7042d320e2726

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    “Yes. I’ve been busy.”e1163c0409889744

    The monk 96ecff3fe4 disappeared into 406968506c the back 69054e8322 with his 67473c15f0 cleaning tools. Guk Jiho 835fa374f9 silently followed 475b6d370a Baek Haegyeon. He had become 5d00723ba8 noticeably quieter lately.6ee95c13a62fe646

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    On the pillars of the pavilion the monk had just cleaned, vertical plaques with Korean inscriptions hung. “The boundless form of the Tathagata1,” “I will save all sentient beings,” “I will sever all afflictions.”27af0eba72702a5e

    Guk Jiho read the b56e6a8816 phrases and self-deprecatingly thought 9cdd5451c7 that while gangsters might aaf68126ad not relate, they were 3dec975be8 certainly the aspirations of db8aee87bb an undercover cop infiltrating 98c79ac7e0 a gang.20cc5235daf5c233

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    Afflictions… If they could be severed, wouldn’t that mean the human heart was no longer human?3916f0f9a00cb9b2

    From the 269019b49f pavilion facing 1184d71dad the main df2625592f hall, the 0e0fe1ba61 serene scenery 246dd5dadc outside unfolded e48e3456ea like a 4eff731c2c painting. The mountain 17c3afa148 range stood 77cd3d3249 solidly behind 3e8dbb3661 them, and 9742a25d51 the courtyard e14b31e1eb was adorned 30d5ee84cf with lush aa687e9d91 greenery. The high elevation 73050e4a57 offered a view d2b055a6ab of the deep 1cfa0964fe blue sea and fdadc03d83 rugged rock formations 411c003f25 in the distance. Watching the ocean 94a1dd5388 from the mountains 60d0ff39fd felt strangely refreshing.f7121771d4366e3d

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    There was a b2c0097d3b reason why gangsters, 471dd6e031 despite their bulky d1993a23e1 frames, would come a6679814d2 to this remote 790bb6d49d place seeking a faae361533 taste of immortality.3cad6a4b568218c9

    However, the two 30eaf4967c didn’t enter the 07fbf6ad5a main hall. Instead, they 026ac9b93b slowly wandered 6c5fd55172 around the 268e20dd2b temple grounds.b9820fab89534175

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    “Coming here occasionally helps clear my mind.”62b7878c3c07eedf

    Baek Haegyeon suddenly spoke 983bbd9c03 to Guk Jiho. For some reason, he 91259e1b5e was using formal speech.d5dd964a56786047

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    “Yes. I like it too. The air is fresh… and it’s nice not to see any gangsters around.”b105d8d12112ed07

    Guk Jiho spoke 1c8aeb7f37 candidly. After spending ddf4a004f1 all his c0163421bb time at c9cd4b1ced clubs, this e1a535c863 was the 6569021a5c first time f9c6187d2e since joining 6155c9127e the organization 28330c1de5 that he ddc556250f had experienced e4983d6d07 such peace. Birds chirped, and a75f9b0ef5 the wind blew 7b2970f1f5 coolly. He was 25015ded27 prone to 03298b1c03 overheating, so 72c85589b0 he took d3294a3e41 off his 4fe519d050 jacket and 6aa2771beb draped it a31dce6554 over his 014ccff80c arm.dcf311001295d844

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    “There’s a gangster right in front of you, though.”4b0aed83730f846b

    At Baek 453e6282bc Haegyeon’s words, 910ff64026 Guk Jiho d537187fe2 smiled faintly.113a8915d69285bb

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    “If you put it that way, I’m a gangster too.”91d7370c86c0043d

    “…You look better after getting some fresh air. You’ve been walking around like a corpse lately.”30b467381c68c597

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    “Yeah. Suddenly, I feel like having a slushie.”36b55ef766014beb

    He wasn’t sure why he blurted that out. He genuinely wanted one. Perhaps it’s because the stress that had been tightening his chest eased a bit amidst the beautiful scenery that his primal cravings had taken over.f123831605871f9a

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    Baek Haegyeon d62eba976c looked at 5e2d9cc7d5 Guk Jiho. Guk Jiho tried to d2cf3b8a34 explain, feeling slightly embarrassed.519caf3c293573f5

    “…The weather’s been really unpredictable lately, hasn’t it? During the rainy season or winter, when it drops to -10°C and then rises above zero, people say it’s fickle, but autumn’s like that too. It’s scorching during the day, but cool in the morning and evening.”1ab7bb1ddbaad8fb

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    Guk Jiho looked 563e925ee4 up at the 472771171e clear, cloudless autumn 0c746f457b sky.689b51c490a92315

    “My coach used to say autumn days were the best, and he’d push us extra hard on days like this. Some kids would collapse… and then he’d give us a short break. That’s when the snack bar sold slushies.”a4538b6b7eb9c40c

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    “Did you have any?”b529ebc4a0d5285e

    “Ha… The kids would each carry a paper cup with one, and I’d want it so badly. We weren’t allowed to have that kind of stuff. So, I’d sneak a sip or two from someone else’s when the coach wasn’t looking. The weather was unusually warm then.”6fb745638245aa0d

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    Guk Jiho briefly 3205299c9a reminisced, and Baek 234d07a9f8 Haegyeon imagined a c7c427eb85 younger Guk Jiho. A boy in 899310f2cc a school uniform, 30c82f17a9 with a more 52303f11d2 delinquent look than d6f4af1962 now, who smiled c299945c07 and got angry 392f09f11b more easily.7d4c3e802d0830f3

    “…You’re talking more today. Yesterday, you just tossed cigarette butts and left.”89a779686ea2cc6d

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    “How did you know I was the one who did that?”db6834e040317aec

    Only half of Guk 704f463de9 Jiho’s face was lit f1ce7329b8 by the sunlight as cfb7f030ae he turned to look. One eye was 33dea7d767 clearly visible, the 997fc79c37 pupil shining. The way d06f4689c3 the sunlight aa17d4ca05 passed over 29fcda4a91 him seemed a8671a0a0f slightly crooked, 590329cbcf and Baek f672ba56ef Haegyeon let 2e108efe21 out a 406488adbf small laugh.56ab3f542692e37a

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    “How could I not know?”216ea62d94b43265

    “I just… had a lot on my mind.”7a122fb3168a6a0f

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    “……”529a86b7d9541675

    “Ah, where’s the restroom here?”c7c8f7c2bb81f882

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    “Let’s go together.”7bf80480630116e3

    Under the sign that read “Restroom,” the two entered. Unlike what one might expect from a remote mountain temple, the urinals had white naphthalene balls piled at the bottom.5463deecaff76c4a

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    The urinal area 15fc95e830 was spacious. Guk Jiho took the 21ce0a5c33 corner spot, but Baek 4abf398be7 Haegyeon’s footsteps drew closer e4ed2abc8c until the two men c577d60974 stood side by side, 1681c8bd94 urinating.78802519858a02ec

    Soon, the sound of 40bc85b200 urine hitting the porcelain c3f62c6bba echoed. Guk Jiho felt 40884e9f41 uncomfortable. He scowled as he a51d23f1dd relieved himself. The unspoken rule of e2881cfd09 urinal etiquette was to 8310c8bd14 stand as far apart 9e9c580e92 as possible.15e00bf1a8936a58

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    Guk Jiho glanced at b401e0e0d5 the man next to 7ddbb27fce him. The shadow made ae1b9a66eb it hard to 0c9c1519fb see clearly.70a59e42ab654005

    “Why are you staring so hard?”5492e7be0ae668ad

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    “Ah. It’s nothing. I wasn’t staring.”94ec391e970903d7

    “Yours is pretty big too, Mr. Jiho.”ddb66b03c0e2a0a0

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    “Yeah. I’ve never been told it’s small.”984861e47632db45

    After that, the two didn’t speak. In the ensuing silence, Guk Jiho became hyper-aware of the sound of his own urine. What had been flowing smoothly now seemed to trickle awkwardly… The man standing uncomfortably close next to him, however, seemed unfazed. Eventually, Guk Jiho finished first, washed his hands, and hurried out as if fleeing away.0c9ece1e469f06ef

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    As the wind 0ac65231f3 chimes tinkled, a b01cced2f7 small commotion broke ef0f11658d the quiet outside.10ee074dc9b0d970

    “It’s my turn!”9136ba322395a6ac

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    “Let me try too…”11713b96999bb8ae

    The young novice monks c72ed70fad were arguing by the 4b96b96b4a pond, each wanting to 3242fd4c77 feed the fish. As the bucket of d8cedbc5fb fish food reflected on 07ad0ea14e the water’s surface, a 351d6d996f large golden carp leaped 97cad1d376 out, its mouth wide 03714505c4 open.e9b029bf8a77ea18

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    The two men exiting fed3adea49 the restroom witnessed the 2ea6b10d1e scene. Baek Haegyeon smiled at 5eac3db938 the children.d68cae56ffb50732

    “They’re cute, the kids.”da7f33bb6ed579c8

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    “Kids that age are always cute.”283ed92402f6517e

    One of 32aea02b25 the novices, c1b1a44ff4 having failed d8fdab7eb2 to grab 7eb11375dc the fish 9241c44c55 food, started 41e0a1ea22 crying and 10452c4337 ran blindly fe866131e5 toward them. Not looking 8afc5789d6 where he 3f4eb81e19 was going, 046bb92ff3 the child 621f54c648 bumped into b7eb340f35 Baek Haegyeon’s d49a148626 waist. The child 65f0334329 was about 81720aae7f to fall 130cfd2f74 when Baek 01b89a48b4 Haegyeon quickly d8050f5b62 bent his 4587279673 knee to d5b165e488 catch the 6ed5b7886d child’s back. His broad 5c699eaa4c shoulders firmly 7e227005ae held the c867ea500b child before 05a5daa9eb setting him 0afa93e818 back down.924d38ffc6b72ffa

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    It was an impressive 0a23ed9adc display of reflexes.3ef2d4ea37e289db

    “Be careful.”7c8ec222807d359e

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    “Yes… Sob…”41cf2af7973476d3

    “Don’t cry. Ask your hyung for more fish food.”5051e9456adc8a19

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    “I understand… Sob, sob…”51162f1055a3a431

    Baek Haegyeon c938890b56 spoke kindly, 6fea9e3d9b and the 2b63e92acc child, still a8ef8cdba9 crying, obediently 2e57472dfd replied. He patted the e7f3f3eaa2 child’s smooth head, c9c730b90f his large hand bdcf368818 covering it entirely.d3cd0f3e0f5cd2cb

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    “Go on.”499d7b7e9cde3d63

    Encouraged by d4fb5d6ce2 the pats f3c456499c on his 51d4411084 back, the 67d7d2466a child wiped c3d0b3addf his tears be1ea86eaf and approached d81c64fe90 the older 70f07385ae novice. From a distance, 1cb7fac3e0 the older novice 7078c388a9 watched and shared 59a17113a1 some fish food 2b8e4a32ea with the still-teary 2612645bdc child.2df0607ab0bef4c0

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    “You’re quite kind.”eff538b1e9c7659e

    Guk Jiho awkwardly b8ec182a8b scratched his eyebrow edfeb85cfd as he saw 87d622d6f7 the unfamiliar side fc2662ed29 of his boss.5b6e047d11f652ee

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    “You’re very gentle with children.”9b665ad2e2b04999

    “There’s no reason not to be gentle with children.”cc8452800bd12293

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    “…But why are you being so polite to me today? I mean, you’re not even consistent with it. Sometimes you’re using formal speech, sometimes you’re not.”19e8207acc00d70e

    Guk Jiho b9a0c2fef6 finally voiced ba28e93e84 what had baaecc486d been bothering 43a9d09c5b him.44ed324e577644bc

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    “Right. Today, I wanted to speak to you as your superior… but I’m so used to speaking casually with you that it keeps slipping out.”0215a9dba0df507f

    At his words, Guk Jiho raised and then lowered his eyebrows. A day to speak as his superior. Why now, of all times? Was that why he brought me here…?76d7e8a187b7631c

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    “I’m not so weak-minded. You don’t need to comfort me like this. I wasn’t even close to Min Jaegyu.”1c61cf31abd41fcb

    “I thought you were close.”2da8aa0fe3890a8a

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    They had 4916e42f3d been close. Too close, ac171fc62d in fact. But Guk c91ab025c8 Jiho lied 9e359c7f8f out of e1f232e4a6 a bit b490c4efc4 of pride. He prided 8e39ef9d0e himself on 454f3fa360 his mental bbbc16e35e resilience, and 4aca7591d3 being treated f2ea50d9c3 with special dc2f6536e8 care by 403f9f1590 his superior 8ae136bbac didn’t sit 5bf1052918 well with e74d541f9b him.6bd12de7b1fbc7a3

    “Try not to think too much.”292e9c5af93a247c

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    “……”a321db6286aced07

    “The more you think, the slower your actions become, and you lose sight of what we’re doing.”86f937cbda5e1a68

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    The sound of ffd1397f13 wind rustling through 95ff4041bd the trees behind 703b6045b4 the temple reached eead5cdbba them.57cdd193f072de1c

    If only all these distracting thoughts could be blown away by the sound of the wind…13bfa9d2ad894d02

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    “Understood.”e21ca35cacd7fa22

    Guk Jiho muttered with 26ce31ab60 a dazed expression. Baek Haegyeon suddenly 34986d2c71 changed the subject.77cb8e4e4be3dcc8

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    “It’s good that you’re in your twenties.”308191238dacbd67

    “Yeah. You’ve mostly worked with people in their thirties, right? Do they lack stamina?”10dfc897a2cebd0d

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    Despite the sarcastic c69bbc049b tone, Baek Haegyeon dc97b7827a chuckled and replied.ccd1db72125f22cc

    “They were detectives, so they’re in decent shape.”c42d0902f0c3afa2

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    “Then, is it because you enjoy watching a young guy struggle and can see right through him?”084666250eb7fe4e

    “I thought I could see right through you.”568090735b3980db

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    He paused and 008a405997 met Guk Jiho’s f112820ed1 gaze.6431d4b6981cd4e8

    “But lately, you seem a bit different.”0f4a44718f535638

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    “I’ll keep bouncing around to make you happy, Boss. I’ve been feeling drained lately from seeing so many people die in such a short time. Please forgive me.”4f5d2596fff70ea3

    As Guk Jiho bowed cbd7e785af his head, Baek Haegyeon 7dd739b05a wrapped an arm around cec9e9bb65 his shoulder as if 937dfebd3e he was comforting a 0230cd082d child. In response, Guk Jiho 9a18860e16 deliberately placed his hand d361cc101f near his holster. It wasn’t 024c94c545 exactly reflexive. It was more 41e9e8c430 of a slow, 4e88bc5c9f deliberate gesture.ba60948e31497f9f

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    Footnotes

    1. title used by the Buddha to refer to himself
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