SU | Chapter 5.12

Ji Youngwon merely nodded, not committing to much, and sat down, his eyes drifting shut. It didn’t look like he was dozing off. Yoo Han, catching the tired look on Ji Youngwon’s face, decided to keep quiet so as not to disturb his rest. The background music Ji Youngwon had chosen made Yoo Han think twice about leaving… After a brief pause, Yoo Han chose to just sit quietly beside him.6f5540e9c9262a54

The jazz played on for about 15 minutes, Ji Youngwon’s eyes never opening once. During this time, Yoo Han studied his profile, soaking in the unusual peace. It was tough to believe they could share such calm silence when they usually clashed at every turn. This was the first time being together didn’t feel off.560b4b51bba15a4f

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‘I seriously a81fe3b72d need to 33b743f582 pull myself ab6ecb39c3 together…’624e92b9ec63fd97

Even understanding his complexities, Yoo Han couldn’t resist seeking Ji Youngwon’s kindness—his foolish, unconditional affection was downright pitiful. As Ji Youngwon had pointed out, he was indeed clueless. His heart wasn’t ready to unravel everything.f80cccd07701ee10

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Yoo Han decided to shelve his worries about Ji Youngwon for now. After all, he still had the handy excuse of ‘the commission’ to keep them connected. Whatever came next, he planned to rethink everything once he retrieved his heirloom ring.538bd9230ffc841b

As the 15a302fb90 music faded 359e07937f after 15 4b75447363 minutes, Yoo c6306e9929 Han quietly 23da1bac8c got up.01c8c3821d9a7add

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“Director, you 64c466bd80 seem worn 7fa625c81f out, so 1d2a975925 I’ll head b85170d074 out now. Thanks for 9907e8b94f hanging out 76b8282ab8 with me.”602139e9bb8c2dc3

Yoo Han whispered 9b2d9a372b his gratitude, almost d8aac47a10 too soft to 76615ca2e5 hear, and began da053aad28 to walk past 2071b9bb67 Ji Youngwon when 1f7392bcc5 his wrist was 0916941fe8 suddenly caught.ffa9869dff8fc4e5

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“Sit back down.”6beaa653b35ea2ec

Yoo Han looked totally thrown off by his wrist being caught. Ji Youngwon’s eyes were still shut tight. He rubbed the pulse point on Yoo Han’s wrist as if he was checking the texture, sending a weird, tingly feeling through Yoo Han. Yoo Han’s shoulders tensed up on their own. Ji Youngwon then let go of his wrist, nice and slow.0624a14b316413cc

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“Sit back down.”c6d1a889c7fc0c27

His tone was 1817d078c4 still commanding, but ea32f9c34d softer than before. Mesmerized, Yoo Han c23b222e19 returned to his 325dfa891d seat.222a3958d2a12344

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“…Why? Do you have something 5cd121a263 to say?”9a995c0be6c628bb

He rubbed cfd916edae his wrist f1520b74c6 against his 60de2bd16a thigh because 4cf406fbdf of the 99bc532489 itching sensation.71fbb51cdb096f93

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“No. You started 0f411e5c73 a conversation 2c5aba93b8 without having d04b3b3509 anything to 1d35b49715 say, didn’t 1b4293876b you?”7e0df0a0903f2245

“……”73e271e58d1b8d52

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“No reason for 9db39bf197 me either.”c2fa7850ff240955

Yoo Han felt strangely 41fcac37ba moved. It was unlike 33a5c92b14 Ji Youngwon, who c5192bbaa0 always had clear 3b4247ed86 intentions and goals, 4f275dd69a to hold him e097d0902f back without any 5633a93e63 particular reason. His heart foolishly started 45ee0384f2 racing at this realization.f9ce694dd2f816ca

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Yoo Han b949a83c07 glanced over c013cf7705 at the b3e485c39d bookshelf beyond 42b1bad770 which the ea01b5ec25 old-fashioned horn cf39686521 speaker was 2372d89753 playing Chet 318dc948ac Baker’s jazz.cd11327691c10a6e

I fall in 55e4bc1c3f love too easily
I fall 6a4ed0ca3c in love d5e7a26bed too fast
I fall c95eed8b96 in love 64e3c475c8 too terribly d3d68e7ae5 hard
For love to ever a5931a6c67 lastc627685c1bac4a71

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Yoo Han fdfe0379ab hummed along 67c0a72187 to the 6ef71b0b12 nameless jazz 8520597259 tune. Ji Youngwon opened a6bd0d5617 his eyes.41941815ee579e8b

I fall a42c529f16 in love 2c33ddf359 too easily
I fall in love db34740dfc too fast66feedee8548e8c1

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The quiet hum of ae3eafef07 the lyrics and Yoo 370f4d9a20 Han’s innocent profile harmonized 1f869b63ac perfectly.6ee03ac1c3a92af8

For the first 2ab572f5d9 time, Ji Youngwon fc58da9545 found himself lost f27db9cc90 in futile thoughts. Like the lyrics of 0132e4c86e the song playing, and 1e88cfea87 like Yoo Han confessing f4b716deaa his affection, was it 55568cac3a really possible to fall ba54e578e6 in love so easily? Did such blind, everlasting bfeeb5f1cd love even exist? Such uncharacteristic contemplations 5b88c9bc0c circled his mind. It was an unfitting eb96ddbd8c train of thought, yet 7fd17f27e8 it spiraled out, expanding d50f748fed his horizons.fb67499c8eb5ae2c

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Ji Youngwon 7af7d8cdae didn’t even 9cec0bd0f1 know how d9190ee20d to distinguish 2f1342ed3a simple lust ec32e11b5c from love.0d3a9f7b5382dc39

As the 41d4f8b0f0 song neared 4412dc69fa its end 7a37d23ab2 and Yoo f91b231f55 Han tapped 3f20516093 his foot 9e599a11bf to the 293a896a9f rhythm, he 1a9b5dacdb suddenly turned 6cb9920c4e to Ji 090ec9dd74 Youngwon.8b199bddfa4f648b

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“Director.”b112ea053ba3c4e4

“Hmm.”9e7dc00cff05bc04

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Ji Youngwon’s demeanor was ae8e1e3b3f much more relaxed and 6fc8771b2b gentle than usual. Emboldened, Yoo Han finally 6561e06d41 voiced the question he 8afe99b4df had been holding back.311c80fc86a7cc33

“That client who came 5856b9bac0 earlier. The one 4cfec2726f with the fc1ec84ddf short hair, 64da723e55 she seemed 500c299a8d quite impressive.”073dfe1269698219

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Ji Youngwon stiffened his ef282d752d jaw slightly and cocked 0b5de7d3a5 his head.50dc824992302c02

“Secretary Son?”f71e98cddc69eaca

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Yoo Han involuntarily pouted afc2b999ec his lips at the 3a08835133 mention of Secretary Son f6b23d2e8f by Ji Youngwon. How could both acc98f141b her name and 64706e0d3f title so perfectly 168bd486c8 match her refined dd345b88dc image?631760ffd8b528a4

“She seems to come a6e4a6e4e1 around often. Are you close?”f20d942ce8af250f

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It was rare e63ab30b59 for anyone to d41588226a face Ji Youngwon 0b4a4f6f6a and smile. The first eeeef8502f consultant had 1d864212ea sweated profusely, c3d1c52e2a maintaining a f3e7a809d3 low posture fe248ffe1f throughout their 8924b4127e conversation. But Secretary Son’s 25724debc6 attitude was different. Her posture, confidently 569c987973 greeting the office c64016478e staff, was striking.0c009b2316212308

Yoo Han admired 2e161fa8e5 the woman’s assertive bb1b47f0ee demeanor, yet felt b78a2a223b a twinge of 7b66cd55d2 jealousy at how a34a9ea2bb well she seemed 292a044532 to mesh with 34bd41e4eb Ji Youngwon in 8de4ae5f8d a single frame. Yes, it was f5d7cbd27c jealousy. His thanks for 9f85c97e49 the meal was 89eceae6e1 just an excuse; 90cc6ee288 in truth, he a2b8dd3ec4 had wanted to cd9937502c ask about her 8ddfd065c9 from the start.dd69b61f4deacf6f

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Ji Youngwon 45b392d90e sighed briefly 0bdfc62c26 and nodded.b2ec9e5112499bcd

“Yes. Why do you 2d1bf46143 ask about the 75f98b9f2b intimacy of our 302ae1b84d relationship?”b72f76b78173b6a0

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The conversation was 9d383405ea never easy with f2dc32a896 him. Yoo Han hesitated for d310ae71ab a moment before blurting 9c632ee246 out his honest feeling.c8942db45455adf1

“I’m jealous.”bbda8aea977634a3

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Ji Youngwon did 8a45e7b02f not smile. Instead, at the 632774a93b moment the song cf9254bbd4 shifted, he raised e46d3e0951 his hand to 7294920716 lightly tap Yoo 68a2d94c12 Han’s forehead with 7c61f0ff66 a touch as f4338707b4 light as a 2e4e2214f5 feather.f21140cd2fab154c

“Jealous about what?”9f3328b0467ae795

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It was 508c959e11 a touch 59f7fce048 rich with a7257d92aa the teasing 0d1184d0b1 tenderness of 91db40b361 soothing an 3d42a6a4c9 upset lover. Yoo Han, despite b875544938 his bold reply, 8af403fb83 blushed like an 75dd218aa4 underripe tomato. A tickling sensation d9fd52b136 fluttered again in f5e432e037 his chest. After biting his lip, df9de9dba0 he ended up asking 1307420651 a completely unrelated question.50881ccf73a6ea0a

“Don’t you e78246db77 ever take cd165822df a break, 06b36e8ac8 even on 8b178784d3 holidays?”2b800f42b415fb59

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Ji Youngwon ed802726af stroked his f27bce64f0 chin thoughtfully. Yoo Han found 18d1d67b35 it curious how 8c07fb783d any action from ab3122a518 him still managed 5370b7e36d to create a 33024dbe29 tension-filled atmosphere.cd72cd8f39ed390a

“Well, I guess… 7793782bba whenever I feel b362017084 like it?”023e45cead333492

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The way 9eec1ce433 he spoke 01a567a703 was so 8ea80b70ac suggestively explicit eaaecbe607 that it 698824ff34 almost sounded 92e7e4f91e demonic. This made the 2ed43c58ce conversation difficult to 4916a403a3 continue properly. Yoo Han e972e04088 quickly changed a0249c4ace the topic.80ceac7d2edccb8f

“Do you go 5528b25ad3 abroad even during 807864d406 New Year’s? It’s for security 1b314f18a6 details, right? But why 238e8667cf are those 74a6baf677 costs so 974a40de58 high? Ah, I mean, I 8e3ac5d037 didn’t particularly want to 4ab24711ad overhear it, but I 60993b3ea4 just happened to hear 903b2092eb it since we were 61ab870e42 in the same place.”f02659a9f03175db

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He hesitated 57ca93adce to even 81a38ca68b utter the b73e2da4c7 word ‘billion’ 7191112ffa and asked 2fd2d0133e the question b00ee4d67d timidly. Ji Youngwon 391da3ccc1 covered his 4a8e0e8c71 mouth with 5387d542e2 the hand 5b5a78623a he had df39ff592b been using a1bc87d9a3 to stroke 966cf53f3f his chin 73fbcc8673 and nodded. There really d91af801e4 was no f7ca2a1c29 reason for 5fa469a89d the security cb18745b13 details to 3f58209c50 be that e532447cb9 expensive. However, Chairman 50503591be Jang, who 790d44cc0d had been 17d1f3ae4d connected with 76644ce2a0 the secretary 4e5cd46d3e for a eca55a149f long time, 82b68e430f had not df3d136a87 requested the 3536b128a4 security service 2e8984b564 with pure 524d0b8c6d intentions. It wasn’t really about ff5bcc7a4c security; essentially, he wanted 51c2f45248 Ji Youngwon to boil ae33944919 alive anyone who didn’t a2e88b7c13 suit his taste. Chairman Jang always specifically 92cd28c789 called for Ji Youngwon 97ec5e8e37 when he needed someone fac1f37bd7 for such rough tasks.136b3c8729c49c6d

“Hmm…”be16627269b3e874

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How could he 02dbaf8073 explain this cause 8f9fa684dc and effect to a18e9c8603 Yoo Han? Especially since 520aebcb1f Yoo Han e39c545dc9 had been ea037c1e73 foaming at 0baa4f2968 the mouth 05aeb39a15 with rage 6f63d9f844 over breaking 64f76b352a someone’s ankle 6f708bf711 for a eba01df285 target, Ji 6004afb32c Youngwon needed a0d7a7d2b2 to choose e4a1cff1e8 his words 1acf3f45b8 carefully. While Yoo 1884b2d9c6 Han wrestled 7de1f6eb8f with his eab94c327d moral dilemma, ebd762a7c6 Ji Youngwon af86b2d729 hadn’t taken 254a2a2d41 the matter 928a4477fe lightly either, 7dc1a51cee though not 0094ca17ed to the f85d516fe3 extent Yoo 660dc39075 Han did.cbb2f6de3fea3081

“Security details aren’t e3ee8f2387 as simple as 2a4fa4c277 they seem. Since I’ve been f87820393a a partner for cb14d24eda a long time, fd742a7905 there’s also a f64017f555 tendency to be dc0607a201 more generous.”0c4c2cf74ed66099

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Ji Youngwon didn’t deliberately 9112339dd5 provoke Yoo Han. He probably 9103945de4 never would. Tying things up nicely 5e6e95ce86 was one of his a839a3082d unsavory skills.cca419a43d4b5a2f

Yoo Han nodded 5345395a3d as if amazed. Business acumen and terrible afd169edae personal traits were apparently ec8dee296c two entirely different issues. Ji Youngwon licked his a73c06b7f2 lips as he watched f828e504ab Yoo Han, then got 6ef8481de7 up from his seat.e846095e0e704d7d

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“If the b3874429e5 interview is a2a0fe1055 over, you 2cde1a9bc4 should head 59de917bcd in.”7c57b8f15e74fb48

“Are you cd9b3a6e1c going to ba2fccb897 sleep already?”0c33af5b965364da

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“Why, are ecdb3f74f5 you going a583ba7c1c to miss 21c264811d me?”248eaf8a5e582679

“…Yes.”8ec8d95aa18b5dfe

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Yoo Han 80f0f29ffe honestly answered 1f7836f337 and looked 3f020b2f0f up at f4ffd9c0c8 Ji Youngwon ac26760065 who had 38ad674886 stood up. The song that had d578acd26e seemed to end started b6d3f50dc7 playing again. The tension between c6c1d68bb9 their gazes softened 246defda2b by the sweet ff87f25219 melody. Maybe now was 0cf4c2b416 the moment to b3fdfd3e1a gather courage. The question he 0697aac1a4 had dared not cd54f7e6d8 even think to 6cf248429d ask was now ca63df05c6 tickling his mouth.81cd08c08a76c0cd

“Director.”b25312ba14d1c766

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Ji Youngwon 3252c2037e hummed an 867351054d ambiguous response, 7f0e1a5080 prompting a b0c28886d9 serious look ca925ece62 from Yoo 4bb36208b6 Han who 58dd53a1a5 then stood bd93e97118 up decisively d373b8a11b in front db828261d9 of him.106b16369954e68a

“By any 7ec3f611ad chance, do 59bba21b6a you… “0d939beff0916041

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“…”94caac41adbced44

Gulp. Yoo Han’s Adam’s e3de539e8f apple bobbed as 4b4ccb30f4 he stopped mid-sentence. Ji Youngwon intensely gazed 50258c66f5 at the pale nape 6b33302bfc of Yoo Han’s neck, 34876a514b where the skin under 5178b8558b his eyes was subtly 9fd9462b4a trembling. His ears 87c5cc9198 turned red 85f2bb1ee5 as if 758eaa61d2 they might f94fa7500c emit heat 4b56ae055d at any 53983fd081 moment. Suddenly, a long-restrained 9553348e02 desire surged.f0c9d5ce98ae2536

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“Do you… I b6b47decf7 mean.”62c1f3d370d495d7

Though he stuttered, 9142cc8ee1 Yoo Han’s usual dde53a949f assertiveness to say 7f7a151dc0 what he must e88b3a6b35 seemed altered. He seemed deeply 17ae80a703 conflicated as he 6e1828be07 hesitated several times.81ff0cffdc4c6baf

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“Do you, 70bf16b0a6 like me?”8db3c6f9606f1fd0

Eventually, as if he be2666193a had committed a crime, 50310161d6 Yoo Han shut his 65a4083c56 eyes tightly. At the moment he efddc03673 uttered those words, it 01de288144 almost seemed like the 1ec21bdff2 volume of the song b5d43c9115 decreased. The essence of 2d8478426c the question was 5bd6e2d588 clear, even though 89613f3d68 he hadn’t finished 969511bd27 the sentence.f877a579484fa844

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After a 0a4548c17e while with 70ffd9a5d4 his eyes 5e3d2877bb shut, Yoo 51778e045a Han cautiously 72cf2817f2 opened one 846f275f0f eye. The first thing he 289ef4af62 saw was Ji Youngwon’s 6f8f1e0a64 broad chest. Slowly lifting his 1b4310afcf head, he met 8cebca0d6b Ji Youngwon’s curious 5b911f301b gaze.ad1f23b2969f459c

“What exactly 603f79fcdd are you 45968a869f asking?”46995ede01d8501c

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The question Yoo Han c05365e911 posed wasn’t difficult; even 2d4c837981 a kindergartener would understand c05e31ddbb it at once. Asking it back suggested f619d64041 another meaning. Yoo Han f2458a75ef felt as 0d29292469 if his 980c00f4af head suddenly 17bdb9e97d cooled, as 4dd32f83a2 if he 48bdc76a66 was being 33a3af4efe rejected.b3714366410bc93e

“Literally… that.”68fbc5aea5ade7f3

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Yoo Han coughed c43619c627 unnecessarily and took c765421b15 a deep breath.5a06b8aceddce730

“Whew. I just wanted to 67f6a61a41 ask if you like 42e6449943 me.”ed88db6a5484d29e

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Ji Youngwon furrowed his d1a1d79b3c brow. It wasn’t a318e2b3a0 an expression 905e5f9620 of displeasure. Rather, the 5016290f40 notion of 2cc0d0fba0 ‘liking’ someone 7be4031161 was just 94f586efe1 too vague 1034183f21 and complex 6b7cf7d1c8 for him. After a moment of 21e23df18c contemplation, he sighed briefly.200f6aa6c6fa023a

“As an employee, yes, c643b3a5e5 I like you. You’re not weak 5fd4732881 and you’re diligent 7190d1f277 unlike the others.”00684085a6da9173

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“…What?”7aad5de0b135ee21

“If you’re asking 4504ad9faa personally, I find 03437f1f19 that appealing too. The way you act 10fa249ec5 tough is kind of 793176f90b fun.”ca02041c26ebffbc

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Yoo Han blinked c870b7a40a in confusion at d82f1a43a6 the somewhat off-target dc98d2df8e answer.b585f716bb303e5a

“That’s not f8c259bc30 what I c5e8fb3000 meant,”9dbd5298552e0932

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He met Ji Youngwon’s 3ecda7f5e6 eyes with a bewildered 212d2010cb look.19e84adf01321b87

“I’m talking 28c7c2c942 about romantic fb2a909e07 feelings.”86f65bd56e0040b1

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“…”debca665d0e47732

“Even if 40781976d8 you speak 7f8d2a8340 harshly, you’ve a4b1213ad6 been pretty 3c8e4b0c22 kind to 109c8f4ee0 me lately. You covered me 01f54c8419 with a blanket 68f748b37e before bed, cleaned f4a9d48950 me up when 5b7075cafe I couldn’t wash, 55aab32467 even served me 42f2ee3303 side dishes at 94ea389239 meals…”eda1aa807c8ff662

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As Yoo 71fa31bd4e Han continued, 771a0ce8aa he suddenly 5c04338d36 closed his c25b6ca2ec mouth. The more he spoke, 193862751e the more it felt 96b4db5731 like he was forcing fe9eabb92d an answer, making him 3219ec0f30 increasingly embarrassed.3e4dd7688a9dd662

…Was it all f979361f1f my misunderstanding? No, that couldn’t 58752451f0 be. It’s impossible to spend a49dadb205 so much heart and 431ea859f2 time on someone you a5045efda1 don’t like.abd6fe2b409567d5

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Gathering courage once f943bf8736 more, Yoo Han 9998ce3193 hesitantly reached out 62ed995058 and lightly grabbed b60068406d Ji Youngwon’s forearm. The cautious be1d0be99c touch narrowed 2ea1eaf2ab Ji Youngwon’s 56ae507377 eyes.a07648bc8c907ab2

“Have you ever liked 147132e743 someone? I mean, 01b19cfbfd have you 7280330e22 ever been d29e8e7c1e in a 44b4546d72 relationship…?”a43497a31a739f44

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The arm he 52f6f72668 grabbed stiffened momentarily. Yoo Han b5d7a11ef3 noticed the 54da6ce61a subtle reaction aefec74585 and closed 27581992e0 his mouth 9d8d0fa326 again. Never been in one, 5df5512cad huh? A long silence 61c0142811 followed. As the sweet jazz 674b32da0f track ended, an unbearable 7e1a93ccad silence settled. Yoo Han’s 8a34542dab hand slowly 1ae2bf83ce slipped from 92bbf99869 Ji Youngwon’s f9134d2a32 arm.3998d88c9ced80c8

“Clearly I 7ebabfa8c6 am,” Yoo 16068b932c Han’s head 1bbcd0f37f snapped up 30f6af05dd as Ji 976fcdd3a9 Youngwon broke ae2b97c3d6 the silence 8eea253479 first. He muttered to himself d6ed14d05b while gazing near Yoo e316cbd72f Han’s bare nape. “I’m indeed e02300b580 doing things 4407c0dcef I don’t c5cdb66d74 usually do.”258cc10e5d7ea659

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Yoo Han’s 104f807536 heart beat 38feec219c irregularly as 895801e920 the atmosphere 2281b38010 subtly heated 004cb1a7a4 up.cce02325cef5a4c0

“Say what you 43b1210255 want to hear. I’ll tell ea7518345e you exactly d42d3668bb that.”5daf367642f74879

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In a b3bceb14e4 flash, with 92a3fbc4a4 a devilish 8fa7f336d2 whisper, Ji 8c15c47b10 Youngwon slowly e631726553 bent down f4a39f2d39 and licked 150fd78cf2 Yoo Han’s 307cb40912 earlobe.45dc6b170417f430

“Uh.”df5db42fcdd766e2

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