SU | Chapter 4.1

Yoo Han blankly stared at Ji Youngwon’s retreating figure down the corridor with the bedroom. He felt like he was sprawled on a minefield, unable to move easily. It seemed that once he got up, he’d cross a river he could never return from. Yoo Han glanced at the front door behind him with an anxious expression, and then at the end of the corridor where Ji Youngwon had disappeared, before finally dropping his head.

His hesitation didn’t last long. Yoo Han slowly rose from his spot and took a step forward.

With each step, it felt like mines were exploding under his feet, making his hair stand on end. Despite the trembling fear, the choice not to kick open the door and escape felt natural, his steps unwavering.

Yoo Han knew exactly what following him meant. He couldn’t stop his steps because if he ran away now, Ji Youngwon would undoubtedly return to the boy he had brought earlier without a second thought.

He stopped briefly to pick up a bag of crushed cookies. Yoo Han, holding a crumpled box in his left hand, placed the cookies inside and resumed walking.

“……”

Not a woman, but a man. And oddly enough, a boy of his own age who bore a striking resemblance to him. Ji Youngwon was reacting to his body as if looking for a substitute. Yoo Han felt a strange mixture of emptiness, despair, joy, fear, excitement, and sadness stirring within him, unfamiliar emotions that made his chest heave.

Eventually, Yoo Han stood in front of his bedroom with the broken cookie box in his arms. The bedroom, an archway without a door, was still tidy, overly barren, and bright.

After standing there for a while, Yoo Han shivered when he felt breath on the top of his head. A freshly showered Ji Youngwon blew a light breath and passed by Yoo Han.

With his hair still wet and wearing a robe, Ji Youngwon sat on the edge of the bed. His body slightly tilted as he spread his legs and rested his hands behind him on the bed. Ji Youngwon smiled without a hint of doubt, as if he knew Yoo Han would naturally follow his orders.

“Strip and crawl over here.”

The oddly familiar line made Yoo Han clench his mouth. It was the exact phrase he had unexpectedly heard at a pension where an affair had taken place. Though the line was the same, the weight and atmosphere this time were utterly different, leaving Yoo Han unable to make even a light retort or joke.

Licking his dry lips, Yoo Han extended the box of cookies he was holding.

“Where should I put this?”

Ji Youngwon scoffed.

“Drop the excuses.”

“It’s not like that.”

With a look of injustice, Yoo Han slowly placed the box on the floor. Ji Youngwon still sat spread-legged, looking at Yoo Han with an imposing gaze, his words light but his eyes heavy.

Yoo Han couldn’t look him in the eye and kept lowering his gaze because he caught a glimpse of Ji Youngwon’s black body hair and large genitals between the parted robe.

“Strip in ten seconds.”

Yoo Han blinked rapidly. He had often fantasized about a night with Ji Youngwon, but he hadn’t anticipated it would happen this way. Perhaps it would have been better if it started without a moment to regain his senses, messily entwined. Naked under the stark white light, he would have to strip off his unremarkable clothes one by one….

“Ten.”

“Uh….”

“Nine.”

Eight, seven. Ji Youngwon was playing the cruel hunter chasing a frail animal. As the seconds ticked down, Yoo Han, driven by urgency, hastily threw off his jacket. As the warm padding hit the floor, his worn white t-shirt and gray sweatpants were all that remained.

“Six, five, four….”

Wait a moment. As if a spell was cast on the countdown, Yoo Han bizarrely couldn’t even realize what was happening and quickly stripped off his clothes. He hurriedly took off his t-shirt, leaving only his drawers, and pulled his pants down to his ankles. With his white body exposed, Yoo Han lifted his head again. Ji Youngwon had long since closed his mouth, leaving exactly three seconds remaining. Yoo Han, not having the courage to pull down his underwear, slowly knelt down.

“Am I really supposed to crawl?”

Ji Youngwon didn’t laugh.

“Yes.”

As soon as the command dropped, Yoo Han bit his lip hard and crawled on the floor. Crawling like a dog, the path seemed unusually long. Reaching between Ji Youngwon’s legs, Yoo Han raised his head he had been keeping low. He couldn’t look directly at Ji Youngwon’s genitals, so he fixed his gaze on Ji Youngwon’s chest.

“Ha.”

Ji Youngwon smirked, watching Yoo Han who had obediently followed the command to strip and crawl. Yoo Han’s knees and palms were already red, and parts of his drawers were slightly damp. Ji Youngwon clenched his teeth as if his sadistic tendencies might burst forth at any moment.

Yoo Han, overwhelmed with shame at the state of his lower self, had his ears turning pink. In reality, his pathetic body had reacted from the moment Ji Youngwon had grabbed him by the collar. Then Ji Youngwon muttered softly.

“Is it because you’re gay?”

“……?”

Expecting Ji Youngwon to take a more aggressive action like ordering him to suck or grabbing him by the hair, Ji Youngwon instead uttered a narrow-minded comment. Looking at Ji Youngwon’s moist chest, Yoo Han opened his mouth dumbly as their eyes met.

“Or are you the easy one?”

Yoo Han twitched the corners of his eyes. The tone was completely different from his usual mocking and scolding tone. It was closer to pure observation rather than a question or disdain. While Yoo Han knew Ji Youngwon didn’t expect an answer, he opened his mouth unknowingly.

“…Neither.”

Ji Youngwon hummed as if waking from deep thought.

“It’s just because I like you. You already know that I like you.”

At that moment, Yoo Han had to clench his fists as he felt a bolt of lightning strike his body. He helplessly watched the joy of his confession hitting him squarely in the chest like a boomerang. It was more than just realizing an attraction and acknowledging his feelings. The term ‘caught’ seemed more fitting. To seep in, to acknowledge emotions, to pour out his heart. The sequence, not new to him, felt like an accident.

Ji Youngwon, on the receiving end of the confession, remained composed. Or rather, he seemed determined to harden his expression frightfully. Having lived a life devoid of trust or affection towards others, it was too much for him to accept Yoo Han’s pure confession at face value.

“How low must life be to fall for someone like me?”

An immature defense mechanism emerged. Hearing Ji Youngwon’s inelegant retort, Yoo Han finally exhaled the breath he had been holding.

“I agree with that.”

Ji Youngwon’s lips loosened slightly at the astounding response. He shook his head and took off the robe draped over his shoulders. The robe slid down his robust forearms smoothly. Yoo Han’s pupils shook aimlessly.

Ji Youngwon, holding Yoo Han’s gaze, moistened his dry lips. Yoo Han, kneeling between Ji Youngwon’s legs with his white body exposed and confessing his feelings, indeed lacked mood and emotion in the setup. However, Ji Youngwon’s genitals were as stiff as they could be.

“This is a strange way to mess with someone.”

Ji Youngwon then stood up and grabbed Yoo Han’s hair. Although prepared, the touch was rougher than expected, causing Yoo Han’s eyes to close tightly. Ji Youngwon lightly slapped Yoo Han’s cheek with his other hand, a signal to open his eyes, but Yoo Han, perhaps misunderstanding, bit down hard on his lower lip. Ji Youngwon softly chuckled at Yoo Han’s behavior, expecting violence rather than sex.

Yoo Han knelt with his back against the bed frame, and Ji Youngwon, now gripping his hair with both hands, brought his erect penis close to Yoo Han’s face. The mix of body wash and his stark body odor was intoxicatingly sweet, making Yoo Han’s eyelids flutter.

“Huh.”

Yoo Han opened his eyes, swallowing a cry of astonishment. He had anticipated it to some extent, but not to this degree. It looked less like a human genital and more like a dark-red club. While he couldn’t say he hadn’t had male experiences before, this size felt like losing his virginity all over again.

Blinking rapidly at Ji Youngwon’s unbelievable size, Yoo Han found even the thick black hair surrounding Ji Youngwon’s genitals to be surreal.

Trying not to be intimidated, Yoo Han forced his gaze upwards, scanning Ji Youngwon’s torso. Ji Youngwon’s physique appeared much more formidable than when clothed. Not a body crafted from regular gym sessions, but one seemingly forged from constant, rugged activity, emitting a wild scent.

His thick pectoral muscles were impressive, and the oblique muscles along his ribs formed a perfect triangle. Yoo Han felt like he was falling in love for the second time. Admiring Ji Youngwon’s appearance was a moment of pride rather than shame for the first time.

As Yoo Han’s eyes wandered, he remembered the scars he had secretly glimpsed at the pension. Some were deep indentations, while others were slightly raised with new flesh. Frowning, Yoo Han unknowingly reached out his hand, fearlessly stroking the scars along Ji Youngwon’s waist.

Ji Youngwon chuckled at the ticklish sensation, his grip on Yoo Han’s hair tightening. Yoo Han’s head was forcefully pulled back, his neck bending sharply against the mattress. Taking this as his cue, Yoo Han opened his mouth slowly in resignation. Ji Youngwon silently observed Yoo Han, whose eyes were already reddening and breathing became labored through his nose.

The blunt tip slowly invaded his mouth. Even without fully entering, Yoo Han’s mouth was stretched to its limits. With his neck bent back, he couldn’t freely open his throat, making the position even more challenging.

Ji Youngwon slowly moved his hips. Satisfied with the angle that made Yoo Han’s mouth a usable orifice, a content sigh escaped him.

Yoo Han’s body convulsed involuntarily. If Ji Youngwon had thrust in quickly, perhaps Yoo Han could have let go mentally and endured it, but the slow pace allowed him to feel every vein on Ji Youngwon’s shaft dragging over his tongue, prolonging the torment. It was akin to a slow torture. The pre-cum was deliberately smeared across Yoo Han’s throat, and tears welled up naturally in his eyes.

“Move your tongue.”

Ji Youngwon’s low growl came as Yoo Han realized that his entire body was stiff, not just his tongue. He shifted uncomfortably, trying to adjust his position, but Ji Youngwon impatiently pressed down on one of Yoo Han’s thighs with his right foot.

“Uh!”

Startled, Yoo Han grabbed Ji Youngwon’s thigh with both hands, his nails scraping hastily though Ji Youngwon paid it no heed and continued to force himself deeper.

“Ah! Ugh!”

The difference between willingly and forcibly opening one’s throat was stark. For Ji Youngwon, it was pleasurable; for Yoo Han, it was agonizing. Overwhelmed by nausea, Yoo Han’s tears flowed freely.

Ji Youngwon purposefully bent Yoo Han’s neck deeper, a manifestation of his sadistic tendencies. To Ji Youngwon, a natural dominator who relished control and force, such acts, which went beyond common decency in their violence, were pleasurable. In light of such tendencies, the way he held Yoo Han’s neck and thrust against him might seem almost tender.

“Gag, ugh…”