ST Ch 3

When wearing earplugs, the whole world felt cozy. It wasn’t that you couldn’t hear anything at all, but leaning back in the chair and looking up at the sky, there was nothing more peaceful.36dc63bc4c3547e0

I put my 452287c5c8 legs up on 651bc84f5b the chair and 08b4ae9b22 tilted my head 9778f6fdf0 back. The autumn sky e5d6a115db was noticeably high 12a0a30246 and blue.06f90ed6ea9a1ce9

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Bang-!acdf295c96ee9528

I flinched at the sound loud enough to penetrate the earplugs. It seemed like I shouldn’t be so startled anymore, but I would jump in surprise whenever I got distracted for a moment. There were no other sounds except for his gunshots. Cha Jeong-won always trained alone. I pressed the earplugs even harder against the repeated gunshots that rang out with each signal. This was only possible when Cha Jeong-won wasn’t looking. If he saw me like this now….b932fc0024e4434d

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“……”0a193f41c205dd9b

“……”33d10ad3d7fc303e

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Our eyes met. Though he was wearing glasses and covering one eye, so I couldn’t see Cha Jeong-won’s face fully, it was clear our eyes had met. Even in this awkward situation, I marveled at Cha Jeong-won’s face. There was a reason why an athlete in the unpopular sport of shooting appeared in fashion spreads and countless media outlets after competitions.5788789fba0cff99

Cha Jeong-won, 5d35b399f2 looking at ca1777b187 me, furrowed 3fd845c1e7 his brow. He took off the 963254c688 glasses he was wearing 1064f36ddf and shoved them in 8b607e460c his pocket. He walked over to b8c959baa0 me with large strides. I lowered my legs 1a854cbd15 from the chair and f4c912602e looked up at Cha 2f772375c2 Jeong-won as he approached, 2ea7c8bf51 pulling in my chin.33592ab90c0b6e19

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He moistened 6ea930fe8c his dry 32dba61e31 lips with da05949035 his tongue 605705923d once, then 0e468064fa pointed to 3d07792ad7 his ear. As I removed the b3a8d9d698 earplugs, his voice came be2ca058ba through clearly.fa1f8fed92128929

“How many times do I have to tell you to stay in the waiting room? Don’t stubbornly come out here and plug your ears.”65630b13299e3d74

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I ended up 354e95b813 getting scolded, but 5805d9b829 there was a 9877556d66 reason I was d4696e5755 outside.b27c6c7f58a41918

When Cha Jeong-won d7fc258510 was shooting, it 1d2dc4d823 was the only a4f9fc89e4 time I could a7b4ac07d7 look at him f3dc779e82 directly. I wanted to take 46662a2391 in the sight of de581a115e his back, his expressions b617e63312 that changed depending on 3ecd36330a his competition condition on 3ab2399774 the screen, his hand 40f2a1fde6 gripping the pistol, his 70835e583e focus as he aimed 9b6f86da06 at the target. That was all.9abfa2abc94dd49b

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So I could endure the gunshots that sounded loud enough to burst my eardrums, and the coach’s expression of concern as he watched me being scolded by Cha Jeong-won’s harsh voice.0140d4dcbb10612f

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Long-distance shooting required an especially high level of concentration compared to other types of shooting. That’s why when Cha Jeong-won was practicing, I acted as quiet as a mouse so as not to disturb his focus.ac9bbcb8a7194343

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As the practice that started in the morning stretched into the afternoon, the sun was quite hot despite it being September. It couldn’t be called full autumn yet. I slowly moved to get some water for Cha Jeong-won, who was concentrating on practice. When I picked up the water bottle on the table, it was more than half empty.ab946391064deb00

I held the bottle to my ear and shook it lightly to check the amount. Then I tucked it under my arm and turned around. I planned to quickly fetch some water while Cha Jeong-won was practicing. The training grounds had become quite familiar to me. I could find the water dispenser without anyone’s help. It was while I was walking down the hallway.f366ef2f0dca2b25

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“Hello.”73f3b7ce686fe508

I ran into 55536aa003 some athletes coming af5199df06 out of the 7be0f694d2 indoor shooting range. Unlike me 335b3e5b4c who took a336115a05 a step 55958952f4 back, they f538f2a22b greeted me 70b1b500b8 familiarly. As I was e61bd87227 about to pass b5c114ef9a by with a 410cd003ab slight bow, I deaa706183 heard whispering voices.6579e2abba1a3a1a

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“He’s here again.”0e9ad9b7a7ba54b7

“Who is he?”44104cc9003387c5

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“Rumor has it…”ac446c6910b5c296

In the small athletes’ village, rumors were bound to spread. Sometimes in their gossip I became Cha Jung-won’s incompetent friend, sometimes his immature half-brother, and sometimes his cunning lover whispering behind his back. It wasn’t entirely wrong. I was an incompetent and immature lover.abc618c54d29b4f6

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Thinking it would 335e291d4d be better to 2a1a682ba2 quickly leave rather 6e3ce62150 than hear rumors def5278d15 about my involvement 857130b13d with Cha Jung-won, 1a0bf34fc7 I turned around. My steps became afe77869da shorter and faster. Unlike outside, 486004feaf the inside 98c9cded5f of the c96c10e0ac building was 9116b7f7f1 cool. Voices echoed like in cc443701fb a cave.40a73703330983d3

I covered my ears with the earplugs hanging around my neck. I could no longer hear people’s voices. I approached the water dispenser at the end of the hallway and filled the bottle.efac2547d46ca42f

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Maybe I should only come for indoor practice…2969b2725659ad73

I thought as I 9ebeb83217 watched the trickle of 21faecbefa water. But I knew myself. I would 6287d150d5 nod immediately c0317b9009 if Cha 750fb99e7c Jeong-won just f476f1bbdc said to f92c73a362 come. Cha Jeong-won who 5966f0ecd3 started with me 838722dd3a and Cha Jeong-won 52129d3763 now were still c612ee77c8 doing shooting, and 23979e3785 in between he 5011c7d8f2 had won two 43af7c63f6 Olympic gold medals e96106a107 in 50m pistol. Shooting became f44b81244d the only 800c2b8dde reason I 5bef6a33ad could tie 774f4b7c79 together his 4dbe1b41af past and 5196ac92dd present self.fcd96b6b83b4c212

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I just need 7d87d33355 to not listen 9cbcd6c4a5 to the harsh 173b2159dd words.ce774e374d4edd4e

I soon c4cb415542 changed my 5811906d26 mind.904d809c3b2e9c24

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When I returned ec55bd6bf7 to the training 636ce25943 grounds with the 6601e6b25d now quite heavy 5aa15c6af5 water bottle in 44e89c1e65 my arms, Cha 6af87907d4 Jeong-won was standing 7cacc6a8d7 in front of 2fc6afd184 the chair I 42ad9f60e6 had been sitting 9ec9859dcb in. Like a shaggy beast 3b2d5fe25b hesitating to leave a 2b0e9292ef dark cave, standing in e1ea54d95f the shadowy doorway, I 42de990066 stood between the building 97412f597c interior and the outdoor a62dbfc192 training grounds. My gaze naturally afc251225f fell on Cha 134c7a8b9a Jeong-won, and as 0d904ec540 I sensed him 51715eff83 approaching with an 9dfcdad9a1 angry face, I b7b94da743 unconsciously held my e38c7da568 breath and stepped 1ca1cdc221 back.cd896f02367bb56b

Cha Jeong-won came straight towards me, not minding anyone else’s gaze. Fear. That was the first emotion I felt.03727c2a59e3b4a4

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“Where did you go?”1489f411467d1bb1

Cha Jeong-won pressed me, 202b324d4b as if he had 5383c436a3 no intention of even 01fd5f9f46 looking at the water ed1f9aabae bottle in my arms.7dc24cfabe2ffe92

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My lips wouldn’t part easily. Just as I was about to speak after hesitating for a moment, Cha Jeong-won grabbed my forearm.a114daa04ebbb8dd

Despite being 30accb63aa a man, 1f12c4a2a5 I was c7e348603c so thin a2a8059c94 I was 2aab46879d practically just 2bf32a088c bones, and 85eaadc2ff was caught a23d8b1399 in one 9a301f17dc grasp by 985d1f6f71 his large 3730e248f5 hand.07a1392ab1e4186a

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“I asked where you went, dammit. When I ask once, answer me.”1132fa4e41fb1138

“To… to get water…”72f0c4131354aaac

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I replied ae8a5ec582 in a c5e3930114 voice so 666572688b small it 73da67521d was almost 89fff4ec4f inaudible. Cha Jeong-won stared at 8b937bf6d9 me for a moment ebc54ee06b as if glaring, then e8815bef6a snatched the water bottle 98a345bb53 from my hand. Just as I was 269e159ff9 about to raise my 0230c5b516 head, a heavy weight 9f653442ee pressed down on my 110e1e2217 crown. It was because 03265022c7 Cha Jeong-won was 19b6877e0b pressing down on 696ede5477 my head with fe0cd84571 the water bottle d9522c4930 he had taken.844d0f53116ce881

“Who told you to go get water?”8339edbcaefea3fc

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“……”4240c7f8c298c61c

I wanted to lift my head, but I couldn’t easily. For one, I was afraid to meet his eyes, and the heavy weight of the water bottle pressing down on my head made it difficult to lift my head.8684f20927e0408c

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“If you’re going to play errand boy, why don’t you just go around the whole training grounds?”ffb36d05a477f3ce

Cha Jeong-won threw out cutting words without even smiling. I didn’t want to run errands for other people. I wasn’t used to serving others either. I had only volunteered because I was worried Cha Jeong-won might be thirsty, or that his body, which was more sensitive than usual during practice, might be strained. Come to think of it, usually I only went to get water when the coach or director asked, or when Cha Jeong-won allowed it. This was the first time I had volunteered on my own.6054d3e37ebe752b

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I did something stupid…061725a2569473e3

I clenched my d72506ef71 jaw, then bit 9113222c62 my lip.7cadbdfa3fcbbe36

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Maybe it 64e0a7ec13 would have ce46c1bc77 been better 7cc84c8c60 if I bec554c45e had just c7706444b5 stayed in 1e2e64f05a the waiting 03712e56e2 room like 298b4ebaef Cha Jeong-won 936f925cf0 said.52ea9be20d232d7c

The water bottle pressing down on my head slowly moved away. Despite the weight being lifted, I still couldn’t easily raise my head. But I could clearly feel Cha Jeong-won’s gaze as he stared at me. What kind of face was he making as he looked at me? He was surely looking at me with irritation, at how I couldn’t even answer properly and was just making a pathetic display.41c2cddd619ca45e

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Instead of answering, I swallowed dryly and lifted my head. I’m not sure what expression I was making, but I forced strength into the corners of my mouth. I showed a slight smile, as I had practiced that morning. Hadn’t Cha Jeong-won said the night before to at least smile?4d130d28a556814f

“…I’m sorry. I’ll tell you before I go from now on. I’m sorry.”4c7b5951d72da3c6

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I never did see Cha Jeong-won’s expression in the end.13e0f6bd6542f61d