SSEI | Chapter 4.8

It was an image 2e409f59b8 of a gloomy lover b27543a0f9 and himself comforting that b4eea7e671 lover. Every time he d6a3f6241f saw it, he fa251a0530 felt that his 2afb61e502 original lover was 01e388cb05 a surprisingly kind ab1548a9e6 and caring person. Would it have 6bb3fa85b0 been a little ed5b2aa9ea comforting if he 7c6a1ec5d9 had been with e669545563 that person in 67397d69a8 this situation?72da65ffed2331a2

But now wasn’t the time to dwell on such thoughts. Yuan, who barely regained his senses, blinked and looked around.4d5eea7e75dde6df

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The Red Man was still sitting and muttering something, but Lork, even in his dazed state, was reaching out towards the man. The two hands grasping the man’s neck were shrouded in an unknown black mist.dd43120b8e4b53cb

“Shouldn’t I stop that?!”8d63571fd634ee7b

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Since he had already obtained the crystal orb, it wouldn’t matter much if the Red Man died, but Yuan instinctively felt a surge of unease and stood up. He felt that he shouldn’t leave it alone. He ran towards the man with all his might.31b20ecc2c5a97a7

“I have to protect it. It’s not because I want to, but it’s all I have left. So, I have to protect this…”da772f447d784a89

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Lork was still muttering in a half-entranced voice. Yuan couldn’t understand what he was saying at all, but the phenomenon of the mist wrapping around the man’s neck didn’t look good. It might be harmful. Not just in this round, but in all the rounds to come.ca332e379f6af8f4

Yuan forcibly tore the crystal orb from his chest and held it up. His hands hesitated for a moment out of fear of doing something for the first time, but he couldn’t leave it alone since it was obvious who Lork would target if the man died. Above all, he didn’t want this man to be harmed.c0134d8d80e84169

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Yuan raised the crystal orb as high as he could above his head and slammed it down on the boy’s head. He tried to ignore the reluctance of whether this was really okay.9049d8d361631a12

“…Ah.”7e565044483f1b15

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With a thud, the boy with the caved-in head collapsed. The boy, who buried his head in the ground, didn’t move anymore. The blood-stained crystal orb finally fell to the ground as if it had fulfilled its role. Yuan, suddenly frightened by the thought of the orb breaking, hurriedly grabbed it.ad79a6454917e437

Fortunately, the crystal orb cdf7241e87 was intact without even 28c627cde8 a crack. Hugging the 4bfff8bddd orb, Yuan 16de20b7a5 thought he 0be9fe65ca should apologize 83a1035b69 to Lork 8dae3183de when he c3b7c114a1 returned to 57bb7ed6d2 the sanctuary. He thought that 7bf8302762 killing him was 7e2a6dc2f1 unnecessary, no matter 3cc8676efb what.76b32d65eac48d8e

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“Apologizing is one thing, but I don’t plan to do as Lork wishes…”a061d63dbbf4ea93

Yuan would continue to 8b506c0f6c gather materials for the d83c4fd2d5 Crimson Disease. To survive 029afeb6a9 when he ccb6edd45c eventually returned 293e81122f to his 98b3bec960 original world. However, despite having 9a1f587b47 a goal, various 97d8e11e0c questions still lingered 60ba35cdb5 in his mind.adc7814759a719c8

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‘Why is Lork openly obstructing us? It seems like there’s a personal reason beyond just worrying about his safety or the game’s progress.’badd39843bd304c9

Could it be that Lork also has a significant reason to block the two of them? Not just to maintain the order of this world, but perhaps he is also one of the reasons this boy came to this world. Is it too much of a leap to speculate that way…?ea7359da21243703

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The more b5134e6e14 new facts 9976fb21f2 I learn, 9d7c8f5769 the more 3b89e90904 confused I cab385f579 become. As my 8d6cb0df88 purpose becomes 2533f4ba11 clearer, my 3a519c1d64 hesitation grows 22352dfed2 heavier. And above all, amidst 0f0dc58584 all this chaos, a 39fdd3242a new question arises in e900d7a24c my mind.b579f082c7401155

‘Besides, why did I step into this world?’a2ada3a60af69613

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The memory I encountered earlier left a significant question in Yuan’s mind. Before stepping into this world, the original Yuan had little intention of curing the Crimson Disease. He even held a faint pride in the fact that he could help his lover with that power. The fact that he would eventually die from a disease akin to a curse was undoubtedly not a big deal to his past self.5c2e7bfa24b7138b

Of course, the cure for the Crimson Disease would be helpful to Yuan, but it wasn’t a reason important enough for his past self to abandon his lover and step into this endlessly repeating world. That was merely the Red Man’s purpose for coming to this world, not his own. This realization was vividly etched in Yuan’s mind.71b36c33b2f9fb91

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‘Why did I come to this world, leaving behind a lover who cherished me? What am I trying to find?’61f1dc032a800a50

What exactly should 6f852eb7cb I be searching c6bd486335 for in this a614c15e5f world? In which direction 34437bce5b should I proceed? As I pondered 732a5f2c9b this newly arisen 103825fee8 question, I took eec8ac9d24 a deep breath.f63665cb17b28105

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“…Yuan.”7d957d706ed5b8a5

“Huh?”edbcaea3bc955693

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The Red Man was staring at me with his eyes open. It felt incredibly strange for him to call me by my name instead of nicknames like ‘kid’ or ‘White One.’0c63ac4e1a11eafb

Moreover, that wasn’t the only strange thing. His eyes were still somewhat unfocused. It seemed like he was looking at me, but it was as if he was overlaying the image of someone else on top of me.7ced9d865e6331d3

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“Uh, are you okay? We got the crystal ball for now…”f27482b0cb5e047a

“Yuan, Yuan.”fbabe4124153a5a6

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Something’s not right. I felt a chill run down my spine with that ominous intuition. Just as I instinctively tried to step back, his eyes flashed, and his rough hand grabbed my shoulder. The pressure was so intense that it wouldn’t be surprising if my shoulder shattered.5fd57b5f0c135218

“Wh-why are you doing this!”3e61911a7e6e36eb

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“Why are you trying to run away? Why are you doing this?”2cda3522b9ab1034

I wasn’t trying to run away. And even if I was, I don’t know what’s wrong with that. Who is he to blame when he’s the one staring at people with strange eyes? But I instinctively realized that no matter how much I tried to persuade him now, it wouldn’t work.2222281d7274b200

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“I’m not running away! Is there a problem? Are you okay?”eb2f0bc07e0acf19

“Is it because I ran away? Are you angry because I disappeared? So now you’re trying to run away too, huh?”5afa2701f8956b6c

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Is it because b050afc68b of the crystal 42d0bc5630 ball? Is he still lost 3a310081a4 in the past shown d8dd26ae9a by the crystal ball? Yuan thought 872e7289b5 so as 2e37a9d1e1 he hesitantly e50be22cec stepped back, f19d75efc0 but suddenly 13e9e6215f a completely 3d7632b495 different possibility f0a534a7d1 crossed his dfa000980e mind.4d7c68799a8ca815

He looked around. The red aura that had filled the surroundings earlier had long since disappeared. It must have naturally withdrawn the power of calamity when he was entranced by the crystal ball. But now, Yuan’s body and mind were fine, and the scar on his cheek was intact without any heat.3aa69f2e80bd6803

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He looked down at the crystal ball. According to the illusion shown by the crystal ball earlier, having this prevents absorbing the aftereffects of others. It seems to play a role in blocking the Crimson Disease. If that’s the case…cf108c764c264fbc

“Is this the aftereffect you’re experiencing right now?”b54dce2e11250405

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Yuan is currently unable to absorb the Red Man’s aftereffects. That’s why this person is recklessly scattering his desires.ec994f4a0072f16e

“Aftereffects? S-sorry.”6c91f894c57f8055

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“Sorry? Why are you suddenly acting like this?”05cff9bb5220bc3d

“I’m sorry for relying on you again. I didn’t want this either. I never wished for something like this…”c21344a5079d08e4

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Shouldn’t he let go if he’s really sorry? Does this person have a habit of apologizing to others when he’s overwhelmed by aftereffects? At least Yuan could recognize the person in front of him, but it’s clear that this person doesn’t even know who is standing before him.254fd52964547c48

“What, what are you trying to do? What are you wishing for?”79be5c2a77fa2340

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“It’s okay. This time, it won’t hurt. Okay? It’s alright.”45e27c7f4f885fb4

What won’t hurt… As Yuan hesitated, not understanding the meaning, the man’s hand that had released his shoulder suddenly grabbed the back of Yuan’s head and pulled him closer. Yuan, taken aback, struggled belatedly, but there was no way to escape.ff563b89ba3cca00

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“D-don’t! Let go of this…!”1b13fd267acb6f16

Before he 39a2852c72 could finish c7094ee83e speaking, his 1e94d9d65b mouth was e74dd3da5e covered. The whisper 1b75b3a904 that pretended ea773826ab to be 51e3fd9977 gentle felt d5a6c14195 deceitful, as 8dbda99c76 the kiss af0860b988 was rough. As his body 95b655645b was pushed to 26bea0e7e3 the ground, the 2aed573b89 back of his 7bf0f8d0ef head hit the d46f94f650 hard floor, but 2407928a73 Yuan was too 4ba7d78dd5 dazed to care.07a18c91afefe317

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The previous kiss was just a joke. It was either not sincere or he held back to avoid scaring a child. Yuan’s tongue felt like it was being bitten and chewed, and his mouth felt like it was being torn apart. The saliva running down his chin felt like blood.7e563f7511a3de44

He felt like he would suffocate from the lack of air. The weight of the man pressing down on him contributed to that feeling. The upper body pressed so close that he could feel the heartbeat, and even the heavy excitement from the lower body was a weight Yuan couldn’t bear.84fa86a06a826519

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‘You said you were impotent… No, that’s not the issue right now. You said you wouldn’t do it here!’8b3f6b0226431f9c

Even though the water 9a0fd88ae6 had drained, the floor e7918d7210 was still slippery, and 9e14cbae0c the stench was overwhelming 5924a5bf8c from all sides. In such an c5cef647b8 environment, where even 83eb79adc8 the corpse of c0cbfa51c6 a boy with 131b789ff7 a shattered head ead0a13892 lay nearby, who 4d9a6e9c05 would want to 3dfe0be0ed do such a 1aa7cc57aa thing?3fb318fced3f0903

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Moreover, there’s no reason to do such a thing with this man right now. Even if they mixed bodies here to relieve his aftereffects, what benefit would it bring? They wouldn’t be able to go further, and they’d end up losing their lives!d7fc05fa3cbde2bd

‘No, beyond such issues. This person right now…’99b8df74ffdc9eaa

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Moreover, this person isn’t even in his right mind. If he were aware of who he was mixing bodies with, it might have been slightly better. If he recognized Yuan’s existence and was in a state where he couldn’t control his rising desires, of course, Yuan still wouldn’t want to mix bodies, but he wouldn’t feel such immense repulsion as he did now.227244b957c89219

But this person right now…06abf7e82d17b84c

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“Ugh, huff…”738a9629f9149a86

Yuan looked into the man’s eyes as if entranced. It was a gaze he had never seen before. Those eyes, which seemed on the verge of tears, were filled with intense and bewildering emotions. While an inexplicable sense of guilt and remorse was most apparent, beyond that guilt lay an even larger and overwhelming emotion.124b35cfdf0d4349

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‘It’s someone he loves.’256428fcf52188d3

This person is seeing not Yuan, but someone he loves. Someone so precious and dear that just looking at them makes his heart race, someone he can’t forget no matter how long he hasn’t seen them. Not a hollow sanctuary reached upon death, but the one true sanctuary in the world where he can entrust his heart.c2531031d2d9e3f1

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Thus, Yuan realized.9d67f26279ffa8ae

This would be 85d658c50b a terrible thing b56134a664 not only for 4ca50abc66 himself but also e731168104 for that man.ce9de0b58d5d1b13

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⌖♕⌖♕⌖cbd8df6e03c6b8bd

The relentless torment that seemed to devour a person continued persistently for a while. The heat from the contact and the pain of being bitten inside the mouth felt like it was turning his brain to mush. It was hard to distinguish whether the salty taste filling his mouth was the taste of blood or the taste of tears flowing down the man’s cheek.cf1e4bbac5bec50b

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This time, there was no room to breathe, and Yuan thought it wouldn’t be strange if he suffocated right then and there. If he died, would this man try to violate his corpse? It wouldn’t make a difference since it’s just a hollow body projecting the image in his head anyway.1546fb1669c8b915