SSEI | Chapter 4.10

The moment c76f8843bd Yuan barely 9700598de7 opened his 7460184f46 eyes in 381e2d9bcd his private 436531840d room, he f234ddfaad felt the a572d612fb weighty presence 7dbf7c8bd2 of a 2afab6513e crystal orb 646bca3a56 in his dfc28f08d0 arms.bca6350563db6c8c

‘Ah, I really brought it back.’f1c4fb4562f90d9f

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When he saw b330cc2126 it at the 99febd8947 sewage treatment plant, 5c5d3325d4 he thought it 4d1dd7b34b was a milky 99f9535b8b white color, but 2169178df0 under the bright 7f2090c956 light, the crystal 53b9562e24 orb appeared to b0cfbbce3a have a light f338686119 emerald hue, as 5a989b8c30 if it contained a48016981d seawater. It was 5e5923a3d1 hard to c2557bc206 tell if 38a25af642 this was e8bb77d1c1 its original 1d2cfdeca3 color or 8e3fc1b5ea if it a136f48eb0 had absorbed d781d055b6 the Core 9b3cc67929 of Calamity b42830a583 from the cc119532b3 green disaster.e5988c832e883737

How much trouble did he go through just to get this one crystal orb? Yuan sighed, feeling utterly drained. He knew for sure that it had the ability to suppress the Crimson Disease, but he didn’t expect it to be this effective. He almost got into trouble because he couldn’t use it when he really needed it.ab7e9fe976dfa697

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Still, what’s important is that he gathered the ingredients for the cure. Now, to the doctor with this… Yuan was sorting through his thoughts in his drowsy mind when suddenly there was a loud banging on the door from outside.42bbfd638477e6b1

“Open up, kid!”489fac4a67e104fa

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It was the voice of the Red Man. It seemed he had completely shaken off the aftereffects, as he returned to calling him “kid” instead of using his name, which was a bit embarrassing. Yuan felt his mind clear up as he got up.9e3484f38706c02a

“Yes? Come, come in!”27bf36db38c60ae3

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Before Yuan could even finish his sentence, the door swung open with force. A man, for some reason drenched with water on his face and hair, staggered inside. Did he wash his face to wake up? But still, what’s with that? He should have at least wiped his face with a towel!e7bb9ca59ae61f00

But is that person okay? The last time I saw him, he looked so lonely and sorrowful, I’m worried he might not have completely shaken off the aftereffects even now…cb62fd70c342bf4d

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However, the man, without any regard for Yuan’s concerns, immediately said what he wanted to say.275af68a2eaa9a22

“Where’s the crystal orb? Did you retrieve it safely?”bf6c38d96bf5d6b1

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“Is that the first thing you ask? Well, I did retrieve it…”360b9d8e73fb5aa3

“Then that’s the most important issue. What did you expect me to ask first?”1da86bed6dd63a2b

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When Yuan showed him the crystal orb, the man finally relaxed and sat down in a chair. Yuan felt a surge of anger at the sight. Sure, the crystal orb is important, but isn’t there something you should say first? If you had any decency, you should have said that before anything else…!296274af75d0825d

“What about an apology?”0190d9390c773c5b

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Yuan spoke in a sharp and blunt voice. Surely he hasn’t forgotten, right? If it’s a convenient aftereffect where he only remembers what’s good for him, I was ready to give him a good smack to bring him to his senses, but fortunately or unfortunately, the man looked a bit sheepish.708185083b1c7a82

Or maybe it’s not fortunate. That means he remembers everything but is just pretending otherwise.b6e5862928b7211b

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“Aren’t you going to apologize? You have something to apologize to me for.”c1d9eeb95cd1f046

“Ah.”51eb3e3cf563bc1a

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“Not ‘ah,’ apologize.”bdf3d20308aec2df

“…If it’s about earlier, I’m sorry.”7f51695c3f307536

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The man hesitated, mumbling his words, and lowered his head. It was as if he didn’t even want to recall what had happened earlier, and naturally, it wasn’t an apology that satisfied Yuan.206b705c9feb8e9e

“Explain exactly what you did wrong and how sorry you are.”933345a562fbf41c

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“In the last round, I, uh, didn’t properly explain the role of the crystal orb to you.”f26e12717a09ae4c

“What are you talking about? That’s not the issue here.”55a89a23f25f6c8e

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He even gave a 96967c74b8 completely unrelated apology. Is this guy just ea62baf34a unwilling to admit what e92426c222 he did wrong? What kind of 793056e754 petty personality is 40026c09f7 this?7e3936665e282d5c

As Yuan f3eb05bd3d glared at cf097dc05e the man b50aaa524a in disbelief, 9ec3b256ee the man 5f02e016c7 finally confessed, ea8141b845 albeit reluctantly.e7be737b5724dda5

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“…I’m sorry. For assaulting you like that.”fb4f3f8ed4cd9f9f

“It’s a bit better, but still not good enough. Do you know exactly what ‘like that’ means?”10862174732dc9c7

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“Are you talking about the issue of mistaking you for someone precious to me? That was, well… as you might have guessed, due to my aftereffects. I tend to mistake others for someone like my lover and try to assault them. Of course, in most cases, I realize midway that they’re not the real person and stop, but somehow this time, the situation was a bit different.”83c2ddb83a9972ff

The man hesitated for a moment after saying that. Yuan was incredulous, thinking he might be looking for excuses even at this point, but somehow the man’s expression didn’t look good. As if he had realized something embarrassing.ca1b81cac128a7dc

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“So, how was the situation different?”2c50f8738faa9110

“No, it’s nothing. It might just be my imagination.”847fc0802fa41b12

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“Imagination…?”26c53428ed242d8e

“Anyway, this time it was my fault. I’m sorry for putting you through such humiliation. Even though I stopped midway, the shock you received won’t just disappear. Even if you agreed to mix bodies in an emergency, you never agreed to be treated as a substitute.”e443ec1f1e9895c0

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Yuan nodded, feeling that there was some sincerity in the apology. Of course, Yuan was still scared of the man, flinching at the thought of him coming close or touching him, but that’s not something that can be resolved just because the man apologizes desperately.6f1c09d1333b00eb

‘There’s no point in persistently nagging about something that wasn’t even his intention.’d7c665790903a584

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However, Yuan had a slight curiosity. Did this person not stop midway because he hated seeing his lover cry? And also…6dabca37eeb975c7

“Well, the shock is one thing… Can I ask you just one question?”80624f530a9cdbc3

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“What is it?”46e3ed401700dd52

“What did you do so wrong to your lover that you kept apologizing like a habit? It’s really bothering me.”966567be4178c248

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“Is it an important issue?”865e1a74c4e7ed64

“It’s not important, but it’s a matter of sincerity. Like I said last time.”07b28634e8b4e399

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Yuan completely ignored the man’s gaze, which seemed to protest that it was too personal a question. For Yuan, this wasn’t just simple curiosity.b98549f16fa14978

To be less afraid of this man, whose intentions were impossible to read, Yuan needed to know what kind of person he was. With that resolve, Yuan met the man’s gaze.3aa73a97eba71dc2

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⌖♕⌖♕⌖3c1f8090ca76af8e

“To start with the important stuff, I don’t know exactly. When I was suffering from the aftereffects, I was just overwhelmed with emotions without any memories to back them up. I don’t know about you, though.”a52ce7047af5bca9

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Yuan thought it was a half-hearted answer, but he didn’t push further. He vaguely sensed that the man was being serious in his own way. The man had a sunken expression, as if he was chewing over some distant past he couldn’t reach.132d5b13d401e7bb

“Still, you must have some idea. Anything?”0557da6637ef704a

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“Well, if I have to come up with a plausible answer… I thought I could do anything for the person I loved, but I guess I didn’t really know what that person wanted.”39805a4e498eb7df

“Ah, I think I get what you mean. You were intoxicated with the idea of loving your partner passionately, right?”120bde2d28a1fc53

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“…I always think this, but can’t you do something about that mouth of yours? I want to be nice to you, but you always make me want to punch you.”bb68aaf8948afaba

“I’m not sure when you’ve ever been nice to me… But isn’t that basically what you’re saying? Or maybe your feelings for each other just got crossed.”26838fbb91840b96

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The man clenched his fist, trembling as if he really wanted to hit him, then sighed. In truth, Yuan wasn’t entirely serious either. He was being a bit mean on purpose to get back at him for being touched and sucked all over.f79d64b3ef6bf3a0

Yuan thought it was more about a misunderstanding than self-absorption. No matter how much you love someone, it’s not easy to completely understand each other.1b1feaf2f698c760

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“The term ‘crossed‘ seems appropriate. I had my own standards for measuring happiness, and that person had theirs. I was aware that they didn’t align.”d4d7a98f233fc376

“If that’s the case, I understand. It seems like something common between lovers.”545a4b2f1114939a

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“Yeah. But… come to think of it, your words weren’t entirely wrong. I was obsessed with loving that person according to my standards. From their perspective, it might have seemed like I was in love with my own standards.”1630b5c2cb75edb6

“I thought so. Earlier, you didn’t even listen to what I was saying and just kept talking about what you wanted.”e5cba7b971edd7ad

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Saying“it’s okay, it’s okay” while tearing clothes and pinning someone down wasn’t something you do just once or twice. He probably half-listened to what his partner was saying and just excitedly talked about what he wanted.dc2e9a91362f73de

“I probably wanted to apologize for that. I think I regretted not being able to see that person fully because I was so caught up in my own thoughts. I don’t remember the specifics, so it’s just a vague story.”f804847e6c8726b0

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“Still, I think I get the situation.”30f4e333307e31f1

“Then that’s good. Anyway, are you satisfied, kid? Is your curiosity satisfied enough?”997573d173e4575b

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“I am satisfied, but do you have to say it like that? It sounds like I was asking to satisfy some vulgar curiosity about someone else’s private life.”c124513ba29cad82

“Weren’t you?”5bfec1f5d1e33056

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“It was a very important issue by my standards! To understand you, and to decide how to deal with you! Since you regret it, can’t you practice paying a little more attention to other people’s standards?”ddef09a0a612045e

“Why, when you’re not even my lover? And do you think people change that easily?”633d75f07ae873f2

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“Because they don’t change easily, you need to practice. What if, after you finally find a cure for the Crimson Disease, your lover says they still don’t like someone like you, takes the medicine, and just dumps you?”5e771a7e86100c15

“Do you think my lover is as childish and immature as you…?”49d96d5d0af26095

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“You don’t know what kind of person they are.”ffeb291e0149a193

“I don’t know, indeed.”6df919516a99c5ba

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The man looked at a24276aefb Yuan with a peculiar b5968b4fbd expressionless face and then 30cdba4caf sighed. Was it just e7cbb6baec a misunderstanding that bd70940b00 he seemed filled 903be17c9f with worry and 7d2b616add concern, wondering what 45c2a7ce6c if the lover 2d25b63eb4 he finally met ff3db492e6 turned out to db1a31f43a be a fool 87dcba1adc like this? But before Yuan 7d1a59b326 could get angry, 05ed218232 the man relaxed 7be9b4fa09 his expression slightly.a681386656227da1

“Alright, I’ll try to practice as much as possible.”cdd9212f9f3dc8a3

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“That’s a good mindset. Then please be a bit kinder to me from now on.”160d797900d9030e

“I have no idea how much kinder I need to be here… Does that mean you want me to understand your standards?”4a85808dc10f9c99

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“Exactly. Don’t just kill or bully people according to your standards. If you have to, explain the situation, and if you kill, bully, or torment someone by mistake, apologize right away. Do you get what I’m saying?”a808d95f9362cc3b

“You’re asking for something quite difficult. I have my own reasons too. Your standards aren’t necessarily the only right ones.”ee2fbcbff24619ec

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It’s not entirely wrong, but hearing it from him is incredibly annoying. However, it was a bit amusing how the man seemed to be subtly checking Yuan’s expression after saying that. Even though he spoke like that, he seemed to be trying to gauge Yuan’s reaction.e4ab295580e433aa

“…But I’ll apologize right away if it’s a mistake. You’re right about that.”594d2bd50b00d146

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