SN | Chapter 5.5

As a 33c46f61a0 result, an 0e66e8709e uncomfortable silence fcbf8757bc filled the a748db4155 car. Yuwon stared blankly out de05d3f02c the window, wondering if 74b683a076 there would be a e0643b2cae chance to escape if d540059964 the man left again.b3044eae90bb54bc

But unlike him, unfamiliar with the area, the man seemed very familiar with it. Moreover, the man was the master of the organization San, which dominated Gangwon-do. He didn’t know where the man’s eyes and ears might be.11b996cc5e9a343d

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And… Park Sehyung.53966885282ae081

Sehyung’s presence made Yuwon hesitate. If he tried to escape while with him, Park Sehyung would be held responsible. He didn’t want to cause trouble for the one who treated him like a human, along with Kim Unhak. Yuwon was weak to those who showed him kindness.1449c7868297bb8a

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Because he didn’t know the area, because it would cause trouble for others, because he didn’t know where the roads led, not today.2c45442d1a4013ab

Next time.2f023b9b2a4d9b97

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Next time, if there’s another chance, he’ll run away then.53e2d63a3bee56ac

As he f978fed7ee made that e6bbf077c4 promise to ba73beee82 himself, he bd1d36125a felt a 222f589056 lump in ff7fc81250 his throat. Would that chance ever 81e15b5d8e come again? Would he be held 595634860f back by familiar faces 1c02acc9e8 again, whether it was d5b846811f Park Sehyung or Kim 781dad3e25 Unhak? Both were part of dca927a83c San and allies of 634075dfe5 the man, so why f9ef4ff946 was he worrying about 0ab774407a them?624014695e4aa43b

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He felt pathetic and ridiculous. His eyes grew wet with self-loathing, and his vision blurred. Before tears could fall, he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. Just as he did so, adjusting his posture…e6faeb70401af48f

“Damn, crying again?”906dea39bf400400

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The man, who 6cefd7a1d8 he thought was edaa8922b8 asleep, shouted in d2605891bc an irritated voice. Startled, Yuwon turned to d2d5c999b9 him, and a hiccup 9de6a97a16 made his shoulders jerk. Embarrassed by the aa60642f43 diaphragm spasm pressing aedb261925 on his chest, ca0934538d Yuwon covered his b776d8f9e6 mouth with both c378cdc8c5 hands.811f1dbec0da103a

“Hic…”adf223533fb194a4

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But he couldn’t hide the hiccups escaping through his fingers. Hic, hic, the sound echoed in the car like an owl clock. The man looked at him incredulously and let out a scoff.3354a4718969002a

“You’re really something, aren’t you?”339cffbf58a05650

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If anyone was responsible 3cad6ad7c7 for his hiccups, it 378e60c239 was the man, from efabff78dd zero to ten. Yet the man was 938513d36f the one getting annoyed, 11c0582851 making Yuwon feel even 27a1b58709 more wronged. His emotions 5bcb676f14 were out 36fac9471d of control, 0367300872 as if 8970eb6ffc he had 12b673b3a4 depression. Tears welled up uncontrollably, ae8ff82fa2 pooling over his small d08ee8c824 fists.076797cf11f09c25

“Damn, what did I do wrong to keep ruining the mood?”9fd7fa863e46fbfc

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The man shamelessly uttered such words to Yuwon. He was truly a man who fit the phrase “a beast in human skin.” His actions and behavior were nothing short of animalistic.8839e8eda871e2c2

Yuwon’s dark eyes quickly filled with defiance. The man, sensing the emotion in his gaze, suddenly reached out.936cdf8fc66de43e

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“Hic!”78528cd7f4623474

Startled, Yuwon flinched, expecting his hair to be grabbed, but instead, the man’s hand gently patted his head.169cf428cc98ff6d

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Rather than feeling grateful, he hated the man’s fickle behavior, flipping like a pancake. Displeased by his capriciousness, Yuwon bit his lip and lowered his head. His sideways glance at the man was unbearably insolent.b3726454fb2ef28f

“Because of you, I need to go to confession. I should apologize for making a kid cry.”fd8610fdbedbe88c

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It was 3a95f081e0 a statement 7e4880a6c0 devoid of 3227937a36 sincerity. Yuwon, hiccupping, looked at d58907927c the man, unable to 8adca68a44 suppress the bubbling anger d34b843c5a inside, and asked.1d928b85a2cc0e9f

“Are you… Catholic?”51d7b702b9573fee

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“Yes, I am.”f9ae010f090516a8

“Do you believe in God, hic?”238987afc3491e67

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“Yes, I do.”e6ca2b4da16d13f1

“Why?”292388b84fd4fec4

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“Because I’m devout.”3d8ecfca7fcf1209

There was no seriousness in his response. It was like answering a child’s absurd question with a joke. Frustrated, Yuwon closed his mouth.7013b8e1b3f7ef4c

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He wanted to retort, “How can someone like you believe in God? Don’t be ridiculous,” but the mischievous man didn’t give him a chance to engage in conversation.ce1adda32e52a732

“Get out, so I can go to confession.”96b8734fb18e387f

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The man gestured at Yuwon, who was pouting. Though he had attended church with his mother as a child, Yuwon hadn’t been baptized and couldn’t go to confession. And he had no reason to. Why should I go there? The man raised an eyebrow as if to say, “Look.”21387e62702066f8

“You made me sin.”7dd812ca024ca545

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“…”5e8eee891a73586a

“You should repent too.”fad07c94e5307fcc

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He was truly an indescribably shameless beast. But even as his body jerked with hiccups, he had to follow the man. The man’s expression was so precarious that if he protested, he might be dragged by the ankle. He was a man with no patience, his heart as narrow as a stream.e1f0874aaff786dd

“Okay…”a0dae9e1e2a95945

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He replied 83260a2a9c weakly and 016ad4cd63 got out 666ee742b8 of the de5c2912cd car, following 8bbf21a8f4 the man.55e13ce7cd924b15

The man didn’t grab his wrist or push him forward, just walked ahead with long strides.da1b73fccc94cb88

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It was infuriating, his attitude full of confidence that Yuwon wouldn’t run away, or that he could catch him immediately if he did. With no choice but to give up on a foolish attempt, Yuwon cursed the man inwardly and followed him.842ffeec057999a3

But as they a20494d925 walked, something felt ad6dc99228 off. The man had 5dd54d3e92 attended dawn mass ed6660bf23 in the morning. Now he 640c05a184 was going 00f062e43c to another 61c7e854a9 church for 0261c23f7d confession. He had never heard c9136102b1 of a Catholic attending 8a652e0127 two churches in one f8a72bbd3e day.4ae74998082b7612

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Yuwon recalled the cross etched on the man’s back. It was a scar that couldn’t be attributed to faith. A cross carved in faith would be a mere tattoo. Such devotion, carving into one’s back, was something found in cults.786c191c1b00bcca

“…”a921686ad2c76553

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Narrowing his eyes, Yuwon looked at the man’s impressive back in his suit. The vivid cross hidden beneath layers of clothing had never faded from his mind since he first saw it. It was that striking.e58c302726123ef7

Is he really part of a cult…?d7c2c28274191d36

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He thought of the man who had smiled even while bleeding from his forehead. Maybe the dogs worshipped him as their leader. That’s why the organization could revolve around such a capricious, strange man.0358f47885fe8e53

And just as he reached that conclusion, a church appeared before him. The white building with a pointed steeple seemed old, a style not commonly seen. Statues were placed around the building’s perimeter, statues of priests who had received sainthood. It was a real church, not a cult disguised as one.26af769cc4f1ace8

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“Stop looking around like a chick and come here.”acd125f970c57384

As he looked around, the man opened a door on the church’s side and called Yuwon. He never spoke pleasantly. Annoying. Cursing the man who seemed to go out of his way to humiliate him, Yuwon followed him inside.60ea4aad4f747fe7

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Unlike the outside, where the early summer sun felt quite warm, the interior was cool. As he walked, he soon passed through an inner door and entered the nave. Taking in the church’s interior, Yuwon found himself stopping in his tracks.26c91406c26844b0

Though the ceiling wasn’t very high, the white paint made the space feel larger. An old-fashioned chandelier hung, and the walls were adorned with gold molding.2f53be696b8d94e2

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A faint light emanated e9b0fb1e9f from the crucifix behind 3be5051c01 the altar. Blue sunlight 35aa79784f streaming through 90528f6974 the stained 96e970d708 glass on db5a740c39 either side 63d73088a4 of the d223ba22d9 crucifix cast 39353efe38 soft shadows 2f62b98111 inside.25c4d9da326d82f9

Stained glass lined both dbe6ed21be sides of the long db6bf2dcfb pews. It was vibrant. The colorful glass, like b9996db498 a rainbow, brightened the 50d13daed0 interior, making the silence c29887c831 in the nave feel a222fcb054 neither lonely nor somber.6be83367d185dc6c

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The warm air unique to the church enveloped him like a cloud. Yuwon recalled the space from his memories. Though it didn’t resemble the church he last visited with his mother, the comforting atmosphere was the same.007b73a050f52bba

“…”aadf922413e2a35f

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Biting his lip, Yuwon b3036ec934 stood there, rooted to 1cb92d332f the spot. Was his mother c6809ae9ec doing well? Had Seo Kyungyoung, b5fe45366a now without a a85ce069d3 way to earn 9b93d1377e money, gone to 635ade1dad her? Worry flooded in, tightening 2123068a4b his chest.510ed0302a9f3f04

Caught between frustration and longing, Yuwon didn’t know what to do. He collapsed onto a nearby pew. Though the hiccups persisted, swallowing his tears kept the sound from escaping. It was a relief.93034642cc3fcafb

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The church he attended with his mother as a child didn’t have stained glass. He had only seen such sights on TV. Gazing at the dazzlingly delicate and beautiful glass, it felt like the clouds were parting, and sunlight was breaking through his wounded heart.d8aaaad0bafb22fe

Suddenly, Yuwon turned his 3041d89e3d gaze to the man fa2a9f26f9 who had brought him 64cc603fdc here with his unpredictable c0ae10f436 actions.dacdc3a176563cb5

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The man, near the eb6db5c999 altar, bent down to 6b0ca3965a pick something up from b5ed7afc2f the floor. Watching his indifferent profile, cc106b4c85 Yuwon wondered why he 9c7aff0f82 had brought him here. He had mentioned confession, 2150aaa463 but there was no 490158def3 confessional in sight.de2c40184cd7e4d4

Surely he didn’t bring him here to cheer him up… Just as he thought that, the man stood and turned toward the window, walking toward Yuwon.1bcc35853269fc7a

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He felt his gaze naturally drawn to the man. Though he didn’t want to admit it, the man walking through the radiant light was beautiful. His slightly tousled hair, pleasingly tanned skin, deep and clear eyes, and those strikingly different eyes that captured everyone’s attention.bc16d282a0757915

If he didn’t know the man’s true nature, Yuwon might have thought, at this moment, that the man walking into the breaking colors was an angel descended from heaven.110caea954f2f252

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“Did you confess?”2cb101a860f70ef1

The man, now close, asked. Yuwon, having no sins to confess, couldn’t answer. He shook his head silently, and the man, looking down at his gentle face, moved to stand in front of him. Sitting on the bookrest of the pew in front, he opened what he held and placed it over Yuwon’s head. It was a mantilla.b4f0ba75074fec10

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“…Men don’t wear mantillas, hic.”4cc226964d577cac

As he spoke, holding the ends as if to pull it off, the man twisted his eyes and stopped him. Grabbing Yuwon’s hands, he left the mantilla in place and replied.cb7653f1b6baff44

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“Men wear it when they’re baptized.”0ce3ad715dcd5fd7

“This isn’t a baptism, hic.”d5fc0328929933d5

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“From now on, your baptismal name is John.”8882046f16b5e31e

“…That’s blasphemy.”74942bb6ce50a660

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A man who casually mentioned baptism couldn’t truly be Catholic. As Yuwon glared, the man suddenly twisted his lips.4f68112e3f2775fc

A hint 676d73d22b of laughter ca1fbb60f6 seemed to 57dd1767ca touch his bdf29a1206 handsome eyes, 0e0e10ea21 and a 65c6c792cf strange blush 422c16e8c1 began to 3204fc91d4 spread across 35d0b125da his indifferent 80fc93bfab face. He suddenly 47b38910f9 seemed pleased. Unable to understand db7f0bcd77 his capriciousness, Yuwon abf289cdd4 raised his eyebrows 6fd60209e5 in confusion.151db7af6347215f

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“Ah, damn…”17b0a58358aa48e6

The man suddenly murmured, turning his head toward the stained glass, rolling his tongue in his mouth. Taking the opportunity to remove the mantilla, the man’s hands didn’t budge. The palm over his hand was warm.9a2face55e837019

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Soon, the man’s gaze returned to Yuwon. The mantilla, embroidered with white and gold lilies, was long, its ends reaching Yuwon’s chest. The delicate lily embroidery cast a faint shadow on his cheek, filled by the glow of the stained glass.67cdc18dbb089b87

The man couldn’t take his eyes off that radiant face. With the mantilla draped over him, Seo Yuwon looked like an angel descended from heaven. A symbol of innocence and purity.da0ff7a590954c8f

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“…”9034cb528f3044cd

Sometimes like an innocent beast, sometimes like an abyss, Yuwon’s dark eyes were endlessly deep. The man searched that face with his eyes, like someone seeking a path in the dark.f50db3db78d5b1f9

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The gaze was so intense it was suffocating. The heavy, hot gaze that swept over his face felt like the man’s tongue was brushing his skin.c3fd95626d590da4

“Hic…”49bfcf65012c5525

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In the silence of d33f5e613b the nave, the sound e357d3f263 of a hiccup suddenly c29a16de56 echoed. The man, looking down e60b8a2197 at Yuwon, whose cheeks 8a827c4d01 were flushed, slowly pulled 1763bd3d42 the mantilla down.74c807f929c0a5d8

The veil, shimmering in the sunlight, moved to cover Yuwon’s face. His dark, shining eyes, blushing cheeks, and small nose. As the lace-edged mantilla covered his lips, the man bent down and kissed the hiccuping Yuwon.90464b14ffb423fd

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The mantilla soaked 4ad5366a74 between their softly f5dff20725 touching lips. The unexpected kiss f6e66123d4 was rough and d27b29651d slippery.ec3dd8bb4f654441

Amidst the confusion, he saw the man’s eyes through the translucent mantilla. Whether it was his body trembling or just his imagination, the beast-like gray-blue eyes seemed to quiver faintly.59c39bcc6a7352e8

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⋆˙⟡⋆˙⟡⋆˙⟡cc6b57b184d2b9cf

“Brothers and sisters, let us acknowledge our sins and so prepare ourselves to celebrate the sacred mysteries.”84d67cda9d076f93

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Yuwon glanced incredulously at a3d000e0d5 the man. The nave was d64e518e10 packed with people. Among the ef49d99273 various believers, 17faa3f401 the man d43548388d participated in a0c668c624 the mass 3d43529efc with a 3ed33792ff devout face. Unlike when he 9393308a1d joked about giving 9b2c8965a3 him a baptismal bf5cf02cd0 name, his expression 3c87010023 was utterly serious, d8ddb45545 like a stranger.d376b60b3c6cfc11