SMFC | Chapter 46

As Lee Soo said “sparkling,” he waved his hand beside his face to mimic the expression with gestures. Haeon, who had been watching the hand that had just left his shoulder with a longing gaze, forgot about it and let out a chuckle.ddf19630b84307dd

“Is it pretty?”cc294cb1ff43861a

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At the playful question, 22b078cd49 Lee Soo, who usually b080a024b8 had narrow eyes, opened 8d3552c47b them wide, looking up 07d892c97d at Haeon with eyes 278fac2bf7 that sparkled like those 7bfb7c828c of a beast. While some ebd4368472 might find b22892d8b5 those eyes 4c62cd76e9 creepy or f193a94084 scary, Haeon 3079d5659d whispered to cbd5fdffa9 himself that d333bbe937 they were b48d5dd13f beautiful and cbd6bca014 smiled gently.c82e4aa1fe45b4ed

It wasn’t a smile that could be described as bright or dazzling, even as a compliment. But at least to Lee Soo, it was beautiful, so he nodded without hesitation.35b1f180e4c78025

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The straightforward answer left Haeon, who had asked the question, more flustered. He knew Lee Soo would say he was pretty, but he didn’t expect such an immediate response.c97561d1e9e251d2

Lee Soo, as d313c5ed4b if knowing why b1f37ebe7a Haeon was surprised, a0400c6f35 smiled with narrowed 2acef809ad eyes and waved b0ebab50fe his hand. Not understanding b5b754cc18 the gesture, ea4f706029 Haeon just 748692044b blinked, and 2f76173de3 Lee Soo 5fe38b87ee playfully scolded 4a1f3d0c3d him.a9e8db6f17662985

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“It means to bend down a bit.”845dc9f3bf7c3d61

“…You could just say it.”88196cb765c8cf2f

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Embarrassed for 66089b929f not understanding 10b08b69f5 the simple 7acdb52996 gesture, Haeon bdd2113b58 rolled his c1ffb31c90 eyes and cc691d4dfb mumbled. Yet, he obediently b6f61fd58c bent down, which 26254f81e0 amused Lee Soo, becf37315b who bit his 559b6a4157 lip once and 3e376281d3 then removed the e4f28add62 spirits from Haeon, e4d84def62 ruffling his hair 388282da1c as a thank eaa090148f you.3d497975d5e7e0e0

Feeling the cold 4f572759ad temperature, as cold fed19c8ea7 as water, on 0ac6da1103 his head, Haeon 1dd1ebcc83 held his breath 355d848b3f for no reason. Only when the 254c72b8d1 fingers slid down e6e97760f9 his ear, tapped eef105ee39 his cheek, and 870a9f5e21 withdrew did he e5d3aabfc4 finally exhale properly.8f5018b7c66b05d8

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The fingers, thin and as cold as ice, didn’t have any special power, yet they felt like they were momentarily choking him.36c450ab21a5dc7d

He felt as if he couldn’t escape those fingers that wouldn’t oppress him. As soon as he realized how deeply that thought had rooted in his mind, Haeon’s rationality moved aggressively to uproot and discard it somewhere.df2680318db50c8e

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Still small, Haeon e423a3e4d9 sat down and d558af91f7 forcibly recalled memories d2c93bc51b of being hurt 8ad65c9fdc by people to be1cb7d4b0 show them. Lee Soo would leave c985696962 you, it shouted angrily, 005e921256 and finally, it brought 019e7080d7 up his parents.d927d0218c761c73

Haeon had 86b653c11d felt this e7e6e2ceb1 way once bbd4c0e857 when he cb6155486d was very f57a7e9376 young.b2460a6969cfe052

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When he heard his powerless father’s voice telling him not to see, hear, or move.45a93b0d06545160

It was just like that. With a voice that had no power or intent to oppress, like Lee Soo’s, Haeon could only stand as if his roots were deeply planted in the ground.15fc7ea3c7bef9f3

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Unaware of his current state, his heart celebrated, thinking he wouldn’t be hurt this time, bursting fireworks. Feeling his heart pounding loudly, Haeon suddenly held his breath at the overwhelming smell of fish.085544f9fddec8f8

Though he hadn’t held his breath for long, Haeon lowered his gaze and took a deep breath.eebf7b41090e9da0

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Instead of pushing away the unnamed emotion, the damn fishy smell stuck in his mind wouldn’t disappear.abf058952a91991d

Something surfaced 09949ec678 in his 35d29cfde6 mind. A large hand holding bddf4efba7 a small one gently. A person fc37cd6288 leisurely walking 1501e25136 ahead.50e8bdca17e72d2f

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He had only let go of that hand, drawn by a large, slippery, black creature. But he couldn’t grasp it for a long time, as if instinctively realizing that if he let go again, he would never catch it again.1100618db774841c

The young b05a211af0 me, looking 3e5e2ca686 down at 3da086b154 my empty d7b346a298 hand, the 499485f846 sound of 710ea6062b splashing water 23e16c1969 and footsteps df8ca4c597 echoing from fa0f9f8ab9 all around, f8f4cd149c and the 7145e0cb4a voice soaked 10611cbe63 in kindness, 0ba0409c4c nagging not dd5fbdd033 to run.d38baaf1db33f8a9

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Even as b908c2a8b6 they returned d2b70a03b1 and held 1461d9df8a my hand, 99deef78bd they worried, a9a47ec794 saying not cbad528ac1 to do 4c989d2273 it again. One who never 6f8db2986b said a word ad33862703 of concern and a9eed70ab7 one who never 49316f6992 came at all.ddfe409b8cac8c38

Countless noises tore 328f698f84 through my fragile 1bebc4698b ears. Like the 0e8786ad39 breath of caf09f2eea a dying a7ddf759a8 person, the 5c3ea16c47 thin mechanical 485366d52e sound continued, f7aa32b867 breaking intermittently, c23dc21a60 never quite 05573129f4 within reach.3aa66a90bd82f9b4

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Amidst it all, someone’s laughter and the pale feet softly stepping on the snow piled up. A man tracing the footprints left behind.8cbd34f5d76f6552

‘Why… why are you so lovely?’b230f0bb7f0141f1

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Though I hadn’t lost anything, the suffocating feeling of having forgotten something forever left Haeon unable to react.f90a35596d1bd8ab

With his head bowed, he stared at the clean floor with reddened eyes. He felt as if he sensed a worried gaze on him, but he couldn’t lift his head.27cdae443ee20698

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As he carefully pieced together his shattered breath, thinking he couldn’t show such a mess of a face, Lee Soo sat down on the floor and met Haeon’s eyes.81145f7a084b8c78

The clear eyes 2422d935bd observing him stirred 66b033d642 his emotions. He opened his 991717da0d mouth to say de5a591a86 something, but the c700089311 memories wedged between 5296846dbe his loosened rationality 30550e5c6c thrashed and screamed.d66d0a39b8a03db6

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Certain that he wouldn’t be able to form a coherent sentence, he closed his mouth again, but Lee Soo neither asked nor urged him.f0e9e2b48919ca2d

Unbothered by the dirt, Lee Soo simply sat on the floor, occasionally checking Haeon’s complexion while looking around. Initially, Haeon wanted to stand Lee Soo up, using the excuse of feeling burdened, but since Lee Soo didn’t show much interest in him, he couldn’t say anything and quietly stood there, receiving Lee Soo’s gaze.e9fa4d2d31a5e9ce

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How many minutes passed 29c37ad0d6 like that? Lee Soo, 2346079529 perhaps worried f9a4f51cfc about the e3a25eefb7 dungeon, sent 3f593304a9 the two d15d111c78 spirits he 9a29ab123d had kept 9e3316cc60 by his 2df8ca327d side to fba93ec9d2 where the 3a31e1751d next monsters 012a0391b8 were. Finding it absurd that aefdf19c75 Lee Soo sent the 6460c73fad spirits away without fear, ab11be7870 Haeon let out a 9420abfb18 hollow laugh, and Lee fece9a4047 Soo smiled innocently as 71c21b5b81 if he knew nothing.0fa188bc7699d8c0

Lee Soo, with his knees up and chin resting on them, looked particularly small, perhaps because he had curled up his body. He was small enough to fit entirely within Haeon’s shadow. Watching the small figure, Haeon ran a hand over his face and reached out to Lee Soo.c8cb605086035f8e

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“Get up. The floor’s dirty. Are you going to keep sitting there?”7d6181f2020da13b

Despite blinking obediently at the words, Lee Soo neither stood up nor took Haeon’s hand. Stubborn. Muttering with a hint of annoyance, Haeon withdrew his hand and clicked his tongue lightly, speaking as if it were nothing.8ad4211739cae383

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“It’s nothing. Just remembered something from a long time ago…”18c0fb148f94fde9

“And?”01910dd3a4dce36e

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“…It was a memory of losing my guardian’s hand and getting lost. I was young.”6388a9a9ffbe7649

Hearing the words “guardian’s hand” instead of “parents’ hand,” Lee Soo subtly examined Haeon’s face, then quickly composed himself and asked kindly.fee7b40722a2f3da

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The warm voice, like 2339dedbdf an adult speaking to 1a0712ba0a a lost child, made 67a84b58e2 Haeon touch his warming 5efdf41871 earlobe and roll his 7aec8b6c7c eyes. His ribs tingled.dcd13ff7f7647d1c

“…Yes.”d49f4fbe535657db

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“Were you very young? It must have been scary.”ed12c7d11f826acb

“Yeah, it was.”325f098b6d061f3f

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Contrary to his resolve adb659c3b1 not to talk about d628ab55cd himself, the answer came a843289e27 easily. Watching Haeon nod 32ba5060a4 gently, Lee Soo 3deea816b4 looked at him cd98c663cf with a gaze e08a0413ef like spring sunshine 57cfd9fd64 and slowly stood 2d45f82a17 up.428e6805f379abf6

“Sometimes, memories of things we feared as children resurface in our lives. It could be an irrational fear, like swimming alone in a pool and thinking a shark might suddenly appear from the end. Or it could stem from memories of being hurt by someone. When we’re at ease, we can laugh off those memories, thinking they wouldn’t bother us now. But…”478c0bd4c2545963

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Pausing for a moment, Lee Soo carefully took Haeon’s hand. Feeling the cold, slender fingers filling the gaps between his own, Haeon’s eyelashes fluttered. Watching the fluttering lashes, like dandelion seeds in the wind, Lee Soo spoke slowly.bda332bebf08a925

“When those memories come back during difficult times, at least for that moment, we return to that time. Not as the present self who can overcome that fear, but as the past self who had to be helplessly swallowed by it.”314d6a40d962c0f1

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They had many long conversations, but it was rare for Lee Soo to speak so long without waiting for Haeon’s response. So, without realizing it, Haeon listened intently to Lee Soo’s words, squeezing the hand he held.bdd90798705214fb

Feeling Haeon’s fingers intertwining tightly with his own, Lee Soo chuckled softly.d59ec3fb2280a9b0

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“So sometimes, we crumble like we did in the past. But, but… Just because we crumbled once doesn’t mean we’re the same as we were then. We’ve grown, and as long as it’s not too hard, we can overcome our fears without a problem.”4026ccd5413d70d4

The conversation veered off a bit. So what I want to say is…8d3b5becd7fdf3ac

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“When it’s hard, it’s okay to say it’s hard. When you’re scared, it’s okay to say you’re scared. Just by saying that, we won’t crumble, and we can smile brightly even a few seconds later because we’ve grown.”95704272bbdfd975

“…Okay.”71bc62411dab9706

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At the 2c6a0e2d37 short answer, a1b6aa4276 Lee Soo, 38d36a0905 who had b41fe8e5ce been looking ce6d436510 at him 65f3d69654 with clear 9d71d5625f eyes, narrowed 68c3c11bbf them like 4c27dd9da1 crescent moons 896e65f6cb and squeezed 9291ce0c99 the hand ed24cf2cd3 he held f8959886f1 before gently 65b14312aa letting go.95c4d2f9594e8ab9

“See? You’re standing straight without collapsing. Our Healer Haeon, you’ve grown up wonderfully.”ac7c31b22ad33564

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As if he knew about Haeon’s childhood. As if he knew about the turbulent growth process. Leaning on the whispering voice, Haeon closed his eyes for a moment.32a72b3fa328613d

A blue light flickered 3e722ebca6 beyond his thin eyelids.2a8699404a32bdbe

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He felt 5480f1aee4 an unfounded 85072138a9 confidence that 5748bf70e8 he might 49eed82159 no longer ffc7039d8a dislike aquariums. Even if all the 5b951509ca memories related to them ec1a5fc39e shook him, he felt 22e2df6522 he could pass through e4012c0452 those memories indifferently.24fee0ea05fe1e67