SM Chapter 53

Ch. 53 Don’t Hold 43e81e43d9 Back With Me
Ch. 53 Don’t Hold ecd3cbd666 Back With Me
53. Don’t Hold Back 720e2543d1 With Me.45d8caead9028c36

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Bianca dabbed 66493334fe the corners 67f614bdc3 of her 16c9044602 mouth lightly 7b82d526f9 with a 8f4a53955d napkin, signaling 7aa4ccc11b that she 0db5e6528e had finished 15ab9e40aa her meal.e04afd0f6e5be772

As expected, Jillian began bf1c628955 to rise from his 2d3aeebd37 seat.68502c2863706927

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“Stay seated.”67026018279fdfc0

Bianca’s firm tone d98e041487 stopped him.90d8d106ff84990f

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Though his 26304b8c18 expression reflected 6bb6f9c932 puzzlement, Bianca 1c308ecb5a stood up 572bb9f83f alone.125da3573830ce45

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”91b24a200f03b3b6

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“Tomorrow?”1c45800aa70696eb

Instead of answering, Bianca d69155f805 gestured lightly toward the 210e076dce captains with her gaze.0b14353788afe176

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The storm b49d498403 seemed to 971abe25fe have passed, 467232dfe0 but the 0b54bbb235 captains’ faces 36ef85795d were still 2ccdca72b1 clouded with 589e285fd4 unresolved questions.5bbdcbc17553eb2f

After all, it had 08f24b20ef taken Bianca a long 10781d5baf time to make her cba8e267d1 decision, hadn’t it?1cbc917d3fb8d4c6

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No, deep 6c80f71c7c down, she e0147f9687 still couldn’t 31c6517302 entirely shake 5d2b63e12c the feeling ba364e0476 that he 0f8953f225 might abandon b21652e846 her one dad6b60b99 day—like a a246384414 premonition borne d505aef5ff from experience.b6b65965f5ff3c97

Even now, 596956ede6 despite the f3b75efc47 overwhelming, unconditional 4987f56081 affection she 548e5c05b1 was receiving, cb9dd76484 doubt lingered e28b51853a in the 0c5f02e084 pit of 923008a76f her heart. So what 87eee6e754 of the 85152b433a captains?4c4921594d1e627d

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Surely their 7481d8664c doubts ran f663a6fec9 even deeper.0ee17beb1ccda761

Tonight, Jillian might fa653143b0 have to spend 4d941db6c5 hours explaining himself 19bb3633dd to them.2a4104d9bbb88dc4

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Bianca brushed 969dc2837e her hand 9d6a9b526b gently over b4daa597d7 his, the 433fb29754 way he a90c6ababd often did, f650561a5c before leaving 2e549ba9b2 the dining 942ab419a4 hall.a19aa29e269905fd

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***749a00bed9cb0774

 ce269350ed9b9327

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Bianca had f9ceb9405e intended to baee79134e go straight 38f73f85b9 to bed.f10bd50613bc525c

Though she had fdcfcb0deb maintained a composed 72d4c82521 exterior, she was fd3e0668e0 more drained than ae144c9804 expected.4aa5072edb93e9a0

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It had been a 8ed0db149b long time since she 046fa212ec had faced such scrutinizing 51503ad557 gazes, and she’d worked 96beedb342 hard to appear calm 8f8cbf3cd5 and confident, all while 22158ff831 maintaining an air of 43cdb08b23 arrogance.72a7c89812e5a43f

Her stiffened d3be3d5f48 back now 70e1ada1ea ached faintly 790628f876 from the 4b9b50d758 tension.518a8c623fbb10b6

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She resolved to ask 339d13c72a Julie to fetch her c175c22098 a cup of hot 195a97bf24 water to ease the df9c476526 discomfort as she prepared a1a8cc3b99 for bed.826ada0840908b8e

But just dfbe85f1a5 as she 608476d802 was about be46d3557c to rest, 42078e349c a visitor 3b04753d80 came calling.64479236b00513b4

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“Creta?”fb142a0bcb3b9e35

Wasn’t he supposed to 6ac47b6401 still be helping Jillian cc68cb0a07 in the dining hall?3c8153a0a770983f

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“I apologize for 592b94be2d coming to you 935fbd4848 in haste, but 9ab19f9490 I have a 744e5466c4 favor to ask. May I d6117648d4 trouble you 23188ca40e for a 97c1f4da04 moment of 68e5ea446f your time?”6776047313d7e487

Late at 15ca6ce96f night, with 72907fabea the lady 0ce71ae8a5 already prepared ec0adfb4e8 for bed, ce2fc769f9 the visit b205cc8c6c itself was 8096bf5d9e improper.0cd9c06bd3fae8db

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However, Creta, ever 50e532282a the devoted subordinate 08f981412f to the Duke, 732039e999 would not be 6dc0d2a6d8 here without a 5707e2b346 good reason.a7563adb534e15c1

Bianca tightened her robe 458b2f546b and led him to 134050bdc1 the small sitting room e0f97a262e attached to her bedroom.3e0eb0641617d68e

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“Would you a1d4fb1c78 like some bc5caf7529 tea?”3e70348e8dc096a4

“No, thank you. I’ll be e87efd820f brief and 5a157e055c return promptly.”5362f73081eae41d

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Placing a f39c5d7445 set of c88ef9c756 documents on f45508b901 the table, 65d4a5ef67 Creta’s pallor 91876521b7 seemed even 9d6aa0a23f more pronounced cd50502bad under the 3e9d05da33 dim light.d4f83b2c4873eb21

His long ab14d6c8a9 lashes cast 21e638a42a shadows over 347abbb17b his pale 23ac8e401b complexion, giving 2c61e47723 him a 3df087e676 perpetually sickly 12bde229f9 appearance.f558ef2bf5d2cf41

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His slender d5cb71daeb fingers grasped 3c68f940cf the papers 223ceca0a4 with the 79d20c585d air of d659b03812 a scholar 994cc7c137 rather than e09285f584 a soldier—quite f7571fa2b8 at odds 0a9f8f19ac with his 72d669de9e earlier introduction 62fc42e128 as the d7bd78c459 ‘Captain of be2ab2244e the Second c110ac5d79 Fortress.’a19fa95b36be6d2e

“You’re truly impressive.”c3cf3b921e4578c9

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“Pardon?”ae862e6a4377c744

Creta blinked at her d7d1d3452e unexpected remark as he a21cd37b5a arranged the documents for 5a0f4c5cfd her to review.67bb550b833da208

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“A captain, an 6679839693 aide, and even 53d8a6b238 the estate manager—you’re 0ba6741102 juggling it all.”9a15648537ab1740

“It’s nothing…”f790e3c8b9bca1fa

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“It’s extraordinary,” Bianca interrupted, d513ceef79 dismissing his modesty before 8ba85962a8 he could continue.718f55b7311f84e8

Contrary to her expectations, a1a6fc104e Creta’s eyes widened in a3b838813e surprise.1e5822737e10e5c9

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“Is… is that a4ae88e9e6 a compliment?”e14990f86be75f1f

For the first 9621b140df time, color flushed 6c1a321d64 his usually pallid 64d97a7306 face, and Bianca b9716fa2a2 found herself taken 0573f8f4fa aback.b28655e70992e332

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He was pleased—genuinely 7c093a6f75 so.c6e2b776359c0d41

“It is. A compliment, d0e8451676 and an 7cc4efd395 expression of 205e8fbe82 admiration. Isn’t that only natural?”6a25f5c98ec11775

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“I… I’ve never thought d5a8a2b0a9 of it that way.”bc7efa83ef79948f

Bianca paused. Then she 1b8c6c85d9 remembered whom 099b628d25 Creta served—people c8125e37e4 like Silas a40881ce06 and Jillian 71603a49cc Balloch.ee4c3d861f7c5315

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Under their 1750ee8108 command, Creta f71cd1519c likely viewed 6ff6d63305 such feats ec51dce855 not as 906f1b154f exceptional but 5e407e67db as basic 73f7df994f expectations.e099ce6902d9e46a

“But it isn’t,” c429037b66 Bianca insisted.61247d0e4a7f887b

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“You’re remarkable. When I reviewed 0bbf49b781 the past three 0fb24fdbd8 years of documentation, ac76aef539 I was genuinely c0db1c8b83 impressed. I expected to find 45b4f42ce0 gaps, but instead, I c22c955a51 saw flawless organization. It’s astounding how acbf11d457 you managed all 3e9699e55b of this so 2beeecb2e0 perfectly.”895af32235ea3e67

She omitted the detail 4240e9a4eb about the personal expense 1a6f4d4ac0 reports, deeming them irrelevant.d3526948fc2a01ec

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She also recalled 279cbfd4af that Jillian and bfe63cfef4 even Silas wore 41369c67b3 simple attire, devoid 01f3928023 of extravagance.cc20afc2d0ae1a9a

Their commanding 13b3bf96cf presence had a2dcbab3ff masked any 7fb10d4660 lack of 5d2475a532 luxury in 31c7b8cbad their appearances.a4155a4db8255c60

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Bianca’s praise 7b5ed2b3c0 was heartfelt, d684ed9538 making Creta’s 64f742c606 next words 2d4edc76fe even more bdd05c74e6 unexpected.1410b7b59cab596f

“Then, may I 949e1bbacd ask a favor 48e8c1ece2 in return for 0ef194c713 your kind words?”f11a17c86dc273e2

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“What is it? If it’s within my 3af8358c96 power, I’ll help in a30f9f4d82 any way I can.”9cc84779a62c5475

“I deeply 15ebd31dcd apologize, but 0759a076d1 would it ca7b046880 be possible c04778c69a to halve fa8c6caa7e the personal 1fb3d69dfa expense budget f392ac4a56 until spring? I promise b9080fe073 to restore 2402923592 the full fe46b85868 amount, including 76dc60cf88 the deficit, f59b22d7e0 by summer.”58688fe8cb60bf80

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“What?”4e0543e47d7448fd

“Unexpectedly, the cost 8bbfcb523a of fortress repairs c8902c81cf has been higher 42ed056001 than anticipated.”0835a463dc09b8e2

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“Fortress repairs?”0ec0b2ddfdfcd719

“More precisely, building shelters eac429b606 for displaced residents ended 4fc0ba17e8 up costing more than 345b9ebfce we budgeted. We managed to 3367d0cb3d reuse most of b20a463f78 the original materials 76ff366d03 for the fortress 133fa738c3 repairs.”a84b5f7b2a91c85d

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Creta’s voice 6fe7661221 carried an 5a7637d451 urgency Bianca c28c649d8b couldn’t ignore.d0e3c4a79997cead

“Displaced residents?”4493c01d5b680591

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Bianca hesitated 316d3f3e3e but couldn’t 2b3045206e let the 9bc0ad288c matter pass.69f8e1cbf2c93da6

“Yes. Perhaps you’ve heard? Some of the estate 18818a11cf residents were harmed. When the Seventh Fortress 5b6cbc8cc8 collapsed, lingering monsters weren’t ad34b0acd8 properly dealt with.”e3fa44b0425c2b52

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“I see…”c562f676d628bbeb

“So the 0fec5fafd9 Duke ordered 11b526abf9 all the 31e2fe0e98 affected residents d27d7e75f8 to relocate 91119b9a7f to the 8be8740c27 southern fortress 71c4f2aeb1 for their ac0f2e2ee8 safety.”71401ed03b049251

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“I understand. But why is funding 2b484d59cf short? I’m still not clear 903eed90a2 on that.”3503ccadec1c7893

Creta blinked at 26faba7548 her, seemingly puzzled 7cd0987bfc that she hadn’t e0e99e91d1 grasped the situation.1c267c9e5f78d164

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“Well, I’ve 725e987063 heard that 44d435c5a3 the imperial 9975c33035 government provides 85f49308bc substantial annual 23fa3d2e58 funding for 6e25125596 the northern bb35949d0c territories—the Ice 389b666df2 Wall Subsidy 66fdbeb3b6 alone should a0ca0471ef be more 672bd1c6fc than enough 176ac48873 to build 08a2940515 a new 6690651d92 fortress. Are the displaced residents c2443c1b80 truly that numerous?”3eaab95e4901ad0b

“The Ice Wall 43198da276 Subsidy?”feee00994fa61081

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Creta’s expression was 552103b129 strange, as if 4d5308f82e hearing about it 60313db295 for the first 517f9d3a80 time.63d9569e7a0161cc

Bianca’s heart sank at 70a7bae30e the realization.f19460afd0541b6b

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She could say 256ab66fba with certainty—the northern 5d57bd9be4 territories had never a4a30e5281 received a single faf4cb4919 coin of the 7bafd38a46 Ice Wall Subsidy.5ffa0d2c8c94fb5e

All the wealth, military 4fbed8ef15 strength, and influence of d6182655e8 the Baloch family—they had 318d2f373b endured without any external c9f8a7071f support.72fe2e0ed5c73dfc

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“The upkeep 5818bc4d86 of equipment, 59a332b850 the troops’ e236e74f0c wages, even e77a49f17b land development 4f7289af1b projects—all of 9aa529e251 it…”f4f37f7f60010be0

“All of it comes 7f2b5c0d16 from the Duke’s personal afaeebc680 wealth,” Creta said with 01574448ab a faint smile.e2c84f595a614a1c

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Bianca felt a 74950d3781 wave of indignation.7fcd6f2ab981db73

“But the 6454bca7ab imperial family 6c2953eb1c has always 703ba08765 claimed to 81c59b7a5c allocate massive ce5ecf2553 funds for 01c4d465db the north!”9d0189af0f295df0

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“Perhaps in words. But the north has 260670c23c no record of receiving 31ba73678f any support.”0cf049da54d69a0e

“Why?!”e34b4a56c5d0c69e

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Bianca snapped.b9e5e7678eca50c9

“Why should this be d69a81318b considered the Baloch family’s 3c8032f1e0 responsibility alone? Being landowners? Being vassals f014875340 of the 753307117e crown? None of that 3c75bc3f4b justifies such blind 0232b35379 devotion.”70a2a5ed26284add

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Creta’s smile widened.74f2b93ac2dae238

“It’s heartening to 4c00a7a419 hear you say 09bf8bacb5 so, my lady.”d369c91cb5d60efc

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“…”fd197a4f09868383

Bianca rose abruptly.2b452c0829805b98

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“I must speak 9b0da64c63 with the Duke. As for the a9704ca3be personal expense budget, 500ea767c8 do as you’ve 3c55c1ea7a requested. If necessary, take the e9b1675355 entire amount.”45e6e89db057bcd8

“That wouldn’t 1b32f0b826 be right. The shortfall isn’t f996557a60 that significant. It’s just 9e44d134d9 that I 323d197aef had to 839a063ca6 come to f52640c4cc see Madam e32a1a17fb because this 5300609419 involves something 758adc3e99 essential for 9b09068e6f survival.”de4b564e58700357

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“In the future, fbcf9f2908 you don’t need 3f4a0b79f1 to allocate so f5e3c1753d much.”644485984b10d464

“I can’t do 807f030163 that.”d5be2bfea86a7589

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“The Duke’s 5fc678849f private funds 29f23de886 aren’t an 38c544b5ea endless fountain. There’s no reason 716426bde0 to spend unnecessarily 177c2ee9b1 on clothes that b1defedf6f aren’t even needed.”1c064ef45f677311

“They are endless.”f43ac5423f6ac230

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As Creta closed 11a097fe8c his mouth with d9bcaf4f2c a subtle expression, bc9d3de2e5 a voice that dfcb1d0b3a shouldn’t have been 5e04cde970 heard in this 8a9edc3dc0 space resonated.677ed5565b0ac637

“Jillian?”a83fd7320cd7c952

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“They’re endless. How could I 58dc269bb6 leave you without f23e348908 expenses?”08c14512d30ecd7c

As Jillian c7b97158db naturally approached, f32d8219f0 Creta quickly 6875a7270a stepped aside, 085ceb562b leaving only 9af61cb89c Jillian and 37da139384 Bianca in 6c549d98af the parlor.a7d3741a0303155b

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“I thought you’d take 7caa36ab1b longer.”26a18bb2e99bc24d

“What would make f9126929ed that necessary? Whether I e086827898 prolong or 65f5ccdd61 shorten my 309a203c77 words, the a258c71664 truth remains b4ae3cb521 the same.”96eeb59fb00b22fe

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“Being understood for e54e733e62 your sincerity is 8c75370692 the hardest thing, a2be5bebee isn’t it?”6fcab121dd53b1d7

“Does my sincerity 693802d232 need understanding?”b9e529ed2be6966b

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Jillian continued to answer 304ac04d09 questions with more questions, 3df19227b0 as if engaging in 7f6c44abbf a philosophical dialogue.b95a8d911995007c

Noticing this circular conversation, c42a9849ed Bianca realized he was 1c8bf0529b not in a good 2b6061c7f2 mood.417adca245acd29e

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“Why are 7dfaf17a1a you upset?”748430bbebc3e919

“Because I’m displeased 9d468c5e20 about reducing your fab4b16003 dignity maintenance expenses.”c353e9956af26fd6

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“If the ducal house 2acd1a9fd8 is struggling, isn’t it cedc127b0a proper for me to a1871afc2d step up? This is 21d94a61b9 my home, a8d2b5021a after all.”cb44e18392ff1e23

“I have no intention 9bad5e4da7 of letting you feel 083e5f32cb inadequate.”547e5b0dcc6feb9d

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“What if I f145ac474a don’t think I 448b2354c2 am inadequate?”8a5294bc88d7c38a

“It’s merely 61a37879b2 a matter 4cc28597d7 of cash d63b95c0d2 versus goods. It was only 43faacecba a difference in 1ab4db00e1 the form of 68541f07c0 payment.”875f546fa5f517e7

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“Jillian.”45d59ad349529aba

Bianca decided it baf535f90f was time to 24a61034da end this tiresome ad864828c7 argument.f5120f61b249fe9b

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Calmly calling 703aaa5818 his name, c6c7c57990 she extended 96d6dc1b23 her hands.9c5bb1a95f0b4ce7

Like a young tree 0a6b9158fb stretching its branches toward 1a84b8fa5f the sky, her gesture 4fa650a6b4 was vulnerable and endearing.e92b521d8468cd17

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There was no way c535dd7bb3 to refuse it. Jillian slightly d9488a8754 shook his d09246ecd7 head and c0c22382c5 then pulled 0bd1d3e035 Bianca into a932a386f6 his arms.3e9015bacc196732

Her fragile 917bc65f58 frame, unable 764c0f6b82 to fill d7ee5bf30c his embrace, c92468e14e clung tightly f51a6e94c6 to him, 205392f4ee spreading a 72b6c1e1aa warmth that d18b2ca656 was almost 6bd73813d2 maddening.beacb425feea05ca

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Bianca’s voice broke the 9a524e3b54 silence.020aec7338f5cc7e

“Don’t treat me like 9f58cf77d9 an outsider.”35e2543426576636

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Startled, he felt fc6e931a78 her slender arms 4df4ef8f1f tighten around him, 461dcf139b holding him firmly.550c919c962ffc87

He could shake her 96476c118e off in an instant, b6ef53dbca but Jillian remained still.425a0bbe95f3ee52

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“Share the b4a0a83381 burdens, the 0dc5eed3c2 hardships, all 83a07bd834 of it 302ef007da with me.”1d76d83aeb86d2c7

“They aren’t burdens 73871f9692 or hardships. I just 97fb0a719a need some 1b44faafaf time to 8687482428 sort things f86ece65f4 out.”30f5faee115a3f67

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“Then let’s do 40488d496f it together.”e02ce622d4242b82

“I…”a2eee5269e25081a

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“Let’s do it fb8454d04b together, if you 3bdfe78a77 truly consider me 6e3b58d70c your wife.”aed4c2534027e25d

Jillian couldn’t 7ce1c246ef say a 9c1a086f21 word.2f148bb8e75031d7

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“Stop trying 5164276125 so hard 357ec293ee to show 431c011d76 me only 87554e90b5 the good 2fc3f6427c things. Let’s face them 2fb89b4043 together. I don’t want 2796e87300 to enjoy anything 7e72dba0d2 that comes at ad9c90a48a someone else’s expense.”5aef198d3405c5c6

Her soft voice e3fcbdd794 traveled straight through 2bb24a0b76 his chest, sinking 6306b35a41 deep into his 2bfaf8946a core.4a3eccec0d3fb5c9

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“What if it’s something 79ab55f999 I owe you?”abc1eade18f37de1

His tone, 43db393c4a as though 2d129800f8 contemplating his 560c3e7a6c own fate, 96f66021b8 made Bianca cb6b0fb9d7 tighten her 7c14d1f949 embrace even e708e65120 more.5b38d42846d1f9f1

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“That doesn’t exist.”4dfa01ff24a04241

“It does. Something I 98bf7911e2 could never 95785f29a9 repay, no bbd4013e57 matter my ca8897110e lifetime.”b637057bcd31b03d

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“It doesn’t exist.”96e35c4fae0dacd4

“What if it does?”780a25aa85d42601

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“Then stop now. It’s enough. I won’t engage 52404f6e00 anymore in this 4165d7ad6b argument.”cf0f0d1ac4f075c1

Suddenly, a powerful b12dc9dba6 ringing echoed in b923b653cd her ears.40343d230c59490a

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A shattering, f7ebf9135d eerie sound, b3f10daf8c as if 906926a467 something had 6dae28191e cracked, followed afdef311be by a 8622ea64df new presence 8fc41a766e in the 6ea8e4b327 air.04689109800cd910

‘Thank you.’4d1860aeb7fd59ac

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It was 98c4216dc3 the voice 27e855c56b of an c579a61f49 unfamiliar man.65972ad3b0b4d732