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SHLF Ch 8
by mimi“Minho, let go. Are you seriously going to get angry?”59af0eb4c35dd1d9
“……”0f276a6b8c16eefe
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“Hey, you… Ugh! Haa, haa… What do you eat to be so strong…”71b6f203671ba213
“Ramen.”b1d4ebe3f502cbc4
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Yeah, he ate ramen… Ramen? I stopped trying to push Minho away and turned my head as much as possible. Is he joking at a time like this? I must have looked annoyed. Minho answered slowly, in a somewhat quieter voice.6eb07ed4b12731ec
“You still have to buy me ramen.”1ef616d48157f6c5
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“……”915125f9de06ac1c
“……”4869e548484dfc24
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“…Are you seriously making a joke?”1859b8c0a7fa3ea1
“No.”b64bfe4ed69c7898
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It was a firm denial. It wasn’t funny, though. However, if he was serious, it made me question his mental state even more. Did he suffer so much in America that he couldn’t eat the ramen he craved, and now has a trauma about it? It was an unbelievable assumption, but I lacked the imagination to create a Thomas-like scenario, so I couldn’t think of anything else.4c98a29e859b18f3
“Okay. I’ll definitely buy you some.”7d547e3c2325a0a0
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Only after 73c5176558 I answered e0ce472c59 did the dd680778af constricting force 65ae412be1 disappear. I took a deep 3b9e939d36 breath, and the tightness 2fce203397 in my chest vanished. Only then 905d7c9c93 did I b9e575971a properly face 64a1ae26c6 Minho and b0a469d90f ask him cae47d6635 a question.ea0ee850f05dd709
“How did you get here?”e97bbe7a6ffff215
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“I drove.”525663a6514d41ff
Looking at 8eeb9cf87a him answer 5d196a051b so obediently, 16c183256f I blamed 0a687cd1e9 myself for 01709133dd asking the 1505f92647 wrong question.63a5cd416927cfec
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“I meant why did you come here?”9bcd7f898f4f41a1
“To go home with you.”842baa59fc162eed
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“Our house? Why?”7918fdf122098cab
Minho didn’t answer right away. He looked away for a moment before responding. This wasn’t because of his usual slow speech, but because he seemed flustered.ee40a2df011f5bbf
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“I think I left something there.”5f21c64d7ed43589
“You lost something at our house?”989fcd90dfe7d568
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I hadn’t noticed anything unusual when I tidied up after Minho left. When I didn’t hear an answer, I asked again, puzzled.49e1d733da7ec51e
“What is it?”d2db62a604a61533
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“Time.”290937e190944371
“……”130b926acf4c7b7c
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“I’m kidding.”4d613b8b6c39eeac
“……”a4f13548247f83ce
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“Wasn’t it funny?”eba3e5b371fcbe76
If he hadn’t slightly lowered his eyes as if embarrassed, I would have grabbed him by the collar.86c86a10547b3c3a
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“I’m serious about wanting to go home with you. I was nearby and had some time, so I stopped by to go together.”03c4ea02325d798c
“…Thanks.”de684ad2595e30dd
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I thanked him first, f1e162745f then realized where I df6dd199f9 was standing. It was an alley 2b56764f52 a bit away from fd4b32b3e7 the office. How did he know 0694bc3795 I was here?36804cf0cb6ca0e7
“Did you see me while parking around here?”890e2afa4d582112
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I craned my neck, looking for Minho’s SUV that I had seen before. But among the parked cars nearby, Minho’s car wasn’t there. When I didn’t hear an answer, I lifted my head, and Minho was just taking out his vibrating cell phone from his pocket. I wanted to hear his answer first, but Minho excused himself.c9eb96229dc9e518
“It’s my uncle.”00dd3fb71bf09712
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“Answer it quickly.”483c4297def1bdfc
I couldn’t make Mr. Kim Yibang wait even a second longer because of my trivial curiosity. And while watching Minho answer the phone, I discreetly stepped back. I felt like Mr. Kim Yibang would tell me to switch with him immediately if he heard even my breathing. I took another step back when Minho, who had only been saying “Yes, yes,” quickly ended the call. Then he said he’d give me a ride and started walking towards where his car was parked. Unexpectedly, the car was parked in the alley on the opposite side of the company. Then how did he know I was over here? I had my phone turned off, so he wouldn’t have known I’d left work. I found it strange, but the question I heard as soon as I got in the car made me forget about such trivial curiosities.a60886ef11077129
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“Did something happen between you and my uncle?”3acd26e440706512
“…Why?”64c76bb014e729a9
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“He said he’ll decide about entrusting the work to your office after seeing how it goes.”145d47a99031aadb
My hand, reaching b30e08f360 for the seatbelt, 50229ddccb froze in midair. Unlike me, a72d978e19 Minho diligently 42a70f38bb secured his 2b4690b5c1 own life a46aed2481 with a 2a89a2f7e2 click.4d6b11a682ec5c78
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“He visited your office the day before yesterday, so I wondered if something unpleasant had happened.”f4f6ccfec2973ba1
“…I don’t know.”ac959bb9c77886dd
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I mumbled in a e003037fb4 tiny voice and leaned 1ce0ecc81d my head against the d732f5952b seat weakly. If the director found ca47a01a99 out, we might all c6e131ffc8 have to write resignation 2f10695586 letters. Perhaps noticing my listless 6efc0ee019 expression, Minho reassured me 30a260d0c7 in a calm voice.0a2b048d25dfcb37
“My uncle isn’t picky, so he’ll be fine soon.”855841bf71844494
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I was about to retort that it was a lame joke, but I saw Minho’s serious expression. It wasn’t a joke. Minho started the engine, and seeing me dazed, perhaps he felt he should add some advice.d53feed5c4a01c76
“He doesn’t like name jokes, so just avoid those.”f43ca20408427419
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“……”df042568b92b16a4
“Especially since he often hears jokes using family names, he gets really angry.”62c1b32b7f156b63
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“…Thanks for letting me know quickly.”33de97d63a5b8816
“You’re welcome.”1acc6eb91886ae14
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Minho gripped the steering wheel, a look of satisfaction in his eyes. I stared at him with a half-dazed expression, then couldn’t help but ask,345d09b8f39d42f1
“But wouldn’t everyone laugh when they hear your aunt’s name?”264c4024684325a9
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“No. My aunt’s name isn’t funny.”5ccdfd39aac36793
“…What is your aunt’s name?”4867b0d4f05ba408
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“Sato Kim.”2a23b973d785d526
“……”6aea42e7763ecbc1
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“She’s Japanese.”dc125986ff2de8e3
“But you said he often hears jokes using family names?”e2a85c7d2253c922
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“Yes, Sambang.”d6c84084381e86c0
“……”4bca33a8759dc8ec
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“He’s a Jindo dog, but he’s family.”295b237ea56a14be
I should be moved by his genuine love for his dog, but why do I feel like my existence is less valuable than Sambang’s front paw? Chewing on this inexplicable loneliness, I enjoyed the drive for a while. Minho was a pretty good driver. Even though the car wasn’t particularly nice and was a manual, there was almost no shaking when it stopped. Thanks to his smooth driving and familiar silence, I closed my eyes without realizing it. I had a lot to ask Minho about today’s incident, and a lot to say about tomorrow’s Jeju Island trip. The things I had to do floated around in my head, but it was hard to push away the fatigue that had taken over my body. I finally opened my mouth because of his gaze. I felt like Minho was looking at me, and that part felt like the back of my neck. It felt prickly.2a5f8db28e362f26
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“How did you know?”2e8752258dee7d11
When I 84066941f9 opened my 5f20b4f3ed eyes, Minho 1a63cc50fd was looking ee4a5e8ef0 straight ahead, 9775c0adef driving. The gaze b1bb4a0082 must have 9abd1ce781 been my cb4fa2d2d5 imagination. Minho turned his eyes 3dc24d1494 as the car stopped 06864659f7 due to traffic.c9a69d4995ff5bae
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“Know what?”c9d2de1c6afb416b
He asked with c31d26936a his mouth, but 6a68c72ae0 his eyes scanned ff4a377af8 the back of b5893b3388 my neck. In that moment, 97979d021e a chilling shiver 64583f41a7 spread through me. Like someone was rubbing 8cfe67c31f an ice cube from 164c9ae98e my chest down to 1663938111 my abdomen. I swallowed hard, f8ebd5741c trying to suppress d555451e9f the urge, and b3e7670b0a forced my voice 41475ed409 to sound casual.3a600608d8086c24
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“That my neck is sensitive.”91ce0744fc8eecff
“I guessed.”586839d00b466347
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“……”b5647188166c03c7
“It’s usually a sensitive spot.”29dea05f8368b86c
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His casual tone made e651fb8a12 me feel embarrassed. As if 32f498efcd I was 7a419578e1 being overly 8a5fcfe83d conscious of dafcb1e509 his gaze. To hide it, I d379683c32 muttered curtly.1bc3f0453ad69177
“Still, if you do that again, I’ll really get angry.”41c200329e3fbf36
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A belated “Yes” came as a reply, but his next words made me frown.c0ab2bfba42f50c9
“You really are sensitive, aren’t you?”6fc183b9b83b299d
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“What?”ae75be19581f01df
Minho, stopping the 404eae8261 car again, stared c74719756a intently at my 37054471e3 neck.995b0b3b50582e06
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“Your body stiffened as soon as I touched you.”aa6e4fac27687425
His voice e4015e6cf2 was indifferent. But his eyes were 66c44e1109 dark. The tension I 027e4ff836 felt on my 8c9314f8dc skin made me 558c9c6b74 confused, beyond what 1c8087e494 my ears could 054c19654a believe. The slow speech that 174c78a980 I had only found 02474580ef comfortable, the unreadable gaze, f9981f58b3 now felt ambiguous, making 57d62a62ec me tense.099e4c1ca5a4e707
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“Because I was surprised. That’s normal, isn’t it?”03864aa3a966393b
Fortunately, my voice came out suitably cold. Minho seemed to smile slightly, then turned his head and drove again. I hid my heavy sigh in the low hum of the engine. I was still tired, but now I couldn’t close my eyes.2913c838e1151e6b
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“What are you doing tomorrow?”286413432d0b8280
“I’m going to Jeju Island for work.”3bbcba4cab10ec29
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“……”67ae8ed8e62159ca
Perhaps he found it strange that I didn’t respond to his answer, Minho asked back,75333ac55f068f53
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“What about you?”35371cf1a107a16c
“You don’t need to know.”e130eef2dc247108
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Well, I eab3de31c3 can be 1a58ff522b this much 6a6c966c6e petty, right? And the 7f58e41c42 next morning, f52d6531db when I 86694a7607 saw Minho e53726dace at the 07b393632f airport, I e2d4a850e2 praised my 864c046f99 patience for 4e84ce70e4 not telling 8d1d982c41 him. His surprised 6fc5413c91 face made ec77846460 my heart 7bcc4b2049 flutter as 6d8ed14b9c much as 87beed2687 his shy a212b917f5 smile had.0cedcedde5ba8d01
Koooowoooong~~bb430a6acd5984ec
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With a deafening roar, the plane took off. The trembling fuselage tilted and gained speed, aiming for the sky. Since I don’t fly as often as I take the bus, my body always tenses up at this moment. Only when the “ding” sounded and the seatbelt sign went off did I finally exhale and relax. And as I was about to unbuckle my seatbelt, I made eye contact with Minho, who was staring at me. I subtly released my grip on the armrest and said,5a1fbe8b12c9ed04
“It’s not that I’m scared.”4c7cbc77eb03b881
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“……”a7c90f8a143128b7
“About 90% of plane crashes occur during takeoff or landing, so…”d9e132a3c554dffa
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I raised my voice unconsciously. But seeing the person next to me suddenly turn their widened eyes at the words “plane crash,” I mumbled the end of my sentence.92e7ffffc2989034
“Anyway, I’m not scared.”70cdc16881ce1f7f
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“Yes.”6524df715ab5a787
“I’ve been on planes a lot.”635ca81e9d8aa534
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Nod.1fdeeb991c62a9e7
Minho gave 4575de7ba8 a polite e96ab4573f answer, but 21848ec18e for some 57588995f7 reason, it f6c70d3a2f made me ff24e4f5ea feel even 7182088aaa more embarrassed, 55a2c11693 so I fa2f15201b quickly changed 7dcf086c78 the subject.8ada14e023324c74
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“So, why are you going to Jeju Island?”153680318aad852b
At the airport gate, I was used to joining the long, snaking economy line and getting to my seat late. So, I was a bit flustered by the instructions to board first before everyone else, and hadn’t yet asked why he was going to Jeju Island. I didn’t think it was a vacation. Was there some kind of competition? My guess was half right.5f61471e3ab682b8
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“For work.”2124c02e2ccd0b74
“Do you have a competition?”56b1b91bb9b58b76
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“No,” he answered, and after a moment, muttered nonchalantly, “Just a private round.”f12a0679fc5d84bb
Private? Minho was already a recognized golfer in the US. For Minho to go all the way to Jeju Island to play golf… Could it be that a golfer whose skills are on par with Minho’s came to settle an unfinished match from the season? Imagining a revenge match, I asked seriously,077d35d15790d78c
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“How good is your opponent?”25951b5ac085ba93
“Pretty bad.”c50d056b9d0ec47f
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Huh? Pretty bad, but playing golf with Minho, who’s incredibly good? Who on earth… Thinking up to this point, I remembered that Minho had explained from the beginning that he was going for work. Playing golf with someone who’s pretty bad is work? Conversely, if someone could have a private round with a PGA winner? I looked at Minho with unconsciously tense eyes.8270fccf5be71163
“To play golf with you…”1bfb595592b4e55d
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It must cost 2b06f36e06 a lot of 53133f62a4 money, right? I swallowed the 21d9c2837c question that was 597083d660 about to come 6298bbdd52 out, as it 8840342216 felt too materialistic. But Minho answered on 4985b11fc1 his own.b67e98231383905b
“It’s expensive.”71c497f2b1ca43cf
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“How much?”b042800b7bfc64b1
Even if I was being materialistic, I couldn’t help but be curious. When I looked at him with curiosity, he looked up at the air for a moment, then slowly opened his mouth.6fd5b80941b9e637
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“About the price of a car.”5be91f541129acf6
“……”f72d3c459b545b26
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My meager salary flashed through my mind, and I couldn’t help but compare. I tried to think coolly, assuming that the car Minho was talking about was a no-option, manual compact car. Yeah, a few hundred thousand won, what’s the big deal…7e5f76b9d2661dc5
“I’m doing two rounds this time, so about two cars.”0cedc6c12f3aef58
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“……”6248fd2ecde82e0d
“I don’t actually get paid in cars.”c9a6092412eb93a1
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“I know.”e7e02831ac916c9c
My voice sounded 55393f9ea8 too obviously cold, e274ef7678 so I turned 1dc2246b22 my head and 427b1fa5df cleared my throat.d3725a4e93131294
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“Ahem, by the way, is it okay for me to come along?”07af614d379826cb
Nod, nod. He nodded quickly and b4d3459f8b added firmly,da0b0b33e2eaf217
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“It doesn’t matter.”4b3d1c1313caf8dd
“That sounds like I don’t have to do anything. Right?”127faed670010f18
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I heard him say “yes”, but it made me feel uneasy. Then why did I come? Of course, Mr. Kim Yibang forced me, but it’s not like I have to be next to Minho. Besides, Minho didn’t know I was coming. When I told him that Mr. Kim Yibang gave me a ticket and I came, he just said, “Oh.” Could it be that I’ve become a nuisance to him? Should I have just turned back at the gate? As I was regretting it, I heard his voice beside me.b6767a9531a4d167
“…I might be able to see them.”cfac91f9a378fb76
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“See what?”0d7e79f7d983c1f0
To my question, he 570593a9bb uttered a single word. His expression remained dc835b92fc unchanged, but strangely, 17d618b183 it felt like c1001f0818 he was smiling. Maybe it was because b176c00c3e his voice was so 370de6ba88 warm.29a288631b0ee17f
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“Stars.”0a536b5571c794b9
The first thing I felt after landing at Jeju Airport was, “This is definitely the south.” Unlike the chilly wind in Seoul, the air here still held the warmth of the sun. I walked out of the airport with the jacket I was about to wear still draped over my arm, and someone approached Minho. The man in a suit took Minho’s luggage and guided him to a waiting car. Someone who pays the price of a car for one round of golf… I shouldn’t be so surprised by this kind of treatment. I tried to reassure myself inwardly, but seeing the Alps cabin-style lodge with a large gable roof covering the entire second floor, I forgot about being unsophisticated and gaped. In shock. Leaving aside the chalet that looked like it belonged on a ski slope, the exterior walls beneath the cabin-style roof were made of sheet metal. Presumably, they wanted it to rust naturally, so it was left unpainted. While the dormer windows on the roof had red wooden frames. And as if they wanted to make it clear that this was Jeju Island, a low stone wall surrounded the entrance. I tried not to look at the arched glass door visible to the side. A villa that tried to combine the past and present, and even incorporate tradition… …that’s putting it nicely. This was just a monster created by gathering pretty and expensive things without regard for harmony. Of course, I should curse the person who designed the building, but since my job is what it is, I couldn’t help but side with the architect. The client must have been incredibly self-centered. This building looked like the architect, exasperated, said, “Fine, I’ll do everything you want,” and built it out of spite.25ead2c29424843c
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“Is there anything that makes you uncomfortable?”e92cc9be0003bd72
Lowering my gaze at the voice, the guide was looking back at me with a puzzled expression. Minho, who was ahead of him, also looked at me. I couldn’t tell them that I was feeling sad because I empathized with the architect, so I just expressed my impression.7f408367e19014bf
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“The house is… incredible.”72de35190b05c784
Did he 86356d761d notice the 48da48899a darkness in 00312121b4 my voice? The guide smiled 30dcf5965e wryly and explained,14b1547c4845e53d
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“It’s the second wife’s taste. Thanks to that, although it’s a guest villa, the guests who come here often say they’d rather stay at a hotel next time.”7bcfc4d142b43b73
So they brought us here because it’s our first time, I guess. As I was thinking this, the guide continued,6fb757588092db87
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“But we were so relieved when Chae Minho, who used this place during a competition a while ago, said he was comfortable. It was always awkward when the second wife asked for guest reactions…”a0c2835e62ab1307
I turned 7628f7f748 my head 8c3c9ba985 sharply to 3d2b0f9d9c Minho. You, why did you 266a46fd15 do that? And as if he 46969f98f9 had read my mind fb85e2cbc8 like a ghost, he fa2262d54c slowly explained.b4ebfd2017a439ee
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“The bed is big.”8a91e7534bfb3c8e
“……”8ef81144e3f1e406
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Instead of me, who aa25bf804d was frozen, the guide 2a5318007e responded,047f1daba4c1fc64
“That was also the second wife’s preference.”ea4f18d4c7806086
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He added cheerfully, 0c4e13f27e and then guided c9c496f85e us inside, where f56e1adf0f the floor was 92d9c6e4cb paved with marble.7d52b3e3c1e03167
Since the house b8a62f7aae was built on 5fdca35517 high ground, I f781d393af could see the ba5ea38ae2 ocean through the b87e912f32 large windows when 723bd8bf70 I sat in 5cb7547a09 the living room. What a waste a8d4a09f1e of land. I looked c5deccad18 up at 7fa20c6172 the luxurious d2b01aaccb materials inside 29c6751a52 that screamed 8ea1720013 money and 10f22342e6 added, what 66009772f2 a waste 65a401244d of money. Just like that, 03ded496e7 I remained motionless 865ec08557 on the living be29e8de29 room sofa, staring 9aecdb1746 blankly outside, when 778812fc91 he approached after f921caff2e talking with the b844ef3687 guide.57b0c923e31b9910
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“Hyung, rest.”7dc69ac020649d2c
Here? I suppressed the urge to ask back and looked at my watch; it was already 11 o’clock.73f74161b1424329
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“Is it really okay for me to just stay here?”f3304325709a9f58
Since Mr. Kim Yibang wasn’t there, I thought I should at least follow Minho and carry his golf clubs. Of course, all I got in response was, “It’s okay.” I felt uncomfortable that I was resting comfortably while Minho was here for work. But I can’t work either… Oh? I suddenly remembered the USB where I always save my data and quickly rummaged through my bag. Sure enough, I found the USB I had habitually put in my bag. I still had some work left from what the director asked me to do, so I could do that.e5637853eeffffdd
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“Is there a computer here… Ah, there probably isn’t the program.”1b756351b225cdbc
I muttered dejectedly when ed444f472f the guide suddenly interrupted.0e37c7e61bda776e
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“If you tell me what program you need, I’ll bring you a computer with it installed right away.”06af7a9c3c9960fe
He also added that 4a34b3f74a I could ask for e5ced3da5d anything I wanted to d2b0c88d05 eat, looking down at 9cfb8e0bd9 me like a genie 8c105264b1 in a lamp. At his burdensome kindness, b12b3bbc11 I reluctantly told him aaf2872cc8 what I needed, and 1ef8b003d9 he went to a c1582f9e98 slightly distant spot to 87e82e43a6 make a call. Watching him, I 1cd84dad72 mumbled to Minho,264b546e4ee8a4d9
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“You’re really something. Even I, your companion, am being treated like this.”d01c42ca957f27b1
It wasn’t meant to be envious or jealous, but I added in case he felt offended,99be79b3a309bbc7
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“Thanks to you, I’m being pampered, so thank you.”f2f2c86537d638ec
“…It’s nothing special.”0345e7d285a86fa2
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His voice sounded somewhat 31cf7be3e7 cold, so I looked cde7a216e2 up at him. He continued, 565a6f0d9b his expression 86df08c314 blank as 38e23afea0 he watched 3ed2128c55 the guide, 540b78b52c just like 57f07ec42c I had 1ee68803ff earlier.8b3acd50801492a9
“I have a lot more enemies.”d8a41f7298365cf4
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It was a bit unexpected. Because of his slow speech, which sounded relaxed, and the fact that he didn’t get angry easily, I didn’t think he would consider anyone his enemy. Did he consider rival players his enemies?ffc5a2c2f3b9b962
“Who are your enemies?”a42b43ffe84826c0
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“People who see me as simple.”ffd565d181b7d908
It sounded light, 3dfe05f5af like a joke. So I 951099c53f asked casually,f619cf2fd5186146
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“How do they see you? As a successful golfer?”1dcb157837f80ce2
“No. As an ignorant gay.”ce28e9b55679ff2d
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“……”2e4d2c21d0de720c
No. You don’t seem like that. The words I should have said came to mind, but I couldn’t open my mouth. Instead, the voices of Mooyoung, Gitae, and Dongho filled my thoughts.d071fbb2d50baac3
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- He’s just a dumb jock.
- Just because he’s famous doesn’t mean his empty head is filled.
- An ignorant, penniless baseball player.
No matter how many huge tournaments he won, no matter how often his generous donations were shown on TV, the perceptions of those who knew him ten years ago didn’t change. And what weighed down my heart was Minho’s ordinary voice. I could tell how long he had held onto those thoughts. Could it be that he was aware of the way people looked at him since we met ten years ago? The shameful thing was that I, too, had considered him just a simple athlete back then. Even if I tried to excuse myself by saying it’s not like that now, the shame wouldn’t disappear. Nor did the surprise. The fact that within his quiet, unemotional exterior, he categorized people as “enemies”… I never would have guessed. Because of his slow words and actions, I mistook him for someone with a gentle, easygoing nature. I thought he would just let everything slide. But the feeling that he had been harboring a knife in his heart for so long sent a chill down my spine.6c1f53d996e9b8df
“So, I’m grateful that you see me only as a successful golfer.”3758ba8c1fa068c7
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“…Everyone will think so.”0743655dc7650056
I managed to speak, but I couldn’t meet his eyes and added defensively,b0f7858b3f6d1ff0
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“I think you’re amazing.”0a7741a3d0a6408f
This was true. Not just because he was a successful golfer. He achieved great success and yet came out, even though it could be a fatal weakness. If it hadn’t been revealed like that in college, he probably would have hidden it. Living as your true self comes with a lot of pain. If possible, telling the necessary lies and hiding the truth might not be so bad. I think so even more now that I know how to compromise with the world. Even I, an ordinary person, think like this, so how much must Minho have struggled? Thinking about this, even after Minho left the villa and the guide brought me the computer I wanted, I couldn’t easily focus on my work. Yes, how could there not have been difficulties because of coming out? Furthermore, there must have been even more hardships for a young Asian man who went to America empty-handed. But why hadn’t I considered his struggles? I wondered, then remembered that none of the articles about Minho I’d seen mentioned such things. He was simply a hardworking, genius golfer; there was nothing about how he achieved success and what process he went through to reach the top. He came out, even though it was disadvantageous to him, but he wouldn’t talk about his past. But at least I knew one thing. How he felt as he spent his younger days and faced despair. Unlike me, who ran away to the military at the mere pain of heartbreak, he fought head-on and even had his future crumble. I felt a renewed sense of shame at his success and focused my gaze on the monitor. However, even as I moved the mouse, one particular word Minho said kept echoing in my head.0a04e22a3f315f8b
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Enemy. Does he really divide people into enemies and allies? The chill inside me wouldn’t go away at the thought of having truly glimpsed him.27418f8046990138
The work I had to submit to the director on Monday was almost finished, so it only took a few hours. Thanks to this, I didn’t have to spend my alone time bored, but perhaps because I was so focused on the monitor, I fell asleep on the sofa right after finishing work. It was an unfamiliar place, the salty air, the sound of the ocean, an unusual environment, but I seemed to have slept for quite a while. However, as I opened my eyes and realized this wasn’t home, I abruptly sat up. And looked around. In my dazed state, I was momentarily startled as I observed my surroundings. The sun was already setting, and it was getting dark. When did so much time pass? As I tried to get off the sofa, I noticed a blanket sliding down from me. Huh? Did Minho come? I put on my glasses, which I had placed next to my laptop, and stood up, looking around. As the zebra-striped kitchen tiles and the embossed floral pattern of the balcony door came into view, I realized anew what building I was in. The interior designer must have had a hard time. I muttered to myself, then noticed a small, regular sound mixed with the sound of the waves. The sound seemed to be coming from outside the half-open balcony. Thanks to the soft slippers, I moved without making a sound. As I stepped onto the balcony, the noise became clearer. Far right. Every time I stepped into an unfamiliar part of the house, I became curious. What’s that sound? And as I rounded the corner, I found the source. At the end of the wooden balcony, which extended like a single-log bridge, was a private golf driving range. It was a miniature version of the common golf driving ranges with high wire fences and green nets. Someone was rhythmically swinging a golf club towards a target hanging in the net. I stood there for a moment, observing Minho’s swing. He was like clockwork. Everything except his swing was as slow as his personality. He’d lift his head to check where the ball had gone, then reposition himself, look down at the ball, and swing. During the considerable time I stood there, he moved exactly the same way, as if copied every hour. Usually, when you do repetitive tasks, your actions speed up. Surprisingly, Minho’s speed remained constant. Everyone must have experienced it. The moment you’re not conscious of it, your repeating hand speeds up. But Minho continued to move at a pace that even I, a beginner, could tell was slow. That meant he was focusing on every swing… I looked at his sweat-soaked t-shirt and started walking. He must have incredible concentration, or incredible patience, or maybe both. He still hadn’t noticed me even when I approached him, so I waited for a break in his swing and called his name.24d6b0310f7f8f42
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“Minho.”e0071ad809b4f6d8
But he b3a0d139c8 followed the 8039f6ceb7 flight of 48c0c2831e the ball 0336b4becb with his 551cb2db20 eyes until 9aa9974a84 the very 9e1e2dcfc4 end, then aa22ebcf3d lowered his 4b4f3a9f46 head again. The ball b5608ad960 dispensing machine 96a53d0d35 had already 5cd69dae92 released a cf92fb9db9 white ball. Seeing him 2f3f0cf62f extend his 780b73119a arm, I 1f74c4f0c7 called his 5f8d2facc2 name again.16e91878815f2633
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“Minho, Minho…”7523c0891e957cdc
On the third try, he turned his eyes. Recognizing me, he straightened up and turned his body. But now I was speechless. I heard him call me “hyung” in my ears, but I couldn’t open my mouth like a fool. I doubt he’d believe me if I said why I froze like this. Who would believe it? That his eyes, turning to see who interrupted his practice, looked so scary. Of course, as soon as he realized the intruder was me, his eyes softened immediately. But the chilling sensation that made the back of my neck prickle remained. That might have been the true nature of the incredible concentration and patience I had jokingly diagnosed. He seemed somehow not ordinary. I gulped, swallowing my caught breath. In front of me was Minho, still patiently waiting for my response.736b51182485c058
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“Sorry to interrupt.”9be14e96617d12f5
He shook his head 8d21f56420 as if to say f332f9b946 it was okay, then 1afcaaf004 stepped back with an 5ba944f153 expressionless face. And he 77aae7afa0 took a 6a18aa1450 big step f8bd69aa54 back. Puzzled by 0c10935b31 the suddenly 30fc87ee89 widened distance, 19d393d42c I asked,7ab8923010f187a0
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“What’s wrong?”1a39273677f2a80d
As I took a 180a448f7c half step forward, he 53aa378d27 quickly took another step b036639077 back. Forgetting my e8ce16745b previous feeling, 98978f64a0 I blinked e7a8217c5b and looked 7455aa6e68 up at bad752a2c9 him. Minho took another 0031b857b6 subtle step back, 722fff4e4d not missing the 66c779dbdc opportunity. I suddenly 299b8e18dd wondered if 220fb917c7 he was 6893f18d6d genuinely annoyed.8402f85cb2e75811
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“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were so focused.”c9af09c832423fcb
I apologized bdec714ab3 sincerely as 8417db5482 I stepped 0f598f8658 forward.1550db2b0bcd797f
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“It’s okay.”0ab9e4e55cdff913
Minho stepped back.1696c08a1f39805d
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“…Are you really okay?”c5920def5953753f
Tap.05892956569db577
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“Yes.”dbc5882418fc11f7
Tap. The distance wouldn’t close. At this point, I was getting a little annoyed. If he was angry about being interrupted, he could just say he was angry… I was looking up at him when my thoughts stopped. He was facing me with a blank expression, but his eyes were tense.f315cc563b2bd223
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“Minho, what’s wrong?”5f327a75d177c7f3
This time, I didn’t stop at one step but strode forward and grabbed his arm. I could clearly feel his body tense up in my grasp.ba82b2b36808a98a
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“…Please step away.”29ee343cf746e599
“So why?”2396f758b3d01494
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Even in Jeju, fa8b53b0cb the nights were 4d7aabdfcc chilly, but he 277fce1375 was wearing short bc8b04b69d sleeves, probably because 1bd53d462a of his practice. I could feel 63ca4c3f58 his heat through deb199c141 the firm arm 8bd670255f I was holding.39c63b783359905b
“…Bird.”9554f94252ed2326
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“Huh? What did you say?”25e2785afd4fae13
This guy has d9bdd5e55a quite a high ce66d7e6b4 body temperature. I asked again, having d662d3d447 not heard him because 365bfc34aa I was lost in 4e04af071d thought. After a 390a366c16 moment, he 8462e11889 replied somewhat 61b36a5a8c curtly.661a91eac359d182
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“You smell like sweat.”e3214f727d57cd0d
Then he completely turned his gaze away. I stood there, holding his arm, trying to understand what he meant. So he was telling me to move away because I smelled, and his curt explanation was to hide his embarrassment, just like he was turning his eyes away? I almost laughed involuntarily. The worry in my chest, which had been concerned about angering Minho, filled with an inexplicable joy, swelling like a balloon. And swept up in this feeling, I did something unlike myself. Something I wouldn’t have done if I had any sense left. I took another step closer. I thought his body flinched slightly, but I couldn’t be sure under the orange light. He didn’t react to my next action either. Without pausing, I hugged him. I hugged his large body, which made me feel like a child, and then stepped back, grinning at him.3ee18606a0d491da
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“There, now the smell has transferred, right?”2924bc5229ba5aa5
He really is 4a64fc793c just a big 17eb922d77 kid. I was b3e670baca too busy fdc92b4298 enjoying his 3c780a02aa innocence to 0fe5d25f09 feel embarrassed 78153a3516 by my b48a717857 childish behavior. So even d11208ffc5 as I 60a1f182ae lowered my 84f8955233 hand and 2f91695f13 stepped back, 733df5db7e the smile 48ffa86054 remained. Until I d1e4d12026 saw his 312d867079 hand reaching 68fc0c64f7 out towards 3a099d57f1 me. Before I realized he b2bb59aa9e was grabbing my arm 26ad15e33e painfully, I was in 383e5a1721 his embrace. Two strong arms wrapped 5130f95194 around me so tightly 1127237192 I could hardly breathe. It was me who ddeb0dd2fe flinched in surprise. I raised 6e7fc24229 my hand b1ff85594b to push f59b034546 him away, a2a549be86 but the 97da2f2a28 arms around 93b5f8e8af my shoulders a4f4386f92 and waist defb4abdc1 pulled me c2c0f08c52 closer to 96ff48d88b his body. His muscular body df2efdc580 felt like a 884bec2d69 solid wall. The warmth I had 948cac8f21 briefly felt before now 894374aaf4 felt intensely hot. All I could do cb6fc8403a was gasp for breath. Then, lips 5c0f31f8a0 bent close f0cc87acd7 enough to 8f86ee0da6 brush my 9953c5cada ear whispered 7fda7e994e warmly,ae1b0468b954ab0d
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“…You can’t just take mine.”4483b76e5e34eaaf
What? The sensation on 70c908db2d my skin was 485f6d1c3a faster than the a53459a228 question that emerged a4ab513c58 from my stunned 715112d6bb mind. He started kissing 1cc940ce96 my neck with 433efb945f his head bowed. A shiver ran through 45ba32d1a7 my body like electricity.5bbba7cf9d7dfab4
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First times are always unfamiliar and intensely memorable. But even with things you’ve experienced before, some can feel shockingly new again. Physical contact with another person might be just that. The electricity generated by Minho’s lips numbed me to my fingertips. Goosebumps continued to spread from where his lips touched my neck. I shrank my neck like a turtle, but it had no effect. I didn’t even realize that my mind had gone blank and my movements weren’t under my control. The arms wrapped around my back, restricting my breath. The hand that moved past my shoulder to grip my hair. The solid body like a wall pressed against me. Nothing registered in my mind. My neck was particularly sensitive and ticklish compared to other parts of my body. Even as a child, if someone’s hand touched my neck, I’d jump back as if I were being electrocuted. The discomfort grew even stronger after I became an adult and realized how this area changed. Because I learned that the ticklish sensation from someone’s lips could transform into sexual excitement. Even though it was an experience from ten years ago, my damned body remembered it perfectly. This was worse than remembering how to ride a bike. His lips had only touched my neck, but my whole body reacted. Frozen like concrete, unable to breathe, only my blood boiled like lava. Unlike my tense body, my sensitized skin flushed shamelessly. The heat spread to my face, burning, but I didn’t realize it. Even though the sound of his lips pressing against my neck, sucking at my skin, rang in my ears. I only came to my senses when his wet tongue swept across my neck. I flinched. Another trembling shiver spread throughout my body. At the same time, I pushed hard against his firm arm with my hand.646a23540befd9dc
“Fuck, what are you…”374178dc6cfff307
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The curse came out pathetically small, like a breath. I couldn’t even finish it, but thankfully, Minho pulled back, sparing me from further embarrassment. Tap. He took a step back, his face expressionless as if nothing had happened. I finally took a deep breath and spoke in a clear voice.a7eaa86d2d67929f
“You, what was that?”8fc9db4222d9fa8d
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My voice 05e287e6a5 was cold, ef25ed4aad but I 44ae06069d clenched my 2dc1367c1e fists to affba751eb hide my 7ad440a616 trembling hands. The embarrassment of the 8408e49761 sudden, unprovoked act washed cbe136c60d over me belatedly. A different f101ac2129 kind of bd51ddd422 heat spread a71d833b09 across my 8041b958bc face. As I glared at 4e2f41f52d him to hide my a641e1891a embarrassment, he slowly opened 26cf922c4c his mouth.7ac9ecacd9d2a1ed
“I wanted to receive it too.”945caddef17c10bc
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I was so dumbfounded e25721e0cd that I forgot I e33e573964 had done something similar 3e1d98ee0d just moments ago.ccdc668f287c9e90
“What? My smell? Can’t you tell the difference between a joke and something serious?”348c9fd87f1d1bcc
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I raised my 153d3418ac voice, then stopped, 147bae89b7 realizing I was cedef806d5 the only one 7f89c3503c getting angry. Minho just 3297476b2e looked down 5ba55b97d2 at me e5086a2ba2 with a 7c534acce0 calm expression, 8fa864db5e waiting for b0231bd9b9 me to 5a39ae3b18 speak. It made 83af04909c me wonder eca358d13b if I b7054fe61a was the 43b14ac2bb one in b584417741 the wrong. It felt ridiculous to 416fb1ae94 be getting worked up 9b6207317c on my own, so f826bd0f70 I forced myself to 16a00aa8bc calm down.36c9e107fbfc616c
“Hoo, were you offended by what I did? So you did that to me even worse to get back at me…”0133aa7aa676dc7d
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I hesitated for 1bfa125015 a moment, unable 1ca23165f7 to bring myself c0a52631fd to ask why 4054e540f1 he had kissed 568b3399e8 my neck, and 6565d97504 then added,a2cec388a9f99353
“Did you retaliate with something I told you not to do?”f826790605e0a19e
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Apart from embarrassment, I felt completely like I had been teased. If he had lightly said, “I was joking,” I might have actually punched him. But Minho shook his head seriously, his eyes sincere.7af85b2442c1e598
“No. I wasn’t offended.”d4a8742871dc9e45
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And unlike his 892815e8d2 usual self, he 8226b35273 added hurriedly,03b321d00318afc2
“I liked it.”7adde8c8885beafb
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“……”2d12c36c5d88f7e4
“The smell too, of course.”ef61bffc4cc1f93a
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His tone had become even more curt, and Minho’s eyes were looking elsewhere. But even if he had shouted angrily, I wouldn’t have noticed.f98556089a8a6b03
“But why…”6aaa4731cab3ffdc
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My lips, which had cursed easily in anger a moment ago, wouldn’t open now. The question, “But why did you touch my neck?” echoed in my head, but the intensity of my anger suddenly plummeted. Instead, embarrassment rose to my throat. It wasn’t shameful embarrassment. I wish it had been. Right now, I felt like hiding behind a tree like a little girl, bowing my head. Like an idiot, just because he said, “I liked it.” It was a good thing Minho was still looking away, or I wouldn’t have been able to hide my probably flushed face. Fortunately, by the time Minho turned his gaze back to me, I had managed to compose my expression. I hid my pounding heart and deliberately made my voice cold.1b0ac3f69fcba9ce
“Then what about my neck?”0fb7ec7f05cc3005
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“My neck too.”f3c15d39cc9c30d6
Minho’s eyes scanned down my neck, and he added,abb3fb87530fea7c
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“I liked it.”da290153e42adefc
“That’s not what I meant, why… did you do it?”5ec1c58036e6455e
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As his gaze returned to my neck, the answer became unimportant. I was more concerned about him noticing the heat rising in my face. Thankfully, Minho’s indifferent reply instantly suppressed the embarrassing flush.d44cee633e38b9a5
“Just because. I saw it.”25003f9cfdc9e21e
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“……”0feed3c9feee1151
“……”e62cedb70d4ed8be
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“What?”f6c0ec3276031081
I suddenly snapped back f45bad7325 to reality. I returned to db98316303 my usual self e6659f7239 and opened my 3840d5fdf7 mouth with a a49f3c20fe dumbfounded expression.f63d28f1077864de
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“Why don’t you go hug that pillar over there passionately and gnaw on it with kisses?”887289e79027879f
Instead of 380842ced2 answering, Minho d88de22da3 made something 5cdf0bff10 resembling a 5feccb17e4 smile. His relaxed expression 4840d52e26 made me wonder 09f18426dc if he had 6dfcd5c851 also been tense. He looked at me 4b19687ca1 for a moment, then a9ea3efcb3 returned to his expressionless 5fa9824eb3 face and asked,46f224c23b17d5f6
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“Did you not like it?”74ed350e4455ed32
The problem was that I didn’t dislike it. I should have gotten angry and punched him, but the real problem was that I hadn’t disliked it. Realizing this, my mind went cold. I suddenly wanted to end this conversation, so instead of answering, I changed the subject.99518e90fe681e19
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“Now that you’ve gotten all the smell, we’re good, right?”c44b5b5712c2cfc0
“It wasn’t the smell I wanted.”4856c4a1d59d8150
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“Then what was it?”d9673876156467f5
I asked 5419ab02bd immediately, and 9680c024e4 he slowly 4667b61b65 uttered a 78ed8a16c7 single word.80a15f5b366f6afd
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“Taste.”b4eb4bb6656f65bb
“……”4d44368002018491
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Did I think I was getting used to Minho, when I wasn’t at all? His answer was so absurd that I stared at him blankly. But Minho’s expression became even more serious, so the question “Are you joking?” caught in my throat. From a few experiences, I knew for sure this wasn’t a joke. Finally, after a long while, I asked dejectedly,9792e2d46a539be8
“…So, did I taste good?”b3f69155bf96b121
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I asked 5d6d2b9697 with a b9f7cad8f1 hollow laugh, 84abc38c2a and he 4e8eff5da1 nodded vigorously 0cbb11b5c1 without hesitation.ffd810cc72a502ed
“Yes, very much.”c6be9510ec60deb7
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Lick. Staring at Minho’s closed bedroom door as he went to wash up, I licked my arm. Of course, it didn’t taste like anything. Or rather, it tasted slightly salty. Does Minho usually eat a low-sodium diet, making him sensitive to salty tastes? So that’s why he found me tasty… That couldn’t be it. Surely my neck doesn’t taste different? The thought occurred to me randomly, and then the memory of his lips on my neck resurfaced, so I quickly erased the thought. My throat felt dry, so I opened a bottle of water from the refrigerator and poured the cold water into my mouth. It’s nothing. Just like I hugged him playfully, Minho just did the same back. It’s just that he always has a serious expression, so it’s hard to distinguish between jokes and sincerity, making it awkward. I forced myself to repeat this conclusion. But I knew. That I couldn’t fool myself.26be6e680cd2bcd5
- Did you not like it?
From the moment I couldn’t answer that question, I knew. That I had liked it. My heart pounded, and a thrill warmed my lower abdomen. Could it be that Minho hugged me with other intentions? The exciting delusion also crossed my mind. A delusion mixed with anticipation towards someone. It had been so long since I felt this way that it was difficult to control. I’m such an idiot. Minho might have genuinely just reciprocated my hug, and here I am, getting all worked up by myself. If I let these delusions run wild, how will I ever come back down? I suddenly felt scared. Get a grip. Why am I acting like a schoolgirl holding a boy’s hand for the first time? My throat felt even drier, so I lifted the water bottle to my lips again when I heard a click, the sound of a door opening. I turned my head with the bottle still at my lips and almost choked. Minho, emerging from the open door, had water dripping from his entire body, a towel wrapped only around his lower body. I slowly lowered the water bottle, watching him approach. He was an athlete, so of course, he’d have a good physique, but the body revealed before my eyes was so stunning that I forgot who I was with and lost myself in it. And I was reminded anew that I was gay. Fuck, why am I getting so hot? I deliberately lowered my gaze to hide my embarrassment. I placed the water bottle on the table and focused only on it, but Minho, oblivious to my inner turmoil, stopped right in front of me and held out his hand. The first thing I noticed was the fresh scent of body wash. Was it because the scent was so pleasant? It took me a moment to realize that there was a phone in Minho’s hand. Moreover, the screen was lit up, showing an ongoing call. Why the phone? I asked with my eyes, and he bent his waist slightly, extending the phone closer to me. I deliberately lifted my head further to focus on Minho’s face, trying to avoid looking at his toned upper body.8c9d28a78bef27db
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“Answer it.”419dca43c217627e
Who is it? I was about to 27298339a2 ask when a drop e3d84b510d of water fell from 4b093ba88a his hair onto my da06dfea5a arm, making me flinch 58c37f2c76 and pull back. Minho also quickly 5312d06e0f raised his head f001d87a07 and brushed his 601e86c232 wet bangs back 9f5a18bfab with his other 51946c550e hand. Catching myself following his 945ccb35d7 movements with my eyes, 163895b59b I inwardly cursed again cb5745c233 and took the phone. Damn it, I 88bc103b96 must be having f0563df674 side effects from 11081d0f0b not dating for 08f3b9d6f2 too long. So I spoke 837908ed4d somewhat brusquely into aca0b21706 the receiver.ebaaf7a955099947
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“Hello?”b9fd770d90ad7265
“It’s Kim Yibang.”8108e1142844c3f6
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“……”38819ea6357645e3
I unconsciously pulled 7ac53cea67 the phone away 583a622786 and only then d41f7306d2 properly checked the 49d3580564 name on the 31c1ee62bc screen.19a3100bac942d60
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-Uncle-57b3a346320ade11
The power f0d969b3df of those 10d7d99f3d three letters fa06c3a44a was immense. Even if Minho f47dd30536 were to dance 0a5800a5e6 naked in front db646a020d of me, my 1852f76a43 attention would now 42517f57d1 be completely focused 948e4016cd on the call. Tension filled my body, 4c1e867c6c and as I quickly 3fa3f096c1 put the phone back e7a922aec5 to my ear, a 2f9d09943c question came immediately.3c687c65b4c314cf
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“Are you doing the job I asked you to do?”d253fe973590d61b
What job did you 707e6b9ec3 ask me to do? I wanted to ask f7934ea628 back, but I felt c142fd2338 like a scary scolding d4302bb96b would come back at 9e886b8732 me, so I answered dc12b560dc first.0fced650f2037b09
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“…Yes.”499be2cbe49a1134
“Really?”7e2315f5747d9229
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“…Yes.”27763d61457b4f4a
He must have ba02a078e0 sensed the lack 548011103d of confidence in 921ab47565 my second answer 1098efe009 because there was 3ff68016ba a moment of 5d02258075 silence. A tense a2f2af4c12 moment passed, ec76268d01 and just a2839f1d13 as I 90cea90c50 was about 5a55161883 to apologize 00a5361f3e and ask 11bb0f3155 what the ff862885fd job was, 5816a51f39 his voice ed82706d13 came.3c34684e4ea96761
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“I’m glad to hear you’re taking good care of Minho.”1a9abf4e0d52a69f
Oh, so my job was just to take care of Minho? That’s nothing. I breathed a sigh of relief inwardly. He’s a grown adult, what’s there to take care of?e1f41d7e417e135e
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“As you know, Minho is a bit careless about things he’s not interested in. If you don’t nag him, he’ll even forget to eat and just keep practicing. He’ll even walk around with only a towel wrapped around him after showering without properly drying himself.”aa3529efa7594006
My eyes involuntarily went to the wet carpet beneath Minho’s feet.3cc3cf3d86bad94b
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“In this weather, he can’t catch a cold, so you need to take better care of him. You did a good job, of course, right?”3f0a861ced1421a1
Looking at Minho staring 60325df83c blankly down at me, 1dd4706d2d I answered after a 7aa7ffaad2 long pause.ad1e87fd6a0a917a
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“…Yes.”e6e5a5e78194b17b
“Did you dry his hair thoroughly?”79e5de33b99417f8
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“…Yes.”181a32b65638cfd3
“That’s very good. I was going to hold you responsible if an athlete, whose health is their lifeblood, caught a C.O.L.D., so I’m very glad.”3723aa2a4d3e2b10
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Listening to 11354f0508 his low, 756134e584 grim chuckle, 3d84fad2cf I slowly c099933995 stood up.3f1ea846c569dae0
“Yes, I’m very glad too.”c3b80e045c31324c
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Because he hasn’t caught a cold yet. And as soon as I hung up, I grabbed Minho’s wrist. This guy, he’s not an elementary school student.acf06208984a2a28
“Come with me, quickly.”ec39eaf70ceb729f
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I pulled him along, d65535f992 almost running to his 56739e126c room, the one with 541410d3d5 the large bed.8072a3246b1e1575
The bed really was big. Big enough to momentarily make me forget my mission to dry Minho like a squid. The bed that came into view as soon as I opened the door was truly enormous. Where did they even get a bed like this? Moreover, with red curtains draped around the bedposts, it looked like some Arabian king’s harem. But the admiration was short-lived. I sat Minho down on the bed and quickly grabbed a few towels from the bathroom. He just sat there, still dripping water, blinking at me. I threw a towel at his chest and held the others in my hand.8c8365bea71bbca2
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“Dry yourself quickly.”b004376a1d941272
I ordered, and standing 120dc0e39b in front of him ec63c9c7c1 with the towels in ecd0a96da2 my hand, I started acf8c14757 vigorously rubbing his hair.8d2f208f0578903a
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“Hey, what are you going to do if you catch a cold walking around without drying yourself? Don’t you know you catch colds more easily in the fall because of the temperature difference? You’re an athlete, you have to take care of your own body!”a26828869d98662a
What kind of scolding 5ca7181683 would I get if 0c874d7318 you caught a cold! Ignoring his 80044b935a shaking head, a84b6f3baf I rubbed 4cc5f664b6 frantically with 05b60ecb2e the towel.636e76529183ac61
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“And the water dripping is making the floor wet. What if you slip and fall on the bare floor without carpet because it’s wet? It’s not even a wooden floor, it’s marble, so if you fall, you’ll break the floor and your head. Do you want to end up in the newspaper with a headline saying ‘Died from falling on the floor after a shower because he didn’t dry himself’?”6a5da813a426c215
The next headline would surely be, “Assistant Lee, who failed to properly nag him, sued by Mr. Kim Yibang.” And he doesn’t even eat unless someone tells him to. It’s a good thing I called his name earlier. After chattering for a while and muttering to myself, diligently rubbing his hair, Minho just sat quietly without a word. Is he sleeping? My arms were starting to ache, so I stopped drying and lowered the towel. The face beneath his tousled hair really had its eyes closed.c98dbff59ced12c3
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“Are you sleeping…”e212278961986cb6
I couldn’t finish the sentence. Minho, slowly opening his eyes and looking up at me, had a faint smile on his face. I don’t know why that sight took my breath away. Maybe it was because of his childlike expression, unguardedly revealing himself. A warning I hadn’t felt when I was conscious of Minho’s body spread through me like black smoke. Step back. And my body actually took a step back. As I moved away, the faint smile disappeared from Minho’s face. My face probably became just as expressionless. I stared at him as our eyes met, and I spoke first. I don’t know why this question suddenly came out of me.f201740eab4aca2b
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“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”4d503cc01d16348e
After a moment, which 9d27ec2d67 felt particularly long even 947ed3da30 for his usual slow fd997b1b19 pace, the answer came.f2bc657b13e900d9
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“I’m not popular.”50e738640161a1b9
“You? That can’t be true. You’re such a famous golfer.”f651f43ddeeafe53
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“Seeing someone from afar and seeing them up close are different.”82ae20f6f4a4b0f9
Did he mean a438dd86f5 that people would b3551a4768 be disappointed if 72c5163468 they approached him 78d4a48412 based only on 06cf4d99f2 his fame? As I was 03b0e96c4e thinking, his indifferent 19629be82f voice came.5c6ac38119bfa51d
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“Everyone says so. They say I’m boring and dull.”0a321da32e68120f
“What are you talking about? You’re so much fun.”f8ab89efdbeafa32
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He may have many jokes that don’t quite land, but he made me laugh all day with Mr. Thomas.55cb8e6286f72ba5
“You were really funny.”a30b4c402ab9055d
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I still sometimes giggle 0c85325747 to myself while looking a0621bb562 at my bedroom wall.ad0b95927e8bad58
“Thank you.”682986c3c2ac8beb
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“So, is that why you don’t have a boyfriend?”1719592ab0215c16
“No. I’ve rejected everyone too.”29da7789c1dbd3c1
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“To focus on golf?”b8836bcce925d9f2
I expected him to say “yes,” but unexpectedly, Minho twisted one side of his lips upwards. I was about to ask what that smile meant, but he changed the subject first.99d93f0ca80d2a4b
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“You’re the second person to tell me I’m funny.”adc950c2fddd4d52
“Who was the first?”92d04db2004f764a
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“My uncle.”bba250a43bc455d0
“……”7772e5d80f1c7abe
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“But my uncle doesn’t like jokes very much.”d574e8d54c32169c
Right. Listening to Minho, I thought it would be problematic even if they did like him. But it was a bit of a shock to me that Minho thought he wasn’t popular. Boring and dull. No, he’s quiet and slow, but that’s often more comfortable.9d1ea0d84092aecb
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“To me, you’re not boring at all. So there must be others besides me…”dd6d190687027660
I couldn’t finish the sentence that was supposed to be comforting. I just didn’t want to say it. But no other words came to mind, so I had to look towards the door and mumble,6366e6e6924339bd
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“Oh, I need to make a call about work.”6d2e1d74b7c6937c
I tossed 16d8fd9493 the towel 9258d52be6 in my 3883a87281 hand to dc50f036d9 him.e78ea5195246a724
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“Dry your hair yourself.”0744535d9107a6c8
And as 3d2e04b4a7 I turned, 5ba1d48433 he called d38650c059 me. Turning back as I 6cf8595896 approached the door, he 11e9a8d84f stood up from his f6b956c574 seat and slowly opened a3e721d80a his mouth.9a534bc4b0a9ff29
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“I have something important to tell you after dinner.”fec0940ade5ed97b
Something important. Knowing Minho’s personality, he wouldn’t use that phrase lightly. What does he want to talk about? Like when I was drinking water, I suppressed the inexplicable flutter in my chest. What are you expecting, Lee Seoin? And without thinking, I picked up my phone from the table. Of course, calling about work was an excuse. But while I was away, there were two missed calls and a few messages on my phone. There really was something to call about now. The callers were Sungsu and my younger sister. Sungsu was one thing, but it had been so long since I heard from my sister that I immediately pressed the call button. Did something happen at home? Worried, I asked as soon as I heard my sister’s voice.399b1667f313639d
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“Is Dad okay?”17c34e36be5b172a
[Yeah.]
Phew, that’s a relief. I let out a big sigh of relief, and my sister, who had been distant for years, briefly stated her reason for calling.53a597fe7281f00e
[I’m going up to Seoul on Tuesday. Are you free?]
“What’s it about?”0468519fef7b697b
[Just… I’ll tell you when I get there.]
Judging by her light tone, it didn’t seem like a big deal, so I made a tentative plan and ended the call. It’s probably nothing, I thought, and called Sungsu next. After a few rings, Sungsu’s voice answered.3d3073056956e4f6
[Seoin, I’m sorry, Dongho isn’t sober yet, so I couldn’t confirm.]
“Confirm what? What are you sorry about?”347bea1fd8960cdf
[Huh? Didn’t you call after seeing the message?]
Oh, there was a message too. I told him I hadn’t seen it and asked him what was going on again. Sungsu’s rapid voice came through the receiver.bcf3cae21bf9437f
[I brought Dongho back after he passed out at the bar, at his mom’s request. But Dongho’s saying strange things. That Mooyoung is seriously planning to get Minho. So I thought I should tell you, since you seem to be in contact with Minho, to be careful.]
Minho already knows about this, so I don’t need to get involved, right? As I was thinking this, Sungsu’s worried voice continued.f0f5296b54c4924f
[Drunk Dongho said there’s proof that Minho hasn’t forgotten Mooyoung for ten years.]
It was during a summer vacation in elementary school. My father’s work was busiest during the summer, so we never went on a family trip during summer vacation. But that year, he somehow managed to get vacation time, and we decided to go to the beach. For the week leading up to the trip, I could barely sleep. Even when I lay down to sleep, I’d get up to check if the tube had a leak, and even when I was playing outside, I’d come home early, anxious that my father’s vacation might have been moved up. My parents must have known how excited I was for that week. On the day of the trip, my father said he’d follow later, so my mother, sister, and I took the bus first. I remember having a lot of fun on the first day, even without my father. I got so sunburned on the first day that my skin was peeling by the next. Even though my skin stung, I was excited. A tanned body was a trophy from the trip. Something I’d always envied when I went back to school after breaks. I can finally brag about going to the beach. This thought made everything exciting. Even my younger sister, who was usually annoying, became my best friend. We ran around the beach as if we were going to turn over every grain of sand. My father didn’t come that day either, but my mother said casually, “He’ll come tomorrow,” so I didn’t think much of it. Only when we were about to go back home on the last day of the trip did I realize that my father wasn’t coming after all. He couldn’t come from the beginning, but he hadn’t told us. He probably didn’t want to disappoint us, as we were so excited about the trip. He’ll come soon, he’ll come tomorrow, he’ll be here any minute. He reassured us with these words for two nights and three days. Actually, the reason I was happy about the trip was that the whole family was going together. So, if I had heard beforehand that my father couldn’t go, I wouldn’t have had as much fun. I won’t be able to have this kind of experience again. Because I’m no longer a naive elementary school student who falls for lies. My older, more cynical mind senses hidden truths and becomes anxious beforehand. But now, I wanted to pretend I didn’t know anything, cover it all up, and maintain the happy feeling. After Sungsu’s call, I realized how childishly excited I had been since arriving here. Mooyoung’s name, mentioned by Sungsu, sounded like the news that my father wasn’t coming. I was afraid that it might be connected to the important thing Minho wanted to tell me. I felt like the past, where I was miserably defeated by Mooyoung, would repeat itself. I know how cowardly this is. That covering my ears is even more pathetic. But even though I knew this trip wasn’t fun anymore, I still felt a lingering attachment. I wanted to feel the picnic-like atmosphere a little longer in this unfamiliar place, undisturbed. So, as I left the room, I hoped I wouldn’t hear the important thing Minho wanted to say here. Because it felt like Mooyoung’s name would come up again no matter what.2b2b8db4706dcf4b
Because the balcony faced 1c1eca65c2 the ocean, the wind fc86888894 carried the sound of fc49ce219f the waves and the a1bcfa41a6 smell of the sea. It was d94a117689 chilly because 4f995574ae it was 73816f1a8b nighttime, but 146b04842b Minho, unfazed 5c0d7a6531 by the 712ba3a1b1 cold, was 506297b6db staring blankly 95127a76a5 at the 935af9171e table in 5066061bf3 his short e10fee6174 sleeves.bf9f78640c695477
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Creak.ac56272a85769285
I pulled c013ed72e7 out a 7e5ed9bad8 chair and db80da834d sat down, ce6fb8c9a2 and only 134003c1d6 then did 1f30c7eb78 he seem b560163430 to notice df5435b206 and look ee9af61cdd up. I placed ca765e3917 the beer e130cb21af I had e1df01a3af brought with 41491c3f9d the intention fe94847eb2 of lightening ed8048c975 the mood 3c66e28a78 and spoke a69dfc3975 first.f20ecbffa797b974
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“You said you had something to tell me, right?”6f99632a30d0dac6
Nod.7155912bde12f731
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“…Does it have to be now?”b962c5e7e230e3f6
“Why?”215dc4ffb4c95a61
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Because I b96c27295e wanted to 332bd3096d hold onto bbe04d3c23 the pleasant 343ef51405 feeling a db6b0decb5 little longer. Of course, I swallowed aa79c00e9b the rest of the acc9961e8c sentence and just shrugged.b2a2c40ad549d781
“The scenery is nice. I thought we could just have a relaxing conversation today.”eb6c877252be8893
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The scenery was barely 00470caa83 visible because it was e42b7df19e dark. But perhaps bf58f4f523 my excuse 1aacc34488 worked, as b80aa5f807 Minho proposed 76fea12bb5 a compromise.aeb25a795371d741
“Then let’s have a relaxing conversation first.”dd5828004e4dee1d
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Let’s just have a relaxing conversation the whole time. I swallowed the words that were about to come out and picked up a beer. Psssh~ The cool sound of the can opening rose with the scent of beer. I took a sip, and surprisingly, Minho spoke first.d3710c3ed593d3e7
“Do you like your current job?”dbec28b998cb1b03
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“Designing? I like it. Fortunately.”d28fd6cc2fdce164
If I didn’t like it, I wouldn’t be able to continue this difficult work. Unlike my initial ambition to build magnificent buildings, even though I always end up doing similar, cookie-cutter designs, I still have a dream.f56552456d0c7f01
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“I’m very interested in residential housing. Later, when I make a lot of money, I want to build the four-unit housing complex I’ve been thinking about.”c5c4efd93fbd54fb
“Like a villa?”44eec0589e43fb29
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“No, each unit is detached, but the four houses are connected… Wait a minute.”6eca8ce5201a4510
I stood up d9780f8841 and brought the c50f89af21 notepad and pen 0a1ab33d73 I had seen 9dfb987472 in the living c89ee987b1 room. And under the dim 8998a488d5 lighting, I quickly sketched e010995c5e lines on the notepad. I had never 322422d9aa shown this to f5e1f0d313 anyone before, but 40ebb88dfa perhaps the alcohol 291f72671d gave me courage.b75ca86411e89bb0
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“Like this, four houses. This way, you can have a shared solar power or alternative fuel storage in the empty space in the middle, and the rest of the land can be used for a garden or parking lot. Since the four houses share it, the burden of expensive alternative fuel facilities is reduced. And you build a fence around it, making it a four-house unit.”dd5eded8a92403a8
Drawing it by hand f9883da257 made it look rough 1b9b7799bd compared to computer work, 1097a84568 but Minho listened and 5f8782bc71 watched attentively.b8924f0d1b522c2d
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“It’s an ‘ㄹ’ town.”32869c763cade51a
Now that he mentioned it, it did resemble the Korean letter ‘ㄹ’. I nodded with a smile.2c3097a2bb608494
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“Yeah, ‘ㄹ’ town is good too.”2bc11da8bb8494b9
But the smile didn’t last long.1ae4f151d0b64dea
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“Who lives there?”2cf52600acd060a8
“…People.”fed6adbcd9a4b7d3
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“What are their names?”106f591119027e36
There aren’t any names. I barely managed to hold back the words that were about to come out because of his eyes, staring so seriously at my doodle. I blurted out whatever came to mind.cdb9e2a5be626f2b
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“…Gap, Eul, Byung, Jung.” (First, Second, Third, Fourth)afdb86def9aa77b3
“They all have one-syllable names.”6c8bb238626c9b4d
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“……”e807973829dcf4bf
I suddenly dc671308d9 lost interest 74283cb93b in designing 8f2ab53462 a Rieul 845c321883 village inhabited 3400474a18 only by d2b3233676 people with ce586682af one-syllable names. I was about 0c87fe5e34 to throw away 18e2f97f5c the doodled paper 715e6b459a when Minho quickly f4ecc493c6 snatched it and 826c744d76 said,a2f39507bededd25
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“I’ll take care of this.”21f561a7bb29b664
Go ahead, cb90fe53de I said, 75bb791078 and gulped e73360d7dc down my 1f5920ba1e beer, my 00a4e91145 throat dry, 121698378b and asked, 8f9e0c1b0b trying to 25125412ab change the 0246189c5f subject,9b7a5cd494aded1a
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“Don’t you have anything else you’re curious about?”24709239281435a3
Minho stared at cae730de76 the paper, carefully 20499cfa96 folded it, put 3d25cbf75e it in his 0d79dd2ed0 pocket, and then e5091ef421 looked up.e8a7f54b5a349fd4
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“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”df0e315786b4fe12
I stopped a04f222c4f as I b687ae7279 was about 5340bdaa1a to take 7bf1249f5f the beer 1ba66e4f62 can away d0c7525f5d from my e93b9b3b91 mouth and f7dc08fa00 turned around. Yes, what a f06ceeaf03 comfortable topic. But since I 46f301a74c had asked him f590abbded the same question ade4931f3f while drying his 84c840b00c hair, I answered 6e3760adcb honestly.352fa6fe11f32938
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“I haven’t met anyone I like. But you, with your popularity, must have had tons of offers. You held out well.”9275d18111bbfb87
“It’s easy to reject them. None of them were sincere.”e6033669ede1c80e
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“……”1c3affb2d625abd2
“What about you?”20b8d02a2897adc3
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“Offers? I had plenty.”7b6cb96081012b39
My easy answer wasn’t just to brag. It was because, in a way, I was similar to Minho. Most of the people who approached me were casual. What they wanted was a light, uncomplicated relationship. Deep love is rare from the beginning, so maybe starting with a casual relationship is the right way to go. But…f9e18b27f9f9b617
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“I haven’t met anyone who made me feel like I could fall hopelessly in love. So I never even started anything.”60f65dac015d35e0
If I said this, everyone would say, “Of course.” Who starts a relationship with that feeling from the beginning? I know. I’m also on the side that believes that kind of love doesn’t exist. Still, I can’t help but set impossible standards for myself. Because the relationships I have can never be casual. They have to be serious. That’s the only way I can feel even a little bit justified. This might be the minimum courtesy I can offer to the family I ruined. But it seems my words were misunderstood by Minho. Instead of blaming my standards, which seemed like a girlish fantasy, he connected it to the events of ten years ago.f77d31409b741532
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“Is it because of Kwon Gitae?”79759432e191f198
“What? No. That bastard…”5705d4905e38d4f7
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It feels like I’m observing it from a distance now. I was about to turn around to answer when I hesitated, seeing his dark eyes. Does Minho still remember what happened ten years ago as if it were yesterday? Seeing his cold reaction to Gitae made my chest feel tight. It seemed like Mooyoung, who inevitably gets involved, would also hold the same meaning for him as ten years ago. Sungsu’s call came to mind, so I mumbled, trying to change the subject.6594f0f74f2c9ff2
“It’s not because of Gitae. I just… don’t want to date just anyone.”5f766d85a6924539
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“……”1c479cd56c8139d0
“Really. I feel wronged, actually.”3ae94759493c55b4
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I picked 81c46fbf1c up my 2425219b28 beer and 627c525af7 chuckled.8ef450378210de2e
“In the end, the only person I’ve ever dated in my life is that bastard, so sometimes I get so frustrated that I think about just sleeping with anyone…”0da2380676127c8e
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“Did you?”a8a543c644492a42
The question 596a31a724 sounded quite 3292334877 sharp, so 201294f5b5 I stopped fd44735e8d with the ceeda08e56 beer halfway 17a6d60bad to my 0aa4b8c65f mouth.36e91b7b7d1bcab3
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“As if. All I have is my damn high pride.”46efc7868fcea217
Who are you kidding? Don’t get too cocky just because you have a pretty face. That’s what I often heard when I rejected the guys who hit on me. I also heard a lot of curses about how I’d regret it when I became a wrinkled old man.6bd6063a4cdc00c0
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“That’s why I need to be madly in love with someone. So much in love that I can’t even control this high pride of mine.”99142d086524b2ae
After muttering these words, I realized anew that relationships seemed impossible now. I was more worried about getting tired and just sleeping with anyone…c1bfdba0deae5bcb
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“If the other person is madly…”a89c0762b14de98b
I put down the a6989a46e5 beer I had taken 957b6d3e6d a sip of and 4477b6d4b3 turned around. Minho continued, a57a44ee2e his face 3b0680e6b9 expressionless.263da3eba788b8bc
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“In love with you, Seoin-hyung?”a8a8b431e4084e3a
“That’s their feeling.”077bbb9f76c61f45
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“……”2125b994b4465f02
“If I don’t like them back, they’re just a nuisance. Especially the guys who just keep pushing without considering my feelings, I really want to beat them up.”ab2fa87a93cf03a8
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Periodically, every few 701dd26c6c years, those kinds 7b660fb623 of people appear. Because they 68e656a619 believe that 8f199c2f22 if they e7dccef6ac keep expressing a56500b51d their feelings e1087acebe and confessing, f68adfb0c0 the other 5e1a290d51 person will 6674181b99 eventually come 50b82e60ee around, I 7ffc28d67b have to c137e585c3 reject them e4b17df407 coldly. In the 6e222802ae end, I 2b3fd4c9aa end up 73586a2e6f hearing all ff6284dd3f sorts of 9fd3cf57f6 insults from 210718983b them. The thought 36cbcd0ca8 made me 071695dc49 angry, so 28fde81c35 I gulped ba011714bf down my 8dcd11d3b5 beer.9519cfd9418984f9
“Damn it, why do I have to understand their feelings of being madly in love? If they like me that much, they should prioritize my feelings. But those guys who claim to be madly in love are all about their own love. They want their love returned as is. But if they want to do that, shouldn’t they at least try to make me like them a little before confessing?”95d43de053b102bd
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I added a low c926cc395e sigh and turned around, a35e44b66d but Minho was lost 1b2eb9399c in thought, his gaze e7bfcef2be fixed on the table. I wondered 9e7e316c28 if I e2097d5798 had been 05f8dfb8c7 too harsh, 5b4ee1bafa so I a3e7d29eae added,83d40fe62f8b630c
“Of course, it’s different if I have some level of interest in the other person.”47e0f417a21a23b4
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At my words, 9970507d11 he raised his e8e7b25761 eyes, his usual d60b1261e7 gaze, but his c73f9c1bfd voice sounded somehow 112d57fccf stiff.53daa3190290b856
“I understand.”834b12d92be1afa5
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Because of that, I felt like I had made a mistake. But I hadn’t said anything particularly strange. I quietly drank my beer while he was silent. Before, I felt comfortable being with Minho without saying anything, but now I was conscious of him sitting across the table. After finishing a can of beer, I glanced at him, and he was looking up at the sky.eafad916a5993373
“You can see them pretty well here.”dce74edd2f5c7565
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I followed his b0e5860bc7 gaze up at 4bc81309c2 the sky, and 5419609886 I remembered what b7a1f1dd82 he had said 3af189399a on the plane.ef2d785202de5ac6
‘Stars.’3dcbfa7a236e46b5
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Perhaps because of this, the silence, which felt like he was waiting for me to speak first, wasn’t uncomfortable. Perhaps it was because I realized what he wanted to hear.6e2650ae506a758f
“Still, it’s not as good as ten years ago.”a077c3c4db37c0ff
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I felt like the face in the darkness was smiling. The tension eased, and my thoughts quickly drifted to the past. Stars. Right. The stars back then were more brilliant, and chilling. My heart was in tatters from misery and anger, and my emotions were as dry as a desert. Minho and I were both too messed up to comfort each other, but during that short time we looked up at the sky, everything was still. Thinking about it now, it was a respite I hadn’t felt for years afterward. While everything else from the past is hazy, the feeling from that moment is still vivid, like a clear photograph. I don’t think I would have remembered it so clearly if I had been alone. Because there was another victim beside me, making my situation clearer, the peace of that moment was imprinted on me. Minho must feel the same way. I lowered my head when my neck started to hurt, and Minho was staring at me. I mumbled, thinking that he had looked at me first back then too.b686830dfcfb6c4d
“It feels like I’m seeing you for the first time in ten years.”ab1107bef1f9e311
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I hadn’t had any reason to look up at the sky since then. You can’t see stars in Seoul.2205fe1bd9c8539b
“America is vast, so there must be many places where you can see stars, right?”2e668b4a72a7c204
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“Yes,” came the immediate reply, so I opened my mouth, sounding curious.33d36b816e04a768
“You must have seen stars often in America.”13fed188195e9d77
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He slowly nodded, 45861ec0c5 then glanced up 5a709a977f at the sky 7fed8701af and replied.157a2fca3334a248
“Every day.”699ed0ecf0e6cef1
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“Every day?”9b8cdea7160f5109
Surprised by the unexpected answer, I asked again, and Minho lowered his eyes. He stared at the empty air for a moment, muttering “It became a habit,” and then added, looking at me,80d58843650c725c
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“I had to endure.”20c6f317879f4f22
His slow voice sounded light, but inside me, it sank heavily like a waterlogged cotton ball. His words about having many enemies came to mind. And I finally asked the question I should have asked when we first met. The question I hadn’t asked because I thought it was obvious, seeing his face so often on TV.778c941139002537
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“How have you been all this time?”659998bb2a7389c2
He only started appearing on TV after becoming successful two or three years ago. So, all I know is his success. Of course, I didn’t think he achieved it easily, but I couldn’t imagine how much he struggled either. Minho blinked, staring into space, as if unsure how to explain. In moments like these, he looked like his old innocent self, and I almost smiled. What stopped me was the memory of the people he referred to as enemies. The people who saw him as an ignorant gay.b18a3ca7512e57c4
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“Did you suffer a lot of disadvantages because you’re gay?”0283aa5f5ada2509
I felt a bit foolish for asking the question after I had spoken it. I had suffered disadvantages because I’m gay, so it was an unnecessary question. While berating myself, I added defensively,6a9938141682318c
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“America is relatively accepting of gays, isn’t it? There’s no prejudice.”20bebff82722dea5
“On the surface.”2ba049329c82a4bc
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Then, as if organizing 2e1399baf8 his thoughts, Minho paused 0cde6b994e for a few seconds 0068b44993 and slowly opened his 036b061570 mouth.9f96f14f135a2239
“Conservative aspects aren’t readily apparent.”40544108eb9375b6
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He looked at me 358bc3b841 and briefly explained.af6ded06e079128a
“Especially in golf.”82bafb1b7929d1af
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Conservative. I suddenly remembered reading 0c0f77af20 an article about how 7883f18849 the scarcity of black 1308393596 golfers in golf was 26c896fb51 not only due to e5c4e9ca70 financial reasons but also 08102a66be because of the high 7a6efbe898 conservative barriers.a30ced1b4c75b39f
“As an Asian and gay, I’m not a welcome presence.”c449a2745bbc7657
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“Playing golf together?”9a90a07546917e83
“No,” Minho shook his head.0f40f3e0660aec9b
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“Winning.”f8dcc5b877bfa7fb
“……”308179b43e0d1447
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“They might tolerate it once or twice, but anything more than that is unpleasant, so there are still many clubs and gatherings I’m not allowed to enter.”6faa943ed61fb3d1
What the hell? Anger surged through me, but I couldn’t get angry at Minho’s nonchalant tone.c13712467c538788
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“Take care of yourself, but try to ignore those people as much as possible.”3a7998c663371377
I told him the best method I had learned, but Minho’s reaction was different.56977dbee3495fde
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“Later.”682abe736784de1b
Later? I asked back, and 1a76fcf95e he answered easily, as 13d1d8abcb if it were obvious.7f444d5f38333d94
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“After I crush them.”46c9ab9cec2c5d2d
His face as he spoke was expressionless, but peaceful. No matter how many times I saw it, it was unfamiliar. The foundation of Minho I perceived was that of an innocent baseball boy. So, frankly, his words about casually classifying and crushing enemies were confusing. Because it was outside the scope of how I perceived him. Perhaps thinking I didn’t react because I didn’t understand, Minho explained with slightly flustered eyes.247e9a46722c9326
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“I’m not trying to fight them.”8548707039b2c267
“I know.”f59c8ca4ed1344eb
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It must be a metaphorical expression. Perhaps he meant becoming so good that they wouldn’t be able to see him as just an Asian or gay. What an incredible competitive spirit. Even more surprising was that he didn’t seem pressured to win. An indifferent expression as if winning was a given. If I delved a little deeper, it felt like another side of him I didn’t know would appear. Because of this, a slight chill ran through me. Then his voice came, and I looked up.fa23bdc9bb281597
“What about you?”33266de0b9f9f607
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Me? I looked at him questioningly, and he returned the question I had asked. How have I been? Me…c4cdffe4ff02dbf4
“Ordinary. I was discharged, went back to school, graduated, got a job…”31ffd7b20c4deada
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The time a869110800 when I f431548352 was fired 88d887f09c from my 513e3147ce company after 1d5c5abe1b being outed 17d23a64a7 and my d083db8b7d father collapsed 7dfccf5fb7 came to 2819a85fde mind, and d00c14c6f4 my voice b33aeac1f9 trailed off. I paused for 6d7f87a20a a moment, but 4c5ede51be Minho seemed to f59b6b209d be patiently waiting 087b05c1c3 for me to 2be3b77125 continue, so I 12ebb291b6 just shrugged.e130474f6449d59f
“I went through some tough times, but it’s nothing worth bragging about.”c1051598ac4ac8a9
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The problem was that the misfortunes that happen once or twice in a lifetime all came at once. Back then, I was so overwhelmed by the string of unfortunate events that I couldn’t think straight.5b0b3520df279636
“Just because it’s not extraordinary doesn’t mean it hurts any less.”a35121f0a709f57e
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Minho’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts, and I smiled faintly.d48ac67f2bd89129
“That’s true. Sometimes you endure big things well, but crumble at small things.”a235900c13476e84
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I muttered, remembering the time I was running around trying to find a job. My father collapsed from the shock of losing all his money after being tricked by a friend into investing in land. Out of the blue, a notice of seizure arrived at our house, and even though my longtime friend was unreachable, my father didn’t seem to believe he had been scammed. In the end, the friend never appeared, and only after the court ruled that we had to hand over our house did he seem to grasp reality. Our family suddenly had nowhere to live. My father was hospitalized in serious condition, and I was unemployed. I went home after a few years, and my sister stopped me at the door. I still remember her cold voice.4e61878c86ac6681
‘After you left, saying only what you wanted to say, everyone was a mess. Dad drank every day, and Mom just cried in your room. No one in this house has smiled since you left. Do you know why Dad got scammed? Because he didn’t have money… because he was powerless to get you out of the military… He was heartbroken, saying that you left home because you looked down on him and thought he was pathetic… He was trying to save money. Even though you’re a son who only cares about his own pride and never bows his head, he thought you might be grateful if he saved money and set up a design office for you. So get out. I don’t want to see you, so get out.’e332203dc9ad9f3e
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