SHLF Ch 3

“I’ll definitely buy you some bread.”

But because issues kept arising one after another, the director’s mood worsened, and I ended up having bread for lunch as well. Due to the tense atmosphere in the office, I was contemplating using the on-site work as an excuse to leave in the afternoon when a female employee, putting a call on hold, called me.

“Assistant Manager Yang is looking for you. He said it’s about a project request, but you’re not answering your phone.”

Considering the current situation, he probably didn’t even have the time to eat bread, let alone answer his phone. “Transfer the call to me,” I shouted and picked up the receiver.

“Hello, this is architect Lee Seoin.”

I greeted him habitually and added softly to the person on the other end of the line, who might become a client,

“Assistant Manager Yang is currently unavailable due to work, but if you’d like, I can help you.”

「…….」

“Do you have an appointment with Assistant Manager Yang?”

「…….」

“Hello?”

I kept waiting for an answer, but there was no sound. I wondered if the call had been disconnected, so I lifted the receiver slightly and asked again,

“If you could tell me your name…”

「This is Kwon Gitae.」

This time, I was the one who fell silent. Speechless would be a more accurate description. The moment his low voice flowed into my ears, my heart turned to stone and froze. I was so flustered that I didn’t know what to do. I forgot to breathe, forgot I was at work, and forgot that 10 years had passed. I couldn’t react at all and let a few seconds, which felt like hours, slip by. If someone hadn’t nudged me, I might have stayed frozen like that for hours. But instead of someone touching me, his voice spread through the receiver.

「Seoin.」

“…….”

His voice definitely had an effect. As soon as I heard my name, goosebumps spread all over my body. I had reassured myself that the can of emotions, sealed tightly, was past its expiration date and now useless. But to my chagrin, my body wouldn’t listen. The fact that I had let him speak next.

「……I missed you.」

The receiver in my right hand felt as heavy as a hundred-kilogram lump of iron. Moving my arm was so difficult that my hand trembled, but when I came to my senses, the sound told me what had happened.

Slam.

Looking at the receiver, now back in its place, two feelings mingled chaotically: bewilderment and the shame of not having said anything. The thought that I was the same child as 10 years ago, only running away, made me bite my lip. The only thing I had done right was to hang up, even though it was difficult. I muttered involuntarily, remembering his last words. Damn it…….

“What the hell?”

Being scolded by my boss, having bread for lunch, hearing nonsense about being missed from the boyfriend who betrayed me 10 years ago, and on top of that, it was Wednesday, the day of the week that felt the furthest from quitting time. Coupled with the mental fatigue of knowing how many days were left until the weekend, my mood had hit rock bottom by the end of the workday. So, as I was about to get up to go home, Seongsu called, and I suggested first,

「I wanted to thank you. Thanks for coming to the funeral, and I’m really sorry about Dongho too. Um, let me know when you’re free. I’ll buy you a drink…」

“How about today?”

I realized it wasn’t something I should suggest to someone who had just held a funeral, but it was already too late. But contrary to my expectation that he would refuse, he welcomed the idea.

「Perfect. Actually, I had something to tell you too. How about that same bar?」

I wondered if it was okay for him to meet up when he must be so busy after the funeral, but seeing his still-haggard face made me more certain. I should just send him home. Instead of greeting him, I asked Seongsu, who was sitting listlessly, staring blankly at the floor,

“Are you okay?”

He was startled by my voice and looked up.

“Oh? You came. Have a seat.”

“You don’t look well. Wouldn’t it be better to go home?”

I suggested cautiously, but he unexpectedly shook his head firmly.

“No, don’t worry. I’m really okay.”

I found his strong reaction a bit strange, but I ordered anyway. I offered some words of comfort, we chatted for a bit, and then the conversation shifted to Dongho from the funeral home.

“I was really grateful that day. Dongho…even though he doesn’t receive help now, he owes a lot to that family. Um, it’s hard to treat him harshly, there’s a sense of obligation. I heard he’s been drowning his sorrows in alcohol since his family went bankrupt, but sigh…I didn’t know he had fallen apart so much. Before, maybe because he wanted to show off that he was from a good family, he was always polite and well-mannered.”

I remembered Dongho, who couldn’t even stand properly because he was so drunk that day. It was fortunate that he hadn’t spouted nonsense about Seongsu’s family being his servants at the funeral home.

“He was drunk and caused a scene, saying that the servants weren’t serving their master, it was quite embarrassing.”

“…….”

It’s not that it’s hard to treat him harshly, you should have just beaten him up. I wanted to criticize him for not understanding their relationship, but instead, I emptied my shot glass. What did it matter? It wasn’t something I would be involved in anymore. Without much thought, I drew a line with Seongsu internally, but he talked about me with concern.

“Actually, someone came looking for me, asking about you.”

“…….”

“Um. It’s…”

“Mooyoung?”

I blurted it out casually, and he widened his eyes as if surprised.

“How did you know? Mooyoung…did you meet Mooyoung?”

Yeah, I nodded and picked out a piece of meat that was burning black with my chopsticks.

“I drove Dongho’s car that day. He asked for his home address, but it turned out to be a bar. I went inside to look for him and ran into Mooyoung.”

“Ah…I’m sorry.”

I told him it was okay and offered him my empty glass. He poured me a drink with a troubled expression and glanced at me.

“I thought it was a little strange that he suddenly came looking for me and asked about you.”

“What did he say?”

“Just asking what you’re up to these days, how I happened to meet you, and…”

His paused words felt strange, so I stopped eating. As I stared at him, urging him to continue, Seongsu opened his mouth with difficulty.

“He asked if you had shown any interest in Gitae or asked about him.”

My lips curved into a smile involuntarily. What kind of idiot is he? Did he really care about what I said back then? My words after 10 years? His grand love, which had even made me feel defeated back then, now just seemed ridiculous. I let out a hollow laugh in disbelief, and Seongsu quickly added,

“I told him absolutely not. I couldn’t believe it myself. But he didn’t seem to believe me, even after I said so. Now that Gitae is back in Korea and doing well at his father’s company, he suspects that you’re after him.”

Listening to him, I felt nothing but annoyance.

“Is Mooyoung the one Gitae married? Why is he bothering to monitor and keep tabs on his ex from 10 years ago?”

I couldn’t understand Mooyoung’s thinking at all. But Seongsu closed his lips with an “Um” and spoke cautiously.

“I heard this from Dongho when he was drunk, so it might not be true…but it seems Mooyoung only properly reconnected with Gitae last year when Gitae returned to Korea. Actually, Gitae left for abroad right after he was discharged from the hospital 10 years ago. His father probably forced him to go. But Mooyoung followed him immediately. I remember Mooyoung was so excited, bragging about how he was going to live in the same apartment building as Gitae. But he came back to Korea after a few months. He said he didn’t like the school he was planning to attend, but according to Dongho, Gitae got a local boyfriend, and they fought and Mooyoung came back. He went back to where Gitae was a few more times after that, but each time, he came back after a month or two. I’ve always felt this way, but Mooyoung always got whoever he wanted, right? But since he can’t have Gitae, he seems to be even more obsessed. It’s a bit…pathetic, isn’t it?”

“Not really.”

A cold rebuttal came out of my mouth easily. My expression must have been cold too, as Seongsu looked at me cautiously with an “Did I say something wrong?” expression. Honestly, I didn’t think he was wrong. Mooyoung’s love was indeed somewhat pathetic. But he was selfish. In the end, he prioritized his own feelings and hurt others. Besides, that patheticness…

“Serves him right.”

As I filled Seongsu’s empty glass, I quoted something a female employee at the office had once said.

“He made his own bed.”

Seongsu smiled and raised his glass, as if amused by my words. I had chuckled when the employee had emphasized those words as a life lesson. But now, they might be the most important words for me. I was annoyed and dumbfounded by Gitae’s call during the day, but a part of me had also fluttered slightly. Perhaps because my resentment for his betrayal had faded, or perhaps because I felt a sense of superiority at hearing his voice and the words “I missed you” after 10 years. See, he still misses me after 10 years. I felt smug, but it was a truly useless thought. Listening to Seongsu’s story, I chided myself for having such thoughts. Get a grip, the reason Mooyoung could obsess over Gitae for 10 years was because Gitae allowed it. That alone makes Gitae still a jerk. My mouth suddenly felt bitter, so I reached for the bottle to pour myself a drink, but it was empty. Wait, wasn’t this the second bottle? Besides, I had only had three drinks. Then all the rest…

“One more bottle, please!”

Seongsu ordered as soon as he saw the empty bottle in my hand.

“Seongsu, you should stop drinking…”

“Oh, Dongho asked about you too. He even looked you up online. Apparently, if you search ‘architect Lee Seoin,’ only you come up. He said he saw your picture while talking about your company name. He asked if you still work there.”

Damn search engines. Whenever I search for something I need, all I get are ads. I felt like I was the only one exposed to the enemy, and my mind briefly wandered. Meanwhile, Seongsu had poured a new bottle and was already drinking. I barely managed to stop him from pouring another glass and checked the time.

“Stop drinking and go home. Your house must be a mess right now.”

“I don’t want to go home.”

“…….”

“I don’t want to go home.”

Seongsu took the bottle I was holding and filled his empty glass with the clear liquid.

“I feel like my mother is still there.”

He looked up at me with a tired, weary expression. I felt like I could hear him crying.

“Seoin, be good to your parents. Really, really…be good to them while they’re still alive.”

It was almost midnight when I arrived home. I barely made it onto the last subway train, and relieved, I dozed off inside and luckily woke up just in time for my stop. The cold air outside helped me sober up a bit, but the lightheadedness from the alcohol still lingered. With my house just a stone’s throw away, I sat down on a bench in a nearby park. Buttoning my coat against the increasingly chilly night air, I kept clutching my phone in my hand. It was late, so if I were in my right mind, I should go home and sleep. I wasn’t that drunk. The ground wasn’t swaying, and I wasn’t dizzy. But I sat on the bench instead of going home, staring at my phone. After a long hesitation, my hand pressed the speed dial. The phone rang, and then my mother’s sleepy voice answered, “Seoin, is that you?” I grinned foolishly as soon as I heard my name.

“Yes, it’s Seoin.”

「Why are you calling at this hour? Is something wrong?」

“No, I just called. How’s Dad doing?”

I knew he probably wasn’t much better, but it had become a habit to ask about his condition first. He had been bedridden since he suddenly collapsed a few years ago, only able to sit up with help, but since last year, he’s been able to stand and walk a few steps with assistance. Of course, I haven’t seen him. I had rushed to the hospital in shock when I heard he had collapsed after being scammed by a close acquaintance. But when he saw me, he yelled. Not coherent words, but a garbled scream. With a contorted face, he pointed outside with his barely moving left hand.

‘Get out~’

I had no choice but to obey his silent command. I haven’t visited him since that day, afraid of worsening his condition.

「Your father’s a bit better. He can hold a spoon by himself now.」

That’s good to hear, I replied and added my usual concern, Take care of yourself too, Mom.

「I’m fine, you’re the one I’m worried about. Sending living expenses every month, paying for your father’s hospital bills…are you really sure nothing’s wrong?」

Yes, nothing’s wrong. I reassured her with a smile and asked softly,

“Should I go see Dad?”

Silence flowed from the other end of the line for a few seconds. I regretted bringing it up, then her answer came.

「Would you like to? Seoin, would you like to come down?」

Her voice was so gentle that my eyes stung foolishly.

“No, maybe later, when Dad’s feeling better. Mom, go to sleep.”

After listening to her worries about whether we had enough food until the very end, I pressed the end call button. I felt like if I didn’t get up from the bench, my subsiding cold would come back, but I wanted to stay outside a little longer. Time doesn’t always drain a can of emotions. As I got older, I learned that. There are cans where emotions accumulate, their expiration date extended indefinitely. Especially the ones labeled ‘Parents.’

I was already in bad shape due to the hangover and fatigue. On top of that, Assistant Manager Yang’s issue hadn’t been resolved yet, so the director’s mood was worse than yesterday. The office had the heating on, but it felt colder than outside. To make matters worse, as expected from my time on the bench, my cold had returned. After lunch, I started coughing uncontrollably. I was too tired to use the on-site work as an excuse to escape, so I sat at my desk and endured, feeling the glares of my colleagues. I bowed my head like a criminal and scribbled on a blueprint when a bigger cough erupted. And at the same time, the director’s office door burst open. In that instant, everyone in the office froze. I froze like ice, regretting not having run out earlier despite my fatigue. Click, click, at the sound of footsteps approaching me, I braced myself and looked up, just in time to meet the director’s eyes as he approached. He was wearing a bright smile.

“Oh? Seoin, you were here?”

What are you talking about, you saw me at lunch, but I couldn’t argue with his question, as he seemed to be in a very good mood. He was using the nickname he only used when he was in the best of moods, calling me by my name. Why is he in such a good mood? Like the other employees, I stared at him in bewilderment. He leaned his arm on a nearby partition, called the department head sitting on the other side, and spoke. His intention was clear. He wanted everyone in the office to hear.

“Are you free on Saturday? Mr. Kim Yibang contacted me, asking to meet on Saturday. He has events scheduled all week, but he said he cleared his schedule to meet me. Hehehe~ We’re having lunch together.”

Gratitude for Mr. Kim Yibang flooded the hearts of the employees. To think he called at such an opportune time. I’ll have to get Mr. Kim Yibang’s autograph if I see him, I thought, when the director, who had just made plans with the department head, suddenly looked down at me.

“Seoin, you’re coming too, right?”

Well, should I really go to get an autograph…

“Oh, and Chae Minho will be there too.”

“…….”

“Come and get his autograph. Hehehe~”

The director laughed cheerfully, but I froze. Watching the kid on TV and commenting on how much he had changed was one thing. But actually meeting him…

“I don’t think I can make it.”

The director’s smile instantly disappeared, and he shouted, “Why?!” Because it’s awkward, of course. It would be strange to suddenly show up after 10 years of no contact, just to gawk at him now that he’s a famous golfer, and we were connected through a bad experience anyway. Besides…

“I didn’t reply to him.”

I mumbled to myself and did something I didn’t want to do in front of the director.

“Cough, cough…I’m sorry. I have a cold…”

“You virus spreader! Don’t come!”

Since I was a certified sick person by the director, I had nothing to do, so I decided to rest comfortably at home on Saturday. But maybe my cold was really bad, because even with the boiler turned up high and bundled up in blankets, I was shivering from the cold. I’m glad it’s Saturday. The director wouldn’t be in the office because of his appointment, and unless it was something really urgent, I wouldn’t have to go in…

Ring~ Ring~

As soon as I let my guard down, the ominous ringing of the phone started. Pulling the blanket over my head, I briefly considered not answering. But as the phone kept ringing for several minutes, a premonition that something urgent had happened hit me. I had no choice but to let my work-conditioned mind take over. As expected, it was Assistant Manager Yang. His almost breathless yell came from the other end of the line.

「Seoin, get to the office right now!!!」

Damn it. I told him to always carry important documents with him. I wrapped a musty scarf from the back of my closet tightly around my neck, bundled up in a winter coat, and rushed to the office. Assistant Manager Yang’s frantic calls, yelling my name, kept coming as I was on my way. So after the third call, I put my phone on silent, threw it in my bag, and ignored it. Calling every 10 minutes to ask if I had arrived yet? It wasn’t like I could teleport. Thanks to that, by the time I reached the office, I was sweating. The office door was locked.

“Cough, cough…”

My head throbbed with the cough, so I closed my eyes and stood there for a moment. With the keys in my hand, I waited for the dizziness to subside and opened my eyes. I’m dying. I just need to send the files and go home and sleep…

Tap.

Just then, I heard footsteps stopping right behind me. The presence was so close that I noticed it even while I was sick. Or maybe it was because I couldn’t feel the cold wind anymore. What is it? With a strange feeling, I turned my head and realized why. Someone was blocking the wind right behind me. A man much taller than me, someone I had to look up to. But before I even looked up, his arms reached out from behind, as if to embrace me. I realized he was holding my hand, the one holding the keys, because of the warmth. A warm hand that instantly melted the chill that had been spreading through my shivering body. A slow voice spoke near my ear.

“I’ll open it.”

Before the day the kid swung the baseball bat, I didn’t really have any memories with him. It was natural, since we had never had a proper conversation. But there was one time I spent entirely with him. It must have been Mooyoung’s request. The kid had left something important, and Mooyoung was busy working all night for several days with Gitae’s help on a demo recording he had to submit. I had gone to see Gitae and ended up going to the kid’s school on his behalf. It had only been two years since I graduated, but the school had changed into a very unfamiliar place. Fortunately, I met the kid during lunch break, gave him the item, and was about to turn around when he stopped me and took me to a nearby snack bar. Without even saying thank you, he asked what I wanted to eat and ordered kimbap and fish cakes. As I recall, we didn’t say a word to each other until we finished eating. It was a very awkward situation. Even though I knew it would be like this, I stayed and ate because I knew he was very grateful. He was clutching the item I had given him with his big hands, like a child. Mooyoung’s pen.

‘He said he needs my things as a good luck charm for tournaments or important events.’

Mooyoung had explained nonchalantly, picking up a random pen lying around without even looking at it. A pen that meant nothing to Mooyoung was a precious item to the kid, something that calmed his nerves and brought him success. Strangely, my eyes kept being drawn to his hand holding the pen. I remember looking at it repeatedly, glancing at it involuntarily. Dark, tanned hands from the sun, with protruding knuckles and calloused, rough skin. Clutching something tightly.

‘I’ll open it.’

I should have reacted to the voice first, but seeing his hand caught in my vision brought me back to my senses. Unless I had an exceptionally good memory, it would be difficult to remember someone’s hand. Especially the hand of someone I hadn’t seen in 10 years. How would I know what it looked like? But before I heard the voice, I saw the hand and realized. Who this person was. The first thing to react was my heart. The loud thumping of my heart spread throughout my body. ……Huh? It took a while to turn my head, which had stiffened like a piece of wood. I even twisted my upper body halfway to see the face of the man, who was taller than I expected, standing behind me. Then he moved half a step to the side. Unaware that he was still holding my hand, I finally saw his face. I already knew who it was from his voice, no, from my reacting heart, but seeing it with my own eyes was different. It was a face I had seen dozens of times on TV, but that was no different from a paper doll on a small screen. There was no chance of eye contact since he wasn’t looking at me.

“…….”

“…….”

Unlike me, frozen and speechless, he, the kid, was just looking down at me with an impassive expression. For a very brief moment, my mind tried to compare him to the kid I remembered from the past, to see if it was really him. His thin, lanky body, which had seemed small, had changed into a tall and healthy one, the kind you’d notice walking down the street. A physique more suited to a swimmer than a golfer. Short, chestnut-like hair had grown into bangs that almost covered his eyes, and the boy’s innocent face had transformed into the impassive face of the so-called poker-faced golfer. And eyes that never avoided contact. No, they had become eyes that were hard to meet, eyes that made others avert their gaze. It was a familiar face I had often seen on TV, but it felt like I was facing a completely different person. If he hadn’t spoken, I might have just stood there like a fool.

“The keys.”

“The keys?” I finally remembered that I was trying to open the door and turned my head. As soon as I saw him still holding my hand, I looked at him again, putting strength into my hand.

“I’ll open it…myself.”

The formal speech came out awkwardly. Seeing his impassive, mask-like face, one thing came to mind. The hypothesis I had previously dismissed as a joke. He might not recognize me. It’s been 10 years. But even when I put strength into my hand, the keys wouldn’t budge. He was still holding my hand.

“I’ll open the door… Cough, cough~”

A sudden cough interrupted me mid-sentence. I covered my mouth with my hand and coughed a few times, my chest shaking, and by the time I was done, the situation had been resolved. He had easily taken the keys from me, opened the door, and was now standing next to me. And then, a single dry word.

“Please come in.”

“…….”

I looked at him for a moment, then turned and went inside first. It was strange. His expression was impassive, but his words seemed to carry concern. I thought I had sensed a flicker of the kid from before.

I should have asked why the person who was supposed to meet the director had appeared here, but as soon as I entered the office, I remembered what I had to do and rushed towards Assistant Manager Yang’s desk. Minho followed me inside slowly and stood near the entrance. While the computer was booting up, I turned on the heater and pointed to the lounge where we received guests.

“Please wait in there for a moment…”

He glanced at the place I pointed to and slowly walked towards it. I watched him go, then turned my attention back to the computer as the Windows startup sound played. My hand was on the mouse, my eyes on the screen, but my mind was filled with questions about him. Does he really not remember me? No, he might remember. But perhaps I’m not someone he feels the need to acknowledge. I suddenly remembered seeing Seongsu. If he hadn’t spoken to me, I would have just ignored him even though his face was familiar. Most people would be like that. After 10 years, most relationships become just awkward acquaintances even if you recognize each other. Anyway, how did he get here? As the last of the files Assistant Manager Yang had requested finished uploading to the web hard drive, I took out my phone from my bag. The screen displayed a shocking number. 15 missed calls. What the… Was Assistant Manager Yang this frantic? I checked the list, and it wasn’t just Assistant Manager Yang who had called. The director, the department head, Assistant Manager Yang. I called Assistant Manager Yang first, since he seemed the easiest to deal with. As soon as the call connected, I heard his yell.

「Hey, where are you?!! Why aren’t you answering your…」

“I just sent the files.”

「Oh, you did? Ah~ Seoin, thank you. I’ll definitely buy you a meal later. Ah, I’m saved. By the way, if you’re at the office, is Chae Minho there?」

How does he know? I lowered my voice and asked quietly, worried that Minho might hear,

“Yes, he is. But why did he come here? Didn’t he have an appointment with the director?”

「Yeah. They were supposed to meet outside, but Chae Minho said he wanted to see the office, so the plans suddenly changed. The director is meeting with Mr. Kim Yibang first and then joining us at the office, and the department head was supposed to come to the office first and wait for Chae Minho…ahem, there’s been a bit of a problem, and the department head is on his way here.」

So, it’s because of you, after all.

「The director is stuck in traffic, so he’ll be a bit late, so you entertain him until then. Hey, by the way, what do you think?」

“About what?”

Now that the urgent files had been sent, his voice was filled with curiosity, as if he finally had room to breathe.

「About Chae Minho. What do you think? He’s tall and handsome on TV. Is he the same in real life?」

“Yes.”

「…….」

“…….”

「Is that all?」

Assistant Manager Yang expressed his disappointment at my indifferent answer. I had no choice but to turn my head towards the lounge to look for something else to say. But as soon as I turned my head, my eyes met his through the glass wall. He had been looking at me. It’s not that I’m bragging, but since I’ve been told I’m handsome, I often receive attention from others. When I’m sitting in a cafe or on the subway, if I feel a gaze and turn my head, I often make eye contact with people who were looking at me. 90% of them awkwardly look away. The remaining 10% are the ones who try to talk to me. Their eyes sparkle with curiosity and a bit of excitement. That’s why I’ve never seen such a still, quiet gaze that doesn’t look away. Forgetting that I was still on the phone, I muttered involuntarily,

“He looks like a completely different person.”

「What? You said he’s the same as on TV? Oh, is the rumor true? That he always wears a hat because he’s bald?」

“…….”

「Gasp! Is he really bald?!」

“Assistant Manager Yang.”

「What?」

“Don’t you have to check the files before the department head arrives?”

The department head always laughed good-naturedly, but if you made a mistake, he would nitpick for months.

「……Let’s hang up.」

Click. I put the phone in my pocket with a small sigh. And then I went to greet the guest who was still staring at me.

Awkward.

The coffee I had offered him had long gone cold. Looking at the time, it had been over 20 minutes since we sat facing each other without saying a word, but it felt like 20 hours. All I had said was, “The director will be here soon,” relaying what the director had told me on the phone. After that, only my occasional coughs broke the silence. Explain the company like you usually do to guests, my mind urged, but my body wouldn’t move. If I opened my mouth, a question like, “Don’t you recognize me?” would probably come out. But somehow, asking first felt like a blow to my pride, so I couldn’t even do that. Even though he had become someone far beyond my reach, someone I couldn’t afford to be prideful against. Come to think of it, I remembered that it was always awkward with him even before. Sometimes, when it was just the two of us, silence would stretch for dozens of minutes. I would fix my gaze on one spot, usually the table, and he would look towards the door, neither of us moving as if we were in a staring contest. Just like now. Except now, he wasn’t looking at the door. He was looking at me. It wasn’t his face he was looking at, so I didn’t feel particularly uncomfortable. Compared to the current awkward silence, that is. Anyway, awkwardness was a familiar atmosphere between him and me. Thinking this, I suddenly chuckled involuntarily. It was just a silent curving of my lips, but he looked up. As if asking why, I explained without thinking,

“Because it’s the same…as before.”

After saying that, I felt a bit embarrassed for being the first to mention the past. I quickly added, trying to change the subject to something like, Chae Minho looks the same as on TV.

“I didn’t mean anything by it, just…”

“Seoin hyung is the same too.”

“…….”

Hearing my name from him, the excuses on the tip of my tongue disappeared. While I was momentarily speechless, he added in a blunt tone,

“Without the formal speech.”

It sounded like a joke meant to lighten the mood, but perhaps because I was nervous from his reaction, or perhaps because of my pride, the question I had buried just popped out.

“Do you remember me?”

He straightened up and looked me in the eye. His speech was still slow, but there was strength in it.

“I remember. Everything.”

Everything. Ironically, all that came to mind was the image of Gitae and Mooyoung entwined. I let out a bitter laugh and nodded.

“Yeah, I remember too.”

He seemed to have noticed what I was thinking, as his still eyes suddenly turned cold. And then he asked a question I hadn’t expected at all.

“Am I still someone you find painful?”

What? What does that…I was about to ask what he meant when the sound of the door opening and a mood-lifting laugh filled the air.

“Hehehe~ Mr. Kim Yibang is so funny!”

Now that the director, who had the original appointment with Minho, had arrived, I could leave, but I was somehow caught up and ended up joining their three-way meeting. I was also a little curious about Mr. Kim Yibang, who was rumored to be a very nice and funny person. Of course, I should have taken the source of that rumor, the director’s words, with a grain of salt. Mr. Kim Yibang was even more taciturn than Minho. When the director went to the bathroom and it was just the three of us, his true nature shone.

“…….”

“…….”

“…….”

The awkwardness tripled. Mr. Kim Yibang, a sturdy man in his early 50s with salt-and-pepper hair, exuded the unwavering aura of a craftsman who had dedicated his life to one path. Compared to him, even the impassive Minho was easier to deal with. What was so funny about this caddy who looked like a human cultural asset that made the director laugh so much? Maybe when he opens his mouth, he unleashes a hidden comedic spirit? This latter question disappeared because of his intense gaze, which was fixed on me as soon as the director left. His gaze was filled with such strictness that it reminded me of the scariest teacher from my school days. No, it was becoming even sharper. I straightened up and adjusted my posture, unconsciously nervous. But the gaze remained. It even slowly scanned me from head to toe. Gulp. I racked my brain trying to figure out if I had done anything wrong. Then I remembered I was still wearing my scarf. I quickly took it off and sat up straight, but it had no effect. No, it felt like his gaze had become even more disapproving. What the hell…

“Excuse me.”

I answered “Yes?” nervously at his baritone voice, like that of an opera singer. Just in case, I clasped my hands politely in front of me, and he asked,

“Why didn’t I get any coffee?”

“…….”

“If there isn’t any, then roasted barley tea.”

“……I’ll bring you some coffee.”

I answered and stood up, feeling a bit bewildered. What is this? This subtly off-kilter personality? Pondering Mr. Kim Yibang’s character, I poured instant coffee mix into a cup. Just then, the director, who had just returned from the bathroom, stopped next to me and whispered,

“Mr. Kim Yibang is funny, right?”

Are you kidding me? Of course, I gave my employer a slightly altered answer.

“You’re the best, director.”

The director disappeared with a hideous laugh, covering his mouth with his hand. After about five years of working in a company, an organ that automatically generates flattery develops within your body. Reflecting on the woes of office life, I took my time making the coffee and went back inside. The director was laughing his head off again, with the two expressionless men in front of him.

“Ehehehe~ Ah, Chief Lee, have a seat. Have a seat.”

The director called me over familiarly and had me sit in the chair furthest away from him, since I had a cold. But as soon as I handed Mr. Kim Yibang his coffee and sat down, I wanted to jump up and leave.

“Chae Minho is gay, and since he’s been single throughout his career, everyone he meets tries to set him up with gay people they know. Most of them are shameless people trying to gain something by setting him up. So these two really hate it when people try to force introductions. Americans are nosy too, I guess?”

Is that all they are?

“Even if the proportion of gay people is small, these days, with everyone coming out, there must be plenty. It’s rude to force introductions like that. I think it’s disrespectful. Even gay people should meet naturally, naturally~”

I was momentarily dumbfounded by the director’s contradictory statement, then I looked at the two men, worried about him talking about gay people so openly in front of them. But I couldn’t read their emotions from their expressions. In this situation, I had to step up and change the subject. Just as I made this decision, the director orchestrated a “natural” encounter.

“Oh, right! Chae Minho, you don’t have a boyfriend right now, do you? Ahem, then how about our Chief Lee? Actually, hehehe~ Chief Lee is also, you know. Ehehehe~ What do you think? He’s handsome, isn’t he?”

Even without the director’s finger pointing at me, everyone’s eyes were on me. Fortunately, Minho already knew me, and Mr. Kim Yibang’s gaze was less intimidating than when I hadn’t given him coffee. Still, I couldn’t help but be flustered by the director’s sudden words. I couldn’t even stop him from revealing my shameful secret, that I’d been single for 10 years. Damn it, I should never get drunk before the director at company dinners. By the way, had the director already forgotten what he had just said? That these two hated it when people tried to set them up…

“Not bad.”

Mr. Kim Yibang took the bait immediately. I turned my bewildered gaze from the director to him. He, still with a stern expression, studied me for a moment and asked seriously in his baritone voice,

“Are your parents still alive?”

“……Yes.”

I answered instinctively, but the following question made me feel a sense of crisis.

“Do you have any illnesses or conditions?”

“I’m healthy. But…”

“Any particular types you dislike?”

“Mr. Kim, these questions…”

“How about a 29-year-old athlete, 189cm tall, 79kg, no parents but with a maternal uncle who’s like family, very healthy, and characterized by diligence?”

If you had just asked, ‘How about Minho?’ it wouldn’t have been so breathless. I politely declined his expectant gaze.

“I’m sorry. The athlete you’re referring to…”

“He’s a very famous athlete.”

“……Yes, even if I don’t know who this v.e.r.y. f.a.m.o.u.s. athlete is, I’m not currently looking to date anyone.”

I didn’t forget to look pointedly at the impassive Minho when I said “very famous.” He was just observing the situation silently, so he seemed uninterested at first glance, but his eyes seemed to be smiling. But I didn’t have time to confirm it. Because the other two were definitely not smiling. Mr. Kim Yibang’s expression crumpled even more noticeably than when he hadn’t received his coffee, and he turned sharply to the director.

“Director. Are you trying to scam us innocent Korean-Americans with a dating scheme?”

I wanted to laugh it off, asking who was an innocent Korean-American and what dating scheme he was talking about, but he was genuinely angry. Jokes didn’t work on Mr. Kim Yibang. His deep, operatic voice made the atmosphere even heavier. The director, shrouded in the darkness, was flustered, but unfortunately, I didn’t have time to enjoy his predicament.

“Chief Lee.”

Tap, he suddenly stood in front of me and put his hand on my shoulder. Even if it weren’t for the director’s hardened expression, I would have held my breath because he had touched me, a sick person. And squeezed. Hard.

“Chae Minho didn’t come here just to build a house. A b.u.i.l.d.i.n.g. A b.i.g. b.u.i.l.d.i.n.g. in the m.i.d.d.l.e. o.f. t.h.e. c.i.t.y. That’s why he came to our firm. Not just a uniform concrete block, but an amazing b.u.i.l.d.i.n.g. with a unique design. Do you understand? Chief Lee?”

His eyes, staring at me, were screaming. Either sacrifice yourself or hand in your resignation here. The 1% of rationality that remembered the job market won over the 99% of emotion that wanted to quit.

“People’s hearts change.”

I smiled brightly at Mr. Kim Yibang and added,

“If the very famous athlete you mentioned is okay with it, I’d like to meet him.”

“Excellent.”

Mr. Kim Yibang seemed satisfied and nodded, then asked Minho,

“Minho, Chief Lee has been single for 10 years, is that okay with you?”

Then, his eyes, devoid of laughter, turned to me. He must be flustered. I was flustered too. Especially when he was staring at me as if evaluating me. If he had said, He’s not my type, it might have been better. Then I would be briefly embarrassed, and it would be over. But there was something even more hurtful to my pride. He said dryly,

“I don’t care.”

Do your dating cells really die if you’re single for a long time? One thing’s for sure, you definitely become less sensitive to romance. The excitement of meeting someone you like is such a distant memory that it sounds like a beautiful fairy tale. ‘Maybe it’ll work out with this person.’ The anticipation you should feel when you meet someone you’re interested in has, at some point, changed to resignation. ‘This person probably has a boyfriend.’ Or if someone shows interest in me, I check my appearance first. Did I get something on me? Someone I know jokingly said I had become domesticated to being single. It seemed the same for me, single for 10 years. Even with a handsome and famous athlete next to me, as Mr. Kim Yibang had described, I didn’t feel any anticipation. I had become an ‘indifferent’ existence to him, without any feelings of dislike or like.

“Is there anywhere… cough, cough, you’d like to go?”

The director joked that we should go on a date now, and Mr. Kim Yibang tried to book a hotel room on the spot. I was more scared by the fact that he was serious. Unlike me, still shocked by Mr. Kim Yibang, Minho stopped him. He said we would go somewhere else first. The use of the word ‘first’ was a bit strange, but I quickly took him outside. The cusp of late autumn and winter. At some point, the wind had taken over the streets, carrying an icy chill. As soon as we stepped outside, the cold air seeped into my body even though I had my scarf wrapped tightly around my neck. I was tired and wanted to suggest meeting another time, but I also thought it would be nice to talk to him after such a long time. But surely Minho wouldn’t want to go somewhere like an amusement park, would he? I looked back at him as he followed me out, and he walked past me without a word. I walked for a bit, wondering where he was going, when I saw him opening the door of a nearby car and stopped. It was surprising that he had brought a car. Wasn’t he just here briefly for the tournament?

“Get in.”

I walked towards the car, listening to his voice, which sounded somewhat cold, perhaps because of the weather. It was still slow, but it felt different from before. Back then, perhaps because the kid himself seemed so innocent, his slow speech sounded shy, but now, it felt guarded, like an impenetrable barrier. Perhaps because it lacked emotion. As I felt his changed demeanor, something I couldn’t have imagined 10 years ago, I discreetly dropped the car keys I had been holding in my pocket. Since he was a famous golfer, I couldn’t have him take public transportation, so I had been planning to give him a ride in my compact car, which had been dedicated to the company for years. But seeing the gleaming silver SUV, I wanted to hide my company car behind it. Besides, it wasn’t even a rental. I glanced at the license plate and got in the car. Minho started the engine, smoothly pulled out, and gave me a belated answer.

“Yes.”

What? I was about to ask, then realized he meant a place he wanted to go.

“Where?”

“A hotel.”

“…….”

“Just kidding.”

I belatedly replied, “Ah, okay,” but I couldn’t laugh. I was still reeling from Mr. Kim Yibang, and now his nephew? How was I supposed to know if what he said with a straight face was a joke? Still, I tried to hide my surprise and added,

“A hotel, well, that’s fine.”

“Shall we go?”

Was his serious tone another joke? But just in case it wasn’t, I asked timidly,

“……To eat?”

Minho stopped the car at the entrance to the main road and glanced at me.

“No. To have sex.”

“…….”

Thanks to my carefully cultivated image, which sometimes earned me the label of “cold,” I didn’t gape and stare in shock. Still, I involuntarily held my breath. There was no trace of laughter in his eyes as they met mine. His calm, steady gaze seemed to say it was all true, so I couldn’t react easily. If he hadn’t spoken so casually, I might have continued to sit there frozen in a rather unsightly manner.

“Just kidding.”

I still couldn’t laugh, as if he had mastered the art of delivering jokes in the most chilling way possible. Still, I complimented him.

“That was very funny.”

I saw him glance at me again and added,

“You can tell jokes now.”

Before, he could barely manage to answer questions. Well, he had seemed busy chasing after Mooyoung back then. It had seemed like that was the kid’s only purpose in life. Running full speed towards Mooyoung, breathless. The fact that he could now tell jokes, even if they weren’t funny, meant he had gained enough composure to look around and take it easy. So I really couldn’t see the kid from 10 years ago anymore, huh?

“I do other things too.”

“Like what?” I asked after his slightly delayed response, and a single word came.

“Lie.”

What kind of lie? The question I was about to casually ask didn’t come out. It was because, for the first time, I felt emotion in his words. As if a single word, ‘lie,’ was hiding something important. But he didn’t explain further and stopped the car at an intersection, then looked back at me.

“Please tell me which way to go.”

“Which way? Where do you want to go?”

“Your house.”

Why? I frowned and asked, and the answer that came back was unexpected.

“You need to rest.”

Did he offer to take me home? If so, I didn’t intend to refuse. I also wanted to part ways with him at this point, as he had become an awkward presence again. The director and Mr. Kim Yibang came to mind, but I tried to ignore them and thanked him, giving him my address. Perhaps because it had been a mentally tiring day, my body felt languid inside the warm car.

“When are you leaving? I’ll buy you a meal before then.”

I tossed the words out, half-heartedly sincere, still feeling somewhat apologetic. My calculations were based on the assumption that he’d be busy with his event schedule and would soon return to the United States anyway. But Minho answered immediately, without a moment’s hesitation.

“Wednesday.”

“Wednesday is your departure date?”

“No. I’m free from then on.”

The phrase “from then on” bothered me, but I nodded.

“Then Wednesday evening……”

“I’ll pick you up at your work.”

“O……kay.”

“Are you okay with wine?”

Of course, I’m okay with it. It’s alcohol; there’s no way I wouldn’t like it. As I nodded, he murmured something about being glad, saying he’d received a gift of good wine. It was a lighthearted tone, and the content was harmless enough. If only I hadn’t suddenly realized something. This conversation is like we’re actually setting up a date, isn’t it? Is this my delusion? I couldn’t help but glance at Minho’s profile as he drove. He wouldn’t actually be trying to take me on a date, would he……? As if sensing my gaze, he turned his indifferent eyes towards me.

“Don’t worry. I won’t jump you right away.”

“Hey.”

I lifted my head from where it rested against the seat and blurted out,

“Not funny. That kind of joke.”

My words came out cold, but the eyes that glanced at me still held no warmth. Would it make sense to say it was a deeply uncomfortable gaze? Eyes that look directly at the other person without a hint of intimidation, on the contrary, make the one being looked at nervous. Moreover, he had reappeared after 10 years, having changed so much, that it was somewhat confusing for me, still clinging to old memories. Is this really the same innocent kid who couldn’t even meet my eyes?

“It’s not a joke.”

At his low, abrupt reply, I realized anew: this guy is completely different from the kid I knew. His voice was still slow, but the childlike innocence it once held was gone. Is it simply because 10 years have passed? Do I appear to others to have changed just as much? But one thing I can be sure of is that, even if I’ve changed, I haven’t changed as much as the kid. My once prickly personality has been smoothed out by the hardships of working life, and my shyness has now been mostly overcome. Yes, my changes are due to adapting to reality. Then is the kid’s transformation also due to adapting to reality? If becoming someone difficult to approach is due to reality, his reality must have been truly harsh. Meanwhile, the car stopped in front of a small villa. It wasn’t an apartment, just a villa, and looking at the veranda window, one could tell it was a small, maybe 500 square foot place, but I wasn’t ashamed. Just securing the lease on this place was an achievement for me. Although the loan for the deposit remained, the feeling of escaping the semi-basement and moving above ground was truly the best. This would be an achievement that my 21-year-old self would scoff at. I used to think that by my thirties, I would be well-established, naturally owning at least an apartment. Or at least, I thought I’d make some big money using my good looks. However, I learned that a good face, unless you become a celebrity or a host, is just a troublesome existence that only fuels vanity. As I get older, the size of my dreams and satisfaction shrinks. It’s sad, but this reality is now as familiar as the fact that I can’t quit my job. However, I’m also human, and with someone so hugely successful beside me, I felt a little deflated. So, I deliberately coughed, trying to get out quickly, and offered a farewell.

“Thanks. If I were feeling better, I would have shown you around the city.”

“Next time.”

“Yeah, next time……”

I readily agreed, but then I remembered that this was Mr. Kim Yibang’s nephew, a man impervious to empty pleasantries.

“Aren’t you leaving soon?”

To my repeated question, he again didn’t answer. Instead, he shifted his gaze and pointed to the villa with his eyes, asking where it was. Thinking he was asking about my home, I lowered my head and pointed to the upper floor.

“The second one from the top right. Cough, cough~”

I really need to take my medicine and go to bed. Thinking I needed to get out quickly, I unfastened my seatbelt, but I saw Minho still staring at the apartment I had pointed out.

“It was nice meeting you.”

I said goodbye, but he just stared at me as I turned. He didn’t seem to have anything to say. His gaze, simply watching me, made me feel awkward.

“……Why?”

“It was nice meeting you, too.”

“…….”

“I’m not joking.”

You don’t have to explain everything. I muttered and grabbed the car door handle. But before I could pull it, it came to mind.

“What did you mean by what you said earlier at the office?”

What? To his questioning eyes, I repeated what he had said.

“You asked if I was still bothered by you.”

He looked at me with a slightly curious expression and then slowly began to speak.

“Ten years ago, you said that to me.”

“I did?”

Yes, he replied, adding lightly. But the feeling that reached me was as cold as a blade.

“You said that seeing me would remind you of Kwon Gitae and be painful.”

I vaguely remembered saying something like that. Probably when I was breaking up with him. While I was searching my memory, a slow, low voice drifted into my ear.

“And now?”

Now…… My hesitation in answering wasn’t because I was going to say yes. I suddenly thought of Mooyoung and Dongho whom I had seen recently, and the phone call with Gitae, and I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“It’s been 10 years; how could I still feel that way? Even seeing the people involved back then doesn’t bother me.”

“Did you meet Kwon Gitae?”

The question surprised me, not because he coldly referred to Gitae as ‘Kwon Gitae,’ but because he didn’t ask about Mooyoung first, even though I’d mentioned “the people involved.”

“Just a call recently. Unfortunately, we’re tangled up because of work.”

Frowning, I looked back at him with slightly worried eyes.

“I saw Mooyoung…… recently too. If you want, I can tell you where.”

“…….”

He didn’t answer, turning his gaze away for a moment. Looking at his profile, I felt a slight pang of disappointment. His inability to answer suggested that, for him, Mooyoung’s existence might still hold the same weight as it did 10 years ago. Even if he hadn’t forgotten him after liking him so much back then, it was something I could have just acknowledged and moved on from, but I didn’t know why I felt disappointed. No, let’s be honest. It’s already been 10 years, and it shouldn’t matter what the people involved do, but still, I wanted the kid, who was also a victim, to be the same as me. Because it feels like a real defeat to still have feelings for them. Unconsciously, I waited anxiously for his answer. However, even after he lifted his gaze a moment later, I didn’t hear a reply.

“Go inside and rest.”

Thankfully, I had some cold medicine left from the pharmacy. I took it and spent the entire afternoon sweating under the covers, sleeping as if I’d passed out. I slept very deeply and seemed to have had a dream. When I opened my eyes in the completely darkened evening, I experienced a brief moment where reality and dream were mixed. I was standing in front of Mooyoung’s door, 10 years ago, having just met Minho. In the dream, I couldn’t move my body and just had to listen to the dirty sounds flowing from inside. Minho was beside me, but he wasn’t the kid in a baseball uniform, but a well-dressed, successful golfer. He seemed uninterested in the sounds coming from inside, turning his body to watch me, unable to move. After blinking a few times and the dream completely receded, a curse sprang to my lips. Fucking hell, what a nightmare. Pushing aside the thick blanket and sitting up, I realized I’d sweat enough to soak the t-shirt I’d slept in. Still, thanks to the long sleep, my body felt lighter. My stomach was also considerably lighter. I’m hungry. I stumbled into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, but there was only kimchi and bottled water. Naturally, there was no rice. Should I order in? While looking at the flyers next to the refrigerator, I happened to glance at the clock. The hour hand pointed to ‘1’…… What? 1 a.m.?! Startled, I looked for another clock, but it was indeed past 1 a.m. How many hours did I sleep? My surprise was short-lived as my stomach growled, urging me on. Rubbing my eyes, I habitually dialed the late-night restaurant’s number. The nightmare had already sunk below my consciousness.

Thanks to resting well all weekend, I was able to go to work on Monday with a light heart. I had to visit a site in the morning, so I didn’t arrive at the office until almost the end of lunchtime. A few employees were gathered inside, drinking coffee and chatting, and their topic of conversation seemed to be me. As soon as I entered, everyone’s gaze turned toward me, and the chatter abruptly ceased. To be honest, I’d anticipated this situation to some extent. The director must have spread the word about what happened on Saturday during the morning while I was out. The problem was how much he had exaggerated……

“Chief Lee, is it true that you’re going to live with Chae Minho?”

Damn director, he wrote a whole novel. Mr. Yang, the deputy chief, stood up as the representative and approached me with a serious expression.

Thwack!

He placed his hand firmly on my shoulder and lowered his voice.

“You have to catch him, even if it means throwing your whole body at it.”

This is why I hate coming to work in the morning.

“Did you have something bad for lunch?”

I brushed off his hand and walked towards my desk, but Mr. Yang clung to me.

“Hey, Chae Minho is a total jackpot! He’s a walking, talking lottery ticket!”

“Then Mr. Yang should throw his whole body at catching him.”

I sneered as much as possible, but he just widened his eyes.

“Who wouldn’t want to? Look at Chae Minho. He’s athletic, rich, handsome, tall, and has shoulders as wide as the Pacific. Even I, as a man, think he’s really cool. But what can I do about this damn instinct that makes me get goosebumps just from touching a man’s hand? Damn it…… this useless body that only likes women.”

As Mr. Yang’s nonsense ended, a female employee behind him laughed and joked.

“Oh~ I’m also upset that I’m not a man. I can’t even make a move on Chae Minho.”

Should I like this atmosphere, or be annoyed by it? When I first joined the company and it became known that I was gay, everyone treated me awkwardly. Even in light conversations, when the topic of dating between men and women came up, most people would glance at me and trail off. Even during drinking parties, when the topic of a beautiful female celebrity came up, everyone would look at me. I’m grateful for those who are considerate of me, but it’s also annoying. The words “It’s okay, just ignore me” reach the tip of my tongue, but I don’t let my guard down. Fortunately, I benefited somewhat from my good looks in this regard. Because I could just simply state my ideal type and be done with it.

‘Someone more handsome than me.’

I don’t know for sure, but when I say this, the other person soon apologizes with a solemn face, saying they’re sorry for misunderstanding. After that, they no longer harbor the illusion that I might like them. The people at the company, now that we’ve spent a few years together, can joke about me being gay like this, but it has its own discomforts. It’s still better than everyone feeling uncomfortable around me, right?

“So Seoin, you really have to take advantage of this great opportunity. So, with Chae Minho…… how was it?”

Mr. Yang, the man who got goosebumps from just touching a man’s hand, slung his arm around my shoulder and asked.

“How was what?”

“Come on, I know everything. You and Chae Minho on Saturday……”

He lowered his voice and asked slyly, mindful of the female employee behind him.

“Went straight to a hotel, right?”

“No.”

“Huh? But according to the director……”

“Have you only worked under the director for a year or two? I went home and slept the whole time because of a cold.”

“…….”

His expression gradually hardened, and he muttered lowly,

“Damn, I thought it was real this time because he even told me the name of the hotel you went to.”

The director’s novel was detailed. How can such a strange person be so genius at designing? As I recalled the things I’d pondered throughout my time at the company, Mr. Yang shouted to the people behind him.

“He said it wasn’t a hotel. He said he slept at home because he had a cold.”

The employees showed disappointed expressions, reacting as if they’d expected as much. Then someone asked,

“Then, was the director also lying about the big building and all that? About Chae Minho building something downtown?”

Mr. Yang answered.

“Probably. Besides, it wasn’t Chae Minho who said that, but his maternal uncle, Mr. Kim Yibang. Seeing as the director finds Mr. Kim Yibang entertaining, I think he likes the director. He probably exaggerated by 1000%. Right, Chief Lee?”

“…….”

“Why aren’t you answering?”

Because it’s related to Mr. Kim Yibang. Come to think of it, the director threatened me that day, saying something about a building, but Mr. Kim Yibang, who was listening, didn’t refute it at all. Why? Mr. Kim Yibang looks like a man who’s never told a lie in his life, doesn’t he? If it wasn’t true, he would have naturally objected, wouldn’t he? But then again, it’s also absurd for an individual, not a corporation, to build a large building downtown……

“Didn’t you see Mr. Kim Yibang?”

I nodded, saying I did, and Mr. Yang asked lightly,

“What kind of person is he?”

“……A formidable one.”

“What? What did he say to you?”

“……If there’s no coffee, ask for roasted barley tea.”

Thwack. Mr. Yang stepped back from me.

“You haven’t recovered from your cold yet, have you?”

He looked at my forehead as if checking for a fever and added,

“From what you’re saying, he sounds like a funny guy. You were just surprised because he’s too similar to the director.”

If you saw him, you’d be even more surprised. However, I didn’t elaborate, saving the surprise of him meeting Mr. Kim Yibang. He was already moving on to another topic anyway.

“So, in the end, nothing happened between you and Chae Minho? I was thinking of going to watch since the director said you had a date on Wednesday……”

I flinched. Wait, how did the director know……! It must be Mr. Kim Yibang. I couldn’t understand the friendship between these two polar opposite personalities, but what mattered now was the unwelcome attention from the people at the company. If they saw Minho coming to the front of the company on Wednesday, and the director’s story got added to it, I would be the topic of conversation for years to come. I hurriedly went outside and took out my phone. With the urgent thought that I needed to contact Minho and change the meeting place, I was about to press the buttons, but there was a big problem. I didn’t know Minho’s phone number. A cold wind brushed past me, standing there blankly, like a character in a cartoon.

It seems that when you’re in a crisis, life doesn’t just let you die. I spent a whole day trying to contact Minho, but to no avail. Of course, I asked the director, but he only knew Mr. Kim Yibang’s contact information. The problem was that Mr. Kim Yibang was a very cautious person and never answered calls from unknown numbers. I postponed, for now, the blow to my pride of asking the director, “Please tell him to answer my call.” The method I used instead was to find Minho’s agency and somehow manage to get the contact information of the manager in charge of his Korean schedule. However, the conversation with the manager, which I’d obtained with much difficulty, ended in 25 seconds.

“I’m an old acquaintance of Chae Minho and I’d like to contact him……”

「Wow, another acquaintance? If you know him, contact him directly.」

Looking at the disconnected call, I thought of my last resort. I’ll just stake out near the company tomorrow, and when Minho appears, I’ll drag him away. I’d come to a comfortable conclusion, but help came from an unexpected source. An hour or two before closing time, Sungsu contacted me with an excited voice.

「Are you free after work? Actually, I got tickets to a dinner party for the company’s VIP guests. It’s hosted by the Golf Association, and Chae Minho is supposed to be there today……」

“I’ll definitely go.”

The banquet, held at a large hotel downtown, was bigger than I’d expected. Moreover, most of the attendees seemed to be elderly CEOs or wealthy young men in expensive suits. Sungsu and I stood still, observing from a distance near the entrance. Sungsu at least wore a suit, but I was in casual attire with a knit sweater and cotton pants, barely making do with a jacket. At times like these, I envied those who worked at companies with suit dress codes. Anyway, with so many people here, would I even be able to exchange a word with Minho?

“You’re lucky, Seoin. You wouldn’t look out of place even if you just walked in.”

What? I frowned and scanned him.

“What are you talking about? You’re wearing a suit.”

“What good is wearing a suit when I look this shabby? You have the face for it.”

Sungsu sighed and added quietly,

“Sigh, I just came because I was curious about Minho…… Did we make a mistake coming here? Minho won’t remember us anyway, right?”

“Um, there’s something I didn’t tell you, actually, I’ve already met Minho……”

“Minho, what?” The words “I’ve already met Minho” disappeared as I saw someone at the entrance to the banquet hall. Wait? Isn’t that Mooyoung? As I narrowed my eyes and scanned the hall, Sungsu followed my gaze and turned his head. And then,

“Huh?! Isn’t that…… Mooyoung?”

Yeah. As I nodded, Sungsu shook his head in disbelief.

“Even though it’s been 10 years, how can he be so shameless as to show his face after doing such a thing?”

He glanced at me cautiously at ‘such a thing,’ but added softly,

“Could he really be here to see Minho?”

“I don’t know.”

My vague answer was because he was greeting several people entering the hall. The people he faced were all middle-aged men in expensive suits with arrogant expressions that screamed, ‘I’m a high-ranking person.’ Mooyoung was also wearing a high-end suit that made him look like a businessman. He wore a soft, business-like smile on his face. When I saw him before at the bar, I thought his atmosphere had changed, but now he seemed like a different person. To think that Park Mooyoung, who seemed like he would live freely composing music for the rest of his life, had transformed into a businessman. Who could have imagined it? Mooyoung’s change was as surprising as Minho’s. How would Minho react to seeing Mooyoung like this? Would he like him even more because of this appearance? At least he’s much better than shabby me. I flinched, surprised by my uncharacteristic thoughts. Why am I comparing myself to Mooyoung, like an idiot? Berating myself inwardly, I finally tore my gaze away from him, when Sungsu’s explanation reached my ears.

“Wow, he really is a director. I heard that company was looking for investors lately, so I guess he’s out there doing sales himself.”

Really? As I responded casually, Sungsu nodded. His following words were dejected.

“I guess he’s good at everything.”

Inside the hall, round tables were lined up, and most of the seats were filled. Because of the feeling of being uninvited guests, we entered a little late and ended up sitting at an empty table near the entrance. While the boring introductions and speeches by association officials continued, the meal was served course by course. I searched for Minho and Mooyoung with my eyes, then gave up and asked Sungsu, who was devouring all the bread.

“So, did you want to see Minho?”

“Gulp…… Huh? Ah, not really……”

Sungsu gave an awkward laugh and scratched his head, which seemed even thinner than before.

“I mentioned at work that I knew Minho briefly in the past. The manager must have remembered that and gave me the tickets. He said I should go see an old friend since I’ve been down lately. Um, it was hard to refuse since he gave them to me out of concern.”

Well, anyone would worry if they saw him so noticeably thin. Handing him my portion of bread and saying, “Eat a lot,” I tried to comfort him, when he added in a hopeful voice,

“But who knows? Maybe Minho will remember us and give us an autograph. The program says Minho will go around to each table and greet everyone later. He’ll come here too, right? Wow, I’m excited. I even brought a notebook for autographs.”

Sungsu took out a spiral-bound notebook from his bag, the kind used in school.

“You can get one here too. I’ll tear it out for you later.”

“Well, actually, Minho and I……”

“Ah, Minho’s here.”

Sungsu suddenly interrupted me, but with the loud applause, I knew today’s main character had arrived. He was already standing at the microphone by the time I looked up from the front of the stage. And a brief greeting spread through the hall. It was truly brief. Just three or four sentences before he stepped down, so short that murmurs could be heard throughout the hall. But strangely, the murmurs were of amusement, not displeasure. Sungsu explained it.

“Wow, that’s a long greeting for him today.”

“That’s long?”

“Yeah. Minho rarely says more than ‘Thank you,’ whether it’s to the media or at gatherings. I guess he’s in a good mood today.”

If that’s considered a good mood, our director must be a walking adrenaline rush. It’s a habit that could come off as arrogant to others, but he makes the public accept it. Come to think of it, he came out early too. In that he revealed potential weaknesses in advance, I suddenly wondered if Minho might be smarter than I thought. Of course, having inherited Mr. Kim Yibang’s blood, he could just be rigidly honest. Again, with a round of applause, someone else stepped onto the stage. Perhaps the reason Minho’s short greeting didn’t matter was because of this person. Mr. Kim Yibang, introduced as Minho’s mentor and caddy, stood before the microphone. Then, he took a folded piece of paper with his greeting written on it from his pocket and unfolded it. Once, twice, thrice, four times. As the A3-sized white paper fully unfolded, Sungsu joked beside me,

“That’s a really big piece of paper. Haha, is he really going to read everything written there?”

……Damn it. Unfortunately, I was the only one who had foreseen the future and mentally prepared myself.