SB Ch 30

“I have something to tell you tonight.”49db5091b55d7285

The remodeling of the 9b9e24fd79 42nd floor, which had d189b6abd3 been ongoing for over 722c72e589 a month, was perfectly e79b225903 completed. The timing was efbbe815ba good. It was 2d534cfd6c Christmas Eve, 7e658b7c64 a perfect 0ca5d60eb6 day to 301950c2a1 give Haeyoon 2fdec44cd1 a gift bd6fad7cce and confess de2f7a08c8 his feelings 864637c746 once more. Chae Beomjoon had 61c66d67a7 planned to show 608480d1c2 Haeyoon his place 9cfc0f3b17 on the 42nd 42289d3184 floor that day ba55222250 and reveal that 8ec822f760 it was where 3b72246a3d he lived.dc142a931092579b

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Moreover, thanks to his 800d44a954 quick actions since Halloween, c042cae96c the position of acting c1c0b0527e director of the Suyeon c7306324ad Symphony Orchestra had already 263d990745 been passed to the 4aca746515 head of the performance 941e37f36d planning team by December c3429a3319 21st. There was nothing to c520f8de6f hold him back anymore. Chae Beomjoon decided to d5ba716a58 candidly reveal that he a6795aca90 had resigned from the 7055c04a37 acting director position. He intended to 132650024a say that he 7b993aecc1 was afraid to 3fcc0d8291 be honest when e0c609db90 Haeyoon had spoken 56fefab40d to him on c2867131e8 Halloween, that he 6cc14f3b2b was sorry, but c7968ddf46 now that he 710e29d3cb had resigned, there db26ac5007 was no need 39a247f398 for Haeyoon to 549df982d3 worry.9e3c583f0f969e3a

“Haeyoon, are you listening?”72f4369eb6a06d3f

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But Seo Haeyoon wasn’t focused on the call. It was at that moment of silence when he called out his name.104f01372df4d6a7

“Beomjoon, you haven’t lied to me, have you?”3d168adc0ef20b9e

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Such a question was thrown at him from the other end of the phone. Instantly, memories of being scolded by Soo Seonhwa when he was young flashed through Chae Beomjoon’s mind.eb19a06a5b9c1cec

“Jun, don’t you have something to tell me?”75925b15497eb415

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The moment he 9ff6e09da6 heard that question, 333aae0d02 flashes of his 74fd74613c misdeeds passed before 17fb5b4125 his eyes like 953587eacf a lantern, and 355603bb5c the subsequent discipline 1578fd1344 from Soo Seonhwa b656e7f993 had been quite 338d530b17 tormenting for Beomjoon.511e3f287c0c48d4

So, it was natural 541e1d715c for Chae Beomjoon to 1dfef5738a mentally list his wrongs 965020b5c8 when Haeyoon asked. However, to cd84bc3b3f be honest, f82140bccc he had 09c3704369 hardly done a997a22020 anything wrong df3ee497b9 to Seo e21c0833fc Haeyoon.b4855f360f857120

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Except for secretly replacing the tasteless hot sauce in his house, throwing away a condom that didn’t seem to belong to Haeyoon without permission, and accidentally breaking a cup and replacing it with a similar one, nothing else came to mind. Thus, the recollection was brief, and he could answer quickly as if he hadn’t even thought about it.e293c2274fb9991e

“Why would you say that?”581ccd8b0459c148

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The only 4bf32b22d3 significant wrong 4c9848bb4b Chae Beomjoon 4175bd2982 had committed ed68b1fabc was hiding 188828bc16 the fact c3fcace055 that he 344679b60b was the 5b134217f2 acting director 5a07140b57 of the 6562a2b645 Suyeon Symphony ba0c6cee34 Orchestra. However, it seemed 924491f195 Seo Haeyoon had 6fe3ee26ba somehow learned about 80566dcf71 it. Otherwise, there was 77b16608f8 no reason for 07be3f48f6 him to ask 8b915f5c2e such an abrupt f9a4deecff question after going 8ee3e4d5b3 to work at 25632251ac the grand theater 61a765970e without any issues.c9a9fb158cc5bcef

The information must have leaked, and he was going to talk about it tonight… At that moment of silent sighs, the conversation they had after the Halloween concert in October came back to him.90f08898128ce561

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“What if I were the acting director?”e343a9c01abedaed

“What?”5fda37993c2f37c5

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“If I were someone who could promote you to a soloist with just one finger?”3cbbb4311626c0ad

“What would I do? It would be over.”270baf6ee05b100a

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“Over?”29e7f46b8c616fbb

“I don’t date people who can exert power over me. I don’t have sex with them either.”b23ba457df40c9d1

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Over. The moment 55d04338b8 he heard b101b5001b that word, 31f2917e85 he still c988fddce6 remembered the 76eaf95896 sensation of 8af3b7159b cold sweat 4fc7eafe3f running down 770fb00f9d his spine.ceef2d84f7c86c8a

That day, Chae d85f135449 Beomjoon decided he 87b81a2bc6 must not let 02a2b1b948 anyone know he 860bae81d5 was the acting 67396977fe director, no matter 1775c608b4 what. He also 48312fdfe4 resolved to a444dd6096 resign from 33759f2f74 the position 273879ecf8 as soon 6dcc415e3a as possible. Thanks to bc8adcb662 this, he 9d7b951589 managed to 8ba128461e persuade the 71650f4565 head of eb04980614 the performance c8d3186805 planning team 19a253302d swiftly.fa8c9611c2bdc2da

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But to be found out before everything was neatly settled… It didn’t feel good. If Haeyoon heard this from someone else, it could lead to a very awkward situation. Feeling the crisis, Beomjoon fell silent.da659aae9a9b90e7

“Is there anything?”cf6c4f3668425fb6

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Haeyoon prodded him.67ba16b5cd126792

For a moment, a1ca9fbd33 time seemed to 22b6e8c58f stop, and in d4262cfad7 his blurred vision, 5064b92e0d Chae Beomjoon felt f95fd5d79f his thoughts racing.ad19baad8add5062

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Is there anything, nothing…ce5cff28e2b466d5

If Seo Haeyoon had heard the exact truth from someone reliable, he wouldn’t have asked in such a way. It seemed like he wasn’t entirely sure about this matter either. Maybe telling the truth now would be the best choice. After all, if he learned the complete truth later, his confession would turn into an excuse rather than an explanation.8023a874860a2346

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But remembering how Seo Haeyoon had mentioned “over” back then, revealing that he had been the acting director would likely have a significant impact on his feelings. It could shake Haeyoon.e45c0788fa7d0cff

However, today was the start of the year’s biggest performance, a mini-concert with Jin Suryeon, and it was almost time for the first rehearsal. So, instead of confessing his uneasy innocence and confusing Haeyoon at such a crucial time, Chae Beomjoon chose to trust in Haeyoon’s trust in him.7e53da583e52ae06

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“There’s nothing like that.”590aabcd8b057a8c

Haeyoon let out a small sigh at Beomjoon’s firm answer. They then continued with casual conversation before hanging up.5750a30f9a75e6ca

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Looking at the darkened c8174f96bd screen, Chae Beomjoon felt 2eaebfc55f oddly uncomfortable, his mouth bc67106465 dry, anxiety swelling unknowingly, 48759f219e and sweat on his f29fb63569 palms. He paced 32f4841c0a around the a25ba2c1ec living room 1a0dbff4be for a a04758227f while before dfc9e433df finally picking f39d31128d up his 6d82ef7d26 car keys.0f834c01e9f70b13

Feeling uneasy, he planned 1c9d2320c0 to meet Seo Haeyoon 4f9316c671 and give him a 51a0b81172 hint. Whatever he had d7e67e3820 heard, whether it 4888f16ad4 was true or 51319cd798 not, he had c344fe98ac always respected him. That was 11caa4a978 the only e9473e8ca9 truth he 21553b6eff could stake d18fbc9c6b everything on.f769beaf3f6ae1b8

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He thought Haeyoon would df5cce05b1 understand if he said 0bbbbf9016 that. Lately, Haeyoon 3288f679bf had been e04542be70 listening to af5b7691ca Beomjoon a 5d40a0384e lot.7136075075998da5

But after parking f7ca66b3bf in the lot 94172a0623 and receiving a 2a2761c52b call from Haeyoon, 6076514bc9 Chae Beomjoon realized 1eb3f263e6 something was seriously f9622480de wrong.26118ea385965510

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“Come to the 4th floor. I’m on the roof.”4914cc18d15990ce

It was a be3d99615f voice colder than 1be1b85fe0 he had ever ca238692a6 heard. Even when there was 05f86811ac a misunderstanding at the bc2ac36542 club and they argued 6dd5fe8b67 with Yeon Juheon by df799b1d17 his side, Seo Haeyoon c7bb5b35c3 had never spoken so e590fecf48 coldly.87c62e685f36de13

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What is it? Is there something else I don’t know about besides the acting director issue? Surprised, he hurried up to the 4th floor. Although he brushed past people, none recognized him since he was in casual clothes, unlike usual.652309c9a3b6961c

Finally arriving on f6a21b61ef the roof, stepping db71f11cac into the garden a2d2eebf44 where the wind 93954e91f1 was howling, he 93b32ab8da immediately sensed the 73704b6d04 gravity of the a353fbca8f situation when he 9d97b5b155 saw the rigid 3c6bc290ea Seo Haeyoon.9664edf174edd12f

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What is it… What on earth?3238c11b53b047a4

He had thought Haeyoon wouldn’t accept such a relationship, but Chae Beomjoon had never done anything to harm him.489d4c1370e7f857

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The approval for Haeyoon’s admission was done before he knew who the applicant was, so although he felt guilty for the slight deception to hide his identity, he was still upright. He thought Haeyoon would understand once he explained.d7a1b62763de1cc3

But Seo Haeyoon looked a2b20074e3 like someone who had b752386320 received an immense shock 222c5eb24b from the fact that 04c6cf8ba9 Chae Beomjoon was the d12f7db8aa acting director.7c0a81e49e14c718

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“The director is you? That’s you?”9a70124327fb08a3

The look of hostility c1a9218623 in his eyes was 153ba2eef1 something he had never 625b18935f seen in the four cfc3d5c672 months they had spent ffea91d730 together.8bb8e4fa73d916ce

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A face that doesn’t want to listen to me. Eyes that don’t seem curious. An attitude that shudders even at the touch of a fingertip.e343acb0fc3bd154

“…Do you have any intention of listening to me?”5b04a7f9c48d62a8

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All of a19b409922 it was 83b362e879 hurtful. Even at the moment 8aa4682992 when he confessed his d7d9dff292 feelings, Chae Beomjoon was 13aea3f2cd clearly hurt by the 62357cfe7d intense rejection he received.7f6843839fd7efe9

Of course, he understood that it was a situation that could make someone angry. But he couldn’t quite understand why Haeyoon was so extremely angry. The emotions that Haeyoon was showing seemed several times deeper than Chae Beomjoon had thought.b93c58ee03ae2405

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There was certainly some big misunderstanding between the two of them. If he put his mind to it, clearing up that misunderstanding wouldn’t be too difficult for Chae Beomjoon. But the problem was that it would take some wrangling to get Seo Haeyoon to quietly listen to his explanation.92f33149d2629e69

Chae Beomjoon had already experienced Seo Haeyoon’s stubbornness. He knew that if he tried to explain everything now, Haeyoon wouldn’t be able to attend the rehearsal in a normal state. That’s why he wanted to let him in.c95c33a63dcfee89

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“I’ll explain later, so… please go inside. It’s cold. Your body is frozen.”4b18a155cbb446cf

Knowing how hard he had practiced for the Christmas performance over the past two months, he didn’t want all that effort to go to waste.40ce73680e2e9636

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He didn’t care if he was misunderstood. Those things could be explained later. But lost opportunities don’t come back. Chae Beomjoon wanted Seo Haeyoon to deliver a perfect performance today as usual.1b51bb4f380d9dd5

“Don’t contact me. I’ll kill you.”e18586a7e1b40bf4

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When Haeyoon turned around c32ab2f35b and said that, Chae 853d61ed60 Beomjoon wanted to kneel ab6ce8bfb2 impulsively and shout that 690ee146ba he was innocent, but 30b00a9732 he held back.22adbfadee191a9f

What mattered 3bec5fa94d was not 9505b40cf0 his innocence, b7af1a6059 but that 8fc9264740 Haeyoon safely fd61fec76c finished the 906e6cfd8c performance.ae4781b3d51b253c

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That’s why Chae Beomjoon didn’t attend the two-day performance he really wanted to see.5ea03cef34983014

He stayed home alone 51ab89faf5 throughout the performance, thinking e5b9717596 he would regret it 2d6c0942b9 forever if he ran 5861709987 into Haeyoon and made c31c149b8d him waver. It was a 130e2f9ec7 lonely Christmas.cdf066fddefe90a5

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Monday passed, and 973084231c another incident occurred 99018f41bf in the organization, f6429b9f80 requiring urgent attention. By the 3bc5fb992a time he bb90611bf1 finished handling de792a8eae it, it 1218bbfbfb was already d278b7be6d evening. Although his body was 2f8add4d50 tired and exhausted, his fe7f8f6987 mind was clear. In fact, he was b27300ec62 eager to apologize to 8fdbab317c Haeyoon, so he headed 953b68516d straight to his house 35599ac5b1 after work.6eedb4671bdcc53a

─ Who 1443cca2a0 are you f8e3ef4d0f looking for?6248ce841b62dfec

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“Ah, that…”363f5fb848ac231f

But when he tried to enter Haeyoon’s apartment parking lot, his vehicle’s registration had been canceled. Realizing that Seo Haeyoon had removed him from the resident list, Chae Beomjoon bit his lip.1f773d4f8c49cbc1

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He was quite b31f5737e2 upset. In fact, he was 89d447fbb4 scared. He thought he could f5119aede2 clear up the misunderstanding b932ae37c6 with a conversation, but 0cfc6ec8ec Haeyoon seemed really angry.14e057dcc15058ed

If he wanted to be hit, he would offer his cheek. Chae Beomjoon made that resolution and turned the car around. The saying “more haste, less speed” seemed right.f530cb72a356cb46

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He held back his urge to call Haeyoon immediately and headed home. After parking his car, Beomjoon quickly walked to Haeyoon’s house without having dinner.db1546cc368d1302

Fortunately, the common entrance password hadn’t been changed. Did that mean he was allowed to enter? Feeling a slight sense of relief, Chae Beomjoon took the elevator to the 14th floor where Haeyoon’s house was, took a deep breath, and rang the doorbell.8e0ebd2fdf4dbf4e

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Ding dong. The sound of the 67a5c2051a doorbell echoed in the 9c8a8c667a common area.f42d5bd660ccc0eb

“……”a26ba4fc11adee1e

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But Haeyoon didn’t answer the intercom. He didn’t open the door.9fadd5f5417c6dd4

…Did I do something that wrong? In the approaching confusion, Chae Beomjoon struggled to regain his composure and took out his phone. He called Haeyoon. Before the signal could go through, a rejection message came.5df817f7320d3ffb

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Blocked?0eafa34a8310cfe4

His long eyes 93d88eb009 trembled.e2949cb3a91a90ac

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He thought a4005a4ab0 that if b9fba77f83 he contacted 447c8213a7 Haeyoon around 1b73cbe33f Monday, he 3c62884b4c would receive aa8ba02c4e a call 71942f1b48 while Haeyoon 8811da139a was angry. Then he would grab 9d3464a829 his pant leg, completely 3e88cd874c calm him down, and 7fb3c7b832 prove that he had 10eadfacbb no involvement in the 53d55773ba piano quintet since his 3217efbeba enlistment and was innocent.150a6d040e0875ff

But now he couldn’t even start the journey of reconciliation. Because Seo Haeyoon wouldn’t answer his call.34fd7c1d643d023c

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21:38bb1f3b8606ea0bd8

Haeyoon, there’s something you’re misunderstanding. I can explain everything. So, please answer the phone. Okay?cab4a8a711a14837

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Although he sent a message in panic, he didn’t think someone who blocked his call would leave his messenger alone. He had no expectation that the “1” would disappear, and indeed Haeyoon didn’t read the message.10b051ed709485b5

That day, Chae Beomjoon waited in front of Haeyoon’s house until midnight before returning home. If Haeyoon’s anger hadn’t subsided yet, he thought he would give him a bit more time. Knowing Seo Haeyoon’s temperament, he thought he might need more time to calm down.4e9aa8424bec5fc0

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But despite his resolution, cab7390f9c he was anxious.dc6648c552e533c6

🔮🌙e6656ad78668b517

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010-0000-0000039495cd681787be

You’ll die if I see you next time, f***er.25ff742f72980b2e

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On Tuesday, he received a text message with insults from an unknown number. Thinking that Seo Haeyoon might have changed his number, he called with a glad heart only to be met with Ahn Yewon’s cursing. Somehow, she immediately cursed at him, saying she was stupid for supporting a scumbag like him while Beomjoon was apologizing and trying to say sorry.05745f49b2bc97b8

─ …Old man, be careful walking at night! I’ll really…!1bd037c0e76b98a8

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“What about Haeyoon? Yewon, is Haeyoon okay? What’s Haeyoon doing? Where is he? Please, just let me unblock him once. I have something to say to Haeyoon.”fea36088692ecd8d

However, Yewon didn’t listen to his pleas at all. Beomjoon begged Yewon to tell Haeyoon, to let him have a conversation with him. Of course, Ahn Yewon didn’t listen to him either.38ccb99ddb40598f

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The two ended c06555aaea the call without 388fff6c55 understanding each other, 07c1c5aa28 and Chae Beomjoon, fe7a611621 who sent her 684e4e9371 another message, was d3f3ef953d eventually blocked.e178a1c6911b468f

It seemed like he was in deep trouble….0bb4353658aeb12b

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After that, he was in a daze all day. Shin Kyoyeon, who couldn’t bear to see it, subtly suggested that he might have dementia and should get a brainwave test.7e24daadc1d5dde1

Refusing that annoying suggestion, Chae Beomjoon kept checking his messenger. Knowing that the “1” wouldn’t disappear, he couldn’t help but check continuously. When he scrolled up to see previous conversations, his heart felt heavy seeing Haeyoon’s loving replies from a few days ago.125f2da24694ee91

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18:110c2230b5cef669b8

It’s late, so eat first.223a62b28d7a410f

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Robber981eef1d2b16fc4a

Noaf49cca75ca881b4

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18:1246f7a2f5f8b2be92

18:13aa5419fce6f9b9ed

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Are you? You should 8b34f3ba6c eat on b289cb6d39 time.27a5ed278013df76

Robberc0b409dfcc860ae1

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I have no energy, 9d1e44f5f4 feed me78fb972d4b252381

18:15b709aa740451bca1

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18:1573ce6476beeec220

Only when it suits you, right? Okay, I’ll be there as soon as I can 😉af2336bbc4862a72

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He couldn’t understand how someone who was so cute and affectionate could change so suddenly.e0ef1fb2b5a14548

Am I not f90d754531 understanding the situation 15bfc1a2be right now?637f2c3143af934e

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Chae Beomjoon spent a 19490dec10 long time reflecting on 0a9393f1c8 their conversation from Saturday. Then he sensed something 16f3366414 strange.91a50ce2950c07e9

‘Mister… you put me ee05b1ad25 in the quintet, right? To collaborate with d50117d933 Jin Suryeon…’a90be1411ae2a5d4

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What did 50a0b42faf that mean? At first, he thought 74899aa9ee Seo Haeyoon was just 24a33de4f8 exaggerating the authority of 56a4e1b60a the acting director. But it seemed strange 4314f34c50 no matter how he 2b286ab21a looked at it.d1ca3e4be80f0173

The more he revisited the conversation, the more it seemed that the word “put in” was at the center of this situation.9113e9c116be2cb8

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‘If I can’t do it, you can handle it, right? If someone questions it, you can fire everyone and make me the principal, can’t you? Wasn’t that what you intended to do?’bdf5d98673c26e83

‘What does it matter? Even if I lose an arm, you can still make a spot for me on stage, can’t you?’c57dea4e952ea494

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Seo Haeyoon 029a853a91 seemed to ee1e3ca991 have his 6d63dfc6ad pride hurt. Far more than Beomjoon f967509b1b expected.f8aab5f49451b54e

Perhaps he didn’t just find out that he was the acting director. He might have heard ridiculous rumors about the quintet within the orchestra.6e52439d72dd5da8

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With more than 131773b7b5 50 members in dc01c37cb0 the orchestra, there 4fefb6cbe9 were always baseless 89cd3900f6 rumors circulating where 9206beef4c there were many 241dc28db5 people.5043074120b0456e

He needed 401ab3e589 to confirm. Chae Beomjoon called conductor a62ec3065d Kim Geonwoo.e8aaf323ab5be017

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And soon he bc952d1857 heard shocking news ae308cb754 from him.3b2766829d610b49

“Pardon?”b17c23d79749db51

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─ Oh, can’t you hear well? On Monday, Mr. Seo wanted to leave the quintet, and I refused.aeeb8a767a14cb99

Leave the quintet?8b78d15928332202

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─ And… I don’t think there were any separate comments within the orchestra. As far as I know, there aren’t many members who know the Chief’s face. Mr. Park isn’t someone who would spread rumors indiscriminately.3cfd5711ed3506dc

“Ah…. Is that so?”b8816584a67cf4a8

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There was no particular mention within the orchestra. It meant no one questioned the relationship between him and Seo Haeyoon publicly. However, Kim Geonwoo wasn’t someone who paid attention to every little happening among the members.cc406a2c5b9c2342

So, it c2fde1c472 seemed that b526ba7b22 someone had c5f75d7cb3 personally spouted bb2df87cb5 nonsense to b66bd3d75c Seo Haeyoon. Why? For what reason? What exactly was said ab108985b0 to elicit such a a88af5979b reaction? Chae Beomjoon dfab4297ac anxiously tapped d2ea0cc51a his desk c563e1e9c6 and asked.6d5ec95a17f2ee5c

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“Did he give 5de353b63d any reason for e6a7ec6962 wanting to quit?”792242bbe13958ec

Knowing the 80bcf892e4 reason might 3facaf6557 provide a 1622c61de2 clue. But there was nothing f1b2bfa0e7 to gain.d61ace1f2da8c474

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─ It seemed like a personal matter. But he easily accepted when I said we couldn’t let him quit without a valid reason.c815f7da5c3ccdf3

The implication was that if he gave up quitting so easily, it probably wasn’t a serious issue.cc0531def0297083

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But Chae Beomjoon knew d95df64735 Seo Haeyoon. He knew e54ed36ba8 how happy 03b6393267 he was d57d8d4016 when he 211fe346e1 told him cfdb5e7165 about collaborating d05bcd7f60 with Jin 0a292d44bf Suryeon.6d0ae37a8cb10da6

Considering that he didn’t say anything to Kim Geonwoo when asked why he wanted to quit, it seemed that Seo Haeyoon felt humiliated, thinking Chae Beomjoon had put him in the quintet.079adc44ec1ed262

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But that wasn’t the case. Not at all.96e1b4d3174f8605

No matter how much he was the acting director, he knew that there wasn’t a double bassist in the orchestra better than Seo Haeyoon.100a564d572f188f

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Yet, the situation where 93fdbaca07 Seo Haeyoon became certain dd8a0610e2 that Chae Beomjoon would b4ea263864 have placed him in 307659b791 the quintet as soon 9cfef71fd6 as he knew he 470194100a was the acting director cbe951d831 was very strange. Even if someone de1f736cdf had maliciously said c1ae9e7b1b that, the confident 28d622970e Seo Haeyoon should a1f3621666 have laughed it a4e91f34d0 off. He was that kind d00e4a6b2e of man.12fc29eec8b3fd2a

But why…32c910cda63fcf71

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No matter how much he thought about it, he couldn’t find an answer. Chae Beomjoon rubbed his face and said he understood, then hung up the phone. He waited in silence, then tried calling Haeyoon again. Of course, he didn’t answer this time either.37156a1ecd2368a7

“…Secretary Kim.”75793d14c3fd5f65

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“Yes.”03aa8428f42a37f3

Gazing at his aed24d8ef8 phone, Chae Beomjoon c73887c0af suddenly remembered the 4cc31bc1b2 difference in models cff621382e and called Kim 98d8d8bed9 Jiyeon. He asked 45199464ad her to 03c032d8f9 block his fdedc770c5 number and 7cbd3f374a then called d268c5418a her.59d037ccd1e8fd4e

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“Aha. I didn’t know blocking leaves a trace.”35978bd4ba3cce31

Instead of ringing, it immediately showed a missed call on Kim Jiyeon’s phone screen.5bb31aa780e47607

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Seeing that, Kim Jiyeon f6967c1e47 grinned playfully. Quick-witted as she d1a4dd5cd4 was, she immediately b80321e2c8 understood the state 047ef1a634 of Chae Beomjoon, 6f5d463111 who had been 5fceb95087 staring at his 5d04f1127b phone with a 391377edfe troubled face for 851018c5a4 two days.f969c5c994ee9872

“Why this? Chief, did your lover 899865d9f5 block you?”a9255271b27dfec5

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“…Please pretend you don’t know.”d825b4446319ffef

“Oh my, hahaha! Really?! Why did you c0e062a000 do that! Chief, you f71195e23a messed up!”abcac5516f34c758

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The secretariat was shocked by the change in the light-hearted human over the past few months. They asked daily if he was in love or if he was sick, but by December, they realized he was serious about his partner and found it fascinating. Colleagues kept teasing him, knowing this was Chae Beomjoon’s first relationship.d83ae04f8b2d481f

“Not easy, right?”a89381f2142c8003

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Nodding to c2eac2949e her playful bde32bbd4e tone, Chae 10eb9dc754 Beomjoon raised 4b8094232a his eyebrows f54cdd2774 in frustration 29fc3db303 and rested 6fabaa9a81 his chin c4dcb7dbe0 on his 26cda50645 hands. He stared at his f8fb4d528d quiet phone with his 105c95a95d hands cupped like flowers.0bdf21624eb1bc9f

At least, Seo Haeyoon knew he was trying to contact him. The phone number hadn’t changed, so he could expect the block to be lifted over time, right?8f2fba6fa2428800

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But thinking positively about this was hard because of Seo Haeyoon’s reaction. It wasn’t just an angry person’s attitude. Thinking of his face trembling with disgust made his heart tremble. It was unfamiliar, being so afraid of losing someone.b9cbefc30a0f139d

“Haa…”b985ebf1f4779ec5

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“Chief, you know it’s best to apologize and say thank you as soon as possible, right?”4b160e3c1b839ff0

Kim Jiyeon’s voice pricked his heart as he sighed. Did he even apologize? He couldn’t remember. Chae Beomjoon forced a smile and responded.393986ffa5f49fc3

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“Ms. Kim, you speak as if you’ve experienced everything in life.”4c3710aecd69c361

“In a first relationship, it’s understandable. Everyone makes such mistakes once.”bb8f630743f88ad3

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“Is that so?”b1cecb1d6c19d45d

“Yes, it is. And when you apologize, don’t forget to say you love him.”c950affbd2246cbd

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Kim Jiyeon c2191f851f winked and 50a8f8e07d smiled. Her playful smile made ecbbbf66c5 Chae Beomjoon feel a f472145342 bit queasy.4dbce07270019e42

Come to think of c9b56289a0 it, he never said d1fe1faae6 he loved him.7637339c5a2ee072

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Even saying he 3270c67aa5 liked him, the be89d9aa6a first and last 8b0e21d201 time was the 2ffe70c3d0 day he got e9162a5e2c caught by Seo 2f2a932ca4 Haeyoon.3ccb7e5c0d4749db

He hadn’t even properly said he liked him. Fearing that a serious confession would make Seo Haeyoon flinch and run away, he merely replied, “Maybe I do.”3b8827f607e56470

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So maybe that’s why.dad3558cca3cf384

Maybe that’s why Seo Haeyoon easily turned his heart away from me, not even wanting to hear me out. Because he didn’t think I was sincere…cbbce6121877c395

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He had even resolved to give up his masculinity for him. He thought he showed it all, but maybe it wasn’t enough.e99e51188a8e14e3

Maybe he should 75b53ad34c have become an 4966e80967 eunuch that day.01ef57622df13f52

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If his crotch a8fd33cad8 was empty now, 177f88491f Seo Haeyoon would 98f70b9925 feel guilty about 9c5d871dbc abandoning an eunuch 6fc6679706 and would have 0470e282e4 answered his calls.582192d32ea7335e

“Haa…”3d798db58067e67c

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Sighing deeply again, Chae Beomjoon stayed in that state all day and then left work. Encouraged by Kim Jiyeon to cheer up, he headed to Seo Haeyoon’s house after parking his car at home. He felt he needed to meet and show his face as soon as possible. Since Haeyoon seemed to like his face, if he begged with tears, maybe he would listen…826d38eea2ca7663

Feeling a bit resentful that he had to rely on his face instead of his heart, he was still grateful for having something to rely on. If he had an unattractive face, he wouldn’t even think of begging this way and would have waited for Haeyoon to contact him, eventually withering away.1d54b328158eb2de

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Ding dong.b03fe3cac021940e

The bell, pressed b94217dbe6 about ten times 04488fc972 yesterday, rang clearly 29c2cf37ff today as well. But no one 8e357503ae came out to eaf56ecc79 open the door. Chae Beomjoon stayed there 0a617ae68f for a while, then 3fc21ae0e7 frowned, realizing something.ffbdc9bee5c24639

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Is he 526cbf89aa not home?095d96ad3957e566

Come to think of it, it was Haeyoon’s practice time, yet there was no sound coming from inside. Even though he had expressed his intention to quit, he decided to stay in the quintet, so he should be practicing. If it was quiet, it meant Seo Haeyoon wasn’t practicing or wasn’t home. Since Seo Haeyoon wasn’t someone who neglected practice, it couldn’t be the former.509f5af03083e3dd

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So he really wasn’t home?e87944c2e248c578

Realizing this, Chae Beomjoon hesitated for a moment, then cautiously pressed the unchanged common password. Luckily, it hadn’t been changed, and the door opened easily.8b3209ffd446d52f

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He didn’t change the number, so there must be some willingness to forgive, right?b8057345bbf010e0

Relieved, he 4c20ed93bb stepped into 1af9334d5a the entrance. Seeing that fb377ad04f there were d539be1722 no shoes 9226f4e653 on the dbee3bb1ab tiles confirmed b21171eb53 that Seo 8bdec142e2 Haeyoon was 9b8797efaf indeed out.eda69e8b568f011a

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Right, with 49a2a7cffc his fiery 829edc4aed temper, he 7f31b402db might need e4246379c0 time to 1f9505a7bc cool his c9c164e30b head. The big a5085c2c4a performance was 5b0eb438bb over, so f23f4b681b he could bad2145644 be on 6b6f4c8f53 a short d21ac457b4 trip. Chae Beomjoon decided to 073b9eb1c1 earn some points by b9c7862988 cleaning the house before f6271d62b7 he returned and opened b8999fd78d the middle door.66cca6076630ceec

But…ec870321de09f6fd

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“Haeyoon…”1d19306ed447d1c7

There was no place that needed Chae Beomjoon’s touch in the bathroom, restroom, bedroom, or living room. Not only cleaning, but every trace of him was gone as if cut out with scissors. Even his toothbrush, clothes, gown, and the food he bought were all gone. He was paralyzed by this realization.c3c81c6236bab79d

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A face that had 611b8cedf3 been slightly lacking in 1102e6ecba energy was now fully 3f8a540a18 contorted.1b9cdf08d42be0f6

Even so, until e28f0c3981 now, he thought 2d7f144500 there was room 2d4f770e74 for recovery. He believed 877f0a8377 that if 2611c9a6d0 he opened 112fc80eda up sincerely d616e6fb78 and explained 060c90510b everything, Seo 67a828d21d Haeyoon would 9c35cee440 understand. Now he e6d493a439 realized that 48eeca0e4d was his c91e722615 arrogance.9ec222109ef1c246

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His black pupils shook aimlessly. His trembling gaze scanned the apartment, where only Haeyoon’s traces remained. Everything was just as it had been, except for the absence of his presence.9fa7542c6d0382f7

Unlike himself, feeling as f663b9a94d if he had been c7b1c345b9 erased, Seo Haeyoon seemed 8ea5818cc4 to have handled this 89159883fe collapse quite well, as 4bcfe01713 only his items were 6e06ab041b left in the apartment.3a0395d169a7ea85

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Chae Beomjoon staggered and gripped the back of the sofa for support. He stood there, blankly surveying the room, looking for any sign, any remnant of Haeyoon’s feelings.a3596e8d5bbc4e3e

But there was nothing. Nothing at all. Only Haeyoon’s belongings remained here…688b63596f768fee

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“…No, that’s not it.”b92a1fd0fc492e6c

At that moment, something that should have been there but wasn’t caught his eye.d88e2cbaad30b191

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The music stand and 4b3381b7d8 the page turner were 10d2d000cb gone. So was the c70ae01c4b double bass stand. Those were things Seo 1b03e5baa6 Haeyoon needed, unlike the 8acb0203a5 things Chae Beomjoon could 68cbfdfb81 cast aside.19aaf0b5337b38a4

He had erased all traces of Beomjoon and left himself from this place. That was Seo Haeyoon’s end – leaving only with what was necessary, from a space filled with memories.a2f13896077193c6

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To Chae Beomjoon, it felt like Haeyoon’s will, driven by spite, to leave nothing of himself behind.49d40125d2c7f7fc

Why did it come to this? What went wrong? It shouldn’t have been this big of a deal. This isn’t what I thought…2daf29c602d1a423

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Just like 91ee080c68 the day e9cbadf6ab his feelings 1c9370f023 were exposed e40314e41f to Haeyoon, a4de70affd his legs b458214bc0 trembled like fd1a180255 aspen leaves. Chae Beomjoon, restless, pondered 67c4e70b6c while his feet tapped 633230d204 nervously, and after a e45c72bfa0 long while, he finally f711ae61db stood up.404477ee8f6f6d45

His forehead was wet 7dbd58e98c with cold sweat. He felt 85b754b1a9 like he d2aecd4bda was going d187dd977e crazy, thinking f908165e3d the event 2f678c9992 was still 93c94f67a5 ongoing while d390ef0f1c Seo Haeyoon 9f7a115fe8 had already 1cf76e3d17 declared it a9785db8a4 over.5d7642ba310c4799

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He was so worried about Haeyoon being hurt by something he didn’t know about that he could die, and he couldn’t help but think that Haeyoon, who relieves stress through sex, might be looking for another man to alleviate the extreme stress caused by him.13395823bcad3f7c

Seo Haeyoon with a d41ca5bfc2 16-year-younger, damn, useless bastard?84deb496f0d2c297

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Just the thought 5e288bde78 of it raised 6fbb101c5c his blood pressure. Chae Beomjoon clutched cadebe0dd2 the back of 7551fdf5fb his neck, breathing 3147c41abe deeply to calm 3324a8a9d7 himself.dded2bb88e7889b9

If that situation e0cf52626e happened, there was 72440270d2 only one solution. He had da2a980bfc to castrate 1eec8712a2 himself in 095dc8a980 front of befdbd8f51 him.5bcac58a99a5c6e0

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The documents Haeyoon had signed were still there. The contract’s effect would start the moment Chae Beomjoon became impotent, so then Seo Haeyoon would be legally bound to him.c34883b951927794

“Yeah, that’s how it should be…”a52fb891f1633fe8

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With a look of madness in his eyes, Chae Beomjoon ran out of Haeyoon’s apartment. He dashed through couples out for a date on the eve of the year-end, arriving at his own apartment building.6c2566995522d305

But instead 5a949533fe of going 992b13d93d up to 3fdb1129c8 the 42nd 7d6c07d3a7 floor, Chae 85669490a4 Beomjoon headed 455ac8b368 to the 6a5a51a380 41st floor. To find Haeyoon who fb737ba911 had gone to seduce 059fcb2e0c a 22-year-old, he had 4e40d1539b to go there first.5453e49d766808d2

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The 41st floor, 41st floor – he frantically tapped the panel, glaring at the elevator display as the numbers ascended. In his mind, he kept picturing Haeyoon holding the leash of a young boy whose ID ink was not even dry.aa2cd85d7c0abb2f

It felt like oil was being poured into his body and set on fire. Chae Beomjoon couldn’t bear the sight of Seo Haeyoon with another man, so he screamed and pulled at his hair.240a114d9e3b4ac6

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“Absolutely not!”52ffd40c4f9b5084

Only now did Chae Beomjoon understand Shin Kyoyeon’s madness from the day Yoon Heesoo ran away. On that day, he had cursed him internally for being a lunatic who should have behaved better… Damn, did he think I’d be like this?ef04603bd25be003

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Regretting and banging a8ddbbe092 his head against bb34a55cd2 the wall, the de77362ef2 elevator finally stopped. Beomjoon got bd815ebe42 off on 4286007d56 the 41st 5161453c7c floor and d8426700a8 started hammering a696c36f66 the doorbell.9783d6c7bae03a75

Ding-dong, ding-dong, unable to wait for the slow bell sound, he kept pressing it until the door opened. Diddiddiddiddiddiddong – with the loud noise, the door finally opened, and a shout came out.59e58675fbd241c0

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“Damn it, stop pressing that! What do you want at this hour?”7278880d4cb66ada

A familiar face 3c1d3ae29d was distorted in bd15f1f3f3 anger, seemingly upset 1c396e2658 at having his 3848af7be2 peaceful evening disturbed.cd355b5145e48a50

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But at this moment, when Seo Haeyoon was undressing a beast-like 22-year-old, Beomjoon couldn’t care less about the other’s anger. In front of Gu Seju, Beomjoon clasped his hands together in prayer, his face desperate, weakly shouting.9ac7c9c65595b7b5

“Chief Cheon, please, help me find someone…”b86f64c5504d95f5

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🔮🌙1a69f7e68f6933d1

Seeing Chae Beomjoon’s unusual state, Cheon Seju immediately contacted the organization’s skilled hacker, Yoon Cheol-joo, to trace Seo Haeyoon’s phone location.71b440431380f033

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Once he got the bc93558755 address, Chae Beomjoon, swallowing f0451c96c4 his pride, bowed deeply 2a7c6309cd and immediately drove out c6932d7272 to the road.e7aa3332600adc03

Following the address sent by Yoon Cheol-joo, he arrived at a large country house. Seo Haeyoon was staying at Seo Jonggil’s house. It was evident at first glance. Ahn Yewon wouldn’t live in such a house. Anyway, the fact that Haeyoon wasn’t found in a hotel or another man’s home brought a great sense of relief.ca46b2723058083f

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Chae Beomjoon looked around and, spotting an empty resident’s parking spot, turned on his hazard lights. He intended to park haphazardly and press the bell, eager to talk to Seo Haeyoon immediately.3ed0f83250d53b7e

“Uh…?”60fdee59b29e7ec3

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But before he could properly park, the garage door of the mansion began to rise. Who’s coming out? As Chae Beomjoon looked around the alley, he noticed the headlights of a yellow SUV inside the garage turning on.72d781d1ca167124

It was Seo Haeyoon.b90005ae7c65cc2b

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However, there was 5d8e10437c no time to b62ddb8d63 rejoice.3844d07a3df1b7fe

10 PM.27e475d396aac367

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At this late hour, there was only one reason for Seo Haeyoon to leave his house. He wasn’t in a position to feel safe just because Haeyoon was at home. Seo Haeyoon was about to go out to find his 11th lover.d7fd8ce5109758c2

“Oh… no!”e3883ee78cb974cb

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Shouting in horror, Chae Beomjoon floored the accelerator. He quickly blocked the entrance of the garage so Haeyoon couldn’t leave. Screech, the sound of brakes echoed like a scream in the alley.3a2c6db353f47cd5

When he rolled down the window and turned his head, under the bright garage light, he saw Haeyoon’s face behind the steering wheel. Unlike himself, who hadn’t eaten properly for four days and looked half-starved, Haeyoon’s face glowed, as if he had eaten and slept well.9c8fe9d199a79b60

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“…Ha.”6168886885e855ec

Seemingly quite annoyed, the corners of Haeyoon’s large eyes were fiercely lifted. Seeing this, Chae Beomjoon felt his chest tighten with frustration and injustice, almost to the point of tears. He hit the parking button without any question and got out of the car.a514ffccd1ecf916

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He had a lot 963c6dc060 to say. First, he wanted a6b12c32e7 to say he e5b5647ad0 missed him, explain 05439cf51a the misunderstandings, and 9b7f95d7d1 ask who had 135e43ae57 said what.826278282dc01a80

Then he would apologize, say he likes him, loves him… Chae Beomjoon, with his lips firmly set, walked around the hood towards the garage to approach Haeyoon.74cc524450f10a0d

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“Haeyoon!”9f8d21e67fc3062d

But at that moment, Haeyoon, glaring at Chae Beomjoon outside the window, revved the accelerator. The roar of the Lamborghini’s 666-horsepower V8 engine filled the air, as if it would push Beomjoon and his car away any second.7e0495b71aed9457

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“What are you doing?!”36ac1cca40177158

However, instead of running away from the sound, Chae Beomjoon dashed forward to block the terrifying exhaust sound of the SUV. It wasn’t because he had lost his mind or was worried about his car getting damaged.0b4b8f23d825d30e

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Given Haeyoon’s temperament, he knew Haeyoon might really ram into him, so he tried to stop him. If a Lamborghini and a Bentley collided, there was no way the impact wouldn’t affect the driver. He was worried Haeyoon might get hurt.6c51ce1bfc4080b3

“Haeyoon!”f7814f1c36130deb

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He placed his hands on the increasingly hot hood, desperately calling out to Haeyoon. Their eyes met through the frosty glass. Seo Haeyoon was glaring at Chae Beomjoon with eyes that seemed to blaze, indicating he would run him over if he didn’t move.d188dbeb938165f4

“Haeyoon!! Please listen to me…!”b4aaaba3a9b3135b

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But he couldn’t move. If he moved now, Seo Haeyoon would certainly floor it. With that conviction, he felt he had to block him until the end.1add89892cc9f7b3

“Stop it! You’ll get hurt!”11fe1e1a4f6efc02

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He raised his voice, but with the engine noise so loud, he wasn’t sure if his sincerity reached Haeyoon. Beomjoon kept shouting for him to stop, yelling with all his might.192df610685a82f2

The louder ba94e1c62d he shouted, 3a6967ecd8 the more b9c1f311ce his frustration 02fe80b6f7 grew. He felt like b7dff777c6 he was going e76c82ca71 insane with the b67dd95e72 tightness in his 77aaca691b chest. He really resented Haeyoon b259c692b0 for not wanting to d129a7f613 listen to him.4ea4f61e0138d34a

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The image d83653fc0b of Seo 2f92f4acf3 Haeyoon at 12f4c14ab2 the hotel, 6a86d99f2f treating him 3e7b66ccfe like a d5f0637eaa rapist, overlapped c352e62c59 with the fd365e41de Haeyoon in 4adbb60bae front of 6f62a43e15 him now. Unlike his own 49eb06b8a2 life which had 0d3670c927 changed drastically since 820c6b5489 then, Haeyoon seemed a66c805195 unchanged. They had 7da0cabf04 lived together 40006fa6f8 for four 5e00d7f888 months, but b01bcce9e8 it seemed 0c03bdd106 like that 99d5a272ec time, which ab421bd76c meant so cdbabdca8f much to d43d5a7ade him, meant 62086443a9 nothing to 6ab773b23c Haeyoon, which 45666ebdb7 made him 083fd0b7b3 feel pitiful.35b207fc07dff755

He thought things had changed a lot, that Haeyoon had grown to like him more than at first. Were all the feelings he sensed from Haeyoon just illusions born from his own misconceptions? Was there really nothing inside Seo Haeyoon…?080c5e4af673bdbb

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All sorts of 15da86944d pessimistic thoughts overwhelmed c5373ee0ce him, making his 1a994c5700 insides churn. This situation 597f4ef256 was utterly dddd6f1423 incomprehensible.bc53fea992765213

Among it 372ec31fb2 all, the adce69a9d8 most incomprehensible a2d1c911e2 was Seo 5563bd0cb8 Haeyoon. How could 873af7f656 he think f2c970efa7 Chae Beomjoon 4e31e2e71d had placed a688b06776 him in 756371c95d the quintet ee741593b4 after seeing c5b4279999 all his d0e55b32e0 sincerity?1e698cf81c32ebf9

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Do you really think that? There’s no way I would do such a thing… He wanted to ask, but Seo Haeyoon didn’t seem interested in listening to him.9cb26101d0ea3740

It was an 8b9c54a000 emotion that had 27e904c087 come with difficulty.ea26244b01f11fc8

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It was 562925040f a heart bca7f21a8b he had 5b797f48fd reluctantly accepted.0c8ca0483b732a3e

It was an affection eeffb697e6 he had cherished secretly.61259f0b888e8df2

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It was love he hadn’t shown properly because he was afraid Haeyoon might feel burdened, even after it had been revealed.1cb6263d96df4f73

He couldn’t let this first love, which had progressed with so much difficulty, end so futilely. At least he should be given the chance to confront him with sincerity.58eb896edd581e08

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“Please listen to me, please…”c4e1839cb6244a6e

He groaned, lowering 3741017e70 his head onto 997fb07075 the hood in 1315ccf50e frustration. He felt like he 2401e92e52 could cry.ce3612fae7955e2c

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But at that moment, the vibrations that had been shaking his whole body stopped with a “brr”. Did he hear me? Surprised, he looked up to see Haeyoon, who was biting his lip, staring at him.bf013abeea7b2633

His eyes were trembling greatly. It was different from when he saw him on the rooftop. Unlike then, when he seemed utterly cold and unapproachable, now Haeyoon’s eyes were swirling with all sorts of emotions. That was better. Better than the Seo Haeyoon who seemed to have nothing to say to him, this Seo Haeyoon, who wanted to curse, vent, and expel, was better.26d808dc76a2c36f

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“Let’s talk, Haeyoon…”0598632861e0e828

With his eyes 4aa7741913 lowered, Beomjoon pleaded 87c37eaab0 in a raised 818c8160d2 voice. There were no other 7a48863707 words exchanged. A damp, cold wind 3514f04f80 swept over his head.d3b20eb7e705cd73

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After a long while, 41ac29db2a Seo Haeyoon finally turned 3104f91a4c off the engine. The car e28b58e401 door opened eee95e0ebe and closed af58232562 silently. But before 6973e38346 Chae Beomjoon 8a1e193e11 could rush eb3c61c31e to him, b68c99d010 Haeyoon had 543f2d8206 turned around, 9de8b37b7e heading towards a12faa8475 the inner f952b7c9a0 door of a2288a7e84 the garage. Beomjoon, in a b777949d05 hurry, followed him 6e81ead263 quickly.09bc0532822c7a1d

“Haeyoon… Haeyoon! Please listen to me! I can explain everything…!”49947dc80bf1ed34

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“Shut up!!”64c3d9957e84c979

At the sharp, angry shout, Chae Beomjoon closed his mouth. Seo Haeyoon’s elegant face was brimming with rage. His pale face was boiling, and his eyes were fierce.1ec6bb3e33c4b408

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That intense boiling reassured 18d780ee2e Chae Beomjoon even more.3c54090bc4a0a0f8

Haeyoon leaving the house wasn’t about emptying Chae Beomjoon from his heart. It was an attempt. An attempt to clear away all traces from in front of him to erase the thoughts of Chae Beomjoon that stirred his emotions.1d3f763a115274f1

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The fact that Haeyoon hadn’t sorted out his feelings made Beomjoon shout with joy.2ef6dcf5bbb6c1a7

“It’s a misunderstanding! I really didn’t do anything! I know nothing about the quintet!”dc746419afe06c1a

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“If you say one more word, I’ll kill you.”dedcb5c944e141f2

“…”f68126a8fa55da8d

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However, his three-point summary was immediately deflated by Haeyoon’s lethal remark. In the face of Haeyoon’s cold gaze, Chae Beomjoon shut his mouth again, trying to give him time to think.76d75f2eced448ec

When his chattering lips finally closed, Seo Haeyoon ran his fingers through his hair, letting out a boiling sigh. That sigh, which made Chae Beomjoon’s heart beat like it would burst, made him choke back his emotions.03f417f1eb1bdb00

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If he could, he would have clung to Haeyoon’s pants, begging. But doing so would only make Haeyoon shudder in disgust; he wouldn’t listen to his words…de7ebb60586f1f02

“…”5e8b6ed30270b416

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Seo Haeyoon glared at 77cc884632 Chae Beomjoon as if 83f7d2bdc4 he wanted to hit cde4465a19 him for keeping silent cba09357fc before turning away. He walked off, 4839d0fbf8 showing his back 4bddd716b2 once again.252680addde3c472

Although he had prevented Haeyoon from going out to meet some young guy right away, at this rate, it seemed like the misunderstanding would never be resolved even until he died of old age. Moreover, Beomjoon still didn’t know why Haeyoon had heard something outside that made him misunderstand him so deeply. Overwhelmed by frustration, Beomjoon shouted at the receding figure.4f023575d7db3034

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“When, when can we talk?”dc226e7230ee5187

The question must have 5934a1d387 seemed quite brazen. Seo Haeyoon turned 3fa153cd5e around, his face b20a3c93d2 contorted in disbelief.19f6ac8f0a9e1ceb

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“What do we have to talk about?”618e7b279427887d

He didn’t even expect to be called “hyung” in this situation. And now, instead of “Mister,” he was being called “you.”9ef92b173f2c77ed

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The resentment he had momentarily forgotten surged back. He knew Haeyoon was misunderstanding, but no matter how much he thought about it, he hadn’t done anything to deserve being called “you.”e0da53d088f3f875

“At least give me a chance to clear up the misunderstanding! We were together for four months; can’t you do even that for me?!”2d54d1c522c02205

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“Four months? We didn’t even date for two months. Don’t fabricate!”771ec272129f4791

“How can you say that? If I had been a homeless person you met for four months, wouldn’t you have been less cold?”9607bb8db276f842

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“Yes! Then I would have shown some compassion. But you’re not a homeless person!”4f0ee59038893714

The fact that he had become worse than an unnamed homeless person in Haeyoon’s eyes was driving him crazy with frustration. But while he resented him, he wasn’t angry.3f03be13c7f2d080

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How much he had suffered during the time he couldn’t see him. He had countless times regretted not saying what he should have on Saturday, no matter what, and yet felt that holding back for Haeyoon’s sake was the right thing to do.52a47a7df1ce8a60

So, even just having the chance to see his face and talk was something Beomjoon was thankful for. He even felt like he wanted to kiss the feet of Haeyoon, who didn’t immediately kick him out.3780bdc9786a8cc4

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Biting his lips, Beomjoon’s eyes welled up like an abandoned dog. Opening his reddened lips, he pleaded in a voice that was almost a whisper.9909ef56eeec353c

“Then treat me like a homeless person. Please… show me some compassion, Haeyoon.”9a7bc55c42390e81

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“…Ha.”c5e2a34fcd850196

At that pitiful expression, as if taken aback, Seo Haeyoon stared at Chae Beomjoon with his mouth open. The venom seemed to gradually drain from Haeyoon’s hardened face. One could feel his sense of futility.7e58baac2e125ce6

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Seo Haeyoon stood there silently for a long time before finally taking slow steps. As he approached, Chae Beomjoon finally got to see Haeyoon’s face up close after days.7595881871319d06

The thought that Haeyoon’s skin glowed compared to his half-starved self while he was in the car was a misconception. Up close, he too looked haggard from days of emotional turmoil. Looking at his sharpened jawline, Beomjoon’s heart ached.6fc54bc8eeffdde3

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“…Haven’t you been eating properly?”63553c182c7f3ff0

“What, are we in a drama now? Stop with the nonsense and say what you have to say.”c95da58b18b98148

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However, Seo 66ec2079f2 Haeyoon quickly 334798d85a regained his e7db6334a8 composure. Not only 233d6903b7 that, he b5bf4eaf59 seemed to 85e62dc56a regret even 635513f577 the few 3552eea6ae steps he f9fca5fed4 had taken, a96110e82c exuding an b8c59add0f aura of df3917f62a wanting to 8f9c5575d4 go back e1a555eadd inside immediately.594b12bcd5c7a389

He looked so pitiful, putting up thorns to protect his wounded heart. Beomjoon’s chest hurt. He wanted to hold him tightly, but he knew Haeyoon would push him away, screaming if he did. Even if Beomjoon couldn’t admit it, Haeyoon would know that the wounds he had were caused by him.24cb757b09c80ce2

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So, he couldn’t hastily make excuses.12707a0f73eab34a

Anyway, nothing he said would reach Seo Haeyoon’s ears. Every word he spoke would only sound like an excuse, just like it had on the rooftop…714d0afc11773573

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Then what 7760bc13b4 could he 623edd939d say to 265d9a2281 make Seo b472e994d7 Haeyoon listen bfabe208e4 to him? It was Haeyoon 48607a78f2 who broke the bb805f19d2 silence filled with 282ace611f such concerns.59ee11f47da0b92b

“Think of this as your last chance to see my face. If we meet again, I’ll run you over with my car.”8fb02df951a3372f

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It was d72c256de2 like a 984e0fb0eb death sentence.56c6091f7d1fdd2e

The last.3ee5a0013794b108

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In front of Chae Beomjoon, who was asking for a chance, Seo Haeyoon was talking about an end. No matter what he said, this outcome seemed irreversible…d6056917a397d321

His heart sank 4f24f26d77 like it was 4f234fb70d weighed down by 20d8c0eb67 something heavy. He thought 930d7ea46a he had 8872057fa7 broken through d923bc3648 a lot, 873d862e81 but before 1965243590 he knew 2b0dcea6a5 it, a ca3f116541 high wall 2824560b0c had risen ac7b350c15 between them 44caa0fd40 again.843aed42c1ddf896

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On the other side of that wall, Haeyoon couldn’t hear any of Beomjoon’s shouts or explanations. Only Haeyoon could open the door to that wall, but he wasn’t even considering touching the handle.cf1f29ef363ea4af

No matter what considerations 85fbd3a5d6 or judgments Chae Beomjoon 289eae251e made, it was of 5591406a44 no use to Seo 2e2567ba67 Haeyoon right now.ac0fcd2369726d1a

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In this situation, 5d1786e13e everything was meaningless.e17d6c051f2df202

Apologies, explanations, pleas…034ef6ab2f6918e7

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Then what on earth can I do? What should I say to you as you walk away…f92d469c15e7ed63

“Nothing to say?”5acfa4219b6ef780

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In his deep despair, Beomjoon recalled what Seo Haeyoon had said. It was a statement that had led Beomjoon here, who once tried to deny his feelings for Haeyoon because he couldn’t believe someone like him could love someone.3bbb4dc099c69068

‘I don’t think about anything. I just play as my heart leads.’5f496f7bd7372930

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As my heart leads…e1791c4894a1ec99

If there was one d38e2c5113 thing he wanted to f55e1c1189 do most right now, ae1e4e9be1 it was this.d9968793c6b4a5aa

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With reddened eyes, Chae Beomjoon reached out to cup Haeyoon’s thin cheek. Before Haeyoon could escape with his hardened gaze, Beomjoon bent down to press his lips to his.8553c5aeeab67197

Instead of spewing excuses until the very end, Haeyoon couldn’t push away the man offering countless kisses.d5cb2eb429316a6c

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“…If this is the last moment.”38fe7a79f633c9a4

It was an affectionate 9c5d067be2 kiss. A gentle 0fd5a3bfe4 kiss meant 645aea1a2f to comfort e8cf0aa034 and soothe 72f4181ff2 the wounded f17d2989ec Haeyoon.aa824fa4549b4477

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While kissing bdca0487bb him, Chae 85027dd601 Beomjoon remembered d088f9150a the moment ae3e6f43a6 he had a0500f66f1 completely fallen 777f62b335 for Seo 3a85b23cbe Haeyoon.2cab3d4c8f042d30

At first, it was just curiosity. Aside from his looks and aura being exactly Chae Beomjoon’s type, Seo Haeyoon was not significantly different from the many men he had met.bc3d98ce64909abc

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When he discovered b4cb321bc6 the man on 2605ced646 stage, Chae Beomjoon 47ee100fdb became curious about 0d72f8c9cb him. The beautiful harmony this b30b19b882 stranger played offered deep 7209f10d0b comfort to Chae Beomjoon.497a1e2889d7b96b

And then, after playing a heart-wrenchingly sad Siciliano, in the moment when Seo Haeyoon kissed him of his own accord in response to an encore request…de397631b972b7ca

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Chae Beomjoon completely fell c48878bcd3 for this man named 1e83d1d0e4 Seo Haeyoon.f97764aa921bedde

That kiss was the catalyst for Chae Beomjoon’s yearning for Seo Haeyoon. In the moment Haeyoon shared his breath with such a joyful face, Chae Beomjoon’s defenses completely crumbled. Perhaps, then, this kiss might break down Seo Haeyoon’s walls…ee5b3f2f00c6dac9

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Chae Beomjoon 1b7a3b588b looked at 20b4058dc5 Haeyoon with 55b98ad1e0 teary eyes. Staring into his 15b843d0f7 eyes filled with c111fce367 confusion, he said,0f96e553204e7cbf

“This is all I can give you…”ecd1acf7e73a334c

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“…”3b871dd3b3ea94e0

“I missed you.”87012bc9d1602ba2

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At this greeting f52224ed6c full of longing, 48736aae37 Haeyoon stepped back, f0544a9ad6 wiping his lips f2d742f2c9 with the back 91cc760491 of his hand. His pale 7393d44551 face gradually 3d45fdbfa5 turned red.cd79ca7fe2998467

He couldn’t even guess what Haeyoon was thinking anymore. Learning from his past misjudgments, Chae Beomjoon decided not to presumptuously speculate about Haeyoon’s thoughts. He only hoped for some change in Haeyoon, for him to have the heart to listen to his excuses…fa87693628c1654a

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“…Is it all over?”21b673a39d331fc1

After a 92002332b2 brief silence, 6e12a08c27 Haeyoon asked. Afraid of what would eabe4a6913 come next, Chae Beomjoon f3b4d6aef5 nodded, avoiding his gaze.a96d95be31d42121

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There was no response. Only the sound of Haeyoon’s footsteps walking away, as if to prove his words about it being the last, could be heard.bdc1cb626fd842e6

It’s over…4e80440b485c5552

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It seemed like this was the end. Really, it seemed there would be no more chances with Seo Haeyoon. Is it because first love is supposed to be unfulfilled? If I let go of you and then fall for you again, would I be able to receive your love then…1500a6e9648d3d6f

His eyes burned 84494e9696 with rising disappointment. Blinking his stinging 97e8a92c38 eyes, Chae Beomjoon 6c323dd8b1 looked down at 93a205e550 his feet.1350ece940b31ae2

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Should I f7ee3ebe66 have acted e8809cc62e more calculatingly? Should I e52ea1766f have forced feb7d873dd him to 87f64986b3 stay and 67468b1f1d demanded he 8a0df23004 tell me 3ed31180af what happened? Should I have fa146cf29b told him that ede15f0379 everything he said 851c4883d2 was wrong?fd6d91342324507b

But Chae Beomjoon didn’t want to leave Haeyoon with bad memories. Even in this moment of being abandoned, he wanted to respect Haeyoon’s choice to say nothing. That’s the kind of man Chae Beomjoon was.ad498a4e3aa72ffe

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But still…1f36686c7af122da

“If, if you ever decide to listen to me…”38b326df87f7ea50

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He could beg once d1a5a9b04a more. With a trembling e435287c1b voice, Chae Beomjoon c65991ff72 pleaded for another 5e9510b5ba chance. Seo Haeyoon ed3dcbf203 stopped in ad0abb14ac his tracks.5057f1c1b25d6c4c

“…That won’t happen.”faa09f375a1bdc63

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“But, if your heart changes… I’ll wait.”c34a128054d23851

At that 243314334b moment, the 9360f915aa sound of 29c1c74c3e footsteps quickened. Looking up, 72ad6688a0 he saw d4e74376f7 Seo Haeyoon 60e9ca6108 approaching, his bc776bf5ec face looking 76b479c41b like he 79421799fd was about 8a8d858858 to cry, ff464ec060 his eyes f42dfd00f0 red with 4faf86568e resentment.706f3b470808aa50

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“So, why did you lie? Why! Why did you deceive me?!”cdbfe498beabf739

That was Haeyoon revealing a side of himself he had never shown before. Even on the day of the concert, though he had criticized Beomjoon, he hadn’t resented him like this.05924b516bcd23b0

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Haeyoon’s hardened heart was starting to crack. Things Haeyoon had never shown were beginning to spill out.eed13ef16f4bd90b

“Why did you do that, knowing you would act like this! What, do you think I’ll forgive you for this?”382ed30d7077dbf5

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His shouting 2b95030419 voice was 3e94cdc81d wet. Seeing Haeyoon 535f6de23f with his 3590ee1364 heart bleeding, 40d651f852 Chae Beomjoon 534c262d86 felt like bf03d99181 he could 2be185c81b cry too. All he wanted f60d505885 was to throw 8c72da9762 away the hard-earned 67d153728b opportunity and just 309e49c943 hug and comfort f22dc9a74a Seo Haeyoon.44dbdc34df42a073

But he couldn’t let this chance slip away either. Haeyoon must already know how much he cared for him. Now, he needed to clear up the misunderstanding. Clenching his fists, Chae Beomjoon spoke.ecdc5ce0953e6175

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“…I admit I didn’t tell you I was the acting director on purpose. I won’t make excuses for that.”d245d87568d410c3

“Is that something to be proud of?!”0bd5028a4bd3b971

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“But you only found out I was the one who got you into the orchestra after we decided to be partners. The day I, as the acting director, didn’t show up for our second meeting. That day, I saw you playing alone on stage… I thought if you knew I was the acting director, you’d put up walls. I liked how you treated me casually, so I couldn’t tell you. On Halloween, you even said it was over…”c0dc962b464b285b

Haeyoon’s eyes narrowed as if to say, “Is that an excuse?” The distrust within them was evident. Beomjoon could feel that Haeyoon didn’t believe his words. But he had to make it clear.558226337c7c1a61

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“The only time I interfered with your career was when I decided to let you in after the blind audition. After that, I’ve never meddled in any matter. In fact, the only thing I did myself was that; otherwise, I only signed off on proposals from the performance planning team.”f593babe6767ca93

“…”b2637f77443a6a7e

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“Getting into the quintet was something you achieved on your own. By your skill.”cca9a8da4e9446b8

“Don’t lie to me!”e469262efb26e782

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Haeyoon shouted when he mentioned his skill. At the moment when he spoke of his abilities, Haeyoon’s shout, piercing like a sharp needle, made Chae Beomjoon’s brows furrow in shock.934f5e087fb7d251

Haeyoon, who had just hurled a scream like a shriek, was trembling, gasping for breath. His fists were clenched tight, his eyes glistening with tears, his lips tightly bitten…5ec74e9ca1919a03

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Seo Haeyoon was 9aee72fbf3 hurt by his 904185cad2 words.e39d8f76e4c90a45

Why…? Before he could even process the question, Haeyoon spoke, his lips trembling.8e64bc3d6b881344

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“Do you know why I can’t believe you? It’s because… because that performance was a mess. The recording I sent to the orchestra was so embarrassingly self-indulgent that it was shameful to show to others! It was such a poor performance that I couldn’t get into any orchestra!!”147b4f0e5e5d04f7

“I never felt that…”941093f2cb3b6076

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“Don’t make me laugh!”41d56f6956a08c69

It sounded like he was crying. Each word Haeyoon uttered, to Chae Beomjoon’s ears, was like the sound of someone wounded and moaning.5504736494d031b1

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His large eyes were filled with sorrow. The grief Haeyoon was showing for the first time in front of him was so vivid that it couldn’t be ignored.39d52a1fcd8d0f72

Suddenly, the night drenched in Siciliano came to mind. That day, Chae Beomjoon thought the sadness he felt was just from the melody Haeyoon created. But it wasn’t. The sorrow that made Chae Beomjoon sob without crying was the sadness from within Seo Haeyoon, which he expressed through his bow…3e9307d362da6f1f

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“Haeyoon…”87a4f9a6de74c33a

Now everything made sense.f2f820a4e852fe98

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Why he contacted him every day he went to practice with the orchestra, why he was so happy with compliments on his performance, why he was so angry and disappointed at the possibility that the quintet wasn’t his own achievement.0e1e9abf062e8f22

His words about being anxious, about not being a great musician… Chae Beomjoon thought it was just humility. But it wasn’t.b51a4d0b764c6e8d

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“Do you really think you’re a talentless musician?”59d40092d41f76f9

Seo Haeyoon didn’t know his own worth.8e5c6d01f8b0a35e

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“Then what? No?”537713607bc8e636

Unable to hold back the swelling sadness, tears fell from the corners of Haeyoon’s eyes. A damp, enveloping humidity seemed to cover Chae Beomjoon.4f1799fa55eb8c9d

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The shadow of despair lurking at Haeyoon’s feet suddenly grew, pressing down on Chae Beomjoon. The weight of despair carried by someone who shouldn’t feel it was unimaginably heavy. It was suffocating.08cfa8993602f579

“I’ve never won a competition… I’ve been moved from one orchestra to another because I couldn’t adapt properly. And no one calls me a soloist…! If that’s not being talentless, then what is it? Do you think I’m stupid? Do you think I wouldn’t see through your attempt to lie and move on?”ae6cac0ae823dd50

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