SB Ch 25

Now, he was indifferent since he acknowledged his own limitations, but at that time, he didn’t know how much he had despaired. Recalling it made his heart feel constricted; thus, Haeyoon began playing with passion.

Giovanni Bottesini, one of the few composers who wrote specifically for the double bass, was loved by many bassists.

The passionate yet gentle melody filled the rehearsal room. Though it was a place where dozens usually played, here was Seo Haeyoon performing a solo, enveloping the listener with rich harmonies.

The variations within the piece stood out all the more with Haeyoon’s raw and vivid playing. The conductor’s eyes showed a peculiar interest as he listened to the performance. Since Haeyoon’s introduction was only through the acting director’s authority, this was the first time he heard Haeyoon’s solo.

This was why he had struggled so much during the first rehearsal. The conductor immediately understood this upon hearing the performance and requested another piece right after it ended. Since solo pieces for double bass were rare, after some thought, Seo Haeyoon played Fauré’s ‘Sicilienne’, which he had performed before.

“…Nice.”

That was all the conductor said after the performance ended. He nodded as if savoring the music and looked at the concertmaster beside him. The concertmaster nodded nonchalantly, indicating he too was pleased with Haeyoon’s performance.

“Mr. Seo, let’s see… you graduated from Manhattan School of Music? There was an audition at the Seoul Philharmonic around the same time, why did you come here? You would have certainly passed.”

The Seoul Philharmonic was one of the top orchestras in Korea. There was one reason Haeyoon didn’t go there: when he angrily opened the page with the job postings, the Seoul Philharmonic’s advertisement wasn’t on the first page. But honestly, even if it had been there, he probably wouldn’t have applied, lacking the confidence to think he’d be accepted.

“The Sooseon Orchestra’s advertisement was at the top.”

Though embarrassed, he answered honestly. Surprised by the unexpected answer, the conductor laughed, “Ha ha.” Then, saying “Well done,” he asked Haeyoon to perform a duet with the concertmaster.

For a while, only the sound of violin and double bass filled the rehearsal room. After some time, the conductor gave Haeyoon positive feedback.

“You’ll get an email once the program is finalized, and we’ll set the rehearsal schedule later. Please try to keep weekends free if possible.”

“Yes, understood, sir.”

“I look forward to working with you.”

“…I look forward to working with you too.”

After hesitating, he bowed deeply before leaving the rehearsal room. After the door closed, Haeyoon stood there, overwhelmed by the emotion, for a while.

There were dozens of members in the Suhseon Symphony Orchestra, and he was going to be part of a quintet that included only four. It was unbelievable.

Always, always…

He had only been left out…

To calm his trembling heart, Haeyoon stood there for a while before finally heading to the parking lot. He felt like he was walking on clouds. After loading the double bass into the trunk and sitting in the driver’s seat, he came back to his senses. Blinking blankly, Haeyoon picked up his phone and sent a message to Chae Beomjoon.

12:37

Mister, when do you finish today?

Then, after some hesitation, he added one more line.

12:38

I want to see you soon.

He would be thrilled to hear the news. Haeyoon smiled, recalling the lips that had touched his fingertips. Lately, only good things seemed to be happening.

🔮🌙

Robber

I want to see you soon

12:38

He checked the message he had already read several times again. Shin Kyoyeon, who had been casually watching Chae Beomjoon staring at his phone like a madman, suddenly asked with curiosity:

“Chief Chae, are you watching CCTV or something?”

“Huh?”

Chae Beomjoon easily understood the nonsensical question. For a psychopath with voyeuristic tendencies, watching CCTV would be the most enjoyable thing. Hence, it was a question asking if there was something amusing. Chae Beomjoon shook his head in disbelief and tucked his phone into his pocket.

“No. Just had something to check.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, it’s nothing.”

He had no intention of telling Shin Kyoyeon the truth right away. He was cautious about revealing Seo Haeyoon’s existence, and even if he did mention dating, Shin Kyoyeon would treat it as his delusion and attempt to commit him to a mental hospital.

Therefore, Beomjoon planned to introduce Seo Haeyoon’s existence carefully when he was sure they had reached a point where Haeyoon would openly share his heart with him enough to introduce him to his family.

“We’ve arrived.”

Ironically, despite Seo Haeyoon’s message saying he wanted to see him soon, Chae Beomjoon was in the middle of overtime work.

The place they reached after driving through the mountain roads from the headquarters was a restaurant on the outskirts of Seoul. Ihwagak, a private modern Korean-style restaurant run by the DG Group, was a secret, high-end Korean course meal place that wasn’t available for just anyone to reserve.

“Let’s get out.”

Beomjoon got out of the car first and opened the back door. The attendant who drove the car waited in the parking lot, and Chae Beomjoon entered Ihwagak with Shin Kyoyeon. As they passed through the gate opened by an employee into the neatly arranged garden, Han Jiwon, the manager of Ihwagak, who stood demurely by the door, greeted them warmly.

“Director, Chief, it’s been a while. Welcome.”

“It’s been a while.”

Shin Kyoyeon, wearing the mask of a normal person, greeted with a kind face. Behind him, Chae Beomjoon just nodded slightly. Han Jiwon, who had greeted Shin Kyoyeon with a bright smile, frowned slightly when she looked at Chae Beomjoon.

“…I’ll show you this way.”

Chae Beomjoon had enjoyed some fun times with Han Jiwon in his early thirties. After a few lively encounters, they acknowledged their terrible compatibility and became friends, occasionally keeping in touch. Ihwagak was where Chae Beomjoon would get side dishes since he never cooked for himself. Han Jiwon was his side dish broker.

Normally, he would have poked fun at her for frowning, but now he only thought it was something he needed to clear up. Although he didn’t think Seo Haeyoon would be jealous, he still wanted to sort it out. From now on, he’d have to buy his side dishes. To cleanse himself, Chae Beomjoon followed the path without even speaking to her.

Upon arriving at the annex, Han Jiwon knocked on the antique wooden door to announce their arrival.

“Director Shin and Chief Chae have arrived.”

Shin Kyoyeon disappeared inside the door that Han Jiwon opened. Following him, Chae Beomjoon saw people chatting inside.

“You’re here?”

“Welcome.”

At the head of the table sat Soo Seonhwa, dressed comfortably. To her right were Kim Chungkyung, who would take over as the artistic director of the Suhseon Grand Theater next year, and Kim Geonwoo, the resident conductor of the symphony orchestra.

Until this year, Kim Geonwoo had been serving both as conductor and music director, but due to health issues and his planned retirement, Kim Chungkyung would take over the overall performance programs of the theater from next year alongside Kim Geonwoo. After a year of transition, Kim Chungkyung would take full control once Kim Geonwoo retired.

On the opposite side, to Soo Seonhwa’s left, sat her secretary, Seong Sowon, with an elegant posture. She was six years older than Chae Beomjoon, and when he was just starting college, she had kept him up many nights.

Of course, not because he liked her but because no matter how much he tried to seduce her, she wouldn’t give in. To win her over, Chae Beomjoon had to pay an old poet to learn poetry recitation.

Anyway, this was another past he needed to clear up. Chae Beomjoon bowed to Seong Sowon and Soo Seonhwa before finding his seat.

But when he tried to sit, he noticed cutlery and a cup set for someone next to Seong Sowon. Who could that be? Since he hadn’t heard of anyone else coming, he tilted his head and took a seat beside it.

“Beomjoon, you recommended the first piece by Litvinovsky, right?”

“Ah, yes. Did you like it?”

“Oh, of course. The piece was really interesting. The wives loved the program composition too.”

Chae Beomjoon smiled happily at the compliment of his taste. Normally, it was Kim Geonwoo’s role to put together the program, but whenever Chae Beomjoon recommended a piece, Soo Seonhwa would recognize it like a ghost. It was quite mysterious.

Soo Seonhwa, looking pleased at Chae Beomjoon, then turned her gaze to her second son, Shin Kyoyeon, and asked in a chiding tone:

“Why didn’t our Yeon come when I told you to bring him and the baby to see the concert?”

“The baby’s busy studying for the college entrance exam soon.”

“Oh, look at my mind. That’s right, isn’t it? Not much time left now. Is the studying going well?”

Busy because of the college entrance exam soon…

As far as Chae Beomjoon knew, Yoon Heesoo’s chances for this year’s exam were already lost. Shin Kyoyeon just didn’t want to show Yoon Heesoo in front of others.

“Isn’t it enough if he’s studying hard?”

Understanding Shin Kyoyeon’s meaning, Soo Seonhwa smiled as if to say, “Of course.” With money, even university admission was unnecessary, so what did results matter? Her loving smile suggested that if he was working hard, that was enough.

In front of Kim Geonwoo and Kim Chungkyung, who sat with expressions as if they heard nothing, information about the owner family’s private life was casually exchanged. Chae Beomjoon, who only wanted to go home soon, laughed soullessly like them.

“There’s supposed to be a mini concert for the new year, right? Is that correct?”

But since they had gathered to celebrate the astonishing Halloween special performance, the conversation quickly turned back to the Suhseon Symphony Orchestra.

Chae Beomjoon listened attentively as Soo Seonhwa brought up the topic of the mini concert. It seemed the piano quintet that Seo Haeyoon was offered was for this mini concert.

“Yes, Madam. We plan to hold concerts in the small theater to make use of the time during the remodeling.”

“Good, that’s good. Who will be in the lineup?”

“First, we managed to secure Pianist Jin Suryeon through Director Kim Chungkyung…”

“Pianist Jin Suryeon?”

Hearing this, Chae Beomjoon lifted his head in shock. Jin Suryeon was the young pianist who won the Queen Elisabeth International Music Competition a few years ago. It was unbelievable that someone making a name for themselves globally would perform in the small theater rather than the Suhseon Grand Theater.

How was that even possible? Of course, Chae Beomjoon cherished and liked the Suhseon Grand Theater, but if he were Jin Suryeon, he wouldn’t have considered performing there, especially in a small theater. It didn’t match her stature.

“Yes, she’s a junior I know personally. She agreed readily when I asked.”

“My goodness.”

Even Soo Seonhwa was surprised by the mention of Jin Suryeon. As a classical music enthusiast, she attended almost every concert when famous pianists or orchestras visited Korea. She would even make sure to attend concerts when traveling abroad.

So it was natural for her to be surprised. Jin Suryeon had performed at the opening ceremony of the Winter Olympics held in Korea last year, she was that famous.

“Then I should look for a better venue. How can we have Jin Suryeon perform in a small theater? That’s ridiculous.”

“I’ll look into it too. There might be a better place.”

Chae Beomjoon agreed with her. He had witnessed Seo Haeyoon listening to Jin Suryeon’s piano performance. If Haeyoon learned he would be collaborating with her, he would be ecstatic. Such a happy experience for Seo Haeyoon couldn’t be held in just a small theater.

Where should they look? It being January, outdoor venues would be difficult. Maybe Myeongdong Cathedral? It’s not a large space, but it’s historic and meaningful, so it wouldn’t be bad. While Chae Beomjoon was lost in thought, considering various locations…

Creak, the door opened without a knock, and someone entered. If it wasn’t a terrorist, there were few people who would enter Soo Seonhwa’s presence so rudely. Feeling a chill, he turned his head to see Shin Jihan from yesterday.

“Huh? Our Director and Chief are here?”

“Jihan.”

“I was having an after-party with the kids, but I heard Mom was here, so I moved. I just sent the kids off to their lodging with some pocket money. Our kids got first place on the music show this time. Hyung, did you see it? Did you?”

Shin Jihan, quite drunk, seemed very excited. Even when they met in the parking lot yesterday, he seemed to be floating, making Chae Beomjoon wonder if he was on drugs, but it was probably because of this. Chae Beomjoon felt a sense of foreboding as he watched Jihan raise his glass as soon as he sat down next to him.

“What were you talking about?”

“Aren’t you familiar with Pianist Jin Suryeon? She’s going to play a piano quintet with our orchestra members next year for the Lunar New Year.”

“Really? That’s famous, right? I don’t know who she is, but wow, that’s great. Whose doing is it? Director Kim? Can’t she work with our kids too?”

“What kind of collaboration would a pianist have with an idol group? Jihan, don’t make Director Kim unnecessarily tired.”

He was very talkative. Normally, Chae Beomjoon would have enjoyed the gathering with a drink, but now he just wanted to go home. He wasn’t curious at all about whether Jihan’s kids were boys or girls or if there was anyone particularly notable among them. Suppressing his boredom, Chae Beomjoon subtly took out his phone to message Seo Haeyoon.

19:31

It looks like I might be able to leave soon. Shall we go home?

19:32

I want to see you soon.

Robber

What are you doing? Having a party?

[Photo]

I’m having dinner.

19:33

The message from Seo Haeyoon included a picture of a salad, presumably delivered. He never cooked at home.

To think he’d call that dinner…

Feeling it was unacceptable as his lover, Beomjoon sighed and typed his reply.

Does that count as a meal? ㅠㅠ

19:34

I’ll cook something proper when I get there. So, exercise to digest it, okay?

Robber

What are you going to cook?

If you’re late, I won’t eat it.

19:34

Is there anything you want to eat?

19:35

If there is, tell me. I’ll order the ingredients first.

Robber

Well…

19:36

While waiting for Seo Haeyoon’s response…

“…The violin will be played by Professor Park Yeonung, and lastly, for the double bass, we have Mr. Seo Haeyoon, who joined a few months ago.”

“Huh? The double bass in the middle? That guy?”

Seo Haeyoon’s name came up. Shin Jihan’s voice, pretending to know something, sent a chill down Chae Beomjoon’s spine. What? As Chae Beomjoon quickly looked up to stop him, a reply came to his phone.

Robber

I want to eat hyung.

19:39

…What?

The message from Seo Haeyoon captured all of Chae Beomjoon’s attention.

His heart pounded, and his pale face turned red. I want to eat the hyung. That mischievous line from Seo Haeyoon felt like it was twisting Chae Beomjoon apart.

While he was dazed, looking at that ecstatic message, he missed the chance to silence the drunken Shin Jihan.

“I saw him yesterday! Hyung, you were with that guy yesterday! Are you meeting him?!”

…What did he say?

“Jihan, are you drunk? Watch your words. Who is Beomjoon meeting? That’s disrespectful to the teacher too, kiddo.”

“Oh, no, that’s not it.”

“No, it isn’t! I heard from Manager Kim that you haven’t been to the club in two months now? You’re not even that busy these days, right, hyung?”

“What?”

Damn it…

Chae Beomjoon, who had looked up late, met the gaze of six pairs of eyes staring at him in silence. Not only Soo Seonhwa but even Kim Chungkyung and Kim Geonwoo, who had heard rumors of his messy private life, looked at him with faces asking if that was true. It was natural since the subject of the conversation was Seo Haeyoon, one of their orchestra members.

He was looking for someone to pass on the acting director position before the end of the year to ensure Seo Haeyoon would not be affected, but he was undone by Shin Jihan, whose mouth was lighter than paper.

Soo Seonhwa, Shin Kyoyeon, and Seong Sowon didn’t know that the person Jihan was talking about was a man, but Kim Chungkyung and Kim Geonwoo did. This wasn’t something they could just laugh off.

“No, that’s not it…”

This is for real. Chae Beomjoon, gritting his teeth, opened his mouth to try to clarify the situation when Shin Kyoyeon, lacking social skills, unintentionally supported Jihan.

“Now that you mention it, you were talking about loving someone before, and I thought you’d lost your mind…”

“…What did you say? Beomjoon, love?!”

Soo Seonhwa, who had taken Jihan’s words as a bad joke, stood up, holding onto the table with an excited look on her face. She was one of those who desperately wanted Beomjoon to settle down. Even Shin Kyoyeon, after saying it, looked incredulous and asked with a frown and a smile:

“Are you really dating, Chief Chae?”

“Are you dating, Junah?!”

“I’m not…”

There was no time to answer the successive questions from Shin Kyoyeon and Soo Seonhwa because Jihan, who Chae Beomjoon wanted to sew his mouth shut, cheered by tapping his glass with a spoon.

“Wow! Our Beomjoon hyung is finally dating!!”

“Congratulations, Chief.”

“Congratulations.”

“No…”

Following Jihan’s high spirits, even Kim Geonwoo and Kim Chungkyung started clapping. Chae Beomjoon felt like he wanted to die from embarrassment, his face turning bright red as he stood up, feeling like the star of a talent show.

Everyone’s eyes were on him, expecting him to share some good news like an acceptance speech. It was impossible. Chae Beomjoon sighed and waved his hands, denying it with a serious face.

“No, it’s not like that.”

He wanted to run away, but he knew he couldn’t.

Seo Haeyoon’s voice saying he doesn’t meet people who can exert power over him replayed in his ears. If he revealed his relationship with Haeyoon in front of Kim Geonwoo and Kim Chungkyung, the conductor and music director of the orchestra he was part of, it would definitely affect Haeyoon.

He wanted to avoid that. Chae Beomjoon respected Haeyoon’s job.

And beyond that, he couldn’t bring up Haeyoon in this way. This was outing.

“I…”

As Chae Beomjoon spoke in a small voice, everyone’s attention focused on him. Among them, Soo Seonhwa’s gaze was the most intense. She looked thrilled, as if she couldn’t believe her most favored son was finally giving up his promiscuous ways for love.

Damn… This was like a bolt from the blue.

He had planned to introduce Haeyoon to Soo Seonhwa seriously and officially, but what a mess this had turned into.

Chae Beomjoon, blaming himself for not shutting Jihan up a minute ago when he was distracted by being called ‘hyung’, turned to look at him.

He wanted to hit Jihan, who was shrugging proudly as if he had uncovered some great secret, but he held back. What’s the point in hitting a drunk brother who can’t tell heaven from earth? He sighed and continued:

“I… I just like him one-sidedly, and Seo Haeyoon doesn’t know anything about it. We’re not dating.”

“Wow, damn! Hyung, you have a one-sided crush!? Not dating, but a crush!?”

“Jihan. Watch your mouth!”

At Soo Seonhwa’s scolding, Jihan, who was already thirty but still immature, clamped his lips shut. Chae Beomjoon glared at him with gritted teeth and then explained to Kim Chungkyung and Kim Geonwoo:

“Mr. Seo Haeyoon really knows nothing. Not about my feelings for him, nor about my orientation. So, I would appreciate it if nothing affects him because of this.”

Revealing his one-sided affection in front of so many people was very embarrassing. His face was hot, and he knew it must be bright red even without looking in a mirror.

It felt like a public execution, but there was no choice. Haeyoon’s well-being was more important than his own dignity. Chae Beomjoon didn’t want to cause him any harm.

“…Actually, I was planning to pass on the acting director position before the year ends. Mr. Seo Haeyoon has no idea I’m involved in this matter, and I have no intention of letting him know. So, please, I ask you.”

Kim Chungkyung and Kim Geonwoo, though taken aback, soon nodded in agreement. Even if it was an unreasonable request, they had to comply due to their relationship, and keeping quiet was something they could easily agree to.

“Ah, yes. Don’t worry.”

“Yes. Nothing to worry about, Chief.”

“Oh my… Our Beomjoon…”

Soo Seonhwa seemed to have a new appreciation for the situation, having only heard Chae Beomjoon speak in his usual flippant manner, now listening to him make a serious request. She covered her mouth, her eyes becoming red as she looked at Beomjoon.

It was as if she was thinking, “Our son has finally matured.”

“…Life brings such experiences.”

Shin Kyoyeon, sitting across from Chae Beomjoon, looked at him with great interest. He had the expression of someone witnessing a neighborhood troublemaker suddenly vowing celibacy and shaving their head to join a monastery.

Meeting those deep eyes, Beomjoon nodded. When Shin Kyoyeon had said he loved Yoon Heesoo, Beomjoon had felt exactly that way, but now the situation was reversed.

“…Well, living life, yes, such things happen.”

A sense of futility brought on a hollow laugh as past events suddenly flashed through his mind.

He had always considered love to be an emotion utterly without value. Chae Beomjoon was convinced that this emotion, which guarantees neither survival nor anything else but rather becomes a weakness, held no meaning for him.

But as Shin Kyoyeon had said, life indeed brings such experiences.

Moments when his heart beats because of someone’s words.

Moments when a day crumbles like a dream with just one kiss.

Moments when he wants to drop everything and run towards someone at their call.

And thus, moments when he yearns to erase his past self forever and be reborn for that one person.

Love…

It was his first love.