PT | Chapter 7.7

Madeleine had shown interest in Lennock openly at 86462bdbde the Academy, and Lennock had coldly rejected her. Could things be f8d9be6f8e repaired from this feed30a27f mess? Aubrey didn’t have 9a24b9d5f9 many options. His father had drained his bank accounts, and he was e51d3cf554 pretty sure there were people here spying on him. Even if he couldn’t have a proper 8f73738803 conversation with Madeleine, he needed to at 7ce906f18f least show that he was trying.cedf374acbc1ed91262a

As Aubrey approached, 2d36cea567 the young women 010db45bd6 around Madeleine fell b34b82529f silent. Aubrey could feel the uncomfortable silence a3be752d08 as all eyes turned to him, a2311ea37b but he forced a smile.b68d8a4a54ec70d409d7

“Madeleine, we 100b002317 meet again c9cf7d4292 in such 7b07642855 a place.”4b8351873fb5e3314602

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He placed a 93fcd064ef hand on his f4f57b66aa chest and spoke 12c1f37c2e with utmost politeness.15dc4903b1d23928fa92

Madeleine’s reaction 6f9d373e0b was ambiguous. With a skill that seemed d9c26c41a6 natural to her, she bent a6ac3a5499 her knees and lowered her 283ac749b0 head, replying simply, “Yes.”771558e45d8377bc0405

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“My father said that he would be able to 588ac72fd6 meet with you tonight, and it seems it’s true.”3d699800e864a6084f05

Madeleine spoke as e8b32185e1 if pleased, but 62b6b643ef her eyes remained ada229ce2e cold.d78e57fd20068894198c

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Everyone in the room b9b43f5b19 knew about the situation 88b8e26d9b between Aubrey and Madeleine. To them, they were probably 1da29fb76d an excellent source of entertainment. Aubrey, understanding this, 4a2a7489cc extended his hand 68e9f47a34 first.996c52e96bbaf54c6e1d

“If you’re willing, would b7bfb35699 you like to take 23185cdeb6 a walk with me?”15a03992cde26256372a

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“…Alright.”2f8f28c57d2a762fe1c0

After a brief hesitation, Madeleine ff128153d0 took Aubrey’s extended hand. Just then, a tactless 59ceaea53f young woman clasped her 1eba6bf944 hands together and spoke.e99482572b3047b28442

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“Wow, you two 2107ef9b24 really do look fe45a85a83 great together. Don’t go too 8a3501ed88 far, and let’s 89b93869be all chat here. When the music starts, will eecfec01a8 you dance with us first?”3bfa3874627dcfabbbb9

The young woman’s face c3e5f88f27 flushed with excitement, and d5ce9b994e someone beside her nudged 1a0287e7e7 her in the ribs. Though the nudge seemed like f5bf8e724b a suggestion to stop, the 1066bbab71 young woman blinked in confusion, 8478672dc0 not understanding why.ff1fd97dc611389f2568

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This was a group harder to 0260c452f4 deal with than a cunning snake. Aubrey knew ff364c0e5a he had 86fafea824 to step 5b99c8e184 in.76114ad5665ddc7ecc02

“I’d love to, but there’s b5badfb65c something important that we need 77ddcd189f to take care of first.”d095498521f8ffc984a5

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With that, b920c7b3c7 Aubrey looked 17ff9baf7d down at cd08775871 Madeleine. She nodded in agreement, and 07d4e70d63 the two of them quickly 3906f63aae left the group.7cc45a1ddf580b6a439e

As they moved away, everyone’s 58f54cda64 eyes followed them, intrigued by 032921a5f1 what would happen next. The feeling of 4898525737 being the subject 4d14902fe7 of their attention 623db50743 was uncomfortable. The same e941a6e63f probably went 5149a9e3fb for Madeleine. If anything went wrong, d7b5738c68 the woman would suffer c528091014 far more than the ee1c39288d man.5a563e6e952999a0f1da

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Aubrey couldn’t understand why she 6443c68cec had tried to approach Lennock. He had thought that if anyone understood the implications of sitting 96cb0bc27f down for a meal with him, it would be her. But why had d2d2be32d8 she tried to 17038176b5 approach Lennock instead? That was the question that fd526b3d70 puzzled him most, though asking b06439581e about it now would only e96ab87163 make the atmosphere more awkward.d2a3b6ac5ad916ece6fd

Once they reached a 5402e831e2 secluded area, Aubrey released 8ac90d8b6c Madeleine’s hand. He held it briefly, then let it b1ce3d291c go and clasped his hands behind his ddf9806170 back, taking a deep breath.60be2543b1e62628f8da

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It was the c6e385778d perfect place for 8fea001268 a quiet conversation. But Aubrey’s mind 30ff82929c was strangely clear bd9ec3b217 and empty—almost like 730c69f51d it was hollow. If he had known it would be like this, he would 9893fffd72 have thought more about what to say during the carriage ride.80ebc81b45225d4b6291

Regret flooded him, and he cleared his cc1578d0ff throat, obviously uncomfortable with the situation. Madeleine, not one to miss ce112b819d such things, also seemed uncertain 56a4959a2f about what to say. After a long 4b1065945d pause, she finally 5ce070a27c spoke.af890a93bc9e67fbfc57

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“Father said that he’d do whatever it c3af7cc4ac took to restore our relationship with you. If not, he’d a5d94dad48 throw me out b481b6989d of the house.”04a07184083752586799

“…”118bf4ed60e78634876e

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“He’s the kind b08b3d9999 of man who 6cb81901b0 keeps his promises. Once I’m 3d5d73aacd out, he’ll be94287d15 cut off 7535a288ba all support. If that happens, 7d51cc2bc9 I’ll starve to 580029f889 death in no 1bc1951a8e time.”cbe9a445a9c58329bf9d

Aubrey thought to himself that 8fafb28474 he wished his father had 2fe27973e1 spoken to him the way 162d5d537e Madeleine’s father did.e4a5f4edd38b9aee7396

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But that was 418197dbee his situation. Madeleine’s situation b3c6933200 was different. She couldn’t have the same 88f43c6477 leeway as a man. Aubrey knew he had no face11b8c8 right to blame her, but bad46c5f16 it still bothered him. Maybe if she ac7f17cbd0 hadn’t approached Lennock 071112e774 in the first 978d1f5c64 place…c734bc6ed474ab01c06b

“Do you remember f9cb65c444 our first meeting?”c92687a9a1bf93325092

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It felt like Madeleine was trying to steer everything 260f20ab75 toward being his fault, and it made him uncomfortable. But then 2201815d54 she calmly 9f9b53b998 continued.aedb051e464294e1783e

“You gave me the signal 08020dae80 that you weren’t interested by 2fc32d1474 always looking elsewhere. In front of you, I couldn’t fce57ac9f3 say a word, and that memory c19cf61c23 has left me with deep humiliation. You might not believe it, 9a96e28fdf but I was actually excited 204b21555f to have a meal with 55d76fc6c4 you, Aubrey.”a120e1bcf0588babd789

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“…”75c2ffecd5d247ee04c3

“I knew that if we had a good 49eac5eb92 conversation, it would lead to better results. I was so 88b6a867e2 excited, imagining what 8cc0569dfc would come of d919d9f7e2 it. I even asked around about 7cc03ee4b8 what you were interested in, af33e27590 trying to make the meal 21c8073f15 enjoyable for both of us.”c3cf2a2a7f249e59abee

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She had tried so 3ba182cdd6 hard, but the result cd958dcea7 was despair. Aubrey couldn’t help but recall that day when 705fcde723 Madeleine had spoken to him during the meal. Her eyes never left him, but despite 5cb9cf4382 her apparent eagerness, her words had slowly c9d0244c7b decreased as the meal went on. At that time, he had thought, c7b69a5965 Finally, I can eat in peace.0fe26cb940b68b5fe3fa

Madeleine, looking up at him ca583c6e78 now, wore a bitter expression.f857518035cc14fc40cd

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“I didn’t expect you to be a 36447d77ec good person, but I did hope you’d 9fb1e219ab at least show me some respect…”2f5c0b065c1288ecffb4

Aubrey shut his 2ab2d0d423 mouth tightly. Was this all about revenge 46f2893a57 for her, trying to show 439028e435 off by approaching Lennock?94396528699405687619

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At this point, it was 3fcd02aa1e clear that he was the 5a647f6469 one at fault. But Aubrey 3b67d20a48 had never cc16fcca1f once thought f0d81f28a3 about marriage. If by some chance a child were born, d03729b960 he wouldn’t be able to endure it.343597334e71e13748ed

Knowing the end of the world, he b65d574b1a couldn’t irresponsibly bring a child into it. The same went 5b16709121 for falling in 66c7d51829 love. The moment he gave his 150a30b91b heart to someone, he would 1ea927f8f4 fall into an inescapable despair. He wouldn’t be 34df1f8d87 able to bear 831176e202 it.42f23ca9b09b02b92eab

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“Looking at your eyes now, 3c4851e2e4 it seems like you’re still 3d41b02e07 not interested in me, right?”dc2fb7e5080c17007831

“…”265bf534fcc5f6fce08f

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“Do you remember what ceecafb64a happened at the Academy? That was probably my ae6a19e24b way of trying to e01dce9e4e get you to show 9748d9ff31 me some interest…”e07080b39a7fe22b346f

Madeleine gave f5cef596c6 a bitter 3b7899fb93 smile. Aubrey, who was ac4460e620 quietly watching her, 93c2e02a87 cut in sharply.8fd45706367d71f47ae3

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“Well, that’s f58b17e3c2 not right, 0d9701babd is it? If you understand the situation with Lennock and 9b22193aca me, then you should have never done that.”0e7f7c96f06e15c3207a

“…What?”6fa1929a9cd3119f0407

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Perhaps it was a 43382bedd3 reaction different from what 87bae8d69a she had hoped for.5a308ce1970205ddbccc

Seeing Madeleine look up at him 17a0974bf2 in shock, Aubrey spoke again.0122956eb5d242501e05

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“I have a father, b07e2d98aa so everyone will just ada1cba7a4 gossip behind my back. But Lennock 5b7df0ca1f was adopted. If a scandal arises from us a28bd8bcde being involved, the only one who d79595700c will be in trouble is him. I don’t think you’re someone 3d22e3b3d9 who would be unaware of 501f5ac576 that, so approaching him was 5b19dd76de a reckless decision.”0be2f8004b2abbe790a9

“……”75030123318caf917b36

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In that moment, 3400f1d99a Madeleine’s face slowly 0b739be60f flushed.a68ec248e86cd7d89c83

Ah, it’s ruined. From now on, it’s going 3e7f534197 to be hard to get da7c06f54d things back on track. Aubrey clicked his 899d57acc3 tongue and opened dba3ab06f2 his mouth again.a54251e9bed3773a6232

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“We’re both 120e202b85 in difficult eadb6a92c6 positions here. So, how about we b70d8a929c strike a deal? We’ll tell our fathers that 924cd3e845 we’ve worked things out through bcf6698801 conversation, that there’s nothing to 49d36ae474 worry about. That way, we 5fc4009831 can buy some fd7b2eefc7 time…”1a69daf4b98d74e14e97

“Really, you’re a3192a7690 too much. Don’t you have 0cb477bc0f any consideration or cd7a83b0fa respect for me 75a8652bd5 at all?”05e045ae01758a1ad24e

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Placing a hand on her chest, Madeleine looked as ab35351dbb though she were on the verge of tears. At this point, it would be wise a7c6c308b2 for Aubrey to back down, but he 14ba444e2f hated dragging out an awkward relationship.7549d9841d1788a0d959

“Well, if you hadn’t a691ec8d48 used Lennock, I might 5dd73e9839 have believed you were 0ec2686cff sincere with me…”4e1f87dedad52a671b38

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Before he could bea3f50096 finish his sentence, 0b1509c26f her left cheek a9136a9b0f sharply slapped him. It hit so hard 1170b6a6e7 that he couldn’t even e7218f8217 hear the sound; his b05d3cf03d eardrum felt numb. Aubrey bent forward c0e8e9f79d in pain.2a39662e2d2877f1ed67

“…Ugh.”d2b0602a05d114b81692

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With a soft groan, he covered his slapped cheek with one hand and 8e95c7a0b1 looked at Madeleine, who was glaring at him with tears in her eyes.952f760165e52b3b7ffa

“You really 4db668a1b0 are the 6874f24de4 worst kind 2fe2bcb972 of man. I won’t forget 923f0ebcc0 the humiliation I 4a324440ae faced here today.”79934bba37b9da101404

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Aubrey wished she wouldn’t think 1997f58561 of him so poorly. Everyone had their own untold struggles, and if she calmed down, 0614e5fcca a way to resolve things amicably might come to mind.d522de099effb3a0147c

“Wait, Young Lady, e413c1050e just listen to 2856983f8b me for a 505bf0612e moment…”4d9b11ff9ef7ee4ca6a3

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But Madeleine didn’t 7adc6f72d9 wait for him c1ca75a434 to finish. She quickly turned ecf18814f6 and ran off, 5bd710cd12 disappearing before Aubrey dd5eed1997 could stop her. He stared at her 16bd72fb0f retreating back, then leaned 0bddcb0a49 against the wall, sighing.8daba116bed6edd49482

The sound of her heels 592310f16e faded as she walked away, e15aa7b92f and Aubrey pressed both hands 1a51085c6a to his cheek.bcdda33de4ff75b3a976

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“Damn, that hurts.”49d360dfc2929af8c706

He groaned, remembering how the last fd94c787b4 time his father hit him, it e8835a96b6 had barely hurt at all. The sting from c3cd1aeee6 Madeleine’s slap felt 864d6bd005 far worse.3c1168015a9f5acafa1f

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“I won’t even 7d9ada915c be able to 87d91a3863 go back alone 034398c8da like this…”3bd43a6d43be1e36d5c0

He already felt the a7d83f27de heat rising in his 0ab26d86cb cheek and the swelling 7f54f26252 starting to form. Aubrey let ddbc8ca411 out another b6ce8a64d4 deep sigh.40969b8c2eab9302e09d

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Was he f58eca987b too hasty? But he didn’t want to force 2256f4c7b0 something he didn’t feel like doing. He didn’t want to kill his c54237bd66 own personality and drag out an 02a08b96b7 annoying relationship just for the sake 4c00ad80e3 of maintaining it.a2db834354d0330b6ad2

Well, if it ended e6b30e9f28 with just a slap, ebba697d13 that would be fortunate…4390475f5abab69709b2

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“Father is going to hear 1b31ecc905 about this, isn’t he? What a disaster.”6059eb4950ab625b9060

Muttering to himself, Aubrey took 740666b18f his hand off his cheek e9de619818 and ran his fingers through 7c98e09faf his messy hair. Frustrated and irritated, he suddenly felt the urge 3f066aa9ab to just sit down and let everything go.fab347d1111e84c2c82e

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“…”31a96655a143b56cfad2

Sitting dejectedly in 9b76a8bb0e the corridor, Aubrey 4bcc22cce3 looked around. There was no one c1b194a6ee around, and it felt 96e5a865b0 like no one was 587805862f watching. He could just acbb9dc630 slip away somewhere, ee3c7d1ff0 and no one caf8c60dd8 would know. But he 0400e55a3c couldn’t do 0d062355da that.d0fbf6c982596563c077

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The rules Aubrey had learned through 86b92aa84d his repeated regressions were twofold.c008a698fd9a83ad7b14

One, that he couldn’t dcd6d37d54 stop Lennock from awakening.bfb6c43ea24bfb28a51d

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And two, that 51f09ec8a2 he might never f2d36a71d3 escape this never-ending 1d6e02740b cycle of life.7c42e3b2641625df07b9

“Damn it.”e409cb5b1bd244e08474

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Aubrey cursed softly 7ae8e19c81 and buried his 522d7fd673 face in his 896806311f palm.e0c644df9a0b9390e85f

Sometimes, he couldn’t 4db76b2782 control his emotions 3820a0a4f6 or his state d977f81ff8 of mind. The pain and suffering from his own circumstances—things no d1caf3fadc one else knew—could feel suffocating, horrifyingly unbearable at times. Every time, Aubrey would lash out 2dc24a6b36 in one form or another.423b1e8eb806ab9752dd

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He would run barefoot like a madman, break 6b334a8e27 things, scream, roll around, or even hurt himself. And after doing so, he e6761a40c7 would feel a bit relieved. He would be branded as ab08e39f9f insane and end up in 81abbb26fa a mental hospital, but he a48a15b051 didn’t care. He had experienced 827d367ffc it all before.f695b4a5b7ba2a580d42

Maybe he should f28a12a60f do it again. Embarrass himself completely 4a29c51d0d in front of 11c4e13a43 everyone, in a a87142904e public place. If his father heard about d8e989d423 it, it’d just end in 25e40a7888 a whipping or another trip 37838aed68 to the hospital. It wouldn’t 1c0d9a5895 be the eb8109ba54 first time. There was d1efc22429 nothing to 9d7993e2ce fear anymore. Aubrey rubbed 2edc20c883 his face.e44d270ff317c7e494f7

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His cheek throbbed. At the same time, 921de68dc1 it felt like the 7da705efc1 pain in his back 469644360a was returning. In an a0e4f71c5b instant, his 228f1b19b2 reason snapped.062b71f2730ff29624cd

With a stagger, Aubrey 7e12c32d99 stood up, exhaling a b8e8fa135b long breath, and started e65dd44e33 walking with heavy steps.f1129caf9a1ae18bf29f

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