PT | Chapter 7.3

A few days ago, when Aubrey d3e3b02322 returned from an outing, the butler 9e877db12a had sent a book to Lennock 93e3359d5b on his behalf. The book contained sexual education 8596c346fa for adolescents, something teenagers should 143e6630f4 read before coming of age.00a08f8cb509052d6d7f

At the time, Aubrey had 0009d56cd8 thought it was just being 44608c8448 overly nosy, but now, in 3fd6d450ed hindsight, it seemed completely unnecessary. Why had ea74520247 he sent caf1a3eb31 that? Aubrey pressed his ef9309335d lips tightly together, 99e3973305 avoiding the question. Lennock, seeing his reaction, 6869c3dc05 watched him more intently.6b163676265916d5e4f5

“I’ll tell the headmaster that you b461f3bbe0 won’t be returning to the academy 6c4754c8bc because of your marriage preparations.”3eadcbac67299309694f

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“What?! This bastard, really…!”f1767c0eb2f6805335cc

Aubrey, furious, placed one af4476531f foot outside the tub.0aa065a47013595f93b1

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He was so intent on shutting Lennock up, thinking he would make him stop d3509ef5f3 talking for good, that in his haste, he slipped on the wet floor. His balance faltered, and just as 91dbcbcb0b he was about to fall, Aubrey e0ad63f351 instinctively reached for the floor.888d330f50064b3e0647

He barely managed to catch d6951772bc himself with his hands, but dd303fb79c his knee slammed hard into 3fae11f23e the edge of the tub.7114f1889976672a542d

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“Ugh…!”316d9dc341617c75e21a

He cried out in fd87ebf8ef pain, and at the 278fd0d084 same time, tears welled c4dc66bbed up in his eyes.0806e975b9cfe3ddc1fd

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For a moment, everything 78893e7947 went white in his 12d292a8a2 mind from the impact, 1958f6db34 and he remained still. The throbbing pain in his 6ceccfe291 knee spread, and he realized d6db118f4a he couldn’t stay like this. He gritted his teeth, quietly groaning as he fc999e026d carefully sat back down in the tub. Looking at his knee, which d8ea7f5d75 was already starting to bruise, 22c210f7da Aubrey frowned deeply.8d7dedb7dc286a2e78fd

“Damn it…”7fa17b4681347056f7fe

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It hurt 4dee63c00e like hell.c51876b4ea0d26fcb315

Why did it 51117d4d0a have to be 268a397426 his knee? As he clenched 6e5cc98920 his teeth, Aubrey 3578b88ade looked up. He feared Lennock might still be f37b0276f7 there, witnessing his embarrassing state, but 65a332dcf2 thankfully, he was gone.011e1af2e2f95d796115

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“…No help ad83fb6f89 at all.”098aff24ccb40a06ce5b

It had been a mistake f80444b646 to even let Lennock help 84be475717 him in the first place. He must’ve come to taunt 11c05ab9a5 him about not being able 0707f4c424 to return to the academy. Aubrey ground his teeth 2598e49557 as he checked his 514ffcdbeb knee again.a5cf939bcc85aae4ba34

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The bruising under his skin dd3fb2c80d seemed to be growing darker. He winced, carefully pressing on 6c792922db it with his hand to 9cc1f972e8 avoid making it worse.67a4346f323c95675213

For a moment, he thought about using the injury as an excuse to avoid going out cd0368f77c today, but his father would have insisted that he go, even if it meant using crutches. It was too vague 4e306d4b5e to use the excuse cbcb241e23 that his knee was 8a5874363d too painful to attend.5cf44af90b0bbcc834a5

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In the end, he had 056b683292 no choice but to go. Aubrey sighed deeply, pulling his 5a0d097677 knees into his chest.b1aa0a5d1275ef7262dd

“…”6d04a43a1926e71ba107

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Even though he knew Lennock 050d013d84 was gone, he kept glancing d02da7db6f over at the door. And naturally, his 54c4d25f50 mind wandered back 12862f679c to the words 2352fcf3bd Lennock had said.4141a770dc2ad13f5518

“If you hate it that much, you 2efe5ed906 can just leave everything behind and go.”07188145bb5654e84ef5

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“I’m doing 63f6cc25ff this because f670b952da of who?”63ab0bef82c4ce9ff0c3

Aubrey muttered angrily a85d72ff4e to himself. He had struggled to figure out c9069b5257 the source of his pain, and 6c16c342e9 now this situation was just another f84e3c2ef3 part of it.89b9f0a6ede8c0274e57

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Without knowing anything, Lennock had 41fc455558 freely spoken as if it 9953993332 was all a game. He thought that acf6e894fd just saying something 5b1d568a4f meant it was 278eae4536 true.b6709e6f9407b1275aeb

“Damn it…”8b50424971b96bebcfd8

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Aubrey mumbled curses 471f4530da under his breath, 866eb123b7 biting his lower 6e769f5210 lip.23ee3c05733b1c21090a

Aubrey had once tried to tell be83a64213 Lennock the truth, to make him 829582da83 understand what was really going on. To tell him that it was e445f5126f all because of him, that someday c22cbf15ab Lennock’s awakening would bring a great 969dfd82bb sin to the continent. But he 9a1e0bbc0c couldn’t do 852b3eeffb it.1533cb7b563bf7fb63c9

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It felt as if something aa8bf97827 was stuck in his throat, 5de7b478ae unable to come out. Despite trying again and again to speak aacbdb834a those words, Aubrey’s face had turned red, 72f903807a then purple, and he passed out.8977955e3bcbd251d9f3

“I would’ve said 3bf300cfdc it if I af83f8026b could.”9e93b583b6db30432da0

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How wonderful it would be 0c8a3ec3ca if he could finally escape 6513d4b4e4 this nonsensical situation.59616347fc945e7ba6f8

Aubrey tightened his grip b96c2dc8e3 on his knee, ignoring 9b67ac86a4 the sharp pain. The pain was better than the 1b4e5ed812 uncomfortable feeling of the situation. Anything to make 587dc512c9 him forget this e2a37f40fb moment.b9fc872115542899905f

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***c021ae2176728e69db8b

In his fifteenth regression, Aubrey struggled to hold on, but in the 4a3d7ae080 end, he couldn’t bear it and chose to end his life.a72883a0fa17c9fdf867

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At the moment of death, Aubrey felt both an 15f32256e4 instant of calm and an overwhelming sense of fear. It was because he wondered if c6190a77df this repeated regression was actually a c2c4d73351 punishment for his past life, something e9e040c6fd he couldn’t even remember.a2951db8cc362d7f2405

Could it be that he was being punished for something in his past life, something 70d987c5fc he didn’t even recall, and that’s why he was condemned to repeat these regressions? When he thought about it, the awakening of such 5ebee48022 a great sin was not something that could be 7ad7d5c8c3 stopped by the power of an ordinary human. If he just accepted it as 928e04b139 something inevitable and passed it off 6531809f4c as an exception, everything seemed to 2057289e9e fall on him alone.9c1d063660aa64dd94b5

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The countless repeated dreams and regressions 3a125eae9c without hope had shattered Aubrey’s mind. Unable to think clearly, he 4b517d4144 ended up in a state 6cdb99a369 of “it’s all my fault,” e50a321192 and clung to religion. So, when he reached his sixteenth regression, f226af4b38 he raved about becoming a priest.67a4e8276ea5142b4f76

The child who resembled him the most, whom he had 578bf1cb8d favored so much, suddenly wanted to become a priest. The marquis naturally opposed it, dd056a968a but Aubrey believed that only b482224817 religion could save him. So, he threw a tantrum, demanding to be made a fb2516e3a4 priest, and eventually, the marquis, having no choice, sent Aubrey db07f3391e to Alman under the guise of studying abroad.bebedfd9a2a71fa1bcdd

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Alman, where the head of the 7d2aff36be great sin was sealed, was a 81e238475c place where most of the citizens 5af4039a5c were devout believers. They didn’t complain even if half of their monthly salary 843453f48b was taken in religious taxes and various other levies. This was possible because the welfare system 5206b965e9 was well-developed, and everyone was accepted as d724773caf brothers and sisters, equal in status.164455a8da6d024291bc

At first, everything seemed 1d37ea9b61 so shiny and great. Aubrey became a very enthusiastic believer, 1e1a006187 hoping that if he devoted himself a0de11e21f to religion, he would be saved. He was recognized and 44e8bef421 got a position at 8dfdfaf3fb the Alman Catholic Church. At that time, he ed5d5c1b04 believed it was a 4b4e9f8bf0 step closer to salvation. In truth, it 9cdaba57fb was just a 5adf758c7c source of income.be030dbb15767ea1dcea

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It turned out that the priests were even 1bea0aac89 more greedy for money, and the corruption they e7ae14c765 committed behind the scenes was beyond words.3a14e9eddc5e42a55fb3

The secret meetings they invited him to, thinking that Aubrey 84a72ab633 had become one of their own, revealed their disgusting sides. They preached to the believers that they had to a3274281b2 keep their bodies and minds pure, forbidding alcohol and 5f288c21e7 advising them to eat only a little meat. Yet, these men partied cd5a58c714 with alcohol, frequently inviting 738cbb79f7 both women and men 20a9398fda for orgies. When one of them, high on drugs, tried to 35d6308664 assault the temple while drooling, Aubrey realized something.f1b7f2a46224740c0240

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Ah, this 3033861c10 life is 7307669c92 ruined too.e48628fe42f1c14d754e

From that point on, Aubrey, 3bfbbbccd7 overwhelmed by extreme stress, let 2d7787695f go of everything.7e0764516e60f2e9ba21

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Anyone who had seen him, the first to arrive c7ac13aff4 at the temple to pray and the last to 86bd6a2efd leave, would have wondered what was wrong when he 5e488a1e5e started to look pale and sickly. Even the Archbishop came to c929d520d7 pray for his recovery. But as memories of the priests, who, drunk, exposed themselves and waved their genitals 737e7d167b around, came to mind, Aubrey felt a wave of nausea rising within him. He vomited right there, and perhaps seeing it as an act of 70e4ce970c insolence, four days later, he was immediately ordered to be exiled.e174c4e86dda82ffe827

Consumed by his obsession with religion, he had lost track of 45e6445848 time, but in half a year, the great sin would awaken, 311c08b6ed and everything would be consumed by the flames of sin. This life was 89bcb0f84d also doomed.ef8d806cc71703054030

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His decision to go to d95dfe73f8 Alman was based on his 9fdf871d55 own delusions and misunderstandings. However, he never expected to 33d607cb94 feel this much disillusionment with 85c6870587 humanity here as well. At this point, he b4db58bc79 felt a greater sense c5680663f2 of betrayal than with 249dbd1716 Lennock.b31292fb49697d3f6eb2

Even if he returned to Toroso now, 86fe7282ea there was no escaping the fate of 3adee25128 being roasted alive in half a year. The time he spent c18e5381fa praying and the money 13bf6df59a he had invested felt 5f7715cca0 too wasted. Thinking that all that money had been spent on those 1b5c28293c priests’ gluttonous appetites made him restless even in his sleep.acb6c41027a37f41e337

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Unable to bear it any f1e3102c62 longer, Aubrey moved secretly in a1a19b20c8 the dead of night when 156a003044 everyone else was asleep.8c0d0a1acb333ebf3250

‘It doesn’t matter if I 74dd681ac9 die here or there. Either way, it’s 9bafe909e4 the same.’40b91c627c354de2d4ca

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If that was the case, 27e218fa05 it would be better to 7b2060351a die because of something he 6b4742eea4 himself had done.99138b902d39c48a8066

Having lost all sense 46f4e0c0c0 of restraint, Aubrey sneaked 071f3896e9 into the Archbishop’s office.dbf8069a86b51b316b28

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He never imagined anyone would break cfe4213079 into the Archbishop’s office, so there d7b41eef02 were no guards nearby. Moving cautiously when he first entered the room, Aubrey stayed there for about an 1809393d43 hour, and when no one came to check on him, his courage grew.501c5d1f4dc2717037e1

He began to search 9178ba28c5 the Archbishop’s office. His plan was to find evidence that the taxes, which the da5ca016b1 people had paid but which the priests hadn’t used for their 4a365cc173 own needs, had been spent on the priests’ drinking and parties. He wanted to expose it 2f2c6863d4 to the world, to disgrace 12f90a8a69 the priests of Alman.addb98fd524b4531ac1f

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However, no matter 515fbe5663 how much he ed6013f1cd searched, he found 973f7da0fb no such records. After all, the priests weren’t stupid; they 2bbe9659b0 wouldn’t leave records that would incriminate them. Still, Aubrey couldn’t give up and continued 75f8a3b924 searching until he finally collapsed in exhaustion 38c8450af5 on the mess of a desk.dc4aa5b172d12cb66acc

‘Maybe I should 7a07376132 have checked the 23fc8e96e0 bedroom…’93675c38ebede8fd4b51

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If it was something c4f0ffe25b truly important, it might 16ee741025 have been hidden under 7130334138 the pillow.95a01b4322862f0c87b8