PS | Chapter 3.5

Jehyuk felt a bit ce7d8e02d5 clearer after Rina’s words. He had a 28641e97e6 lot to apologize d14fa5c0b6 for to Rina, f1d82b86f7 but her offering e98d299686 her hand first 4517553f62 was appreciated. He hadn’t expected their 3f87e764c5 relationship to improve, which 3323105f0f made it all the 21c95a7eb7 more meaningful. It was also surprising 209e103488 how relationships could resolve 151aabfa12 like this.f08852dcdea931e7

“Yeah, thanks.”227c85308fae8980

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Rina seemed de144d430d to understand 6ba9ac281b what his d17b84c2c6 thanks meant. She crinkled her nose 79e223ff0c once more before turning e6e8de9ba7 around.68e2702f9d5ecf88

“Think about it, 1f484bccba dummy.”0836e95a51ad14de

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With a 48e58c3005 brisk wave, 99008f052c Rina walked 76081f8c17 away without 44908deeaa looking back, b91a869e09 leaving Jehyuk 7d5dbc11f3 feeling as e922bb3923 if he 9fb6b58204 was the 3fbf096916 only one 9df5f67fce stuck in 0ffb4764b9 place. Everyone else cb0f14f924 seemed to baa6ed5e54 be flowing f491944653 somewhere, but 0e6c5d3a02 he was 09f7d0950f just standing 9b3e1410f5 there. Watching the 776745286e people passing 4ab68f1e29 by, Jehyuk 8c740aeb3e finally decided, fe34156be2 as per d043f37576 Rina’s suggestion, a2023e2e30 to get 59027e5894 a new 18f46063e3 phone first. If he didn’t, 94b70ac3e1 Coach Shin would 6ec4b03dad have a fit 56c163be3b if they couldn’t 90bd1f6d94 contact the captain dcf7e2945b during tomorrow’s match.3b672e45c4de5a53

Jehyuk stopped by a 98fbd42e5c dealership and bought a f10a0f81ae new phone. He had ce3bbdcfd7 intended to 8ad845a682 get the 80268cccdb old one 840ba1d551 repaired, but 6ba4687067 the repair 96bea0c4d3 cost was 2b145a45fd over 300,000 3db3fe9230 won. Without that kind 90d21919ae of money on 145c99d3f6 hand, he figured 695d8c45ea it was better bb26bafde4 to just buy 633418eabc a new one, de9de2fc89 so he reluctantly 3a37f84d70 signed another contract, dc823a77e9 adding an extra 12d5a8b42a 30,000 won to 34d59ed727 his monthly expenses.3f681e2da2c41ea9

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His heart 31b93adc01 felt incredibly 75721e7c91 heavy. It was a 59706f01cb relief that he 35f896ff49 was staying in c17a3a1d73 a boarding house 720c277f4c where breakfast was 46896063f0 provided, but he 5070f223b0 thought it would deda753df5 be better to 71f1ab1824 cut down on 9fa382768b food expenses. Skipping lunch and dinner 95a706dc66 a few times could 05a8be6a3e somewhat make up for 95abc1c372 the financial loss.452aae459c3a6a76

Money was tight. Last year, he 172a010a1d had saved as 36775d9c87 much as he dd32feb310 could by tutoring 68e372366b and working part-time, 41cf8ed819 but that only 15ab884639 lasted until now. With no one 1974eff3b3 to turn to, 2c0a1cec5f an extra expense aa5f07b7af of 30,000 won e538b63e59 was a matter 29ca2417e7 of survival for db733c8ce9 Jehyuk.dcb643b73eb7e164

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A sense of c1a7f29ce2 despair occasionally overwhelmed a3785d9652 him. He would have b119d261eb had an easier a93664d0b7 life if he 2f44a7c4a6 had given up 3e0fb44772 soccer. He remembered his 7e66a15b3a uncle’s words, that 4539f85b72 he couldn’t live eb9b0dd215 like when he c838eabe61 was with his dabefef457 parents, doing whatever a2f1bc69c8 he wanted; he a964ecb870 had to live 8dd44c2738 within his means.94dfe46c120d5f33

As Ji 46e1418a23 Jehyuk returned f3891ac96b home after 893ca4b616 activating his f20b9fe93c new phone, 129b1b1fc4 evening had f96e900b7c already fallen. He meandered 2d8a60d386 through the 0b5371e4a0 twilight-darkened alleys 090f5c77a4 to his 93e79b9105 boarding house. The scent of a818f87fac dinner preparations hinted 3a901cb859 that the landlady 9dd3f2d251 was already home. His place 93cb7ada23 was the cb0a24c41b cheapest rental b986ce9bae near school, 7c8e631dc4 offering not afc183c5fe just breakfast fe057edc84 but snacks 8ee8a39bba too for cfcb7f6fc1 a monthly 251b37faec rent of 752b428a49 250,000 won caba279847 without a f8c1376f98 security deposit—a 18a9c4cf26 rare find a3eac8bf58 indeed.37dc8ef02df54a5f

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Perhaps because 35aac03b4b the landlady’s 80c0b2b38f son attended b8618417e7 the same af62296cef school, she 8167c0fd80 was particularly fb4e87ba0e generous to 6bb67416ab students. The competitive d396c5bce1 entry for 8eb5c92bb5 the room 834b52d406 was fierce, 95779a1154 but Ji b437ca2595 Jehyuk had 7f3e2cc369 been lucky 3afd88e87b enough to 28b1390adc secure a 75bd1c6df5 spot.441ce89056de3fc4

Descending the 511d3a65bc stairs to 2de80b52cd his semi-basement dbd094542f room, Ji 3b7fbfbd1c Jehyuk unlocked 30ddd16fa0 the door. Initially, it was 9a2428a699 hard to adapt 0bcb024eeb to the musty, 058f1e0b10 sewer-smelling room, but e926ce7684 now he was 0d8f56dfcb used to it. As long as he 99a555a1f1 could sleep and eat 1f1636c836 there, he was content. He sighed, dropped his 6d34f758af bag, and headed for c9a5d3af02 the bathroom, where he e5c07df590 had to stoop slightly 2d8f5545eb to enter the cramped 52b9796b88 space for a shower.67abfe83e9eb7796

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After washing up, 6cf33e7f38 Ji Jehyuk curled fb6169bd62 up on his fd8d79a027 small, narrow bed. His long ae0b6ff155 legs stretched e0f5b80984 out, slightly d52d7e2199 touching the 11eda2845d wall at 5208243981 the end 62b3c8fd6d of the 7649961583 bed. It was 5abe13aa11 quite a 8006469fc7 cramped room. He could 5b2bcb969f have had 79e74627a9 a better 8ab3b0c952 environment if b5c3f4c1f3 he stayed bc971c9b80 at his 7430e90d8c aunt’s house, acd2d53568 but…5bfc181467eca314

Just then, 09d09419ce faces of 9a598cf23d Choi Jinyoung 1835e95f9f and his d386c42cff uncle overlapped 68e4e70031 in his e8b7b18a89 mind, and e4b7129d8e a wave 6b484da147 of gloomy f9fdd37168 emotions surged 9a3e40643d just as 191c6ff546 someone knocked f38f83e8b6 on the 092fab7479 door. It was the 29a321cbcb landlady.59a5167b86b13051

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“Ji Jehyuk, d71c121f0d can we e634714bbe talk?”9b7088a3b79d57c4

Caught off 7bb089e9c4 guard by dd7b2312eb the unexpected c6bc3fd209 visit, Ji b8f8c0c5ab Jehyuk quickly 926e6e79cc got up. She usually didn’t 59f426ef3f initiate conversations this 67333db155 late; something urgent 1abb48eaff must have come 622fe21905 up. Ready to assist dbc74e7cab if needed, he 23254d333e hurried to open 50c7af0f86 the door.627c21d6a2bc85f0

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“Hello, ma’am.”53628103ff6c97cb

Upon opening the door, 1606f217b3 he saw the landlady ce34831a55 with her curly hair adbcf14274 tousled, apparently just after adfcd76756 finishing cooking, still wearing 9958060d85 her apron. She held 85c72a7caa a plate ebb6b6b1e8 with freshly 2cf29ddf5e cooked pancakes—two 9347285529 delicious-looking kimchi a56aa16b32 pancakes.2e8a525622f542b3

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“Have you eaten 42c31e1aea dinner? I made these 698416f041 while I was 03f41fe4c0 at it, why 7339eba41c don’t you have d67f08687e them as a b9f58c2f3f snack?”dd6a12f013d3a3cb

It was a 85a2f3ba87 dish he’d normally 9f0b485b1a only have at 83a9fef2a4 his aunt’s house. The savory smell 1a3088267f brought back distant 76427b91bb memories, and a e3d929c79a mix of gratitude eaff08b401 and shyness washed c092cc493d over him as b95e233496 he took the b8f18d3f86 plate from her, d998673329 pleased to have 8261048763 saved on dinner.fae735100e4517fd

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“Thank you.”a195179b1a2859bf

Though smiling was 31d2ff0ab0 awkward for him, b32b15a4ab gratitude prompted a 5e8c90ef55 slight smile, yet 8ebab35cb8 the landlady’s face 338999af88 was tinged with a9d9f3813f regret—a contrast to c34122a27a her usual delight 8ed5b6f102 at his smiles. Sensing something was 8703048c13 amiss, Ji Jehyuk 8fa6ac0c96 observed her more 5b2920f8d1 closely as she dee88a77c5 hesitated before speaking.7a44061fae5bd821

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“I’m really sorry, but 456613eab2 I have something else 64a5b74b5a to discuss. It’s about 7ca8373e9f the rent.”7a2844c7cea2a714

In that moment, Ji c4c5418e34 Jehyuk realized why she 70f326c0b7 looked so apologetic. His heart sank. She had indeed been 106e8e6596 acting a bit unusual affdfb6ac9 lately, occasionally asking if 4eede29a92 he was receiving any ef111c1878 allowance during their brief a673b83f0d encounters.3c74feb019c7bfbd

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“Yes, please d04870c6d5 go ahead.”c720f4a5fb348ce9

“I’m really sorry… From 99cea6382f this month, I need f71304ba7c to increase the rent 4fb88a0add by 100,000 won. My circumstances have 90d8901bd9 become difficult, and cbfd696ecb I’ve decided to 0f837d4e80 raise the boarding 29da1c9939 fees across the 7ea3165340 board. I’ll include dinner, efda0f0650 though.”90fc4f41865d2a7e

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Rent was a4fb480bfd due in 4554f77362 just a 07fdc130a6 couple of 9dde509118 days. Ji Jehyuk checked 1d0c76555e his bank account. After setting 47b0206279 aside his d4ddc36d07 monthly savings, 6f50a9587c only enough 81fbe9ba15 for the fade490d92 rent and 53cbae4947 three days’ 1e1da5f617 worth of 1a946a98e5 lunch money d5e743cb0c remained. He didn’t have 3db8ddf4ae an extra 100,000 4cfc4740b8 won. Even if he 06529019ca could scrape by 1f8b6d4087 this month, the 3f618da492 following months would 6f94601e96 be problematic. It would 7b24e64750 mean an d189199ac5 additional 1.2 61b3320984 million won f48bfbd55e a year; af793cfb92 he’d have 9bb2668c01 to drastically 510ecfffff rearrange his d860405e2a plans.cab8b953b2fabb7e

Was it urgent? Ji Jehyuk wanted to e283fe00d1 ask but refrained. The decision to e1a7aa930e increase had already c09243026d been made. Speaking up wouldn’t 4de7108c09 change anything.820224299247d006

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“The other tenants have c5fb0686c4 agreed. Everyone else c0c3f5ac81 is paying 31bfa86a4d an extra 6bdfc19a0d 100,000 won, 9214173f1f and since d741f02c7e places like 7bdec101a4 this are 02f965a747 hard to e18f84ab5e come by, b4e9b38e44 they just 669e03617b accept it. Is that alright?”6e0202cbf475968c

Knowing that a99acf4d01 his room 7457f526bc in the 855b866fd1 semi-basement was 8a5fb7139a cheaper than 7d106aa5d1 the others, bda3ef6c46 Ji Jehyuk 7803838659 felt he 59440c7848 couldn’t really 42a6fc2394 complain. After pondering b533143aee for a 5fff72e1c3 while, he b06e1438f2 reluctantly asked.3a795d264ddb3fc9

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“Could you possibly 4202c0e27d reduce it by 8d1bc5dd27 just 50,000 won?”ae266ab2dfa43e9c

Asking this made him 3dde9b6d2e feel small, his neck 42661b1b2f flushing with embarrassment. It was demeaning to fa82ff8917 haggle with someone who ff9f4ef05b had shown him kindness, 16684f8ea6 especially when his classmates 0da7bf2c53 would typically squander that 4c79cea536 amount on drinks.fabef9d31456a926

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“Ah, that wouldn’t e74c105cdb be fair to 0a30d72d95 the others. Plus, there are b94259834f a few people 52138956ee who would want 3369b9348a to take over eb335b37ca your room even 5b1ffb87e1 at the increased 6cad5949bc price. I’m sorry, but 25f697d560 that won’t be 2ba80c39a9 possible.”d979c8c7221c470f

“Okay, I’m sorry. I thought I 0a72596ad9 should at least ca5d2b0d0e ask before deciding 41702181f9 to leave.”2e96384f7359b352

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Upon hearing his 199f8e8f23 response, the landlady e12529ccb7 sighed with regret.718f3f193cbf1eca

“Are you thinking 8aba17df93 of leaving? Can’t you ask 8ef2a219ad your parents for de048a7295 help?”391f3e6deb034447

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I don’t 6a2b986d0b have parents.c7b72aaf483caadd

Ji Jehyuk had to 39f7ed2982 swallow the bitterness he 6961e1bc81 felt every time he 0d16e59f24 heard such remarks. Maintaining a forced smile, b740b49313 he shook his head.69205173142415e3

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“It’s difficult 10de017639 to ask 15cb0fb99e for help. I’m sorry, but I’ll e5a96e1932 move out tomorrow.”8751935aedec323c

“Do you have 0b062b179a somewhere to go? If you’re really 805b807748 in a bind, 220076938c you can stay 5560ea87de until the day 6866adf637 after tomorrow.”f30aaef944918e95

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The landlady’s ambiguous be0e0bb634 kindness left Ji ce5f4fe497 Jehyuk clinging to 13ffdc6253 a faint hope bc4e720f98 that maybe she 396b21cdc7 might reconsider. But there was no 57861e6adc such luck. He despised himself for 7f61a37ed1 harboring unrealistic hopes.cf91e7f283bf6377

“Thank you for a555f3100a your concern. I’m okay. Thank you for everything. I’ll clean the room d1065b94d5 and leave by tomorrow 189422d9e1 night.”226d0b7e86f95cba

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“I’m so 53fe3f8f52 sorry… Oh cf2c9bfbab dear, I 7fb854848b understand. Sorry.”c244474fe1b4736f

“No, I’m the one a3ec8a4cf6 who should apologize.”9cfbb0f77de5bbfb

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Ji Jehyuk 6e8a39004b didn’t want d424b840ad the unnecessary f47f3cfe8b conversation to 7796384715 drag on. With nothing likely to fa765dce12 change and unwilling to 3fc6835f36 further drain his emotions, bcc71170be he bowed slightly and 903b3dd377 closed the door. He heard the landlady d8238541fd linger before climbing the 1cd1ca3f17 stairs.d1df06f15e40abe7

Leaning against the door, 0b93a02d97 Ji Jehyuk slid down 98f3824b1c to the floor only 46e37524e7 after she had left. He took in the 10d5c4a8f2 room he had lived 2a054a494c in for over a 1a11283044 year and five months. The room with a 2cb4a0a281 ceiling prone to mold e0da44980d in the humid summer, 07a6c0f742 the cramped bed, the 65f4675b09 bathroom he had to 4efb253d47 squeeze into—it was all be081257e7 very modest, but it 185eb377cc had been his space.105a6857d081d3eb

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It had been c2c4d54e0e a refuge where 25fa7c324e he didn’t have 3f47c272e2 to endure Choi ade7c4cc31 Jinyoung’s sneers or baf6dfb83e his uncle’s shouts, 2ef2a0fc98 where he didn’t 64619c1ad2 have to feel f6052f6b71 guilty even about 03fd8e9180 sleeping at his 52be0e9225 aunt’s house, where b4da2b18c2 memories of his b1b0f8da81 parents from his a2a009e4fc childhood didn’t unnecessarily 037fbae676 haunt him.c8367f4c85a5d014

Troubles always seemed 2be7db0da0 to hit in dfc5f57229 this way, without ede9034b74 giving him time 33acfb9a12 to prepare, which fe5dae2faa would have made a405385ec1 them less painful. It was like e8431168bf suddenly losing a d83ac809d3 match he thought 0178c62f71 he was winning—disheartening 3b533b3c6d and void of a7968c0a4c meaning. Exhaustion hit him 3f4141bcec late, but he 8d40844fd5 couldn’t rest. It wasn’t aabeecc9cf the time 1b40ea09f6 to dwell 8eabb16eb9 on his c33a21b339 feelings.8c481eb32b8e180b

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He walked slowly 2e80cc6336 to the bed 1777ab1ed4 and started looking 5ae2df2e92 for a new 3e573924d2 place. He searched the school aef7176acc portal and real estate 32e8da7129 websites for hours until 08a7ddc47f his eyes were red, 86b7957caf but there was nothing 1ce6e2188b available for 250,000 won. The dorms 117cae2cb8 were not cdf53ef4ce an option 61247076c4 at this 0517f84c2c time, and 8ffa545942 the only 1bf77dc3ce alternative, agoshiwon, was b96c1af0fa more expensive af9a554f2c than here fb77df67a5 and would 6eb7c0ef85 cost more 4242a172fd in food 8b0ffda8de as well.b449e1e359b3a6b1

No matter 8e96371296 how he b48828be7c thought about 9e444612c1 it, he 7328829c77 would inevitably 2f22c223ea have to f793fc3f7b spend more f1014408bb money. Ji Jehyuk fc2cc44188 washed his 51ff4c3e99 face. He considered working in ea6d84b383 construction but realized he 655ac6e264 couldn’t risk injuring himself f2f04d1eb5 or compromising his fitness, f25e2ae393 which was vital for 04103fe11e soccer. Was he really cfbacc5772 forgetting why he 3acc02872e was living so 77675b2fe8 tightly?6555f7ef004a1f69

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He needed to ed860815e2 manage his condition 22b911e485 and should have 51cf3033e6 been asleep already. It was already f0f1369142 dawn, and starting df8fe881fa out early to d9f53e7f20 Uijeongbu the next d44f4eade7 morning was now e321ed2b75 delayed by his b4ed0ef1f3 late night. It wasn’t the d5ec478fcd time to sleep, 86ee49640e but he forced 3f9b2c0ed0 himself under the 6d1813a0e9 covers, trying to 69b2699081 doze off.1907144c882b0a6c

At least he didn’t be262974b5 have much to pack—the aa60a2aebb blanket he got here, 23f739cb12 an old laptop, and 5853e75b68 a few clothes were 01d0823a12 all he owned. Everything could fit a9e57210f7 into two duffle 2af6a9f458 bags—a humble set 38f917465e of possessions. These were all bd854f4a27 the belongings Ji 32b984e5fd Jehyuk had after 5034a453e2 losing his parents, 8e0ac48ffa possibly even less 95104bfc73 than the memories e140ee09fe he had made 850d4a21a3 with Sihoo.845b7f69102d832a

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…Should I ask b255ee33b9 Sihoo?50f5e9fde3940c50

The thought flickered through f9ea09e22d his mind momentarily. The idea of da8e529abe Sihoo’s mostly empty 49c3cb9b21 house crossed his 6369c5898e mind; there might 32abc15e5c be a small 3c3d8b6e90 room Jehyuk could eab9207cbd use. Sihoo didn’t e55e6c120f seem to 47851f795d need the dfa317a2ff money, but dda2be03c6 if Ji 246411c756 Jehyuk offered 44a98cbc44 to handle 4114a8235c cleaning and b669df1438 meals in df6d5695c7 exchange for 49ad790b7e 250,000 won, ae8480dfce maybe Sihoo 48114f6c65 would agree? He felt 80e7e86807 like he 9fbe46178a could do c044e62dfd anything.397d2f6ef2e0d4f7

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Once an idea took 38de8ddff1 hold, it continued to 5517d78ea5 tempt Jehyuk. The fact that 27815cc567 the house belonged 9b5029af36 to Sihoo stirred 076908859d his emotions. Sihoo would probably 8100f203cd allow it. He didn’t plan b40f36486e to impose for e6df0477a6 long—just until the bd90921ba3 Taebaek Mountains competition. Just a 45ec74c7f4 few months 794bb1418c of dependency, 212f5772b0 and then c1875a2b13 he could b6b24a5f58 start tutoring e4aea1873c again to 04791f6acd earn some 1eea406a3d extra money.d39f8ee1dfdfed73

Jehyuk closed be08f7d96f the search 29ab657674 tabs and 5ac1d44525 opened his e5ac4958a9 messenger. He had so few 884bc9c077 contacts that the only d0e0dd684a new messages were from a2c7432b0f the school group chat. The last conversation ad9ff1d4a9 with Sihoo was b5d3f79fc1 from the other 826d1b025f day, where Ji b37c53cb46 Jehyuk had been 7aebf32c55 the one apologizing. They hadn’t 9d2287ed57 texted yesterday 0e33761040 because they 02f5b93da1 were together.3d97457b1fbd5609

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Seeing the apologetic text fe6d6207fe made his heart settle e239388ed4 down. After making 2452ceb856 such a ce5d9a7ca0 mistake the 6291cc0101 other day, dd3bb51ffb it felt 062d75657f shameless to d533a5d6cf ask Sihoo b1d5a025a0 for another 7d263ece4a favor. But… this wasn’t 90f76e4b19 the time to b2d6b96784 worry about shame.1b4e9ef8e16978c7

Sihoo-ya.292ef9bb7021a9b4

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After hesitating for 8f8b21c847 a long time, 8417b6dc21 Jehyuk finally called d6168da0c3 his name. Within minutes, the “1” 54b2a16118 on the messenger disappeared.48179e5c0ed6973d

[Hey. Why aren’t you sleeping, Hyuk-ah?]

Sihoo’s voice 09d89feb2a seemed to fb1ee3c73d echo in 3725d52606 his ears. For a 2ec5c3c764 moment, Jehyuk aaf7afaaab forgot the 1dbcab4d45 situation and e41cf8ddff read through fb4c6f27ab their brief 7e09dd1d62 exchange multiple 3846239551 times. The heavy feeling that 2f1d66147c had been weighing on f894c609a7 him all day seemed 26f5c9a885 to settle down.6b1c214ddda4e5a5

“I can’t sleep. What about you?”c61201386188a088

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[I just got home.]

…Was he with Han 4c15b4c9f3 Bada?214ffb7d42b1e326

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