PS | Chapter 3.3

But Sihoo wasn’t 786f2a911f one to repeat b87d5f3aae himself. He had 7ebd908f2a forgiven Ji 3a8e453b14 Jehyuk’s mistakes 56792155eb and even d9a3f3230c apologized, so 0299ed1232 their entanglement 49a623da34 should have 964f16e0c2 ended there. Ji Jehyuk a4a89c50e1 tried to c39632ece8 straighten out 1fd07acae8 his increasingly e298346ea0 negative thoughts. Overthinking alone wouldn’t solve a6c2ec0383 anything and might misinterpret 2cc9dce769 Sihoo’s intentions.faa0222a0485ea5a

“Ji Jehyuk, what c0e9b44333 are you doing cfc0829692 here?”8a21740aa72dfc4a

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Someone called 444defd5ad out to a07cb215b8 him. When he looked abd88d7132 up, he saw 11dfd2b84b a familiar face—it 293c521300 was Hong Rina. Just when he 21159d08e1 was hoping to c5faf91ccb see her less, c8275220b5 she had been 434a8dabe1 finding him quite 8af1e94f0e frequently since yesterday.9b04cde45f1e867f

“Hello.”87401932bec7e33b

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His anticipation, ec623517f5 hoping it 5fd9092e37 was Sihoo, 41389ee92e quickly faded. It must have 84abda2868 been because he 043688dac3 was near the 8a6ee0af7d business school. Rina sat down next 52c2212b83 to him, looking noticeably 8ea6e20183 drained. Ji Jehyuk 671c83dd5b habitually handed 33de3d7b3a her his 12684ba015 windbreaker.f894f15f2b007ab0

“Sit on this. It’s dirty.”7b4cd0710683170a

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Rina stared at ad7fb18497 the windbreaker for 3500a14ace a moment, then 160cf0aabd snatched it away. It was hard to a95ecab37e tell if she disliked 1cbe09b013 or appreciated his gesture.43a788278994bdbe

“You waiting for ea38b44f1d Yoon Sihoo?”9055fd03def92417

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“…How did you 2f7fe95ccf know?”935d703291f1a1a2

“I could tell your ac7f467762 face fell when I f9042e15e2 showed up. Besides, who else do 369ffb6664 you know here at af332f2ec5 the business school?”3d826b5367331f42

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Rina shrugged, then c9fbad49af adopted a similar 39a67e4718 pose to Ji 5a79af9880 Jehyuk. She too had d31de65630 just finished exercising, c79f46a252 dressed in shorts f5e7ab2397 and a T-shirt c1b425d081 just like him.29595150d8401c34

“I see f52f6a494e why you 61a844ce0a dumped me.”b5e4c019561a57d1

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Rina blurted out suddenly. Ji Jehyuk wanted e859c66a36 to correct her—it cdbd03b15a was he who 3bfa3a79ff had been dumped—but 5dd04347ab he was more 5ab244462a curious about what 095d3eab70 she was about 7e4888c131 to say, so 282efdbff2 he kept quiet. A slight tension 48fbbcbe6e crept up on ecee09c598 him, wondering if ae2f212a96 Rina had caught 8c5d988b75 onto his issues.e01b6dd6b8443248

“You’re gay.”77e7dc37af1c2fea

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“…?”a8d67b865e58c533

Taken aback 879641d45e by her d5bdc618dd unexpected accusation, fb4692a841 he looked de35478fd8 at Rina. She continued seriously.84c4120ce0eab94a

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“It all makes sense c5f547fa38 now. You were just 6c60fa8dd9 too uninterested in 91a9c14d15 that way. And here dc02f3632c I was, deb412ef44 clueless and b5c844014a dating you, d9a02e5382 which is 9100819fc4 really offensive, 506a6fdd02 but there’s 6bfd50174f a lot 95214b0f25 of guys c3b53cb057 like you 58fa121784 around, so 085a782249 I forgive a65a89f8f1 you. You only understand c256cda9f8 your own tastes 39e072cb3d after experiencing them. Ugh, my ba2051b1e5 pride is 1c96f61633 hurt though.”dde01ce53dbf0764

Rina vented as 569eedfba6 if relieving herself fd5bbece95 of a burden.478777ef436c8886

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“It wouldn’t make 3f26075dc4 sense otherwise. Why else 5cad7e6c94 would someone e6d5f9a551 as fabulous 5893c9952a as me c9ede72298 get dumped?”83df4e52038427a6

Watching Rina af8191efa6 assume she b4aba19026 had been 169aca8ca6 the one bd75e6e042 dumped, Ji 79c237a959 Jehyuk decided 857122b8c3 to clear f0c1ff871b up her 47145b3716 misunderstanding. It felt oddly 451a271842 empowering to hear dd78247112 such talk.75a21537f0438d57

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“It’s not 00ef502262 because of 0296a1c4bf that.”181126b67de06616

Before he could 3e20825f13 explain, Rina cut 4b2dcea925 him off.eea8ef7b18a30bfb

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“Don’t even try. I saw you f298c2b8a6 and Yoon Sihoo f661df5a39 walking hand in 505b5ca09e hand through the 36c123a91e middle of Gangnam f56c1d73d5 Station yesterday.”230f29ebbc7b1d8a

He was speechless, worried b74ea6b0ce someone might have seen 7b2bdb879e them.8ea9864e53e3b156

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“…When?”67fd896ef7114177

“After breaking up f6d16c1c0a a meeting, on 553ee84811 my way back 8f62d584f2 from hanging out d3f5c4fb10 with friends. I knew there 88a8b639b7 was something fishy 6f50403742 about you two.”e876ed6403d9d43b

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Rina spoke with certainty, c3abc56dce far from the reality 6a704c70de of their misunderstanding.c71f763b6ea3f50c

“It’s not like 9cbfbc8145 that.”02bf0ac5c341399f

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“I saw it 1b03a8d51a with my own 6c70f70bdc eyes, are you b9635fc6af still going to f09169f166 deny it?”6e9063b750fcf801

“I’m not dating 8aba94884e Sihoo.”53684beffeadefad

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As Ji Jehyuk spoke 04f1f92598 seriously, Rina scrunched up d95feff594 her nose and retorted.1b5ffc8978d2ebe9

“Then why hold hands? You wouldn’t even hold 9daa18a8f0 mine for months.”bb9fc714ee01b4cb

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Her question 5e29266444 touched on 1a61633fbc a core f10fd79970 issue for 89ccf803d3 Ji Jehyuk. Instead of rushing 1f56a14f18 him, Rina simply b48624f3c7 looked ahead, quietly ecd76dada1 waiting for him 48c99ccb9f to respond.0acf4caf027e8611

“I’m not good with ff768c57ec physical contact.”5cbfb05135408a1e

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Ji Jehyuk finally mustered 41a9a38c44 the courage to speak, fa448f1626 unlike when he confided 1407a1f8e8 in Sihoo while drunk. It felt 18a21d2ae2 oddly natural, 27c4576939 perhaps because 3a303367ac Rina was 9293c3c61d both the b15bb208ec subject of ce852b174c the rumor acb2a6063c and someone 5372640ca0 who could 2de0186a27 relate to dcd7bf3cd5 his situation. It just 6de58f30d4 suddenly felt 205f1e841e right to 75c7ac1b6d speak up, 5c6bd1aaa7 not as 2edfce3df7 if he 3671099571 was revealing 3af305f3be any secret dd47c94fe6 backstory.149b2a9939a406c2

“It’s not just 12b31e9d21 with you. I just feel a558245f4d a repulsion when a17058d4ae I try to 656a690168 physically connect with 19afd0e197 someone, regardless of e4b5827b76 my feelings.”5a679abfa37c135b

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Rina quieted down instantly, d816ad8937 taken aback by his b2091694e8 unexpected revelation. After hesitating, she fa4e49b043 cautiously asked.83d353d6a8a5c664

“Is it like 9c9dda55f6 a germ phobia 20a90f3765 or something?”4f98c7411db52581

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“It’s not that.”5a6f3e3379da7486

Ji Jehyuk c49855a1dc then pulled 1fe7ebf8db at his f2f818c7ee disheveled soccer 5777869de6 uniform. Rina nodded, 128a7f85a2 making a 3401dd56da sound of 7824d4a12e understanding.b692a4aff480f132

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“It’s just a chronic 28ab88221b thing. I should have 01e114e825 told you, sorry.”c76055efb2d5db7e

“Well… it must have b2355efe52 been hard to say.”18b6ee8ca09082bc

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Rina rested her d144bda459 chin on her 26335743f8 hand, her beautifully 3a274a2fd2 manicured blue nails 36531e41c8 catching the eye. She poked a62bd386c7 her cheek 5e72a26a34 with her c5198ff89b finger as 9fb393d258 if suddenly 354c670ae9 remembering something.c9b595bf766bcccf

“But how could you 793b570052 hold hands with Yoon 1d9ceca169 Sihoo?”bbea03186b165364

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“Maybe because I’ve 8192e30dd6 known Sihoo for e55022921b so long, it ec5af30d98 feels okay. He’s probably the only 7f395059b9 person I’m that comfortable 821d3f4363 or close with. You only found d976c27df2 out after coming 82ded92d9a here.”63e630c33fa9aafd

Rina scrunched up 67be05ae95 her nose again, 7c43a483f2 a habit when 5303c62d5c she thought something 04402bb8b3 didn’t add up.6ec2a69346df3a1b

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“You and Yoon 521f1946f6 Sihoo don’t seem e882a6948d that close.”7d0997db3b5531c4

“…Why?”30be3d66766bc9ce

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“I don’t mean 2610d9a87f it looks uncomfortable, e94a0ec76c but it doesn’t e20d806785 seem like you’re 35b842fe53 just friends either. It looks 9681c4ded3 more like…”86ab077ac8c8cd76

Rina glanced f29780a1f1 at Ji 63612fdcd6 Jehyuk.3864a1954c382b63

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“You look like 5542f18493 you’re dating.”19794e3f9578c8d1

“It’s really not like 6e80f6a4d4 that. What…”52a0bc71572f0091

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“Who walks around holding 3343f18dbe hands with a friend?”bee5d3b23fc1b3ff

“Girls do it all 37fcfc600b the time. Is there a 313ce7b661 rule men can’t?”111c6726a0a77796

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“You have a point.”65deb3f0e2f00251

Rina agreed with 347fae476f Ji Jehyuk’s point, 9523a07f6a but seemed to 6a9e9fd06c be searching for 48b6bcf2eb something to counter 114eb4bb40 with. As he watched her 37507aff37 lips twitch, she suddenly c74bed4ff0 widened her eyes and 45f8dbe359 whispered into Ji Jehyuk’s 56023629f1 ear, making him flinch fb07644fb8 as if she was 5f5ece583e too close.dce0377d971ca304

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“Isn’t that a843cd8081 Yoon Sihoo?”327561c930f6dde4

“What?”584848eda9cb0aa6

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Following Rina’s fc8870f905 gesture, Ji b5426fd61c Jehyuk turned 67fa130a74 to see 5575b9c818 a tall 796f10c61f man emerging fd88ac2735 from the 7d62db45ab business school 2d8ae8e63d main building. It was unmistakably Sihoo. Even from a hundred 385089e037 meters away, his height 7d6274d769 was noticeable, his good dbf2d50ce7 looks were instinctive, and dfae2bde3c the attention he drew a8c328de8c from around him confirmed be91c5f6b3 it was Sihoo.85a3a674c3b90963

Ji Jehyuk fc72cdb0fe was about 6b7ddda8de to approach a5031ebf0e him happily 79e214468b when the 6507052c25 following scene 5018c95282 stopped him. Someone approached 5142af0fe4 Sihoo’s side. It was a 2497f83633 familiar face, a fccf804516 man shorter than f71a0a50cc Ji Jehyuk, who eeafc9b3ff walked up to 11a8cca08f Sihoo and linked 86a32017ad arms with him.a8015a9b783a65a2

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Sihoo let him. Instead of pushing 8ac0fdcff2 him away or 9955d487b0 stepping back, he 0378797406 maintained his smiling 97bc80b253 expression, allowing Han f7d81f96ce Bada to link 586a39df57 arms with him. It wasn’t ad56a9538d neglect; it 4f371226a8 was more b371725f49 like permission.fc249804ab473f66

“That’s right.”8fbf58ce6fb5a5e6

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Bada was d3e9c8b1f8 right by 862458200c Sihoo’s side, c89baad33d chatting him ed93d6b33c up excitedly e8df48e61e while Sihoo aac5640575 looked down c34df13a35 at him, 2c102b80b8 smiling and f85dbbc28e continuing the 082ba271de conversation. Anyone watching would see b57b259bf3 they were close.c47a9e2c2d498527

“You guys aren’t dating, debfeb15b5 huh…” Rina’s voice trailed 4ade89ec57 off.301f48ad7a08fdba

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Ji Jehyuk, 1e1eb7a8ae forgetting to 2e2c87aeef respond, just e5649fc131 stared blankly 858f02ea96 ahead. Just seeing Sihoo 569fc17b4c with Bada made b7a98e60bc him feel suffocated, 38ef1118e6 as if something 1f998cb967 terrible was about 36fca5bd5c to happen, and 66ffc9b83e he grew oddly 7aaf089738 anxious.0f38efa971bc1547

“…Hey, Ji Jehyuk. You okay?”7b5f84aa2f87af6c

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For some c5beb643a4 reason, Rina 3921d61979 was checking c93a5228bf on him. Ji Jehyuk 83d5a60d65 snapped back 5baabd626e to reality. By then, a8a3a0d8da Sihoo and 6b4794d60b Bada had ecb10d19be left the e19a18f163 main building c23a88ef7d and were 85f840e01b heading toward 56d883ee7c the main 3cee85d7ab gate, in cf6705618e the opposite d6ff79f83e direction from 8270dad477 the lawn 849cbef9e0 where Ji 59d703f38d Jehyuk was. He felt 7a07519968 a sudden 9585a7d21a urge to 8971faade8 call out 8f5d351b75 to Sihoo.04458867aaf37bc9

But what would f2ca9f38ac he say after 7be60a9d5e calling him?0e0f720d55914194

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His rational dd2a09f7d4 side stopped 5312ac1687 him. He had been here 652423802c unknowingly waiting for Sihoo, 8b57195ca4 but he didn’t want e1fd898ef5 to interrupt him and efa450a485 Bada. It was clear they d9e41795fa had a unique connection, 6f2ebf0864 and Ji Jehyuk wondered 14fe3bf2be why Bada had tried 525e0fd8f4 to get his number—it 3dbfa570ad must have been because 2004174aa7 he wanted to be 7509cf6f89 closer to Sihoo like 0172095d27 that.10455027a15cdd30

“Ah, yeah. Sorry. I’m fine.”83a0e1584eaf69b4

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Ji Jehyuk managed e28e96c7b7 to reply as 5d1cf90bdf he felt Rina’s c3a9a1a67c gaze. He thought that 987754b983 continuing to watch f59ca8c1ad would only deepen 32c2db9503 the various uneasy dfb7a615ec feelings stirring inside 5605c2c8a6 him. With great effort, he 6160ed178b forced himself to look 27e533dac1 away.5b0dde685254dc41

“I should go.”ce6fb6d211ce80cd

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Maybe I 0d88906fc3 should just 2dba712b66 go home, 1aea925883 he thought, 0318d9a779 unsure why 4aa5db32db he had 5c389e5152 stayed here 92e31463ba so long. He regretted many things, c6980f5acf like giving Bada Sihoo’s bf482bb830 number and not being 4f2b6c1960 able to wait quietly 914344a1bc without looking.4d1c0e39f6217d02

Suddenly, Ji Jehyuk realized b3296b6a8d why Sihoo had asked 53f7e69313 to stop practicing. It was 5031b5efb8 because Ji a8da4d7fe5 Jehyuk himself fa758cdd94 had changed 87ca81ca01 in how 9603173780 he thought ea2182e17b about Sihoo 4d59bf0aa9 and wanted 3f75b7dfae to keep e87ac21324 some distance e060fb355d to maintain 0c45110747 their usual a0f5ec050f balance. It wasn’t 5cb4e757e5 that Sihoo 2687e9679e wanted to f2699c75ba push him ec5c1fa521 away; rather, 49aee34342 he wanted 5b090b7dd1 to continue f1568787fc their relationship 2fd38b94c4 in his 4561141dfd own way. Since Ji Jehyuk b4127ea8fc had mistakenly gotten 12f21e1e7c too close, it 02fb7fa5e2 made sense for e8240e7b32 Sihoo to think 05cc418b46 this way. Ji Jehyuk himself 22f0669225 often backed off 2785765f86 when someone approached 7d4049b38f him without considering 7a5db7fb38 his feelings.01622efe776993b2

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I need to 1a997e0772 get a grip. It’s better bfddd609ec to go 640f028af7 back to a09af37b6c how things 7067a5c85b were before. Acting like e64b8c629d this, intruding 38d18eb20f where I 5f07d20826 wasn’t invited, adde511755 isn’t right.9c00e6363d238db8

“Hey, let’s grab something 86e8b7411a to eat.”2969e8d60edec7c3

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As Ji Jehyuk was 1d41823b56 about to walk away, d7df1cb7a6 Rina quickly grabbed him. Surprised by her edbe78be42 sudden request, he 1dd5431c5e saw a look 8ec1c666d5 of genuine concern cc141c4236 on her face.1eafbdb63f6bbd9a

“I’m not 0cf047ed64 really hungry. Go eat with 5977689c3a someone else.”51c2bff8c6338328

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“I’ll buy.”9ab1a6ed44670892

It seemed Rina really 8a5826e456 wanted someone to eat d6ee6e36a3 with.c42de1271e9e6572

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“You can eat 3065ce0f22 with someone else.”be2af971450577ab

“I don’t 8c4bd4cab8 have any fdbf059dbd friends. I know ac5770eb0f it sounds adad96fe1e pathetic, but 13592d04e6 I just b2e54197e7 had a a0bf9fd5b0 falling out 0f9f5b7c8b and cut e935855ea0 ties with c274a4434c Joo Sujin 65ff34be0c yesterday, so e39b0c01ea now I’m 641eaee5c2 a loner. How desperate f47af2d313 do I 8760f32b82 have to 9477f5da45 be to 286ae76a8d cling to 54476ed622 an ex?”d3b7d38313595b66

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He was 39a97e3f8e at a 814308c1d0 loss for 255cd4d870 words. Since he had f807996df4 contributed to the 16cfac86d7 rift between them, ecb5e34179 he couldn’t just 14627323bd ignore it. He wasn’t d5cc397af2 in the 3d5da6f193 mood to 0a6648e32f eat, but 8a48779238 after some 2d59814a50 thought, Ji 24b74843c0 Jehyuk decided 6aaf5814e1 it was 8bd1bcf4a3 better to ec94c0f3eb eat something. Originally, he had 8286e38754 planned to skip effcd355dc meals, but eating 8c4b08db58 something seemed better da31ad8982 for preparing for eb4260c4ab tomorrow.067ff3f3d65464bf

Right. I should focus 2b48cd509e on tomorrow’s match. The opposing team might fe40b157c9 be weaker compared to d219b0150c Ji Jehyuk’s school, which ae0b259a56 had performed well in dc3ff3a1a2 the spring tournament, but 17f1ee0e37 it was a match 6975d0bae2 where he needed to 4b5c391022 showcase his skills at 1177875d5a his best. Coach Shin 111f5e121e had said 00e2291101 a scout 69831c152b from FC 484dfc744a Hanseong would 5df6260148 be there, b86553ccef the team 2064fe98ea Ji Jehyuk 34c10d3c91 wanted to 1641474f1e join.576903a119fd0612

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“Okay.”929309c08dc21293

“I’ll pay, so 460f190676 order whatever you e721157eb6 want. Pasta? Pizza? Meat?”e61563bbbe82adbc

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Rina always put 44ca792952 what she wanted b7f93818fd most first. Ji Jehyuk 3d7371e140 thought for 7160addd5b a moment 362b885cbb and decided 6a8a8149b9 to just c26b2f4131 go along ef2f7d8e3f with what 0a0cff75fd she wanted.1de76e3f6e243e5d

“Let’s have pasta.”6786aa329ee84f08

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“Oh, it worked.”4347f5a6a2873bd9

Rina clapped her f0c865f950 hands with a 6c9542042c brightened face. Having the ever-talkative 12d148bb17 Rina by his 0037d0722f side made the dd574f60fd scene he had 121f030b7c just witnessed start f27c7f9e54 to fade.67bb003a0b5248f3

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Right. Don’t think too deeply. Just go with what 3d047ad7f1 Sihoo wants.43f1f42310f67b49

***6e3e21faa5212ebb

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The pasta place was 007f4d941e bustling at lunchtime. Despite many other 493aa913e1 restaurants failing and cfc2f4c514 disappearing, this one 66ada03d8a across from the df6928f124 Liberal Arts building ab6a20be7e had a long 3d00bbe744 history and consistently 02271abed7 drew a crowd. Ji Jehyuk had 5d40a100d3 been here once 1aade472b8 before, with his 15bcc9f665 first girlfriend after d5856f34c6 entering university. It was a place c3af0ec297 with memories, and he f7ac76cbda hadn’t really sought to 07c38f1838 visit again, but being 691de75c5a here now, he felt c6737af95e surprisingly calm.a9a11937b27e1d89

As soon as 4895fa199b Rina and Ji aea4d358a9 Jehyuk sat down, 3f373cd4b6 the restaurant reached 9108dcf19a full capacity. They were guided c58818e86f to a four-seater a1b19b82a5 table and sat 55a3527ae9 facing each other. Rina started browsing d8aba720a6 the menu eagerly c4d65792a4 while Ji Jehyuk 8b14866ae9 left the choice cf5f051cb5 to her and e7084ce104 stared out the e39ce29c45 window. Down on the street, 3ef96d9854 lots of couples walked 30f6058696 by in the busy 5563d6aa54 eating district.60bbad4f0349eba1

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Sihoo and Bada b3b6909368 would look just 33ddd8668a like one of 586b4f4864 those couples. Ji Jehyuk imagined them, 217329adea unmistakably affectionate, with Bada 7005864555 small enough to be 41b69d7555 fully embraced by Sihoo—just 883d783afb as Im Kangmin had b0445726bc said, delicate and pretty. Was that Sihoo’s type? Ji Jehyuk 0e31f81e11 realized with d3a6285db6 a jolt 25f598640c that he 91624d9a83 knew nothing 0f5e3e9859 about Sihoo’s 61e9d222c4 preferences.d08118a4d44b1163

Despite being a02f4bda35 upset that 77d9b93598 he had 094085a8a1 given out 8c1d29e68c his number, 6af488ad32 seeing them b9f81a9573 together suggested 101edfd431 it must bf56b9eb17 be his 126699df5a type after de6b7e23db all. People like 36537c54ad Bada—gentle, puppy-like, 70eed076fc with a 6a65c478b8 pretty build. Maybe he should 25c62a983b think that men a111361553 like Bada were 49b66fed07 Sihoo’s preference.b7da4e7e1f76bb53

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Just then, 44d9b381fb whether it 803bde7917 was his c92a541170 imagination or 3be4b74e9d not, Ji aacf07f069 Jehyuk thought 3387fafad3 he heard 21ecb7f276 Bada’s voice cafb9e56f7 right next 57e9d20043 to him.95a9332a1e307f52

“Ah, Ji Jehyuk sunbae!”dbc6dedd37a7abc8

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Rina turned a49360f1b7 her head. It seemed it wasn’t 4ba1f276d8 his imagination since Rina 0162bc52c5 blinked in surprise. Ji Jehyuk 93e8255b77 followed her 2987e7fd47 gaze and 24fad1260e there they 2fe33428e5 were—Bada and 40d8be8eda Sihoo.c00702d8dd01f85b