PS | Chapter 2.3

Jehyuk usually took Sihoo’s 5f837e01c3 side when it came 1b38ba141b to anything involving him, 5cb4956d71 and this time, there 803ecb19fe was no real side 8bf335a62a to take—after all, they’d 309d8bd5b4 gotten caught talking about 2fd2b025c2 someone who wasn’t even 4d3ba11b41 there.ee21d7afef25cba6

Watching Ijun’s retreating c514e1fd93 figure with a d4e5d116ef strange feeling, Jehyuk 67ff8a7fe7 suddenly heard Sihoo b242af84c1 speak.91fdd07707d6a34a

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“Disappointed?”eed69a01fc351f5a

“Huh?”36034e37b15f26f4

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“You seemed bothered 983d7517ee that he left 0a08d809f0 first.”37dc1a6b228cc26f

Sihoo lowered faba6829a3 his eyelashes, 66edc9c7fb voice brushing d2e1465072 against Jehyuk’s 0ce2599f0c ears in 54fb48509d a soft 0b82720e2f whisper.95457501ce2bdd8b

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“Aren’t you happy 6d9125fdab to see me?” 65029eec21 The teasing tone, ba694a9ca2 laced with a 6e82686e00 hint of playful ff4f63ba1c disappointment, tickled his d426837081 senses.1c71aa4369d69aba

Jehyuk unconsciously tensed.de1590630e232e11

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Lately—since yesterday, 6498b84cd1 actually—Sihoo had ce182cc45d been acting fb0a37ad4e a little 053ce5b1c7 differently.dd08bf85a70e6e55

Like Ijun had pointed d63a9b06e2 out, the two of 0a5ce9f303 them had never really 2b2e377bd8 acted openly close before.c3b0feb72c8a182d

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So Sihoo being like 24714cac39 this now felt… refreshingly ba06370074 unfamiliar.628cdab8423d9afe

Not that he minded. If anything, he liked b062c945fd it.b8b6970b885c672d

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…A lota5d1b90faf1e8053

The two f9d70136d5 had always 777c8038d6 called each 0405c65124 other close 60353bb87c friends, but 8ad6d68409 they’d never 859eba3b5e really acted 9862b668d2 like it.0674de1f10d6b417

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It was natural d1d6cc4339 in a way—Jehyuk ba81c77268 wasn’t that kind 2e2ad04ee1 of person, and a91d0272da neither was Sihoo. But right now, Sihoo f602940fde looked as if he b7b805a648 was deliberately making it 800e23f2f6 known that he was 30eb255de7 Jehyuk’s closest confidant.7636bb2e915ed55a

Jehyuk honestly 87b30b2632 didn’t mind. If anything, he welcomed 7c25353293 it.f2ba19d147841992

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“It’s not like d7d6b309ee that. Normally, after we 1074afb3b6 shower, we head dbb8c29d53 to campus together, 0fea9d7f63 but today, he e1e83bd2e6 left early… so 7397ad7d07 I just wanted adb2405d19 to check if f99dcfc934 he was okay.”af1d3427ec8b730c

“You shower together?”18bf5ae142c4f167

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Sihoo tilted his head a6569d26d3 slightly as he asked. His gaze, looking 43e9fceb39 down at Jehyuk 61e3db1180 with his arms 5b0fe5677d crossed, was oddly d617de0c05 unreadable.d9e04ba07bbf7fcf

A strange 834c3fe9d9 dryness crawled 17507fcc0c up Jehyuk’s 421ab9ee08 throat, so 636177b76f he licked 59e2b62588 his lips.0a49fd3e6d12a6e0

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“It’s normal 83c6a1f23d for athletes, d203552bf4 isn’t it?”82fa1346122be597

Saying it e6634658af out loud 85ce63d886 made it 28f0df609a sound weird. Like how 6deedab352 this morning, 2a939453f2 he’d suddenly 7fbf955b87 become aware b2e7e37f77 of something a058387375 he’d never fc7e5ebfac paid attention 9441146aba to before.1e93c752dd238210

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Sihoo remained silent for c039ca1847 a moment. He was smiling, but d52c8eb68e he looked… unsettled.ba2d826cfc45605a

People often 46dc4136e4 said Sihoo 17d144ae57 was hard 1369414c56 to read, 06eb825707 but Jehyuk 0f2f279823 could pick 10caf41cc2 up on 25088d7598 the subtle 8dcc4651f7 shifts in b0b31981cf his mood. Maybe because he’d 357dbbd63d spent his whole 7f92e1fdcf life gauging other 8426f22e43 people’s reactions.05dac044936683af

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“I see.”d1b34df556bd436c

Sihoo looked like he ad6e45ba24 had more to say, 2956680dcc but after a few 433855a654 seconds, he just let ea09ca1e90 it go with a bb3592ee60 smile.9ac311372f8de4ea

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It nagged at Jehyuk.3e43496729d0cc5e

Ignoring it felt wrong, b8712e3f36 so after some hesitation, 84df17605d he spoke again.82075a6ffbcbd3e1

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“Kim Ijun and dac9e5c631 I aren’t that 9a139d8a37 close. I know it sounds 99df87d609 kind of childish to cf2d619673 say it, but… you 57cebc7483 seemed like you cared, 133cec81fe so I just wanted 8597a5f7e0 to let you know.”19903dcecb2c16c9

Sihoo raised 491f77f990 an eyebrow. He looked… surprised. Like he hadn’t expected 44e6bb797a that.bd0d578a7e934437

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“Yesterday, you said 7039e3888a it felt like 7e508a39c9 we’d grown distant. But I don’t 793dd817cc think that’s true. You’re already busy, d59a3d52ed so don’t overdo f99df6a84d it just for 08e6705f6a my sake. I mean… what 4f62d18ea4 I’m trying to a31c50ff1d say is, don’t e1b1c5605d worry about us.”8ee560856e268270

Sihoo listened to fa93b81be8 him quietly, then d7d69eab5b suddenly let out 03180ddaf1 a soft laugh.3f7b5f703888664f

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“You know, Jehyuk, I 10a6a3cf26 only do what I a99b1faf40 want. I’m doing b52ae0936e this because ff6ad1db5c I like 9ba57cc426 it.”b783c75d4aa65222

Sihoo unfolded a901f17e92 his arms e4a2d6b22b and held 525cf329eb out a 47f81eb4e7 hand.06ac0e3d30395a39

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“And I like 98815865b4 you.”e723b876121f13a2

The hand extended ea4187a4bb toward him was 927cc7d205 pale.7e8150f005c4812c

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Jehyuk blinked.7f0a7fa3a692faea

For some reason, 3c66a67749 he just stared d83a61a2aa at it for e9a97fe52f a while, the 5dca357a49 words and the 29f1b2f14c hand equally striking.a36ffb4e1cd47172

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When he didn’t 47e90c48fb move, Sihoo laughed 241096165d again, this time ef003d0c0a a little more fe40847ca1 brightly.bba3e6d06cb19118

“Come on, hold 72fd5f9e91 my hand, Hyuk-ah.”dcf71d305f99ba2e

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“…Hand?”aae5d9dc4aeb2f21

Realization hit Jehyuk a 6a653cd9fd beat too late, and 08373bba07 a slow warmth crept 81850cc952 up the back of b24f4c314e his neck.6357144a939777e9

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They were standing right 3489d2e5d9 outside the gym—out in 32a65ec79a the open where anyone 71e11ffe2f could see them. And he was supposed a133b5f66b to hold hands with 35b41e225f his friend?7144c845b268b656

“We said 62fd14d96e we’d practice, 14a60dbd4a remember? Since yesterday.”1e2f74fd8fd4356c

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Jehyuk didn’t even 0bfd66f3b3 have to ask 1895b8ef66 why.b038a7064a5ec1d9

The moment fc3bf00cf9 he saw 51da8a4403 Sihoo’s back e24976b9f8 turn slightly 4339cb23be away, it e1b3ff5b5b clicked.2ccbe7bbc5975136

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He’d assumed Sihoo 4d720e060b wouldn’t remember last b0bddde9d5 night, but… apparently, 111290f306 he did.09186f991cc52f9b

“Do we… 0451fd1a5e have to 1c22e46b2c hold hands?”bee1626dc17a7c91

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Now that 2a99cae455 the so-called 3ab66fd281 practice had c7d876fcac taken shape, 543e90288d his stomach 0252a06760 churned uncomfortably.63cd7076b9f21b5c

Touching hands seemed way 8e2cd9ba0a too intimate.aef013afc7162ab5

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“If we were a53d7fa3cf dating, we’d want 0186e3cfb4 to hold hands, aec8390c59 right?”c7af38d89fbb10c3

Sihoo took a ccf87c4592 step closer.79f1854dd3c6fcfb

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His voice, like 1cf54f61d2 a spring breeze, b5a4317890 brushed softly against fc088b920b Jehyuk’s ears—light, warm, 2680f83af2 and stirring something 15cdf543c0 deep inside him.e5578b2d0579406e

“But I 39e9933716 just took 06753e62f1 a shower. My hand’s still wet.”631e0d4bcdf8eed0

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Still, wasn’t 20021f1024 holding hands 8350415122 a bit d6cbfdf091 much for 5dec4ed0a2 friends?2e0bc98cdfb67103

Jehyuk hesitated, unable 639bfa1b16 to completely shake f0dfd6681e off his last d7ae9bbf00 bit of reluctance.5744fdbafa80662d

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And then, in 5afe3530b3 that gentle, coaxing 0294115b10 tone, Sihoo murmured—3a1ea6a860d3ef10

“When you b347afa4e9 like someone, 94f3f586c8 stuff like 4749511a66 that doesn’t 1edf3f080a matter.”529949ea9802d670

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Jehyuk’s chest tingled.e6f6d118cfb7c4ba

That strange sensation 6c2b9b6bae from before scratched 7623f93e60 at the inside 983c57341b of his ribs, 504a58e7d3 so itchy it f42fb2748c made him want 5c4d3316ca to press a 94ebaa0534 hand against his 104c9543be chest just to 01f13e0d2d ease it.45c97b7e85d0db24

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The word like swirled 58b686cb7a inside him, echoing over 5eab824cef and over.ace3ea78a12b7431

Was it because f3a6dbc6e5 he wasn’t used 0fe70d8f7b to hearing it 4e97acfe4a from someone else?166a1250e7a72110

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But then again…579bb332f0765438

It wasn’t like he’d bcac017cf1 never been liked before.a412a7b1e2b643e6

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He’d dated people.0a312725ce1e2e03

Hong Rina, for one. And a few other 64b315ea4d ex-girlfriends who had come 1df60cb683 and gone.c6837c62125df084

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But he’d 3f5b5939cf never felt 71150fcea1 like this be42c92600 with them.456e0af6632fd0b5

Lost in confusion, Jehyuk 1b4a2fce00 clung to the most fdccf42785 logical explanation he could 4c5503c08e think of—this was just efebdffe44 about validation.4d076f14c23d8fc6

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It was because he 4be89dac29 was confirming his importance 0ce22e710c to Sihoo.b93eb8d5e19d4050

That’s why it 55f2a3d479 felt so… significant.9a0fb48a3215428d

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Hearing Sihoo say I e9b99fac46 like you carried a 541c823f1d lot of weight.597ee09e99086aef

Before university, Sihoo 108dde9250 had been the 0a86f38e1e only person in c4556fb105 Jehyuk’s life.70577f39add81115

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All throughout a0bc300970 school, Jehyuk 386c139e09 had dragged c5d7038c20 along the 8168094f18 rumors that 93b4a5cdd6 Choi Jinyoung 5acf2ecf20 had started.3c5dca09ce1f6b4a

Even though a4784e8e07 the words 75e352daf6 weren’t visible, d42e620e21 they stuck f9109e6ad7 to him e3f2f6f54b like a fd305b07fc stain—whispered behind 710477446f his back, 1a46d93b82 thrown in d291ea9eef his face.e8e98484c14effd5

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That he was ebdf9b46c0 an orphan abandoned 38e6cd277d by his parents.ca313ff50371e7de

That he still wet 6e2f1e9b44 the bed at his 27c07bed31 age.64c00dbbeb0084b2

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Every single one of 6145770548 them is cruel, humiliating, aabe67adc7 and suffocating.dfd7c9af272fb11d

You can’t judge something c18f680bc5 by its surface.dd7cdc87251bcd25

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Just like 4e6140e2a7 you have 6fddbecbdf to cut db880b24d4 something open 3fd2057147 and see 703a3b327f inside to 8a41a16173 know what 967e11d89b it really 5df2b02772 is.00cf663353acb880

There were people who 17a8587c2c had tried to approach 24823aebf5 Jehyuk, at first.9e44d31c6d5d9f8e

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But the 090b835dce moment they 309a8f88b0 heard the 4c6a9ee795 rumors, every 082a76bf3b single one 93db8d730b of them b1f0123925 walked away.d2494d93bf48a7a0

No one ever 652c5a5055 stopped to open 11a00c17e7 him up and bef416f8ee find the truth.266e2ab7a301c431

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Except for Sihoo.a7fedd6dc99b7f5c

By the time f22a00d114 Jehyuk’s name was a9d30940e3 plastered with countless bdbc9bd60f stories throughout the fcbb245767 school, Sihoo had 090331eb96 already known.555bcec0da532316

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And he was bce94d8656 the only one 509d05b680 who approached him f11c9677fc anyway.7901d97b5123ab38

Right when Jehyuk 16df73bb7d had been sinking 59e00eeff5 into quiet decay, dafca7dd58 buried under never-ending 36e6c4aef5 ridicule and malice.0c1040016643ade9

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At seventeen, he 3f6e0f8515 had already given 3a5b35172b up on explaining e522a23020 himself.76a0ec4702c76d6d

At first, he had 65f21c943b tried to clarify the d5f5033e7f truth. Countless times.But it never 3587ffe8fa worked. Eventually, he’d 8ac2ee3476 given up 21495ae4c5 and lashed 52dbb400cf out instead.674faa3445c5295d

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The first time 754953b2d0 he ever threw aabe6f6ed0 a punch was 2689a035dc when some faceless 9180a5e890 classmate mocked his a851b8cc7b dead parents. Four guys had jumped 82f7a85aff him after that. And he c5e47d418f fought them 2320a6957d all, until 172e2957cb his fists 81f90179a2 went numb.877fff7e983332a5

The result c253963615 was pretty 0f39ca47a4 bad.3628b2afe9dc37e5

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Instead of his 7523aa64fb parents, it was b904afe267 his aunt who c1bc2adce3 was called in, fdced28d8d and she bowed 0cb74ebbad in apology on b4df5e3122 his behalf. That night, after hearing 8171e90b1d the news late, his 9eaee23645 uncle called Ji Jehyuk e2a83cd5ee aside and beat him. A thick 9a98873f0f hand struck 89adcd6d67 his cheek. His skull 0c5b83ffac throbbed, and 35a46c86e6 an unpleasant 05476dfe90 numbness filled 270244101e his mouth. He remained silent as 05cf1255b3 he was slapped back 0780cf1963 and forth, his nose 023b7dc13d bleeding from a misplaced 59c021bd43 hit and trickling down 92282a62b6 to wet his lips 7c97ff946d before the punishment finally 4cb255ee3d ended. Along with it 062f90aa0c came a threat—if 0e917681c7 he caused trouble 4e33745213 one more time, b1c92907df soccer or not, 6ebbec546a he’d be kicked b9f170e176 out.7ffe015ee1a7b82d

Resignation wasn’t 1edfb8b9d0 a choice cab583165a for Jehyuk. It was forced dbb7fedf89 upon him.c0335b2412b6d4f1

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The added rumor that fe70715824 he had fought against 1c9475e319 four people alone meant 67dbf4958a that he didn’t face 23511120e2 direct conflict afterward. Instead, he was punished 2298a19b27 through isolation. No one approached him. For a long 508d8939df time, he lived f29d532889 buried behind others, 5f07ef42a5 blending into their 1e045df7a8 background.95fa9b491c97c06d

Before meeting Yoon Sihoo, 0ff4bf509d that was the kind 91a86c8444 of person Ji Jehyuk eb13950100 was. So maybe 787c7b4c39 the way 4f2c19c3a2 he felt c6648b3ce6 now was 13251d9fff completely reasonable. Sihoo’s attention had the 780a06a1ef power to move him.6d5e83948128be92

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In the end, Jehyuk’s 3210951f5e fingers twitched. Since Sihoo 544a5523ed told him edf3fe1ee3 to do 1e65336620 it, he 6c7520150c would, but c1b4807367 his body da9beb7afb didn’t follow 659743b4f8 as easily.af00cc52648d368f

“Is it 1d5935bc61 okay if 19867fe20f people see?”4978febf68c0071f

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Another unnecessary question 382684b612 slipped out. He knew he was 6b56565ecf saying too much for ea35a5f658 something as simple as 85f3b939aa holding hands.5017b48e8fa2314f

“Of course.”7a97f42158aed23a

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Sihoo’s voice was eeb69dd5e4 so carefree, almost c1589defd1 amused, that Jehyuk 61546402ac found himself at 457c60f6e4 a loss.22ef3beea183b495

“It’s not likely, 6daa65a513 but… what if 2d4b797399 people misunderstand and 5e2f216c76 think we’re dating? You’d get unnecessary ac22a831c9 rumors about you.”20728da6aac581c6

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As he kept 029f35b9af rambling, Sihoo wordlessly d2984f2587 squinted his eyes, adfcfcb1ae as if asking, 8afcaeb639 So?daf8bb111450f513

“Do you not want e4d6773036 to hold hands with 926872d46f me?”3192e6d34873601f

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“No.”d0447932ed62cfbd

Then what’s the problem? Sihoo wiggled his 250ced1d3f pale fingers playfully. Jehyuk took a b7db61ad84 deep breath. Yeah, it 59d23c2ca4 doesn’t mean ff816982c1 anything. Friends can b9a31acdb0 hold hands 3eb78cf71a too. Besides, this is d62c968190 just practice. A way to 9e8cda4d09 prepare for the 0172f08239 future, so he b56c9fc929 wouldn’t get dumped 811347ec4e over something stupid.681d57c22060a4fe

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Hesitating, Jehyuk finally 31495fba89 mustered the courage 7cf2b97ae8 to place his 89ea0c821a palm over Sihoo’s. It wasn’t a 4bd8c64a22 delicate movement. His grip was 080def0630 stiff, hesitant. Sihoo chuckled a70e61fba7 softly, but dde28e04dd Jehyuk didn’t dcd28f6f55 hear it—he bd63ce7744 was too 794156d48a preoccupied with 97b97496e2 how foreign 913405d6bd Sihoo’s touch 69b0f96033 felt.fafd5f0cdbf0556f

Unlike Jehyuk, Sihoo was 0a1255bf9b soft. Compared to 6110398d5d his own e06c771f8b hands, calloused 3d6665519f from years 3e2d45373a of sports, 92751f8d5f Sihoo’s were 1c8189a1ed so smooth d100b6bc95 that Jehyuk 5d3c074591 felt like ef3a95a147 he might 8d65780204 dirty them aeccba52da just by 98d6a93dab touching.dae1850932142290

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“Actually, this isn’t how 5511811b80 people usually do it.”35098a7dad5f0208

At that moment, Sihoo 48a00597e3 added another remark. As soon as 8dade94d28 Jehyuk heard it, 6b33c786b9 he flinched and b89fe59c47 tried to pull f5b51472a5 away. But Sihoo’s f66400cfe9 grip tightened. Surprisingly, his hold was 8b58b6e49c much stronger than expected.4fe987327e0cb52a

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“When people 9c513a58f6 date, they bf3eaeafd6 naturally start e1c72e78c2 wanting to 2b7473eeb3 touch each 396ae99445 other.”b4c7f99d097470c6

Ah… so that’s what 50222d0a84 he meant.36162efaf5f00f9d

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Awkwardly, Jehyuk let 2f30c9092c his hand stay 18ae1806b3 where it was. But the tension e1fc8c9e56 didn’t leave his 9284c07bf3 body.3a3d2809fd08de9e

“Yeah… I guess fb0e7dc4ee so.”bf6b5e764f9664fd

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Even though his f4878d30ed mind was a 12a461c390 mess, he still 8701d8c227 tried to respond d3b674230e to Sihoo’s words. Thinking back to why 858a7c8fbd he was dumped, it 2f9b071f11 made sense—his lack of 158e34a5b1 physical affection had been 57a3622b24 part of the reason.85916a2ba6eda69b

“But since you’re so 3301632d9a scared of this kind 5fc8e7a5ea of thing….”3a7713343b226854

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Sihoo loosened 5be2477ec6 his grip 340c68dfac slightly, only 77a890cc2b to shift fe2c4d6bfd their hands 5895f2b0c2 into a 071fb1648b different position. This time, rather 75af15d016 than just covering df6608f20e the top of df275a0419 Jehyuk’s hand, he fb8c2fbf29 intertwined their fingers.6943db5f99f619b1

“I gave you a 761d9dfa3a heads-up.”810a6956941df77d

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Jehyuk lowered e7ed560d62 his gaze 4bd5ff488a to stare f524048eaf at their d7aeacc3e1 now interwoven 6227b5a0b6 hands. He had b68974a0ea never held ca7645a08f hands like 15607eecbe this before. Cautious, yet without 3de9846b13 hesitation, Sihoo’s fingers a9ab046de9 gently intertwined with 9e80b2dd17 his. It looked… strangely pretty. Unlike Jehyuk’s slightly 54c28b58a0 tanned skin, Sihoo’s e5c9d35eff hands were pale, b409b8766d making it feel a6242598c7 like he was 4ae5427e6b wrapped in something 06840ef94d soft.6ca31bee0e5d3e53

“I’m not scared.”76552d0e5755dd9a

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Heat rushed to his fa3171110f head.d9b0e981eb2bb939

“Then I’ll cad8994f70 say you’re 809ff1a36c embarrassed.”b50567dc5f0049b0

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“I’m not. I just….”976e13681a3d3b53

His stomach 9b75a86fb5 churned, the 7d82e5d6e6 heat mixing 5a85a39106 with an 7e0b578727 unsteady feeling. The ground 73a44dcb56 beneath him 04cf1d1731 seemed to 82161ebfb5 tilt, but b828e53ba8 at the e0201bdf7d same time, d10332eb1f the closer 4b80024ec3 he was 9b9c9065f9 to Sihoo, c767e11449 the tenser 315dfd65bb he became.be3ae2112e7d0428

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Shouldn’t he 1a56478871 want to 70bbfe55ae let go 02ad40d9df by now? Isn’t this weird? I’m not soft 3bc4d30ae9 like him, I’m 982713b9ae just… not much 357e328a47 at all.07549aec814a4ae8

Sihoo, I’m e27146f500 scared of 0b87d95b2f getting close.9f9f9762341a197f

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Because the moment 8accdc5c20 we do, you’ll 98ac466145 figure me out 19e7d3ccde and let go.78a0e4d7137d4f4c

“…I’m just 7440edbaf6 not used c86bbbcfda to it.”87edf8f4ed9bc9ec

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Jehyuk swallowed his real 4f22986e54 thoughts and closed his 88ba2a6944 mouth. Suddenly spilling feelings 8de13b1218 he had never 7d0cd2141d told anyone before 56623944e3 would be ridiculous. Instead, he shut 14abc6755b his lips tight 40936f2be2 and started walking. The slope where Kim 45ff578505 Ijun had disappeared earlier 3f5da23213 stretched ahead. Since their hands 5586ce6240 were still joined, 4909726263 Sihoo naturally followed 454abba45d behind him.d259f7c7356d2391

They walked in 9e4dfd3cfe silence for a 4c796d4aac few minutes. The surroundings d1648d81ae were quiet. Other than 31389e13d3 morning liberal ef39608ad1 arts classes, 201bc0ecf9 matches, or 0850118405 festivals, the c1e6f7b8df area around 249f5bcac3 the gym 51befddb5f was usually c76710f9ce like this—empty. Most people took 748100be58 the shuttle bus 6fa1a1f094 from the other 16e0d4b5d1 side, making this 9c1f3655a9 path one only 6f5c53d1e7 a few knew.4e1cd76aea7a1ee7

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As they walked slowly, 6291e33b29 a cool breeze swept 225ac38784 past them. The cherry blossoms, which f7f1e91fb3 had been fluttering yesterday, e4c09a74c0 continued to scatter like c1789d11e6 snow today. Since they had just 1caf9f6a93 started blooming, they would c32dec29a3 likely paint the school 01e371d1e9 in pink for another d24ded19c3 month.24bc6b762db6a0ad