PM CHAPTER 3.3

Han I-rok stood at one corner of the stage, holding a crystal plaque, waiting. His job was to hand over the plaques when the slightly potbellied man standing at the podium microphone called out names.

The event turned out to be larger than Do-won had expected, with broadcast cameras and reporters present, seated in the audience.

A solemn and serious atmosphere filled the room. Aside from the occasional click of camera shutters, only small whispers could be heard. While everyone focused on the stage, Do-won seemed to be the only one lost in his own thoughts.

Assigned to distribute pamphlets and name tags at the entrance, Do-won now stood unnoticed in a corner, his eyes fixed solely on the stage—or more precisely, on Han I-rok. It was an unconscious action.

‘With the stage lighting on him like that, he really…’

He looked handsome.

Leaning against the wall with his arms crossed in a nonchalant posture, Do-won recalled what had happened before the event.

Earlier, despite being doused in milk, Han I-rok reappeared looking impeccably neat, with barely any change in expression. His hair was slightly damp, but his face and uniform, which had been splattered with milk, were spotless and perfectly in place.

Half relieved that everything had been cleaned up, half feeling an inexplicable unease, Do-won kept glancing at him even while eating his lunchbox, as if sitting on pins and needles.

I-rok had casually towel-dried his damp hair and then raked his fingers through it before giving out instructions to the members. After eating, they were to gather in the hall—the executive committee would handle the stage protocol, and the general members would assist guests. His voice, too, was as composed as ever.

Though the other members hesitated and warily observed I-rok at first, his usual stern and composed demeanor remained unchanged, even in this situation. Thanks to that, the tense atmosphere soon eased.

When Do-won mumbled an apology, I-rok simply responded with an indifferent “It’s fine,” as if nothing had happened. And with that, the suspicions about Do-won having thrown the milk seemed to settle down.

But in that brief moment when their eyes met, Do-won felt it again—the look that said, “I’m letting it slide this time.”

Every time Do-won caused trouble, I-rok would always give him that same silent stare. But… having been let off the hook so many times, Do-won couldn’t help but develop some immunity to it.

‘Who told him to let me off?’

Even under Han I-rok’s exasperated gaze, rather than feeling nervous, Do-won found himself staring blankly at that handsome face. Blaming everything on him with giddy enthusiasm, he ended up unintentionally sending an intense gaze his way.

‘Shouldn’t he be the one receiving that award?’

Environmental Conservation Award. Han I-rok. This individual has contributed to the purification of both students’ eyesight and the campus environment…

Do-won abandoned the ridiculous thought before it could go any further.

He was already aware that Han I-rok was objectively good-looking, but the feeling that had surfaced when he licked the milk earlier was… different. It wasn’t just that he was handsome.

‘He looks… hot.’

‘…Can you not?’

Yeah, sexy.

Sexy Han I-rok was now taking over Dowon’s mind, even trying to censor his own thoughts.

Baek Do-won had realized his sexual orientation around the time he became a middle schooler—probably when he was the same age as his twin younger siblings now.

Unlike his clueless elementary school days, middle school was when many of his friends started to notice the opposite sex. They would share risqué videos, flirt with the girls in their class, and sometimes even start dating. Do-won, watching his classmates walk down the hallways hand in hand, remained indifferent.

He had no desire to date anyone, no interest in physical affection, and not even much curiosity about explicit content. Back then, Do-won thought of himself as simply more mature than his peers.

Born into an ordinary family that wasn’t particularly wealthy, with much younger twin siblings who arrived late in his parents’ lives, he felt a strong responsibility to help raise them. His plan was clear—study hard, get into a prestigious high school and university, and secure a good job as quickly as possible. That was the ideal path.

But as a human being, it wasn’t like he had no desires at all. When his body felt restless, he would release energy by running onto the soccer field.

Ironically, that was where his desires ended up manifesting.

He found himself secretly harboring feelings for a boy from another class, a teammate he played soccer with.

At first, he chalked it up to admiration—after all, the guy was tall, fair-skinned, and universally well-liked by both boys and girls. It made sense to look up to him.

But then, he started wanting to spend more time with him. He started wanting physical closeness, something he had never thought about before.

And then, one day, the guy appeared in his dreams.

And he woke up with damp underwear.

Did he… like boys?

Just as that question surfaced, the guy conveniently transferred to another school. And with that, his feelings naturally faded.

After that, only men caught his eye.

Fortunately, Do-won had always been a practical person. He wasn’t the type to get swept away by emotions, and he was well aware of how homosexuality was perceived in South Korea.

So rather than actively pursuing anyone, he simply focused on being careful. Over and over again.

‘Damn it, you were the one who acted dirty first!’

Do-won was jolted out of his thoughts as if a knife had been driven into his solar plexus at the sudden memory of someone shouting.

“Ah… that’s unpleasant.”

He shook his head and muttered under his breath, barely louder than a sigh.

It had been almost six years. He had buried it deep in his memory and lived without thinking about it, but suddenly, without warning, it had resurfaced. And the emotions from back then—completely unfiltered—came rushing back just as vividly.

A chill ran down his spine, and his heart pounded violently. His mouth felt dry, as if sand was rolling around inside.

Because of that incident, he had sworn to himself that he would never love anyone for the rest of his life.

Feeling like he couldn’t breathe, he patted his chest lightly.

“What’s wrong?”

“Huh?”

A deep voice snapped him back to reality.

When he looked up, Han I-rok was standing right in front of him—so close that Do-won hadn’t even noticed when he had approached.

“Did you get indigestion?”

I-rok asked in a blunt tone, showing no particular concern.

Do-won just shook his head.

Strangely enough, just looking at that handsome face made the tightness in his chest disappear completely.

Unbelievable. My body is ridiculous…

“No. What… what should I be doing?”

“The ceremony’s over. Time to clean up.”

“Oh.”

Only then did his vision clear, and he took in his surroundings.

At some point, while he had been lost in thought, the ceremony had ended, the lights had come on, and people were slowly getting up from their seats.

“Pay attention. If you’re trying to run away, that’s going to be a problem.”

“I’m not! I just got lost in thought for a moment.”

“What were you thinking about?”

“Like… what if an armed terrorist suddenly burst into this hall and took that potbellied man hostage? How would I safely rescue him and escape?”

“……”

“I was getting really detailed about it, too. Listen—first, I’d push over the podium to knock him down, then I’d grab the gun—”

“……”

I-rok pressed his lips together, looking as if he was barely restraining himself from saying Why the hell would you even think about something like that?

For a split second, Do-won’s mind superimposed the image of Irok’s lips from earlier, still speckled with milk.

“Ugh.”

“Watch yourself.”

I-rok reached out and lightly tugged Do-won’s tie, adjusting it properly.

Do-won clicked his tongue in annoyance and stomped his foot, but I-rok simply straightened his tie, then walked past him without another word.

Do-won stood there for a moment, staring at I-rok’s retreating figure.

Crazy bastard.

That uniform looks insanely good on him.

The epaulettes on his broad shoulders gleamed under the light, adorned with silver buttons that caught every movement.

The way the fitted uniform hugged his thick torso cast shifting shadows over the contours of his muscles.

Even the white gloves he wore for the award ceremony completed the look perfectly.

And then there was his height—easily over 190 cm—paired with a body proportioned so flawlessly it was almost unreal.

Not to mention the absurdly good-looking face to match.

…I can think he’s good-looking, right?

Who said I liked him? Who said I was begging to date him?

Do-won questioned himself, as if arguing with his own thoughts.

Even if his past self had decided to shut away romantic feelings for the rest of his life, that didn’t mean he couldn’t acknowledge when someone was handsome. It wasn’t like he was doing anything inappropriate—just recognizing good looks for what they were wasn’t a crime.

Especially when it came to Han I-rok, whose handsomeness was so widely acknowledged that people both in school and online practically worshipped him for it. Sure, it was a little annoying, but Do-won was just another person agreeing with the general consensus. It wasn’t like he planned on doing anything about it.

Just think of it as a feast for the eyes.

Trying to keep things light, Do-won forced himself to act unaffected.

“Should I return my name tag here?”

“Oh, yes. Please hand it over.”

He held the door open for those leaving and collected their name tags. The rush of tasks came flooding in once again.

“Do-won oppa, can you help out over there?”

“Yeah.”

Do-won had been organizing the collected name tags and leftover pamphlets, but at the sudden call from a fellow organizer, he changed direction.

There was a pile of things that needed to be cleaned up—projectors, various cables, large flags along with their stands. The event staff were still gathered below the stage, likely handling some final business.

Weaving through the crowd, Do-won carried stacks of items, took out the trash, and tried to get everything in order. He had thought cleanup would be quick, but it turned out to be more hectic than expected.

As he was pushing a large box to the back of the venue, he happened to spot Han I-rok standing below the stage.

Hands clasped behind his back, I-rok was attentively listening to a faculty member, nodding occasionally.

Do-won hadn’t meant to stare for long, but apparently, his gaze had been too intense—because I-rok suddenly glanced sideways and met his eyes.

“Ugh—”

Startled, Do-won nearly lost his footing but quickly steadied himself.

His face burned with embarrassment.

And, of course, I-rok only shook his head slightly before turning back to his conversation.

Ugh, how humiliating…

“Hey! Can you fold these up and move them to the waiting room?”

“Got it!”

At the call, Do-won shoved the last box into place and made his way down the stairs.

The task was simple: fold and move the tripods stacked in the corner.

He pulled in their long legs and collapsed them neatly, stacking three or four against his side to carry. Just as he was about to move them—

“Oh! Sorry!”

Someone came rushing from the opposite direction and crashed into Do-won before quickly running off.

“…Haah.”

Do-won let out a deep sigh.

Do-won, having lost his grip on the tripods from the impact, let out a deep sigh and crouched down. At least I didn’t stub my foot. He tried to think positively as he reached down to pick them up again.

But just then, he heard a creaking sound behind him, a strange sense of unease creeping in.

Before he could even turn around, a body suddenly wedged itself into the space behind him.

Crash!

A loud, shattering noise erupted in the next instant.

“…….”

Still seated on the floor, Do-won blankly stared at Han I-rok, who had wrapped himself around him. Behind I-rok, the tall-standing stage light had completely collapsed, shattered to pieces.

“…Uh….”

It had all happened in a split second.

Do-won’s eyes darted around, unable to focus on any one thing, his mind struggling to process the situation.

I-rok was on top of him.

People were rushing toward them, murmuring in concern.

And then—

“…Haa…”

A low groan reached Do-won’s ear, followed by a warm, breathy sigh that tickled his skin.

That was when he finally snapped back to reality, hurriedly grabbing I-rok by the shoulders.

“Hey, hey… Han I-rok. You….”

“Don’t move yet.”

Ir-ok’s firm tone froze Do-won in place.

It was only after several people helped lift the fallen stage light that I-rok was finally able to move.

Slowly straightening his back, he locked eyes with Do-won.

His furrowed brows and sharp, striking gaze left Do-won paralyzed, unable to ask if he was okay or say anything else.

“Are you students alright?”

The event staff asked the question Do-won should have.

I-rok simply gave a short, “Yes.”

He rolled his shoulders a few times as if shaking off the impact. Behind him, shards of glass and broken equipment clattered to the floor.

Then, as if deciding he needed to take off his jacket, he moved his hands to undo the buttons.

But the moment he tried to pull his arm free, his body stiffened, and his brows knit together in pain.

“Ugh….”

It seemed he had injured his back.

Do-won’s eyes widened in alarm.

“Oh, what do we do…?”

“…….”

Panicking, Do-won shot to his feet, his voice trailing off in a helpless whine.

He frantically examined I-rok, reaching for his jacket to pull it off and check his back. But before he could, I-rok lightly pushed him away.

“Don’t touch me.”

“Should I not? Huh?”

“Don’t make a fuss.”

“How can I not make a fuss?!”

As Do-won’s voice wavered, I-rok suddenly reached out and gently grasped his chin, tilting his face from side to side as if checking for injuries.

Then, his sharp eyes scanned Do-won’s upper body.

Just as Do-won was about to approach I-rok again to check on him, a staff member grabbed I-rok’s arm first.

I-rok pushed Do-won away and accepted the staff member’s support as he stood up.

Tilting his head from side to side, he tested his body’s condition. His face remained tense, showing no signs of relief—he was clearly stiff and uncomfortable.

“Student, let’s get you to the hospital first.”

The staff member seemed momentarily surprised by the student’s height, realizing that I-rok was a good two or three inches taller than him. Nevertheless, he proceeded to guide him forward. The crowd that had gathered naturally parted to make way.

“I-I’ll come too….”

Do-won, restless and unsure, hastily got up to follow. But before he could even finish his sentence, I-rok turned back to look at him.

“Finish up.”

His voice was chillingly firm.

“Properly.”

“…….”

Without another word, I-rok left.

His voice was colder than ever, freezing Do-won in place. Even though his mind screamed at him to follow, his feet wouldn’t budge as if they were nailed to the floor.

What the hell just happened?

The people who had been murmuring about the minor accident soon dispersed one by one.

Standing awkwardly in the middle of it all, Do-won could only watch as Irok disappeared from sight.

——————

Han Irok, are you okay? 1

Are you badly hurt? What did the hospital say? 1

Should I come to the hospital now? 1

Did you go back home? Should I go to your place? 1

The ‘1’ next to each message hadn’t disappeared.

Having finished cleaning up, Do-won returned to the clubroom, where the other members were busy chatting and changing clothes, their energy still lively. But he couldn’t bring himself to join in.

Sitting right next to the seat I-rok always occupied, he nervously chewed on his nails.

He couldn’t put his phone down. He kept reopening the chat window, checking over and over to see if I-rok had replied.

Why did he have to step in like that…?

The memory of I-rok wincing in pain, his low groans of discomfort, kept replaying in Do-won’s head.

If he wanted to make me feel guilty, he sure succeeded.

Ruffling his hair in frustration, Do-won let out a deep sigh.

I feel so damn sorry.