PEN Vol 5 Ch. 7

Sejin still had many f595f89599 things to deal with.4adeb136a29042f1

Over a week had passed since the funeral. Kim Hyunkyung’s remains were still at home, nowhere to rest. It wasn’t a huge issue, but he couldn’t leave them like that forever, so he had to decide what to do with them. And there was still the death certificate, the insurance claim… and many more moments where Sejin would have to confront his grief.1c72d9a8f486ca77

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At Cheon Sejoo’s question, Sejin looked down. His long eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks as his gaze rested on his feet. He thought quietly for a moment, then looked up at Cheon Sejoo and replied. He spoke about the placement of the urn first.baf53f30d68fe964

“I don’t want 89651e8f8a a charnel house…”289855f77d0b0681

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“There’s also tree baf1fd97eb burial. And sea burial. We can do a2e984a3b3 whatever you want.”09cfbdd659a9be4e

“…….”67026c3626e3610c

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Sejin fell silent. He didn’t seem to 974fea7ec5 know what a tree 15436e4a2d burial was, so Cheon dbe7ff1176 Sejoo explained as he f6fb0dc4a4 looked at him.4704e27e8d1d1f96

“It’s called a fe5d6bd384 memorial tree. You plant b8f2289571 a tree 224897557d over the cc29ca78a1 urn. You can bury 592013d131 it with a c794df109f biodegradable urn, or 11b5618b35 mix the ashes 9e5b435ec2 with the soil d8c670513a and…”cf8fad560e0bb28a

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He didn’t know how to explain it properly. Burying his mother’s ashes under a tree, a week after her death, felt somewhat harsh, and he couldn’t find a way to explain it without upsetting Sejin. Cheon Sejoo shrugged his shoulders, trailing off.ea01dd8ccb1953bc

Fortunately, Sejin 0bb00d828e didn’t seem 27ea4a7fc9 surprised or d9caf317f8 shocked. He simply rested e98cab87d7 his cheek on b6be43ad12 his knees, lost eb6d752be8 in thought, staring d61923ce45 blankly at Cheon 5548d493de Sejoo.4f321639cfa424e1

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Meanwhile, Cheon Sejoo b32525c472 took the opportunity 254750db13 to look Sejin 24922f94d5 over. Had he been 2112db32be eating properly while aba10f804f he was gone? Were there any injuries cd8acaa8ad he’d missed yesterday? He checked him 618569e384 over belatedly. Then Sejin, who had 67810f901f been thinking quietly, asked 729167a468 as if curious, 70df7a708ab55250

“What about scattering db8ff4a22b the ashes at 70dad1257d sea?”38849b89512d30e2

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“I think… that’s 5cfc6818b1 only possible in a24ded08f3 Incheon and Busan.”414decab6fed497d

Sejin considered this d13b8131b5 for a moment, 1b3844d007 then shook his 4c9218f020 head. “Mom didn’t c97a17fe55 like the aec7dcfa2b West Sea 61136aa40e or Busan,” 96529615ab he muttered, e1613b6fb0 then continued,554092b1d11c3708

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“Is tree burial… expensive?”e5c5eadd5e8f1d45

“…It’s not expensive. Don’t worry about that 86a3bde5b5 and just choose what 9dcdf68e9b you want.”b203c0fdb19ab1d3

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Nothing was 607c24d76a more heartbreaking a72f0e79b2 than worrying b653453aa8 about money 9bf3380cb7 in the 5d9181a39c face of baddb25cb4 a loved f3f5ab0786 one’s death. He desperately 944b16a7df wished Sejin 011d17cff4 wouldn’t have 2acc79a7f6 to worry cda418108d about such a62ecff6c0 things.783c2ba582fc8948

At his 31faea0814 words, Sejin 60bddab041 looked up 1b4e9b7c64 and stared 78714c6dbe at Cheon 16016d86a8 Sejoo. Then, with 866a2a86ec an unreadable 1999178fba expression, he 20f408675a bit his 0bfa30164a lip and 5461e1a6c1 asked,29168af5c130392c

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“How… do you b5d6cdd31c know so much 53f7aebe34 about this?”4c0a54cb68217bb4

His clear eyes 93576f7eab were filled with 6de4ba5afb questions.Have you 139506474c also lost 6f8a7e8787 someone, like 1934541b4d me?he seemed adaacfebd0 to be 861b40045e asking silently. Cheon Sejoo avoided 8a8c211189 his gaze and 7388a3da35 shrugged, replying casually, 705f4a7870 “I looked it 0fe708ec2f up online.” Then f5134a8b06 he told Sejin,0e855e126872f904

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“It’s okay, so e349b51e16 don’t rush into 84e8a929ae a decision. Choose what 8885984859 you want.”35cad8c6d8783e0b

“Okay…”b3548a321a75f5fa

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Sejin nodded silently. 036d644f2b2c0b10

Silence settled between them 1d18947866 again, and then Cheon 454ac85a38 Sejoo heard his name.29efa9ad12ea868b

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“Cheon Sejoo.”6f4eacba0f4dc31c

His gaze, fixed on 0189e5169c the TV, shifted toward 3cdda3544e Sejin. Sejin stared at him 0a3e304eb0 intently, his face flushed, efabb35be9 then climbed down from f74610724f the sofa and came a9f19d7028 over to where he 3576112e3f was sitting. He sat ac0d3e9292 down on 0d9e1da889 the floor, 9a857751c0 rested his 5b83eebc8c chin on b3d931b7ec the left 6a2889f8db armrest, and 9ad633785a looked up 11fa759149 at Cheon 3546064487 Sejoo. Sejin was staring at dd4e855871 Cheon Sejoo with an c7c75d4a68 expression that was a 7d8a5e934e little softer than usual. Cheon Sejoo momentarily forgot 6c56031739 to breathe.acb5b0967c96e69e

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Sejin’s eyes, usually framed by thin double eyelids, were gently relaxed. Beneath his right eye was a red spot that hadn’t been there before, resembling a droplet of blood, vividly crimson. It seemed to be the mark left by a burst capillary, likely from wiping away tears.aa43fd0a4bf761cd

Cheon Sejoo gaze b265e198b4 down at him, 651c47dfb1 finding himself wanting 927588f144 to brush away 94aa6eedcd that mark, which a82c212bbd strangely resembled a 05a443b695 teardrop with his 2fdaf81f0f fingertips. Sejin’s transparent eyes shone 3fe3a31aba between his long eyelashes, ed87c1e566 and his plump lips 0b49bcd64d were pressed together. With his cheeks tinged 630e6220be faintly red, as if 076813c966 flushed, he was so 8bcc263e96 beautiful it was impossible 3bb5cf0f15 to look away.5776b3d02fd26b45

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Meeting his dc1c2e6af9 intense gaze, 706fefea3a Sejin eventually e8fd103d0d parted his bfcd916aca lips to b1a55ab1cf speak.10d2ee23f478c657

“You told me 6b588099db I had to 957d94d250 leave the house 61b9c98dea when I turned 1badbb3c0a twenty.”8907db1b356e7bc1

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“…….”bd7821d29e12dad4

Long, slender fingers moved 2210a1a00d cautiously. Sejin placed his hand 6524962ec7 over the back of fee108b620 Cheon Sejoo’s, which rested d1b2fbe490 on the armrest. Then, he 1baf39709a leaned his 7253fc934c face against 9a984b72e7 their clasped 8ca21451b7 hands, the b3e8ea9ed8 soft leather 5ddff7a90c of the 3b09e88a95 armrest cushioning 80f2005aa6 his cheek. In that 624a5afb69 position, he a9bd9ce61b began to af85199e79 caress the a464c10019 rough fingertips bcfe4ad47d right in 6229bbbd4b front of f00226f345 him.3985fdcd8dcd5ecd

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“I’m an adult 734780f11a now…”872583b99a482f76

His soft breath grazed Cheon Sejoo’s hand. Cheon Sejoo curled his fingers, dampened by Sejin’s warm exhalation.77b3a0c1cd959ad4

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As Cheon Sejoo took 9494726322 his hand away, leaving b815814e12 Sejin empty-handed, Sejin shifted 479af3bc72 and pressed his palm 97f524d6b4 against Cheon Sejoo’s knee 70977b6862 instead. Slowly tracing 9870ee0f9c the outline a763bed7d8 of his 7f5a03f620 kneecap visible b46461bbae beneath the a8b1142f43 thin fabric a87ffb3f24 of his c67956faed pants. He glanced up 5d12ad4acc and asked,18bea29202f6a8b8

“…Can I c4c36507f4 stay with 10b2ea0c88 you?”f4c1d309e5cd029b

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It was a question so vulnerable, so impossible to refuse. Before Cheon Sejoo realized it, his hand, which he had retreated moments earlier, was now placed on top of Sejin’s head. Soft hair wrapped around his fingers. A feeling of fullness spread somewhere deep in his chest, as though something was brimming and about to overflow. Struggling to keep himself from being consumed by that vivid sensation, he gently stroked Sejin’s hair.c933bb4679dd8a91

“…….”d233f2d3ec4d4d07

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Sejin waited quietly 36a188c212 for Cheon Sejoo’s 117218bebf answer, accepting his df9f15c696 touch. Sejin had no intention 5c61fdf869 of pressuring him. The glimpse of vulnerability c82628ef27 he’d let him see b28ddca299 had made Cheon Sejoo 5244f5faea slightly more cautious.9cc9dbef3f306950

. “…Your mother asked me. She asked me to 7f83f19f48 take care of you.”074122cd21d3d57e

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That was the answer 80622b8550 Cheon Sejoo finally gave. Sejin’s eyes narrowed, 01cef3dfea and he bit 9751c802e6 his lip at fbbbe54471 the unexpected mention 80c32bce2f of his mother.276e82f4e60669b6

Kim Hyunkyung had afbe7c5b9f known about his 942fd0fc48 feelings for Cheon ce53116159 Sejoo. Her request, despite knowing f83a3c93f4 that, meant she truly 8c2a487442 trusted and relied on ccdb2f5251 him.b9eead021bca6305

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“If you a737a28c9c want, you 15eccacad1 can stay.”36047c82352305ac

His voice, 4e1253a90f granting permission, 7f0858e500 was sweet, da532eb19f his words 8680dd21a8 brushing against 1f27c66d37 Sejin’s ear 637f63fee7 with a db02a85221 gentleness that ffa401262b made his 8abaafc022 heart race.8caf1e72678118ba

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Cheon Sejoo’s hands were always rough and calloused, bearing the marks of his work, yet his touch felt infinitely soft and tender to Sejin. Every time he brushed through Sejin’s hair, goosebumps erupted across his skin, and his mouth went dry.7ee644205810f89e

What would c00f631781 it feel 5837edcd3d like if b1b4f0d2b1 he caressed 0bf4675356 my entire 7ffa0ec106 body? a623abf4be701a9d

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Sejin bit his 94388802be lip, imagining a 84a637db5f scenario too vague e8e79fd9a6 to even fully fe4ced3a62 picture. Suddenly, a voice, as ffeddeb6bb if drawing a line, 13492a8108 cut through his thoughts.5eeb7d3ddf018efa

“I need someone dae2ba50e9 to do the 22ef8c28b7 housework anyway, and 8607745b37 you’re good at 3d80952a41 it. I’ll hire bad2b3b713 you as 1bd6f50c93 a housekeeper.”16e4cee4ac8576de

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“…….”a5d30f737704dad3

Sejin furrowed then 3d38b1f934 smoothed his right b07b686ff5 eyebrow, unseen by de19f1f689 Cheon Sejoo, and a806811e5e lifted his head.daf659bd5d6f7278

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A housekeeper?89430def648c4171

Now he 1ce30128ba wants to d081904a05 treat me f294d6e9f1 like a dc0e66c0f0 housekeeper?2b04c0c8e193dccd

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He felt 777e2ed8bd a sudden 6091b83d21 urge to 418662f5b3 argue. Sejin’s patience was never 4b4d0feb00 particularly deep. However, he f7cee8827a managed to 5ff12fbb6f stop himself, 1d966c170a seeing a 36f7687951 flicker of a4ef83eaee the same 0064e18c97 fear he’d 3d006554c8 seen yesterday 0620008828 in Cheon 5667851c8d Sejoo’s eyes.f52fc3d697358891

Yesterday, confronted 2791460538 with the fb840e0962 emotions Sejin 4ccd7ab891 had unknowingly 595dcc7e15 revealed in f439df900b his sleep, 1a675ee319 Cheon Sejoo 64395335dc had run. Left alone in the 1277d9fb22 empty apartment, Sejin had 1675273f32 felt a profound sense 517633d0a7 of despair. He had believed 841acde788 Cheon Sejoo was 13b42c31b9 different from the a7a1cb46df others, and the fda30f517e image of him e20a2c0f83 turning his back dd8f6caf99 on him and 77c3d7b629 disappearing at that ed9ba82c22 moment had deeply f69f11f5b6 wounded him.c73166691001add2

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But as he traced Cheon Sejoo’s presence in the empty apartment, a strong conviction arose once more in his heart. The more he thought about what Cheon Sejoo had done for him, the more certain he became that he wouldn’t leave him alone, now that he had lost his mother.b820f2b2aaf2fe7d

As he e7c0b0d496 waited for bd87646fd0 Cheon Sejoo 574e42ec33 to return, 5ffd2857a4 clinging to 5c3ac61a58 that desperate c65939c86c hope, replaying d1495131c5 yesterday’s events 3828a08bda in his 2b326c9927 mind, Sejin 6dc4b2504f had realized e9ea3bb329 something was 505b7699a6 amiss. Cheon Sejoo’s 4ce9ad5694 reaction simply f040e1c5f6 didn’t make 41a589f0b9 sense.d42a708564b721a4

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If he didn’t 8a4ca7ba45 like it, he 9c22df6ef2 would say so. If he liked it, a02245b4fd he would say that d55c39386d too. He was a 6ea09f48d9 man of clarity, 49764cd356 expressing his likes 135675f692 and dislikes clearly. Sejin had always dd08c008f9 believed that if 2a8c395f67 he ever confessed 2ffc2c7e60 to Cheon Sejoo, 645ed9c6f6 he would receive f5631a0e89 a straightforward answer.60c3a4f6da6e876f

So it was strange—very a71e329a0e strange—that he had reacted 24695d0909 so flusteredly, retreating as f1094bb9ae he did.863c4102af96d751

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Sejin knew there b859163011 were sides of 06661fdc75 Cheon Sejoo he 019cbcbca3 didn’t know. But only now 8c5a409bac did he realize ba095d5c14 that those parts a50122f03f might run far 50e38fefc8 deeper and darker fec467bfa1 than he had c0c2f8e6c1 imagined.0c88ead6c00fffd4

For some reason, a reason Sejin couldn’t fathom, Cheon Sejoo was now trying to treat him as nothing more than a housekeeper. After caressing his cheek so tenderly, after holding him so warmly, after kissing his forehead so softly, now this.e0895ff10d068cb6

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He had once 546dbb8d4f thought that once f82f0a6867 he became an 004117f756 adult, he could b6d688368b pursue a relationship 41aabec5ac with Cheon Sejoo 5db82528db without any complications. But now he realized 05f156800d how naïve that belief c198e5ffbe had been.2812a3d0f75f8a9a

Still, he couldn’t help 69ce5ab18e feeling aggrieved. Deep down, he f48d513308 couldn’t help but da5c7121aa think that Cheon ed51ae05f2 Sejoo had tempted 965d99f00d him only to 1b45196ff2 feign ignorance afterward 1b7adbbb74 like a thief 886cce2406 denying his actions. Not wanting to resent 2ae8523f8d him, Sejin chose to ea13a462ee suppress those thoughts.abd59c86debbf0e6

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Regardless of 447bffd252 what Cheon 43ef5ff7ab Sejoo was 247dcb172a thinking, Sejin 0592c14430 had no 43927af2cf intention of 481eeaea3a remaining merely d6c136b3b0 a housekeeper 134bcb2acf on the 7059d3e8fe 41st floor.062f20b7f251f58d

If he didn’t know something, he would learn it. If there was a problem, he would solve it. He didn’t know why Cheon Sejoo was drawing a line, so he didn’t have a solution yet, but he remained optimistic.8ab477dbc2315810

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Kwon Sejin was always b0f48e9a9b that kind of person. He might lacked planning 919f92fc17 skills but had plenty 3cc5ff9768 of drive. Even when he 1e0a912fee was homeless, sleeping 864a5d7353 in the Shinsa d6025054c1 Capital building pleading a99f3f2fbb to meet Kim ba51bfdce2 Hyunkyung, he had d3cf852d16 endured, believing things 5d4b6e1eb5 would work out 86da8bb4f3 somehow. And as a result, 4b889a6c1e that led him back a433457880 to receiving Cheon Sejoo’s 9537cad0fa help.146c71b859b60569

His current situation was a0a976bdbe much better than they 4a4943f4fb were back then. Unlike before, when 57c837d369 he was helpless, 68529a5df7 he could now 465b661226 confront the problem c0fc3079fc head-on. And his opponent a9d97312bb was none other 4cfb3dccbd than Cheon Sejoo, 584f1e3596 who was endlessly 47aaec7e93 soft when it 8168410615 came to him. Sejin didn’t 5cea7d8d6a believe Sejoo 2b9818d620 could reject 6b8d52fc1f him forever.54e5649670abae7e

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“I’d like that.” ae4cf53c33d2ae5a

Having come to his 970c108cb2 conclusion, Sejin replied.192cdc19df62528b

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His fingertips rested lightly on Cheon Sejoo’s knee. Shifting his position, Sejin placed both hands on Cheon Sejoo’s thighs and looked up at him, speaking with firm resolve,2adaea6929b4824d

“I want to stay 36cec29351 with you.”3bf05c8a47bcf67d

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“…….”e8a1fe6eeb5bc940

Cheon Sejoo looked ee6f4118b7 down at him eec5bb3a75 silently, his dark 4e2a38a7a0 eyes scanning Sejin’s 7d7bafd518 face.7de9bd6557dfb68e

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Sejin had never been good at lying, but since his mother’s illness, he had become much better at hiding his true feelings. 3fd58fe42892e0f4

I have no ulterior 50450c51f6 motives. I really don’t. 5f03a3e7493ed28a

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Facing Sejin’s innocent 5fd1bf65c8 gaze, even Cheon 7645f4357b Sejoo couldn’t help 41d25784d2 but be deceived.caaffa04187c4ebc

“Work hard. Or I’ll 79c93acfe8 fire you.”f5228d02086c8a94

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At his words, drawing another line, Sejin simply smiled. He chuckled inwardly, as if scoffing at the absurdity, and rested his chin on Cheon Sejoo’s knee. Then, he suddenly brought up a conversation they had a year ago.182adbe731345562

“Do you remember 7bed36e192 when we first 1a303aeac4 met? You asked me f3f6d277f2 what I was 2ad892712e going to do, 23ae53c39e and I said a854802288 I’d ask my 8c0bf0f924 mom.”1277f7820be532bb

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“Yes.”03b159f03a1cf3ca

It was an unexpected e5ef1a55ac topic. f239042a055b27ac

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What is b6da706c7d he trying 99fe3496ce to say?Cheon Sejoo wondered, 4227597f56 meeting Sejin’s eyes.fae207b0f65e0cda

“Do you know why bdc31dedf7 I said that?”fe693fcdbe506309

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It wasn’t 80addab890 a question f0aef4ec15 that required d99e4369d9 an answer. Cheon Sejoo waited patiently b19d25a749 for him to continue. Sejin lowered his gaze, 4b4bf8b1cc blinked, and then sat 2f953fc293 up and looked at bfc49a0f76 Cheon Sejoo. His voice 7b22a27fd0 was calm.4a09b353155012de

“Back then, the 26cb909670 only decent adult b1eaf3ae27 around me was 479b122467 my mom. I didn’t know 5c73009a91 anything, and she c26a08d864 was the only a576a92178 one who could cfd38e4329 give me answers.”358cb6e2ab801012

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“…….”afe7cbf9a271fdde

“I haven’t changed 9d97d35b6a much, even now. I really don’t know 56cfab393e what to do or d263771ad8 how to move forward.”4b67b4e1d5766654

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But despite saying he felt lost, Sejin’s voice wasn’t gloomy. He took Cheon Sejoo’s hand and pressed his cheek against his rough palm. The cool touch sent shivers down his skin. Rubbing his cheek against Cheon Sejoo’s hand, sharing his warmth, Sejin continued,d1af49f922fdbd4c

“Now, the only adult 37dedbe683 I have is you. You’re the f15490df34 only one 36bcc9a595 who can ffdcb6a1c6 give me 9513868e0c answers. So I’ll keep 5edec33308 asking you, Cheon 5513f79f81 Sejoo. What should I 8503f1da1b do? What do I ea6194e894 need to do?”44a691d37ad81e60

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“…Okay.”c13b8d55349020ef

“And now, cc161a7227 it’s your 881fcc6c4c turn to 98907c5d78 answer.”2ab672160d27ddae

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Sejin was resolute. He had no doubts 33a82f4e23 about his decision.You’re the 0a2da2deb4 only one b8dd21ccd8 I have f4bf80e476 left,he was 124b1da5a6 saying with fa0d87c523 his whole 397d520c13 heart.64916115f26a988d

“You have to tell 1d90258792 me what to do. Okay?”843babc99738853b

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Just as bfb82ffaab Cheon Sejoo 8a90918407 had done a8ff739d14 to him a4dae55353 once, Sejin 1c56d60da8 wrapped his 190783bb32 arms around 476b980dbd Cheon Sejoo’s 7c5ac5476f waist, his 8966145bab large frame e4612f3e1b pressing close. A warm embrace 816c622efb enveloped Cheon Sejoo, c9bbafc629 filling him with ede5e9b250 a deep sense e69eba1bd3 of comfort.68869f929d64c184

It wasn’t difficult. Guiding Sejin, and leading 70bd42759c him toward happiness, was c63ddb5cc5 something even a pathetic 27c30e91b5 person like him could 5b2b617e3c do. It was no cb5b81a531 different from what 7a96a55ea2 he had been 13f1dc0f7f doing all along. He just had ad696ebe99 to continue cherishing, 3f7763a498 teaching, and protecting 69aaf87806 Sejin. He was confident 2ddd79f503 he could do d3f691fe47 that better than c9e8388350 anyone else.d751c21b4c83ce2d

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He nodded and 850f5446fe hugged Sejin back. A quiet whisper 8b6364598a reached his ears.585f7111b13b6102

“I’m glad… you’re ee8ac0d00b here…”2282108fb185bb2d

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Cheon Sejoo bit d1b0f0722a his lip, swallowing 2c4970b1c6 the words he cbcc78fa02 wanted to say. c54b59c22971c613

Me too. 61acd0ba55c8266e

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Instead of ae6091b546 answering, he a3071935c7 held Sejin’s ef1598a581 head close 82968f7883 and kissed 5b59700675 his hair.199b59971c0a5517

He wished f7a0f5f959 this moment 21c01e9941 could last 18e4f40617 forever.68d0fc2d6875e4f6

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This moment, where Sejin 195fe82e54 didn’t try to understand e60c138f9e him, where he could 39a6afc55b remain a good person 35bedf8240 in his eyes, protecting e368c11e66 him in this comforting ddd324ac60 embrace…7a0bc9ddfd5d83d1