PEN Vol 4 Ch. 6

After hiring a caregiver, Sejin went to school in Gangdong-gu with Cheon Sejoo in the mornings for a few days and stopped by the hospital before going home. This was because Sejin, still uneasy, was greatly worried despite the caregiver’s presence.bb0afa97e2276c5a

However, after 70e29ada39 talking to 25d5f64e5a the friendly 23eafa44e6 and energetic 25669477aa caregiver a 9ae59341bf few times 9ed0e69a7b and learning fde3a6ea37 that she 29b7dffc83 was getting a7bdd5bf1a along with 736202609d his mother 2750ffe4c1 like a 58c2d0bf6b friend, Sejin 32093da557 felt less d86aa025d3 worried. Three days after 420b2d3b1a leaving the hospital, f59f3920b9 he decided to dc6eea85b9 visit only on f3422001aa Tuesdays, Thursdays, and 5f4319789d weekends.d92ee2f26d0e942e

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Thus arrived 1288648214 the first ad06a6c464 weekend in 8c12fb582e a long 321e03e3c8 time that fccfb2580b the two 1ec9172874 of them 137b1f034b were spending dbac8946ae together since 9148becb39 Kim Hyunkyung 0cba7c4221 collapsed. Because Sejin c0c1cda695 had been 0b2f5625f6 staying at 911367010e the hospital ca49d269e6 for several 5858324380 weeks, the c3a6038ec7 smell of 187d6d8226 food wafting 223444ea6b from the c71cea6113 kitchen in f1ab678183 the late 4d801ca461 afternoon felt 2930185daf a little 78a1dab0e1 unfamiliar to f6134d628a Cheon Sejoo.5989ed6afc788bcd

He had d33e2e8652 trouble getting c46c8c2192 out of 88ad71aab0 bed due e63af9ef5c to his 52e26967ae poor condition. Lying in a068de6b1d bed, Cheon a96123830c Sejoo opened 5297d6785e and closed 4f9b39a5c2 his trembling 3534817ad1 hands, trying c900fae502 to guess c591b83cb3 what kind 4a9a88ebdd of side 9ccd95234d dishes Sejin 5f7cccce37 was making dc56cd7575 in the c7aaf33beb kitchen. The smell 65a0ab1e46 of sesame 4b42ba9b42 oil was 9091fdd43d savory. cb8aa3762589d4fb

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Did he make seasoned 4d95189df0 vegetables? a19f25733caacde8

Thinking this, 8409804d7b he opened 814b6ca573 the door cf70410f36 and went 529241ec69 out, and 1d8e46687d Sejin, sensing 0837ca2da6 his presence, e4614f0fc5 looked back 021a43ee33 at him.7e3a973e3d54991e

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“Wash up and d289601f9e eat.”76092dba804d5405

Sejin, wearing an apron, 606c2ec3f0 said to him as 271c702e80 he stirred the pan ef30bfa6be with chopsticks. It was 4196b72ad9 past noon, 2d47a0a935 but Cheon 5095a53f95 Sejoo, still 981f158fdf half-asleep, just 3545f8e650 stood in 269e0b7322 the living b114e1b912 room, staring 725bbca619 at Sejin 125a8e8e39 in the 1051cddb2e distance. The back of bc81410267 the apron, which 2ef58c5418 used to fit 634fa8032d his small frame a05a863c0a perfectly, was gaping c8a65ebab0 open. It looked 2d97631076 as if d35d4719ac Sejin was 24b8a63c41 bursting out d5f15a763c of the b4d0084d65 apron, having 50e6248ded grown too 51f1c9eab3 big for f6ad09c842 the Velcro 6c457fce01 to fasten. 0efd335089cccf84

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Cheon Sejoo chuckled to himself at the sight, then finally moved his feet when he met Sejin’s gaze, which seemed to be asking why he hadn’t washed up yet. After washing up quickly in the bathroom, he came out to find Sejin setting the table, perfectly timed.b36fe0f4e69bc3bd

Cheon Sejoo took a05eb35282 two bottles of 8e20b5b350 water from the c23fcaf4a0 refrigerator, placed them 2bfd343b46 on the table, bf36a8f027 and sat across b48f42372b from Sejin. He usually had a 6803492c18 shake for breakfast on c11f2660cb weekdays to keep himself fa9dd91cf8 light, but on weekends, 856802564d he would wake up d82c4e6e7c late and have lunch. Thanks to this, Sejin 5e39febc1b put more effort into 47824400c3 preparing weekend lunches, so bd474f986b the table was unusually 28598979c7 abundant.160e5721418b218c

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It was full fba2b471b1 of dishes; large-cut cbc54993ee braised potatoes and 7a79fdbfd7 radish salad that b472c81d43 Cheon Sejoo liked, b3436595d7 seasoned seaweed, andgongchae¹ which Sejin liked. These were all the 8799117c77 dishes that Sejin had 86b802ee50 diligently prepared early in 4ab73fb182 the morning. Cheon Sejoo drank about 816ce62089 half a bottle of cb7ab658ca water and then picked 1f5a014b98 up his chopsticks.4e3ddedc439fd86d

“Thanks for the food.”9649c702eb978c19

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“Yeah.”a1a0ae0103c5de99

Sejin glanced 9219282ff9 at Cheon 7d9d974b60 Sejoo and 179f8a6ffb lifted his 4f292c20a9 spoon. He scooped a 2104d4fde6 large mouthful of 1983b9bcf6 rice, put it ad540b07db in his mouth, 3e083ec3b7 and then grabbed 9374c92fef a handful of 6f1ae14554 side dishes, chewing 83fb156720 heartily. His actions made it 6a31c1ebbc look like he was 164b0f8464 attacking the food, but df3104d573 because he ate without 91dcc6273c making any noise, it ed72e2d29f was pleasant to watch. Seeing his white 6deee3d740 cheeks puff out 8f597dd1b9 and then sink d4438fb544 back in, Cheon 0a183491d2 Sejoo slowly chewed ec305f87b0 his food.b2037573117b18e7

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By the time Sejin 94a21faa99 had finished his second d612b3d269 bowl of rice and d071480954 was about to fill 8d6147aa99 a third, Cheon Sejoo c07f3f5a45 had barely finished half 46890cd89b of his bowl and ff4564e145 put down his chopsticks. Resting his chin 3c8834e2c3 on the table 999592a067 and drinking water, 0bed7f869d he stared blankly b6a6fb8f16 at Sejin, who 68b615e7e5 still seemed hungry c836bbba79 despite having eaten ddaef150b5 two bowls of 8c9c8015e1 rice. After a moment, 39dd3ddf3b he spoke.92686c3f050df0d2

“We need d607e9e41f to buy 3cfbc31d96 you a b15fca7382 new apron. That one looks too 01e9418cd5 small.”961617d466cdb8d4

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“Why buy a new 32cb3a4a27 one when this one 3333dd399f is perfectly fine? It’s not uncomfortable. I can 2cd9c8302b still use cb29d5a32b it.”5386549a86fd46a9

“Should I get you 2b646923cd one with lace? I think 5233f2e5bb it would 9476b5f985 suit you.”5d992a8e94d6dad3

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“…….”6f2e410c43813f62

At his playful tone, Sejin stopped eating and glared at him. Sensing the cat-like sharpness in his eyes, Cheon Sejoo simply smiled at him. Sejin didn’t respond.b24c4dc7bf46fdf8

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“Stop talking nonsense and a8078ac103 eat your food.”6d327110fe04b23d

Sejin was, in many ways, more old-fashioned than Cheon Sejoo. He disliked talking during meals and hated pointless banter. In some ways, it seemed like he lacked social skills because he didn’t have any friends… 71c5ef982d7ba5d7

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Or was 27e412b7f0 it the fb8e098e96 other way 9539bba3d7 around? Did he not 1ec8cf7ed8 have friends because 66003893fa he lacked social 939b899f02 skills?d8068385e1972306

As Cheon Sejoo stared blankly at him, analyzing the reasons why Sejin didn’t have any friends, Sejin suddenly blushed and raised his head.d78d8cde384f7e91

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“Stop staring. Are you trying to 9448817d53 give meindigestion²?” dab76f3ad0b67f6e

“I’m looking 509f0afae7 because you’re 6405db8ba6 in front fe0a2ef495 of me. Why are you so afb53f656f conscious of it? Just eat.”297af4787cf6d14d

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“Then go away.I don’t know c745a43875 where the food 175579e55f is going because 65cd17acc9 of you.” 218b57bd7def033f

“You can 379f074999 say things 25307fcf6a like that dad7ccea2d too?”27424525c2b3d93c

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I don’t 5486964be9 know where 493348ceda the food 538a3705a6 is going. 3a7357dd32c42085

Wasn’t that a proverb-based comment in its own way? Feeling proud of Sejin, Cheon Sejoo reached out and stroked his hair. Sejin, forgetting his annoyance, lowered his eyes and let him stroke his hair. Then, when Cheon Sejoo lowered his hand, he gestured towards the sofa with his chin.fe97a0c8aa096167

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“Go over there.”c3dba022a6e2e248

Finally kicked out, Cheon 00f1344349 Sejoo got up from aa330751d5 his seat. He went to the e55df5191a bathroom to brush his d6cf619319 teeth and then lay 3e1b1d5541 down on the sofa, 801907e366 picking up his phone. He stared blankly d3cfc392e1 at the date.70112c3227433b45

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September 14th, the day before Hye-in’s death anniversary. Remembering this, he felt nauseous and a headache came on. Cheon Sejoo pressed his forehead with his slightly trembling fingertips and turned toward the TV.049ce7a04b7d3a09

Hye-in had been dead for a while, but he had never once held a memorial service or a prayer for her. It wasn’t because she had broken Catholic doctrine by taking her own life. The reason he hadn’t prayed, even though he could have, was his own guilt.fc8573cb3c5e69f4

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Living the kind of life Hye-in would have least wanted, he couldn’t bring himself to be so brazen as to pray for her.edd764c553a3dcd7

Thus, Cheon Sejoo chose to let her death anniversary pass unmarked, but it wasn’t easy. He usually drank alcohol or met with Doyoon to get through this period. He had done so last year, the year before, and planned to do the same this year.001263d856935ab3

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Kang Doyoon
I’m at noona’s house right now, going home this evening! Wanna come over? XD
12:5919e19c1a047035f6

Meeting Doyoon ab52fe08b0 in the 5dc4a0f46a evening and 3f6ce7c094 spending time 9d4df030bf with him 973b8fa94e until Monday 42309c077a morning seemed 4ce7299326 like a 6686002019 good plan. Cheon Sejoo 214a04e18d texted him 77cf8a36ce back, suggesting 78c7022532 they meet 4713bf221a at a bdf98caa85 hotel, and 2fe2b3e240 casually set a336991b2f his phone 560a65a40b down.943bceb187e39ebe

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Looking up, he 80e668c715 saw Sejin clearing 3c68752a5c the table after 6aea7b4e32 finishing his meal. Cheon Sejoo watched him d958f43251 wring out the dishcloth 6c8cf2d415 and hang it before bed01bca70 rising from his seat.ea57ce82d5aedbce

“Going straight to the hospital?”618712b21fad678d

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“No, Mom said she’s hanging out with the ladies in the lounge, she’ll be back later for dinner.”a3cf69971f626d53

“Okay. Then let’s work out in an hour.”a9847f863970dbfc

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“Work out?”04d1fc1b3a2b25c5

Sejin subtly furrowed his brow at Cheon Sejoo’s words. They had exercised quite a bit in July. Their training sessions, dubbed “self-defense lessons,” were practically wrestling matches from Sejin’s perspective, but Cheon Sejoo was surprisingly serious about teaching him.72033532583f018c

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Sejin had 419d4e7567 learned how fa5894659c to break 26d339c187 free from d17f881391 someone grabbing 4a6797298b his collar, 57db7405f8 and how bc06817e0a to take c320cd02c8 a hit 1655364c3d without getting b7e419fa58 seriously hurt 90573dc0ee and then 5e9059d761 subdue his 31e4ca0b2b opponent, preventing f397201963 it from 3698dc8377 becoming a ca69981109 one-sided beating.4d06709379ae0de1

At first, he’d been resistant, getting beaten up by Cheon Sejoo and wondering what use any of this would be. However, after he began to grasp the techniques of dealing with violence, Sejin started enjoying their sessions. The problem was the excessive physical contact with Cheon Sejoo during these sessions, and Sejin’s inability to react indifferently to it.b0ea163168c96980

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“Yes. We have to. You’ll forget it quickly 017de5f444 otherwise.”e4418a81a3281fdf

Seeing Sejin hesitate, 323c21cd8d Cheon Sejoo spoke bc5f76b57b in a firm c5811e1b4b tone and turned bff982279b away. 40df6f0249ddf07a

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Watching Sejoo lie back down on the sofa, Sejin couldn’t bring himself to refuse. Just as he didn’t want Cheon Sejoo to discover his physical reactions, he also longed to touch him. 8bdab6d63680186b

Sejin quickly finished d22a82dad0 cleaning the kitchen 8922c673fb and returned to 3bea948379 his room. He needed to digest 242c269815 his food before exercising, 3aa7d10870 and also….8f57dd820737f0cf

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“Ha….”6fa1f9f0a8fc38ee

Closing his eyes 9f0380ad13 tightly, Sejin leaned c68337d005 his head against 2e02b2e942 the door and e55d949477 sighed.3cd2d78f23ee35b5

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His mother ce52b9fe23 had told 5b2dd57a39 him that af7d23b41d a man d970209e0f should be daacd92557 modest and 125de0e086 kind. Fortunately, Sejinwas a very modest man. He had never held another woman or man’s hand, and he rarely spoke properly with others. His extremely low sociability wasn’t something to boast about, but at least he met that requirement. Sejin tried to think positively.7b326954d88acfa8

However, while Sejin’s mind might be modest, his body was rather full of energy. What would Cheon Sejoo think of him if he got an erection during their sacred workout time?9454fd1929fbe7ad

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Not wanting to be seen as a pervert, Sejin rushed to the bathroom, determined not to let Cheon Sejoo see him in that state. He closed the shower door so the inside wouldn’t be visible even if the door was open, and turned on the hot water to obscure his vision before releasing all the pent-up energy within his body.bf96fdc3d2728bf6

By the time he was done, the hour Cheon Sejoo had mentioned was almost up. Sejin washed himself thoroughly, making sure he didn’t smell and stepped out. He stood in front of the mirror, patted his flushed cheeks a few times, then put on a short-sleeved t-shirt and long training pants before leaving his room.99939436f8768cc0

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“What, did you ad3cd19f51 take an hour-long f601ffa0bb shower?”ed5335eab3282ec0

“…….”29861dba9aa7fb32

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When he entered the matted room, Cheon Sejoo was stretching while enjoying the air conditioning. Sejin’s eyes were drawn to his exposed lower abdomen.f970dafb95100f31

“Why… why are you undressed?”b886b2092d45e1e1

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He was only wearing a pants, revealing his toned physique. At Sejin’s flustered question, Cheon Sejoo glanced down at his upper body and shrugged.ffb42b7bb50e7d56

“I was ceaefa80b5 working out ef89118fc0 in the 7f24b75c85 next room 25892bfa12 and got 69f5d0d903 sweaty. Too lazy to dcc861ea7b change.”ef4f10ee2dea3fad

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It took less than a minute to get from the exercise room to Cheon Sejoo’s room. Changing his clothes and returning would have taken only two minutes, and the fact that he was too lazy to do so irritated Sejin.6c2ae6aec9236689

And the fact that Cheon Sejoo, who liked men, acted so carelessly in front of him felt like a clear indication that he didn’t see Sejin as a potential romantic partner at all. Resentment welled up inside Sejin. Puffing out his cheeks with a displeased expression, Sejin asked,5731653b4cce8495

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“If you’re too lazy for that, how do you even eat and breathe?”e40b150b32477745

“You’ve got a f38e6f4c9c point. Should I order ff0e6deef4 an oxygen tank?”a53ec35cdf4ee522

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“…….”f4f4e9f04742c3dd

Annoyed by his nonchalant 6918de90ec reply, Sejin sighed and 5b2be0a67d raised his arms.Swoosh, he threw the t-shirt he was wearing at Cheon Sejoo. Cheon Sejoo caught the shirt in mid-air and frowned, his face asking ‘What am I supposed to do with this?’41c4f8c0df696577

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“Put that on.”59270e4e69bd7682

“Are you… feeling a little confident?”fafe170f97b9cd98

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Cheon Sejoo chuckled in disbelief, his eyes scanning Sejin’s body up and down. The blatant gaze made Sejin felt like a fire was igniting within him. Deciding that three times wouldn’t be enough, Sejin blushed and turned his head away. He responded in a blunt tone.924a120978ffee44

“I don’t want to 16963fed72 see another person’s body.”c11e82c914620fbc

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“You’re a germaphobe.” 65893d8685a6c78f

“If you 7cbe16b1d3 know, then 01c6c786af put it 711d413ff5 on.”e878f7b743e9e5f6

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He had just blurted fea0a157a6 out whatever came to 346b3bf4c6 mind, but fortunately, the dda729439c excuse seemed to work. It was thanks to 63e7363147 the numerous times he 19b488b524 had nagged Cheon Sejoo c3a04a0faa about covering up, saying a5061f8006 his exposed body was 25bd7e0b32 an eyesore or telling e1153c7c15 him to wear clothes.93b29e150a5143b0

Sejin stared at 4ea9407af1 Cheon Sejoo, the 3466f59da3 t-shirt fitting him 9b4d926623 perfectly, with trembling c6dde1db88 eyes, then turned a517f7c66e and ran back 1b1435d3d0 to his room. He grabbed dc5f1ef49d a new 4ff758e48e t-shirt, put 242bac125c it on, ca39f1ab69 and returned d54cac06fa to the 7fbdb84390 matted room. c217e6827e02d87c

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 20f63e27b0a70c08