PEN Vol 4 Ch. 2

From the rooftop b1c742081a of Hankuk University 7be45a0aa8 Hospital, located in 26214aec0c the heart of d6c88c8400 the city, he 1027a650dd could see the 04adedb276 darkened cityscape spread dcb2a16d70 out below. The city, dotted with e50b5c7e96 red crosses, looked like 62a134575a a giant tomb. A hot wind, 3c74a52621 as if rising 1ad097cc2e from hell, blew 3232567846 from it, carrying 79b0ed6df0 the heat of a5bd2f70b6 a tropical night. In that heat, 75f56b3359 Cheon Sejoo blamed 0375485cae himself.c384fa93f860ec34

When he first heard the news of Kim Hyunkyung’s collapse, what if he hadn’t hidden it from Sejin, as she had asked? What if he hadn’t accepted her explanation about dieting and instead found it strange? What if he had taken her to the hospital even once?dd7147eb46ac6007

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What if he hadn’t thought Kim Hyunkyung, who was continuously losing weight, was overdoing it, but realized that something was wrong with her health? What if he had noticed the reason why Hyunkyung wore makeup every time he went to Ehwagak, even on her days off…?a5ecc258238db815

All those signs, now that he looked back, were so obvious that he could have noticed something was wrong if he had paid just a little more attention to her. Why hadn’t he noticed? He felt like he was going crazy.0750eebee79ccc77

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It had been the same when he lost Hye-in. Cheon Sejoo had been so focused on her future that he hadn’t realized what changes were happening to her. And it was the same this time. Kim Hyunkyung’s existence was essential for Sejin’s happiness, but he had been so focused solely on Sejin that he had been indifferent to Hyunkyung’s changes. He felt stupid.078bba72c4408bc7

His chest a2002c0e90 tightened painfully. He felt so 9a9f386bfc suffocated that he 360e881afc had the urge 360df0a660 to cut open 514f12a6aa his stomach with 054a1776f2 a knife and d07b07b9e3 pull out everything 5067cac45b inside. With a blank expression, bd0d387630 Sejoo pressed his hand 71e025a78f against his chest and cd45db052b took a deep breath.75c7e803a48d0911

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He was deed49063d pulled out 9faf0b3291 of his 8c382c8e80 prolonged wallowing cd159a956c in regret 3472525e38 by the 5acc51d5a6 vibration of 2ee8190426 his cell fb362b6df7 phone in a019807c6a his jacket. Cheon Sejoo 9fdfded110 came to 5219487dd0 his senses, 8d540812c2 realizing that 951706b320 Sejin was 3e431ab931 calling him. Looking down at the 588bd320e4 screen, he saw that 1ef40128b4 Sejin had called him 97916fe772 twice.dc81f64b935aef6d

“…Yes.”24289f3ae9456198

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-Where are you?7323a9737791b9e6

Sejin’s voice, asking 971ea614ed his location, was 5805db4a48 calmer than he 8bf35554c2 had expected. Had he d93b467e61 not heard f4753bd7f0 the news fdfbd03131 yet? Cheon Sejoo raised his e107162643 right hand and checked c245be201f his watch. Enough time ee742c1ece had passed 9410ba5ca7 for Kim 43c7500c34 Joowon to f71c5a032d have explained 76571f103d the situation 3c35910427 to them.656ddabdccc26b9e

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Realizing that Sejin was 9e76e91a84 suppressing his emotions and d0cc9b14e2 looking for him, not b28761aaa9 his mother, Sejoo turned 29bfa1b52d around. He slowly 14429fb84c started walking, 5ab55496bb recognizing that b59a3eed2f Sejin needed c33aa2fde2 him in 6164a5cd7e that state.1d61db873526d964

“Rooftop. I’ll be d86331e252 right there.”28dc2adc6145f299

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-Come quickly….b6146f5b824f4afb

“…Wait just a little 6ae6a6f9f8 bit.”a3d8f22e03d6e114

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He heard a e010ce6579 small “Okay” in de63e8efdc response. Cheon Sejoo 3b18dc0d60 hung up f563e95407 and went 19e8b69874 down the 793ca6d239 stairs. Arriving on the 17th 82b462d826 floor and stepping into 4034bbdb03 the hallway, he saw 0ed1aaef63 Sejin sitting outside the 2d43ec7280 patient’s room.5f91f011cc8e073a

Kwon Sejin looked exactly as he had when he left the house earlier that afternoon. A white short-sleeved t-shirt and black shorts. Sitting in a chair with his newly bought sneakers, which he had gotten recently because his feet had grown, Sejin’s expression was no different than usual.b6db6d93c95b9514

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With his usual sullen, expressionless face, he stared down at the floor. At first glance, he seemed as if he hadn’t heard the news from Kim Joowon yet. Perhaps Jowoon had stopped by another patient’s room first and hadn’t had a chance to speak to Sejin yet.c0be16dad3b6e748

Cheon Sejoo approached 292cfe4da1 Sejin, thinking such 6b3c7c19f1 thoughts. However, it was 3aca25b572 a hasty judgment.0dc00bffeb3469c1

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Hearing Cheon Sejoo’s footsteps, Sejin’s expression crumbled. His indifferent eyes became moist, and his eyebrows drooped. His bright red lips were marked with bite marks. Sejin looked up at Cheon Sejoo and called his name in a voice filled with resentment.807f52829063935e

“Cheon Sejoo.”2d07c48587182b91

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His voice ac495b9005 trembled thinly 5f1a75c63d as if 141163979d he were cf147f94be about to de2bb23638 burst into 456f7264ae tears.f62f46930ddd19da

“Where were d3304d00bc you and 5a6de427ee why are 1888ee5f01 you only 298608b424 here now?”424551cb2dde0535

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Sejin buried his face in the chest of the man standing before him. Large arms wrapped around his waist. Frozen stiff, Cheon Sejoo couldn’t bring himself to push away Sejin, who clung to him like a child, and just stood there.43eb2da02b67fd7a

The remaining heat in his body combined with Sejin’s body temperature made him feel like he was burning inside. The guilt, like ashes falling piece by piece, left an indelible scar on his heart. 80178076a24e523c

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“Mom is very sick…. Really, really sick….”b892e94e269f822e

Sejin murmured, his lips 071175ec05 quivering.042a423175d786e5

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…I know. Your mom collapsed a few months ago too. But, Sejin, I just brushed it off. If I had just thought about it a little more strangely, things wouldn’t have turned out like this. I believed your mom when she said she was fine, and I just brushed everything off….81cc09c172d925b8

However, the 01a0fb33bf words he 5c5ccd7407 should have 48a95df855 spoken remained ab80a2d5d3 stuck in 3067bfdc68 his throat, a8d8a9708a rotting away.d506bb1a66826a9f

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“What should I do?”ec71f487c45b71e6

The shirt against Sejin’s cheek became damp. Kwon Sejin shook his head, rubbing his face against Cheon Sejoo’s chest, as if he truly didn’t know what to do.70503cb7b43d0f7f

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“Tell me what to do…. I don’t know anything….”5bfc990c0792a5ab

The fragile voice tore at Cheon Sejoo’s heart. He couldn’t bring himself to tell him the truth. He couldn’t confess. He couldn’t bring himself to admit that he’d missed the chance.81136426d4e29d43

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“She’ll get better with treatment. …It’s not too late, not at all.”7c3f947aca9638a2

I don’t want Kwon Sejin to hate me. At least to you, Sejin, I want to remain a good person until the very end. 676220242f4845c9

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Ignoring the sickening guilt, Cheon Sejoo accepted Sejin’s warmth, who was clinging to him, without resistance. Holding him tightly in his arms, he whispered over and over that everything would be alright.607587272dd2aa0e

* * *eaf5566aa7584bf2

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Sejin was quick to accept the misfortune. After crying in Cheon Sejoo’s arms until the hallway lights went out, Sejin started searching for information about pancreatic tumors the next day.9834142d8f29422f

The problem was none other than Kim Hyunkyung. As if she had vaguely sensed that something was wrong with her, she wasn’t very positive about the treatment.e27511a2dbd3736c

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“I just want to be discharged.”15f512b2d2e56a34

Those were a30816cc1c Kim Hyunkyung’s e3f02a904e words as 5f739836cb soon as e59293c9ed she saw 9b89af1ac9 the doctor 2c85bf5a28 who had 65984e58bb come for b886fa78dd rounds. Hearing that, Sejin glared 6e1d83b2c2 fiercely and yelled at 8bdbcfc1ec her not to say ff02710506 such things, but Kim 6f4c1a2fca Hyunkyung was adamant.ca5c4df0e516bf72

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“I can bear it. I don’t want treatment. Please let me be discharged.”440af54837e195e1

“Why are you doing this?!”d1fe54725c2d537e

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The oncologist, with a 40860a9265 troubled expression, looked at 8300f5f783 Cheon Sejoo. He recognized him, 3b44485f61 not the tall 3474d8252b but still student-like 458f5f2790 Sejin, as the a87734e619 guardian. Cheon Sejoo looked back 1de18c4241 and forth between Kim 2aef50803d Hyunkyung and Sejin, then 21d8c6c946 shook his head at 5d8451e66b the doctor and said,8add9e2b6320ba9e

“She’ll get a biopsy, and if it’s cancer… she’ll go to the center for treatment.”375d91e799318149

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“Mr. Cheon!”7e983acb1c40db65

This time, 5e977b3317 it was 6cdd68fa6d Kim Hyunkyung 874b7f147d who yelled 47cac9e77f at his bcfcbd3a34 firm voice. The doctor, 995de24117 deciding to d54998c3cb give them 3c3980f8dc some time, 5b1c0f7d09 although the df818af92a patient’s wishes d26a3c2696 were paramount, dc2b1fe349 instructed the 59d1ff2466 nurse to a6da4980ac schedule blood 43d390740c tests, a 0da05bb258 PET scan, e17f788a6a and other 61afd0f0af various examinations 3bb582574c before leaving.5cd8a80393fdf081

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After the doctor 8edf53848a left the room, 42ec0c2ab7 Kim Hyunkyung wore 09860d8aa9 a hard expression 620162b243 on her face e3e3044009 that  Cheon Sejoo 5c13ecdb45 had never seen 92bfaca94a before. Watching her bbd5e4ca79 with her 1fad66a869 lips tightly 40e5665eb7 pressed together ba1be82655 as if 00afd039b9 she was ed797a91eb angry, Cheon 8c3d11b5ee Sejoo spoke 4422e3de91 to Sejin.08a8171a522c589d

“Kwon Sejin, go outside for a moment.”64199a733057443c

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“But I…!”6afae02eecc5e8c2

“Sejin.”049948a3c94a7107

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Sejin, who was about to yell at Kim Hyunkyung, resisted with a frown, but in the end, he couldn’t ignore Cheon Sejoo’s low call. Only after he went out into the hallway and the sliding door closed completely did Cheon Sejoo move.a9720f1fd137e7a8

He pulled a chair f5d534f134 from by the window, 13d11a6b32 placed it next to e3838467cb the hospital bed, and db30ed617b sat down. Kim Hyunkyung immediately fixed 9a840c9357 her eyes on him 5733c9d1fe with a knowing gaze. Meeting her 947e7a1b05 eyes, Cheon b56f656eee Sejoo spoke e78de71568 in a 51888350cf firm voice.d0a89a4d855f1df5

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“Get the tests and receive treatment.”42a4f7c794f3861c

“It’s none of your concern, Manager. I’m really grateful and thankful that you’re taking care of Sejin, but this is my business. It’s not something you should be interfering in.”93e04edff7084c14

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Kwon Sejin was the spitting image of his mother, in appearance and personality. So Kim Hyunkyung, just like Sejin, was also extremely stubborn. Even with her pale, thin face, he could sense that she wouldn’t easily give in. Cheon Sejoo stared at Kim Hyunkyung for a moment, then asked,dd7fbf4f8ab8126b

“Is it because of money?”a1704cbc1003c84f

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He wasn’t unaware of her feelings about refusing treatment. Cheon Sejoo himself was also accustomed to poverty in his childhood. It wasn’t difficult for him to understand the thoughts of those steeped in poverty.ec4da8cc1f014e07

What frightened those who had nothing wasn’t the approaching death. The situation of struggling to survive and ending up burdened with debt was more despairing to them than death itself.7ab57864483aa67e

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Moreover, since the doctor mentioned the size of the tumor and hinted at the possibility of cancer, Kim Hyunkyung couldn’t help but think about the days after she eventually died during treatment. Judging that Sejin wouldn’t be able to handle the medical expenses, she concluded that it would be better to just suffer and die. For her, death was better than poverty.b59db6327d3b2c42

“If that’s d61433a41b what you’re c61ecc1bd9 worried about, 54cb734199 Ehwagak will 7fb654c052 cover the 400b42b153 medical expenses a88411e3a6 as part 9020b14f1c of employee b2d1c35e19 benefits.”4ea62b0b269fd6c3

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Cheon Sejoo lied with a straight face. He didn’t want to burden her with the feeling of being indebted to him. Not only would it not help with her treatment, but if she was as stubborn as Sejin, there was a chance that she would stubbornly refuse treatment if he offered to help.2626a2fa74a78b65

“So, don’t worry about that….”383ac0da5717fd98

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“Mr. Cheon, do you think I’m a fool?”4cbb1a546644774d

However, Kim Hyunkyung wasn’t a child like Sejin. She knew too much to be fooled by a few words.550cd4b4309393c1

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Interrupting Cheon 0a99702152 Sejoo, she 9ab37dfc50 met his b59e9ef4d0 gaze and 28610d4bd2 opened her 809621b8b3 mouth.bed300a6d543b997

“I heard this is Korea University Hospital. I know that you pulled some strings to get me here. I know that, by the rules, I shouldn’t have even been able to leave the vicinity of Ehwagak. I know all of that. Other employees might be different, but those who entered Ehwagak because of debt have many restrictions on their actions. Work comes before treatment even when they’re sick, and do you know how many times I’ve heard there that it’s better not to get sick in the first place? So don’t tell me such ridiculous lies.”b30478a59bd8cf77

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“…….”78ad63472cf615b0

At Kim Hyunkyung’s bitter voice, Cheon Sejoo lowered his eyes.23fad54ce85701b7

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