PEN Vol 3 Ch. 8

Back at home, Sejin was waiting for him.

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After receiving a shockingly low score of 778 on his mock exams last March, Kwon Sejin had been enduring Cheon Sejoo’s relentless scolding about whether there was something wrong with his brain. Lately, he had been staying up late, studying hard to make up for it. Of course, being the shameless person he was, Sejin had the nerve to use that as an excuse to demand extra pay for his “night shift.”

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As Cheon Sejoo entered the house, he asked in a slow, slightly slurred voice.

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“You’re still up?”

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It was almost 11 PM, but the lights in the living room were still brightly lit.

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Perhaps because he was slightly drunk, Chen Sejoo wasn’t sure if Sejin had heard him as he remained bent over his workbook, not even turning around in response. Seeing his small head focused on his studies, Cheon Sejoo chuckled quietly to himself.

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It seemed not too long ago when Sejin had been slacking off and struggling to focus on a single problem, but now he was able to concentrate much better. Watching him studying so hard when he used to shout about why he had to study at all, Cheon Sejoo found it endearing. Suppressing the urge to hug Sejin tightly from behind, he headed toward the kitchen instead. After taking off his jacket and draping it over the chair, he grabbed a bottle of water to quench his dry throat.

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Now he could breathe a little easier. Having matched Ha Yeoreum’s drinking pace, someone who could hold her liquor even better than him, he had gone overboard.

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Feeling a bit dizzy, Cheon Sejoo briefly considered lighting a cigarette but set the lighter back down, knowing it would only make him feel worse. Instead, he headed to the living room, deciding to help Sejin with his studies before going to bed.

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“Kwon Sejin.”

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At the sound of his name, lazily called out, Sejin finally turned his head. His somewhat dazed eyes scanned over Cheon Sejoo’s softened expression.

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“How far did you get? Let me see.”

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“…”

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Cheon Sejoo, who had staggered over and plopped down on the floor, leaned in toward Sejin.

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It was late April, and Sejin frowned at Cheon Sejoo with disapproval. Cheon Sejoo had skipped dinner and returned home with the sweet scent of spring flowers clinging to him, along with a faint hint of perfume.

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Sitting on the sofa with a mechanical pencil in his hand, Sejin shifted away, moving his body to avoid Cheon Sejoo as he got closer. The bitter smell of wine mixed with lingering perfume made his stomach churn uncomfortably. For some reason he couldn’t quite understand, it also made him feel irritated.

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“You reek of alcohol. Get away from me.”

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Ignoring Sejin’s words, Cheon Sejoo leaned against him and glanced at his workbook.

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The English workbook was a complete mess. Sejin tried to cover it with his hand, but Cheon Sejoo was quicker. Furrowing his brow, Cheon Sejoo asked.

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“You… still don’t understand past participles?”

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The nagging was about to start. Cheon Sejoo was usually talkative when it came to studies and academics, but it was even worse when he is drunk. He had a knack for getting on people’s nerves. Sejin, who had no desire to listen to a drunkard’s lecture, pushed him in annoyance.

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“Ugh, just go away.”

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“What exactly is going on in that head of yours…”

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Of course, Cheon Sejoo didn’t budge. Even though Sejin had grown taller and was now only about 5 or 6 centimeters shorter than Cheon Sejoo, his slim, underdeveloped body without much muscle was no match for Cheon Sejoo in strength.

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Clicking his tongue, Cheon Sejoo reached out and ruffled Sejin’s hair. The soft strands became a messy tangle, and a fragrant scent of shampoo wafted up to him. He looked down at Sejin, who was now glaring at him with flushed cheeks, breathing heavily.

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This kid, who had once been such a troublesome, stubborn brat, has strangely been behaving and listening well these days. Whether it was with studying, cleaning, or cooking—everything he did, he did with effort and Cheon Sejoo found it adorable. Cheon Sejoo found himself wordlessly smiling as he scrutinized Sejin’s face, which had grown noticeably mature since the first time they’d met.

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Earlier that day, during their conversation, Yeoreum had filled Cheon Sejoo in on the lives of their university classmates. Some had already gotten married and become fathers, others had been forced to leave the medical field due to sudden accidents, while a few had moved overseas to start new lives.

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As Cheon Sejoo listened, he reflected on how much his own life had changed over the past five years. And suddenly, things he hadn’t noticed before became clear.

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Five years ago, Shin Gyoyeon had assigned Cheon Sejoo to Seok Yoonhyung at DG Headquarters, in the guise of “training” him. Under the head of Shin Gyeongju’s enforcer team, Seok Yoonhyung, Cheon Sejoo had endured through all kinds of humiliation. While the hospital was known for its rigid hierarchy, it was nothing compared to the brutality of the organization. Getting slapped across the face for not following orders was normal, and even the smallest mistake earned him insults and harsh ridicule.

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Cheon Sejoo learned how to fight by getting stabbed and cut by Seok Yoonhyung’s blade and it was during this time that he also mastered how to handle the scums who had lived on the bottom of society. In a world where survival of the fittest reigned, those who had been cast aside by society from a young age and lived by that order could only be controlled through power and authority.

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Within the organization, persuasion and care had no place. The men were beasts who couldn’t be tamed with kindness. In order to rise above them and meet Shin Gyoyeon’s expectations, Cheon Sejoo learned how to bend without breaking, and how to push himself up in front of others.

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The members of Cheon Sejoo’s disposal team had also gone through similar experiences. Gu Haewoong, Seo Jinyoung, Yoon Chuljoo, had all been beaten to a pulp by Cheon Sejoo at one point. The only person who bowed to him without resistance from the start was Moon Sunhyuk. Even when Cheon Sejoo pushed him aside, rose through the ranks, and took over as the head of the disposal team, Sunhyuk never once opposed him.

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During the process of adapting to the organization, Cheon Sejoo changed in many ways. And until now, he hadn’t realized it. He used to think he was simply acting the part of the man Shin Gyoyeon wanted him to be, but looking back now, he realized that wasn’t the case.

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He had changed.

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Though it wasn’t the path he had originally envisioned for himself, he had certainly been moving toward something.

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Time was fair; it passed for everyone, without exception.

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Cheon Sejoo wasn’t the only one who had changed.

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Cheon Sejoo looked at Sejin, who was glaring at him with sharp eyes. As he did, he recalled the first time they had met.

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On that day, when Cheon Sejoo had first seen Sejin in the hallway, he had thought of him as a child even more fragile than Hye-in. The way Sejin had curled up defensively, showing signs of wariness as he glared at him, had struck Cheon Sejoo as incredibly pitiful. However, after getting to know him, Sejin wasn’t as weak as he had seemed. On the contrary, he was stronger, tougher, and more unyielding than anyone.

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“How tall are you now?”

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“176.”

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At Cheon Sejoo’s sudden question, Sejin answered without hesitation.

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In just six months, he had grown 8 centimeters. Moreover, it wasn’t just his height that had changed—Sejin had grown in many ways. His face, which had once seemed so delicate and almost feminine, still retained its fine features, but now there was no mistaking that he was a man. His frame, once easily mistaken for that of a child, had become sturdier. Of course, compared to Cheon Sejoo, Sejin was still thin and small, but seeing his broadening shoulders and his large hands and feet, it was clear that Sejin’s growth wasn’t stopping anytime soon.

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“You’ve really grown a lot…”

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As Cheon Sejoo murmured to himself, Sejin stared at him with a blank expression.

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Cheon Sejoo couldn’t help but feel that even Sejin’s gaze had somehow changed. Sejin no longer resented him. He no longer harbored suspicion or guarded himself. Their relationship, too, had been continuously changing. Time was passing for Sejin as well, just as Sejoo’s had. Even though they were only walking together for a short while, Cheon Sejoo found comfort in being able to witness Kwon Sejin’s growth up close. A soft smile spread across his lips.

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“My sister…”

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He had drunk too much. Words he should not have said slipped out his mouth. But instead of stopping himself, Cheon Sejoo just laughed.

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It wasn’t his life that had stopped.

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It was Cheon Hye-in’s life that had been frozen, captured in a single photograph. For her, there was no more past, no more future. Cheon Sejoo had been merely staring at her last image, trapped in it.

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“I wish she could’ve grown up like you…”

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The alcohol had loosened the lock on his heart, allowing things that had long been buried inside began to spill out. Cheon Sejoo felt a lump rise in his chest as he thought to himself.

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If only it had been me.

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If only I had died in her place, it would have been better.

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If that had happened, he wouldn’t have to live this way, constantly disappointing Hye-in, and failing to live up to her expectations. He couldn’t shake the thought that Hye-in, had she lived, would have led a life far more meaningful than his own. Consumed by guilt that was gnawing at his heart, Cheon Sejoo lowered his head.

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His smooth forehead rested against Sejin’s shoulder.

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The shoulder that he had once thought was small before felt surprisingly firm and broad. For a moment, it was comforting to lean on. Breathing in Sejin’s warm, comforting scent, Cheon Sejoo gently closed his eyes and murmured as if he was proud of him.

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“You’ve grown so much, our Sejin…”

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“……”

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After those words, silence settled between them.

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Listening to Cheon Sejoo’s steady breathing, Sejin held his breath. His pale face flushed with warmth, his cheeks turning red as he froze in place, unsure of what to do. He should have pushed Cheon Sejoo away, told him to go to bed instead of rambling drunkenly, but his body refused to move.

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Why am I like this?

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His shoulder, where Cheon Sejoo’s forehead rested, felt as if it were on fire. But whether it was Sejoo who was hot, or himself, Sejin couldn’t tell.

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“Cheon Sejoo…”

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His small voice trembled slightly as he called out Cheon Sejoo’s name. Sejin felt his heart pounding in his chest as he raised his arm. His hand, resting on Sejoo’s back as he slept deeply, slid down gently and wrapped around his waist. Pulling Cheon Sejoo closer so that he could lean on him completely, Sejin swallowed hard.

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It was a strange feeling.

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He couldn’t explain where the desire came from, but he found himself wishing this moment would last a little longer.

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T/N: While I was rereading the past volume, there was a part that struck me.

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“Cheon Sejoo was projecting Sejin to Hye-in” just realized that this must be the reason why the title is “Projection” T-T

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