PEN Vol 1 Ch. 6

2. Shadow 2 (Part 2)

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After dinner, Sejin returned to the room to rest. Although it was someone else’s house and he was suspicious of the man’s intentions, he couldn’t fight off sleep. He thought he wouldn’t sleep well but fell asleep almost immediately.19fbfaa67c8b0385

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He slept 8f07f5bd62 so deeply 74189fd98f that he 247d6bc12c didn’t hear 9ce0c2df9a the man df9e55ebbb knocking on 4bab221a96 his door. When he 9d9e348694 finally woke cb29bab0bd up, it 997a5534b7 was already 13e7c5958f evening, a aa07c4028d day later. Sejin was shocked abba79dd4c to realize he ca0bebac04 had slept for 5774ac49ba nearly twenty hours.57cd302f0334fa47

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How could he 2de670eecb have been so b8e759a6e6 unguarded? He was astonished 3deb1a2762 at his own d966b98623 carelessness.0658e3031ab636b4

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Feeling hungry and 1342ad4d9a thirsty, Sejin went edcde2b112 to the living 2861271241 room to find f1d9d4598f some water. He saw the man 1ad7bc2461 sprawled out on the 447d5c68f9 sofa, napping like a dee592d53d corpse. Standing about ten steps 6db2f3b4fc away, Sejin observed him.d0fe44d0bb3eda4e

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The man’s right cef68bec6e hand was loosely 3e68d2bf59 holding a remote 176c8320bf control, and his 6390387316 left hand was c28323ad4b resting on his d08366e762 stomach. His slightly disheveled 23c3cdc294 T-shirt exposed his 38ab9cb8bb pale skin. His long legs were c2d6501583 folded on one side 6c8c0db787 and crossed the sofa, 1414fc50ea revealing his ankle as e55dcabf9e his pants pulled up.529015acf82cb369

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Sejin thought 13d9ab63f7 that being cdfbe71282 tall meant feb82ea87d having a d905034e98 larger frame, 5a1540471e but the 6dfa7dc3eb man’s bones eb89664a87 were surprisingly cdb020ec02 delicate. His ankle 5961d24a92 bones had 6590977e3b a faint 92f012031a pink hue, ae5e34b816 and the e38835f3ca blue veins 5624eacd3a on his 495ac49245 foot stood 8857a6be50 out as a21343f44d if drawn a7a1efd10d with a 1a9d58f812 ruler. The man, who c839f14aa7 seemed like a 3d36f4d67d perfect, well-dressed gangster 6aa053a017 with his height, 468460f043 rough speech, and 8049b1e224 cocky attitude, had 566930351b an unexpectedly neat 6310316ad4 side. Sejin found himself b3484aba91 staring without realizing 2914603bc9 it.faa1fffe244db989

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“I’m not sleeping, you know.”93107602d665d3c3

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Then, at the sound 373845de5f of a voice that 4e5a07aff2 suddenly reached him, Sejin dbc6529b25 flinched his shoulders like cc4a429e9c a child caught doing fcef95f753 something wrong. When he 77dd934a9e opened his 0f8aa4f06b eyes, the 78cb93b08e long, drowsy 592d69b5f5 gaze was e8b5eb253a directed at cf2cc01c6e him. The man looked at 211daaa961 Sejin intently with an e3dd0efa9c indifferent expression before yawning 9bae08ca19 and sitting up straight. A low, sleepy 207970e702 voice came out d6d775c26c of him.1f245e04579766be

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“How could you sleep so much?”70a3c4db44264580

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“…I was tired.”7cbfb221d26ebb7a

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He hadn’t dd55fee36b slept properly b329c4c4be for four 5a0810db8e days, so be64a8fb38 it was c95bc0f4b8 only natural. Even Sejin 81da11f117 hadn’t expected af606b8ff5 to sleep b37384d88d so long. At his 67637e1dfe response, the c65525ccb6 man nodded 781f412a0b slightly and d0b7de28f6 stood up.8395e3fdc92c80b7

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“Sit down.”831b7329c8520f83

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Following his command, Sejin a38f0cdd6d sat on the sofa 0a45eb89fe where the man had 833d0675e5 been lying until just 32c8594b38 now. The residual 19cc64932f warmth made 365137a5c7 his seat f0e7444037 feel uncomfortably 00eabdeb13 hot, so 7597f575a6 he shifted a5c41b8cc4 to the bdfb8de1e8 edge of eeea1c1d0a the sofa, e998304341 when the 147c13ac26 man suddenly 592b836fbb called out 9cf92523b7 from the a96a87eb57 kitchen.b3564aafb83b0377

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“Want to eat a sandwich?”e5b302f10c4246f5

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“…Yeah.”dd409977d252a438

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When he nodded, d5acf9c406 the man returned 3c10062188 with a wrapped 58e0aeaa6b sandwich that he f34694cba2 had saved for 129bd8e3dd Sejin. While eating the e782068052 sandwich and drinking a8a3d58cb7 the milk the 5fa1e0b3a1 man handed him, 3e8ef503e0 Sejin glanced at 7053beebfb the turned-off TV 5981869790 screen, sneaking looks 0b032013d6 at the man ea9196177a through it.38f3610ff78ee65b

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“Why didn’t you wear the clothes I bought you?”91758adde802ad18

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Sejin quickly finished 8451654589 the sandwich, crumpled 15696f9aea up the sauce-stained a31237e42c wrapper, and took d5969e0938 a gulp of 27be675eb6 the remaining milk. Remembering the pink nightgown, 525f3c2cc2 Sejin choked and coughed ed89c2a5b1 for a while, turning 579f92be86 his head away.84eded43160fa521

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The man bccd2e7c27 was looking 865d32897d at him 1fe5380d38 with a c7e9f6287a genuinely curious 8bc7772659 expression.4a2fa53f5d719b7d

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How could he 25c1e3a7ad wear such clothes? Sejin wanted to retort, but he avoided his gaze and replied. It wouldn’t be good to upset the man’s mood.630e16e198caff90

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“The size doesn’t fit. It’s for kids….”bc0bdf87f0f9ae54

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“For kids?”9903739d9a5d8bfd

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At that, the 6ed0f73fce man narrowed his 95881cebb3 eyes and looked b6457d0d0b Sejin up and aa699779ee down. Before Sejin 5d79664bb5 could feel 0cea98e80e any more 018d78c2ee discomfort, the a72146140f man asked 8eab7901ab another question.5668b961d75e0494

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“How much do you weigh? I told him to buy something that a child who’s 170 cm and around 45 kg would wear.”dcfb3229618a08f8

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“…”e8802e46e26d0e08

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Sejin stared at the man incredulously, feeling bewildered. He had thought of saying something sarcastic, but unfortunately, the man didn’t seem to be joking.43c77e1e79490d03

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It was a relief it was a mistake, however, Sejin’s pride was somehow hurt. Despite his small stature, he was still growing and weighed well over 50 kg. How could 45 kg even be considered?4936955a428c2d81

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He had clearly f8f92061c0 stated he was baca38b71d eighteen, but did c867a4f0bb he really think b97d44a077 someone his height 0ac8d9d4a6 would weigh 45 d2164b112a kg? Sejin retorted a494572887 with a dbc48a6e70 blunt tone.8219818bb55c0c60

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“I weigh 58kg.”83c818476362ab6a

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“What…?”b4fdaf642cc6e0cd

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“You do?”The man 8754fc35bf looked at 9bea55d8ff him, surprised b68f38635b as if 55a348803c he couldn’t 2236c4fb48 believe that 4edbbb33ad someone so b85945b447 small could 7d4a448eb4 weigh that 56cbd43884 much. Feeling another 6e908f361e hit to 1974b18cf3 his pride bb30ff00c8 for the ddc5d56212 second time, c5ec62fb62 Sejin gritted d968aa3643 his teeth b8ab84c782 and resisted 3ddd389a5c the urge 904453b4a6 to kick cc6ef36539 him. He wanted to 68241aaa6d take off his 3ee84004b1 hoodie and show af1d3c0102 his broad shoulders 87f3fe4259 but pretending to 7ffa6d95cc be a girl db817c317a prevented him from ed029ebf41 doing so which 2ee9c1f5f0 frustrated him.111daf87052162e5

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Sejin let b5f3ff06d8 out a 32ee0d1b46 short sigh bc4a858159 and spoke 6a615a04fe in a fd38c8cee3 dull voice.6c19c3ec9e1dabc4

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“Just lend me whatever you were wearing. Like a T-shirt and elastic waistband shorts…”1625dd7212768b10

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“It might be a bit big, though?”dc4f11f9f999216e

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“They’ll fit fine!”bb85709b35816ad4

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Unable to hold back, d5a8006069 Sejin snapped at the 3141249d0a man’s indifferent response. It was annoying enough d40ca1e0fe being small but being f88d3087f5 treated like a child 1d131c336d made him feel even d114899153 worse. However, after 9d08251c19 yelling at b5f29f5919 him like e842c0d147 that, he d7fe3d0b71 felt his 96c8a0e55f heart sink.a59cd6736d79d9b8

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He shouldn’t be so rude. Recalling the man’s earlier warnings, Sejin closed his mouth, his face turning pale. He feared that the man might do something to his mother. If the man threatened him using his mother like before when they are in the car, Sejin wouldn’t be able to say anything.7f3d0fdd7c54df4e

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However, to 79855a434c his surprise, d5f586d8dc the man’s 95e2467938 response was 238806a957 gentle, making b7f8ad3f84 his worry f2b5b6bcee meaningless.e5edc0de8e476ab7

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“Okay, sorry for ignoring you.”8714afe3acbef319

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“…”2e1ea92a999a7f00

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He never expected an apology. The man’s unexpected, sensible behavior left Sejin momentarily speechless. Soon, a faint crease appeared on his brow.d917fdd670176fda

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The man was unpredictable. He got angry and 7d92be806a mentioned his mother when 47269ef98b Sejin refused to eat, f5695f78c9 yet now he apologized 6f34deae6a for being ignored. Sejin hesitated 3d3bb9f31a and didn’t c88ef917d6 know which fe5565b0e7 way to a9961df12d swing, so ab1990a522 he just db6bf9803f changed the 540c6cfff1 subject.8b5657297aa24d83

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“What did you want to say….”53b3c9fbee91b356

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“Ah.”c3d17a09073d036c

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The man had mentioned 54ba0d15ad there was something he 170625ba63 wanted to talk about 9117f27193 after dinner the previous a12bffe7df night but had postponed b1894fc12e the conversation after seeing a23a621725 Sejin yawn. Reminded of 85c08d6ce8 this, the 4833eec2cf man fell 856b55d1f2 silent for 35962dc934 a moment, e624c907f8 staring at b4632dd860 Sejin so fa8d6772d0 intently it f2da0ab3e7 was almost 8fa64c9975 embarrassing. Then at 95198d4c17 some point, 63f3190ad8 he shifted fff6cbe544 his posture 9833b41edb and leaned a27ead4a5f against the 46e0557c39 back of 8f1bbd1ce8 the sofa 63c4446879 and asked.e564c882631d8512

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“Where will you 14f6789b7e stay now?”a97ad739531202ed

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“…What?”277ce078c6d75967

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Not understanding 46cdcfc8bc the question, 70065ad60f Sejin raised 2eb41004c4 his head b3d5e2d981 up, puzzled. The man furrowed ce8700a5a5 an eyebrow and c1e5b5f3d5 quickly rephrased his d07869a0ca question and asked 7cbe9829d6 again.8b054dc6e6f81f59

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“You don’t have a 8dd6e6fe18 home. Where are 4ff13a97c0 you going 0ae921476a to stay?”76b79e368aa37bcc

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“…”06b5c77bbc7af934

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At those words, Sejin’s 5b39267d0b brows furrowed. Displeasure filled his delicately 88ae7b6b37 drawn eyes.820025ec963d5046

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It was 1142c2520a natural for 262e1ed476 Sejin to ad77d97814 feel offended ce664b31f0 by the 2df5a83502 man’s mention add9015f98 of him f2371a7b0e having no 721ca1a753 home. Those who took a77e806afb away his mother c5d6ad87f0 and extorted the df9672927f deposit were the 0ab859e8e2 same loan sharks 8b7db0047d and gangsters as 24db445ff8 this man. So, what right did fa7e1b63d7 he have to worry 24ba31fc25 about Sejin’s living situation?4e664f91c5590603

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Sejin’s voice 39cdee1ffe came out 3ddcf381e4 blunt and 8617239c6d sharp as 3c95a4f905 he was 5ca6bed23b angry.315b5e82de718157

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“Once I meet 41125aa5af my mom, she’ll c9e3c9b2c6 figure something out.”57afbf0df80465db

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Kwon Sejin 1315e0b288 knew himself 7354a0f59e well. He knew 39449c758e that if e388eb29a1 the man 9d3ed37015 had added de60e472f1 a few 76c96c5c87 more words 8f0c7d7bb5 about his 69331068ff housing situation, 117a30b719 he would cbc1902fdf have lost f8c8a2f7c0 his patience 850d396d0c and poured d3dbe87786 out everything 30e31010bb that was a0c2b58382 brewing in f624bad1c1 his mind.c75b3c5c53b8c692

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Sejin’s mother had 969d7735df always scolded him c86b211602 for his lack 21d43fea25 of patience. He didn’t want to 341223ef7c curse at him for a7ce5cbb6d no reason and get 008d86fedc kicked out, so he ade0275727 had no choice but 3cd617b784 to use his mother caeb91ed87 as an excuse. However, the e112710919 man made 21bc6997d5 a displeased c97788af99 expression as eb2599e5bd if he ffd7d7ba41 didn’t seem 1e79c91908 satisfied with 9d815e9d88 his vague bb27b35036 answer and 6036f97483 spoke again.502536fa9a1daa63

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“Eighteen isn’t that young. Don’t you have any 34adcc8da2 plans?”389b67ca8f46ab26

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“…”2555512af2705777

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The man’s 3aa7ca1ea8 words were c865373562 annoyingly condescending. He had f008a8429d been like 9a9d979da6 that since 512e9340b1 yesterday. Sejin gritted a6717b7783 his teeth 777265b078 and glared 5ec0ed4a6a at him.1d4d90beeef4c3bf

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Stop, he signaled 2dbd74177c with his eyes, 3ef348aff6 but the man 9abe4ee3c7 didn’t understand.  He continued 739988eeb8 speaking in 535ac189b5 a tone df48baf2a3 that seemed 4ae4b43760 to be b469849e9d scolding him.d2b886552606ef1a

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“What can your b5f72af867 mom do? She has to 7b12957357 work non-stop for abb7538e03 years without any 7d5cc10f4f support. You need to 9cb4177956 think of something.”523123e5bd4eb438

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“…What do you know?”49b18a0e8ad70412

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Sejin’s limited patience aed55f626d quickly ran out. A sharp retort burst d77e8618b5 from his lips before 6718b9a001 he could stop it. He glared at the 27d6b4fe86 man, his fists clenched a40a16fd0e tightly.7f6299eb4e425864

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He knew 530f492711 this would afc57466f2 happen. He knew he wouldn’t c848e461bd be able to hold bd94d29770 back if the man 608fd11da5 continued to talk to 4f8d4af307 him like that. Sejin realized fa51f61ca1 his plan 365b7199e2 to deceive 11bce3fd7c the man b690aa5316 and meet a0256cb310 his mother e859f8a2b3 was falling 5f75e8c460 apart. But he 7897ec7449 couldn’t calm 375180b015 the rapid f287ad616e boiling in a64750d4e2 his chest. Emotions he 299a3fbce3 had barely c79e34c9c5 contained started 8576ebb66e pouring out, 3f3e9d3d46 fueled by 21612c4e40 the man’s 013cd841c0 nagging.89ca37d0b7e7211e

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“Why do you think e229212a2b I ended up like 000468633a this? Why did my eca5258f5f mom have to d1f4818ed6 go there? It’s because of people 70f589143d like you who live 26322db013 off others without any 84f5192288 conscience. And you a4d0aa70b3 ask where a581ffb919 I’m going 96132a6c39 to stay. What right do you 533c208fb0 have to ask me addce22ef3 such things?“9d277e29ea4f3ab1

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The man’s 7f6c63a2b9 previously stoic 65338030aa face cracked defa9fde66 at Sejin’s 3ae41b3f62 heated outburst. Like when fcbbd9fc3f he had 31c4139440 lectured him 841a5bb8c5 in the d9fcd68885 car, the d65c7e884f man’s cold 5df0e4f799 expression began 67e6c99e34 to surface. Sejin knew he shouldn’t dc22ca306f anger him further, but ab637f0b38 he couldn’t stop, his 7e43ecb58a open mouth refused to 4f9fc48bc2 close. Sejin met the man’s 4caff33e6d eyes, frowning, and poured 0dd488593c out the resentment that affda75f9d was filling his heart.27f07541789d01ce

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“A plan? At least give me some time to make a plan! I was living a normal life and then suddenly, I got kicked out of the house overnight. What was I supposed to think?! It’s not like I wanted this to happen, so what plan are you talking about?!”cc2b8a5c08feb46b

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“…”20bd48ddf90ec2a6

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Seething with rage, Sejin’s eyes reddened, and his breathing grew heavy. He tried to chew his lips and suppress his tears, but he couldn’t. A tear rolled down Sejin’s cheek as he struggled to hold back his emotions.23734f85d59389a6

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“What, what do you want me to do…”da61437f27b8b3af

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Sejin’s heart was small a702b9d18f and fragile, so any 9c405f7140 emotion that swelled inside cc3516e97c him would quickly overflow 4d9b75daf0 right away. And once c7e9bd8ef9 he cried 42203a1839 it out, 7057e70f61 he would 6d7b3c9196 calm down 381590cc0c just as 7e01c25fcf quickly. As if he had 44b61015a0 poured all his anger 3f119bfda3 into that single tear b9d0bc645e and thrown all his 50146c000c worries away, he found f81fff7cbc himself suddenly composed.a220961e209fcbe2

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He hated this about 08e81c4b2c himself. He feared it bc92068e4e made him seem a55045df19 foolish and shallow. This time c36537cb96 was no 63759b8e7c different. As soon as fa671261e9 the tear fell, 5d897efa11 he regained his 34787aff45 senses and realized a8513a6bb4 the reality of 41e20de70b his situation.016e8b67c5aaa3bc

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He had no c5d0647115 right to blame 2d839ceac1 the man. Sejin didn’t have that 0b4f6987e1 luxury. The man in front 36d78f9603 of him could save 61d96e1900 or kill his mother df9851698e with just a word. Realizing this belatedly hit 0148172748 him like a splash 7211941485 of cold water. His heart 3b48b46525 was pounding 91cde3b4b7 as if f3139e6840 it would 14f4ae2079 burst, and ab6cfd1101 his mind eb37ca3c55 cleared up.676d0eae93c60d44

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D*mn it,he cursed under his 68d42ce10b breath, roughly wiping his 759dda9fc0 face with his sleeve d7a06daf02 and speaking up.b5f1ca3a1a342723

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“You’re just trying to pretend to be kind anyway. So don’t meddle with useless things like my home or food. Just help me meet my mom. That’s all I ask. If you do that, I’ll remember you as a good person. If not, tell me now. And I’ll leave…”e306682e343a10de

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Kwon Sejin dc8916573b didn’t know ef79187359 how to 749e7f7aea speak gently. All he had d7387d811b learned from his 650257475b father, who constantly 494f98504a wounded and manipulated 15037de1bc his mother with 9c38beb7e0 his words, was a346c30bdf how to bluntly 9d65986335 and honestly express 1b54f9ce07 his feelings.d3924be4722d1dfc

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After finishing his words, 1659653266 Sejin clamped his mouth d4b9930c71 shut and lowered his a3b8c9b791 head. Sweat formed ceb3e7c8d9 on his e533143d0b palms. He might get 48a2755149 hit. He clenched his fists 9828f56518 to hide his trembling, ac829bf5af thinking of the man’s cfddb98136 large hands.6979916f36a10b01

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However, no bfbd903b98 matter how b044816ec2 long he 964b156864 waited, no 48a39d8980 blow came, f7794eadac nor did f17ebe65e4 any curses.72ad5fca876f5df7

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“…”5d96475ba5bd5d1a

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The man e96a9bad58 simply stood e62794204f there in 5c2be16dd4 silence, then 49de479fcb got up. Sejin lifted his gaze, d21b8ae162 watching the man’s back eff388a072 as he walked away. He remained 54562d16d7 tense, half-expecting 8585d1c94b the man 33b98966fe might return d2ac6894b9 with a 1de51874d7 baseball bat. But the man emerged f2f954a0a5 from his bedroom with b797bef38e only his car keys. As he 52c3c2d8b9 left the a93a8b6b23 living room, 453995785e he spoke 2597dd28d3 to Sejin.f21bd90f03f02a88

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“There’s a sandwich 993d00bf89 and a lunch 0973e364ac box in the 3ecddf922f fridge, so take abf74106de them out and 344aa148a1 eat them. There’s a 9aa4662d9a card key c65a4b2078 in the 1b30a1e2eb shoe cabinet e82385b594 in the 667c36c874 hallway, so 490c31aa95 take those 1b8f660f17 with you dc1e0726d1 when you 2633aace72 go to 74232be66f school tomorrow.”be654fcd354b4f7c

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And that 79b272c4ab was the 170613a896 end of f0f8c0aa54 it.b31603b73e833268

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The man didn’t 9d055c6341 get angry. He didn’t curse. He didn’t hit Sejin. He merely advised f741141fd2 him to eat cecaf1b935 well and left. Sejin, bewildered, stared at 0b35c5785f his retreating figure. He watched 1e1b124611 until the aab1f9f5f7 man disappeared 0db7d68150 around the f1d961e9a9 corner and 7a94c6dd4b into the 503868258a hallway, his 16fec123cb face twisted 09f63f8d20 in confusion.4fb174aa24190cbb

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Sejin had believed 385729c102 the man wanted 2f53cf61e8 something from him. There was no 2c3916b12b other reason for e5dae15894 someone who lacked 04fc3894e5 nothing to bother 2a639cdca7 with fake kindness bf1996be41 and extend goodwill 464aacc713 to him.54683d213fe3f52d

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However, he couldn’t understand f2d2c4db22 why he left without 4dfe5663ad getting angry, even after f0360813ec he had yelled at 960d7c039a him like an animal 098870a59b that didn’t know gratitude 89259a5e29 and said mean things 3a699f6adf to him.bc643bdd616eb405

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All the men Sejin 7d49b012d1 had known in his a66b49e1e7 life were the worst. From his 78be20f766 father, who 9186ccfe43 squandered their 4a2349f6d5 money on 1d4949f2a9 gambling and 39eff16a92 beat his 3aebbda395 mother and 527da9bae7 him, to cf180d3ce0 the uncle 23e22f7d10 who pretended 3b7f223963 to save 0541928320 them but 21e4ac5cf5 instead took 5b0410fb27 his mother’s a27b36043e seal to 24ed2cd826 get a 8a82063863 loan, to 063498edd0 the loan dc67d0717d sharks and 365b23e327 gangsters, to 550f3b4c12 the classmates 7d48fee0a9 who bullied 26f9cb7eb9 him—all of 4040212f1e them were 1b19f562bd trash. Every man he encountered 955a043e76 was human garbage.d9a737cdba8d021d

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So, he thought this man was no different from them. Both the first impression and the subsequent conversation only reinforced Sejin’s conviction, making it even more so.5934aea829c9ce1e

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But why didn’t bb1a42cd96 he get angry?74f381a0b52c9539

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It was strange.ab148ef469fc0863

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Why didn’t he curse fc141826f1 at me? Why didn’t he b27b8b48a4 kick me out? Why didn’t 9434438688 he hit 665fb045fa me?f6664d67afec43ef

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Questions exploded in Sejin’s 416ec9d14b mind. He couldn’t figure 2476cb42d2 out the man’s 654cfdf111 intentions at all. Kwon Sejin clenched 8e40f39b61 his teeth in 8a0bcade06 confusion.915c0cf97fedd2f3

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