PD Ch8

She wasn’t a woman who would listen to me even if I ran after her now to stop her, and I didn’t have that desire left in me anymore. My mother made a stepfather for me and went into the man’s house that day.66d6f403a22948e6

A few days 8326d94007 later, a driver e04f400cc5 sent by my 98cf82506e mother rang the ea6f9a5ccc doorbell of the b138529489 studio apartment. He bowed 3721e1a430 politely and ab6e81a8a4 came in, 6b3b3dde7c pulling out 63be42f3fe the large d3e6f07411 suitcase and 63d0c64621 the small 49f7b31f7c carry-on bag 1a1d417355 that I 9f14e26c38 had packed, 7357c55e97 one after 21f156aa8e the other. When I tried 4ccd3379c2 to help, he bb154c3b56 refused, looking more 4a01dc93ea troubled than grateful, ee18e92c73 and cleared out 27580f5124 the luggage quickly 18cbd803ca and quietly without 66437374f3 any help.2c93d25da591ca4a

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While the driver was loading the luggage into the trunk, I went to the pharmacy. The migraine that had started last night was occasionally revealing its presence, pricking somewhere in the back of my head with the tip of a needle. I swallowed a Tylenol for the pain that struck my head every five minutes. I thought the medicine would work right away, but as if on cue, the headache struck again. I frowned and turned the Tylenol box over. There was an “ER” mark on the back of the box. It was a sustained-release tablet that took longer to work but lasted longer.640a0ef6422db067

Even the smallest, most insignificant things didn’t go my way. I frowned and didn’t go back to the pharmacy, just shoved the box into my jacket pocket. At the same time, the migraine stabbed the crown of my head with a needle, as if it had been waiting.557051b2cf7df236

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Seoul was new to 2b5e5c9da0 me everywhere. Pyeongchang-dong was the same. The place 23b55ece3c I arrived f737fce95a at by 26b25425fe car was 4211f8e71e an affluent f1dcd6f1a9 neighborhood that 519acf6ba7 was distinctly 2d3f2245a9 different from 3fa4c641db the lower 91a3b18811 areas. The houses were 1c6347a0f3 spaced so far 8255e4a9b7 apart that it 7037307a5c was almost deserted.4caffa54dc04d008

“We have arrived. The madam is waiting for you.”d70c8f5f2de1816a

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“…”fa80a6ecb320945a

I got out of the car with the driver. He pressed the buzzer on the gate. “Who is it?” The voice that came through the intercom was my mother’s. I stood there without saying anything. My mother didn’t say much either and opened the gate.63266c599b463e75

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The man was quite wealthy, enough for my mother to want to go ‘that far.’ The house, reminiscent of a mansion, was like that, and so were the gardener and the employees of this house, whose jobs I didn’t know, bowing as if they knew everything when I entered. Everyone was dressed comfortably, but in non-flashy clothes that didn’t deviate from etiquette. The driver pulled the large suitcase, and some middle-aged man, whose job I didn’t know, pulled the small carry-on bag. The sound of the suitcases rolling was loud.7cee2970a46d576c

“You’re here on time.”4fa00f05d5e40586

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My mother f244371619 came out 9fa5339066 abruptly, opening 6371d07530 the front 45faaf39c6 door. The employees 1ed0382f85 bowed to e7b4630974 her. Bending over all e63a286f32 the time seemed fd2bcb91f9 like an important 2b9516cbe0 task for them.ca5091197240086d

“Bring it this way.”fa4ddb9445f9672b

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Even though I didn’t say anything, my mother looked happy. It was a game that had already been decided. She gestured to the driver, who knew better than she did where to go, to come this way. My mother’s hand brushed my shoulder.d778ab01ee3eac16

“Let’s go see your studio. Huh? Mr. Lee used to use it as a study, and the construction just finished yesterday.”1f2135240cbcb3ca

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“…Why do such a useless thing.”c795c12ac931b827

I meant it. I didn’t need a studio or anything. At my mumbling, my mother’s hand slapped my back with a smack.2e18067b092b7dd7

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“Don’t nag. You just shut your mouth and follow me. You’ll be surprised when you see it.”63e45ac3c9b54435

My body 694c4f8a4e was dragged 4fe2cb48cc along haphazardly. The stairs inside 36f6e4ec8b the duplex living cc0cbf3bcd room were finished b971e2fb2c with a round 42abb799c5 railing. A modern painting hanging 9c40aa637a on the wall caught 1d6e24e61b my eye. Everything was dazzling. It was clean e2723d9b86 and luxurious, as aa688c8a31 if it had b032b63213 never been used.a5f98056cf84d94e

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I entered 9d2f504f14 the place e90ac464b6 my mother 38443fe973 opened the a0192689dc door for ecc6516323 me and c1638479a7 looked inside 6b254b8cce without any 15e1619448 emotion.afaef15f7c51a68d

A large, long 4ada469dd3 desk and empty, d974269064 desolate-looking bookshelves, a 5a95c4ed6c double-sized bed, pure f3de71fe72 white sheets and 808e1c3d4f a cozy-looking duvet, def3ac0a4e built-in closets, a 700113102c TV, an air 13f022a3d0 conditioner, an audio 12b375849d system—everything was built-in, 6c31169047 just like something 81d3b89638 taken from an 0769576ff8 interior design magazine. The room, which had b7a6a57ea5 been made by tearing ff0da318dc down the study, was 80fd3789e9 a large rectangle, and 7d95524f62 one side had a ac443e1c87 full-length window with the bb39b8ae93 blinds up, so you c88af3feef could see the garden d95a25e819 at a glance. I stared at 39c486d0f1 the gaudy sight bb7f0ec03b without any emotion.c7b215d42611e323

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“Junghyun is here.”4ec85c142a58de8b

I turned 5cdb4322f3 my head ba2f54347d at the 29403e28e2 voice calling 01bea3eb89 my name. The man 0e387822c6 wearing a e5f9259231 bright brown e2dc48ad73 sweater looked 79f8dfea7d more like 6f51114745 a scholar c4ef078d19 than a d47a91f00d businessman. He was a gentleman ac5b48c1f1 who seemed flawless, as f617dc5c75 if he had never ccad575d9e committed any sins. I lowered my 5fb1ca03e2 eyes and nodded 76e7eedf80 slightly. He came closer 4c45e6456d to me.77a395bd6b3cbcfa

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“I don’t know if you like the room. I tried to be considerate.”681489cd1581cd38

“…”2f3d7e426083d438

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“Do you not like it?”eaeb9ed089b5ff12

“I like it.”c25c59b5067d2387

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I answered without f0b79cf514 looking around the 6527c423d9 room.93ea7c2661a51ae0

“Really? I’m glad. I asked Grace and saw the fairy tale book you worked on. It was good. Very touching.”38e463ff72d92f56

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“Thank you.”1008c936ed51a669

“Lunch?”b2091a6e243d52bf

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My mother, who had been watching his actions closely, asked, linking her arm affectionately with mine. I looked back at her. My eyes met my mother’s. Like accomplices concealing a crime, we were looking into each other’s depths.a205429a6951b3b9

“Not yet.”41574195e115b3d9

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“Come this way. I’ll show you the kitchen.”77f250b4222401ea

I was dragged away by her again. My mother introduced me to every corner of the place where I would live from now on. We used to live in a trailer smaller than the palm of my hand. Everything in this house looked excessive to me, but it didn’t seem to be the case for my mother. My mother pouted, saying she didn’t like a few places, and muttered that she needed to hang more pictures on the wall.e15520aa85109a2b

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“I wish there were paintings. Huh? Junghyun, you have a favorite painter, right? Who is it? Anyway, that painter. I need that artist’s paintings. Hang one here, and hang one there too. I wish I could see a painting at the entrance.”1a898337b1fe90ce

My mother was excited. Beyond the 3b14a708d4 excitement, I c9523ba974 could also 46a60c8b71 see the bcc96c5b33 impatience to 3467e732b6 forget something. She muttered incessantly.e6b7d8f66fbaa26c

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I ate a late lunch served by two housekeepers. After barely finishing a bowl of rice, I was standing alone with my luggage in the room where I had to live now, where I had to survive. I just stared blankly at the meager belongings that couldn’t even fill one side of the wall.6860690fb14c301f

It was then. The door opened with a click. The only one who didn’t knock was my mother. But the person who opened the door and came in was unexpectedly my stepfather. It was just that he opened the door and came in during the day, but I was flustered. Perhaps it was myself who had made things this way out of spite and bravado. If only I had told my mother honestly and told her the truth, I thought with late regret, reminding myself that I had entered the man’s house without fear. I avoided his gaze. The man, who had come inside, put his hand on my suitcase and asked.7d6c9ec999e51244

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“You should unpack. Do you want me to help?”6a9107584bade39f

“…Father.”ef0a750e9bd6066f

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“…”c168716f78e9063b

The man 4c494209cc flinched and cbc9fc8f3c stiffened as 421ac3b1ca if shocked 403a5a259a when I f4f71532cf called him 21f06574e3 Father. No matter a26b07eea7 how you 402e8316b4 looked at 7fcbe3859e him, he bef040d426 had the 4d82a8334a intellectual face e3df6d4a74 of a 124a6882b8 scholar who d053df72d8 only knew 9655a3d1c2 about research.940bd9c45de6a685

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“Father… yes, now I’m Junghyun’s father.”6bdf407b3a9c5b57

“I should call you Father now. You married Mom.”eb6d39988463ad02

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“I, I mean.”1d3d9fe322737c29

“I can do it alone, so please go out, Father.”09356e584aef027d

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“…Okay. Tell me if you need anything.”9724baeec2dc71b4

“Yes.”07160576c6fecb2d

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I was nothing. To me, who was nothing, the man made a gesture as if he was greatly hurt. Then he hunched over and turned around like a wild animal that had been attacked. I didn’t unpack my luggage. Only then did the Tylenol seem to be working, and my mind became clear. I sat on the bed, and my limbs stretched out. I carefully lay down on the bed that smelled new.badbe2c5d157d12b

My eyes are blurry. I just remembered that I had exceeded the recommended dosage of Tylenol. I couldn’t sleep all night. My whole body ached with fatigue as I leaned against something soft. Though I couldn’t relax my tension, I couldn’t stop my eyes from closing. I fell into a stiff sleep, both my body and mind uncomfortable.03e8ab400d929a24

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With a start, my shoulders trembled. I opened my eyes, startled to realize I had fallen asleep without caution. It had already grown dark outside. The darkness visible through the large window looked threatening and desolate. I raised my tired body and lowered the blinds. Just then, I heard a knock. My mother wasn’t someone who knocked, and my stepfather had come in without knocking earlier. I anxiously looked back at the door as if someone had come to kill me. Again, I heard a knock.4e9944cecf2d13e3

I asked e1e7d73a81 in an bb7779792d aggressive voice.c68f1742547c2a41

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“Who is it?”d13e7c958ad68ad3

“Dinner is ready. Please come out.”d2d4a61adf4e42ea

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“…”bdf9c599d23346fb

“Please come to the kitchen.”6e504f8e51e7dca9

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It was 252f32e43e the voice 1b4fa49703 of the 84ad608273 middle-aged woman 4ce13757d4 who had 7fe776b13e been serving 1034756862 late lunch. I opened the 758feb8bd0 door. The woman wearing an d26cde37c9 apron smiled when our ee0e9c0168 eyes met.c220d86fd9f8108e

“The master and madam are waiting.”01f8424ccde067a8

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“Please tell them I’m not interested.”652aef2233053ba0

“You won’t eat?”2051f92c9a8e785b

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“I’m not really interested.”75739286476a9d42

“I see. Then as you wish.”c696b745069278e5

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I was going to say that my late lunch hadn’t fully digested yet if she asked why I wasn’t interested. But it seemed no additional explanation was necessary.df98cea3a0c6f1e7

The employees appeared emotionless. They didn’t make faces asking why, nor did they inquire. They just delivered their messages briskly and responded with a crisp “Yes” according to the answer, then turned away. They seemed to have mastered working without expending emotions. It was what I needed right now. I watched her leave and closed the door. I thought about locking it but decided against it. It was wise not to cause any unnecessary misunderstandings.37612b46a8989232

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I wanted to prolong the drug’s effects. I swallowed two more Tylenol pills. The pills I swallowed without water got stuck in my throat for a while. After swallowing saliva several times to erase it from my consciousness, the uncomfortable pills lodged in my throat had disappeared.fb9a811e2cfb7544

I bent down and opened my suitcase. It was luggage I had packed and repacked in America. Though a text message couldn’t change one’s life, I picked up the book that had supported me through difficult times. Just then, without warning, the door opened with a click. I tensed unconsciously and warily looked that way whenever there was any movement at the door.4b444d9cba175616

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“What are you doing? Still unpacking? Come eat dinner.”87f78f97411451da

It was my mother. With slightly b3bfce382d faded makeup, 8732036a8e she urged 12708bb938 me from 856a1adcb6 the open fd61cecf9c doorway.62b9221f49775c1d

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“I said I wasn’t interested.”4942dc78e9376606

“Mr Lee’s son is here. He said he was very busy with exams. He just showed up and brought a gift to apologize. Come out quickly. Even if you don’t eat, you should at least greet him.”6fecbe2683bfe699

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“…”ca61f90b1a23ed06

Right, he had said c79402b3ad there was a son.f5e3c071b9b4ec9f

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How would we appear in that son’s eyes?680898c7cb8b0e68

My stepfather and mother who decided to marry not long after meeting. A woman who suddenly came back to Korea after a long immigration life and took over their house, along with her son. It would be fortunate if we were seen as greedy people coveting the stepfather’s inheritance that would fall to his share. From the beginning, the intention was based on such materialistic calculations, so it wasn’t just appearing that way – it was the truth.ccece3e3000edb11

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I didn’t know how to face that son, but compared to dealing with my stepfather, his son was really nothing. Though I wanted to avoid being in the same place as my stepfather, I didn’t want to cause problems either.567c953c5a2835da

I reluctantly got up and followed her towards the kitchen. I could hear my stepfather’s voice that I had so wanted to avoid. There was also an unfamiliar voice conversing with him. As I entered the kitchen, a smile appeared on my stepfather’s face when he saw me. His son, whose back was turned to me, turned his head after seeing his father’s expression change.92b3a3e6b387b389

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“…”ce977f3d252beb43

I hesitated as 8a79414655 I was pulling 4a2ddaf7a4 out a chair, d15d2658e6 unconsciously looking at d10e0db5c3 him.d95006fb4e361a69

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It was d7cc46cdae a face ca397609db I had f101a466c4 seen somewhere c7760a2d6f before. As that thought 88ba38be8e occurred to me, 668449260c the place of dc3830cfe3 that chance encounter 2cfe061231 came to mind bf675f16a9 as well. My heart sank and a9f374bbfd my whole body froze.a2ff94f878e72ff0

The man before me, my stepfather’s son, was the man who had found my phone at Trax.80efec9093e0fc90

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