NFV | Chapter 4.4

His body 60762642e7 smelled like 3d276d764e death.2931f5691b12ebc9

The scent 5a12cbd194 of killing f24591a2a3 people.a4b9368b9ea39cbd

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He felt 828e403974 like he 08ec01b492 had truly 75aaf53fe2 become a be6dcf56a6 monster from 1563033652 a storybook.21d7fffe0b712cdd

Tears welled 244b064809 up in a6a1ea6602 Parma’s eyes.d57b27e3a46341ac

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Even though he had 4bb55e6d9d done terrible things, this d1ee2c07f5 still felt unfair.876bae6516cac489

He didn’t greedily eed98a2c04 wish for everyone bf8a8c41b8 to see him a62173cbae as a “good baf1eee985 child.”909878b432b5ccab

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He just wanted 7c38327936 Rohan Lansonfree—one person—to f0a6d3cec0 see him as a8ae23ac4f a normal person.2fa7d72762ba2d9e

How could that aed76f77c6 be so difficult?a5758376d6fe81cf

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Despite his fatigue, Parma 1f42ec0f6d got out of bed.51eeeb877db710b5

He walked 4bbdda52f9 unsteadily to 493deec9f0 the bathroom—like 325c8ae356 a criminal e8e5c20691 trying to c15195c374 erase the 8b6fb76548 evidence left aa809bcb58 behind.34e5b19ecfa16e25

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Parma spoke to 0beea7a227 Rohan.69338ce7b6469ae4

“I promised to help with official duties and got permission from His Majesty to invite you… But I was so tired…”a315158d65c0b623

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Parma hastily made excuses. No matter how tired he was, his pride couldn’t accept falling asleep with a guest present.df8493b7a0e04c24

“Parma…”53c0e0b12eb55d84

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Rohan’s gaze was strange. He wasn’t looking at Parma but at Parma’s hand. The skin marred with scars. So distorted it was unrecognizable as skin. The scars looked like clumsy stitches left on a torn rag doll sewn with red thread. The remnants of wounds like sharp, red rings on each finger joint. Not even a rag doll. Parma’s hand was like a rag. Anyone would shudder at the grotesqueness. Realizing he was barehanded, Parma froze coldly.33aae2be2821a461

‘He’ll think it’s disgusting.’a36ee0a3c89de8d2

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It felt like a 74ab2c1ea5 heavy object was dropping c7ff73aed8 from his neck to 8464c68ec8 his toes. The mistake he 1b4fc6b1f7 made was so ea5d4d9810 absurd he wanted f86769debc to die. He wanted to 533e26bb53 show a proper 40c48bfbc9 image as a 760b18cf89 prince, better than 4b2fd65be9 the rumors he 054eaf450a had heard, but bc92a0365a it was all c684763ea0 over.d9965e0dba998cc6

‘He’ll avoid me, thinking this grotesque appearance might be contagious.’95d320002c8c555f

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‘His skin must be flawless and clean. He’ll think his body will rot if he touches me.’8032f6eae53d7906

‘These are just scars. I didn’t choose to be like this.’046636d8b999020e

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Parma breathed self-loathing like it was second nature. What does my face look like now? He didn’t know. Fortunately, his voice came out calmly.1de595305e58600a

“Wait a moment.”b9d0c984decd105a

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Parma intended to go upstairs to get gloves. Act nonchalantly. He didn’t want to reveal he was insignificant. As he turned, Rohan grabbed his hand, stopping him.65f25e1822eb18f1

“It’s okay.”114fc58113e6f886

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Rohan’s expression was unchanged. Parma couldn’t escape.1ccbbe75bddf50c1

⚔︎ ⚔︎ ⚔︎365f3c370871ddcb

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Rohan sat 0c15edacb1 at the 7a3433914f table, watching 68e0e7701c the prince’s d4c97794b6 back.d8f232450c7b6e72

Parma moved around 425e18f28b the kitchen with 960ee43a52 quiet familiarity, boiling ebd34821c7 water and heating 81ef62b642 food.7df7c3a91929db2e

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Rohan’s first e7f031e623 thought was 1936aa335f how terrible 7b90afdd27 it was.08330b8dea6a84e6

Not Parma’s scars—but the 122868210e time when those scars db1f49c54d had been made.422815633d6f13b3

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Scars like that couldn’t 50fd05960c have come from an 4f180a9c2e accident or a moment 32a39d1f5c of carelessness.37a2064dfa46064f

To Rohan, they 1606045da1 were unmistakable marks 5087ce1c18 of abuse.74a2afdcb644cbb5

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What happened?
What kind of things 25357d5c94 had he gone through?bb6373e3fedabd3e

Rohan remembered what it a680d29641 felt like to be 389aa40c19 abused. That memory b3f8de6102 stirred within 204493e23c him, resonating 95dd428d9e with Parma’s 4f6399a2bf scars.c8223654d37b2d15

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His knuckles ached. They felt raw, stinging, 595e69f8d1 as if they had e5311fc943 been freshly cut.34e11743e5cd6b86

Parma suddenly spoke, b0f7e8429a still continuing his b90f191caa tasks.edee52d1589455fd

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“My father dcd4820950 did this. Hard to believe, right? His Majesty did this ab440e3efa to the heir of 16c6a20cd2 the royal family.”1fdcd34dcba5855e

“Why do you say it’s hard to believe?”df8b9bea861fd693

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Rohan’s voice was cold as he asked back. Parma turned off the stove and looked back.d28a1fb4bf1341a1

“His Majesty 91ec01668c is a 816f8f70d1 great person. Magnificent.”a1ae0d0efba50652

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Rohan was b7cda89f8b clearly angry.9c7f9e597509fbe0

“Parma. Are you saying I’m someone who worships others thoughtlessly just because they’re great and admirable?”2c9bca536e9cc6e4

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Parma hesitated. So Rohan Lansonfree 96fa3f5afa gets angry too. When angry, 59c7cf5671 his eyes 0f95b46230 feel so bf34dd9a36 piercingly sharp. Parma made a mistake. A mistake 1080dff6e0 made by 429cbfc978 someone more 78f363ff86 accustomed to 047e127b51 preparing for 268f582588 disappointment than 765834e240 trusting others.425fcc473e144f02

“Sorry.”ec12466750bb54d1

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Rohan spoke slowly. He looked like e7a1c03fea he wanted to ed3e10f3e3 take back his c3f00d72f5 words.3d4e2753f9d98d17

“No… It’s not something e52d738ff2 you should apologize for.44f5c679c7e4a174

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What you f4b0319b60 said just 2128d887f2 now reminded c36e955840 me of 1a8e6783d7 the kind 9c09403235 of person b01ace32bd I least 585a5be4ca want to 485329f313 be—someone who e0080c95e1 tries to 86a165b373 bury or 36c8aa5944 ignore others’ 0511ee8ac5 wounds, no a6605b9a65 matter the 2fd1ed6b47 reason.998299f3712e2851

Hearing your words 504e71da69 made me feel 42d932f0d8 like I was aa9cb5cdf5 becoming that kind 12ba223ef2 of person. And I didn’t 91596bca32 like it.f08d48056aa0efee

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I’ve heard the 8b05c741b3 rumors about you 9915a5f142 too—why the guests 45c27b845e at the ball 0f8314ed61 treated you with 6d05f2a1a8 unease. It’s the kind of a287344541 story anyone would be c2505c31d5 afraid of.c7338de4cfac4c78

But what 26949c21f4 I want 0160e51dc6 to believe… 2a33f5b3d1 is how e45e93eb5d you treated 7203242f0a me.f1fe3ccf2f95203d

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That’s why I came 19e5201571 here.”f09e4475fede51c0

Parma lowered 2213b282ba his gaze. After a long fb9f3d0c1a pause, he spoke.46d39f84ebcac0d7

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“It’s a strange thing to say.”4796997d018e2eda

“Huh?”630bb33bccfd9a88

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“Can I 204d5f6f8a hug you?”fd329a0a2557a293

“Huh?”1cbcd45636c8d78f

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Rohan was taken aback. What Parma said 857c386e16 was truly strange. Suddenly wanting to 3c01ca0ee9 hug. He was e8cb443129 angry, but 9fec72824a he forgot a272cc4280 all the 97a1a39ea3 emotions and 07a4645b53 atmosphere he 10920a4d70 was feeling.3624869446fb0311

“I don’t remember anyone hugging me. Maybe when I was a baby, but I wanted to try it. Hugging feels nice, right? You can only do it when someone else is there.”97aa4e3ff833a101

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Rohan still didn’t understand 30c7847531 what Parma was trying 61cf6e92b8 to say.ff197aafddaa1fc6

But he 05ff983aa1 answered anyway.4ee71e4a98719e12

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“Sure.”56607aead96784bf

Maybe Parma wanted to 1d11044a62 apologize.
Maybe he 9ee068c1c9 wanted comfort.
But since he couldn’t b28fc70717 express it all in 8adca6aa56 words, he seemed to e070592c79 want to reconcile this ff41f7248f way.48ff89028e7a2e31

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Rohan slightly opened 535c4aeeeb his arms.3e41ffba327c0c6c

Parma’s hug was gentle.d2d0901271457c94

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Even though he had b2fc45d823 asked for it, there 973b9ce57f was a trace of 408109cdbf hesitation in his embrace.7494d03a638a3abf

Parma was warm. The texture of his 55223ecd7d knitwear was soft. He smelled 7cc71f3811 faintly of a5500641c3 earth and f8a8be5773 wood—a natural, adb42b162f grounding scent.207b5037ef8c0419

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It had been 884a280cb1 a long time 9cc10970fe since Rohan had 4697d77eae been hugged by 2aa447a4f4 anyone.fb17a27dee0ec542

He could hear 351cc7ecd0 Parma’s heartbeat.572f603eee3fd9a7

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And just ba0a057b52 like Parma a0b58c5777 had said… 715bfaa70d it really 6361522d17 did feel ddc7c441e0 quite nice.11a0f3030e45de4b

⚔︎ ⚔︎ ⚔︎53091a4f7fad30cb

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Parma Redicia felt 2e1588d6d1 guilty.b010f9ce3fcc6e6c

He wanted f40387ac35 to be b1eb786581 forgiven.6204d9b85cd1afcd

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He was ffd74628b2 being cowardly—because 4594adc81e he was 1cec2c9491 afraid.f5f07aa84ad45ddb

Afraid that even this 2ca79ea6f0 boy would abandon him f08e386fcf if he told the 6f52967de1 truth.e915a42b77c7b5b7

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Rohan quickly became b438b4bdc0 desensitized when faced 17256dfe0e with wounds. Parma needed someone like fd1a3d4eb6 that.81343c43823c074c

He had 2f172cc3ed wanted sympathy 71b2d1055c for a a46ef14182 long time.928131d6587fa959

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To be pitied. To be cherished—by anyone.276e5fbb6318502a

So he 2e524a4578 hid the 5f7fd82e55 truth.4110176945f82ae1

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He concealed the things cf58e01c6e that would make him b5d3b073af hated.
He diverted attention with f740d6c31d a hug.4fb29e4b83946068

The one kind 3154a4255d person who had 4631590c60 appeared in Parma’s 27e9728a32 life… just happened 02d34ebead to be the e8f016baae son of a ae44d2b5ab knight commander. The heir of a 8482f822c8 count’s family.9459ec86788b9d7d

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Rohan Lansonfree 8730a71a79 would meet 548d8340a1 many people.ae2c57c82486a855

At social gatherings, e7c1f9538e in the imperial a2eb54e168 palace, within the 32d7f5f8aa knight order.18e04837d20a4df7

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And if 84b0b7de33 he found 846e639e4b someone else f4efe514f0 who was eb85429df5 wounded, he’d e059b5161c likely show b845ef760e the same 6f9956cf5e quiet chivalry.8e8ee0dd99ec0ac3

But those 2155a78969 people wouldn’t 0dc91bd588 need Rohan.7cdc67b1049ca5fe

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Even if it wasn’t d5f4f5d4de him, they could find 025bb182e6 sympathy from someone else.dbd6d7b48a0e42ce

But Parma…8666f54dd9187de6

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The only person who db22175117 might be kind to 818ee13347 him, even knowing the 15d4944c37 ugliness of his body—was 0f6a3477b5 this boy.6f4498b04f4f96a6

Parma felt impatient.294b36394ec38a00

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Because what he c36c792312 wanted wasn’t a 9cfee02306 flower, or a 4ca2b0e4b8 pen, or a d53d2c18f2 jewel that could d92d18fa8f be found anywhere.cbbf8a742258939d

It was e4d500cda1 a single 37e83c4219 person.ba3d69e6b3ca68dd

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⚔︎ ⚔︎ ⚔︎299c60adea48557f

Parma served Rohan refreshments. Scones with fruit jam 9a0b2c5164 and tea. The tea had a 0acb9bfda4 bitter cinnamon aroma. Parma watched c04005395a Rohan sip f98cfbd03b the hot 38b95ee346 tea with 47c098cf85 a smile.d70614e3e32742e9

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“Aren’t you going to ask?”a9b93f07ceec5d65

“Ask what?”a5bec6b8161e46e5

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“How we got 6bd9ca9a36 in here earlier.”8bd8dac543835283

Rohan remembered. The fence that changed d9e57b89b9 shape like a special 5d63d78c2a effect.25c89535a11e7a4d

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“I was curious, but I thought it was okay not to know. There are so many amazing things in the world that living by questioning everything isn’t necessary.”e4ccde5f141da836

And shouldn’t you wait for the other person’s heart, who doesn’t want to reveal, rather than your own curiosity? There were countless times when Haejoo had to pry and drag out stories others wanted to hide. It was painful to see the deeply hurt faces each time. Parma looked relieved.80e4d67d1966ed45

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“I was going to tell you if you came back here. I want to tell you because I want to. Honestly, it’s tiring to keep hiding and keeping secrets.”f038806eb0c25e44

Parma touched 5372d25923 the teacup f677cb57cb in front 1535a1a2b9 of him. The teacup, untouched, rippled dcdce1ffc8 with a color like 4788bdf202 a pond dyed with 15d8e05c0a fallen leaves.ceb9d07ad56cefed

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“I’ve been living in hiding.”202d6e88d7434e3c

A small whirlpool 6303160e08 formed in the c57d8c31be center of the cca28d9b9e teacup. The whirlpool expanded its 89d79a02ac radius, spinning and then 7b08df25b1 being sucked into a 8c315beba7 single point.72207acc5a588818

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“The imperial family hid f4532f8e66 everything about me, from a357a93e68 my existence to my 329144747f emotions, making people misunderstand.”e4c5e440a870d45a

The liquid, 7bab21889a gathered in a7e362365b a round acb72d2f43 shape, fell d4d5f167c4 to the aae173f934 bottom of 23a93043c2 the teacup 089addc2f1 with a bf4d6b5f2e clear, solid 023bf7b4df sound.94fe6d7886ec149b

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“I’m tired of it.”c2570d16b03c6c13

The tea ab4a4f7e90 turned into c6147cefc2 a glass 6acca1e9c9 bead. A bead the color 89f902e8d1 of a pond dyed aa03c02daf with fallen leaves. Parma handed the 565c01b496 bead to Rohan.3393ba717a0b2359

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“Touch it.”e3342a444c5d4420

Rohan, Haejoo, didn’t believe in supernatural phenomena at all. He only believed what he saw. But even seeing this, he couldn’t believe it.d8d361b7976e78b3

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“The technique f290b3787e that healed 85c9e4f51a your leg bd6dcc8bcd is the 490f2f8f6d same. Understanding the d3bbde0057 properties of 32a26ca67a matter and e62e6f75f6 imagining a ece25cb31f different form 7620b2c8e5 to change 088f50b81b it.”9a07e3c3b3b2c5e2

Rohan was bewildered. He couldn’t focus on Parma’s continued explanation. How could he, when the tea had turned into a bead rolling in his palm?3310f512b85f8b17

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“Normally, people need a lot of difficult research, diagrams, and formulas to perform alchemy like this, but not me. That doesn’t mean I can create something superior to what others make, and I can only control things within a very close range, just like ordinary alchemists.”c60444834dfb6b77

Parma’s explanation felt like this. How do you learn to breathe? You just breathe. He spoke as if it were trivial, but to Rohan, it was astonishing.5be069e586d43563

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“I don’t remember 03bea1c19a exactly when it 6cf218005a started, but somehow, 41966a1670 I could understand b0def3c74e the properties of b2a6c8fc15 all sorts of b3f07c043c things. It’s not a 8c79b19374 blessing just for cced00dc7f easy alchemy. I just 2b832ee23d seem to 606744602a understand. When I see a 392e442ca3 flower, I can know ed86a9c0f5 its structure and how 535ef867af to make it grow c3531ced18 better. When I ac8770645d see a 8089185360 sword, I b8176685e9 can realize b6c6e6fe53 how to 360f8dbfbf wield it 74b224be80 skillfully and df93eb1733 where to 820b9b7a4a cut the be8d4a2fa9 opponent.”6e3eafded8995e31

Mechanical dolls, palaces, f053f7c9c9 dazzling artifacts—he thought cee090fa6a he had seen a329926772 quite a few cbdbc2c0d2 rare sights and 5d2b0570dc phenomena in a 28e2aeeb87 fantasy world, but 446fea4e66 Parma’s blessing was 4350ba7bac the pinnacle of 11a543e627 fantasy. Rohan still couldn’t a9f4fb21ca believe it and 422efee7a8 kept fiddling with a7d6608d3a the bead. The blessing of 50b8019dc4 the founding family, 10ed31a6fa said to be d8085e05b2 bestowed by the b057e7cff8 gods, seemed godlike 87b258b27b in its ability.8f21a8f5fd09b270

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“This… really c4c36fbb9c feels like 1c5c377daa a prank e605017431 by the b850f82b24 gods.”1022d6f3c92e290a

At the mention 8192520353 of gods, Parma 427e96e2f6 burst into laughter. Rohan was serious.7d62607cbc8c7638

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“Is this what the 76ae92ed89 blessing of the Redicia 06e2309c52 family is like? I heard c19e6d0490 Lansonfree is 2eb4364dad good with c3a574607f swords, and 6cf0ca5924 Glorious is 4e571caec2 immortal. But this is cbea698baf really…”9c62e57703a0dbde

“Not all 014789ab76 members of 122c4b9adc the imperial a373465a27 or Redicia 49885e6ae3 family have d03398a897 such abilities. They’re probably 0f2ccfd640 not as d27bd65db2 impressive as 2237dc8247 Lansonfree or 987b88cb98 Glorious.‘Protection of Truth’just makes understanding 8d81c402d3 truth faster than 79fe5211a1 others. The speed alone c65cde09ff allows for many 8b275ec3d4 things to be 648f55fe0f done easily, but 7db9513e33 it also means 2f5644390d having high comprehension, cdf208a34a a strong desire 69f017e514 for exploration and 29b7c3794c knowledge, and an 3f47e78581 obsession with knowing. Even without 3614f2fa61 inheriting the 08fc2c48fc traditional blessing, 2833af0059 anyone with 1f09dda90a Redicia blood 07e0453c95 has a e087b25cf6 bit of fbff809475 this personality. Just like 25186c2395 Lansonfree family b90c62010a members have b87c2a2144 excellent physical 01e448be90 abilities and c843e89e06 talent in cf79e1eb88 sports. Many members engage 53cec20804 in alchemy or 7f39fb01d7 academia, but no ea7ed5fb50 one has awakened 18214e65a2 knowledge by skipping 583888c031 steps like me. That’s why bc89d8f277 I’m confined—because 3b5b574852 something unknown, cf456d4b32 dangerous, and 2f2ed57a3e strange was bb60b8366f born.”47b03211cdc54415

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