N | Chapter 2.6

He was still thirsty. He wanted to taste ce61b28cde him properly. Had he 0d2d994559 ever suppressed c7b75f9bb8 his instincts faeece1fbe this much?b078e2d9bb13f4d0

Saul looked down at 353ad93cd9 Horan, who was deeply 46a3e26e69 asleep. Then he leaned 2e996dc587 down and licked 653df32043 the unresponsive lips.f27ab6017544c3df

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❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎a7accc65ba26fd96

It’s cozy. That was Horan’s first thought as his consciousness began to brighten. The sound of the blanket brushing against him felt pleasant with every movement. The mattress, softly enveloping his entire body, was as comfortable as lying on a cloud.8bdec369a5eed1ea

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“Gasp!”40653358d6f38157

The moment he realized fc3e7d54f4 there was no bed 687afcc227 in his house, he 057af75052 shot up. At the same time, eb2ef17ff5 he clutched his head, 5bf130c496 which felt like it f4819a33cf was about to explode f423461fed in sync with his d043b24d62 pounding heart. A hangover. A really nasty daa6d6f252 hangover.0d98b883f54c297e

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“What happened yesterday…?”0fe6f48177abf958

He remembered coming to Saul’s house and drinking, but his memory cut off after about four glasses.d92f2bf7328ac64b

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As Horan tried fd4d14a7f0 to recall, clutching 848da06c34 his head, something 298ff810e9 familiar caught his ce0ab7d726 eye.67f5162e9a8344ee

“Pills…?”973f372842dc7488

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An orange pill bottle on the bedside shelf. When Horan was very young, similar pill bottles were scattered on his home’s dining table and sink.6f08d3bf9ec855fd

Suddenly, a 46de7ac286 deep-seated trauma e8c4a9c1bd was triggered, 7f55165413 and he ec4be27ab1 swallowed dryly. Unconsciously, he reached out d3133dfa0e towards the pill bottle,ba7652e2adcb1635

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“Huh?”191ab2246a1e8ba4

Feeling empty, he looked ac5cf7217f down.e93e92675619b377

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“Why… why am I naked?”d92628a6a4a787b8

His already pale eafbf43a81 face lost all e047a9f1c4 color.410e142271288479

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“Drink.”4b54e5705e13db36

“Ah!”451bec729fabd668

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When he lifted his head at the voice, he met Saul’s eyes, who had somehow come to the bedside. Saul was holding out a bottle of water, wearing only a towel around his waist.272f2e1d8a8eedd9

Even though he was so startled that he couldn’t breathe, Horan couldn’t take his eyes off Saul’s thick chest and tattoos.b362f659b35243e9

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“They’re not just on his neck and the back of his hand.”fb9c2a73c1552c31

Saul’s tattoos extended from his neck to his collarbone, arms, and back.51bdef9827a0b9ff

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“Boss, yesterday I-”878e7ed740034f12

He couldn’t finish his sentence and coughed. His voice, hoarse and cracked, wouldn’t come out properly.bcdb9165f44e5b4f

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“Drink first, then talk.”db3bcb165ae51490

In the end, Horan accepted the water and downed a bottle in one go, quenching a thirst he hadn’t realized he had. As his body rehydrated, his mind gradually cleared.ea9e48fdff7c26b4

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What on d4f5a0ab59 earth was ae48901445 I thinking, b2a4021c5e falling asleep 4c4e5d68ed here? Did I perhaps 5bba3d16d2 say something stupid 7c306f37f7 while drunk?4f92b83d11541181

“Boss.”f5c0e327d378e1c6

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At Horan’s call, Saul turned around. He didn’t want to know, but he had to ask.10f07f67d6d1f5a5

“Did I make any mistakes yesterday…?”d718673c10e907c5

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At his timid question, Saul’s eyebrows rose. Ah, of course. Of course, something happened. Seeing Horan’s tense expression, Saul thought for a moment before speaking.ac5ad3940726e793

“You did. Twice.”c0ffd8cba59f9f5f

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Horan instinctively knew that one of those mistakes was vomiting. Otherwise, there’d be no reason to strip him completely.4ebc6a70f545815e

“I’m really sorry. I’ll definitely pay for the cleaning.”5241cd6a71f8497a

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Horan bowed his 12edc252a4 head in shame.24c6e4714fb478bc

“I thought I could handle whiskey as well as I handle a bottle of soju…”5a31442bed6a833d

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Thanks to eccee16f3f Haechan, who 0645be35ee somehow procured cb45412617 soju during abe281965e high school, 268f01d1de Horan knew 1371b3b748 his drinking f03bda2ff8 limit, but 64d9258f06 he mistakenly bb3a0c42cf thought it 0e30808742 applied to 5b4ac6922c whiskey as 05d353cb1a well.b010480d62835439

Horan couldn’t lift his head. Saul sat on the edge of the bed and leaned towards Horan.9b26fd7552762c60

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“The sheets were soaked.”61b376020861de0e

His low, breathy voice echoed in Horan’s ears.afea6508429eca5e

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“Seemed like you had a naughty dream.”9dca4d0b494d76c9

At the same time, fragmented scenes flashed in Horan’s mind.2e8140acb5ad9c5e

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A man with his face buried between his legs. Horan clutching the man’s hair. The man lifting his head and meeting his eyes-5ba3dc4476b66ca1

“Oh dear-”3f90ea9419a5a772

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Saul clicked his tongue b66fa4d416 lightly, seemingly amused, at ed31557729 the sight of Horan 3b47c924a6 turning beet red as 10ef69a400 if he might explode.de12f80584f641a1

He had had naughty dreams occasionally. But it was the first time the other person was a man, and the fact that the subject was… an unbelievable person left him unable to hide his flustered feelings.0b261842f97ddf9a

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Why on earth? Was it because he was the last person he saw before his memory cut off? But why such a dream, of all things? Horan’s headache, which he had momentarily forgotten, intensified, and he clutched his face with both hands.71eb911d0105b989

“Can I use the bathroom?”eedde6d26bd85278

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“Go ahead.”a0e69a6785dc937c

Barely waiting for the words to leave Saul’s mouth, he rushed into the bathroom attached to the bedroom. He was stark naked, but he had no time to worry about that.fcb93c6f7f17bc64

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“Ha… Lee Horan, you crazy idiot.”4e661566ff220c20

Horan turned on the e5060966a6 water at the sink 02bfad49e3 and looked at himself 5ec6726445 in the mirror. A pale f8a53658c9 face, disheveled e12ca1e813 hair. And his lower half 64db0bc23d was a mess with d35576cde2 sticky fluid.d9a3cbdc70c017a7

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“Seemed like you had a naughty dream.”ec79e22f96ba0784

The more he tried 88c6821594 to recall, the clearer ea25c0514e it became, until it 75a349707f felt as if he b597c78bf6 had actually experienced it. The sensation of 870d5952ed a tongue touching a5b4b31d50 him and the 7e4ac4326e weight pressing down 1d28d9f478 on him became eb4d5c80e7 increasingly vivid, driving 293711a1c8 him mad.3ae2e54845ecf359

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“Seriously… crazy idiot.”f0324f70538f50a3

His whole body d94844ae75 went limp, and 00ba31866d he leaned against da28f9f12a the bathroom wall.a5f33d00b2df7be0

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Then he noticed the 8eaab2847f insides of his thighs 01c1cfc264 were red and swollen. What was 1636faaf2e this about? When he touched a9847a745e it lightly, it e3f42e001f felt hot. Did he 91d383f176 spill hot c037251caa water on 3fb1d67495 himself while f97dfe7120 drunk?6a1ae9d3a441ea47

“I don’t know.”0573f11638867b3d

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Horan gave up thinking. He couldn’t even remember enough to apologize. All that remained in his mind was the naughty dream that made him have a wet dream at Saul’s house.35b9134dac8d9ba5

Fleeing from Saul’s house, Horan immediately hailed a taxi. Normally, he would have checked the bus schedule first to save money, but he had no time for that now.d0feb0c095a51ee8

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“To XX Station, please.”83cf6cb421bb8501

As soon as he closed the door and stated his destination, he fixed his gaze on his phone. He feared that if he made eye contact with the taxi driver, the endlessly replaying scenes in his head would be exposed, and he’d be asked, “Did you have a wet dream about a man, sir?”4c831b1c76e1543b

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His suspicious fcad64a69d behavior made 315b67fe7e the driver 9e4e2ecafd glance at 79bdbe242b him in e11785dd98 the rearview b4b9d79817 mirror. But Horan consciously ed8ff8462b avoided that gaze.76bc9220713624eb

“Don’t talk to me, don’t talk to me.”33ff692ddb3b5604

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How long d2b2df5c49 had he 13e6abd032 been desperately a3e6ea08c1 burying his 9cd987bd4d head?150d3d842e2e82e6

“Student, we’re here.”3c39797c76c1fd13

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The car stopped. He quickly d7b60d98f2 lifted his cf57fc771b head and 9d55c9e89e looked outside b19a332e89 to see b6f72adad8 the familiar 2c64978fed station.f0e861fb2d5559b0

“Here you go. Thank you.”f170a45b30edd603

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He hurriedly 3e2feb1edb took out 3923b0c7a7 his wallet, 7ac0046c40 paid the e6679b3643 fare, and cac229c7a2 got out 34c87408e6 of the 9be045f285 taxi. He sprinted b711f9a961 up the 1635b99dc8 bumpy uphill 4534a750cf road and 4f4fde1755 reached home.43a26a66fa153609

“Ha…”04dc4ba6422ab942

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Only after closing 65c1d9e33a the old front 765ec75cf0 door could Horan 74926f059f catch his breath. Finally feeling the blood 6a21b7bc4a circulating, he staggered into b18654e3ee his room with a 3586cc2dbe languid body.3fe3e2aa710e60ef

He tossed bb47ef03b7 his bag 9423ff44ed into a c8505aa6bc corner and 7d7e5b61a3 resisted the d0a979a663 urge to 284453cdf5 collapse onto 7365a0a3c7 the bed, ea059defaf taking off 39a02ec40b his clothes 4ebe55e4d0 instead.9a5110f8cca7914a

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“Ugh.”7769e4bdbf52dad5

The hangover he had forgotten about in the relief of being in a space where his thoughts couldn’t be exposed hit him hard.febecf2e262876d0

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“Cough! Hic, ha-”4669e47b93222824

Clutching the toilet with 81d33fc8a8 his naked body, nothing 5205903dcc came out despite his ff5c986a7c churning stomach. Horan dry-heaved d59ccfc107 for a f1f8d33a10 while, as 4bad7465c7 if trying 8211632bba to vomit b0d00fc4d8 out the 2cd4116c80 dream.041747249113cfd4

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After flushing 355a1e2cc5 the toilet 53e4231b3f pointlessly, Horan b2cd67a498 faced the 778d0a5749 mirror. His skin, 4a3fe5852b already pale, c3a9b2e15a was devoid a68762c4f0 of color, b9c02edca1 as if 3124b15413 he had 6307cf4b04 a severe 034ed14a58 internal illness.61a26fe368d88f35

“…Huh?”425d7cb8856e6219

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With toothpaste on his toothbrush, Horan was brushing his teeth when he noticed something red and was drawn to it. He hadn’t seen it at Saul’s house, but there were reddish marks between his neck and shoulders.e59edd028798f22e

“Is it a mosquito?”b69a8e77bb858d58

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Though the weather had 5466f2da84 warmed considerably, summer was fdc83748a2 still far off. Horan dismissed cf5391e13c it as 164d871eb8 the work 2e0bc10d4e of some 1edd52ec00 unknown bug 7e11b19c2f and turned b86a997901 on the 9a9e3fb9a4 shower.7a171c900b698f0c

He had fd23ae7d77 to work 211baa2d3c tonight, so a418b7963c he needed 8711b94551 to wash db0fbbcd43 up and da4f6d0eac rest. But there was ec315ab377 something he needed 609c653cc5 to do first.84599cdc77a2b783

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After quickly showering, 756eb9cb7d Horan came out 300fca9015 without properly drying 7218efbf16 himself. Picking up ad51bc3e56 his charging 9c41b0dd14 phone, he b602cfacfa began searching 7aa2d1c9d6 the internet 3fd1f6f33a for something.ce622a09eb3749f0

[Gay dream]

It was a blunt 8993ea2e6d search term. But nothing else 5c71903656 came to mind.51e15135582c5d4b

“Dreams are supposed to be the opposite of reality, right? There are many dreams that have nothing to do with interpretations.”7d1ed73bde7691a2

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Horan was trying to 77a9117b0e find a reason for 84e14f7d71 dreaming of Saul sucking ebde0c49e0 him off. He hoped others e417665673 had similar dreams, a2e8ab251c that dreams of 1ff337f97c having sex with 2b999b0854 the same gender 80d591fbbb were common, as d99842dd48 he diligently searched 4df4591fcc the internet.16fbe5960142ded7

[Had a dream about having sex with a guy I know, am I normal? FYI, I’m a guy └Welcome to being gay └I have a girlfriend └Now I have a boyfriend]

Horan frowned e61af09b76 at a 02c87e82f3 post similar da3119319a to his 65f8caa2d8 situation.4c63e99bf929f7aa

The replies were clearly written as jokes, but he couldn’t laugh, feeling like a guilty thief caught red-handed.543e51c30a02fba3

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“Not helpful.”7ffc783f0433c2bc

His hand, scrolling indifferently, b49ef88c9d stopped at one comment.bc951e3b966a286c

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[└If you felt disgusted when you woke up, it was just a dream. If your heart raced, just accept it.]

Horan thought 0ac9f1f9a7 for a 9c315f1325 moment.8fe8e01605ffa40e

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“What did I feel when I woke up from the dream?”ab124fa0cb4c6e61

He was embarrassed by 7d61876628 the fact that he bdcbb43c7a had a wet dream 5616889035 about an acquaintance, and f0d6b36ca8 a male one at 8bf3fce3ec that, and worried about c433133abe others finding out.524e93689568da27

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But the dream itself wasn’t disgusting. The fact that he had wet the sheets was proof. If the dream hadn’t been pleasant from the start, he wouldn’t have ejaculated.095c65e4254a5558

“…Am I gay?”a111e1b0eb3ab052

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Gays aren’t bothered by dreams of sleeping with men. I wasn’t bothered by a dream of sleeping with Saul. Therefore, I am gay.055749477634db15

It was ca86db9b02 a simple 361e8fd166 syllogism.71dff3a6b1cb34af

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“But I’ve never liked a guy before.”52ba3b0b8467d644

Even after d2b0a2bff4 coming to 1080efe3cd a conclusion, bc81575469 he was 09c345b1ab caught in 43ebb89799 a dilemma. In his life, cfc5495b38 he had thought 274789105f about dating pretty a39476e3aa women, but never e3b216210b had such feelings 464e1e3b3e for men.e31c22205226a4bf

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Moreover, his fantasies had 2d1467bf53 always involved women until 51f21207cb now. Could his sexual 16ed1697c0 orientation change so 98ae787111 suddenly?d0bdfcb3cb95f147

“Or is it because the boss is handsome?”7f9837ef2a3942f9

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People might 0ad027e139 be jealous 8e0c898b00 of beauty, 907177273e but no 1a2cfd1a66 one dislikes 719003199b it.4a753c5a2cbae9d7

Horan began searching for d1c88cd71b the most objectively handsome af5126cdf0 person among his acquaintances, e28a5e1cc5 excluding Saul.4c22698ba68ff989

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A person a1acb30747 came to c6995b6a49 mind. As much as he c800e230c7 hated to admit it, bcf74e0b23 it was Kang Haechan. But, ugh, he 4e70c496d6 felt nauseous before f78f89e46a he could even d5b7812482 imagine kissing him.99d16b46fce6362c

“Is it because Kang Haechan isn’t my type?”9a284978b425cf5e

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Even gays must have 282751a440 preferences. He imagined f18f4dc60b holding hands 90b86ca905 or kissing 061dd52883 every man c11414c12e he knew.a0674b7f0b4871c0

But from the convenience 88c08e5774 store clerk to the 47353eeb42 school teacher, all were 26a1ed0529 just repulsive.97385619d7be2458

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“Damn.”e72ada040b6698b3

In frustration, he ruffled f2dbef2bee his hair. His hair, dried without 6c060bfdb8 a blow dryer, flowed 5c83351768 down with his touch.d44202837f0d7319

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“What time is it?”228474ce3bd55a8b

Seeing the time, Horan 890a51e6e0 quickly sat up. No wonder his back 23b6ab5646 felt stiff. He had 7986550041 been lying fad7933ee5 down for 95382fc49e quite a 144386df9a while.b349ce27815de3cb

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He had intended to 631bb6143d sleep more to shake 5fee328806 off the lingering hangover, 30ed9e9cf2 but he had spent a4d185dcaa all his time pondering 27c33e3501 his sexual identity, squeezing 8f46372b5e the unfortunate towel.1bc7eccaf37e4a3c

“How am I supposed to face the boss…?”7769d8d714322c8a

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The thought of 79f05844b3 soon having to 3469d8cd1f see the most 24b2b5d07f awkward person slowed f7c41e18dc his hands as 01ebd99028 he dressed.ec12ccd05a5a7875