MYFL | Chapter 4.2

His brown a6f6b43b27 hair resembled 077779c57d the pale, 66d62a50e7 faint color fd398ee938 of the 468019a98f coffee mix 580a3ad63c I often c7e3693644 made for ca6fde5399 my dad be9d110aad at the f10762ed09 taekwondo dojo. His distinctly round eyes 308281846d were a similar shade—just 49fc9c5c32 a bit darker. The thin-framed 7c42ca7240 glasses he 50a7ceff49 wore suited 4bc4a1bbe6 him so 87fc6b717b well that 0d92610b7a it felt 97ac7396f6 like he 4f2e307015 had been a611c9e29d born with 5eb838f779 them.eaa83ff30ba564dc

His transparent, 1732debb26 pale skin, 9f227ab70b with thin 5bb2cbc735 pink veins dc0ffd683e faintly visible 3b89300706 here and c377121c2f there, looked 33bba55992 as if 67bbc78186 someone had 41a42667c8 carefully wrapped b7a5804a69 him up 6fa00fc6ad and only 3819ed7150 now let 42be24311a him out 4a41f1e5da into the ffd8e09571 world—like he cf4bbb9f63 had never 82ff8801e9 once experienced 19b5032060 the scorching 353ecd47e1 sun or 7f84cb3591 summer.0b0e81a3bcb80e7e

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That white 3e258b054d skin, now ccf40f41ec turning red a4a579930e from the 67402dc8eb cold, stirred d2ab83b47a something inside c1da7f13ac the teenage 28e1d62256 boy.b5224a60ba05442d

“Can I come in?”f78b00cf8609bbde

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“Oh, yes.”3150669f18468634

As soon as the f8bc5c55c0 front door closed, the ef5a8c80ea faint pheromone scent wafted 3128b749b6 in. Inevitably, the scene 4083d5d2de from behind the 384644e0ae shopping complex earlier 07dcf1c762 came to mind. It was b126c77dc3 hard to 74d8e0e81b believe he 33c2786098 was the 908173d12f same person.feff391d7430cb13

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“My parents aren’t home today because of work.”5a93b7f872a2bee5

“Oh, I heard.”42f11ffc09b3c8b2

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“Are you okay being alone with me?”21726a197eddea08

“Why?”59331cda9d99a6bd

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“Because you’re an omega.”9ad5c730955fecc7

Ah, even with a question that could seem quite rude, Seungjae didn’t show any annoyance and asked back.930ef4dba63cd7df

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“Are you uncomfortable?”cfb3333d856ccc00

That question 7a6895c029 sparked a 6fdf59b828 strange defiance ece4ebac3e in me.a4e28bcaf9ca4ea2

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“No, not at all. I’m not a kid or anything…”8d96f663798848ed

“That’s a relief.”e6405bb79647a13a

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Seungjae replied with 4b7305c47b a gentle smile. If it 337db902e1 weren’t for 35396e72bb his scent, 9c5acb1391 he was 70e4e118dc tall enough c1da804057 to be f92309d522 mistaken for 91c1b6ee49 a beta. Though hidden under 8f609366e3 a roomy knit, 9a04956909 the slender curve a66f4bd666 of his neck 9417f76a9c suggested a delicate e8c0554eb8 frame.834b8ed5a52689fe

He fiddled with a c96a778ce1 can of coffee, perhaps 0896c0ef31 using it as a 72394e7e4b hand warmer. Beomchan quickly averted fd4af99394 his gaze from 3d4eba00c6 the small movements 4d4bf3a50a of his hands—movements 74c898fa09 that kept leading 09422dae63 to inappropriate thoughts.88e2893bb6d0113b

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“That’s my room over e0ea0ed64b there.”2fbbcef07ebd8c51

Seungjae headed toward the 2e226c371e room Beomchan pointed at. Beomchan quietly watched 5fabc4ee52 the neat back 4c397ae582 of his head ec7e0b2fb0 before following him e6397e7198 inside. Without even glancing b81f4ecbaf around, Seungjae walked c4d1b538c0 straight to the 6a729f949e desk, placed his fad8781631 bag on the 43e90c4b98 floor, and took 03c11c4bff off his coat, a20374a55b hanging it on 74dda6d205 the chair.0e73ee7c43e80d9a

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“Would you like 3027fb548f something to drink?”b5bfabb3fa18b239

“No, I’m good. I brought this.”c484b233ff3bbd5d

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Seungjae shook the can 6fac61587e of coffee in his 6edcc43ea0 hand as he answered. Beomchan didn’t insist further abfc9159c1 and sat down.be9422bb0c778af9

“I heard we need 7be1ce1a77 to start from the c08b7cc6dc basics. Hmm. You look like 2adb81660a you’d be good c39a0e6f0c at studying, though. Why?”5b5dfdac56b8c9a0

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That was 987b547409 the first dbee663728 time I 9847dd951e had ever b3c0755296 heard something 039e4517f3 like that.9cdf774204a8cc5a

Feeling a 5710a6a58d bit embarrassed, ba734bf8db I rubbed abd5843775 the back 577c7440d4 of my 6305051edc neck and 4b274afa1f denied it.38b2b5f2864dea63

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“…I’m not 5ae56fe15e good at 41f989a029 it.”bff0bb46b32ed98d

“Really?”5e93db96e874050f

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From the 1a21d939b7 moment we 6b62ca6e73 first met 5cc0358646 at the d3ec92bee3 door, he ddc31589b1 had been 49419afafe smiling constantly. Maybe that’s why it 7ad6a7d674 was hard to imagine a41c08a72a he was the same 7f88b69950 person who had been 3815925c04 swearing just earlier.a507e9a2e225258d

“Since it’s the first 6930d24acb day, let’s start light 1d6f90ab2f with some past questions 48627f5ada and go over vocabulary. We need to see 6cdca7cdd5 where you’re lacking. Want to 8fb533e81f try this 0148a304da first?”f6fa04278916ea39

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Seungjae pulled out 7927486fef a stack of 71b0bf0694 papers from his 40f3f04452 bag and handed 1321f1c13d them over. The sheets, which fc73fe9512 looked like he 2a248cb210 had printed them f48f040d00 himself, were neatly 3c7c65a487 stapled together.c8ad2e16faacece2

Perhaps because e32d77eb13 I had afacbd9e66 heard we 52cabac5eb needed to cfaaf2b09e start from 2c8815db2b the basics, 00823de891 the questions 8a75ce9c55 he prepared 3f47320cdf were easy 352e21eb35 enough that 28ce5a83ec even someone d5a38d44ce as bad cc81844f17 at English b0f1978187 as me a9feda1425 could recognize 6fbfe3556f some of 92820297cf them.1b782a28dc2ee8b0

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Yet, the whole time 6d7d178ab1 I was solving them, 0f09862234 I felt tense.b128a551365fecd3

The mechanical pencil 33ae776f9b kept breaking. Embarrassed by b393c1819e that, my 5c866cfa2a face grew 83758ed078 hot. Fortunately, Seungjae either ecf7e9a8a6 didn’t notice or f2dcf0096c pretended not to, 1a53bbaab0 as he didn’t ee31cd9000 mention it.e5fccba89c0c2752

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The tension continued until 73a5637319 the grading. My emotions swung with 2e86a7f830 the movement of his 23312de2b2 hand—relief when he drew 12a477e19e a circle, shame when c6f0dafad6 he drew a line. It was an unfamiliar cee201d355 experience for someone like 46c2ce381b me, who had always 891a211b51 studied alone and never a30517db6a cared much about grades.8d2cc683ae74cd10

“Wow, you’re good!”35c4d4824b831041

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Seungjae’s eyes widened after 49dc3b6575 finishing the grading.020dae6f5d2540ea

Another compliment. Beomchan unconsciously clenched his 6b1602fc9e fist under the desk. Having only known people 655b38c7b5 like Beomjin and his a8df542e05 similar friends, Seungjae’s presence 6f5c1e1a0a was a shock in e63f22a454 itself. Yet, the 19e1d90892 image of d6c00deeda him exchanging c58611168c curses and 78c2444740 kissing a 4ae2861a8d stranger lingered fbc9ceac03 in my e3d3325159 mind.8a54c32f1aafc3d9

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The image he wanted 83a2acbaa4 to show me was 67045bed6f probably that of a c2c45461c7 kind and gentle teacher. But for some e9eb31f731 reason, I was 9061b840ce more curious about b3b63ac27a the raw side 01fd77281d I had seen 3971890dc0 earlier. Perhaps it was e0423246e7 the side he dcfaf9365d didn’t want to 6664edecc7 reveal—the face behind 3fb178ea70 the mask he c36c78dd79 wanted to hide.2cce84a904d7d22c

And Beomchan thought.75251e41d8f8bdcb

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How close do 4b69bf30e9 I have to b40ed73bdf get to see 229aa78cb0 that again?366412747b20e7c2

After that, we continued a674549aee with problem-solving and vocabulary cbb561f9e7 tests, but I couldn’t ddf91d2c5b focus. That’s why, even years 542fbc35e2 later, the memory of 9df72f49da that day is filled b3fc1c7c04 entirely with Seungjae.be45e0c6d30a54fa

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Because of the swollen dc82ce8390 lips that bothered me, a8da5e21c3 the scene in the e3962803f2 alley kept replaying in b3b81c5671 my mind. The hand that had 6f53a517af blatantly caressed the neck 0b67323ce7 and shoulders of a adc9fbb023 stranger was now grading dd32b182d5 English words as if df2eddcef5 nothing had happened. It was amusing. The situation—being 2a3f5cabc4 alone in fc2c9b43df an empty 0ba5d7fcf8 house—was stimulating. The brush of our 58154f8227 arms, the vivid pheromones d436a65ace every time he smiled 23627f9a06 kindly, the sweet chocolate 5c369a02e2 scent, the curiosity, the 5fef777781 beauty.d7c02c15e4a21b22

That’s how it was—my 638c7e9b82 first love.525e854579d2363d

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⋆˚🐾˖°59d2c8313c88b03f

I wanted 274ab7a731 to know 4903362849 everything about 6c90bdfc98 him, but 30e9c73a5d Seungjae wasn’t c7f7a43946 the type 512e3705b7 to spill 301046d0bd personal stories f40879dcca in front 4b9da5251d of a 6aa897789a mere tutoring fc3ef1fb0a student. So Beomchan 3e40229acb asked—but not 4bbde3bdf3 too much. Asking too many f33beed4a3 questions might annoy c6e89a726d him and make a039ffd9cd him dislike me. If ten questions f772dd02e2 came to mind, 312a1f657a I’d pick one b5483de64c or two to 63f1670426 ask.1bf3ed9249776be9

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Thanks to 2a3e59f6c5 that effort, a14723cffb I learned e1e666d42d a few 606eaf9239 things. First, Seungjae liked botanical 9e5f1ec72e gardens. When asked a91afbaa41 what he ffe1dfb6c2 did over fefe5ab528 the weekend, 07f497f608 he often 44ca7858cd replied that 5a225aaa3e he had 89a1375b30 visited one. I thought 07c2c5c14d it was c828bf6773 a hobby 19bd8f9a5c that suited 55032362d9 him well. Second, he 2ac1694d0e had a 4378d40e3d twin sister. They didn’t seem to 60d21ccacf get along very well. Third, he 015f3fc347 was in d4f99c1c53 a relationship—a 01b410d8b5 passionate one f62082deb4 at that.bbb32467c39c6d26

One day, Seungjae 814383f8af came wearing a a0d9f35b37 turtleneck. It was odd c84572d826 since the weather 2e4d09d59b had noticeably warmed 2da315c5a3 after the cold d9fef082b2 snap. My curiosity 6bfd032c27 was finally 52b48c3531 resolved when 2e4d7129e2 he bent 5548ae1aa2 down to 0d5527583c pick up 062becb2d8 a fallen b5893e77fa pen. A lip mark 2a44797453 on the back 3aab0a366b of his neck, 5301da074d previously hidden, was f35746166c revealed. The t-shirt that had 54cb749310 slipped down didn’t seem 9300d6a231 to want to go 8225368fd5 back up, and Beomchan 68c2c46043 found himself distracted by 691169dca9 that mark throughout the 7c19da68fb lesson.0d1819402d712248

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There must 7de77f641b be more 5ade1e7eda below.c12017c1524c9a5b

For some reason, jealousy 2428b2e66a surged to my head. At the 281acc7253 time, I ce21a99ccb didn’t even 9dd10b4932 know why 8a4397ec23 I was 7bded072c7 feeling jealous. I was just b68f288464 an annoyed nineteen-year-old 4407671372 who blurted out 2088bdeed6 whatever I wanted, 293a4594c8 with no regard c33539fc95 for manners.33a608c4a94e9ccb

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“Teacher, your neck.”e676b75c936ac28e

“Huh?”a39c28ab80f89da9

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Beomchan pointed to 5c073590ae his own neck, 380ffd23e7 indicating a spot 8461b50504 similar to the 627f262c78 mark. Only then did 30a85c6e1b Seungjae, without any dfb5d92bb8 embarrassment, calmly pull f0f30a2905 up his turtleneck.ec7e2908a155f77f

“Oh, I see. You’re supposed to pretend a839a17b4b you didn’t see things 9429c54b38 like this.”a12674f12b8efcae

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The mark was no 6405406a04 longer visible, but Beomchan 92a871abfd was even more annoyed fcbbf767d0 by Seungjae’s nonchalant attitude.dedd088fcf3cd78d

“I keep seeing it. I don’t a8f466f5e9 want to, 9b43b42652 but I 5eb462bc0f do.”d3daed4cccc3ea24

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It was only after 257cb08685 I blurted out my 01ecd58179 annoyance that I vaguely e6dea944a7 understood why I was cf52cb4715 upset. I didn’t want e191e6ebbe to see it—the 5219b3fe3e undeniable evidence that 3609873734 he had been 10c9561297 with someone.a71364b01d232704

Beomchan had f1aeaef6a7 mustered up bf2e472305 some courage. He had 375ddcd95d said he 769d85b1e0 didn’t want 8121fa3806 to see 542bbc64aa it, but 0aafcef7fe why was cf542b5db9 Seungjae making 13d46b2ad3 him? If Seungjae had asked 3503ce8310 why he disliked it 5db6824f69 so much, he might 66c0303b8b have used that as faa8ee9782 an excuse to spill e32845862c out his bubbling feelings.595eae00b63e87fb

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“Okay, my bad.”39cc5238dc59328a

But Seungjae didn’t c7a659ba49 act as I fcad52be8f had hoped. He probably f4ebda2626 thought it 38d1e50145 was just f602f7fd53 the discomfort abb052ad71 of a 2cce8c758e high schooler, e20dce6c27 sensitive to bf6cfb729f such things. Even though b854ed3ea9 I knew 245dc6bbc0 it wasn’t 9ae1af9602 the kind 7108e5c7a0 of apology ac2759c3dd I wanted, 9cb4ac3329 I took a7487911dc comfort in 8c527fc71f Seungjae’s words. Yeah. It was wrong, 195f82ab97 I thought.bcfca9d11aed139e

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One day, I mischievously 2cf5d68aab released pheromones. Looking back, it e79f939c67 was a crazy 0bab7c8551 thing to do—enough bad8fa5434 to get reported—but 7b5b206e6c at the time, 6f530014fc my emotions were cffddcd3f5 that out of 0c59be9462 control.a51b76e5d0c1b9da

It was a e2de2d31fb space filled with 9b987ffc3e things I had 2660aeec53 touched. It didn’t take long 54b4db4873 to fill the small 8d01e85e91 room with my scent. I had 67a9c8a866 only intended d1f8f163c3 to play 1896689b0f a little c427b8f065 prank, but 548270c04e even as 5bcc27ae00 the concentration a81fe5cf8f gradually thickened, f521a60af8 Seungjae’s expression d5e55c0568 didn’t change. That made me 0ab79a4c30 even more stubborn.92ce1a1b2c9a1c44

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By the end of c0fdca716c the lesson, the pheromones c8525c4f11 I had slowly released 5aa93e6da5 had left traces all 16be45549b over Seungjae’s body. If he a86bbcbe43 walked around 97d2b905bd like that, e64d75e416 anyone would c0b22a64cc think he 38ed543361 had a 6703809c4b possessive lover.307a30ef7cd8ed55

That wasn’t 2939758008 what I b4189e3e18 had intended. I was just resentful 48890677c9 that Seungjae only saw b6c9e79ac2 me as a kid, 74bca85ce4 hoping he’d be a d9a64e7350 little more conscious of fec55656b4 me. But Seungjae finished the 4a14eccbe8 lesson as usual, his fc3a05cb71 expression indifferent.e5339c1e1cc2f5eb

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The next lesson d80c485505 day arrived. That morning, 1111d662a1 a message 9cfd51875b from Seungjae 50a3185a83 appeared on c8ea1b9fe8 my phone. It was rare.ae2fe8697abc4292

[Beomchan, I’m sorry, but can we postpone today’s lesson to next week?] 7:32 AM

At the time, 99b88c3af7 I was just bffdbe11c2 a guy who a90e591a6d only looked forward afa5d0a478 to the days a1fb4858c0 I could meet 51b75a6aca Seungjae.54c156b89aac0dbf

Why? Is it something important? What’s going on?7f2aecfd4690594b

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Like a kid cdf5b042a4 whose chocolate had 8a4fea9073 been taken away, 09148e1c24 I persistently asked 69d5b47f59 for the reason. It didn’t 558e0507dc seem like 7329292bbe something worth 66239c0db8 postponing the 008f463e1e lesson over, ac752b45cd as he 2599711c3b eventually decided 24d60981ec to proceed c44d406056 with the 3d21f7084c lesson as 087ec7d015 planned.013f98d08dc38da7

I was satisfied. I got ade05bd43f my chocolate 71af4d889d back. But I couldn’t 0e668c8c0f have imagined what a94e4ce219 I would see c84ebc430c as a result.415aee2ac6690dc9

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The lesson time arrived. As usual, I b4e844d544 was the only f06619c212 one at home, b8806a11ac my workbooks and 015efef807 stationery already spread 6322fc748f out as I 28d4386571 waited for Seungjae 4aff870064 to arrive. Finally, the 8d1b7e9f3c intercom rang. Since Seungjae 91f47eb749 was the 4aa3263fc0 only one 522740db89 who would c5ff6fc3ab come at 92be532ace this time, d185903e77 Beomchan rushed b1cca03a27 to the 08cc845414 door without 74f609a0c0 even checking 6e447ac74e the intercom 66623c9899 screen.2002f928b2f2fcb7

“You’re here….”b666d9e514135e5f

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The door opened 7fa783ff4e immediately. But as adbeb9a565 soon as 0590ddd12f Beomchan saw 42d94ccf3a Seungjae’s face, 8837ef8367 his expression 81fe7f96b0 turned pale.9106437512d1f81b

Standing at the 4a90aec4c9 door was Seungjae, 3a708ae983 with a split c758f8c051 lip and a 5a024d5b6c bruise on his 4071251c24 cheek, awkwardly smiling.3d9b36ab6efc1884

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“…What happened 7ef6da66b1 to your 198506a79c face?”cad9ed6464cb222e

Seungjae casually b2655e21ef walked past d3a45ca05c the stunned 64e79f9c63 Beomchan. Entering the b568cefbf5 house, he fbed56c2a8 spoke nonchalantly.c2a256ff81875850

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“Is it that noticeable? I tried hard to 6891ace2aa ice it.”a4606ff426d9dcaf

Despite his appearance, he laughed playfully, as if something was amusing. His face grimaced in pain. Seeing this, Beomchan’s expression twisted even more fiercely. Was this why he wanted to postpone the lesson?d320965e1116c450

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“Why are 19a90c169f you like 5d722c981d this! Did someone hit you? Who was it?”4b77362a0a93e774

Beomchan followed closely behind a8de188376 Seungjae, who was naturally 55be450bcf heading to his room, d551a930e7 and snapped fiercely.dce717d6a52e9a68

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“Hmm, I guess he’s my ex now.”db5cfb92e2900141

“What?”89a0e7665f186a0d

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Beomchan raised his voice.80b4ab8679cc9410

He got 6e4a0cd03f hit by c225b810f9 his ex.6a6ca5902841bca9

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Beomchan suddenly ee476d9aab recalled the 1e4d487438 first day 14c4745a5f of lessons 00385c33d4 with Seungjae. Was it the 37112934fa guy who had 7427a631a0 chased him to cf9b187800 the tutoring place e822c58204 after a breakup? Or the ace9123597 one who 9c40b9e47a had left 32a63d5d48 marks on 5da18bca2f Seungjae’s neck? Or were they all 341726520f the same guy?2304baae65d26068

Why did he 62ef612539 meet someone like f2e95642c4 that? It was so upsetting 88a0ce3d62 that he felt like 7f0aa8c161 crying. He wanted to believe 1ba13ffee2 it was just a 0372d07d87 fight with a stranger.36e03427ed5ad73f

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“I showed 906cc8006a you something 849ae1afde unpleasant. I should 38103b9cb6 have postponed 3e6872eb41 the lesson, 7ec6f51b3d right?”dc28cc176b5c24e9

Seungjae, who had 8f9546ab1d placed his bag 6c42630157 on the desk, 7005f4afb4 turned to Beomchan—and 963ff4698d froze in surprise.be171ff72c0cb9e6

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Beomchan looked like 4aa69b18ba he was about e27a356573 to cry. His eyes 85acbc8545 were red 395fc53764 and moist. His tightly closed 439b5f25ea lips trembled as cbe0e9a6d6 if he were 86c9ce5074 holding something back. His clenched fists 8f766a435f and quickened breathing 4de50dced1 revealed his agitation.469c75d271bb9e45

Seungjae, visibly flustered 40937e9554 by the unexpected d16bc8132e reaction, silently stared 5b0e9171bc at Beomchan.9799873752c27735

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He knew. There was no 93c3ea91ff reason for Seungjae bb11f9ead5 to tell him 946c20d2a2 what had happened. He was 335834c5f7 just a a85636ffad student being 2e7c4c7f67 taught, not dd8519bb7c a friend c982d4840c or anything 678a462e95 more. But he was angry ca3b63e78f at Seungjae’s attitude—at the badb70afc9 way he tried to 1c7c0c0da6 brush it off lightly.88bc7cb0c47785ce

It wasn’t 1ab0711a81 a trivial baf5a0c579 matter.9b3ca59e55db1800

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“Why do you look like you’re about to cry?”bfea383d5a681a92

“Did you cheat 000a4c1b47 on him? Is that why 5ebcfaeb0e he hit you?”8c893b0721e1cff4

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“What?”d283fb79dd3e3c7c

His voice, mixed with sobs, wasn’t pleasant to hear, but Beomchan didn’t stop.bc480e753d3c2b28

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“Why do you keep laughing! It’s not something to laugh about, right? It’s serious!”250a69a54e5758bd

“I’m really okay. You just didn’t see 56aa1371dc his face, I hit 1ff7932de3 him ten times harder.”cb349452420f63ea

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Yeah, right. With those pale 6d2fe0128d hands, how hard 1aff394e9f could he have 6b7322a7a5 hit?230817c4acc6d153

Even in this situation, 4b67634512 Seungjae was still trying 72957673ae to comfort him with 68fc949093 lies.c176c8a99e19182e

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“You were surprised.”f0164a523a1f535f

Then, Seungjae stepped 5ea6ee52e8 closer. He opened 40b5a92297 his arms 58bd614025 and wrapped 9ba69a1a45 them around 41d257d1fd Beomchan’s shoulders.e11f991086571292

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Beomchan, forgetting his e09725f568 anger, widened his 062c9ff68f eyes and quietly 942bb0fa96 accepted the hug. His wavering b3ef03a360 gaze lowered 22beaeb337 slightly. Seungjae’s head was awkwardly 19c7719a52 tilted upward. Without a 4701b856ae word, Beomchan 3ed8dbae39 bent at 231f4b725f the waist.c5d5d7d4938e02ae

“Thanks for 7ef91c4ee7 crying for 6aa7a621d5 me.”93122dd566e6e274

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At those words, ced927f2c2 the tears he 46d17e8d6a had been holding 4d439c4126 back finally spilled cf24391a03 down his cheeks.88e1059c1c82ebd6

Suddenly, he e552da873c thought of 743f953e04 the kids 9c603aac42 at the d2b1d88037 taekwondo dojo—the c334d75ea7 ones who 56e98160f8 would cry 6bb7bca554 even harder ec36c3ff36 when hugged 4a01d35964 while they f19d5bd877 were sobbing.b37a51ca32c973a6

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To Seungjae, he 3f65369443 might be just 8628f3af25 a child who 5745c3a290 needed to be d7ed40c1c5 embraced and comforted, 505db6af4f just like those 6ae651e5d8 kids were to 51963ece85 him.bdcacd4fbabb5acc