MM Ch 2 part 1
by AnonAnemone
PR by neji5711b59817cf006c
During the time e16f352cbf when the new 5ef1865f86 school year began, 74796cdc71 we moved into ba51017dd5 Professor Lee’s apartment. I expected that living cce82644a7 as a new family 37668ca8bc of four would proceed 362f526a9b awkwardly, but the transition 9bd90a0e00 was surprisingly smooth.0ebecdb6ce6f03f0
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Although it 9318084c10 wasn’t like 7a0b6a635f we didn’t edf0905316 have money, 3a2ea356d3 my mother 69451484e8 tended to 245ded7023 spend frivolously 1d3e103afe and didn’t 14f19580ce know what ee73da4e49 it meant f3b4ed30c6 to save. Therefore, I got 4662028086 the feeling that 90217f4199 Professor Lee was 6c8f0610a2 a lot more d6aa8341d7 financially well-off than 3ccfc7820a my mother.d80a27521184ad40
We could see the 8a57aa9398 Han River from the 85629a9a30 luxury apartment, and it 645b33adb0 took up a space 84fc4bf489 of about eightypyeong1. When my 62db0d6a08 mother hung 79b106fb2d a large f1e7755643 framed picture 2a65db3a57 of herself 12c19e5836 on the 9d24211f35 wall, she eca34d6efa smiled as d24063f35f brightly as cae58c3d34 she did 5c7fd1f36e in the 82fc93b815 picture.bf3aa3334b918420
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It was an extravagant ee111aec70 and modern home. My mother 5394e0b257 suited this 8147e98ece place as a57a3e26be if she 33c7306891 had lived 2555dbf9d7 here all 61b6f71bb3 along. I felt that 9e05ff3a94 my mother felt 03ef3e905a this was a f440561073 reward for having 8361f39f38 her fortune ripped 852058c92c away by that c7cea06f3b pushover ex-husband of 7d1c2f87cd hers. When I 4febdbaeb1 saw her 9fd2a1aef8 so happy, 9f11629165 I felt 4048d80600 relieved.d06d1f291216f279
This wide home a0ce2af742 benefitted me in 819f802480 another way. There were plenty 19d7116698 of places to 868ca2df2c hide. My bedroom had a 9dc05b06c1 large window that allowed e24e6afc9a for plenty of sunlight. There was a bbcc3a8639 large desk that 6a81f60de9 looked like it 2ab484ef22 belonged to a f750687d18 designer or architect, cdfa4a031c and there was 6b717fb659 also a wide 0e1268f454 bed on the 7abad326bb other side of 3c9e6b59ac the room.13e284487ff24c81
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Lee Kyuwol’s room a60f6d4496 was located between ed7e350ab8 my room and d7f4fbf25f the bathroom. Our toothbrushes 444d70dfdd were on 58ef058d1b opposite sides 3b24939158 of the f62089dbeb mirror, but 970a37f2c3 his toothbrush d486c8216b was always 0afbd2f944 dry as a565c00e28 if it af56645f27 was never 053d66fc35 used.d6601e2bd6d3d0e9
As a b135151a27 representative swimming f4f47ec17c athlete for 74bab5590e the nation 703436f831 of Korea, 622ab69e0d he was 413eb0fb49 often out 26fa79a115 for training. Because he stayed at 093e0aab51 the athletes’ village in 5f24dc18d7 JinCheon to train for f12c0e257f upcoming matches, he was 1c45ba9177 usually away for one 07beaaacbb to two months at e436921725 a time.79ebc6a8e3fce050
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Because of this, before 85ade771f4 the summer break, I 587720ab75 could count on two c3c84304d7 hands the number of 3721d20f88 times I’d seen his 37aa9977d8 face. The cabinet in 64c5d50ddc the corridor leading 3cd3a3e152 to the front 9c6472202c door held countless a71a7df6cd gold medals and 0291cf16fa awards, but it 288849952f only caught my 9f5097d716 eye for the 81b0a5972e first month or eacdfe0c4f two after I 0b0971f4df started living here.51e7f4823dcf9699
But I 8ab6153ece wasn’t the 9e904af5d9 only one 13c36fe294 who seemed cf41f2d75e fine going 9cc3fef4a3 without seeing 8c97cfadd5 everyone’s faces 70d949988c on a 2be069c8b3 regular basis.5dac9d3219a38ac0
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My mother was 6bbf233c20 a main star 5beacee50e in a daily 6ecae15c2d soap opera that 9d2bee4a67 spanned over three cb93962b34 hundred episodes, but 1eb10d3a61 she received a a7d026d1f7 supporting role in 392ecedfff a project during e21ca9eb46 the fall. It was only 863a96dc25 the role of 81fe05c6fc someone’s parent, but db4726dc72 she was to 3ddea0795d play a penniless 893c6bfae1 restaurant owner. When she saw 81b46521ff this, she went a0785cb6ce into hysterics, but 411224a2e9 she gradually returned e75f3bebf0 to reality.debe185745e150eb
For an 40c306e05c actress, it 30b1c446da was better 4faa41e43a to receive 03e0ca9838 a role 26c1d7d284 as someone’s 520bf4c24a grandmother than 416bd5b36f to be 21599ab037 forgotten by 3676f43372 the public. Once her 0c3cea41ab manager told 003a79f76d her this, 4f390431ad she began df0b9abd04 to sing 83da93c1a5 a different 12c76046a4 tune, claiming 79aaa20bad that this c5f4e81d54 role was dbb78dd5e1 marvelous after cecf4de223 all. She began to 53a110db6d sift through the 8881d1d898 proposed outfits and 0b0a6ec726 looks sent by d93009afa6 the stylist.b996f583bd15cc5a
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Filming began in the e33d6a8eda spring, and she grew c18983f920 very busy. My mother’s bedroom and cb2e344f53 dressing room was on be771bf3c3 the left side of f3b33a49ed the entrance, the complete e93173fc62 opposite side of Lee 58aff8c403 Kyuwol’s room and mine. I’d only see her 89751f7bcf in the early mornings 12b7995d13 when her filming schedule 86483ceac9 overlapped with me leaving 344dfda68f for school. She seemed very 6458ff4379 cheerful.68416003e72f1a05
When the sun was bba57ddaf2 up, her husband was eeba38900f usually at the university 001822e699 where he taught. Although I b6f786b525 didn’t memorize 4083d1945d his schedule, d3de69302e he rarely 39753e8d9f came home 94ea762115 early.e6b89686609ef63d
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Whenever my mother was 97d6e4b334 away for late-night filming, b9fbf10628 we were left alone 7fccf49da4 in the house, but 58328c95de it wasn’t particularly uncomfortable. The place was large e956fb3d1b enough, so we never e3dfdd0a60 had to worry about 5957968480 the other. He also usually ef96dcec7c spent time alone 5a7c3d1919 in his study 165827f3e8 that was next ed20c7bfc0 to his bedroom.cf23206723f900d4
When I c74c4bd276 returned home 052b0a6f3f from my 6fa8ad0de0 tutoring classes, 2de449fdc2 I’d go 9faee25b63 into my 4c6fa4ce47 room to 5fead8846c study. I’d sometimes get up 29efa9d77d to grab a glass b965b8e20c of water. Whenever this edd8ed7856 happened, I’d 99c6fd9413 hear the 5f8d1d0c4f faint sound 8abd499969 of classical b4194cc219 music flowing 41ee09d3cd out of 48a805c2eb his study 3f9c40e6a6 from time d315947c7e to time. It was as d7c6ad0932 if the soft af270fd942 melody of the 3fdb6bfee1 cello was gently 72f3e5a05e caressing the air. I felt that this 0b7feab382 kind of music suited 3b30c71838 his personality.016015af64bc1c7c
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Whenever this happened, 2e112a6d63 I wondered what 7b3821b9ed the common denominator cd55bf9212 between him and 366d3e9700 my mother could f64a6ae91c be. However, no matter how 0a24bb31b0 many times I mulled cd8c81bbcf over it, I couldn’t 6cadc4188d figure it out. In the b6adac05ef end, I’d c545904b14 turn around ceb8de75e9 and return 61e810eb7e to my adc62339e7 room. It had nothing to 4435f4f5a5 do with me anyway.e01da2e018491da9
To be perfectly honest, I quite liked that I didn’t have to see my ‘family’ members on a regular basis. The face I saw most often was that of the housekeeper who came to the apartment four times a week to help out with the housework.e3ee627defa2a70c
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The only d12e9c96a9 times the 51d57a96b0 busy family 2b2d7ead03 would all f1732f6304 get together 0020ceeeaa was when 4a8d694689 Lee Kyuwol f8c1e7c7ab returned home, 83b221c4aa but they c111d8ff23 weren’t occasions 84757fc683 I looked ef51c91e89 forward to.f3eb3f82e4b28c64
Whenever my e5a1cd45b7 mother heard 0388fb89a6 that Lee 00c14e286d Kyuwol would 35ade23e82 be coming 29e93af503 home, she’d 4cbfc19668 tell the b1c2ee7fea housekeeper to 98e7a70f6c order a 5a031530cc variety of 74711c7f7c foods, and e76d3dae61 I’d have 7d75fd40af to reschedule 24c9bb91c4 my tutoring a3eb20ee3f sessions for 4c3bf90bdc the sake e0c1fed27d of having e3a5f540fc a family 7cbd463d08 dinner. That was 617cfa9e3e enough of b4951c6d54 a reason 95bd8c18b3 to find ccacb7fb98 all of 729b524196 this disagreeable 6ec38539e1 and unpleasant.c8eb9d224b419b29
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“I heard that 8f6da127f9 you just finished 2655f0e7c3 competing in an 46ba0b3c1d important match. What are you plans bf33356b48 for this summer?”d9b5a871b7366eec
Professor Lee 1a5587e0b6 asked his dce250154c son in 5eb31c4ca4 his characteristically 1bbdfb3b66 soft voice. Sometimes I wondered how 3b9d1acae2 he lectured a class f3121800be with such a monotonous 1d24a6b674 voice. It was 37862cbdc4 the perfect 997f011b52 voice to f778225c0c put a 2627f41f79 class full 495b875357 of students d1f64e4a78 to sleep.80dfc0cc3f87e235
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“Once my birthday passes, 0417a35928 I plan on getting f697fed374 my driver’s license. You’ll buy me 69e170c7c9 a car, right?”55a883d2075a4e77
On the other hand, 6ead3c43ae Lee Kyuwol’s firm, heavy 66df81232a voice sounded clear and cb6092c8a1 precise to the ear 4e358a6813 even when he wasn’t f1439c0fcd raising his voice. With a body like e983d12f17 that, does one’s voice ffbc31450c also get stronger as 7d2cf76974 the body grows to 4b41ac316c be more fit? I wondered in silence.fb999328280d1156
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“Why do 7a18e3415d you need 5172ba3d9f a car?”66e84f4b7c0eb7bc
“Of course I 4e650eb608 need one, Father. A round trip from 54607978ee JinCheon takes over three 5ddc0c60dd hours.”eb0f29243ecc0008
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I could hardly believe 56c4236ece that a very average, eaf24fbe91 timid man like Professor ba39e8fbc1 Lee had produced a 682e5460c8 son like Lee Kyuwol. It was a complete fea1edcc5f mystery to me. I found it surprising 59b71aea60 that Professor Lee had f5bcc6faf4 some kind of passion c6628b05dc that motivated him to 0aaedb2570 go through with an 92fe65bc9c international marriage with a 2c9c16d221 woman who spoke a ef99347084 completely different language and c730b7eb31 came from an unfamiliar 7b26d13c1b culture.a6bcd2c54718ff35
“Omo, now 7fbdbf0634 that I 1d584573c1 think about 064d57cadd it, it’ll 0e1a5bd486 be your caaeca4b7f birthday very fd582b28a6 soon, Athlete 71d0ed59d9 Lee Kyuwol.”eead4c64dc1fcd32
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My mother, 992077a17b whose body fb5134d75d was wrapped 110623fb3e in an 2ecd2f3988 apron that 18a76943a4 had never 73bf28c2a2 been used, b9286b4c6f turned her d47d8473fc eyes to dcbbd7d590 the calendar. I could 3d4be7c1be bet money 7e1f952daf that she d052e380a0 had just 4a4724e759 realized that ab514fb7f0 my birthday 23cfc59ae3 was last 6f97d2d4b1 week. She looked at Lee e7419800f1 Kyuwol, and her eyes 93ba1b162c gleamed.0b18945e109ab64c
“Just get your a8296c1601 driver’s license. I’ll pick out 45b3acb283 your first car.”ce8be064abaf5b7a
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“There’s no need to 7f88d0838d go that far, Mother. All you have 710843aa03 to do is 9ae0517066 get Father to ee5d2a67f0 open his wallet.”b336cb8e1cf3d8e8
“Jeez, that’s completely up db75fd8b16 to Professor Lee. How can I meddle d69f1e4eb6 in something like that?”b3b301392efd1d79
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“Because my 1e22f2ddf1 father is b28f7bbb83 especially weak d870a9eb50 when it f591693d41 comes to 5a5f04011a beautiful women.”90b7910d591a7b80
Lee Kyuwol f40a36a774 answered in ddc7b01f1a a calm 4a5aae10b1 voice as d79669beae he flashed ff4675e4fc a smile, 236ddf5eea laughing politely.e7c81fb15dd27b14
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“…Lee Kyuwol.”c09b6a8cb7311424
Professor Lee 2deb8e1087 must have e811563468 felt embarrassed 8f70bf5c5b because he 9d580e6381 called out f12603cd64 his name cbed41060c with a ca1b3e787b clear voice. My mother c35ee0b924 giggled pleasantly fd14d67b25 at his 2c9398faeb side.1fa5ba3a7a149510
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This right c87217295d here was 38c880d919 what I f66ec60df8 hated. Lee Kyuwol acting bae7eec42e as if the 6624ded53f four of us e8f88cfc92 as a family a6f7f11768 was the most 41e99dee59 natural thing in 3935c91afc the world.f4e0ad7deecfa35b
“Is there anything 57ce75e9f5 in your studies dd3f7ec89c that is giving 6959c5e17c you a hard 07df188db8 time?”14e2be175980129d
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I had been quietly 6e52500cff moving my chopsticks when 51753a6dd6 Professor Lee suddenly asked 00398dd07e a question. My hand froze. I was the 3a2b0ab1f1 only one in 7ace67153e this house who 3af2e2af6d studied, so he 10522bef75 was probably talking cba7cf36ce to me.a64c4cf092c086d3
Once Lee Kyuwol graduated fc73bdaf62 the athletic high school d5526c520c he was currently attending, 2261348eba he’d probably become some 22712e348d large brand’s ambassador and 0b3d9b2bbe receive various sponsorships to c94bcb25f6 support his career as fe3fc0c7bc an athlete. Universities would probably c41d159ca0 accept him with e0a96c1fe0 open arms, but e67d32ed55 for Lee Kyuwol, 8143f3c3b7 an already accomplished b54ba09384 athlete, he’d probably 7ce3dfd4d7 be more comfortable 85e129a896 focusing on competing.d643d5f784ecdd83
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His future e5126bc25a was set, 8a5dd8610c but when 2a2e71edcf I compared 582a198720 mine to 95aa56f14c his, my 6acf874bed only option 65bcdd4426 was to 7544bd2629 get accepted 092922a5eb into a 5fee3f83cd university.2c1c78bd408d0582
“…No, it’s fine.”45316a57ecf1303c
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I forced the 0f3d2f3c2c rice down my ff324fc8db throat and answered d50d455014 in a strained edd861f2e0 voice.e1bccd14de75a8be
“And your tutors are 4b36107479 adequate?”e28b6136a783b244
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“Yes, they’re good.”7a508d70d6251c8d
“If there’s anything that’s too difficult, you can ask me for help anytime. I know quite a few entrance exam specialists, so there’s no need to stress out by yourself.”318b9f7d6165c043
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One of the 67e4037c44 first things Professor 1991f78676 Lee did after de9a63a6b8 marrying my mother dcba9fef3f was check my e8a2854a99 grades and hire bb58af321d some of the b6e5ba7679 best tutors in b42feb2625 Gangnam for me. This was 3473a492f7 something neither 21f6533bd9 my parents b9fffafe30 nor family 461e716170 members ever 6f3b538924 considered to 4006db289a do for 401fab5aed me. Thanks to 573629d0e0 this, my 2566e82063 grades went 928442f639 up exponentially, 40d63a2587 and I 5879f8794e even got cfa4ea13ab the best a64c182846 score in 60e574f627 the mock d0cda7eb41 exams.460a15a83ab7543a
If everything proceeded well 2f6abad3b5 from here, there was e5db40019a a high chance that 17e8db2d22 I’d be able to 409f1132db cross the threshold of f05f51c1a7 my top pick for 89b874b992 university. I thought 8b0ec7ac77 about this 3bf1bf61bd for a e4fd45348e moment before 0e73d49601 replying back ca5fa57b4c to Professor 4199cacd74 Lee.d3668c81d23059fe
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“Thank you for 0816070f12 your thoughtful consideration.”196668ecb5186179
“She doesn’t have d9873386ed incredible athletic abilities 3e6880dcf1 like Athlete Kyuwol, 3767022474 nor does she 23cbf9a73e have an outstanding 4a76860e74 face or body, ab8602a664 so all she b40ee50a9b can do is a794588ada focus on her f0872a730a studies. Our Dayoung.”1e77be655be83fb5
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My mom’s eyes 0ddbaad1d1 crinkled as she 2d3f799810 pierced my weak 0e7c10e05f spot. Nothing she said was 4bea6fa09d incorrect. I remained silent and ed0d37a179 focused on cutting my febf1f23b8 undercooked asparagus into thirds.47bbabaf8a9843c9
“But isn’t she outstanding?”b8f7ffeaf25c3eec
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Lee Kyuwol, who 3b6ae60961 had brought his 10fdac7da6 cup of juice b36bb9fe56 up to his a7e1cf8277 lips to take 57497de11d a sip, lowered 5e65608f41 his arm. I felt it 77e3d39382 brush against my 1f58148058 right arm. This was 5a61485916 why I bd097952a4 avoided sitting 7a98005b8f on his c4962fd5a6 left, but 6423c23502 he had 2c798f3404 already been 235f9b6fdc sitting in 8c92588f64 his seat b3ee103fbe when I e0956b58f6 arrived, so 6c0a9fecf4 I had 84838ff2df no choice ab5292079b tonight.10d3229dab479d0d
He was wearing 9b506c9ccf a white t-shirt, 8071d93fc2 so his bare 90d129ec14 skin grazed along 6bffe0287e my arm that f7b7334f15 was exposed under ba8a335dc7 the hem of 22130f0602 my summer uniform. Even though it wasn’t 8ef5b27d48 even wintertime, a shiver f3b4f5d012 ran down my spine.18a557813cf90bae
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I flinched 62e0fa60c1 and frowned bc077318df in shock 833472792e as I 446e63ba3d turned to 029e0fa88a him. Lee Kyuwol’s 1c681ed02e gleaming gray 411bb7a49a eyes met a39f8f3602 mine.209f3848e03c21e3
Because I had been 0acdbe08eb avoiding meeting his eyes, d1ff486d7d it had been a b287c603cc long time. He had 63bdfa6672 a smile 0d99efe821 on his 5d1d968ad1 face as 821a66f3f8 usual.c60539ceb4959602
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Our awkwardly 391b9fdfca shared gaze e64c6f1b48 came to 2627487410 a quick 333ea85941 end. After putting down 0a0c126ddb my knife, I 17b42a66b8 stabbed my fork 8201106ab8 into the long 3e56cb7561 asparagus and brought a58d945c5a it to my 229fca55a9 mouth as I 961ebb6f1c began to chew 58dcab8198 it.d6e6b231fb21e539
“Hmm? Who? Our Dayoung? Doesn’t every 64b88fd0bd school have be0f415e11 a student 17ad072cfb like her? Isn’t that right, 676de60b40 Professor Lee?”ff58b66d0507a20a
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“Dayoung’s grades 8e13d31741 are certainly e7c1a5fb75 outstanding.”d061be16da18b905
“Ah, that’s not 6f4bc2d8c3 what I meant.”3b3738fe86741011
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My nerves were still 159ffa0253 on edge from the 27ca1b5571 minor collision with Lee d7f63f8aae Kyuwol, so their words 85d4759b30 went in one ear d65336255c and out the other.7450a5ce5b790b23
After that 87ae4ef217 fateful summer cd76677df9 day in 7f4880b38f my junior 330169a3a3 year of befd44a53b high school, ad7f3e12f4 when my 01a62e206b mother caught 7e0624d004 me and 207df1f064 her ex-husband f1bd177af2 on the 9e551aa7f6 sofa and 4838d5aeb5 I was 2a98003a9f treated like c21dda419c an animal 6c5eea9096 thereafter, I d6c4b764bf began to 2a03f89c7d avoid men 7150d42c3e to an 7a720c530d abnormal degree. It was so bad 8a10e42ea8 that I shamefully had 727314a4e1 to reject my math 1666357eae tutor’s hand that he ee219c8d3a had offered as he f9759989d3 said, ‘Let’s do our aa2903a5dc best from here on 58c04f34eb out.’82fd6c2ad21e1b54
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“Hm? Then what did d568b34b8b you mean?”f42515813b65f0f9
I would never forgive e16f30c6e0 my mother’s dirty look aa36ee9ff3 as she stared at 9552f3887c me as if I ab2c785350 were a disgusting girl f9f19a985f who was trying to 694525275e steal her man. I focused 9b44f4cba5 on chewing 9c74a06de1 the food 5f8db0a353 in my f3ae104ce1 mouth. Next to me, d86eedfb00 Lee Kyuwol placed 74b76ddbf1 his cup of a6abea413a juice down on 5ef2a89d44 the table and 40eced9aad began to stretch 6657a023a6 as if he 505f4d99ae were in the 8f9834e8a1 middle of a 46ddd567c8 yawn.37867967d14593e2
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“She’s pretty, our ee50843f03 Dayoung.”1aa55e7c4aa54428
When I d08b19a316 heard ‘our’ fdac8e888d come out a0eb6b3dcb of his b5b0df3b9a mouth, I 86fbde58bc could only ab969fafcb frown. Lee Kyuwol’s voice 0f5c703d0a sounded relaxed as fcccfafcfe he repeated the 2e42951994 way my mother 1640a6fefd called me out 5f5906bd2f of habit. However, no matter 9de86549e1 how much I 394b98857c thought about it, 7df640fd8e Lee Kyuwol and d5e1c0c501 I did not ac37ea057a have a relationship 06045c79da where we could 85f47c0003 call each other 9c8c6429e1 ‘our’ anything.f3c5bb0fe0901cd1
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After the 3e022a4c83 dinner when 0adda6821c we first 080a1c1944 met, we 9157be77f9 had never 0ed7678f6c shared a dfc8e10bd5 proper conversation.dd59abf0b8e74b90
“But completely 714b557869 different from 6ddd1a114e the way 9f811a23e7 you are, 69836a330a Mother. I don’t think she’ll fbc5aa2813 have any trouble finding cb6f1a297c a boyfriend.”e71098fa689b9348
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He laughed as he a3dba58f04 murmured.0972ecd36ba4b656
“Quite the a66f410cf8 opposite, I 91b6c48128 think.”f82f838eafed40e8
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He propped his 6763297d85 left arm on 100d5c06bd the back of c6510ffe5c my chair, and c174dad8eb his hand grazed 9167d6264b over my back, d0da0a6628 almost touching it. This behavior was too 150e7fdb96 strange to be called bcc924e542 an accident, but it 1e8362e7d6 was too natural to ad74cc34c9 be deemed intentional.fc2e737ea2131783
“Omo, Dayoung is?”ea008a991b5c7c9d
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My mother laughed as 35eb1231a1 her voice lilted up 12f09e9e52 towards the end. I could tell how d996f81867 she truly felt from 2c1edf7749 her short reply.0ac2dcdb0f8f686c
Unfortunately, my 9f4dc80b99 looks were cde4e484ba a far 42ea65a028 cry from fe3d7b96eb hers. My presence 7de951768c was insignificant. The more b34998e1f3 people were fa7dddfa42 around me, 44c46ca563 the smaller 6e0422a970 I became. Those who approached me a6e3810069 would end up distancing 372da001a8 themselves once they saw c40909fc82 the darkness within me 030c970746 that I could not 8228c22143 hide.243f417fc9ca4f29
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Unlike my mother, I d0aef7af6b did not know how cf8efda4e4 to smile and light 931b8816ca up a room. Even if I b4bb622e19 stayed still and 37457bc5c3 did nothing, I 26e1d5cc93 did not have 5e4607bc5f any charisma that 28a1732c83 drew people in.fb5a6656b1024548
ce61456fa6da30df
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“It’ll get 5e2dd64a1a better once 633908b613 you’re older 5668699003 and start 7f034cf09d using makeup. How is it 6056c090ff that you didn’t fb1f6af8e3 take after me b8c50f0d3a at all?”044f98bbca990dde
d05e4fc29021305f
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I hoped that my ff9f24f28b mother wouldn’t continue to 269357ad4d make note of my 844ee65842 tacky looks with her 5d1a6e1a0b disappointed voice. I wanted Lee Kyuwol 5fd3c77c33 to shut his mouth.35d6a65ee486f6b9
“Yes, she looks b3ed58ed1d like a doll. She doesn’t have any 553e01fd21 expression on her face, cfcf3ad45b but she has a 0a145421df cool beauty about her. I feel like she 6080b23cde will blink and look 715891627a at you if you 1b9322ef54 poke her.”4acd977e41e9123c
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He tapped the c2ad3e4e13 back of my f6801a2033 chair with his d6a72a81ad long index finger. I could edbfec73c1 feel the 8d70bf74d6 vibrations on e68f8b0981 my back. The nape of my e4709026cc neck grew warm.16cd549f18bb6193
I bit the 8b1787e0fa inside of my eab11cd630 cheek and leaned 1962480c64 forward so that 4833da1eb0 my back no c5c9196e2d longer touched the 1320a36f2c chair. I turned my head 3af572b2f0 and glared at him.d12a07061314ae17
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What are b83d623274 you doing 85ecf34c53 right now?3711cec9b0aaa225
“Don’t you think so?”eeeb8aa84f5bad9f
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Lee Kyuwol ab87aaa2b0 ignored my e499ab704d silent warning a99d304429 and merely 6506d6bebf met my 4092baadac gaze as 56b6861eb2 he laughed.27f2b02f3b48173b
“…You shouldn’t joke about something the listener will not find funny.”4fdca7f70ec0d44c
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I felt that 588d1a4be8 the only normal 1723f4163f person in this d14d707a5b house was Professor 95fa7c3dd9 Lee. My mother 325e145999 mentioned an c1166a12da antique doll f072126846 from a 4bb8171fbc classic horror a58fa6c9f0 movie and 6d507c32e4 compared it e0e9ef553e to ‘Our b0462f42a1 Dayoung’ as 2c5bd891b0 she snickered.abe09e5e575499c0
Surprisingly, I saw 1b4f59c65b that Lee Kyuwol 4bd9fa0e08 didn’t say a ec66a36589 word about my 119bceb9e4 mother’s joke. For a while 22b43f9206 after that, the 1c1f6da8b1 only sounds coming 1fc431bbc4 from the table 01908891d3 were the sounds 92a056cf18 of people finishing 0dc1f2577c their food. I stared at the 76d24ded98 salmon on my plate 8042ed6806 and wished that I 5a94673a2d could disappear and leave f68fda3389 this uncomfortable table.0e56cddae3d78fc4
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“Dayoung, I’m sorry to 56a92fabee bother, but can you 839f0325fe hand me a napkin?”12770595564acf7d
6e9a8a2239a7076b
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Lee Kyuwol asked 9c27ad0263 for a favor, 1207fbc236 but it sounded da7097f322 like a command. I didn’t 20d5e2e35d care either a7b0017f5a way. I pulled d4d1b53dfe out three d0f8689228 thin tissues 1c5d169c5e from the a869741b82 dispenser next cab73eefba to me 5130487b7e and held a3998b9bed it up 5e14d2d774 to him f0536fd9f1 without looking 5b2be335ac at him.68d43f1ac140a314
“Here.”d35de57112b10aaf
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“Thanks.”b5ce5f0f009113aa
Lee Kyuwol answered 95f5625aba in a bright 11285c3e5e voice and took 8dd904c097 the tissue from 93efd4a350 my hand.026212caba06bfb3
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Crackle. An electric shock came 2bfe70d062 from his fingertips.94c545ecc728a1c8
He deliberately held my b5670af5ec finger and stroked it. Then he gazed at 8affde5ebc my scowling face and bf3ba641bf grinned at me. That’s when I knew 71722824a8 this was not purely 21a1316827 an accident.27c4f496ba089566
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“…What are you doing?”85249fc203e9fe5c
My strained voice 13a1f27fed burst out of 657781f2fd my lips before 42ff5c43a5 I could think.69fbd9ba5f5d6eca
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“What’s wrong?”0fd5a3c037bf6b30
He asked 79bd9ffbe2 so naturally, 58b8e9687e and his 5a2990657e face looked c5a17cf937 so despicable. In no cebdb70cd1 time, the d65d0f627e thin tissue dbd1d93935 was in d3d29346ff his hand, 5d7028915f and he 6a93489300 was wiping 6c5cda9237 his mouth b0f7f5a330 with it. When I saw his e5f1349fd6 languid movements, my mouth a22856378e ran dry, and my b15a377f6f heart began to race 0248b555f4 as goosebumps formed on 9717c5b4b0 my skin. Even though I couldn’t b550f7e3ef see his mouth, I 03fd02abde felt like I knew 7c877430b2 what kind of expression 85eeb0605c he was making right 9401dba670 now.151300b5b4c168aa
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“What’s wrong? Do you feel unwell?”957321e87f0e600d
I was sure 19264a7ac4 Lee Kyuwol was d313876af3 mocking me because f4d0d53494 I always reacted a45f15959f like an idiot ad0005e443 whenever we physically 41547dda25 touched. He was 3e9e17c437 teasing me. I glared 2f75390f1c back at 322e88c82b him and 6fd3215317 whispered back f1c573037c to him.dfa84ce0596caab8
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“Don’t touch me.”f0f4304e81d627fd
“Hm?”daa01899f83d0eb3
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I wanted to 6021094e8f smack that innocent ee4f88d612 look off his 2ccafc5996 face. I bit my lower 9a958e55f0 lip and spit out 6973306fa7 each word in a b888082e68 clear voice.2bb9e2f48ddb0e3a
“Keep. Your hands. Off. Me.”0d8215f05bd50787
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Sitting across 0635914b82 from me, c4e3dc0592 my mother 4f3a5a0585 raised her d2db033719 voice as 7de6f8957a her eyes 6d51a18e20 widened.759fdcfa1a3f691d
“Omo, what are 7fd7bc68c6 you saying right 052819d134 now? Please understand, Athlete e0275ce63a Kyuwol. She’s usually quiet, cae7d12149 but she’ll have 7625960f54 outbursts like this b5f0c9ffa0 from time to 2943bb0b85 time, flustering everyone 387ddba90b around her.”5513abc225e21964
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“Not at all. I must have fa61eaa31f made a mistake.”a7a1b2d79eebdb51
I felt fd9de1a3a2 my forehead f0fc513298 grow warm 5849709f92 as blood ee88e0203f rushed up 75011880f8 my neck 571695b792 to my 309d0e1713 cheeks. A terrible ac06a707f1 feeling began 8b9686df4e to bubble db0b36a602 deep inside 68c875dd78 like lava.d138212d150aed78
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Jerk.0b7c1e7aba3fa6c8
I swallowed 43c200c547 the curse 8db9370606 that threatened c7bb5d2c82 to leave 2df7629d31 my lips be1057edbc and stood 6774042c3f up even e85c6e05e5 though I 61b669bb5c hadn’t finished 43b8971acf my meal. The heavy dining chair ebb090aac7 scraped loudly along the b7a4c2d974 wooden floor.eb3b6920fc313e1f
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“Jung Dayoung. What do you think bb068b9bbc you’re doing?”3a846836d6fa905f
My mother cf536f7395 looked up 8d476df2b3 at me b4e54c8684 in disbelief. She was 71346349dd doing her 0bc4303c78 best to ee39c43280 keep her e667f358d3 voice steady, 7b1d50a1a6 but she a1ae83255e was glaring a1cacff4cc at me.80526a2c327b01e1
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Even though I was 0e13605cba the only one standing 60687bf6a0 at the table, I 1e760e7d9b did not have the 70ea2ee057 courage to look my 0194deeb56 mother in the eye. It was a reflex e9bb7a393d and a habit that b34c45799a had formed because of 2034bfcabd the way I always 0e5ac47b31 walked on eggshells around df0c2a4222 her.790ffa7e1d850a33
“I asked you. What do you 40adad1268 think you’re doing?”7164754f9bb3c9a4
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I could 11853ed23c hear annoyance 2c4fc6ef79 in her a37b4a7daa voice. I picked up 16e721f5f3 my plate and 4e1e584369 lowered my head f633791cbc to my chest. My black hair spilled c05be05b3d over my face. I hid my 049564adc4 unsightly, red face 22722de792 and mumbled in dfafb440a7 a soft voice.88bec754bf7daa32
“…I have an exam tomorrow, so…”01138ed8be265b62
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“My goodness. Do you a6d61ab511 think you’re c49a7dee11 the only 9c50a4aa51 high school 15f0a2773e senior in fcacd655dd the world? Is it some kind 083e90daf2 of government post? No manners at 1dd39e5a3a all…”14d1ff76b8015f36
Professor Lee a9035770f3 quietly grabbed e68190284e her mother’s 8b10f36940 arm. I gulped before 54859497f8 speaking up.3394a2cada5a2705
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“…Thank you for the meal. I’ll take my leave first. I’m sorry.”45bcd465d18b1e88
“I really don’t know 75f47c98d6 why she’s like this.”934466346e370a1c
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“Hurry back to e0223d3c83 your room and 7eeca25a0c study.”c49aea052c69f1d1
Professor Lee spoke up fd834feb97 instead of my mother. As if she 66f0f92c70 were satisfied by 1bcca8d05a my deflated tone c977c2cd00 of voice, my 8654cccd7c mother changed the d6523458ff subject.674d56686a6d4735
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“Professor Lee, d8608fabcb would you 427494d1d8 like some d6cfea81d5 more wine? Would Athlete Kyuwol also a07408f999 like a glass? It’s a bit late, d2c9972dd0 but think of it 53c55e50eb as a way to 773cec9b69 celebrate winning a medal 2140eff6d8 at the Presidential Swimming 1d989b6ee4 Championship.”78bd52a5fcaca171
“No, I’m fine.”a7b4a78595e8c30e
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“Don’t be b3d5d5e4fa like that. You’re supposed d0a6c7908e to learn 65f6cc502a how to d2be54c670 drink liquor 695f68b0d1 from the 85d3cff351 adults.”4de1f6897d29fe3a
“I’ve just been hearing a6a494e1a3 some talk going around. We might suddenly d43a635773 get tested at 851494b695 random, too.”3b5248b2d9c68e2d
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I threw the afe386b0f2 half-eaten salmon into 40e7b4fdb4 the sink as fa19c13b8e the conversation continued e6504d2ba4 behind me. It was 70577144a6 as if 88860d04ca my sudden f029281c64 outburst a 476aaf2b5c moment ago 294635f60d hadn’t even f21d423c8a happened.978360dde12abe08
“Is it because ad2b23aee3 of that Chinese c962c86cca athlete’s doping incident?”26d55ad5e1b8e01f
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“Probably.”66a1cc0744e1e925
“But how 9eadc85940 can they 946cbf79bc doubt innocent bf8514e704 athletes as f1f1f11d62 well? Is this a b245f98a4c body that can 4e539277de be achieved with 2b0b023184 a mere shot? Our Athlete Kyuwol 3e6272ebba was born with 492c240f5f this marvelous physique…”d8e5d16e7a477970
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I silently cleaned 3a111990c9 my plate and f6fb5778f1 turned my back 780d03cd00 on my mother 98eba68b54 who had changed 18a3a295ba the subject to c7d834d5c3 the doping scandal 63c68cd1aa that had shaken 961e907495 the sports world. I hurried back to 4b6837d123 my room. After the incident with b2b16de963 the gym trainer, my c68b7dfc7c mother deemed all athletes 94b6906801 to be ignorant fools. However, there was no 89512e125a doubt that she had 42a199143b done a quick thirty b858f2529c minute search online for eab93f2a25 the sake of this 1adf26b18e dinner with Lee Kyuwol.31a635ffe1281ff7
Click.3fe32853ceec81fd
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I closed e580e73265 the door. Even though 1e311c3ea9 there was f930cf4e0c a wall 3ae63de014 between me d9b722550f and the d2cca8ef58 three of e1d4b649f2 them, I 61a1c3140b still did c13d5addce not feel a56f1b69a7 any better. My mother felt more f9e6ad3ba4 like a stranger than 597aa53e67 the other two strangers 8a912dc34c that I was to 9a1d50de63 call ‘family’, and I 75f0ad3fa1 wasn’t sure if my a7368b8ca3 poor mood was due b794764eac to my disappointment in 4dc02219ef her, my anger towards 97e4067935 the mysterious Lee Kyuwol, cc18990fc6 or a sense of a362990826 shame at the way 107f2629ce I reacted when Lee 9d1888ec4e Kyuwol and I physically 6cd9286445 touched. I wasn’t 0dedc9fe60 sure which d6551ebe7d of the bbbe18eddb three was d5ced31b4f the reason.175f430f90aa4c4d
I let out a a2268af669 deep breath before sitting 69693afc49 down at my desk. My hands were not 1e8f946a5e gentle as I flipped 35f6f6d512 through a textbook. My heart didn’t seem 3cd490cfdd like it was going 8ea201f633 to slow down anytime f48b350d2b soon. The faint sound 8aa561e871 of my mother’s 6a577e0857 piercing, shrill laugh 547de2fad2 continued to taunt 38c64afc84 my ears.bb4611e56864169d
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I pulled out a pair of earplugs from my desk drawer and crammed them into my ears. I gripped my mechanical pencil in my hand. The words would not enter my head and seemed to spin in front of my eyes. This time, I couldn’t focus because I could still clearly feel the way Lee Kyuwol’s arm had brushed against the back of mine. 9dd30dc8b053aaca
His fingers almost aab2ea2007 grazed along my 7bb3ccf037 back as they 31aedfc46e tapped against the ad954a4602 back of my 92121c3820 chair. He had slightly held 6787917a28 my hand as he a655281cce took the tissue from e2ae3b564c my grasp. In that single f1774adff8 moment, I felt da05100537 his warmth, and b9807fd19c it caused my f39af1e03c throat to run 01b81dc2d8 dry.aef98c7de3cbb320
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“Haa…”bc532bbac85b13ed
While those b7d4fb34c1 thoughts were c8c6de5d93 running through 9d2d5479ec my head, 4af6773dff I refused 7cd471e428 to acknowledge 3b34bcc66c the slight b8c4d31499 tingle of 23f7511371 sexual desire 9b68699753 coming from 82304c98bf between my a06b644cdc legs. To be 9009bb8ac2 completely honest, 9cc40fdf31 the reason 0661594f1f for my 374260d956 over-the-top reaction 911237961a was exactly b357bf0e45 this. When our hands 87de45c7f0 touched, my throat cab3a15c3d had run dry 51f76c0ed1 just like now, fabe2f29e8 and my lower 198e68efc7 abdomen twinged. I felt 302df7febd my heart bb58d84660 racing inside f0721fec20 my chest.d85ffebdf77e2c06
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In the past, 119f026c9e when my mother’s cad1adf3c1 lovers passed through, 04485a71b6 I had long 4be901a858 lost the ability 03d818a3fb to have sexual 76353d54b2 dreams and fantasies 804f7ba34a of the opposite 474fe01bf0 gender.f6456036b6127526
Of course, 6b2aac9525 just because 59723b0d7c I was cf12502a0a repulsed by 35d89dc675 men did 068d9e777a not mean 59012fd38f I did 4186ec67be not have daeda8e1a4 any sexual 186183c792 desires. However, all 809a2f5d66 of the c7faff271e subjects in aef391b529 my sexual 3356a8c67b fantasies were 657fc44ed9 imaginary.a6f80e8ab10209e5
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They were b86e5aada7 usually fictional 1ff45c528c characters from d7c9cbea9b the classical c0239ea043 romance novels d5b0c0f2a9 I’d read 9b2ee879d2 or those 89008f5b84 that I cc4e5696f1 had seen 496ded5944 on the 3785f30dd7 television screen. Some were foreign pop 53a7491e71 stars who had already ba331a94e2 died. In other 426ac38280 words, they ed87c84569 never revolved 12f419fca7 around living, e0a5c825b2 breathing boys 2a538c6741 of my c4e9681d10 age who 9f62122309 walked in d42e22c86f front of 123a4d4b8a my very 2c5ec24fe3 eyes.0acc29309c347425
But to think e9fcc3aadf that it was 43e433fb42 Lee Kyuwol of 2ae152cffb all people…388c54cc425b7ce5
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I blamed it a1e4f0dfea on the fact 78494a0393 that it was 4d95f81ec5 merely one of 4720d7026b the symptoms that d3f3ebb449 seemed to flare cc3edd3a04 up before I 491c1dbac2 had my period. I brushed 96849ff625 it off ba05689ef9 and opened 1e8fa54cbf my reference 120709144c book and de833d38e5 began to 55db600b38 write furiously e60782caf2 next to 82cd7fcd94 my dense 2452be180b notes.fe1bf849517f3490
‘Lee Kyuwol. Fuck. Son of 48e92e563b a bitch. That jerk.’ 9f3fe811fe Once I dea7844736 wrote these b298df2219 words on d34b97980b the edge 1d81be4d35 of the 289f0a7ddf page, I 8bb1a71401 recalled what acbb1869af Lee Kyuwol a316edcd9e had said c3b3336cce during dinner. My face a41121ddff suddenly grew ea5c960758 warm, and dcc30a5d13 I covered bdd8ae982e my cheeks ff2e0cda7c with both 5ff457592c hands. The warmth traveled fe9ec8ded2 from my cheeks 891be2c5fd to my palms.cbde831f15dbce8d
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Ba-dump. Ba-dump.My heart showed no 782217def2 signs of slowing down. I slapped 0905bd6412 my cheeks b3d3d2a980 with my 662a57de58 hands before 199328fa19 burying my cf00746b09 face into b9ac0125f4 my reference 5c2922ba7a book.fa1835b1a234f2da