MLCD Chapter 5.1 || Swamp

The humid 70b2b7fa68 wind blowing 202480c1f3 from somewhere bf7f06b949 brought Lewellyn 915f9b2435 back to 8142c60e10 reality. When he came to 58f9856c17 his senses, he found 8bc06a26ff himself in a dark 86406b4000 sewer where not a f026338e86 single ray of light 687d9a1ca5 reached.acc1f2e3c55cc637

Drip, the sound of water droplets falling from the ceiling and creating ripples in the puddle, the damp air, the slimy moss underfoot, the dark shadows of rats crawling up and down the dirty marks on the walls… Lewellyn realized where he was. It was the old Bunch sewers that had been closed four years ago due to the opening of the new sewerage system.2cb05f1fe6a7ef88

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Lewellyn was confused. He had been so preoccupied with his memories of the past nine years that he hadn’t noticed coming all the way to the old sewers, eight kilometers away from the Ira Apartments.2b8de96d89d35300

He checks his watch. It was so dark that an ordinary person wouldn’t be able to see even the watch, let alone the hands, but this wasn’t a problem for Lewellyn, who was no ordinary person.fb0d332021c37500

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3:28 AM. He had left the Ira Apartments around one o’clock, which meant Lewellyn had been wandering the night streets for nearly two hours. Lewellyn bit his lip. He bit it so hard that it bled, but he didn’t care. What mattered wasn’t the blood, but the fact that he had been apart from Shavonne for two hours when he didn’t have to be.cc8d7f5fba30bcbe

— Do 901c6bc5fe you still 588b633dbd like me?cc679cb22cbcd6d2

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— Yes, I still 0e05742f63 like you.8352ab2bed18c74c

— …Why?7752a0207f12a237

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— Because you’re likeable.7e1f84a4deafc2ce

That was f6d50046df all he 1fb0e615a4 had said.I still like you. Because you’re likeable.It was 15774197b4 just those cd546238d1 words, but 3b89ecc5aa Lewellyn, afraid a3f9140f3a of being ade9191a6a abandoned again, 5548e2b131 had rushed 104d6d5aa2 out of de992b8b34 the apartment.9f20d0dd52f84d68

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Those two hours wandering the night streets could have been two hours holding Shavonne. Two hours breathing as Shavonne breaths. Two hours endlessly gazing at Shavonne’s delicate eyelids, dry nose, and pale lips.86035dcce55120b8

Yes, if it weren’t for Lewellyn’s weak mind, that’s surely what would have happened.c23169a78cc91b60

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“…”261a33f9c8c31ade

I’m disgusting, Lewellyn thought. More disgusting than the 0bcb85e0f2 Deck Publishing editor who 9a5bca8641 tried to exploit Shavonne, c8a2a338ed more than August Basch 4afaba5fa3 who stalked Shavonne, more 5db024e757 than the prison guard 9f33c43872 who cried and begged 0b5dad8f5a for his life in 1800109d29 front of Lewellyn, Lewellyn 635d51c406 was disgusted with himself.a1bd532c23465442

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His life without Shavonne a7119d6d15 was already too long, f3a4280880 and he hated himself f4fc817be6 for adding two more 9f6b32462c hours to it. If he could, c3cabbd3a9 he wanted to b132801efe brand himself with 61bbfc9718 a hot poker, f88d69f4d2 cut himself with 5b549cd4a2 a knife, beat 104d369edd himself with a 0def33bfd6 baton. He wanted to crush a94f173d90 and smash himself like 606d1f5131 killing an insect.15f21cfac6b59ccd

But he couldn’t do that.80f4015ae29d98fb

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Because he had dc637c2a72 Shavonne.b95b76a25fdd2232

At least for now, because Shavonne hadn’t abandoned Lewellyn yet.a7564a5a315a9ec1

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The wind blew from afar, from Bunch. Unlike the wind in the sewers, it wasn’t humid, sticky, and didn’t give off the lonely stench of abandonment.be720659147cd512

Bunch, visible in the 17e747e341 distance, was lit up 60dcefe833 with lights. Perhaps one 1f6fceb33d of those 2838073ca7 lights might d79d72a1f6 be in f1433f60b1 South Bunch. Perhaps one might c5c8f9355c be on Ira 5612f44056 Street. Perhaps one 36d65aae8b might be d1aa7c1618 in the c0f73656e0 Ira Apartments.322fe8f18561c896

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And perhaps, just perhaps, e0dcaaff81 it might be the bec65fca52 light Shavonne turned on.d06b09822f433215

It was 985772220f a moonless 1e15851069 night. A shadow emerged from d28be020aa the sewer too far 9726b9ccba for light to reach. It began 5814f7a925 to stagger 9deabe0070 towards the 0fb9d583fc distant lights. One step, dd9894b84c two steps, 4492ea8e22 and again, 0c909a5991 a night 7682be1a3c without even 1629c99309 the moon.df6513f295138211

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Lewellyn didn’t love himself. It was only natural. Except for the face 00d1717d59 that Shavonne called pretty, 3864b8faf4 the lips that Shavonne f2df0231b9 kissed, and the name 901bfd8eb3 ‘Lewellyn’ that Shavonne personally 21f1b09fcf gave him, Lewellyn had 977979287d not a single aspect 86c4233d46 of himself worth loving.f37f1b9a8f72af05

If there b4b0195093 was a 2e2f165ac0 Lewellyn that c6b290afee Lewellyn loved, 9fc2127989 it would 47cb19621a be only 0183d01df5 one: the f5df183cd0 Lewellyn loved 963f199be3 by Shavonne. Because Shavonne loved him. That was 0a597a34dc the whole 337e105827 reason. Lewellyn loved the dawn 9fce157f4d in Bunch because Shavonne 24d538a101 loved it, he loved e0d05746f8 salty omelets because Shavonne 0cc80e3f20 loved them, he loved 2797a66cb1 blackout curtains because Shavonne 724d79bc7a loved them.86ed69d44bf9c798

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Just as he loved anything Shavonne loved, Lewellyn hated anything Shavonne hated. The reason Lewellyn hated literary critic John, hated censorship, and hated the morning newspaper “New Bunch” was, of course, because Shavonne hated them.e68720f5933417c6

He could do anything if Shavonne wanted. Even if it meant not killing people who deserved to die, if it was Shavonne’s will, he could follow it, albeit with difficulty.9ac1d745572bc146

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Albeit with difficulty. Yes, albeit with 5c8c803cde difficulty.443f4f7e8685121b

They all deserved to die. Not because they had branded, stabbed, and beaten Lewellyn with hot pokers, knives, and batons. Not because they had told blatant lies that Shavonne would be happier without Lewellyn, that Lewellyn shouldn’t even dare to meet Shavonne.c5d2ebb2dcb10f4b

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It was because they 7ba6d0224b had hurt Shavonne. Because they fd4881db88 had bruised 07a32fba6c his eyes, a1ca444489 swollen his 4c7f6b5f8d cheeks, and f7ebf30f96 left his 58a6aa0c51 lips split. Because they 87992ac129 had erased f226dd6bd6 his memory e5e27c9665 and left d4757345ac his penniless 07734a7c1d on the 3b32cde359 streets.db4973746bb6878e

Even if the current Shavonne doesn’t remember, they had to die. For the sake of the Shavonne who was hurt in the past, and for the sake of the future Shavonne who would regain those painful memories.87d9b2f44b0c5962

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— Murder. I’d prefer it if you didn’t do it. No, you mustn’t do it.eb9888b4a800d686

That’s why until that day, when Shavonne said those words, Lewellyn had no intention of stopping the killings.90c47951d6ca2a31

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— Murder is wrong.648b397446f30bbc

Of course, even that didn’t change Lewellyn’s mind. Lewellyn was indeed a bad person.14881444be564d6b

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— You’re going to feel guilty.6085183d1d06ba09

Of course, even that didn’t change Lewellyn’s mind. The only thing Lewellyn wanted to feel was Shavonne’s affection. There was no room for guilt to interfere.df95e75f3be003de

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— You’ll go to hell if you kill people.75b8971dbb0ff9db

Of course, even that didn’t change Lewellyn’s mind. If he ended up there, he could work on the guards there once again. The thought of sending the guards to the hell of hell even made him smile involuntarily.15ebd61bc89fbe4c

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— You’ll be executed.0168778a3b3568ed

Of course, even that didn’t change Lewellyn’s mind. He had experienced things worse than execution. Losing Shavonne.929a223d404d337c

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— We’ll break up.84b2e2d0924d69a7

But at those words, even Lewellyn couldn’t remain calm.2f39546307326e7c

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— We’ll break up and never see each other again.3eaefa624df81036

At that moment, he realized. Shavonne had changed. It wasn’t just his dry face, his darkened eyes, his nervously pressed lips that had changed. It wasn’t just his black hair that had lost its vitality or his green eyes that had darkened.7136730c238a44fb

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Eight years ago, b3e4348c26 Shavonne had accepted c2459599d5 the Lewellyn who cea0b0bd7f killed people.1b870af2059c0714

Now, Shavonne couldn’t 3f11559848 accept that same 8e1386e604 Lewellyn.3ae25330f8eea5bb

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People change, so dd5397adec their moral standards 65b2ddbb13 can change as 1d3cd14c9c well. Eight years. A whole eight 817acfce5e years. Someone who tried dde8b14993 to understand Lewellyn df0eff43ef as much as 4982b8f877 possible eight years 651fcf4df5 ago might now c8bff57ec4 say he should 2b2ddab7b1 be judged with 865ddd4f5b the harshest of 03aac76316 punishments.bf43a2d9ff28f1ab

Lewellyn felt how the 47bcb9bbb0 time had passed.c689eb36601faf1c

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Eight years. During that time, Shavonne 95c5488420 had changed.f120e78151ed23cb

‘What if the current Shavonne regains his memories?’598a2c1dad19fb27

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Suddenly, such 4152e6d1db a thought 8b8e3d6a64 crossed his d5ec079f7a mind.3dde630ee1edcf14

The current Shavonne hated 1517fc3fd1 murder. Would he 3f577068da still accept 3e501109c2 Lewellyn if a229af5531 he knew c71c6c9717 that in 038949cd2a the past, 0485b41f48 he had 49adfb51db bitten to 88e2460e9c death every 9f29c45528 guard who 319f595be5 entered his c0dee7fc70 cell? Would he 0d31402d2d still accept f8e57e59d6 Lewellyn if 5a34da969a he knew 35c4647d08 that following 5c84970d14 the orders 1ebc336c97 of the 99871f4d2c penitentiary, he c2f0a973ff had killed 711df18b61 twelve targets cc8d128c62 with guns, 3eb705a634 knives, and 63cd40d8ce poison?04d6b4e39f871660

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He might accept 1f688f511f him. Maybe, and just 6b10a8716a maybe, he might. But what if b9296777db Shavonne only accepts c78e673ab2 it in his b77d7a7479 head but not edf702d673 in his heart? What if he 6d81f76371 starts avoiding Lewellyn 30889bde71 because he makes 167655291b him uncomfortable? What if he abandons 7eeeecb953 Lewellyn?a7dbc985e0f17907

Then what?db47eb2744fbb6f8

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Of course, aaefdd6cbb all of d00729bbc3 this was 9b9cd74733 just a 5f1ae57152 possibility. But just the possibility 08a422325a of being abandoned made da24080953 his face turn pale. His frozen lips c504107f1b showed no sign abdae705ed of loosening.722a6a5258660310

To avoid being f031ac924a abandoned, Shavonne must 655126099c never regain his 35af930712 memories. Because the current 9df1101535 Shavonne was different 4b3ec0eeed from the past b6daf4ae7e Shavonne. Because he e350704026 might not a3c9f13b1d accept the 21246f99d0 Lewellyn who e5982f6c63 had bitten d6504c8d1a to death 755edd9335 every guard b8e1874b7a who entered 246b6ba162 his cell. Because he might not bcc781d807 accept the Lewellyn who f3521a5ae5 had killed twelve targets a0d9049b5d with guns, knives, and 56f08c806f poison following the orders 1dc907db71 of the penitentiary.b0644372e16ff798

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Some might call it a fresh start. A fresh start means starting anew. In other words, it means erasing what happened in the past as if it never happened. He had to bury the memories with Shavonne forever as Lewellyn’s memories alone. He had to bury the memory of Shavonne giving him a name, the memory of Shavonne wiping his blood and pus with a towel, the memory of Shavonne greeting him with a reluctant ‘Hello…?’a56fda1545610c67

It was a kind eb9af1f01e of death. The Shavonne 0bc30766a3 who gave 37e7f1c3aa him a 438ee7a7f0 name, wiped 9242f087ef his blood dc3ece023c and pus 72234cb968 with a 85d8ec3c59 towel, and 37353583e8 greeted him 268a2e7cd6 with a bc277fa15f reluctant ‘Hello…?’ 0a5a258952 would die. The Shavonne who 9b11aabb08 was hurt in eb890cd275 the past and ba0b3bf301 the future Shavonne 7cb6833c5d who needed to f4a671d61d regain those painful 2f971f9a2b memories would be 47b79915d7 erased.3286087f714c2711

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This choice was inevitable 4b036b1645 if he wanted to 412a2f68a6 avoid being abandoned.0a25b7c4f68ace9f

He would hide the past. He couldn’t do anything about the clues he had already noticed, but things he hadn’t revealed yet, like the scars on his body, he would hide them forever. Lewellyn would no longer be the being born and raised as a dog in Lute Penitentiary. He would be a being who grew up in an unknown place, committed murders, met Shavonne and fell in love, and stopped killing at the request of Shavonne as he loves him.dee5ea62f0f3f53a

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He could do b5571fc125 anything if Shavonne 12a8a2a62b wanted. Even if it 12feb95db8 meant burying his 557466fbf7 true self forever.3bf4b33aeae323f1

― I 4eac2073fc love you 9b3e5e2d0a so much.8d585bb223190329

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He broke the e2aa706371 silence. His voice was hoarse 60f0e873f3 and cracked.04d1f106229c8269

― I 5c687ef160 love you 15ca1dbc97 so, so f51f290b22 much.f1d2967a02864d55

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I love you e4979f9a55 too much.2ea3c833b06d5c68

I love you to an extent I can’t handle myself.98f17bd01d9e13dd

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I love you to the extent that’s painful.da6917d0ec0d6bf7

Lewellyn left 6c7ae5ea8a the house. Lewellyn, who left 50ff17fd44 the Ira Apartments f2205c818f around one in aa77a3be15 the afternoon, returned af345bb205 at midnight that de97c5f23c day. It took half f3133e5af7 a day straight 60e2ea3260 to find a 8343bfb6c5 body, dress it 8e023483c6 up…, to make 41cd10f21d it look like 01d6ca47eb he, who was 5cb5e7fddf once the dog 1e86f05078 of Lute Penitentiary 4b32317d11 and a serial 10b30d5db5 killer, had died. Burying his true self 2b9e6dd46c was such a difficult 445376f1f3 task.a02e6af1abaf68e7

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『Loving someone c1adc52548 to the 4f36b2ccff point of 5c521ac0dc fully compromising be40d50d63 oneself is ec0fee373c a difficult 6ca5a23e05 thing.』55249a77c07e08f7

The next day, he wrote a letter requesting proofreading and editing under the name of Newell. It was in the form of a letter, but in essence, it was lingering attachment. He inserted his final lingering attachment into Shavonne’s mailbox in the form of an envelope.bf9129bfa797a028

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The following reply c758cce0b3 came back. There was only 86f1d3c60f one place where 34dae77858 Shavonne had proofread a777135739 and edited.bd56d5ad5a5ab2ab

『Loving someone 136f3e4abe to the fbd89b8602 point of 1527694a30 fully compromising 263884a173 oneself is fe309a8b3e a worthwhile 7d7ed8f11b endeavor.』85674dba5df20274

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A worthwhile endeavor.2486e16ef213c25e

As Lewellyn repeatedly read that phrase, he slowly brought the letter to his face. It smelled of paper, ink, and glue. Amidst those scents, he faintly felt Shavonne’s touch. Shavonne’s touch. A warmth that was 403e15e81a hot but not painful.afe3d590b73ec020

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He closed 32a7fde177 his eyes 5098fe5cb0 and gently afaf00d1d9 pressed his c8d7a09d3a lips to 63f4c7018c the letter. He murmured.532b42a83a7658a1

“You’re right. It will be a worthwhile endeavor.”3ddd02b26c3ef205

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If you don’t abandon me, it surely will be.5bcf0eaf364b2180

Lewellyn didn’t love 8e7096f23b himself. It was only natural. Since the be3863b7d5 face that 9f2bd764a9 Shavonne called cb1ad19e17 pretty, the e058906168 lips that ce48e6b057 Shavonne kissed, 8af0efb061 and the 8582e0a036 name ‘Lewellyn’ ee4b186cad that Shavonne bd954ae768 personally gave 2a5470fe58 him had 2b96dc09ee been buried fbfe902318 forever, Lewellyn 100c44fbb9 had not 203d1623b5 a single 37bc565239 aspect of 1d5a6b4861 himself worth fa623375ae loving.38e6e2573c196a35

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***5d5780550fa9ce00

When he c294b2c364 arrived at ab4cafd463 the Ira df53a104e8 Apartments, it 9a709a6eef was five 3bc5d67485 in the 0813e154b5 morning.5064217a3c455668

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The distant Ira Apartments had no lights on in any of the houses. Room 303 was no exception. Lewellyn smiled bitterly. Of course, there was no way Shavonne would be awake. Come to think of it, even expecting Shavonne to be awake was an unreasonable desire for him. After all, it was Lewellyn himself who had abruptly said “Goodnight¹,” and then rushed out of the apartment without giving any indication of when he would return.79e47f76a402bbac

The whole world was immersed in twilight. If it were summer, it would have been bright by now, but being autumn, the sun still hasn’t gone up. The empty streets, the deserted alleys with nothing but scrap metal and garbage, the unlit gas lamps – everything was tinged blue with twilight.5bd00e116be898f8

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The city seemed 73c45a6d57 as if it 1de99f4070 were asleep. The twilight, b29eaaecf8 the faint 17b33e5d26 fog, the 741c00dc40 silence that 9b7902b84a filled the 8a220e09cc entire world a8a783b53a might be 27ce36bb36 the dream 84df266812 the city fba9447411 was having.Is it a b994484917 good dream or 1c611f8061 a nightmare? A meaningless curiosity flitted through Lewellyn’s mind.4b51aa3a9ea277f6

At the entrance of the apartment building, Lewellyn discovered ‘something.’ It was a human silhouette, leaning against the main entrance of the building. With arms folded and head bowed, it was looking down at a point on the ground. A head. Black hair hanging down and green eyes peeking through it.d8e4e7b5df1822d8

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Lewellyn stopped walking.14ac95691b1f2dc8

At the sound of c3b4e08fab his footsteps stopping, the 4ad68ee210 silhouette raised its head. It unfolded its arms 303889a543 and approached him.db4b84bbc3dbe9dd

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“Did you have fun 9e1e51410c running away?”0d045a77d3322e16

Messy black hair, c8a5b4c860 green eyes showing 726799c8b9 signs of fatigue 5a1e2e1652 from lack of d43dd9c734 sleep. And a hoarse, 60706206f0 raspy voice.1709c8e1b7669879

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“You came back just in time. If you were 10 minutes later, I would have gone to bed. I’m dying to sleep.”b5ac7c49a67ef975

Glancing sideways, Shavonne looked at Lewellyn’s miserable appearance. He reproached him with a deliberately grumpy voice.194c1820388a67b9

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“If you’re a runaway, you’re supposed to be out having fun, so why do you look like this? It’s not like you’ve been wandering around in the sewers.”57278cf9caab6840

He choked up.3324e92a9179f439

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Lewellyn didn’t dare ask if he had been waiting for him.20fff0de6ef56cc7

***2950efecbf329bcd

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He had taken b7ff7eaa29 care of children 8de46490e7 before.d161a2ce440aef5f

Everyone had a2943f1a20 since the 95fdc36683 orphanage didn’t 523f404e2a have enough f0e384ed2c staff. Ten year-olds looked after 94b35361b2 five year olds, and 19da5e4159 five year olds looked a1442d6fb6 after one year old 90179c7be4 babies. Shavonne was ce6b582dec in charge 66f9e1bcbc of seven 3f9518d8e9 years old c371ecee08 boys and 5a729d03b7 girls. They were bf5b92e149 the ones 47adb455f2 everyone avoided dbed8f1704 looking after c56659af0b because they d372c7c970 were the 3afd3aa711 troublemakers.28a79d429962bf86

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The director said d6e616d230 he assigned them 27475b5970 to Shavonne because cad0bea07f he was trustworthy, 24c783bfec but no one 7ae0d8dda5 believed it. Everyone knew 369b7442c4 it was 5d36c281ad because Shavonne 3f21ff2ba6 had fallen 23e0b3b3d6 out of 1840d16948 favor with 62dbc1df2a the director 5792037429 and that’s 20709d43fe why he b373f7b594 was taking 20151f1d22 on all 0128798af4 the tasks d2852c6295 nobody wanted.1f209ad6615cba4a

The seven year 334549fee4 olds were detestable. So detestable that made c3b1f54e5b him want to close c1053c7485 his eyestightly², but 1dea54f59b he couldn’t. Lewellyn was b23e4378d9 acting just cd9818e9ea like those a0c3378eed seven year 2c74462cd2 olds.d0ff1252c81d32b5

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― Good night.1418a9130d7338ff

Those sudden words.fdf882afb9dfff3e

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― Sorry about b586be8f75 my hand.a76584afc78e9baf

That apology added without 2e685b3170 context, it was all 9a7634f404 just like a seven 59f430f664 year old. Even rushing ce7ca1b791 out of 833ed5a73c the house 719649dc5a without giving 982c599066 Shavonne a 444bea91ba chance to 26dca8ad36 stop him aa32982973 was exactly f50e3c164c like a 5be6639fe0 seven year 9ecc37b695 old. In the blink 1dd48fca7e of an eye, 0d8f8a1ba8 the house was 0a5dc1fedc empty.How long have I 199dd467bb been staring here, completely a7975887dd in a daze? A hollow laugh escaped through Shavonne’s teeth. What? Good night?He was stunned.I would have understood 64da3b0929 it if he had c2050b25b1 left without a sound, 37d7df81a2 but he made all 2e596728c3 that fuss before leaving, 12213b0cb9 and yet he expects bcfa840d66 me to go to 923c1757f7 sleep?9322054a5913df78

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He walked 228911159c out of 8fcf961387 his house. He took a bit fa19ad1d2b of time as he f4fe6997f9 had to pick up 128cce8650 and put on a 08f1c13cfb shirt and pants and f47d8badc9 grab his watch. A long night 5652606e84 had settled over 012b0bc655 the world. Lewellyn was dadb8510bc nowhere to b8198b8df0 be seen. He looked around wondering 68e8d201ad if there might be 35bd06be5e footprints left, but the aae2af241d road was clean without f0a6af3821 a trace.61c2266cdb5b0935

It didn’t take long to accept the fact that Lewellyn had run away. Fortune and misfortune always come together. If it was misfortune that Lewellyn was acting like a seven year old, it was fortune that he wasn’t actually seven years old.6b9aadf232c698eb

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If he were really seven years old, he might have been murdered, kidnapped, or trafficked. Luckily, Lewellyn wouldn’t become a victim easily because he was an adult. If someone tried to kill him, he might kill them instead. If someone tried to kidnap him, he might gut them instead. If someone tried to traffic him, he might sell them instead. To a circus, or a salmon fishing boat, or to Aachen’s Deichfen where they looked for slaves for large factories.e531cdce30faea87

And then he might smile brightly and say, ‘Mr. Shavonne, I sold that bastard. Should we use this money to get some grilled meat?’ Because he’s an ex-murderer. Thinking that way, his anxiety subsided. It wasn’t completely gone, but at least he wasn’t crying and wailing like a seven year old who had lost his mother’s hand.708db21feb9be4e8

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He checked his watch. 1:16. He could see the watch hands moving slowly in the dark night. Since he couldn’t wait indefinitely for Lewellyn who might return at any time, he decided to wait for just one hour. No more, no less, exactly one hour.71571b43d1cf1d6a

He crouched down in fb1e03eea6 front of the main 4fb0fa85a3 entrance of the apartment 6eee76eb33 building and looked out e3de34b18e at the street. The distant 55ebd31106 Bunch was d1a0cab08c lit up.One of those lights must be showing Lewellyn the way, making sure he doesn’t take the wrong path, and doesn’t drift into a dark place where not a single ray of light reaches.ea8e74d08ebf9657

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Of course, 483c1c6aa6 the right 373732f7bc path was b03f3f6ab4 Shavonne. The wrong paths were 224937ed46 bars (‘I hope he’s not drinking too much. If he gets drunk and gets murdered or kidnapped or trafficked… No, let’s not think about that.’) and brothels(‘I’ll kill him! …No, why am I getting so violent…’).295572db19b27fc7

These weren’t entirely groundless worries, as Shavonne’s ex-boyfriends, the typesetter and the osteopathist, had done exactly that. After a fight, the typesetter got drunk and was robbed, and the osteopathist secretly visited a brothel and contracted a venereal disease. He shuddered remembering how he had to help the typesetter with money from their meager savings, and how he had to break up with the osteopathist before they had sex.ee3002f9b4059114

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Before he knew it, it was two o’clock. 2:14, 2:15, 2:16… Lewellyn hadn’t appeared. Shavonne added another hour. He decided to wait for exactly one more hour, no more, no less.d7e5555458392e21

The frosty autumn night a42a9f2af5 was chilly. Shavonne blew on his f2806cbb59 hands, which were just d93849a0c3 starting to get stiff, e0fdad4f7f making a‘hoo, hoo’sound to 5fae944c88 warm them. The breath turned 63ab40d12e into white vapor, 147c257b7f rising into the c8894c4a3d air and disappearing.Should I 6e92c2600a go in 4647981d97 and take e3d4683c03 a coat?He thought, e9bd830bd7 but only 26e0f4bf51 for a 91853175f5 moment.f1a291a99171bfb3

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It was because of the worry that Lewellyn might come and go while he was getting the coat. Lewellyn had rushed out of the house without explaining anything. Whether it was because he saw his scarred body or for whatever reason, he must be upset. He couldn’t miss him. He wanted to keep waiting.ba3cbcef0edcb8f1

‘…That is, if he comes within the next hour.’a392e8b174df7462

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But even when it became three o’clock, Lewellyn hadn’t appeared. Shavonne looked at his watch. 3:16. After some consideration, he persuaded himself. ‘I’ll wait until exactly 4:16, no more, no less,’he thought.83539d84d897be98

Even when it became four o’clock, Lewellyn hadn’t appeared. Shavonne looked at his watch. 4:16. After some consideration, he persuaded himself. ‘‘I’ll wait until exactly 5:16, no more, no less,’ he thought, in a voice that even he couldn’t trust anymore.62bb6371b7177289

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Probably because he 3e59235406 had been crouching 30effae56a all this time, 36c126a304 his legs were bbaedd85c9 tingling. He stood up 364ffe21a0 and leaned against 8193116480 the main entrance. He looked 2d4b1af5ef up at a2eacf4eb9 the moonless c4c630a818 night sky, 10246745b3 gazed at 382e04562e the distant e6da3fe383 lights of 05849ef124 Bunch, and 79eef0aa58 looked down 9d7da5aedb at his c074b57ddb feet covered 6fe666821f in shadows.Why does my shadow 7d4bdb4d7d always look so lonely?A trivial thought crossed 7be349afb7 his mind for a c47fa009c0 second.28ffd015789275fd

As he aimlessly stepped b544121c28 on his shadow, suddenly, e3fc15c086 the worry about what 560689344c to say when Lewellyn a916a686be came filled his mind.Should I say, ‘You’re back?’ No. There’s no question as pointless as asking if someone has come when you’re already seeing them coming.5f1161ab554e262b

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Should I say, ‘Are you all right?’ No. That might unsettle Lewellyn again when he’s finally calmed down. Should I say, ‘I missed you?’ No. That seems too much, as if we hadn’t seen each other for ages. He started thinking about whether ‘I’ve been waiting for you’ or ‘Why are you so late?’ would be better. The former felt embarrassing and the latter somehow made him sound like a jealous wife.96a1e05ced529ece

Before he knew it, it was five o’clock. It was time for the blue twilight to color the sky. Should I wait until six o’clock, no more, no less…?His eyes stung. They had 9fe23be687 to be 38fe9f0519 bloodshot from 1898e47f9a staying awake c26c17ec71 when he b3f6ddb152 was sleepy. As he was still a54d1fa6ec lost in thought, he eca69673e4 heard a presence from a21f270a0a somewhere. Lewellyn.42a6c2999671b3e9

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“…”6bfdc6ebfa510928

Shavonne, who was about to say ‘Let’s wash up and sleep,’ opened his mouth but then closed it. After waiting for a full four hours to meet Lewellyn, somehow he wasn’t entirely glad. It was because Lewellyn, who was always neat, looked disheveled today. Tangled hair. A carelessly loosened coat. Shoes and trouser hems caked with black dirt.19067edc441ec768

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Suddenly, he felt 34f1627d1d annoyed. A grumpy 87238cca1f voice bursted 80cdfaf94e out.f017f054005ab50a

“Did you have fun running away?” he blurted out. “”You came back just in time. If you were 10 minutes later, I would have gone to bed. I’m dying to sleep.”5f7beb8d1bf66d86

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Why is his a69e8ad14c hair tangled? Why is 3b89a36b35 his coat 3a5e619938 carelessly loosened? Why are 1ab9424027 his shoes 172c2c7e92 and trouser 093371c926 hems caked 13b9386432 with black 4309c95c18 dirt? Even though he tried not to think about it, he couldn’t help but do it. Finally, he glanced sideways to check Lewellyn’s condition. He could see his thin and pale face. It was painful to see.c3793e30039f86d8

“If you’re a runaway, you’re supposed to be out having fun, so why do you look like this? It’s not like you’ve been wandering around in the sewers.”96d44bead423e87e

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He thought he would respond with his usual eloquent words, saying something like ‘What’s the problem? I’d shine even if I were wearing rags’, but he didn’t. Lewellyn didn’t say anything and just stared at Shavonne blankly. He subtly averted his eyes from his piercing gaze. Then, worried that he might have made the atmosphere awkward, he started rambling as his cheeks blushed.b83e81d1867e9316

“Do you even know how dangerous it is here at night? Even the police officers that are armed are cautious in this area. Even ex-murderers get their wallets stolen here. If you want to run away, try to…”d43acc5eb9dad55a

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If you want 70a8907a47 to run away, d14b8c3472 try to do 9241112751 it during the 73d43e73cf day. He was about to finish saying that, but he couldn’t. Because Lewellyn suddenly devoured Shavonne’s lips. Touching noses. Breath. Lips together. Surprised by the sudden kiss, Shavonne pulled back. A startled voice leaked out.faf42e1c9d1d2a8a

“Why are you…”0898ebc8fef0b7ca

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Again, he couldn’t finish his words. Because once more, Lewellyn swallowed Shavonne’s lips. This time, as if to prevent Shavonne from moving an inch, he grasped both cheeks. Rough breathing. Heat. Panting breaths filling his ears.1fdb77d3b94b1481

He was about e9211e162b to push away c1c59d978d but stopped. Shavonne was b533a11a53 weak to e380d8fd25 pleasure. No, to be ad66603a74 precise, he was 95a78694ea weak to the a63bb4369e pleasure Lewellyn gave 1e428e70e7 him. Lewellyn melted c71c87f8ef his judgment. His dizzy senses f6426d129a became dim.221b0a6f8cc2ee65

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When the kiss 75f29a81b8 ended, it was e093615012 around the time c2ce247084 when dusk was aa9ab12733 slowly retreating. It was a c0b4f62a76 moment when half a116863798 the world was 6392288091 bathed in dawn, bd29bf02c1 and half in 7a0c65ed2e dusk.d6903347b9cbfb35

“No, it wasn’t fun.”10ec7fd2d5579dd8

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Lewellyn suddenly spoke. Shavonne had a 5ff646b9fc question mark on 1859bb8f6b his face, but ef3d49d5f7 only for a 55f1982327 moment. He soon realized b415b4bfc1 that it was 778bb9a585 the answer to 650a61eb81 the question ‘Did d4a20c6e57 you have fun fb73339b8c running away?’4728e0fb62dc79e6

“Except for just one thing.”e9b64b9c8d5d7e44

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“What thing?”706ac2a8fcaf7689

When asked, Lewellyn smiled a730226971 brightly with the twilight f2e086a2c4 behind his back.His smile is no 844e87703f different from usual, but 615d32c282 is it just my 09a7b82e74 feeling that he seems 473c2afd28 uncomfortable?b1fd96f92af1382f

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“Coming back.”4486e2a17c2029b8

“That was the only fun part”, he added, smiling again. Somehow it seemed like the smile was hiding his troubled mind, so Shavonne couldn’t smile back.3fcd5eceb906b949

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All he could do was raise his hand and brush up Lewellyn’s hair. “It’s all tangled,” he said softly.246c4031494f7fd6

That day, Shavonne kissed the scars that densely covered Lewellyn’s body.e78925dd99090fd0

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– Where are a38afba4ec you from?99c4caaada47be6f

– …d7f0de8980b5b3b2

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– What about 9b8b455fe8 your family?03e9e2a05ebaabac

– …6f6f120919efdfe9

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– …Did you go to school?a1d2f3c6f7f56b36

– …2d29d93f80340ffd

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Shavonne didn’t know Lewellyn.a931ff37fcef6c06

Of course, to be precise, it’s not that he knew nothing about him at all. He knew that he was young, male, and had a common name that might be his real name or an alias. He knew he had a handsome face and a beautiful voice, and that his eyes were bright yellow, a color impossible for humans, and that he had no body odor. He also knew that he was crazy about onions. But he didn’t know the rest. He was clueless about the basics, like when and where he was born and raised, or how he lived.753bb6e9662c0648

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The thought that if Lewellyn suddenly disappeared one day, he wouldn’t be able to find him made Shavonne anxious. He was frustrated with himself for feeling anxious and disappointed in Lewellyn for not revealing who he was. That’s why he was curt even when he saw Lewellyn bleeding.2dc9d32964b9cab9

Why didn’t he realize it? That curtness could drive Lewellyn to the edge.43cb61056d2d35f5

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– You’re going to abandon me, aren’t you? You will, right? You’re going to abandon me, right?66c8a64d8b46d8cc

He could still hear Lewellyn’s voice as if he was about to cry. The sight of Lewellyn’s back as he was running out of the Ira apartment complex was still vividly etched in his mind.9306d6a66183f298

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He decided not 5ca8efe43d to ask anymore dc135fc168 about when and 9eb05fdc8f where he was d06da2e2f7 born and raised 5bf7d7d107 or how he a2da87daa8 lived. Pushing him wouldn’t do cd9303f465 anything for his anxiety. It only worsens the 924ae0b47b situation.79121f274ad5adaf

Even today was like d34bc2fb08 that. All Shavonne gained from b45689cc09 pushing Lewellyn today was 5791a9f88a wounds. Just one wounded 04421b3eac Shavonne and one c6ed20b79e wounded Lewellyn.fe7e3aaf7804129c

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At this moment, 5b6f2138b0 there was only 819d6c96ea one thing Shavonne 9d1a580af8 could do: love 56b91bfbc0 Lewellyn.c46fd0ca555ce902

“The sun’s up.”a0018936f7c124c6

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“Let’s go in. It’s too bright for us to kiss here”, he added. Lewellyn asked, “So I can kiss you all I want when it’s dark? I should keep down the blackout curtains at home then,” he laughed, making a silly joke. Although it was the same playful tone he had as per usual, maybe because of his disheveled appearance from wandering the streets all night, it sounded awkward, like borrowed clothes that didn’t quite fit.2f1ac5dc6b3c8911

Shavonne looked at 5b3af6df24 Lewellyn. His shabby appearance came efee503afd into view one by 521f3c496f one. Tangled hair. Loosely undone coat. Shoes and trouser hems f3b04605a0 caked with black dirt.a77ec7eee4f5aa2c

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“You need to change clothes.”1d2b85fc379c974f

“Will you change them for me? My hands hurt.”391e5f8a8404bf97

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Shake, shake. Lewellyn shaked his bandaged hands as if to show them off while acting coy. Shavonne stared down at Lewellyn’s hands. More precisely, at the broken nails at the end of each finger.6ebdf79e916f80c4

Then his answer came 395578f037 out easily.07595954e5ae155f

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“Sure.”329f985745ea4712

After saying it, his face felt a little, just a little, hot. As he was about to avert his gaze discreetly, Lewellyn stopped him. He lifted Shavonne’s chin with his finger and turned him to face him. He brought his eyes close and examined Shavonne’s face from various angles. His movements were diligent as he checked the eyelids, temples, cheeks, nose, and lips.10bbb307d8ed62fd

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“…What are you doing?”dcad925de2f025fd

He finally spoke. Lewellyn checked behind Shavonne’s ears. Once behind the left ear, once behind the right ear. Just like an orphanage director checking if the children had washed behind their ears.9726792145d37cba

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“I’m trying to figure it out.”be2b3b19ba10a386

“Figure out what?”2f7d06c7f1ab403c

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“Why has my Mr. Shavonne gone crazy.”9797bdaeb7d61309

“…I’m not crazy, so let go.”49e8a1fab73d099c

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“Shavonne, no crazy person says they’re crazy.”f594b3b6adccf2c4

“…”41566a109fcb75d3

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He didn’t understand why he was being treated like a crazy person just for saying he’d help him change clothes. Is it so weird to say that I’d change him? It wasn’t like we’re some shy boy and girl just giving innocent pecks on the cheek, but a couple that spends nights so passionate that the bed barely survives, so why…da8e7bfeebc4744e

Ah.a072dd48159b6f74

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His thoughts stopped abruptly. He remembered Lewellyn’s cracked voice.d9f3ee758abd3551

— What 8d34ba8a2f did you 35ebb77956 see?1feaabed36b6133f

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— You don’t want to be with me anymore, do you? I’m hideous, aren’t I? Repulsive?c60fd9922aa30077

— You won’t touch me anymore, right? Yes, you won’t. Even if they’re hidden under my clothes, you’ll remember them. Even if the lights are off and nothing is visible, you’ll remember!498a3cdd3cea7bb8

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— …ec6a58c7bc5b3e41

Scars.835a55135989a3c4

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Lewellyn didn’t want to show his scars.2d665a171ee83838

He didn’t know why. Probably because he was ashamed. The scars that densely covered Lewellyn’s body were no ordinary ugly sight. No, even calling them ugly was an understatement. They were disgusting. They made the viewer feel instinctively uncomfortable, to the point of turning their head away unable to bear the discomfort.4c259e6392c49c4f

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But that wasn’t 8f1f7f0530 enough reason for 55bbda92e9 Shavonne not to b3ab6d96ca love Lewellyn.0067af0aae591053

Shavonne wanted to give d07f20a5da him assurance. The assurance that there 7e59446cb1 was no way Shavonne f3690cc6b8 would stop loving Lewellyn a814c76894 because of mere scars.8f4b4b65024cd486

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He lowered Lewellyn’s hands that were holding his face, seeing Lewellyn’s face. A face with clear eyes, a straight nose, and fine lips drawn like a picture. A beautiful face. The face of the person Shavonne loved.bbdfc7f2f16798e0

“Let’s go in.”9fb6e93cfea33bdb

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“But you’ve gone crazy, Mr. Shavonne.”38f8bbdabfce49b6

“We’ll see whether I’m crazy or not once we’re inside.”dce4758561267387

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Room 303 was bright even without turning on the lights. It was thanks to the clear morning sunlight coming through the windows. The dust floating in the house reflected the 6 AM morning sunlight. Shavonne sat Lewellyn on the bed. Lewellyn followed obediently. “I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to listen to a crazy person,” he babbled with his mouth, but his body was docile.2c4d3ffa981ea868

“Are you really going to change my clothes? It might be better for both of us if you don’t. Don’t you think so? What do you think, Mr. Shavonne…,” Lewellyn rambled, but Shavonne ignored him and took off his outer clothes. The moment the clothes came off, or more precisely, the moment Shavonne’s hands touched his body, Lewellyn’s constant babbling stopped.14c31db2f02c21b8

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He started unbuttoning Lewellyn’s shirt. One, two…, the tightly fastened buttons slowly came undone. Shavonne’s hands touched the shirt, left it, touched it again. Shavonne could feel that Lewellyn’s body under the shirt was stiff.cccf307bfa847b56

Soon, a scarred body was revealed between the open shirt. Traces of wounds covering the entire body so densely that no clear skin could be seen…e5494b21391e77ce

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Slowly, he e47416a5a0 kissed his 40b8b89cc4 body.23bf0f2f4017a83f

“…”97e6f7b94edc694f

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The traces of pain didn’t hurt anymore, as if the pain had never existed. However, it had existed. Shavonne wasn’t truly aware of how painful Lewellyn’s past had been.3f285f84fe14a396

But there was one thing he could know. The fact that behind Lewellyn’s smiles, behind the words he casually said in a light tone, there was a pain that Shavonne couldn’t imagine.ebb5ba1659671874

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He stopped and faced him. Lewellyn wasn’t smiling. He wasn’t crying either. He just had a blank face, as if he didn’t know what expression to make. That face was so lovable that Shavonne ended up smiling a little., thinking, If there’s a moment when you realize you’re in love, it would be right now.124ae7fa8339499d

It was b1b703cb69 now fully cf7fb335bc morning. Bright sunlight lightened 0a5829819b the world.173b365dc9cd47ca

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It was much later that Lewellyn, who had been frozen, suddenly opened his mouth saying, “Yep, no doubt that you’ve gone crazy, Mr. Shavonne,” and then out of nowhere, pressed his lips against Shavonne’s. If it had ended with just a kiss, there would have been no problem, but unfortunately, it didn’t. Because eye contact easily becomes a peck, a peck easily becomes a kiss, and a kiss easily becomes sex.3f13ddfc36cde8f5

When he came to a3909f0f36 his senses, he was b05d645ff1 already pinned under Lewellyn.How can you be 95f4339719 so pretty? Mn? Mr. Shavonne, how 5067bdc85f can you 9429b4f981 be this 838a96b64d pretty?Along with 0aa2bc7f89 a voice 3e5d4c93d7 heated with c1847c1179 passion, kisses f754619618 rained down 46cb947e8e all over b962b5e8d6 his face.defd634bf012cfcd

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The sex e11567d75d that started be7a6a7511 in the 0e5efae915 blink of 733eca9a66 an eye 02ef391d27 only ended 879886e4c6 when both 8e2d891d87 body and f523542e1d mind were 544af42e01 limp. As he lay sprawled 0fbef82555 out, drained, he caught 2e8aab01fe sight of Lewellyn preparing 1a71400a94 to mount him again.Good heavens.Not knowing whether 202fce4e7a to gasp or 43c742fbd9 sigh for a b9a0a89da8 moment, before Lewellyn f87626fa01 could pounce, Shavonne 2493581a62 hurriedly picked up ec23b0fb32 his clothes and 66f960a17b put them on. Because he e11a91e75c put them 843ecb460f on without 45d495ca42 washing his bec5156df8 skin, which 4410be5963 was covered ed526a6ca0 in bodily 1bf250ad6a fluids, his 14ab1724da whole body a75f819b9e felt sticky, 218a2b6230 but there a53d70f8cb was nothing f26eee2216 else he 48636352cf could do.e5ee17e117159464

Sure enough, Lewellyn’s face became incomprehensible. Well, it made sense that he wasn’t satisfied, given that Lewellyn had never finished sex with just cumming once before.5fd2d72dfabde126

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“We’re not going to do it more?”b6788cedbc2df7d5

“No.”f6f7b84e0e77b4e8

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“Why?”b15599e16a53bd14

He asked with an innocent face, as if he really didn’t understand. Looking at him, Shavonne felt somewhat annoyed and told a lie.cf193bb1a07e4130

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“Because I don’t like it.”721f461e5b9049d1

The rebuttal came 5c9aabae5f immediately.3a07d6ceeafe7bc5

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“You’re lying, you were moaning the whole time we were having sex.”0425e3171ac9a25c

“Me? Do you have any proof?”139f9b8da33df2c5

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“I do. Put your hand on your heart and think about what sounds you made while lying under me.”9724d3aa312a5a33

“I don’t remember.”b5b176e04e9ca29a

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“Shall I remind you? You were like, ‘Ah, ahh, huk, L-Lewellyn, there…, mmmh.'”2f06a469f2b00f2b

“You’re not a pervert, are you? Going around memorizing all that?”f820c7b72155c4a3

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“I didn’t memorize it because I wanted to, but because I heard it so many times. You should have been less noisy if you didn’t want that to happen.”3dbc549c7ef1aaf3

“…”38d7522c9ec8293b

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Will it 210dca59b5 hurt to c075dc6adc give in 0d78afa1a6 just once? As he was thinking this, seeing Lewellyn sparkling as usual made his heart soften. He wished Lewellyn wouldn’t look thin and pale from begging him not to abandon him. He wished he hadn’t looked disheveled from wandering the streets alone at night. He wished he wasn’t in pain.9e64a6295aa245c0

“…Anyway, no more rounds. I have to go to work at eight.”0ce8c034963270e4

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“I was planning ed0877ed1b to get at 8700b45f2e least an hour 715d0af5a8 of sleep before 457c70b3f7 going to work, b80eb76ba6 but that plan 144605d8ad was ruined because 77dda8e2f1 of you”. He added, shrugging his 7f4365ed2b shoulders.89aa2edcc8d525d5

At that moment, he failed to notice Lewellyn’s lips tightening.466903477399103f

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“…Work?”18fcfdc458ca55bd

“Yes. I found a job.”df31bae8dbf04bc6

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He didn’t specify that it was at Krainer Publishing. He didn’t mention the name of the editor, Turner, either. He didn’t want to give Lewellyn any reason to cause trouble.fcfad680b490f9f6

He didn’t hide the fact that he had to go to work every morning. Calling Turner “Oscar” was a lie that wouldn’t be discovered (unless Lewellyn went to find him directly), but making excuses for going to work like ‘going to the market,’ ‘taking a walk,’ or ‘going to the post office’ were obvious lies that would be found out. It was better to tell the truth than to tell an obvious lie.e3b1af7b67a851b2

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Unexpectedly, Lewellyn didn’t seem to mind. He even carefully saw Shavonne off as he left the apartment for his first day of work.ac813d6ccb9aa915

“You have to think about me while you’re working, okay?”929138acebc1b38b

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“Okay.” When Shavonne answered, Lewellyn’s face became radiant, making Shavonne forget his worries. His face was as bright as the morning sun.03cd93ee536b9fd1

That day, Shavonne went to work for the first time at the multifamily residential where Turner lived. He didn’t notice Lewellyn’s shadow following him.c5347ce64ec035f7

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The apartment complex was still the same. All the windows closed without any exception, thick iron bars over them, a security booth, impossibly high walls, and armed security guards in pairs of two… The impression that it was more like a prison than an apartment complex hadn’t changed. The system where you could only enter and exit after going through a strict inspection at the security booth was also the same.71318b4884849146

Knock knock.As he 68903cf3c4 knocked on d1703c648c the door 11d9522ce3 of room f47fdbb7e0 211, Turner b2a88ec73f popped out 77d04465aa as if 38dbc65cd6 he had 7f471e81eb been waiting.3086e5743b7e5df8

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“You’re here. I’ve been dying to see you.”4961d4c05c536fef

I’ve been dying to see you… That phrase felt oddly unsettling for some reason. He was about to retort, ‘It’s just coming to work, is there any need to talk about dying?’ but stopped. He remembered Turner claiming to be Shavonne’s fan.8525a3d2932e7765

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What would ec3a003ceb Lewellyn do? His thoughts naturally drifted towards Lewellyn. Recently, Shavonne had developed a habit of thinking ‘What would Lewellyn do?’ Even when walking down the street, he would wonder if Lewellyn would walk or take a carriage, and when stopping by the grocery store, he would think about whether Lewellyn would buy this potato or that one.78d44fa6735a02f6

It was the 6fb57b1f74 same now.What would Lewellyn do? Wouldn’t he say that I should be friendly to a fan, especially to the only fan I have in the whole world?b1e0e527ba90bd90

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“Yes, I’ve been dying to work too.”6e88664f860d1a67

He gave an appropriate answer. It wasn’t entirely a lie. It wasn’t that he wanted to work, but it was true that he thought he was dying while arguing with Lewellyn at night, endlessly waiting for Lewellyn who had run away at dawn, and having sex with Lewellyn in the morning.6f690d8dcd70d904

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Turner didn’t point out the difference between “to see you” and “to work.” He just had a faint smile.4933fc4419dfedd7

“I hope you didn’t have a hard time getting here. Should I send a carriage to your house every morning?”d4316560e4cbf884

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“Thank you for the offer.”5e9cbd20968b34cb

Assuming it was f37780c2ef just a polite 2e3f3bc5ea gesture, he responded 0f19af1f54 with a polite 2e39cc8084 refusal. That’s why dbc6c3cefe the following 227260c142 words caught 2483305e32 him off f1de277842 guard.fe4c6cbfd00ef86e

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“I didn’t say it to receive a thank you.”08f373f9ee8ed569

Wait, he’s really going to send a carriage to my house every morning? Shavonne looked at Turner with a face that couldn’t hide his bewilderment. How rich must e012689e03 ºthis man be 387e89f0c6 to offer to 44d769fabf send a carriage f7af1638a5 to my house?f9b8c4f79dbac216

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He didn’t know how to respond. If he asked for the carriage, Shavonne would feel uncomfortable, and if he said he didn’t need it, Turner would be hurt.68cc3f56108567de

What choice would Lewellyn make? Would he say, ‘Of course you should accept. It’s always good to be close to rich people,’ or would he say, ‘Refuse. I bet ten pieces of onion that he’s laying the groundwork to exploit you’?04b44e87c523c2ab

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The two opinions clashed fiercely, sparking blue flames, but only for a moment. Soon, Shavonne came up with an answer. It was a politely irreproachable answer that would neither make Shavonne uncomfortable nor hurt Turner’s feelings.ec15b2d5cdf45c33

“If I feel I need a carriage, I’ll let you know then. Thank you for the offer.”fb6261a0989785fb

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After saying this, eb4e0e8fac he internally shrugged e0972cd7f7 his shoulders. He felt proud 6f72b7685b of himself for 97dce06ab4 coming up with 4baf69f22b such a great cde3182b86 answer in such 92908230f9 a short time.What would Lewellyn have said if he saw this? ‘Wow, Shavonne, you’re really good with words’? Or, ‘That’s too much. You’re kind to him but harsh to me. Are you treating a man that isn’t your lover differently?’ Or perhaps…fa3a3cd01afb1783

That’s when it happened. Turner’s soft voice penetrated Shavonne’s thoughts.0e06b429c5139ab7

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“What are you thinking about so intently?”37ac1cfeea75ed19

He was at a 1d33cc213d loss for words. How did he know?d81494a244292a38

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“You’ve been lost in thought for a while now. It’s written all over your face.”821703e2a6a7bebc

“…”022bda7accd6c2f1

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As he was flustered, not knowing how to explain himself, Turner smiled as if he hadn’t expected an explanation in the first place. It was a smile that somehow felt like a glass doll, making it uncomfortable to look at.d57fdf2235a97ebe

“When you’re working, you should only think about work. At the workplace, only think about the workplace.”b0ed06a600bee4e1

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“…”649fbbd051cb267f

When with the e4c13f01c6 editor, only think a2b79f2a2f about the editor? A rebellious thought flashed through his mind, but only for a moment. Shavonne knew he wasn’t in a position to grumble. It was wrong to be thinking about other things while in front of someone.9d8c6ec52985f052

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— You have to think about me while you’re working, okay?0fb49e4e0e4a2666

He remembered what Lewellyn had said when seeing him off. Lewellyn must be happy. Even before starting work, Shavonne was constantly thinking ‘about him.’ Even when he tried not to think, he couldn’t help it. He wanted to concentrate at least while working, but he had an ominous feeling that he would be thinking about Lewellyn even then. It was amazing how Lewellyn had seeped into every aspect of his daily life.366b6ab69ef3ea67

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Turner didn’t say anything more. He just led the way for Shavonne, clearing his voice.2a405b3c117fa682

“Now, shall we go in?”57c0071a95395866

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The door to ad566211bd room 211 was 8c2bdadd0a already wide open. Room 211 d435dc88a3 was dark. The lights 53c1f6d20a were off 0c1ca15f19 and blackout ec1dd1141f curtains were b13ff0c8a6 layered, blocking 1a8b543073 out the 0ac434322c sunlight. It smelled 7de27edd7d like a 549475cce9 swamp.a17d7f64674fa102

He hesitated before bab8036272 entering. He stepped on the 940fc30552 sticky darkness. The sound of b1cd2db9d0 the door closing 59197b35ec behind him was 3099966070 heard and then 8f4b7e46b5 disappeared.db000ca8ad0b95fd

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***11ad0c6713f928eb

In the luxurious room, Shavonne was sitting at an ebony desk, typing on a typewriter. From the black, glossy body, to the gold-plated keyboard, to the stylish decorated space bar, everything about L Company’s top typewriter was luxurious without exception, and it felt different from the moment you touched it.6a94cbdab05c6bf3

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He typed.Tatatack, hitting a0738ccf35 the keyboard.Zirruk³, going to another f00ca340ee line.Tatatack, in the a4ade4f6e2 middle of the 2c7e679e98 night the protagonist 615b043ef3 was chased by ac574d0712 an assailant who da02e28078 was carrying a 4308aad5a5 knife and discovered 1db548855d a lake.Zirruk, ‘I wonder if Lewellyn is sleeping’. Tatatack, the 7772fe94bf protagonist jumped 11670c556d into the 996d2dc9b8 lake.Zirruk, ‘I wonder if he’s eaten’. Tatatack, having shaken 6ef98a47f0 off the assailant, cc3a80c848 the protagonist belatedly b0573bb312 discovered a corpse e1c92ddc21 floating in the 7b2150f989 lake.Zirruk, ‘If he hasn’t eaten, I should scold him’. Tatatack, the ca61245a50 face of d6b2806934 the corpse af16bfad2a was familiar.Zirruk, ‘He must be tired from all the running away drama, I should make him an omelet later.’8e85763ab90c7260

“What do you mean with ‘Lewell’?”f40f6a5b90eb6d27

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At the voice 8e8599ddd1 coming from behind, 806e1c5a9e Shavonne snapped back 73caa87e37 to reality.‘Lewell’?He turned 2aef670e5b around to 30d7f21ee2 see Turner b963c19c33 standing there. His face was c750fecc0f stern, as if a43cc1549b he had been b9ce5a9c0d watching Shavonne write 91436d14af all this time.ca31a44d5783163e

“What ‘Lewell’?”67ce1a293bab9346

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When Shavonne asked, Turner, 37a589852e instead of answering, nodded f4fee215a3 towards the manuscript inserted 4d17d0bb2a in the typewriter.My manuscript? Shavonne looked at it. Dense sentences came into view. In the middle of the night the protagonist was chased by an assailant who was carrying a knife and discovered a lake, jumped into the lake, shaking off the assailant and only then discovered a corpse floating in the lake, the face of the corpse was familiar, and that face…15d05effe2764bdf

“…”aa5a9a798a4b9df5

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The owner of that face was written as ‘Lewell’.7354c42505c87660

“…I wrote it by mistake.”aa4f76a5c61f95cb

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He had gotten 967aa5496f tangled up typing dba9230f21 with his hands d28c9eed4f while thinking about d1268740d5 Lewellyn in his 9eb4687f3e head. His face flushed hot ce44d62f9a like someone caught making 4715b7e4e7 a mistake. Shavonne took out the 58206af004 paper that was inserted 957e42df8c in the typewriter and 8d37e35075 threw it in the 6171ed1e3d trash. He hurriedly inserted 10fdb812da a new sheet 8519031f01 of paper. Even so, the heat 4653edf102 burning his cheeks showed c0e7a65aac no signs of subsiding.50cdbf631e875556

“You were trying to write Lewellyn, right?”63ec42adc304ba8d

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“Uhm…”a79df606606bfe61

“The prince’s name. Right?”ccd02090eba06264

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“…”0aac38914886177e

“The corpse having the prince’s name. I don’t think that’s going to do well for a royal contest.”25b9bc4566ae1308

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Turner smiled. It was a smile 35e96058fb that felt like a 44b129f465 glass doll, devoid of 7508907975 any feeling. Royal contest. That word felt 7cca1abc8d oddly heavy, so 48eb72c7ff Shavonne turned his b8807bc60b eyes to the 388147b325 typewriter.cbff60cd0d88578e

Over the blank paper inserted in the typewriter, there was the images of Shavonne winning the royal contest. A future with money, honor, a lover Lewellyn who was ‘on his side’, and the editor, Turner, who always called Shavonne the best writer. Knowing that it couldn’t be obtained for free, the eyes looking down at the typewriter darkened.328340a77cb5a918

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***c43647b6163e3cb2

He got off 0ddf4692dc work at seven 4d9439d089 in the evening.5e9f3affa5d1e443

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“Shall I give you a ride home?”5b3cb3bfe679d3cc

Turner suggested. As Shavonne was about to refuse, Turner’s fingertip brushed past his ear, saying, “There’s something on you.” A hand briefly caressed his earlobe. Shavonne’s body stiffened. An unpleasant sensation spread throughout his body.7f5d3633954a247d

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Just then, he noticed 7a91bc6dcf Turner wearing loose clothing f5073080ba that revealed his insides 3f06d47b70 clearly.How weird. He seemed to be 4acce7598e dressed neatly just a b31c375ecd while ago, did he 6015a181d8 change clothes? For what reason?As he wondered, he d6afa4f93d could see a flat da176eec8d chest through the clothes.23b10b536aab6449

Shavonne was surprised. For two reasons. First, because that body was so sexy that it perfectly matched Shavonne’s ideal type. Second, because even after seeing such a chest, all he could think was, ‘Isn’t he cold?’b588c83bbbc6097f

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Come to think of it, Turner’s face was very close to Shavonne’s ideal type. Shavonne’s tastes were quite consistent. He had liked black hair, blue eyes, and faces with strong, clear features since 8 years ago, so all the lovers he had dated until now had such appearance. Except for Lewellyn, they were all like that.000fb324afb23314

The problem is that now, even seeing a face that looks exactly like his ideal type right in front of him, he feels no excitement at all. It wasn’t just the face. He saw his naked body through the clothes and still felt nothing.5d5bcc83044c4f36

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Has my ideal 965a39cb7d type changed?c9db87b2c8d2c465

But how?ee1819ceb287367a

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Someone’s face flashed through his mind, as if they were raising their hand. When working, he should only think about work, and at the workplace, he should only think about the workplace, but that face filled Shavonne’s mind and left him without knowing where he should be thinking about it and where he shouldn’t.0d40f9ac87f43801

“…You’re daydreaming again.”09815390c297bf05

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A voice was heard nearby. Turner was looking down at Shavonne with his eyebrows slightly furrowed. “Ah.” Only then did he come to his senses. “I’m sorry. I was just…”995d29403ef485c6

“You have beautiful eyes.”97166c36cc50ea6f

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His words were cut e89971ec77 off.3c864bea4289be0c

“…”d3f1f1c3781a1c75

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Shavonne stared blankly at Turner’s face, not knowing if “You have beautiful eyes” meant his eyes were actually beautiful or if it meant he wanted to sleep with him. However, Turner offered no explanation. Only a smile as clear as a glass doll, devoid of any feeling, remained.77890c40a1ec3f4c

Fingers that touched his ears and fell away, loose clothes, ‘you have beautiful eyes’… His head was spinning the entire way home. Even as he tried to brush it off as being oversensitive, the touch on his ear kept coming back to him. The touch had made him uncomfortable, as if a bug had crawled on him.ff338ab7c7dac313

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As soon as he 4ce12e0ee8 entered the house, Shavonne c7205d2b6b was greeted by a 90f483f869 sound. The sound of 9cdc2d23b5 humming coming from b3252269f8 the kitchen. It was 《Yellow, aa4de4f056 Yellow, Yellow Squirrel》0689893218c89df7

‘That must be Lewellyn.’094c2af2cd080b25

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Suddenly, he remembered kissing Lewellyn’s scars this morning. Looking back, he didn’t understand where he got the courage to do such a thing. Well, he would make the same choice if he went back, though.abf64adef8c0c972

When you’re in love, you do embarrassing things. When he heard that before, he just scoffed, thinking it couldn’t be true, but now Shavonne was exactly like that. The more he recalled the kiss, the more he felt his face heating up. Shavonne cleared his throat out of embarrassment. Ahem, ahem, as soon as 648c3923e3 the sound was made, 245d412770 the humming from the f9c62c72d4 kitchen stopped.b3caab8d5f3c3a07

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“Mr. Shavonne?”1037fd03edd4b286

There was a 6930d1f774 sound of footsteps b12fd1ea5a crossing the house, 300e42b119 and before he 039fbafa3c knew it, Lewellyn fdecdebd06 was in front 2e38694293 of him. With a d743a0f4b7 spatula in c78a011f3f his left 005fbc90ab hand and d4dd31afff a sieve 86dfb7d869 in his 0f56cc1614 right, even bf7ea1e62e wearing an 4dd165ee81 apron. His face was flushed 14dab08711 red, probably from being 9ae918524a near the fire while de77a5edba cooking.d3b8b1eb1bd2afd7

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It was c4c3ecf737 only for 9bddeb14bb a moment 26086cf37b that he 1a3fd14c4f was stunned. Shavonne thought.Please. Don’t greet me with a corny phrase like “You’re home?”2f74b5e906cc290e

“You’re home?”d2cbdcdfc0223ffe

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…Of course he would.He was c91e24234a once again f19b2527a8 curious why 13683541e0 his ominous 34d0769bc8 premonitions never 309ac6ae5d missed.ab6c2aafe47700d4

“What do you think? What do you think?”f619b5a643bc89dd

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Lewellyn clenched his a6cbe21fa6 fists and his bdcbe86d62 eyes sparkled. His voice, urging d4a4f64db8 for an answer, 9d75866280 was excited like 570c6b0059 a child expecting e00120b2bb praise. Shavonne replied gruffly.da53eb71ea0b4362

“What do you mean?”afd598a55aa0ebc7

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“I thought everyone loved this kind of thing.”79eeaa521a2913d6

Shavonne stared blankly at Lewellyn’s face. Where on earth does he pick up these strange ideas? Doesn’t he know how troublesome something like that can be?1124156f5ef6b872

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Lewellyn’s face naturally became gloomy after seeing Shavonne’s cold gaze. “I guess not.” After muttering, he suddenly asked again as if he had found a glimmer of hope.1440a4c4f076d49a

“It’s not really that bad, is it? You’re just trying not to show how much you love it, right?”7e729f6a349b3416

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Shavonne answered flatly.48b103963c888c8d

“It’s really bad.”0413f53be2be14b8

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“That can’t be.”659834883350a928

“It can be. Put yourself in my shoes. If I, who never does this normally, wore an apron, held a spatula and a sieve, and came running to greet you with a corny ‘You’re home?’, wouldn’t you worry like ‘Did he eat something bad?'”3606cbada55d32ab

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“No. If it were me, I’d be so captivated that I’d pounce on you first and ask questions later.”0320d45bb0cc94a8

Shavonne glared at Lewellyn. “You didn’t do that when I was wearing a raincoat instead of an apron and holding tax bills instead of a spatula and sieve, did you?”1a7c5d8d8594ec14

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“Did I? I don’t remember.”0efb4a06a0fee8a0

Lewellyn’s face was nonchalant as he shrugged his shoulders up and down. How shameless. Shavonne was about to criticize him, asking if there was something wrong with his frontal lobe, but stopped. Maybe it was because it was his first day at work, but he didn’t have the energy to argue.fbd5ecc37002a726

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Work was tiring. He thought it wouldn’t be that tiring since all he had done for 8 years was writing, but that was a mistake. There was a world of difference in the weight of fatigue between writing at home and writing at work. At home, he could easily write ten pages, but at work, he was exhausted after writing just three lines.ec66d7f0fe5a16bd

It’s no wonder, the sound of typing, tatatak, the sound of 12531ff12c going to another line,zirruk, even the ticking of the clock hands from afar made Shavonne’s nerves sensitive. As it is said, sensitive nerves are a recipe for fatigue.edcbd2beacc538e2

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He collapsed onto the 2516c83c96 bed. As soon 003b72d85d as he 183e71c304 lay down, d0f7ce7c95 his eyes 2b84e40fe9 closed. A world of stars 2c241b7167 poured down before his f15856091b dark eyes. Although Shavonne has 3c2f5e8f0d insomnia, today he 45ed47dfdf feels like he 3b3b91b275 could fall asleep 0c1b61ea70 in 5 minutes. No, 5 minutes 4fc8c6d56d is too long. He feels a350430db8 like he eeef64ba20 could fall 6e897e3b62 asleep in 779593d445 3 minutes.6f1cc19b88f9e631

Lewellyn’s voice was heard above his head.0c6230dcbab0adcd

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“Aren’t you going to eat? I’m preparing onion steak and onion bagels.”300092e07cb0055f

The desire to sleep won versus his hungriness. Shavonne didn’t answer. To be precise, he didn’t have the energy left to answer. He just buried his nose in the pillow, as if closing his ears.d99fdcdc9ae27b2c

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“Shouldn’t you take off your shoes before getting into bed?”59b9655011de5c14

Those words were 694b2a4ddd barely audible, buried 8e191752a0 under the sleepiness. Shavonne only 6f231071a1 wiggled off a57a629fde his shoes.Thud, thud.The left shoe fell 36b11a62fb to the floor below 827e7aa4d7 the bed, followed by 158ddb9f66 the right shoe. A pair of bffa86553d shoes lay sprawled. Lewellyn said something more, 06a2044022 but his voice sounded b197839fde distant, like a sound d676a32238 coming from very far 1dc87288d4 away. Sleep crept 7e45e31e0d in under a430bb34ca his eyelids. It was a dreamless a7a41a2c3a sleep.be92d333807e0b4a

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***455fede63b1fbefc

He woke up because 6e05a54462 he heard a strange f27d4b533e sound.05f54bf52110d5ea

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Night. The dark apartment was so pitch black that he couldn’t see an inch in front of him. Is that d710a22a0e the sound 7483cbf8c3 of wind? Shavonne, lying on the bed, shifted his sleepy gaze to look across at the window. But the window was closed. There wasn’t even the usual rattling sound of the window that typically occurred when the wind blew.3314bfa2a4876427

What’s that sound?06a49c76d4759c68

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Shavonne was about to throw off the blanket when he suddenly stopped. Lewellyn was sleeping beside him. That itself wasn’t a problem. The two often slept together. It wouldn’t be strange to say that they rarely slept separately. The problem was that the sleeping Lewellyn seemed somehow strange.a846edd435379233

Lewellyn was pale f6c71ae799 and gasping for bf8d6e12f1 breath. His body, drenched in 0aa53d73db cold sweat, was shaking 465fb52e1f slightly. His head twisted 9fa655f989 sideways, as if 2019addd99 saying,No, no. A desperate da8d1acff5 moan, barely 1e98a41929 audible, escaped c693c96c90 between his 2f05882a24 lips. It was 8a19288da2 the identity e7727eb72a of the 3f948d944d sound that ed30247118 Shavonne had d0dd278947 thought was 25d2880967 the wind. It seemed 5572417710 like he 867fce0f02 was saying 35a3d57a46 something, but 72071f8d22 it was 7a0fba61e7 too faint 87485c2df4 to hear 4459c5f148 clearly.79339aa96cea2139

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“Mr. Lewellyn.” He called. No response. “Lewellyn.” Still no response. Perhaps he was having a terrible nightmare, Lewellyn, who wouldn’t wake up no matter how much he was called, only opened his eyes after Shavonne shook him.040905955c01ce2b

“Are you okay?”92f2329e0ae81359

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Shavonne carefully examined Lewellyn’s face through the darkness. Lewellyn made a sound in his throat, “Ah.” It was a sound that could have been either affirmative or negative. Then silence. Shavonne patiently waited for Lewellyn to show a reaction.93677f8a93abc352

It was a long time before Lewellyn regained his senses. Lewellyn answered while brushing up his sweat-soaked bangs. “Yes. More or less.”e08c79a1004ca8b3

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“Did you have a bad dream?”49d2207c18207390

“Maybe.”4870dabc5bf32b5b

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“What kind of dream was it?”95c0c5a1f52b4391

He intended to comfort him. If Lewellyn had dreamed of dying, he wanted to tell him that it wouldn’t happen for about 60 years, and if Lewellyn had dreamed of being sick, he wanted to tell him that since the Lewellyn in the dream was sick, the Lewellyn in reality didn’t need to be sick.83d93ed71ef46604

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However, Lewellyn’s next answer made it impossible for Shavonne to even comfort him.9c83294618405905

“I don’t know… I forgot, so I’m not sure…”a8eb9851c7b6972a

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Then, he smiled briefly at Shavonne, who couldn’t hide his worried expression.ba9e1d2c8444ec39

“I’ll tell you if I remember.”4a8dd7cfa8ac8dec

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Shavonne knew that it wasn’t a genuine smile. But he decided not to say anything out of respect for Lewellyn’s wish not to talk about the dream. He only said this,0720dc0b7a7d375c

“Let’s sleep.”e920b9f56e33d500

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As he said this, he held out his hand. “You mean like holding hands while sleeping?” Lewellyn laughed out loud. It was a laugh that seemed deliberately made. Shavonne didn’t respond and instead grasped both of Lewellyn’s hands. After giving short kisses to each of the ten crushed fingernails, he held his hand. Cold hands and hot hands were together.ed9b2f4e2230a822

“Let’s hold hands.”5cb91d9bdd502507

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He said, 81a843cc5e as if 5d28a14b4b making a 1179945a1d declaration with f7b5faeb5e his eyes a7b8b899a3 closed.cb7472bed5ac2471

“Why did you kiss my hands…?”5d81576fe4662ea4

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“Go to sleep. Don’t add comments.”8a848a024bc77baf

“I love you.”58c6caa67458422d

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“I said don’t add comments.”932ccfe2ee9f304b

“You should set an example first, my beloved Shavonne.”952eda3148a99786

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“…”467fdcb92b5e49d9

That night, Lewellyn woke up several more times. Because of the sounds Lewellyn made every time he had a nightmare, Shavonne couldn’t sleep at all. But he never let go of his hand.b636ccd61f7864d4

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Lewellyn’s nightmares continued that day, the next day, and the day after that, but it was on the fifth day that Shavonne realized what Lewellyn was desperately muttering as if moaning.cbc3804ea7fd9fd4

Shavonne, don’t go.f1ca2f4cc238fb41

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That’s what Lewellyn, suffering from nightmares, was saying.b99a2b2d05576ab1

***50075d42a1bb8f65

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Turner said Shavonne’s eyes were red.19d66f3e86f890ae

“I couldn’t sleep.”c990083a4e2ed885

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He answered without thinking, then added, lest Turner might misunderstand. “I’m having nightmares.”a0c6bffcac53b1a1

Turner said he would give him sleeping pills. Shavonne agreed, imagining Lewellyn sleeping peacefully after taking the sleeping pills. He didn’t know that this choice would make Lewellyn lose consciousness.2d8347ff6674b3f6

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***22937379e4cf7cf5

The sound 8082d32e05 of rain 364bc8c0c8 could be 76cd2c5bcd heard.86abcbdd4d68d505

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Rain poured down over the detention center. Wherever the raindrops touched, mist formed. It was a pale mist so thick you couldn’t see an inch in front of you. It looked like the hazy smoke in the solitary cell that used to turn off his consciousness.73f7a52b19abb650

Although the rain and mist were things he had never seen before, having just left the solitary cell, he had no time to be amazed. He needed his god. Because he couldn’t be without pain for even a moment without his god. He intended to find Shavonne and bring him back to his side.98c2121ffed6659d

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The dog c7aef87541 is loose! The dog is loose!A shouting edad1664d8 voice sounded c380a8e7b7 from somewhere. The guards rushed in, a877948eec disappeared, rushed in again, d5b84f840c and disappeared again. Eventually, the 12431ab544 scene before 13d8721707 him cleared. Only one person, e62c15a284 Shavonne, remained.c0c5fd4f3d1610d2

― Shavonne, have you e09e247960 ever loved me?7d47ad4dec1e4f2f

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His voice 2a61173311 trembled as 8271f75ef7 he asked. Shavonne looked at fe931b26ff him steadily and c68f066f06 answered.e5095ce53c3baaf7

― Never. Not even once.dfad6383e909980e

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The sight of Shavonne’s back as he turned and left pierced his eyes. Shavonne, don’t go. He wanted to say 473176f76d it, he wanted to d421b42aca beg, but no voice 648373252b came out, as if d110b6afd1 someone had cut off fa4a1719b4 his tongue. Probably, it was because 635bdeac6d he was a dog.29a4ed8b8bd82f01

Yes, because 5660c7ff20 he was 20ab6251cd a dog. For a dog, sharp fef37e6b10 teeth to bite the 09fac5110f target were enough. A tongue b728291d56 to pray bbecb5e8c0 to God 9c03749eda not to 73c1f82e0a leave was 954d76a1b6 a luxury.da3971faeb9e97e1

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Gradually, his consciousness began to fade. Darkness creeped into his vision. Slowly, Shavonne’s back was buried in the darkness. He could no longer see Shavonne. He couldn’t see his god.509879aea3de97df

Shavonne, don’t go. Still, no voice 342dc4afc7 came out. Words that 8fcb7991b5 wouldn’t come c39377380a out were da84ff7f97 stuck in 8b6cc10f9b his throat.Shavonne, don’t go. Don’t go.Only his desperate wish fa18153d9a faded into the rain.426ca5cba3d52c94

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Shavonne, don’t abandon me.2197cab1ba0ef526

His god was gone. The sound of rain 89a9c9b18c erased the world.14212d38f5a19291

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His eyes opened.638860d8cb17b72a

The long eyelashes surrounding 96c4dbdddf his golden eyes trembled f8570a4643 slightly, and a droplet 34c23a4dd2 that had been forming 73e71f8c46 falled.Plop.The droplet falling e9ed6f97d5 near his eye d9f3344e54 made a light 90026815d9 sound.627cded69f8df607

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He thought it was a tear, but it wasn’t. It was a bead of sweat. Only after wiping his eyes with his sleeve did Lewellyn realize. His whole body was drenched in cold sweat. He was damp.6fa44858214905d4

Room 303 of the Ira Apartments. Looking around, the bed space next to where Shavonne should be was empty. It wasn’t surprising. It was now 10 AM. It had been at least three hours since Shavonne left for work. As Lewellyn lowered his gaze, he suddenly noticed something on the pillow Shavonne usually used. It was a note. Clumsily folded into the shape of a boat.3ea65cfc9d6e5c8b

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You seemed to be sleeping soundly for once, so I’m leaving first. Don’t sulk like a child because I didn’t wake you up.d1738f311f409d30

P.S. How on earth c8c219bf15 do you do 7613d25aff origami?8f59f50ff53d4b03

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After reading the postscript, Lewellyn’s lips, which had been ‘sulking like a child because he wasn’t woken up’, finally relaxed. Thinking about how Shavonne, who had probably only ever used paper for writing, must have struggled with the unfamiliar origami, his sadness naturally subsided.ff54c1a51f91d5b0

He briefly kissed the note. Thinking of it as a message from Shavonne made it incredibly sweet. Then he crumpled the note and shoved it deep into a desk drawer. Thinking of it as something that had received Shavonne’s touch in his place made him incredibly jealous. Either way, because it was Shavonne’s note, he didn’t dare throw it away.fb07bcde5e86b996

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He washed 708eadd524 up and ae277e0bd8 left the c5af8652f0 house. These days, Lewellyn was a4efb67caa visiting all the publishing a6dda80b80 houses in Bunch. Sometimes pretending 8f3c040755 to be 23b7c5f1ff an errand ad8a240194 boy, sometimes f6e74c6501 a police e20f48403a inspector on defeaa9d44 patrol, sometimes cf66b2be1a an eccentric ff03975fa2 aristocratic lord 25808cd6e3 interested in e210c391f8 books.334caf6e35305f26

The publishing houses were easily fooled. They were so completely deceived that they rattled off their company history, marketability, and vision to secure investment from ‘Lord Allium’. Deception was more effective when pretending to be upper class than when pretending to be lower class.c5a106094044feec

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‘It’s probably because of my face,’ Lewellyn thought. Lewellyn knew he was handsome. A beautiful appearance was a prerequisite for a ‘dog’. To eliminate a target, one must first approach them, and a beautiful appearance made that approach easier. Beauty makes people let their guard down. Nothing was as effective as beauty in thoroughly leading people’s attention away.2ab26588cfe4303b

The reason for visiting publishing houses was simple. The suspicious editor who claimed to be Shavonne’s fan. He intended to find out if this person was really an editor, and if so, what kind of scammer they were.da7339bd30cc3747

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Some might call 255e5b34b8 his way of 19ad2a39ea doing things inefficient 50de7992cf and they would eb76712454 not be wrong. Visiting each of the 164d3c3b55 573 publishing houses in 8057e60670 Bunch was indeed inefficient. But there was no 6db55a288e other way.9a5dfdfc6f6b7ea5

The security at the multifamily apartments, where the editor lived, was too extreme. There seemed to be at least twenty guards on patrol. There was a way to take them down and break in. But the problem was that breaking in wouldn’t automatically reveal the identity of the editor.8b57c3172d4078dd

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After breaking in, to find out the editor’s identity, he would have to immediately locate the editor’s apartment among hundreds. He would have to pick locks and search inside. He might even have to catch and threaten the editor himself.f9de51a4476d553a

But what if the 8710b5c4cd police came in the a07f3274ea meantime?57b6a84b5ca7aac7

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Arrest means execution. Execution means separation from Shavonne. Lewellyn didn’t want to be separated from Shavonne ever again. That alone was reason enough to refrain from taking the risk.68e3757fc3163ec1

That day, as ‘Lord Allium’, he visited two publishing houses but nothing came up. Well, trying to find someone with only the information of 8 years of experience was like looking for a needle in a haystack. It would have been good if he at least knew the hair or eye color, but he didn’t even know that.5b83023987a6447c

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In the evening, Lewellyn 726dccf887 returned home empty-handed. He met b894372574 Shavonne, who c649e075d9 had returned 9a38b63999 from work, ea1b5fb4d1 an hour 881505dd09 later. He lost consciousness and c4ffdbe6ff collapsed two hours after 2fb4c9fb12 that.d26d6d0a65abe962

He mixed the sleeping 694b0111d3 pills with water and 92295c02f4 made him drink it. That was all.4241629194e4a0a1

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The twilight 8eaf5c6e19 softly seeped 991b5c779f into the f08bc4f022 cozy gas 601d5147d6 lamps, the 58427e7293 giant platanus f7c7ddc393 trees swaying 63e8b2e751 in the c45fc69530 evening breeze, f72b78dc27 and the 900c1ed2fb Ira Apartments b62e79db17 with lights 6723c35725 on in 2babc12fb6 every home. The smell of baking 364ceeee31 bread wafted from somewhere, 6961446f73 and the sounds of 3314a6f414 playful children running through ec8b2b63c1 the streets and a 7badfe2d04 policeman shouting, followed by 457ecbabb2 shouted responses and spontaneous 792014762a laughter, could be heard. It was a 6bdf749f77 calm evening.089bbe806bd5a30a

Less than 30 minutes after taking the sleeping pills, Lewellyn fell into a deep sleep. Not gasping, not trembling or twisting his head. Not moaning, ‘Shavonne, don’t go.’d16d791a84a4ec0f

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Shavonne sat on the bed, looking down at Lewellyn’s sleeping face. A peaceful face. Closed eyes, a nose and lips without even a twitch, pretty cheeks. He wanted to caress him but stopped, worried he might wake him.b2f7b397c49bc03e

As he looked down, the thought crossed his mind that the drug Turner had given him must be quite something. It would have been good if he had known about the existence of sleeping pills just a week earlier. Then he wouldn’t have had to helplessly watch Lewellyn grow gaunt day by day, suffering from nightmares.0d02fe9619785fb5

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Hoping that peaceful dreams 5435075b62 would visit Lewellyn, Shavonne 07892c2657 got up.When he wakes up, Lewellyn will look restful. His eyes won’t be bloodshot from lack of proper sleep, and there won’t be dark circles under his eyes.9da73535fbbb8a86

Thinking about this made him feel lighter. Shavonne went to the typewriter and began to finish the writing he couldn’t complete at the multifamily apartments. The sound of the typewriter was loud.9a41366e2c3fc76d

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Lewellyn didn’t wake up. It was an eerily quiet sleep. Like death.e0b4f0999244d3c5

The amount of 2cfdfbb1bb sleeping pills Turner 01a611b4f2 gave was 3mg.43a2fa5e629d0439

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‘Can I sleep soundly for just four hours with this?’89a99a9e15138a44

This is what Shavonne had said when asking for 10mg. Turner replied that with this, even if he slept for an hour instead of four, it would be a deep sleep. Turner’s explanation was that for the first use, one should take a small amount, and when tolerance develops, then increase the dose. ‘You could die if you’re not careful.’ Turner’s face as he warned him was vivid in his mind.481d4868f92a6866

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3mg. He said that for 63b23021cc an adult male, they dfdf786072 would wake up in d8e0e225c7 three hours at the 874228098b earliest, four hours at aa464111c3 the latest. In other words, Lewellyn b42613fe03 should have woken up 169dec765a by 10 PM at efd0fb54ee the latest.fc440943c3206533

But.59ea611ac896b1dd

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“…”117d43294107f737

The clock on the table that his eyes happened to fall on as he looked around was pointing to twelve o’clock.6777df665e7e2bb4

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Shavonne’s hands, which had been tapping the typewriter, stopped abruptly.f0d0a416e558fb78

“…”c360a09aa56743d5

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A dry swallow went 9b686d825c down his throat.ed7a739622aed70b

Lewellyn was still sleeping. There was no ed35c46463 sign that he a3d689f995 had woken up 25b7c79614 or had been 1ccfa0f1f8 awake. A chilling 1f491a7c56 anxiety wet 32b3bf8953 the nape 577435e8fb of his d6bb00e0f7 neck.e3aab96ed07a4c89

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It’s past ten, why isn’t he waking up?342647d6df5f152d

…Why?43584b7eee71167f

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A deep night where you couldn’t see an inch in front of you was covering the entire Ira Street. Room 303 was also pitch black. If it weren’t for the candle he had lit to write, nothing would have been visible.dfa2aab1d6108810

When the sound dda18b26f9 of the typewriter ad1e9ab5ad stopped, what filled 6e67911bab the house was b05d84df7d silence. The silence e7e3d2d687 made all 2c914b46e0 sounds louder. The creaking bfd6985055 of the df787f30fe rotten wooden b69da8f360 floor, the c7a4cee692 ticking of cb1fd2823b the clock, 08635178ab the sound 56122a94a6 of breathing.ab5f750a0dfe7e42

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There was a loud, rapid breathing sound. Shavonne thought it was Lewellyn’s breathing, but it wasn’t. It was Shavonne’s breathing. Lewellyn wasn’t making any sound. Not even the sound of breathing.93b5ba0bd7a0897b

Lewellyn was sleeping soundly. Not gasping, not trembling or twisting his head. Not moaning, ‘Shavonne, don’t go.’ He was exactly the same as six hours ago. Looking at Lewellyn, who wasn’t moving at all, anxiety crawled up his throat like a bug.a5eb1047f5fbd4fa

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“…Mr. Lewellyn.”7087c04660fe023c

He called, 5a97e43a2f but there 587246f7dd was no b5766c53a0 response.15b8e6bea968cefd

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b4f3ec42f9385856