MLCD Chapter 4.5

The guards tried to drag him away. He resisted. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to go back to the solitary cell. He could have if they told him to go back. If they told him to live without taking even one step out, he could have done so for his entire life. As long as Shavonne was there. As long as Shavonne was there, he could have done it forever.7c7862f2979828cc

But not now. He couldn’t let go of Shavonne, who was looking coldly at him, saying he had never loved him. He couldn’t let Shavonne leave.0065ee680e63a70d

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However, at that moment, 3ea54be87d a guard smothered his dfc6fb3e1a face with a towel 8df4cf911c that smelled acrid. He twisted his body 8cdeb82022 and resisted, but it 35586fa63f was useless. Gradually, he d930952140 couldn’t feel 5b9c948b7f anything at f7267da089 all. His resistance b47f697b1e was futile 818b1c7b51 in the a1e0f315e7 face of 9eb06c8bdc the anesthetic. He felt his d07dcdc2d6 body collapse. Perhaps it 5272660ffc was his cc2d25c2df mind that efbb99582c was collapsing.704254b999eb8e9f

His consciousness flickered. Like when 7efde7d66d he had 24f75afca7 inhaled the 910037535d hazy smoke, 29c57701f8 his consciousness fe9115641c faded, came ca990843e0 back, faded, bf4d6e4f34 repeatedly. In the 3392226ce1 last moment b285d4773f of consciousness, 9d88941ef8 he mustered fd9d9cecb7 all his ba86314641 strength to eb7e8fd15f look up cdfb7747d7 at Shavonne. But Shavonne was fd341ef653 not looking down a9249cd231 at him. He had already dee5480b42 turned his back bd8bff169b and was walking e48bbfed34 away into the 752ea4f6f7 distance.73c433678c8a4000

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As he watched the 16d5470cb7 receding back, his consciousness 5977fd0ca1 soon faded. Darkness covered 279bb4b3b7 his eyes.5a649528d8af151b

***c4a9bb2058928058

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He saw the 7a445c5c1a ceiling.8cf91f3ba974247c

The ceiling was all aa3952caf1 gray. Due to being built 8d9f0b168b with unrefined stones, the fca6a3eb0c surface was particularly bumpy. At times, the bumps c62d89c1bd looked not like bulges eec4aed6ee but like thousands, tens 317592194c of thousands of writhing 3e82c99712 insects. It was like b0969f5bf9 that now too. The incandescent 7ef3a535de light bulb ce42f3b26a hanging in bc39d827dd the middle 478b12b949 of the 771829483b ceiling casted 7db5dd25ca light and 6f8ab4dc5b shadow over f1b064d606 the swarm c61c1a4172 of insects.68aba02076ece9df

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Once, he 9c8013adad asked if 75329508aa that was d6f0cc856e the sun. When he asked, 1641cde1e8 the man shook d4d7511d02 his head and d6a872c27e explained,‘No, Lewellyn. The sun is a much bigger, warmer, and more dazzling light.’A light much a9f0e40fc2 bigger, warmer, and cb5c0bdc9a more dazzling than 3af4de5cf8 the incandescent light.f3d1ced7dd2ce969

He stared blankly at the man. The question ‘Is it you?’ rose to the tip of his tongue. The man, about to continue reading the book, noticed his gaze. He looked up and met his eyes, then wrinkled his nose and smiled. And then…b51e6da2610e53e0

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At that moment, the image of the man’s back walking away came to mind. His consciousness, wandering through memories, stopped. The man was no longer by his side. The man had left.e19c20a02215626a

Memories flooded into his empty mind. The sound of rain. And amidst the sound of rain, the man’s resolute voice echoing.c9495c981aef509d

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― Never. Not even once.be3de034a5f8a74f

He got up.c24d39351b83bbe9

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He had been dee2b88894 sleeping on the 3bf04988eb bare floor of 0fae12a350 the solitary cell. There was no 8a05bf1b55 blanket. Not only was there 72d097757a no blanket, but there c8ce2d84e2 were also no clothes, c2c14db52f dishes, two towels, or b2d8fbbe57 the three or four cfa8c780d5 old books. Except for 5a0e2d3e05 the watch 24681fb883 Shavonne had 700384e93c given him, e38bf31c10 none of 2d74d745de the luggage 74ee2cb019 Shavonne had 961ad1c592 brought remained.6c5ee152eba635bb

Shavonne wasn’t there either.e5551fa80c71349a

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Shavonne.05aba8a31789ea63

Drip, like 562d6cdcdf a drop d827507c7e of blood 41f32bd0f8 falling onto 051b2312d7 water, that 8d6494f863 name fell 1216e29685 into his 297e2eb36b mind.Drip, drip. It spread. Everything turned bright red.3cf08232524711dc

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Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne.56eb8b5f3f490b15

I must find Shavonne. Shavonne can’t be gone. He can’t be gone…94398507631ca351

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He stood up. No, he tried to stand up. But the next moment, unable to control his body, he collapsed heavily onto the floor. His whole body was a mess due to the beating he had taken while unconscious. His shoulders, waist, arms…, every part was in bad shape, but the worst was his right leg. It throbbed so much that he couldn’t even put strength into it.411ee7cd0f8f164b

He managed to e0cb89ee86 raise his body d9876ff9ac by leaning on adc938f3d8 the ventilation pipe. Even just that was 2fbdc1f43e enough to make his 4279edb51b face turn pale and a131a3bea2 sweat pour down like 63145a6e06 rain. Dragging his 6b850b45a9 limping leg, e0797a96e1 he headed 4e0217979f towards the d298f596df iron door.0ade5e044a996db0

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He grabbed the door 153d943733 handle. The cold door 64b2da2bae handle sucked in a80e90ed17 his hand.f17603b2102d4a5b

He pushed. It didn’t budge.75f4f12742b5c4e6

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He pulled. It didn’t budge.2d9a2c0c43b0852c

Thud. His forehead fell and hit the iron door. He didn’t know what ‘locked up’ meant. He didn’t understand even when Shavonne once said, ‘Damn it. If you’re going to be like this, you should have said ‘I’ll lock you up here’ instead of asking me to live with you.’48a118aa1cc74ad8

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But not now. He knew exactly what ‘locked up’ meant. ‘Locked up’ meant he couldn’t go to Shavonne. He was locked up. In a solitary cell not even eight steps wide or long. In a place without Shavonne.e5f71a8ead9f513e

Thud, thud, thud.He repeatedly hit his 293dfd190d forehead. His forehead split ed224ed102 and blood flowed. It flowed down 2ef78c817d his nose and 7cc3577b91 cheeks, breaking at e72e85ab51 the tip of dedf13f917 his chin. His vision be6cc47949 turned completely b91d724c86 red with 43c8df5fbe the blood f0b45a729b clinging to 5f9925b13a his eyelashes. Ignoring this, 47a9ff09f7 he hit, 7b159384d5 hit, and 9f7fc58826 hit again.f356fc4f66a1206d

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It was then that he heard a sound. He stopped hitting his forehead and raised his head. Some sound was coming from beyond the iron door. Some… footsteps. The moment he recognized the familiar footsteps, light suddenly returned to his hazy eyes.d535bbdb9f3e1930

Shavonne.9de3e21bb7faa360

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― Are you awake?2509a7e03c5db807

He hadn’t heard wrong. The voice coming from beyond the iron door was Shavonne’s. It was unmistakable.f1aee7e3f7438768

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He frantically wiped his face. The blood didn’t wipe off but instead smeared messily across his temples, cheekbones, and ears, but he didn’t notice.c81bec5b8ee3fb88

Nod, nod. Even knowing Shavonne couldn’t see him, he nodded his head repeatedly as best he could. Even knowing he couldn’t be heard, he repeated the answer like a parrot, “Mn. I’m awake. Yes.” Only one thought occupied his mind.675431e9fff1b57a

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‘Shavonne came back. Shavonne came back to me, to me…’dc1894b78437dbc3

His heart was 13442ebccf pounding. Feverish thoughts continued.Yes, Shavonne has been having cold and warm days lately. The Shavonne who said he has never loved me even once was having a cold day. The Shavonne who has now returned to me is having a warm day. So, so we are…d15c7acdf3134b62

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It was 7b368eff52 at that 4897f65500 moment. The following 6dcfc3c9f0 voice shattered 2b3dbb4617 his thread 04a8cd7b31 of hope.5e9933b0fb2cbe6b

― I hope you’re awake. I came to say goodbye.d2d8f1467bb9a487

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Goodbye.4be77ebe6c8cbccf

His breath slowed, then quickened, then slowed again. He wanted to think he had heard wrong, but he knew he hadn’t. He looked up at the iron door, holding his breath. The image of Shavonne standing beyond the iron door, the cold face Shavonne might be making, appeared in his mind.2ce3cde359a2b761

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A chilling sensation struck 30346ffe75 the nape of his 24fc6fb516 neck. A cool sensation ran dcbaf3f74c down his spine, like b5e0996171 when he saw Pharrell 3b6697886b coming when he was ceb53bc457 smaller than a baton. He tried to step e057cab7fb back. However, because he 5dd7795527 put his damaged 2a949e54e3 right leg down 4e316b84b9 first instead of 577752c9c9 his healthy left 78954f8441 leg, he staggered b0cb6f0384 and fell. It felt as ac287eb19a if someone had 57f0e3be71 pushed him.1d4aaf4b2b5cf16f

Shavonne, standing 11584cd4af beyond the af2988bf7b iron door, c5ecdaaf9b perhaps with 0ea06e09d3 a dry ec8ec7c66a expression, perhaps fcea1592c3 with a 083cb7aaa1 cold expression, e1362ce3ca spoke to bdca0f3695 him as fc67e32c86 he sat 42beaf76c2 helplessly on 10e880f38f the floor fd76b9139f looking up 328996fbed at the 670420a484 iron door. The sentence was c806ba34be pronounced.eec08823fcb8fb46

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― I’m leaving.1c77b89d5075cb91

He wished he didn’t know what the word ‘leaving’ meant. He wished he knew nothing. Not even the alphabet Shavonne had taught him, nor the words, nor O:).8fefebec26dc6330

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Suddenly, he 20a6ea15cb remembered the 8bf5deedf9 day Shavonne 7b076f8b3a opened the 7d26f79466 iron door 5154dc0102 with the c313a58653 superintendent.‘It’s a unique dog. If not now, you may never get to see it.’ ‘don’t care. I don’t have the guts to risk my life out of curiosity.’ The two voices coming from beyond the iron door confused his memory. He wanted to go back to that day. He wanted to meet Shavonne like back then. He didn’t want to part like this.1fe4bc94e70fa257

― I’m going to Bunch.6a7f84307026e715

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After a 19ecb448ab pause, he e762647dde explained.7bf772e73f30a1d3

― Bunch is 6c939cd5d8 the capital of 0b99d724c5 our country. The capital. Understand? The place 44f793790f where the 28637a8eb1 royal palace 64e1bed67a is.884d0d65d79d0c2c

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He wasn’t curious about what kind of place Bunch was. Even if it turned out that Bunch was Shavonne’s hometown, he wouldn’t have cared at all. What was important to him now was not Bunch, but whether Shavonne would come back or not.b8864007a5f772b1

“Will you be back?”61825e9c2a186a29

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He asked, even though he knew he wouldn’t be heard. He couldn’t help but ask. His voice was thin and trembling.c317ea9c6ae32406

― It’s a city that has everything. There’s a palace, and a parliament, and a cathedral. There’s a library, an art galleries, and a museum. There are lots of theaters… It’s different from this wasteland.”37e42700772dd2ce

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“Will you come back?”3a478acc9c370f95

Shavonne, will you c432d7acbe come back? He asked again in a hoarse voice. He wished he would nod his head and say yes as his answer had a happy tone in it. Even though he couldn’t hear him, perhaps a miracle would happen and he would hear him.8333d66f52826695

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― I’ll be happy there. To the point that I won’t need to dream of anything…737e2de846414927

“…Shavonne.”675f8557edb1cf51

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― So…87243584c97c2735

“Shavonne.”fbc0fc2b120238b2

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Miracles might exist. Miracles that can save the dying and heal the incurable – perhaps they could even prevent the leaving. But miracles weren’t for him. Miracles were too busy to spare the time to look after him.4700629f8acbf3ed

― Don’t wait for me.674d3fbcb7dd15b3

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Transparent blood had fb483f6fd1 begun to flow e662aeb9b1 from his eyes. The transparent 8d97965bdc blood mixed 37e7632a5d with the 66b0441918 red blood 520bdb82ee clinging to a9c82b46ea his eyelashes 05034b2f7b and ran 7b41d8452d down his 726b8e3b07 cheeks. Whether it was red a8fd428a61 or transparent blood, it f93bbfb536 silently left a long 0ae986e20a stain.15a09bfae98586a4

If only he could d3ad4c8d47 ask,if I bite the guards, will you come? If I’m hurt, will you come? If I die, will you come? If I… become a person, will you come?1eae2141030ad1c1

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― I won’t be back.ee841ca335d2db06

After a silence, the sound of footsteps slowly fading away, one step, two steps, could be heard. His vision quickly blurred to the point he couldn’t see anything.c59160154b91e0c1

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I slowly b4e8cd7db4 reached out ce1121fa3d my hand 76938862fc towards the 80d52705d2 iron door. Caressing, tracing, and 1d0d67f40d stroking the iron 62077beb41 door, as if 5a15185f4e touching Shavonne who 6892e33a09 was leaving beyond 5e444f25c5 it. Even after the retreating 21335a5664 footsteps had become completely a124acdc50 inaudible, his hand didn’t 5464aa9e27 stop.e739d9e0e49ab790

Eventually, it 34c1a83d6b grew silent.¹f65fc7daebb7ac2d

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― Hello…?3c871a93b4360a48

― Anyway, there’s no dog as handsome as you. I’m serious.1665660065f6528c

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― You 118a4a5f81 need to 135e38eff5 get better. Instead of just letting ddc1f79c65 the words go in 810c3af02c one ear and out e2de10c749 the other, you need d6be296f6c to listen carefully.779956b1d10dec14

― … ’round the neck of the bottle was a paper label, with the words `DRINK ME’ beautifully printed on it in large letters’… You’re not listening, are you?8f84c3dc7acb58f8

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― I know. I guess it’s because I like you.7517279532e692d6

― Do you want 62b586488c to do a face?df442a3dfd35aa2e

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There was a c99de345a8 time when he e9e02e5280 thought Shavonne might 87da3a7195 not be as 4bd42c1c24 harmless as he 6fc26ba085 had thought, but b7a6a1811e that he would f770422f90 harm him in 6fa4753912 a way he db377d8f28 had never experienced e65da249b1 before. He was right. Shavonne had been the aabcbf5446 most painful of all 5b984ac3d1 things that had ever 59fe05959d happened to him..58b13ab9e9228702

***594c8442f10a43ec

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That day, Pharrell came to visit. Pharrell had a very displeased expression, and in a more nervous and violent voice than ever before, he said that he had to be disposed of. He also said that the penitentiary’s position was that they could no longer waste time, manpower, and budget on a dog that didn’t listen to a single word.4d73366829a81815

Disposed of. Time, manpower, budget, penitentiary, position. Dog that didn’t listen to a word. As he slowly thought of the words that didn’t say anything to him, he looked up at Pharrell. Then he asked.4dd2c5a19ce335da

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“What if I listen?”a59df68769b1d6de

Pharrell, annoyed, swept his hair back, but then paused, frozen. “What?” His voice had a slight rise, as if he had heard unexpected words. He asked again.d56c44a14f723791

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“What if I listen well?”2c7517a8ceb395c0

Pharrell looked down at him blankly. The sharp gaze had somehow rounded into a puzzled look. He asked one more time, clearly, so that Pharrell would not stupidly ask “What?” or just stare blankly without answering.f0634350f8a36131

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“Then can I become a person?”13533bdb8ba43010

After a pause, Pharrell answered. “You can.” The voice contained an undisguisable laughter.5bf50e72494a9147

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Pharrell proposed a deal. When asked what 3745fdf4c8 the deal was, 981f63e50f Pharrell made him 215962fa44 remember.‘Give me Shavonne.’ ‘It’s not like I can’t do that. But there’s a condition. Will you do it?’ Then, just as he had promised to take care of Shavonne in the future as a condition for giving Shavonne to him, Pharrell called it a “deal”. Pharrell made a deal with him.8ff56d968f250a5f

The content was that if he made him a “person” who would be absolutely obedient to the warden of Lute Penitentiary, would not bite the guards, and would not do any unauthorized acts, Pharrell would make him a person. He accepted. He had no choice but to accept.13787307c567ee0e

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He kept 44201eef03 the deal 3b9c8d78c7 perfectly.b63adb6185bc3479

Until 7 c2f7a2155b years later, ffffec79e6 when he 80f86c9791 learned the 92502866b3 truth.4a0ff9a22b879af3

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***a5c1699156f3d29d

7 years later.626619d64d397ab3

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A diamond-shaped chandelier fcdd3cad76 showered the entire 8f47f6dde3 hall with dazzling 760557d5ca light.c841afc34563bcc2

Someone said that among fad87a1137 the entire Bunch, only f9aeccf7a6 the Nor Hall of 9fc5a92698 McEwan Castle could be ee982c5bcc compared to the Arun d565d9e64a Hall of Arun Palace. When he heard bbd8db144a it from Pharrell, 423a91dfdb he just thought 203b9a0db3 it was an 5733a820ec exaggeration of an 8a1f887df0 anti-royalist, but seeing d38dd7b170 it in person, 3d7ca1f654 that wasn’t the 74cdca22b9 case.81788a9a7a0bd1ff

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The McEwan Castle, built 400 years ago along the Wild River, was 5 stories tall, with 250 rooms, a library with 12,800 books, a simple yet beautiful prayer room, and above all, the huge Nor Hall, a party hall that fully deserved the adjective “huge”, was famous, and indeed, the reputation was not in vain.c6eefc4d97a2a6c4

The hall overlooking 5570f13590 the night sky 8a7e7f17b6 had three long 4a08870964 dining tables, all e3bbdf3fac filled with sweet f59b206894 desserts. Among them, 9a13b2829e two desserts d6b6dabb41 were drawing 0af817ec57 admiration from 1920bd4a14 all the 8ea8033562 guests: the d92466f77c fondue and 47c04b0174 panna cotta cedcbadfcb made by 4c80124d47 Jules, a 56242a94f1 former court 8eb3335ecc chef at 1054d16dd9 the Bosch 0c583d6394 Palace.6c854e08b9740345

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“It’s a taste I’ve never tried, not even when invited to royal banquets,” “I’ve had fondue and panna cotta countless times, but I’ve never had anything this amazing. If possible, I’d like to meet Chef Jules. I wonder what kind of tongue and hands he has to create such an admirable taste…”6c1525677e4377c3

With so much praise pouring out, he was also curious and took a little taste. It wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t bad either. If only it had some chopped onions in it, it would have been better.0cc513b03c0224a8

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Onions. The moment he thought of it, a face flashed in his mind. O:). Black hair, green eyes. His pale lips moved, ‘That’s it. Onions.’ He licked the caramel syrup on his fingertips and casually thought. Today is e51ffd6fc7 the ninety-seventh e22122d04d time, no, 4d943aab17 the ninety-eighth 0883eee8cf time?He counted on his 57ee08d01e fingers one by one.702cce25285618e3

The first was when he was sleeping. The second was when he woke up. The third was when he looked out the window and saw the sun rising on the ridge. The fourth was when he drew the blackout curtains. The fifth was when the curtain fluttered in the wind and fell with a thud. The sixth was when he breathed. The sixth was when he washed the blood off his body. The seventh was when he dried his body with a towel. The eighth was when he was in pain. The ninth was when he was not in pain. The tenth was when he ate food or took the drugs Pharrell gave him. The eleventh was when he bit into food with his teeth or licked with his tongue, the twelfth was when his lips moved, the thirteenth was when he absent-mindedly bit the tender flesh in his mouth, and the fourteenth was… After counting them one by one, he realized that he had thought of the man’s face not ninety-eight times, but a hundred and thirty-five times today.d2085e3832949cb0

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The man was in the chandelier and in the hall and on the dining table and in the fondue and panna cotta and in the sweet caramel syrup. The man was the world. He was everywhere in the world. So no matter when or where or what he did, he couldn’t avoid the man.43e470bc52d96652

In the beginning, when he didn’t know this fact, he tried to avoid him. He would crawl into the unused oven, go into the closet, or squeeze his body into a large empty barrel in the basement and close the lid… But in the black dust of the oven, in the darkness of the closet, on the grayish surface of the empty barrel, he saw the man. He saw the back of the man disappearing and vanishing forever.9c115654ce4221c5

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He had seizures every time. Sometimes he would have a seizure and faint, and sometimes he wouldn’t. It was the Vice Warden who pulled him out of the oven, closet, and barrel. The Vice Warden would click his tongue and spit on his head, saying, “You’ve really become a complete idiot.”8f1f443d08e06973

“Mr. Allium?”43a0e65f891d48fd

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Someone called him. He stopped remembering. The face of be3a206e3c the Vice Warden 8a34f0de9d spitting on him 79208c737a and the face 0bc8ae3634 of Pharrell sighing a4050d58f3 disappeared. The surprised 21bab7442e face of b1631881c4 the Vice 1c60839761 Warden and 1bbcfeb709 the smirking 538877fbb5 face of 9dd7abdf84 Pharrell also 66e0e5f76a disappeared. Stopping his ab90107933 memories was 5ffa1e5a20 easy. But only on 83f6903867 the condition that 35498ab990 it was not 1f9a64ea5f a memory of 1926da77f7 the man.b443066aef1dbcda

“Please call me Allium. Mr. Allium is too formal.”f23e2d8486bd4a5e

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He smiled brightly. His smile was radiant. Radiant smile, perfectly combed hair, a tailcoat, and a beautiful face. With just these, he could melt anyone’s guard down.17af60d14fc146c4

As expected, a gentle glow appeared in Mrs. Fisher’s green eyes. Green. He recalled the man’s face. A vivid green color that was much brighter than the one Mrs. Fisher had flashed across his mind. This was the hundred and thirty-sixth time.4d634b270a7dd9b9

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“I heard you were looking for Cutter(*the nickname for Regan Fisher, Mrs. Fisher’s husband). I heard you brought the brandy used at the Barbara Palace banquet…”7f0121bc39ab3f28

Mrs. Fisher subtly 3ea0999059 changed the 5bb584ab2b subject. Her eyes were 8b82327e38 demanding an explanation. He complied, still cf1acf6028 smiling.8738612efae8294d

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“It’s the Kirsch(*Cherry liquor) from Martha Hill. It’s a rare delicacy that barely makes it into the palace once a year.”a54dc649e55e291f

“It doesn’t seem very famous, does it? I’ve never even heard of Kirsch from Martha Hill.”86c310b10220c59a

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“It may not be famous outside of Barbara. The Kirsch from Martha Hill is special. The storage and drinking methods are completely different from ordinary Kirsch. If you don’t follow the rules, this delicacy that barely makes it into the palace once a year turns into a cheap, trashy Kirsch.”08704aba1dd4225a

“Did you just call it trashy?”47790719ebbb8efc

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“Huh? What does trashy mean?”b88985fbf1f46159

It was 8226c4f251 all a b9431a516b lie. There was no 7df06f3c4a Martha Hill in f17d92b275 Barbara. Of course, 7d439fb13f cherries didn’t b0f64755f0 grow there 04a63d7a2d and cherry 4e76079781 liquor wasn’t d38a2d8437 produced there. Of course, 765a89a548 the storage 08401bab78 and drinking 4d08e11bbb methods weren’t c7fad2032c completely different 1d03f6c3ac from ordinary 1b8ed419de Kirsch, and c1d4f7795b it wasn’t cbc6ac649d a rare cbf44ea85b delicacy that 9e6abdc619 barely made 00f502ffec it into 6f88f7f5c5 the palace bc6e9a3181 once a 81291fc023 year. This liquor never 7a1ad2fbdb existed.7b571d629f9e688f

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He was lucky. Mrs. Fisher seemed to believe his explanation. If she didn’t, he would have had to sneak into the guest room where Regan Fisher was staying in the middle of the night.b951d44ca829dd1a

Mrs. Fisher said she would guide him to the room where Regan Fisher was. “You’re so kind.” He smiled. Mrs. Fisher also smiled back. “Allium, you’re very kind too.” Kind, huh. Would she still think 2e7b362bea I was kind if 29513f609e she knew I have ad4a7b1e26 come to kill her 6ecd4e46ff husband?He was curious about 13a8c66d28 it.f5c45313c815321f

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The light of 41c7b7dbb5 the chandelier sparkled e7ae5c6b7c behind his back. It was a 7393edf29b big, warm, and 212c403fe7 dazzling light. The brighter the light, e80ffc2858 the darker the shadow. A black shadow 41d5c3f80f like the nights 52b1e4d756 at the penitentiary d33b0c3287 stretched out under eee6a27efc his feet.7e14f119e17d8afc

Strychnine.c86841f2c31f408a

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A poison extracted from the seeds and bark of its tree. A small amount could be used as a stimulant, but consuming more than that paralyzed the nerves and caused the muscles to contract, leading to an agonizing death by suffocation. It’s famous for being the “laughing death,” but contrary to popular belief, it didn’t actually make the victim laugh. The facial expression just changed to a smile as the muscles contracted.028cc13ddf156392

The lethal dose is 1-2 mg per 1 kg. According to what Pharrell taught him, Regan’s weight was 65 kg, so he prepared a generous amount of 150 mg, which would be more than enough. If the lethal dose was ingested, it would take no more than 2 minutes for him to die.ecc0e7de88b1419e

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2 minutes.7c68226c533e395e

He checked 4d44979d1c his wristwatch. 11:29:12. In 2 55d438bae7 minutes, Regan b0abf4a453 Fisher would 4e555736c8 be dead.1bb52d61108cb605

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He seated in Regan Fisher’s chair, drank the Kirsch, and looked down at the writhing Regan Fisher in a businesslike manner. Regan Fisher seemed to be in severe pain and was unable to make any sound, twisting his body. His eyes were slowly widening and his lips were starting to curl upwards in an expression that seemed to form a smile as his muscles contracted.36221da34392f2e3

The Kirsch that Regan 24a42d3b86 Fisher drank was not 479a084e6c pure cherry liquor. It was a mixture 0571e7bf45 of large amounts of 829ff80419 cherry liquor (a cheap, f3ffd4292a trashy one sold on fb4ff587bc the streets) and a 4bd94887f6 small amount of chloroform, 6fb1d1258d in which 150 mg 421a4a86b0 of strychnine was dissolved.33ca15edf193f4da

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Regan Fisher fe86158ab7 was his d74657a058 target. Or more precisely, the 9548692cca target of Pharrell, the ad2c64e148 one who gave him f1e7129d45 orders. And even more fd3ab459ef precisely, the target 40c4d986f0 of a faceless 5c21ea1348 ‘higher-up person’ who 134b48079f could give orders 2b07a7e3ce even to Pharrell, ac4c05138a the warden of f0259d6148 the Lute Penitentiary.d76fca12b2c9d836

Over the past 7 years, he had eliminated eleven targets on the orders of Pharrell and the ‘higher-up’. He never asked why they had to be eliminated. He wasn’t particularly curious about it, and didn’t need to be. He had only overheard that they were secretly eliminating people who couldn’t be publicly punished for some reason.3540e63f3a5bf7e3

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Someone had plotted 2b95c37be2 a rebellion, someone d3172bbee4 had been secretly 8658e4cdbf eating away at a110177878 the national treasury, 8bffd71162 and someone had 88909188de created a secret 31e5f38e24 organization to kidnap, 75f55aa3bf rape, and kill db722659ab international figures in 6607086dc3 order to disrupt cfab8e0c63 diplomatic relations and 7f71753e0e ignite a war.19c314f29d3240ae

In Regan Fisher’s case, the twelfth target, the reason was that he had sold military secrets to the enemy country. An insider had turned him in. The fact that thousands, even tens of thousands of civilians would be sacrificed in the event of war, according to the insider’s warning, had been ignored.9330780567e3afdf

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…10 seconds, 11 seconds, 12 seconds. As it became 11:31:12, he took his eyes off the watch and got up from his seat. Regan Fisher, lying at his feet, did not move. As is typical of those killed by strychnine, his eyes were wide open and his face was frozen in a smile-like expression, completely still.c90fcc904f55b072

He left the room, 54ecc0894e not through the door 50d3d897c0 where the servants were 51f96db853 waiting, but through the 33f4d3d35d balcony. He easily climbed down 646cc27480 to the ground using cb843ae9b3 the balcony railing, window b205f9b9ea columns, and wall decorations.4bb2a3f00b394f71

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It was a clear, 31b58e2f03 cool autumn night with 71cc702edc a full moon. A chilly wind 8565278ade blew from somewhere. He stopped and waited d33f57dd41 for the wind to 244541543f die down, not even cf96d6f449 noticing his neatly combed 8d91171b12 hair and suit being 9b7d021dba disheveled by the wind. It was 50a32e2b24 a 7-year-old a1453f097b habit of 18fe13bf92 his not 712df1ba01 to just 859c2c7867 let the f71c5ce3a6 wind pass 58ee125720 by.6b0a28d4bd912530

As he left the castle, the carriage prepared by Pharrell was waiting. As soon as he got in, the coachman asked, “Did you kill him?”04a6b84afbcddfc7

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He took off the tailcoat suit and put on the coat prepared on the seat. He messed up his hair with his hands, making it into a disheveled mess. “You can check in tomorrow’s 《4e0fd73628a95097

Daily McEwan》, on the front page.”9649244b7d1bbae2

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After the confirmation, 7fb91364f1 the coachman handed 592aa512fa him a sleeping e34c7bd3a5 pill. Pharrell didn’t 4517f86dc5 allow him 7177fe7ca6 to be 7ecad39dea awake anywhere f4a3adc529 other than 80672e79bf the site 45d15dd0c8 of the be9bc815f5 mission, meaning acc3da692d he had 4492308b19 to be a346ae10dd asleep on a12e03e8c5 the carriage f4517a1f4e both coming 53e64be285 to and 71a26344cc leaving McEwan 9c7f99b15c Castle.5eb742d48f682942

He didn’t know the reason. It might be because they were afraid he would try to escape during the trip, or because they thought he would be tired from carrying out the mission. Or maybe not. Regardless of the reason, he had to obey absolutely.44361371e7a3f07f

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The sleeping pill eb114ef618 took effect quickly. As his consciousness began 0aac961aa4 to fade, he habitually 1c4f0c71f8 checked his watch. 11:58. Looking at fdaee41f7b the large 3e964e0dc4 tilted hands cd33405b23 between 11 6891930222 and 12, 4a1452ce0c he recalled c75566b30a a voice. The voice of the 856bd85e19 man who said he 6ed00471bf would go out to 40237519ff get some air when 1b7d6331f2 the big hand pointed e502195fbf to 11, and would b67d55ec95 come back before the 2577aacca5 big hand pointed to 706ba08936 12, and then they c3037b46f1 would go to sleep.e481336bd0cdf3f1

Would the man be 0f441a8ef7 asleep too?014d4db8b12aac3a

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In Bunch, the capital, the place with everything, where there were theaters and a parliament and libraries and art galleries and a museum, the place where he became so happy that he didn’t need to dream anymore, was the man also sleeping there now?8b23c11a284dbc97

In the ac38dea0db place he 0084468706 could never 7e65b02e35 go, how 33e72e4975 happy would ed3884da02 the man d83e5f1621 be sleeping 8594fcfb89 right now?0915aecf59ede8db

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His consciousness faded. A frightening 1adf72ff10 blackness of 7f102d53bf sleep rushed 5c22dc0d75 to him.668d22b48628fd0c

***031501d4e1f01aea

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The past 7 years could be divided into two periods. The time when he didn’t know the fact that he shouldn’t meet the man again, and the time when he did know.999a140f38f7a9de

The former was the d25c560b57 first year, and the 69362b2406 latter was the following e201292e70 6 years.73d80cde2efc4399

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During the first 03fd8afd8f year, Pharrell taught 3c6c2e2ede him how to 4181853bd6 precisely eliminate the e82be4f413 targets. He taught him 184a48e80d about firearms, vital 209e0e8467 points, and how bf4362d866 wolfsbane causes cardiac 4af401461d arrest, monkshood causes bb7ec83ad2 asphyxiation, and belladonna 46125ac040 causes cardiac arrest.9b0c225eba75bc6f

Next, he taught him common sense, like the fact that it was the year 1907, and that Prince Lewellyn, the heir to the throne, was born nearly 20 years ago. When he said “Lewellyn? Lewellyn is my name,” he was slapped hard. Pharrell, an extreme royalist, found it blasphemous for him to claim such a name.8b0fdaf6cb74377e

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Pharrell said he 26e327261a had no name. He argued that 455c2624df he had the f71340522f name Lewellyn, which b105295e48 Shavonne had given 9ddea227b8 him, but when 65fa5c4db6 Pharrell snorted and dbc6724430 pointed out that 60d1e94f88 no one would ef3dd94d8a call him that 2dce78ef94 since Shavonne was 0ea9950826 gone forever, he 9025cf8940 became as silent c343e1ce51 as a mute.fa7883f1193340e3

That’s how he became “he.” He couldn’t be Lewellyn anymore.fdd229d24f936195

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Towards the end of the first year, Pharrell corrected him when he saw visions of Shavonne’s back disappearing in the black dust of the oven, the darkness of the closet, and the grayish surface of the empty barrel. At first, Pharrell thought it would improve with time, but his mental delusions only worsened as time passed.46ccbfd5003f05f0

Pharrell said Shavonne had left. That it was time to let go of Shavonne. He said he didn’t want to let go. He said he wanted to become a person to meet Shavonne again.17153b804d8e8c15

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— That’s a bad idea.1959d3f107fd7c0e

Pharrell said.52d93407fc13742e

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— Why 4d90599f62 do you 8b842f28ea think Shavonne 95542b60f0 left you?974a386d0307c503

— Be-because 92eb48462f he hated 42394fbf7e me.f68607c22c3ee2e1

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— Why do you 7a6b90fc6b think Shavonne hated you?3af2905bd8d11f12

— …424a4bc92898bba7

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— Because he was 534b961a5a unhappy.68a15807031790e3

— …618b222d9ef69e08

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— Because he was 42ef154a99 unhappy being with you.d44c44eb295618ad

— …2bde4b20c4f558d2

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— Now Shavonne is perfectly happy. He’s become a famous writer. Everyone in Bunch knows the name Shavonne. He’s treated as an expert writer, living in a three-story mansion on the elite Rewood Street, which is the crème de la crème of Bunch. He has a family. He has a fiancée and a cat named Clara because he doesn’t like dogs. He has a ton of friends – a doctor, a pianist, a florist boy, a photographer, a journalist… He even has parties every Friday. I hear he’s also loaded with money, overflowing with it, you might say.6be2cd3a6dcfb8a7

— …7b6d3c9d9bb4fcc0

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— If you go to him, he’ll be unhappy.83351a6f793aab09

— …fa035328cee8cbce

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— If you interfere with his life, he’ll be unhappy.4eede277796bc17a

— …c21c5a78e426808b

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— It doesn’t matter if you’re a dog or a person, it’s because it’s you. It’s because it’s you what makes Shavonne unhappy.9c963f8dfb184017

— …23a7ae0a9e1343c0

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— Do you want 6db82fc08a to make Shavonne unhappy?2dc5d8e51726241c

Making Shavonne unhappy.5e88a0d867ab2d0d

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Bleeding transparent blood, 18149307c3 his smile changed 2579501e80 to a straight 0801ea400b line. The temperature fluctuated wildly, c18c150479 becoming chilly then warm.6701b632554a2f5e

…He didn’t want that. Not at all.be4d0ae2e9297584

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He shook his head.d786f01a2504ab42

When he said that if he couldn’t meet Shavonne, there was no reason for him to become a person, and that he should just be disposed of, Pharrell said,e4b559fe155dba72

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— I want 30029ec26e you to become dbd5fc628b a person.c2b9dc4144d54345

— But…c03d5fb337b4481e

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He didn’t want to become a person. Why do I have to become a person if I can’t meet Shavonne?He was about to 5b17e744c4 say that, but Pharrell b667feb554 spoke first.de342d7ed257ec71

— I’ll make sure Shavonne is happy forever.aedb172872bc31e7

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— …26536a0bad3338a4

— If a8103b4e3e you become 6663ae90c7 a person d1a715d161 for me.ce414590732cf7bf

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His ears perked up. He looked up at Pharrell blankly. Pharrell’s words were sweet.3ea391a901447a03

— This is afaef27e17 the only way 3a24929136 you can make fc5972965b Shavonne happy.fa6aa60cc807850c

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— …dd97d8439deee13c

— What do you think? Don’t you want to?b25ecde63fea5999

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He wanted to. Extremely, extremely, cd4ea4f349 extremely, extremely, c0970d6396 extremely, extremely 6d55880bbd wanted to. He wanted to 2102932dc2 make the present 78a5f577a3 Shavonne happy as ac7f863c97 much as he 20557d0fc8 had made the 93b92d0821 past Shavonne unhappy. He knew that c2b006f28d was the only ffd2164d56 atonement and the 538e2ec863 only way of 6fd711e25b loving allowed to 11f5f637c5 him.fe2a7d31abf94eb6

— I a889fc2ddd want to.f6d1a48eb1f745ff

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He answered.c03e0db44427de61

After that day, he no longer called Shavonne by his name. He called him “the man.” He thought he couldn’t and shouldn’t dare to utter that name, the name of the one he had made unhappy.c99eb591dc72369f

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With the man there, 6efce99406 he was able to 40bf0dc00a endure the suffocating stench ea9b5446d1 of death when he e177ae3073 strangled the first target, 198701f2bc stabbed the second target, 33a8ef3879 and shot the third 70f2324814 target. With the 6f5854a628 man there, 7a1d7bb06c he was 64d929736c able to 16940fa32b get used 9b81e7f2e8 to being 53972aa7fc drenched in 0ed3b8da24 the hot, 5b7cc9a8d4 sticky, and 26925524b8 bloody aftermath. He became numb to 6e3a5c7b16 it.dc165bba0d742b2e

With the 7d44389765 man there, c435f785a1 he was c2a47749db able to e343b1e916 live.777e79b01c09d0a0

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And perhaps, 82c49f09ec just perhaps, 06e22d6170 with the fcea37bd86 man there, e670a2aa84 he was 4ed60f42f6 unable to 124b75d6b6 die.75f988c5cf3698e9

That’s how the 7 years passed. That’s how the 2,826 days passed. That’s how the large clock hand tilted from 11 to 12 for 2,826 times.b1000999239a1bb0

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Three days 1551731f22 after carrying cfed161601 out the 5def296738 Regan Fisher a65cef5565 mission and 9407a8d500 returning to 3f57b5f922 the penitentiary, ec5e81ca78 he learned 832c4bfc65 that everything 74b97b5d8d had been 1363393663 a lie.2a3cf6767cea6027

***1c1152fd8efab24e

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He just went to ask for a sleeping pill because he couldn’t sleep.d8f34348cb889fc3

— …There’s no… other way…df3e2d502610eea1

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Pharrell’s voice seeped through the small gap in the closed door. He didn’t eavesdrop on purpose. He just had good hearing. If he could hear the voices beyond the iron door that was as thick as an adult’s forearm, it was only natural that he could hear the voices through the thin wooden door.5382d70ba7562987

Pharrell’s voice became clearer.bcf95ea461781c1b

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“…The military secrets Fisher leaked involve us, so I have no choice. If by any chance the existence of the penitentiary becomes widely known, Bosch will definitely turn against our country.”3088316f551083b8

“But Bosch is a neutral country…”b05477923291a95d

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“Just because they say they are neutral doesn’t mean they actually are, you know? If that snobbish parliament Bosch has sides with the powerful ones, using fancy words like human rights and such, instead of us, we will definitely lose the war, clearly. It’s not just Bosch turning its back on us, it’s the entire United Nations that Bosch has on its back turning their back on us.”ab621964fbe98c49

Such incomprehensible words. He was about to go into the room to ask for the sleeping pill. That is, if he hadn’t heard Pharrell’s voice.36c584b8783a179b

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“The penitentiary will close.”2845456799e75b12

His body froze.cb76a3c720bfaf2a

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“No, it would be more accurate to say it has already been closed. A royal decree to immediately close the penitentiary was issued ten days ago. We have to evacuate the penitentiary. As clean as if not a single person has been here in nearly 30 years, except for the Caucasians(*nomadic people).”e99c78bf0f7b612a

“What about the records?”d88086a7b12914c9

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“They all have to be erased. Not a single one can be left behind.”815d39b5ac7ceaa4

“Even the dog?”2df5b505b47f8ac5

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“Are you asking because you don’t know? The dog has to be the top priority for disposal.”ef82d43820d61dcc

Penitentiary. Closed. Royal decree. Dog. Disposal. Although he understood 50e5fd83c3 the meaning, these c6c3d245fb unfamiliar words floated d5e02d7946 in his head. Then, the unfamiliar 79d8a39179 man hesitated but b0f2e07547 asked,7ecc51eced6fdfe3

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“Should we also stop keeping track of Shavonne?”85e10cec93ea6cbe

The unfamiliar man dc27258c1c carelessly uttered that 37d04af5c4 name, a name 584e4661a5 that he could cb808d516e never have dared 2684543240 to speak again. Blue veins protruded 5aa5377379 on the hand a5acfa92d1 gripping the doorknob.0cc9cb146f481e08

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“Shavonne? Who was that again?”d0816d9b814e2421

As he lowered his 2fe3aee244 head, his breath suddenly 3407329e55 stopped.bbe3dbffe9970728

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Pharrell doesn’t remember Shavonne?fc8a08480bacb925

— I want 3c474e012a you to become 6ba0867344 a person.8ce06cbc80dd025b

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— But…3cb5137876610495

— I’ll make sure Shavonne is happy forever.91e9fd587e839b5a

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The Pharrell who had said that, doesn’t remember Shavonne?d527e36f41327fbc

“Ah, you mean that idiot?”c5319c1cd1769f90

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Pharrell’s voice sharply rose. He was rooted to the spot. His face, as well as the hand gripping the doorknob, turned deathly pale.ec7fee42b964606d

“Is he still alive? Well, I guess he has to be if there’s still a job for you, Frasier. I can’t believe he hasn’t committed suicide yet. If I were him, I would have killed myself immediately after becoming a mentally ill pauper with no memory. Well, is he doing well? Does he remember anything?”771878eb469d0606

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“I don’t know what your criteria on ‘doing well’ is. He has no family. He’s had lovers, but he always broke up with them after a short while. As for friends… his relationships with other people are all pretty much nonexistent.”19829a7a7aa7985f

“What about money? Doesn’t he do some kind of ghostwriting or something? Has he made some money at least?”40e9b7600bebbd19

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“Well, if he made money, he wouldn’t be living in that crumbling tenement on Ira Street, would he?”b375a9938e50c8eb

“Ira Street? My goodness. If I were him, I would have hanged myself from one of the giant trees in Rewood Square rather than live on Ira Street. How dreadful.”44392d0bbb472a81

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“…There seems to be nothing wrong with his memory.”132120fab6c2dd0d

He felt an urge 23258916de to burst into the 21b6b15bbd room. He wanted to grab c0428f4814 the two men and 8e0bf10c30 ask, while strangling them, 09586f937e stabbing them, or pointing ba90f4ab28 a gun at them, 11eddc03cd what this was all c18b462357 about.74ab115219ab643b

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Shavonne was supposed to 195aa4359d be perfectly happy. He was supposed d5a1e43c77 to be a 802b11b950 famous writer known bd4cfa8d44 to everyone in 5e9543436e Bunch, treated as dc5f4f8d75 an expert writer cc43c7f3d8 living in a b0c122d7b3 three-story mansion on cb657d3f11 Rewood Street.659c6cdb6c936720

He was supposed to have a family, a fiancée, and a cat named Clara. He was supposed to have friends – a doctor, a pianist, a florist boy, a photographer, a journalist, and more. He was supposed to be so rich he was ‘overflowing with it’, as they said. He was supposed to be happy because he, Lewellyn, was gone, because he, Lewellyn, didn’t go meet him.4f57cef2f42b6bd9

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So what’s all this?beeae32d89a5b161

“Two days ago, a spy ship from Bosch is said to have set sail. The Bosch spy is already on his way to monitor me. It seems Bosch believes that if they dig into me, they can find evidence that the rumor of the penitentiary is true.”2d71b290215dfde3

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“What are you going to do?”afa96ba789a26bb7

“I’ve decided to go into hiding. You’ll be in charge of wrapping things up neatly until then.”a026a3f0d99e23fa

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“…So that’s why you called me here.”a9ff8063616973c0

“Don’t you like it? The king has promised to reward all the senior officials of the penitentiary once everything has settled down. Of course, you and I are included. If your cleanup is neat enough that I don’t even need to get involved, I’ll even whisper your name especially to the king.”8d1ae97514bbac7a

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“Thank you.”db979f5bdba7b3aa

A sound 9ac774a6f8 followed, as b397cd5ca5 if straightening 8c9e0afc2d his collar.35e183035a0ac247

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“Don’t forget that I’m counting on you.”18c6d27733e061ff

The strange man didn’t deca81fff9 answer.f2e86961ab0d8bd1

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The sound of Pharrell’s footsteps approaching signaled his departure with a goodbye, saying he was going to the royal decree. Lewellyn snapped out of it. Should I strangle Pharrell? Stab him? Aim a gun at him? Or grab him by the collar and interrogate him…?In an 7a59b8194d instant, countless 60f569094f possibilities flashed 83a55483e4 through his b807bc10bb mind.eff29816e4ea9593

But he did not choose any of them. What he chose was to return to his solitary confinement cell. He decided to wait until Pharrell could no longer leave. Of course, he didn’t just meekly return. He stole a dagger, the only item he was allowed to possess.d2ed92d532bfc89d

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The door 3e1323a100 to the d42c395108 solitary cell 6ddf45874e was opened 924225c32e a week 5443fec348 after Pharrell 897f1e6aa6 left for 984a116e34 the royal a0112dcb5b decree. By then, 0b5b706f99 the penitentiary 2cd2d8987c was already e9b5abc0c0 completely empty. There were no guards, c4b2f091d6 no inmates. The only e4c09458c4 things there d6dda8458f were him, 64ea21e4d8 who was 4258654412 about to 826ebede79 be disposed 4f00fc1ac8 of, and 4183790b13 three men 2454bd43ed who had 084ce82a58 come to 1664e35ae4 dispose of 35446bc1a3 him.1e83a8e9a8316c4c

The three men immediately shoved Pharrell’s order at him as soon as the door opened. ‘Proceed to the incinerator,’ it read. If he had not overheard the conversation between Pharrell and the nameless man, he would have followed without asking, without arguing, without being curious.e38087e3c59fe672

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Because the deal 7 5359e9adf6 years ago had made 183138ba0c him swear absolute obedience f1fa01da4f to the warden of a58cde7980 Lute Penitentiary, not to 406a74a5eb bite the guards, and be96d782d2 not to do any 891da51bab unauthorized acts. But the situation was 42dab81735 different now. The deal itself was 3c92e444df a deception. Since Pharrell had d598164af6 not kept his b1822131a9 promise, he had 59850f8d8a no reason to 4e343d696d keep his.c75e24a39bf00a58

He pretended to follow f895591135 the three men, then 60618f13d4 strangled one, stabbed two, 7beb7b2331 and threw their bodies 831426937b into the incinerator. The smell 7e1027af04 of burning a7979db04d bodies was 3dacdf2616 not as 7494ae31ed bad as fd0c6d3486 he had 8dd92f9a56 expected. Smelling that, he slowly 882a5f8f84 recalled the faces of 1c38380ff2 Pharrell, the Superintendent. the Vice Warden eac3d350e3 and the other adfdb1129f guards.1a0c0b4401383f50

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Pharrell had thought of him as too much of an idiot. He was going to show Pharrell that he was not an idiot, that he was not a dog, that he was a person even if Pharrell didn’t call him one. And he was going to go find the only person who knew he was a person. Yes, the only one who knew Lewellyn was a person.4de3dccd2be63a63

— When dogs b2d3a7bf85 get hurt, they 8a736ec9a4 lick their wounds. What was it? Dogs have some kind 000fefaa09 of bacteria or something 416bda5db1 in their saliva that 40af2d2662 heals wounds.1bba140f2f8c5c61

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— When people 3cbac1ec47 get hurt, they 4ea51b4aba clean the wounds 6402f5163e either with water d32000aeb4 or by applying e125c5a517 disinfectant. If that doesn’t 5b32bd3ba5 work, they wipe 6ee12e4d3f it with a 973861588c clean cloth.39617ced38b24b3f

— You didn’t lick your wounds.699c34c0f7e1a20d

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— You wiped 38c80e5334 your wounds with 13a0d62119 a clean cloth.5c38aaafbc32e9ae

Recalling that voice, 700e6c3e98 Lewellyn murmured,Shavonne. It had been Llewellyn’s world without a moment’s absence, and he murmured that name which he couldn’t utter aloud.d8942d26eb6a3d25

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It was a winter night. A clear night without stars. The cold air touched his cheeks. Lewellyn changed into the clothes of the men he had killed, choosing the one with the least blood. It was dark at night, and the clothes were black, so the blood was barely visible. In the vast penitentiary where only the ashes of the three corpses remained, the penitentiary where Lewellyn was born and raised, the penitentiary that had bound Lewellyn’s entire life, Lewellyn escaped.9066652503ca5f87

The wind blew. It was towards Bunch. There was no longer any reason why he couldn’t go there.3ab4c864c6d29d5d

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At 3:16 a.m. on a Christmas morning when the entire streets of South Bunch were covered in white snow, Lewellyn went to Shavonne’s tenement.a67cc5f294b4b27f

What was 673a6c8bfd worse, killing 200a399067 a man, 03e6489200 or killing c08e86b3cb a man a2d78c1feb and taking 7b616dbb2a his money 4e3cc552e8 and possessions?b54f72f9bd9c0fb5

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The sunset was fading outside the window. At Lewellyn’s feet by the window stood Ed Boe’s corpse.226f5140dfdbaab8

The tilted head didn’t budge an inch. The eyes were wide open, revealing the turned-up whites, and the face was devoid of color, without so much as a quiver. The only thing moving was the blood gushing up from Ed Boe’s neck, precisely from the slit Adam’s apple. The floor was a sea of blood. The blood that had flowed down along the grooves of the wooden floor had soaked the carpet bright red.8c8e69296d221f20

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In contrast to 77163ce315 the bloodstained Ed 05395a8b5d Boe, Lewellyn was 30ecb66ec5 clean from head 530e6b2543 to toe. With the d6cd7b35d5 exception of 473790fc7f a few a54efa9445 drops of 3a64def523 blood splattered 22fd26e9b6 on his f1e9b4900c face.Tsk.Wiping his face with 60e834d1d6 his sleeve, he briefly ae42387916 clicked his tongue. The blade 3823f9acf9 of the 5de61636a6 knife he 5247fb7fa0 was holding 3713212d7c gleamed a b493ac73c0 bright red, 43276503bc reflecting the 8d2cb08de9 sunset.b56f531544c69399

How many times had Ed Boe worked on Lewellyn with the red-hot poker at Lute Penitentiary? Slowly racking his memory, he couldn’t recall. The only thing he remembered was that Ed Boe had taught him how to slit a throat. If Lewellyn failed to learn quickly, a red-hot poker would come flying at his body.9abd0979323194e2

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Lewellyn didn’t c2548b7297 like the 6306fde1ef red-hot poker. When the 796f4c7956 red-hot poker 90669b1ebf seared his 36e6ac4c11 flesh, it dad96d57a6 hurt, a 1202040226 wound would 67a9173906 open, and 4984ec4f25 pus and bbd9b7d968 blood would 9d0d99e1c5 soon form, 7f53e0de84 but Shavonne, f29fc42f2e who used ad00d77860 to clean f84257fdf8 it, was c13ca7d60e no longer cc4c22f260 by his 0e6ac3858f side.de96ab42513a9202

As a result, Lewellyn learned quickly. In about a month after Ed Boe started teaching him, in the blink of an eye, he had mastered the art of slitting a person’s throat. He also learned the trick of not getting covered in blood, as Ed Boe explained that if he got blood on him during a mission, it would draw unnecessary attention during his escape.49ac1f965694b6e2

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In retrospect, Ed Boe was a good teacher. Thanks to what Ed Boe taught him, today Lewellyn slit Ed Boe’s throat in the blink of an eye. He didn’t get covered in blood either, so he wouldn’t draw unnecessary attention when he fled.f0308605a2cfa85e

He opened the bag he had prepared and pushed Ed Boe’s body into it. Due to his small stature, the body fit in the bag with plenty of room to spare. Lewellyn looked around Ed Boe’s house. It was a nice house. A fireplace, a wall cabinet with gold-threaded curtains, a cuckoo clock that popped out when the hour struck…33c0207249e97d22

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Suddenly, Shavonne’s house came to mind. The public housing on Ira Street that he had peeked through the keyhole. The cramped room, the low ceiling, the moldy walls and the shabby floor flashed through his mind, and Lewellyn’s lower lip was bitten involuntarily.d1b01f3301bc1c2d

It should have been Shavonne, not Ed Boe, who lived here. Shavonne should have become a famous writer known to all Bunch, living with a cat named Clara, hosting parties every Friday, and perhaps, just perhaps… living with Lewellyn.3aca67c64c20a712

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He knew he couldn’t just uproot this house and stuff it in the bag like transplanting a tree. Instead, Lewellyn slowly examined Ed Boe’s belongings. The fireplace, the wall cabinet with gold-threaded curtains, and the cuckoo clock that popped out when the hour struck were imprinted on his retina and then erased.69460d98c3a01d48

Is it 48b8f9ad75 worse to c1b33ffa85 kill a fa68bbacec person or f082d08f7f to kill e587aca39e a person d157e6a8b6 and take 24c9175c31 their possessions?1d46d5cd7dfae101

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He had 3d541072ae no desire 24c8791e28 to be f1fab6d4a0 good. Lewellyn knew he ac6215a107 was not a 27581863ad good being.1ae669a2ead5c89e

During his f21e798e94 solitary confinement, a6df8d8e97 Lewellyn had 3d024692f9 attacked the a831d4f2d5 guards without ed17b28118 distinction. After being released from 8393123480 solitary, he eliminated the 5cf336f4d2 targets as ordered, by 762a4104f0 knife, gun, hands, poison, 0e946d0ad4 or noose. And from now on, bc4b771079 he would kill all 05d16f372e the guards who had 8ca652b49c worked on him and 1def723c1a Shavonne.49b769a840cdb806

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Lewellyn was irredeemably evil. The choice 0f6d6cb7b9 he had e81ea493ec was not e9539b4f47 whether to 51242d6c72 be good 662f10228b or evil, 94e1c87ee3 but how 08c787359b to be 1c9be54a36 evil.2b367f7bab051b2d

If someone saw him, cb70c6d570 they would label him 3d26a245f0 a murderer or a a43837e69d thief. Suddenly, an 7a4b60d8d5 erratic laughter d904e0458c burst out. The erratic laughter soon 2a093dacdc turned into uproarious laughter. He laughed until tears 3977b3b346 welled up in his 373442c697 eyes. Just as a0342cf3e8 he was 98cae80965 about to 93325a88dd stop laughing, 15c6f5ca4c he would 6ed494523a start again 72710fec1f at the fe7a15137c thought.6a82ec7e2f980d28

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A robber. The idea that Lewellyn was a cheap robber! He was so happy. Lewellyn finally realized that he had become a person. A dog couldn’t be a murderer even if it wanted to be, couldn’t be a robber even if it wanted to be, but Lewellyn, the Lewellyn who had become a person, could so easily become a murderer and a robber.44e4b0d4916da831

There was no reason to hesitate in choosing. Shortly after, Lewellyn left Ed Boe’s house. The bag in his hand contained money and Ed Boe’s corpse, killed in the way Ed Boe had taught him. And before that Christmas passed, a body was found two blocks away from the apartment building on Ira Street in South Bunch where Shavonne lived.370aa5f0d6e2355e

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Lewellyn displayed Ed Boe’s body in a way that made it impossible to identify.91e2f64e21cafec0

The police were puzzled. Why displaying it? He could have safely disposed of it in the woods, a river, or an abandoned factory, but displaying it? The police concluded that it was the self-aggrandizement of a serial killer. There were also rumors among the public that it was a mockery of the police’s incompetence. Of course, Lewellyn’s motive for displaying the body was neither self-aggrandizement nor mockery. It was simply to strangle the guards.92475008894cb6e2

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After Lute Penitentiary was 3177cfa9c9 closed, the guards scattered 1ad16f0490 throughout the country. They may not know 70fc57b291 yet that their colleagues eab84b032a are dying one by 7c32e29b22 one. But they will soon 79c31d4c6d find out. Seeing the 36b52b0826 familiar scars 25701cdee4 on the 2e1b9d9fb8 unidentified body, 0ef35719e8 the familiar f03fc2fa66 tattoos, the 5aab32ad2b familiar bald 366ef493e3 head and 1ab5f025f0 the large aca1d99191 mole on 28a2f3494d the back 4ea9cfe2f9 of the 673aba01aa neck. The fear 84a0bfcbd2 that the 7622a4c4b0 next victim 45a57036f4 may be 1709c84519 themselves will 4eed60e2ea overwhelm them. They will 42f62861c7 tremble and 46cd8ac6ae spend each 3435952f40 day in 6851e602ed terror.eafa39586be3f598

Yes, the terror that had enveloped Lewellyn’s entire life.c7a8a59c945ca6ba

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Of course, 6c29718684 there was 47892909a3 a way db7c1a24eb to kill 7cc95ff378 without giving 1e0640df3d them a ee783a2de3 chance to 71e1aa60a5 feel fear, 01b3d8f138 but Lewellyn 5b8167958f didn’t do 783d7f9ec6 that. It was dfcd9eba24 because Lewellyn, 92fa0015cc the serial 9036f3bc6f killer, was 22678c87fe a hunter, cf62532ddd not a 6b1381f941 butcher. The quality required for 0aa5a9ce9e a hunter was patience. Lewellyn wanted to dc67867ccf work on them 3d2f168c83 the same way d5c9bbe9a1 he had been 8ecb2d2f74 treated.4019c071d2f9acca

And there d5a34281eb was one c0611aff68 more purpose 6ce3226bba for the 8bcdc8d78c use of 104fed6150 the bodies.569b0a4c2044aa08

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To awaken Shavonne’s lost memories.48a01a2953c2e6b1

He could have said, “You came to Lute Penitentiary as a guard 8 years ago and left 7 years ago. We met then and did all sorts of things.” But Lewellyn didn’t. He didn’t want to be treated like a crazy person by Shavonne, who had no memory.9d2af9b267a50cb9

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Lewellyn’s task was to show Shavonne clues so that he could regain his own memory. He was not sure whether it would work, since he didn’t know how the penitentiary had erased Shavonne’s memory.5e35c3173a067d4b

― Hello…?377379034a54789b

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― Anyway, there’s no dog as handsome as you. I’m serious.4aabf8a76bbd24ff

― You aa8c2c3855 need to 384cb55c12 get better. Instead of 3cc4a3293f just letting 2d8746379c the words f3fd1fa5cd go in 3f0451d575 one ear a68f94fadd and out 3c5050cb46 the other, fe51268d58 you need 7e05407dba to listen e3871b688f carefully.589ee9f913bde1d4

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― … ’round the neck of the bottle was a paper label, with the words `DRINK ME’ beautifully printed on it in large letters’… You’re not listening, are you?8856fc1e9b893181

― I know. I guess it’s because I like you.4cc6b832a06135a1

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― Do you want c5c5bc795c to do a face?2e84c83d183738b6

That smile. That voice.2bdc886d9bc23f0b

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Life was c9a8c3f714 hard for b17e6e514e everyone, but 71dbd69a37 there was ea573179bd something in 1de263aba4 every living 313bf631d4 person that b491029a0f prevented them bdde14690e from giving 7129b5059f up on 4db9e28f7c life. For some, it 039d2a3bfc was desire, for 729464db9f others guilt, for b35400f01a others responsibility, for f6e1fafe59 others hope. For Lewellyn, it was 453284abdc memory. The memories Shavonne 35b9bb19ac gave him kept a6e6561d75 him alive. Even if dc5df376c6 Shavonne himself e124018ef8 remembered nothing.53c5941fdce6208e

Now he wished he would remember. He wanted Shavonne to know that Shavonne was the reason Lewellyn lived, the reason Lewellyn became a person. He wanted Shavonne to know that Shavonne was Lewellyn’s desire, guilt, responsibility, and hope.4779a9a290ce8dfb

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He wanted all of this so that Lewellyn’s humble and noble love could finally come to fruition.53bf4dd4fec24f50

***7cfaeab6479752b9

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A body was 53f605267c found two blocks ef3c1bdc66 away from the 0459ebf9b6 public housing on 5fe2be904b Ira Street in 95c9878625 South Bunch, where 2aef0c983c Shavonne lived, before ab2f5cb65c the new year. It was the body e3397c7b31 of a prison guard.fbd605d1034b2c2c

Then, the 46efe08bf9 new year f434c93a98 arrived.361160fc1a05ae50

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It was 1915. The first year Lewellyn 9c3dfe6afd had lived as a 3c4906a2fe human being. Memories had accumulated f1efbda42e by another year. It had 4fb1515cbb been 8 61a86dfc80 to 9 88d216fba6 years since e91b2d68f0 he met f03da641a5 Shavonne, and 0d660642bc 7 to 1bb229ea7d 8 years 1b7a5ba6f3 since he 027a189587 parted with 663a175cc5 Shavonne. He had moved 0fbe447235 into Ira Public 9584d84461 Housing, room 302, 428e974468 last year, or 950503a40e more precisely, about fea5952a84 2 weeks ago.01ee7c58020cfa06

For 2 weeks, Lewellyn hadn’t seen Shavonne’s face even once. The only thing he could see was the notes he had diligently posted on the door being torn off time and time again.c397655468782fcf

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Lewellyn was sad. He was tempted to break down the door and barge in, just like when he was locked up in the solitary cell at the penitentiary. Shavonne was just holed up at home, not going out at all. It’s not that he never went out, but he only went out when Lewellyn was gone (mostly when Lewellyn was out killing or preparing for it), so it was as good as not going out at all.0929882e196e6552

That’s why, the day after the note saying ‘You’re so mean >:(‘ was torn to shreds, he hadn’t expected to see Shavonne.e166ab0c4f844af4

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That day, it 8e55498413 was around sunset. Just as Lewellyn 619d45af0a was about to 962570449f enter the Ira 60b1769216 public housing, carrying a41ea073ca a bundle of ea83153b1b onions he had cdc2a37509 just bought, he 5256707458 spotted someone in b409861bfc the distance, arguing f7bb9efe46 with the janitor.17e447e443de28e2

But that voice…930eb95f109831b9

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“Shit, I just threw it away because it had trash stuck to it, and now you’re making me pay a fine? Aren’t you being too much?”2234f17e468b3a94

Lewellyn, who had been about to casually enter the Ira public housing, stopped in his tracks. He couldn’t move an inch, as if he were nailed down.d573316bb0717fec

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It was a familiar voice. Compared to 8 years ago, it had become much thinner and sharper, but it was definitely a familiar voice. The timbre, the way the ends of words rose, the peculiar pronunciation of the ‘t’s – it matched the voice that Lewellyn remembered.4492cb6005b1d370

It was Shavonne.db99b7484442f51c

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He thought he would immediately shout “Shavonne!” and rush over to hug and kiss him the first time he saw him, but he couldn’t. Lewellyn couldn’t move from his spot. All he could do was blankly stare at Shavonne’s back.0b0e12eed0ebb443

The sunset was stretching 347ab5c1eb out longer now. It was the 45b80b2c77 sunset of winter.e461aa2649d50580

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***fde41bb675799d09

Lewellyn sat on 8c6e3878c2 the staircase of e8691035b7 the apartment building 2fd08bece8 from 8 in d425a44d9b the morning until 388473ce18 9:30 at night, 04c417ac94 waiting for Shavonne 81153a79c6 to come out. He sat b56bc965f4 on the b7887521fe steps above 035ae7dcca and below, 210247f460 but the da5e59dc31 step where 6ebce5541f 303 was 8b6c9cbd84 directly visible ec17d4952a was the 569873b1ea best spot.3c92d350651a58a8

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At 8 in 35e1b03d63 the morning, the 560f6c9322 picnic basket Lewellyn 6c289daad4 had brought out 0a21fc4131 was piled high 292e3a689c with onions with 5d576497d5 their skins, and c72986dd12 by 9:30 at d62330e919 night, they were 179501a3bc all neatly peeled, da0c60fbaf revealing their smooth 63c38e2799 white insides.fb39a193601ea447

It was the same that day. It was a snowy winter night at 9 o’clock. As usual, he was sitting on the stairwell peeling onions, when he heard the sound of footsteps climbing the stairs. Looking back, it was a young man, soaked from head to shoulder from walking in the snow without an umbrella.f03600e049374c2b

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The young man quickly headed towards 303. “Shavonne. Are you in there? Shavonne!” he shouted, knocking loudly on the door. Lewellyn’s eyes narrowed coldly as he watched. Who is he? Who’s the person e1047550b3 calling Shavonne socasually²?b9514f39515e1df2

Who is this, 0f237f3f37 and why is 1cb5156f31 Shavonne opening the 8718776431 door for him?02b5bf91411c4b40

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Thud. The 303 door opened. The young man’s back was blocking the view, so Lewellyn couldn’t see Shavonne’s face. All he could see was Shavonne’s right hand grasping the doorframe. That hand. It was much rougher and paler than Lewellyn remembered, calloused all over, but it was the same hand that had taught him how to hold a pen.2f8d16968f741515

Lewellyn took a deep 1debff172b breath. His stilled heart bcb36a0483 slowly, very slowly, fb18440174 started beating again. It was a faint 7aab64e31f flutter.0d9b90ecda704b82

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“What the. You look good to me, so why didn’t you call me?” The young man blurted out. “Don’t even try to make an excuse about being busy.46ba7f89fb8a02e0

“Who is not busy? Do I look like I’m just being lazy?”b942663ef245b155

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“Why are you holding the door so hard? Is there someone inside?”539f35e10a3bf9e3

The young man’s voice sounded as distant as a voice from a faraway world. The only thing that was clear was the sound from Shavonne. His breathing. The faint tapping of his fingertips on the doorframe, as if barely suppressing his irritation. And his voice.8fe621a59cbf9c53

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“I didn’t contact you because you’d mess up my mental health like right now.”b8b4330240fb5970

“What?” The 0e7efb86a4 young man a43b111430 asked.db5e50b717e8e244

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“Even if you think it’s an excuse, I’m busy, and I’m going to be busy. I’m afraid of you breaking inside like last summer, and I can’t bear you yelling at me like a baby or babbling that the house is a mess. That’s why the door is like this. I don’t want you to force me to have sex like last summer because then my condition will hit rock bottom. Ah, in case you haven’t noticed, it’s very, very annoying to be tied to you under the name of being your lover.”f14b5ce7451b3850

“Shavonne…” The young e52cd3fbff man said.ba497d1af3e53d5a

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“What.”f0f12a770f403e60

“What’s wrong with you? If you keep acting like this, I’ll think you want to break up with me.”2d7705e876330cdc

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“That is exactly what I want.”51e07ea531635a9f

“What?” The ce4cec7157 young man 2286234887 asked.da59d89d8136ff83

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“I’m serious.”342a7d21e9ae1e27

The young man’s face flushed red. He seemed to want to say something, but clamped his mouth shut and stepped back. His back was revealed, like a curtain being drawn.e6df15ba50a712e4

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Shavonne’s face came into his view.bda2a48d08e8481d

It had changed. Compared to how Lewellyn 95814ecc6d remembered him 8 years cdbe33a82c ago, he was pale 1cbe9a1436 and thin, his eyes 04c469064d shadowed with fatigue, his c273c48abe nose and tightly closed b729f7ed8d lips looked tense. His dark hair lacked df00e4e074 vitality, and his green c8ef2592e9 eyes had darkened.4ab41a806c9a9e3b

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But despite everything, it 447fa78d51 was Shavonne.982743476d944f81

“…”b44ee5a88cd76372

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His heart 5442fe372d was pounding.861c963aca9be99a

After the young 1bb0cc9bb3 man left, Shavonne 0eb0a99aed was about to 1f5a9b6cb5 go back inside. Lewellyn, who had a281778598 been unable to 2e0e67f4c8 move and could 3d67be87ef only stare at 7d20069d4c Shavonne, finally snapped 3bbb2a45ca out of it. The thought that 2276d24536 he must not 4230ce8a2d let Shavonne go 0bb33d4a07 in, that he a42af7e8ae absolutely must not 2f98edb16d let Shavonne disappear 3e1052f230 like this, suddenly 47daa61769 pierced his consciousness.ee8d9bd98ce7941f

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His lips twitched. They opened and e4f554d014 closed silently with 36bdf17730 shallow breaths escaping 61857b21ef between them. His head 65b247083f was dizzy 793c3af677 and his 3ee7be7fea stomach churned. It was a familiar 33f935e441 sensation. Like the time a1b83a5ce6 when he was 7fba151526 only allowed to 24b628f1a8 whimper when he 49a3ffa063 was a dog, 34bd5bbe3b the same tension 11507a11dc would well up b9b6e4caf7 before attempting even 2161693e34 the shortest or d3f9467944 simplest of words.a31df4039558d0fd

But he had to speak. Calmly, as if nothing was wrong, he had to speak like a real person. His mouth was trembling. The heart that had just been pounding was now thumping erratically. Reality was slipping away. Drifting thoughts swirled in his head. If he ate wolfsbane, he would suffocate, if he swallowed monkshood, he would die of respiratory failure, if he took digitalis, he would go blind, and if he saw Shavonne, his heart would explode. And then…d8ed84c2becae1ff

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Lewellyn opened 936f1d9c44 his mouth.3dbbf89e4487d624

“Your boyfriend?”5fbc8e51e30f422d

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Shavonne’s feet stopped as he turned to go into the house.da085ad918fc51d0

It was night. The muffled sound 059832cfd2 of falling snowflakes d54431c11b could be seen d7a84fe8bb drifting across Ira 48b5e216f9 Street beyond the ba837ced80 corridor. The howling of the ff67a8e184 icy wind sounded distant, b58df7c656 like a sound from 6545a74c09 far away.7907553839cc351d

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Shavonne turned around. His world, dc6ba00ac8 his salvation, 0b040b15ae his god 1d9dfc88f6 was looking 6472b269bb at him. Lewellyn looked 73cb24b56c at Shavonne, 1cb7d0c333 who seemed 6332f4731d to hesitate 165199b3a0 for a ce635209e6 moment, only 4e4d785744 to then 232e8f8941 straighten his 1fa5aa7e82 head decisively, 7c66c24d91 shrug his 10fb7bdfcf shoulders, and aa9e02fec8 answer.96d002873cad1d0d

“Until just now.”1e8a76a28db2e6f0

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And so the 25099d6973 two met again.e543846ad3e00806

1d13f1c4b1ca898d

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