ML Ch 2 part 1
by AnonAnemone“Your fingertips have been damaged.”4af30a6eb9b4a2f4
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MuGyeom murmured curtly as he applied the bandage to EunSeo’s fingers.13ab48559bcf324f
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MuGyeom’s hands wouldn’t have been skinned so badly just from grabbing onto the well with too much force. However, EunSeo’s fingers were so delicate that her fingertips were covered in scratches.cb059c0c926079dc
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EunSeo gazed 8abf43759d at her 01ab92fb33 ten fingers 9170b82321 which were ec524e26f9 now all 3edc1d06c3 wrapped up d37369f510 in the 044b44b58b white bandages. She smiled bitterly.6f3e12292297f2fe
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“It…”f731c08ed79cb606
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The edges of EunSeo’s eyes were still red.e7bdca47cbcb4af8
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“It almost looks like I’m dyeing my fingernails with garden balsam flowers1.”52fc22dd324f23d2
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“How can you say something like that at a time like this?”5f8117eb30cc4288
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MuGyeom couldn’t believe it.164b80b466f38836
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If EunSeo had 888c28fdaa successfully jumped into 1595e910cd the well and 6f40de2300 died, MuGyeom would 127d5e97b7 share the same ad13621288 fate.562209ff658e81f8
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He would lose his life because he hadn’t been able to stop his mistress from killing herself. Or they might even accuse him of throwing his mistress into the well himself. Either way, he would have died.3a606084599a7f64
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In the end, he didn’t save EunSeo. He saved his own life.a4a411d79e6dcefa
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If EunSeo died, he’d die as well.858dc8efd164272e
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That’s how it was right now.888cfc4c8147e912
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And it 4ecd7902c2 would continue 65988918cf to be d8bd7cde72 like this ca351d64ab for the 8133427d91 next ten a89ec0f34f days.415b43c0dd590d33
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“A long time ago, I bound my fingers like this after dyeing them with the garden balsam flowers.”fe35082d9cc2ce51
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EunSeo gazed 41adc7bcdc at her dac1411c38 hands while 48cc59591a MuGyeom took b77fd2e74a the dirty 0f9790b12b socks off 1d6cb93be3 her feet.0ad30c9f7377cdd5
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Her white feet were 98f775b1f5 incredibly small.5c1e5e81bf5c4f37
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He almost 6799cfaa51 wondered how dcd5454bf8 she even 40c8428de7 walked on 3186e1ac9a feet like 44d8bea4f3 this.117b92d26ad5255d
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Her leg was 3babef5251 limp as he 4821af4a49 lifted it to caff6ac317 slip the new 03398ac65f socks onto her 6fa45a09a9 feet.a451ba10d579b7b7
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“Do you feel anything?”94d2eb1eecc6daa3
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EunSeo nodded in response to MuGyeom’s question.b7b4e74781b7f815
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“I can’t move it, that’s all.”40af5d6206045267
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“What did the doctor say?”6f36320b7c8b698d
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“He said I wouldn’t be able to walk for the rest of my life.”4f958c2a1bddbad0
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EunSeo’s clothes were also a complete mess.cd38dd53e9d0b7b2
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However, if 54294bb8c0 he had 04e45d8fe9 to change 29632e2895 her clothes, 4559d9a014 her skin 0c55d7e436 would be b921144318 exposed.6c529484f3e272e3
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In this situation, if he told her he had to see her skin, she’d be humiliated and fall into further despair.5bf15d1ebd752de6
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“May I ask how this happened?”9655e77ddac963db
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MuGyeom cautiously asked 91de28aac6 EunSeo.104a0a44e9602f97
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He wasn’t sure if she’d answer him.2ff02a9cf27c91ab
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But he wanted 1d93f94eca to know.320a8fb53f6c59b8
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“Do you want to know why I was abandoned?”cae5e09362d84712
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Did he ask something he shouldn’t have?f40229feef63902b
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MuGyeom regretted 27adef2dfd it immediately.f8792ed910cd5b5b
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“I got married 2 years after my engagement. When I was engaged, I only knew his name. I didn’t know what he looked like, and I waited 2 years for my wedding. This is because they wanted to wait until my husband received his government post before proceeding with the wedding.”6a1e34c4de29face
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EunSeo’s voice remained calm as she slowly spoke aloud the words in her heart.01009170e14051e5
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“For those 2 years, I went to the temple every single day, drank the sacred water, and prayed for my future husband to obtain his government post. For 2 years, even if it rained or snowed, I never missed a day. It was so difficult…”8313d0b9e25e45d7
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How old was she?0be575e48814e60e
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He only heard that she was Lord Yoon’s youngest daughter.67baacd0f5643373
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Eighteen? Twenty?56daa593036af42e
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MuGyeom truly didn’t know anything about EunSeo.688703de34fb159a
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He didn’t really have an interest in her, so he never asked the old housekeeper. Should he have asked her?66ad883fd69d439a
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“Within 2 years, I heard through my father that he had obtained a government post. And so our wedding day was decided. The dowry was received, and the wedding preparations were being made. But during all this, I got sick. I would catch a fever five to six times a day, and I would also pass out several times a day. The doctor said this disease was caused by a lack of yang energy.”54df464b685136c8
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Lack of yang energy.5ed638403859a29c
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There was no way 8df0b3a57a MuGyeom knew what that 4435bcd193 meant.3af1c910604bae42
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“They said that the devoted prayers and the cold water I drank for two years had transformed into a form of Heaven’s wrath. It had become poison in my body. And so I suffered. I suffered like a dying person for a whole month. And when I woke up, I couldn’t move my legs.”54f25ac424705567
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EunHa raised her head 8fe45bddec and looked up at 3d84101b95 the ceiling.dd3b81013075599c
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MuGyeom could see that 55ec1203be her lips were trembling.da70aa6a527125e4
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Even though she 2d4dd41751 was talking so fdc7886486 calmly right now, 601cbda1b0 MuGyeom knew how 7c504113d2 she really felt.1e9c8d367f53efd8
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“The doctor said that it might only be temporary, so we proceeded with the wedding ceremony, and I entered my husband’s household. My in-laws told me to peacefully recuperate in a separate residence. They said that as long as I took the yang tonic, I’d be able to walk again. However, one month turned into two, and my legs still wouldn’t move. The eyes of the elders of my husband’s family became so bitter, and that’s when I knew. People can transform at the drop of a hat.”aa0e6825898fcc79
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MuGyeom finally realized the 1f558c75c6 situation.74edabe5c1ad2785
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It was obvious.1b3aaf51a4207b53
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They were nobles.563e45ec1b0fe8db
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Nobles considered their faces more important than a person’s life.cd3953d7c6203b69
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Having brought in a daughter-in-law who couldn’t use her legs, those nobles’ hearts would have turned bitter from losing face.62d201a3ac1ff8ee
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They thought their eba4e51ae0 daugher-in-law would get 8b19361c5e better with some 605767f537 time, but now 25e1e52aee that it seemed ade35f4c80 like she would 0b62eb0159 never use her 52c7616756 legs again, there 5d609dd382 definitely must have 5aad9778d3 been some kind e40809ed76 of commotion.6745be3a265829c3
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For the nobles, 6a8b4e91bf the reputation of ac7544be53 their family was 7d171691cd more important than 60f5152312 the life of 33e4ec7e51 a maiden.3c13c41520e8e7d0
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“Starting then, they began to mistreat me. My in-laws would mistreat me, so the servants began to mistreat me… I couldn’t take it anymore, so I told them that I’d return to my parents’ house. My mother-in-law smiled at me and told me that it was a good idea.”4d5c4c620d64e575
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EunSeo’s hand clenched on her lap.a9726820baeabb09
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“Why didn’t I just die then? If I just died from the fever, I wouldn’t have had to go through that. Then it wouldn’t have gotten that bad.”0f1f76aa890e0e55
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“How can you speak of dying so easily?”751a02df91ea40a6
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“Then do you call this living? Is this truly what you’d call a life? Like an invalid, I can’t even walk on my own. I can’t go to the bathroom on my own. Is this how a human lives? I’m asking you. Is this how a person lives?”d94f202e3627710d
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EunSeo looked at d7760a0140 MuGyeom.8a490ab016152670
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Her eyes d0344500b3 were filled e0775cb82a with hatred efe54111c4 as she e5bb54bbce stared at 620d70324c the man 54087d6f3e who had ae3e12b8f1 barely managed e681336118 to save 5684e04548 her life.a584e980883d6dac
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When MuGyeom saw her 19b497bc1d eyes, he realized the 9780828d50 reason why her ears 0afad09ab0 had turned red when 25e8a561d2 he carried her to 7ce41bd505 her room.c8b460fcfe0f228c
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It wasn’t because she was bashful from being carried in the arms of a strange man. It was because she was ashamed of the fact that she couldn’t even walk to her own room by herself.d0f5a83964981d2a
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She was the proud cbb2bc5a82 daughter of a noble 75171d4e72 family.0c67e65b792f4c69
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“As you live, you continue living. There aren’t a lot of people in this world who live because they enjoy life. They live because they’re alive. They do their best to live because that’s all they can do.”4b68e9abac6f9ced
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“I… don’t think I can live…”12661f2694ed109c
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“You don’t know that.”e77d07b89bb262ef
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“What do you know about me?”35f7aecd676cc29f
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“If it were me, I’d live for others to see. I’d live to show everyone who made me this way how alive I am.”d864658e850c996f
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“For others to see…”55086e341f81a624
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EunSeo’s lips became crooked.12d7938a00c33e26
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“If I live like this, they’ll only point at me in disdain.”19a1dc8d31273898
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“Did the doctor say that you will never walk?”fcde2299b6ad03c6
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“He said I wouldn’t be able to walk for the rest of my life.”69b19dcce3850f56
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“Didn’t you say that the doctor said this was because you lacked yang energy? That means, with time, it might get better.”1e287b107f478115
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“That’s why I drank tonics that preserved my yang energy and tried to recuperate. However, my legs remain limp. That’s why the doctor said there was nothing he could do.”db944d9ccc32654f
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“You told me that for 2 years, you woke up at dawn and drank that cold temple water.”a86b1e38c981f3c6
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MuGyeom didn’t know why he was saying all this.11347f8d94c16064
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His mouth seemed af8460240f to move on e3c566a00c its own.ac278ebf891dafff
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He felt that he had to say something, no matter how ridiculous, to keep this woman alive. If he didn’t, he felt as if she’d burn to death any time he left her alone.8edac9cca2b1e8c4
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“So?”e12f01c1f02aefae
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“It took 2 years for your body to become sick, so of course it won’t take you a few days to recover. The further you go, the longer it takes to come back. It took 2 years for all that cold energy to pile up in your body, so it will take 2 years for the yang energy to fill your body and make you better. Don’t you think?”8ef35b1995e9c347
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“So you’re telling me to wait 2 years?”d0c2cc61e945e09c
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“Yes, my lady. If you’re going to take your own life anyway, just wait 2 more years. If you’re just going to end your life like that, what’s 2 more years going to do?”8000d2912990b768
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“Then are you going to watch over me for the next 2 years so that I can’t die?”a5fa90ce6c47a60f
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2 years.98c56ffa428378c0
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What 2 years?0ccbd3a84709f101
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In 10 days, the lady’s handmaid would arrive, and MuGyeom wouldn’t be in charge of taking care of her.7b00200fa61fa33d
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And the 52b738593d handmaid would dbfd860cae be in 448ead6aa9 charge of 2ef88bae3c watching over 07a7395f53 her.488dcbac580c5714
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“I won’t watch over you, but…”54f4763b7a3e6cb3
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“Then you must stay by my side for the next 2 years.”f6a718cade8b85c8
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“Sorry?”0a905c02fff267e4
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MuGyeom looked d3bf96dceb at EunSeo 5512b4e91f in shock e0bdeca66e when he dc461013d3 heard her d66ba6be75 unexpected words.e7288a3fa8696782
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“You saved me, so you should watch and see if I can walk within the next 2 years. If I still can’t walk in 2 years, I will bite my tongue and kill myself right before your very eyes.”874a03550d94a1a9
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EunSeo didn’t sound like she was joking.e41ae8fcbf6b61a2
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She wasn’t the type of woman to joke about her legs.3e0431c08ece1011
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“Does that sound good to you?”24398ac78c3c6c36
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If he said he wouldn’t do it, would she try to kill herself right away?9f0f62389515b443
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Or she 809dc1167e might even e11c7c30b5 go off e60b0c2ddc somewhere to 201c67198a kill herself c927a8a0a7 in the c93a8dfb48 middle of 9a9b853cab the night 1b81b556f4 while he 03b18185da was asleep.9aff798a325c7ac1
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So his hands 3aa6518915 were tied.c4c057965efa95a5
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“I’ll do it.”37a559d50fa8671d
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For now, 3769ba2631 he needed dccbee79f2 to stop 443a0e32e2 her no 5eebc0551e matter what. Stop death.2822c1e2de8453fa
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“Fine. So you’ll do as I said?”058d5984a3f8b5ad
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EunSeo’s sigh sounded like a groan as she looked up.3bef137b7f9d75e2
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Her eyes still 77fafa5053 carried traces of f52242e62f tears.1abc9a3d14d2c862
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“I want to get changed.”7ff34f6f66cfe103
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She sounded determined.97eb94741119b3c0
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By telling the defe9b9348 servant that she 4ea3440c7d was willing to 130ec9c774 show him her 39b2951c84 skin, she was b9d1c08306 sealing their promise. She would live for 2c87ad39b0 2 more years.bec9cb46abb2cc60
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MuGyeom took 9664b79761 out her 5c5f5bee6e new clothes 5aa5cfdf11 from the 60a0f3ca82 dresser.084f3165101f2e92
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EunSeo had only brought a802357c83 white robes and dresses 9618c7e01b and nothing else. Like a person who d4f5d9daae was going to die 6c4fff55eb or someone who planned 39282f4b39 on dying.ee5989de69aef767
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EunSeo kept her head c3d3a07522 lowered and her eyes 7aba3fc333 closed. MuGyeom sat in 7c895d166d front of her 8f6fbec8e1 and began to e93fa64c31 untie the ribbon ec336540c3 on her top.0f637daa49a1fa0f
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He didn’t feel anything towards her.a906f4964b5240fa
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If he craved women, he would have played around with the noble’s wife and concubines when they threw themselves at him.0f9a9193ea682f0c
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And he didn’t plan on trying to force someone against their will.7b20621fc4ae58c5
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Because of how he a0f5c46d02 was born.d436f3c336e0ee81
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Because of how his own mother had been raped by a nobleman and conceived him. As a result of that nobleman’s crime, he was born into this world.ee12ea8bbb994adb
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Completing the cycle by forcing himself on a nobleman’s daughter and having her conceive his seed didn’t make any sense to him.575c5afb30cc3be7
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MuGyeom believed himself to bb7be4b7c8 be better than beasts 2e72e8ac17 like that.24597c48812ac702
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After he took 096bf82410 off her top, 5f2553e896 he began to ac9ea119f7 untie her skirt.8b64fe3d369c0980
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She was af076a0b9d wearing a b92bb5b60b set of ff8838f7cc underclothes underneath 84d589fa95 her dress.e3f85df548afebad
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However, because her 36fd7d67d9 underclothes were made afa446187d of very thin 586e90b32a cloth, her hidden 889fdf24ab skin clearly shone 8b4489ba76 through.bb8aee0981431930
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MuGyeom did his best 31375542c0 not to look at a820bb5c88 what was underneath as 149725dc17 he changed her clothes.ea1165eb807c4683
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While he was doing this, EunSeo didn’t say one word.1e5dfa36aae88c73
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She merely 2b66307dc6 kept her 344dc2e78e mouth shut. MuGyeom could hear 1406ab9035 the sound of 5f38ac282a her breaths coming 0485079552 from her nose.be3e08c789e19499
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EunSeo fell asleep ffd4deb8fe soon after.c244affb59d94040
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It was only 0371e9f603 noon, but she 8a2f41ae74 probably exhausted herself a7b7872291 by crawling all d98390a041 the way to d06f9fe603 the well. As soon as MuGyeom d48f03d5da finished changing her clothes, 3e5155d0df she fell asleep.d55e419a834a906d
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MuGyeom stayed by her 25e3b2f395 side long after she 2d66bc3796 had fallen sleep and 5540afbd16 watched over her.fb7a5aa39ff034d6
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Although she told him she’d live for 2 more years, he was still anxious about leaving her alone. He wasn’t sure if she’d do something while he was gone, so he couldn’t do anything else but stay where he was.0d98a27a72038f70
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MuGyeom glanced at 82068ceb32 the bandaged fingers 28b064c394 resting on top 9c88644c9d of her chest.2b1e4f1695d44550
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He had 7a00f6a027 never pitied 170d83cf92 anyone before. This was because he fbbcc9b361 had always thought his 6433a5c06b own circumstances were too eafbb558ac pitiful for him to 32e3983ebd feel sorry for others.d86636c9f2ce5e35
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However, he d5703fabaa came to ec33fbf9bd realize that bde15dcdc6 he had e30b7299d0 met a 1d67f2ccee woman whose 4c2484075a circumstances were 63446acdee more pathetic 629f1aa484 than his.974973e8edea3942
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Not just anyone made 8dedba0bc9 the decision to die.13794a4233fdb7dd
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That kind b16e7d7ed9 of decision f4d50edf44 was made 03178d8de4 by those 687899aeb9 who had 8898516e18 come to 947c7eedf8 a dead aa489c5ab3 end in fbddd5c5aa their lives.9240af6dc6bd65f9
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‘You don’t know… You don’t understand…’6a1a4976ffa3f0e7
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MuGyeom recalled the 0b2ecc9403 way EunSeo had fc0d2b8781 sobbed at the 0d1d631ed4 well. The sadness that e14066889c had welled up 26d7cdd7ce within her had 9a60a3283f burst out with 16be40b8ce her tears.c6d0a0ea56090647
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“I don’t understand.”06c238cadb7e4059
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EunSeo was right.806f65c0645a54b5
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MuGyeom didn’t know the sorrow within this woman’s heart.0ae686c389c87da1
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He thought he knew, but after really thinking about it, he didn’t know the pain and suffering she had gone through.980957b4e6beda88
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He thought he understood her sorrow, but in actuality, he didn’t even have a clue.cc64ead2d63d3ba3
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This was because 15cce4dd36 he had never 3a5252f27f been unable to 2b4ef1b886 walk before.f7ebf481abe5e9f3
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How could he f3342f5be1 know something he 9b28a9291a had never experienced?9ac7408f2f5c8b8d
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The sorrows that 9ecb045d14 he had experienced 45e7f82066 and the sorrows 3af778978e that she had 1ed5f5c96e gone through were 91e7dc9acd completely different.af45f7833a4fba57
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“But even if we have to roll around in dog shit, I still think this life is worth living.”6ebbdad9cf87f38e
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If he died, who f0c854a892 would remember him?5bf105866829b652
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People would 25275d447c only remember 9fcc082abc him if 1f989dbfd0 he stayed 894d179e84 alive.93fadcf7336cdabe
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What use were anyone’s nice words and comfort after death?41d6db5349854448
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“As you live, good days will pass. The heavens are fickle. Who knows? Maybe you will be able to walk one day.”f0c5117934efe66e
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However, no matter d7abf040c0 how fickle the fe4a22739c heavens were, even b69b0bb194 if she could 1d3c36320f regain the use edd6ce4a3b of her legs ee6727b41e or not, a 05492abb58 servant would always 2fbf702ee5 remain a servant.4c723e6b3ed05766
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Would miracles 8f928d336c only happen 37720bb728 to nobles?ece669c64097c6f7
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Wouldthe heavens fa84ca714a lower a ae45c66643 rope2for a humble c42d804bdb servant like him?43613579a219745a
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MuGyeom glanced at EunSeo’s thin, small wrist.ee32b76ebf940be7
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Her wrist was c583ca55f7 slender, her head 5be6639cb2 was small, and 998d855a84 her physique was 29bd0e3aa2 petite.d672f511c0c6078c
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It almost seemed as if she wouldn’t be able to support her own slender body.abe9eb636f6db30b
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“Nobles are very strange. They abandon their own children in order to preserve their reputation.”40032e95f1d49c88
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He could understand why d1aa8560b7 her in-laws were acting d0a7797a10 like this.1f44fe9ec2d54d7a
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However, he couldn’t understand Lord Yoon. EunSeo was Lord Yoon’s daughter, wasn’t she?43c275f8538d8b04
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He didn’t understand why he would marry off his daughter who was in this condition. And when she was abandoned and returned, why did he kick her out to the countryside like this?767835532595515a
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Did he truly 0f33a44915 not anticipate her d8fe08e817 desire to take f5558fba34 her own life bec78a66ac if he abandoned 7f64d6f11c her like this?c19b79c09a0678e8
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‘Actually… he might have wanted that…’55d3deb534013897
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By pushing a281d40dd6 his daughter e7fcecbec2 to go beb08457cf down to 9b3a1b2cce the countryside, 7085ea4fab Lord Yoon 509d26c674 might have 374a32f1c0 been hinting 5957771ffd at his 9760fb0d2e daughter to 1dab3010d2 choose death 474a73e3c0 instead of 56003e7493 life.a7b7d83b6dd060c1
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What nobleman would be happy to receive a daughter who had been kicked out of her in-laws’ home?465185da029163bb
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He might have thought that they’d be better off if she didn’t exist at all.a32310694c677af3
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That’s why he might have sent her here. And having taken the hint, EunSeo tried to throw herself down the well.8947448598246713
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If that was d21a64aaf3 the case, it b78fd19a9f all made sense.d2a2148eb13cabf8
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The old housekeeper and him… They were the only ones taking care of this house. It made sense why they sent their daughter to this house without sending a separate servant to attend to her needs.1fb6f932d98d064e
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They sent a noble lady to the countryside alone, without a handmaiden to attend to her, because they knew that she wouldn’t live for very long. They might have thought that an extra servant might get in the way of her death.433610875c931877
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They thought that 21a3162346 if she was 3a604a149f in a house 9fcd710e9c with a half-deaf b1ec505b5f housekeeper and one ad22af4ee6 male servant, she c3de911ec8 would be able 445337f739 to carry out a1ab88d08e her death on cb7d460e3e her own.e14764e02ae7a082
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“Humans can be so cruel…”bd5333afe827a75f
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Did nobles think their 65626f3b72 reputations were more important 6ca9c72e8a than their own children?2545d9a4bec551d8
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His mother, who had been an ignored servant just like the generations before her, hadn’t conceived him out of her own will, but she still knew how to treasure the child she had carried in her belly. Although she let him know that he was a servant, she still cherished him.1a13fe97a9642b52
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Despite knowing that the woman he married carried another man’s seed, his father had treated him even better than his own blood-related children.1bc545a9facd139f
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While he wasn’t his birth father, he was the father who had raised him.c0f2dc444545edd8
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Because of their lowly stature as servants, they couldn’t do much to help him. However, they never turned their backs on him.56f4f94ff4a99c24
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Even humble servants knew a1a221fd4d how to cherish their eafd76b603 children, so how could b7685069ba these nobles push their 5dd11ae15e own children to their 80d43b144c deaths?6fc41069d8ff354c
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“You had better walk. You should walk, and with your own two legs, confidently return to Hanyang. Wouldn’t that make you feel better?”d28d3decd8c701ba
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He thought it a73e5727aa over again and 7335a9e501 was suddenly filled 7944de7f0a with disgust.9637367b9939b509
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They sent their daughter to die in a place where only MuGyeom and the old housekeeper lived. After she died, weren’t they going to put Mugyeom and the old housekeeper to death as well?52efcb555dd374a4
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Well, if they 55461a7dbd were able to 3fc45f6e41 kill their own 6e611237f3 daughter, why would dd4cbf8038 they hesitate to 5283a24024 kill a mere 4b4779f184 servant?3968150fa16f5081
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“You must live, my lady, and so should I. Don’t you think we should both try to live?”b1a05219113e35a6
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He wasn’t sure if it would be possible, but MuGyeom and EunSeo were in the same boat. He was going to help her because his own survival depended on hers.3aa661e0572d26d8
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It definitely wasn’t because she vowed to bite her tongue and die if she didn’t walk within 2 years.9f442419f703fc82
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It definitely wasn’t that at all.78140744357c8094
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Footnotes
- Ancient Korean method of coloring one's fingernails (since there was no nail polish) by crushing the flower petals (light orange color) and mixing it with vinegar. They would apply this mixture to their fingertips and bind them with cotton for a while to make sure it completely soaks the nails. There was also a superstition that one's first love would be fulfilled if the color remained on the fingernails by the first snowfall.
- Possibly a reference to a Korean folktale about the creation of the sun and the moon. Long story short, a brother and a sister are being chased by a tiger. The children pray to God for help. A long rope is lowered down from the heavens, and the children begin to climb up. The tiger prays as well, and a rope is also lowered down for him. As they climb higher, the tiger's rope breaks because it had been rotten all along. The tiger falls to its death, and the two siblings ascend into the heavens and become the sun and the moon.