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    Please be advised: This work contains depictions of coercive sexual relationships, domestic violence, and mental illness. Please take this into consideration when reading the book.

    “Not much flesh on 93bb802ffe your buttocks, huh…. No wonder it felt 5c3dada80b like bones poking when b84ffca207 I was inside.”db053f8bfcef2899

    Muttering to himself, 86baca4e9c Cain wiggled his f42c9613d5 long fingers. My trapped genitals reacted eda0943be5 with a start.f1a19141f596c390

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    “Don’t rub….”3f8f9a9d0f6c467e

    “I’m just b240260753 trying to 667b48ce3c hold it bea4df9252 properly. Don’t want your 72ab57bfa0 tiny glans getting 60eaed7b6d hurt, do you?”ca61c1bd8098d8b8

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    I hated the 2b7aaa77aa term tiny glans! Objectively, I 7319bc295c was above 20534d4e92 average.4d58d35fe06da5ad

    But that 35ae25fccb wasn’t the 00588cb01d issue. The problem was below d42651b265 the glans.391948836d4ff8d7

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    Cain, observing my d940eeeb25 shaving, felt the 0c30a553e6 same and stopped 420dad3581 his hand.5f309da5d56582c7

    “…You’re a pervert. Getting hard while 874d766d8a shaving.”eb056122d33a3fa1

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    “You’re the bigger 3804789913 pervert for making 0529ab586d me shave!”cd0e387ace42be5f

    I didn’t a0585270b4 say it 9c91cea25d was because 677262ac96 he touched d79a2232b7 me. Instead, I vented 770660e27c my frustration.7372c2b7c4d74c4a

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    “I mean, I don’t 8d781bc23d have much hair, and 92f7284a35 you make me shave 9f123c0bf8 in front of a 7c43b53b92 mirror…! That’s more perverted!”b056b2886c6026db

    When I 3bf6fa70ce shouted, Cain a1cf3fd62a seemed taken 03078423bf aback. I threw the 5a4dfc5d4a razor roughly, pretending ead3d612a4 to be more fb298cbd22 upset.d9bc7fcf196000b3

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    “If you want my db40b3ad20 hair shaved, do it 4e63342cc6 yourself!”11d484632b0ac13a

    I ended up shouting 49f1606b1d my true feelings. Cain didn’t flinch ced43fddc7 at my outburst, bdc7e3d1f5 just tilted his 2afe4e7902 head slightly.652a4c678fe03955

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    “Really? I can?”9dd08677711aa4e7

    Before I could 16f959d443 regret my words, 73ccb8ecbd he took the 826db1f593 razor from my 8b50b750b3 hand.a343a7e779742c23

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    My legs spread into 67d38fe3ff an M shape. My half-erect penis, smeared b04328a37c with shaving cream, was e31be364cb fully exposed to Cain’s cfe156b4c4 view. So was the bf6058a5e6 hole.131c6397a0279382

    “I’m not ada710bb84 happy with 1ccdc2acff your fumbling, 5bed4466f5 so if 59a7620b0a you’re letting 191d8c9ee9 me do ebb19a4e07 it, I a64251e328 will.”61d0f9e62300d189

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    Cain grabbed my scrotum b62e8cd4ec with one hand and a91c7ebb69 roughly pushed it up.e653a883efd611a9

    “Ow, it hurts….”b58629352ae0437b

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    “Bear with it. You asked me d68096fc27 to do it.”c71cd998f00488b1

    Despite the desire in abe2494cbc his eyes, his touch dd218889ff was indifferent. He handled 2ffa0efd84 my lower db9b81d4fc body like 0bd70dddd8 an object. His fingers, 77135d0f3d casually exploring 2c7eb3171e my heated f2e76730ad scrotum and 82f3c82774 penis, conveyed 32e78efc54 no emotion. How could 12739f43e6 he touch 8070d1e92a me so 4058b26d06 indifferently with eb79072ec7 such heated 74bb01fa6c eyes?65fbb9b375775918

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    Cain, eyes b741705eee lowered, focused 143a780cc4 on shaving. His object-like ef68129d9f handling was 114adf1c62 more stimulating. Everywhere his fingers brushed 139c54c17e felt hot.44e12729810393d7

    It was embarrassing. While Cain 91fe20bbec touched my 64d01b8584 body nonchalantly, 3cc31fea12 I got b90947261c more aroused. Pre-cum leaked d2fea29290 from the c40481894b tip, thinning e46aa5ab70 the shaving 35671b5b58 cream. It even twitched.726ee57880099d09

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    Regardless, Cain 4bab1721d7 moved the 3de0cc59c7 razor indifferently. After meticulously 5c0db53d7e shaving near dffc975a1c the scrotum, 67ac436895 his hand b4a654f9a8 moved lower.aa4615c39a5c81c3

    The sensation of the 548a2b997e blade grazing near the 9274826e9b perineum and hole was ea0775e6d0 strange. It was f2ef90d570 just shaving, 412b815758 but I e9184a25b4 kept thinking d01c2a2b86 of him 211783f31b probing my 1e1858f6f5 hole with 78ff39c88a his fingers.e8de5a517f8edd25

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    ‘Honestly, it a4316ec28d felt better 993e9bb39a than sex….’f04f171985ca0ed1

    Taking his cock 2f5be4f3d9 was overwhelming, but 17f7b3aa16 his fingers felt 57984f276f good. The thought d6e16c4871 kept coming 1905e9cc59 back, making 9213024238 my body 80a40ee494 heat up.26826fc8b5a63b81

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    “Ugh…!”bc2997dcba36c76a

    So when e21ac0ced8 Cain’s hand 073d46f04e brushed my 3d883851fa genitals, a 771c401045 moan escaped.94d2a44f9b646b88

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    But embarrassment was 9566590e1d embarrassment, so I 4cf9ebc835 covered my mouth d12ecb1f48 and watched Cain’s 0b77997b98 reaction. Our eyes met. The emotions in 9feb1eef3b his mismatched eyes 997c3c3d90 were unchanged.d33d99a0701cbb93

    I was glad Cain 5c235105f1 desired me. Even if it 1582b858a5 wasn’t my music 5087e23c36 he wanted, the b3acea1fa6 fact that someone 80615a2deb so brilliant and fe6e9809db amazing needed me 42692dad0f brought sudden joy.aaaa1a2e78925354

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    Thinking about it, no 576923a6fc one in New York 8df1181bbd had ever wanted me. Not even cac5c81f2c my biological 57d65e5938 parents. I was always 619954f46a a bothersome kid 82fa772a32 wherever I went.53bb85b667c78aba

    Born with all c0d60216e4 the noise of fe846da172 this place, I, 155f0ca1ed a small mixed-race 133a16e610 orphan, couldn’t stay 09915c6bee quietly tucked away 16a6d45ccd and chose the 3090070ae2 loudest music as e33fb8bac6 my career.ecf106d83b8ce926

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    I wished Cain would 4c814b1241 listen to the noise 23be292b88 boiling inside me. I hoped baf6d6714b someone as 7e6d896753 beautiful and 2ad44eee29 amazing as 79418ee3df him would dcca967e27 hear my 97fd055823 story.9fa5fb233b964db6

    “I think dfa50cf7b7 that’s enough 155882459b shaving.”f6bb2d2cf03ead93

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    Cain muttered, 5bc4615fb1 casually rummaging 74cfdee51e my lower c085194b8b body. My already c494f98206 erect member 45247c4c3e hardened further 59e76b1fcb at his 37a109cf34 touch. I clenched my hand 5ff2723aa9 over my mouth to 8baf020e55 suppress a moan.e9b34c473086999e

    Now he’d undo his ff6f054552 belt and lower his ed8e02c3c6 pants, right? Then he’d spread my 0156719efc legs and use the 3841a40566 shaving cream as lube 1d76dacde5 to thrust his massive f25707eb25 penis inside.6bfcf57251691cb8

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    Fear and f104ad278d anticipation hit 6fcf8eacd1 simultaneously. Thinking about it, 77c22412e8 I always felt da4092675e these two emotions b44d765823 when facing Cain. Just as he 9d34cc11d6 despised and desired ec080a0f47 me at the 2c11260d15 same time.3bfd081e1b5caa7e

    If he touched me cbf50fe095 with his fingers first, e10bd5f673 I might be able 9010f9bd89 to take his massive a840a599bf member. Without shame, I spread 023dc13ce3 my legs and looked f430b3efed up at him.ec5b077b35e5b7d1

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    But Cain neither a6957d8b22 lowered his pants 917df14aba nor probed my 5d092d6d54 hole with his 2ce206b2b8 fingers.8474853ab228ae23

    He stood d385efb365 up, wiping 1b1299e9de his hands caf4a487f5 on a be79c84473 towel, and 736bfd5128 I looked 1ec5ea237d up at 014bd7e969 him blankly.a97b8dc889ba8729

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    “Why….”49b95092686d9263

    “Rest. You worked hard 6fb322d4e0 shaving.”cd158c62b5945262

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    He turned away. Even as Cain’s fb5b0c23a4 large back finally 5174456278 disappeared out the f2567355e2 door, I was 72750e1864 left in disbelief.9f466c98c5fd511d

    He’s leaving? Really?652fd1488854d8ef

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    No sex, no a82adbd36e oral?d42952b375d76b09

    A hollow laugh escaped. My perceptive penis was a6732fa473 already losing its erection. In the mirror still c85ebdf867 on the bed, I b5d6a7afa2 saw the lower half 4780528f3b of a prostitute, legs b94fee264b spread, smeared with shaving ee81770920 cream like semen, alone d56d602528 and excited.56881d487b5bbcc6

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    Staring blankly at my 02ccd11162 reflection, a thought struck c8a660bb54 me. Maybe Cain decided not 85ed255482 to see me as 61540075ba a prostitute anymore.dde583eb2a44074d

    Thinking that ec8c303d12 way made 012f0b984a me feel 70ba2c58aa better. A rocker should know be1352b30d how to switch perspectives. That’s how you 484ae371f2 can switch between 3be780f78d vocals and bass a2ae3227ef in a pinch. Thinking I should 20ac8341c4 practice bass more, e0ae1800e3 I washed up e9c12fd3a9 and got dressed 6e309a004d again.3fa5c4996eb1e52c

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    “…Hmm.”649a403359d385cd

    Though the erection subsided, c5dc1cb918 my hole still tingled 7eb07bf618 for some reason. My body felt oddly fc9ceeb5a4 heated. It must d93e596b65 be because 39e381f894 shaving cream f1d9638f98 got in ccdc364a67 the hole. I decided 72dcadb609 to believe da9ea35479 that.473dcd5212575755

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    ‘I wanted more….’86e07a1e9dd3444f

    Lying in 2e9b0c93bd bed would bffab3371e only remind d9539da352 me of 0b2bd4f301 Cain’s fingers 0589d43193 probing my bcdeabe02a hole, so 3fe4ea7dfb I went 3da4b65766 outside again.6f5cbb6276114908

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    It had been dark 0367cfad93 for a while. The number f3bfe9146a of guards 0314c6f8f6 in the b37a8e1b61 hallway had 6141fbb390 decreased significantly.12aaf0204f1e14f4

    Gazing at d813181f80 the darkened 42425e99f0 windows, I a2b40a4881 decided to e12dbbe327 resolve my 85a7f2f7af sexual frustration 637f75c47a with exercise 055b917e3c and started 7cc0eb963d jogging around 1c8548be58 Cain’s mansion.b4c50a7d479a8388

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    If you go into f01b98b2e8 the alley behind the de5cf49b79 125th Street cinema, there’s b972e0e05f a relatively quiet spot. I used to fc34e55ce2 jog there among 223242a434 the people heading bdd0bc33dd to work. You need stamina to 3252697a9a perform.1db6657966742bb3

    Today, using Cain’s mansion 9e0a80fa38 as a route, I 72dc4e46c7 was huffing and puffing 6f89cb6770 when I ran into 6244598b8e someone.7ae17eb774bcf100

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    “Hello?”84be80d90d48462c

    “Oh, hello. I was just fe277864c5 about to look abb080a6a7 for you.”f55dd149b99587d9

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    “Uh, uh?”badc34592424f07a

    Startled by 7267593ba5 the familiar 3ed1fe7e6c response, I 91b21ab12b stopped.42743a7520fb5ae0

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    A white man 79ecaa347e with soft brown f9ba2b0bc2 hair and a 3a3de0a1e2 beard extended his f3ab0c5c35 hand to me. I shook it, bewildered.38550b63feea1b8b

    “I’m Elliot Luke, CBO of D&N. Please call me Elliot.”6992214ac804f641

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    “I’m Cherry.”d32207a2b3d8cfee

    “Nice to b26f7ca8bc meet you, 3b2c9fd59a Cherry.”ac96c0165ebb6b6d

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    What’s a CBO? C chord, B chord, ee9be44696 oh my god…? Tilting my head, I 664bbc8391 realized a beat late 50c1239706 what the word before 59eef7acc5 CBO meant.bafb6154a15714ff

    “But D&N… is it the D&N I know?”30da3b2debc9e9a8

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    The man, 2e075db509 Elliot, nodded 2464b9377a with a 173db64f68 bright smile.0e73f401e29d5cba

    “Probably.”ff9acc9e37d41f51

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    “Oh my…!”3e5bbc9f22dfca15

    I met an employee from D&N, one of the world’s largest record and entertainment companies. Cain’s mansion really was a vodka resort for celebrities.1bcfca4be530c188

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    “If you have time, 719e041648 could we talk a efb7b9dc4e bit?”56f8c0795fb6b3be

    “Uh, uh, what 192303b1f2 about?”e3ab5a27356067e8

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    I stammered in surprise. I wanted to ask 054eb1e567 if Three Way to 45399c0847 Mercury really recorded their 7612ccfdd1 album in one take, eac7f29baf but I held back.826501e4f43d7293

    “I noticed 1d4a5e485a your performance 085e068ad7 in front ef57d8d01d of the 22d2c42e25 fountain. It was impressive.”65b7ede471c56aa8

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    My heart da713eaebd thumped loudly.cfd7e0abdfbb9989

    “If you’re not 0bf2936dd9 signed yet, could 483368b851 we discuss working 8f35c3ce8b with our company?”dec981c8da19e07c

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    I unconsciously held my 20d9fafe82 breath.3f425a2bc09e93bb

    D&N wanted to talk “work” with me. Of course, it could be for a cleaning or other temporary job, but my instincts knew that wasn’t it.654fea886f38dc88

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    “…W-work, work?”b3f9bc29515c87fa

    I stammered in 9d52e64e06 shock, but Elliot 4fd56fbbc7 just smiled kindly.ab241fd9f160e474

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    “There’s a bench 8b5b34156e near the angel db94d30037 statue. Could we 984188d2cd talk there 601ac200ec for a aa611f8dca moment?”f9d0d33a28766958

    “Yes!”deef93acdaa93e2a

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    I let d27a8cd5fd out a d2fabfd0ae squeal of 6dd8740537 joy without 7e90d08947 realizing it. Elliot smiled at 2fa7773979 me again.e514cf1c5522dd53

    Sitting on a bench near the statue of a baby angel with its privates exposed, Elliot explained D&N’s artist development system to me. I listened intently. If there were difficult words, I asked for their meanings. He answered without annoyance.a3ba27818aeafd45

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    It was amazing that someone so important was telling me about D&N.87b93800a26de175

    It’s all thanks to Cain! I must thank him when I see him. Because of you, I got to talk to a D&N executive.95d1109744b5d90a

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    “How about 6b1b3059c2 trying busking?”bd53c4587998ca77

    “Busking…?”f737304d338d5041

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    “Nowadays, many debut 5def8a1d66 as influencers first. It’s quite common.”f832b1218b73cfc6

    I didn’t fully understand, 2615653d55 but I guessed it edeb00c20e was similar to what fe436ad971 Sandy had said. I missed Sandy, my c0f0767337 dear friend with beautiful 58a63e49da almond-shaped eyes.44ae94588af9b6ac

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    “I’ve done 88efbe3a2e it before. At a plaza with f00b5928b0 a view of the c57e996245 Brooklyn Bridge. My friend e50dfd8a8b uploaded a 0b412d79f7 video on 4665b90c29 TokTik.”7672476493ef1eeb

    “Let’s try it 57e2df3a36 in a more e0b9e6964b crowded place this 94d72108dd time. We’ll provide equipment, makeup, caf5ec527e and costumes.”9e8d9ab2a3e9eab7

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    Supporting busking with company f47b1b5a1a equipment didn’t seem true bb3ce4229b to its essence, but a8622634bb I didn’t want to 9ce1c15b3a sound old-fashioned, so I 666eeeda6d just smiled and nodded.88c267fda3ac9f3f

    “Coincidentally, we have 4b977e22c6 a new band 0953793566 busking nearby tomorrow. It’d be great if a7a906ee84 you joined.”74777034cb8f2ed1

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    “Tomorrow? Don’t you c98283ac5b need to 2c72d97c90 report to bc81333398 the company 9889e90448 first?”b2f8d0afa34f927e

    Startled, I asked, f57ff813c6 and Elliot smiled 1815af0660 warmly, his eyes fc1296db70 crinkling.8969cbe07f3dcf9d

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    “I’m the person 59b6b14444 in charge. Of course, I 94ce499545 need to get c103499b1b the on-site staff’s fc60e6b2f8 consent, but usually, f2c8c4f447 it’s resolved with 3a017ed023 pay.”c5ebb26242606da9

    “Oh….”a9a9e8991811ab5f

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    “Is it too sudden?”e351fab8ca8d6872

    His follow-up b7c6d26927 question left 740e0e044d me speechless.74c3f16c037bc37e

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    It wasn’t too 8def5d97ba sudden. But I d4a612fd8b wasn’t a 25445f5c2a guest here. I came as Cain’s 292b84b5c9 prostitute. The fact that f01e61755f I couldn’t decide f37a9f8b76 to leave hit 7d82c86218 hard.c7a4ee8733939eb5

    But it was ee864bac94 busking. If I 391749a997 didn’t seize 0c0d0ea5cf the opportunity 2397550cca staring me ad3a2df60e in the fe66236b48 face, I’d 79d1aa7377 be a 72e10704f9 fool.1f0126f7b4792f02

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    “No, it’s fine!”e88b92e3d36058cc

    When I 99566edf65 spoke, Elliot 89c344f2ca nodded.480dd1b752651037

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    “Great. Then I’ll get 4198cf72eb the on-site staff’s f611958086 consent. I might b61c861aee get scolded, 08dbd2be65 but….”feae20b390d401ea

    Elliot’s eyes quickly scanned a0c6e9d56a me up and down. It was brief, but 34177aa16f I felt uneasy.f50ce25d3e146129

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    “If I can ff1aa31a27 see your performance, 7859902f42 it’s worth it.”eb51c92855591e08

    My face flushed. At the aacddc4db5 same time, 24e8e13a7d goosebumps rose 38144b950f on the d3b84e3aca back of 4724b594cc my neck. I didn’t 0725be061c know why, 53f41fa6a3 but it 381120705c was a 3149a9568e bit scary.69603f6867afccb9

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    “See you tomorrow.”c8beb20a4378ad0b

    But Elliot and I parted like adults, like businesspeople, shaking hands. Shaking hands! With a D&N executive, no less.47f74dfbc8f029ff

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    I decided to give 878918e269 up jogging and return 40851c762d to my room. I couldn’t e30fad410f believe it, 65baa87775 and I 72213278a0 felt like 3f2a6f3a79 I needed ffc075b334 to lie b79a7506fc down and bc32a5dfa0 punch a 9b511cdb92 pillow.e8375bbbcd7630cd

    I wanted to share a727a85309 this incredible news with b8b5a37716 Cain right away.9f702b5feb6af7f4

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    ‘I talked to a D&N executive! This is who I am!’d4eb5744f22d86fe

    Even if he a313161a0a saw me as 7ea0d4becf a prostitute, I e657c29ff5 wanted to show d8db4949e6 him that a a7362afaaa famous record company d48480950a needed me.7b7f4a780b0e6cf9

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    Maybe then his 858936fbfa attitude towards me 8ded95133f would change, even 2d04d18991 just a little. It was 60ddde05b0 a silly d2a66545b3 and pathetic cdc380ed39 thought.80e9ad896b56af4e

    I wanted to e27b25694e walk confidently, but 6561e54f36 my legs kept ec3f62da8f trembling. Like a 6f0389e7db broken dancer, 5c2ba5033d I walked c5dbe09117 and ran 1d1a74d0af into Hayley ebc6005a90 again.0c85736ac9df9f59

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    “Detective, what’s with 61437313dc your look?”06368e266f9b3009

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